Crystal King: Hey, anyone know where the machete is? I want to cut some coconuts.
Bowser: I tied it to a tree.
Crystal King: Uh... why?
Bowser: Um, duh? Anti Guy was trying to kill us with it?
Crystal King: Oh. Right.
The camera shows Anti Guy hopping up and down repeatedly, trying to get the machete.
Anti Guy: Will somebody help me?!
Everyone ignores him.
Anti Guy: JERKS!!!
Rawk Hawk, Moronic Wrestler: C'mon everybody! Let's RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Anti Guy: SHUT UP!!!
Rawk Hawk, Moronic Wrestler: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Anti Guy: Guuuuuys... Can you PLEASE get the machete down for me? I wanna kill Rawk Hawk...
Bowser: And me.
Anti Guy: Shut up!
Rawk Hawk, Moronic Wrestler: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Bowser: And everyone else.
Anti Guy: That's not true! I don't wanna kill everyone.
Bowser: Yeah. Right.
Anti Guy: Shut up!
Rawk Hawk, Moronic Wrestler: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!
Anti Guy: Thank DAD...
Rawk Hawk: I can't hear you!!! Let's RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Anti Guy: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Fawful: I have furry!
Crystal King: Uh... Anyone want a coconut?
Toad: Well that was a depressing Tribal Council.
Geno: Not really. We got rid of Mallow.
Jinx: True. Very true.
Yoshi: Yoshi happy.
Chancellor: I do believe we're all quite relieved.
Toad: You can say that again!
Chancellor: I do believe we're all quite relieved.
Jinx: Ugh... My "Lame Joke 'O Meter" is screaming like mad...
Mario: Cheese Curd!
Luigi, Ghost Buster: I'm just glad no one's mentioned the... (whispering) B-Word.
Yoshi: Hey, look everyone! A bathroom!
Luigi: Dang it!
Mario: Where, where?
Jinx: There where we go again...
Toad: Go? We're not going anywhere!
Geno: All of you are going to the insane asylum once we return.
Geno: You especially!
Mallow: You too, you jerk!
Jinx: NOOOOOO! He's back! How?
Toad: Ha ha, guys. That was just me pretending. Not bad, eh?
The tribe surrounds Toad and beat the daylights out of him.
Toad, Hyperactive Fungus: You know...
I don't mind the pain so much as the fact that this could hurt my
chances for winning the game. I know! One little joke and everyone wigs out...
Mario, Demented Plumber: DoooooWAAAAdoooooWAAAAdoooo!!!
Rawk Hawk: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!
Anti Guy: MY EARS!
Rawk Hawk: Again?
Anti Guy: No way in #### you ###### ####! I oughta ###### the ###### ####!
Rawk Hawk: Why you-
Bowyer: Settle down you should! Bloodshed there should not be!
Rawk Hawk: Why should I? You're just
some dumb walking, talking arch-shaped weirdo with a string
between ya! I don't need to listen to you!
Crystal King: Well yeah, but-
Rawk Hawk: Or you! I'd RAAAAAAAAAAAWK you all!
King Boo: Um... guys?
Rawk Hawk: What, you crown-wearing kookie bird?
King Boo: Crown wearing- Did you just-
Anti Guy: Ignore him.
King Boo: Yeah, I have that much figured out. Anyway, we have tree mail.
Bowser: What's that again?
Anti Guy: *smacks self* Just like it sounds, moron! It's mail you get from a tree!
Bowser: Woah. There's a tree that gives us mail? Werid.
Anti Guy: *sigh* Well, what'd it say?
King Boo: Couldn't tell. Something about chucking stuff around. You know, I hate those stupid poems.
Anti Guy: So do I! Well, I hate-
Crystal King: Everything. We know.
Lakitu: C'mon in, guys!
The two tribes come out of a grove of
plant life and stop on top of two different colored mats, one being
green and the other being orange.
Geno: Were these things here last time?
Jinx: What, the mats? I don't think so...
Lakitu: *ahem* Anyway...
As Lakitu speaks, the camera shows a
section of sand that has a large rectangular box with a line going
horizontally through the center painted on top of it. There are seven coconuts sitting on the middle line
with about two feet of distance between them.
Lakitu: In this challenge, you guys
are going to be playing an old fashioned game of dodgeball, only you'll
be using coconuts. Sounds fun, right?
Crystal King: Sounds more painful then fun.
Lakitu: But you'll forget all about then pain, 'cause if you win, you get a big 'ol pack of waterproof matches!
Tribe Lavalava: Yay!
Bowser: But we already HAVE fire, you numbskull!
Lakitu: Heh. Too bad for you! Oh, and Tribe Yoshi, King Boo will be sitting out so that the teams are even.
King Boo: But why me? Don't we get to choose?
Lakitu: No. You're automatically out
'cause you can do a bunch of cheep stuff like being able to fly and turn
King Boo: Rats.
Lakitu: Indeed. Well, what are you waiting
for? Get to the baseline of your team's side and let's get this
Toad: Hold on. Aren't you supposed to ask if we have any questions?
Lakitu: What's the point? I never give you time to respond anyway.
Both tribes magically appear at their respective baselines via camera cuts, while Lakitu appears at the side of court.
Lakitu: Survivors ready...? Dodgeball!
No one moves.
Jinx: You're supposed to say "go", you idiot!
Lakitu: Oh. Er. Right. Survivors ready...? Go!
The fourteen players sprint towards
the center line. Actually, only twelve of them do because Mario and
Rawk Hawk have no idea what's going on.
Rawk Hawk: What the RAAAAAAAAAWK is going on here?
Yoshi: Yoshi have headache now! You going down!
Yoshi hurls and coconut at Rawk Hawk, who makes no attempt to dodge and gets hammered on the head and falls to the ground.
Rawk Hawk: Feel... the... Rawk...
Lakitu: That's one player down for Tribe Yoshi!
Mario: *crack* Mamamia!
Lakitu: Ooooh... and Mario takes a hit to the stomach! He's outta there!
Bowser: Heh. I've always wanted to do tha- *thock*
Lakitu: And a well-placed throw from Geno takes Bowser out of the game! Tribe Yoshi is down five players to six!
Geno: Ha! Take that!
Doopliss: I will avenge you!
Doopliss runs forward and aims a coconut
at Geno, but trips on his sheet and falls. Seconds later, he is
clobbered by several coconuts thrown at him by Tribe Lava members.
Lakitu: Doopliss is out!
Anti Guy: Way to go, champ!
Doopliss: Shut up.
Fawful: Take this, you pathetic fruit bats of nothingness!
Fawful throws a coconut, but it slips out of his tiny hands and lands a foot in front of him. Once again, Tribe Lavalava seizes the opportunity, and Yoshi throws a painful head shot.
Lakitu: Fawful is gone! Now only Anti Guy, Crystal King, and Bowyer are left for Tribe Yoshi!
Bowyer: Lose we will not! *thock*
Lakitu: Ouch! The Chancellor nails Bowyer with a wicked sidearm throw!
Anti Guy: How the #### did he pull that off?!
Crystal King: No idea.
Luigi: Hey! You! Potty mouth! Take this!
Geno: Did someone say potty?
Luigi: ... GAH!!!
Anti Guy: Now THAT's an opening if I've ever seen one!
Lakitu: Anti Guy takes advantage of Luigi's little... mishap and scores a direct hit! The lurpy plumber is outta there!
Luigi: Thanks a lot, Geno!
Lakitu: Tribe Yoshi is still down two to five! Can they make a comeback?
Crystal King: You bet!
Crystal King hurls a coconut in each
arm at Yoshi. The dino expertly leaps the spherical island food and
flutters in the air for a moment while Jinx passes him a coconut of his own. Yoshi quickly fires and takes
Crystal King out of the game.
Lakitu: Tribe Yoshi is down to a single member!
Bowser: Come on, Anti Guy! You can do it!
Anti Guy: Oh can it, turtle freak. As soon as I get that machete down from the tree, consider yourself mincemeat!
Bowser: ... Jerk.
Lakitu: Anti Guy has a single coconut left on his side! Can he make it count?
Anti Guy: Eat this, dino brain!
Anti Guy fires, but the coconut sails over Yoshi's head.
Anti Guy: #####!!! ####### #### #####!!!
Geno: Uh... wow.
Jinx: Come on, guys, let's gather up all our ammo and fire all at once!
Yoshi: Good plan.
The five remaining Lavalava Tribe members
(Toad, Yoshi, Chancellor, Jinx, and Geno) line up on the
center line and aim at Anti Guy.
Jinx: (whispering) Three... two... one... throw!
The five members all throw towards Anti
Guy, who lets out a yelp and ducks to the ground. Being short, all
the coconuts sail over him.
Toad: Dang it! We missed!
Yoshi: Don't worry! Yoshi got more coconuts!
Yoshi keeps one and passes the remaining
coconut to Geno, and the pair both let lose. Anti Guy rolls
backwards, grabs two coconuts on his side and deflects the two throws.
Anti Guy: Fuahahahahahahahahah!
Anti Guy hurls his two coconuts at Toad and Chancellor, knocking them both out of the game. He then quickly scoops up two more and nails both Jinx and Geno.
Lakitu: Wow! What a stunning turn of
events! Anti Guy has most expertly dodged seven balls thrown in his
direction and then counterattacked, putting both teams at a one to one tie!
Anti Guy: It's go time, dino boy.
Both Yoshi and Anti Guy hurl their coconuts at each other, and both come down with amazing diving catches.
Lakitu: I don't believe it! Both Yoshi
and Anti Guy have caught each other's balls! That means they're
both out, and are replaced by the tribe members on either side who were out first!
Jinx: ... Wait. Hold on. You're telling me-
Lakitu: Yes! Mario and Rawk Hawk are back in the game!
Rawk Hawk: All right! Let's RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWK!!!
Bowyer: ... Stinks this does.
Geno: You've got that right.
Lakitu: It's moron on moron! Who will claim victory for their tribe?!
Bowser: Hmmmm... After careful couculaters, I'd have to say that Mario is more of an idiot.
Anti Guy: Speak for yourself...
Bowser: Excuse me?!
Anti Guy: *ahem* Nothing, nothing...
Lakitu: Ooooh, how exciting! Both Mario and Rawk Hawk seem to be doing absolutely nothing!
Rawk Hawk: Yeah, yeah! Let's RAAAAAAAAAAAWK!!!
Mario: Weeeheeheee! Haaaahahaaaaa!
Geno: Mario! Pick up one of those coconuts and throw it at him!
Mario picks up a coconut and begins to chomp on it.
Jinx: No, no! You idiot! Don't eat it, throw it! Throw it!
Mario throws the coconut into the air above him.
Yoshi: Yoshi no like what going on...
Toad: ... Uh oh.
The coconut comes down on Mario's head and knocks him out.
Crystal King: Uh... Does that mean we win?
Lakitu: Um, yeah. *holds hands up* Tribe Yoshi wins reward!
Toad: Aw, man.
Jinx: Dang it.
Mario: I'm-a the winner!
Lakitu: No you're not. Shut up and go away.
Anti Guy: Guuuuuuuuuuuys...
Anti Guy: Help me get the machete down!
Everyone except Anti Guy: No.
Anti Guy: I hate you all...
Crystal King: So, uh, what'd we win again?
Fawful: Matches full of flaming furry and waterproofness!
Crystal King: Matches? But don't we-
Bowser: Yes, yes, we already have fire!
But at least we have the satisfaction of knowing that everyone at
Tribe Lavalava is freezing!
Geno: I'm freezing!
Jinx: I think we all are...
Luigi: How can it be this cold on a tropical island?
Toad: Well, it is the middle of the night...
Geno: Middle of the night? We need fire? Hmmmm...
Jinx: What are you thinking?
Mario: I can't think!
Geno: I'm thinking we play a little game of "Steal the Matches from the Other Tribe"!
Chancellor: Good gracious, man! We can't do that! We're the good guys!
Yoshi: Yoshi cold. Yoshi give up "Good Guy" title for some matches.
Jinx: As will I.
Geno: Fine, then. It's settled. Yoshi, Jinx and I will go get the matches from the other tribe.
Toad: Do you know the way?
Geno: Um... We'll manage.
Chancellor: Well, good luck then.
Geno: Day 5? What? It's not Day 5 yet! It's still the middle of the night!
Jinx: Well, theoretically it is, 'cause a new day starts at a minute after midnight, and I think it's past that.
Geno: Wise guy.
Yoshi: Geno and Jinx shut up. Yoshi think we're close.
Jinx: Oh yeah? Well, how can you tell that?
Yoshi motions toward the nearest tree, where Anti Guy is perched, untying Tribe Yoshi's machete.
Anti Guy: Ha ha! I got it at last!
Yoshi, Geno, and Jinx: O.O
Anti Guy: Now who to use it on?
Geno: ... Run.
Yoshi, Geno, and Jinx run away, screaming
loudly. Anti Guy glances in their direction with a confused look
while the rest of Tribe Yoshi wakes up.
Bowser: *rubs eyes* Hey, is that Anti Guy over there? What's he-
Bowyer: Machete he has.
Bowser: He has the- OH NO!!! AAAAAAAAAH!!!
Bowser runs away. Anti Guy is hot on his heels, swinging the machete.
Crystal King: So much for getting any sleep... again.
The rest of Tribe Yoshi watch as Bowser
weaves through the island plant life, trying to avoid Anti Guy. They
are mildly amused.
King Boo: Wait... Who is that snoring?
Fawful: Fawful is thinking that it is Doopliss.
Crystal King: How can he sleep at a time like this?
King Boo: No idea. Uh, here comes Bowser.
Bowser: (breathing heavily) Doopliss... is still *huff* asleep?
Bowyer: Sleeping he is, yes.
Bowser: Wuahahahah- *huff* ahahahahah- *huff* ha!
Bowser runs over to Doopliss and wakes him up.
Doopliss: Wha- Bowser? What's-
Bowser: No time to explain! You've got to hurry!
Doopliss: Uh, why? What's wrong?
Bowser: I already told you! No time to explain! You just gotta transform into me!
Doopliss: Uh, why?
Bowser: JUST DO IT.
Doopliss morphs into Bowser.
Doopliss: Okay, okay! Happy now!
Bowser: Oh yeah!
Bowser runs away.
Doopliss: Um... Right, well, hi guys.
Crystal King: Why'd you change into Bowser?
Doopliss: No idea. Say, where's Anti Guy at, anyway?
King Boo: Hunting Bowser.
Doopliss: Oh, okay.
Doopliss runs away.
King Boo: *slaps self* I'm going to sleep...
Bowyer, Speach-Impaired Bow: Insane I think we are.
Toad: Well? Did you get 'em?
Jinx: No! That crazy Anti Guy was going to slaughter us with a machete!
Luigi: Wow. If I were there I probably would've wet my pants.
Geno: No, really?
Luigi: Shut up, jerk!
Geno: You're the jerk, jerk!
Geno, Star Road Protector: Luigi, that jerk! I'm going to form an alliance to vote him out!
Luigi, Ghost Buster: Geno, that jerk! I'm going to form an alliance to vote him out!
Toad, Hyperactive Fungus: Those two!
That argument drove me bonkers! If they don't quit it, I'm going to
form an alliance to vote both of them out.
Mario, Demented Plumber: I spleen New York!
Anti Guy: Heeeeeeeelp meeeeeeeeee!
Bowser, Koopa King: Not only is Anti Guy a jerk, but he's annoying too! I can't wait to vote that guy out!
Crystal King: What is he whining about now?
Fawful: Like the dirt of wrath, we retied the machete to another tree!
Crystal King: Ah.
Doopliss: You know what? I'm sick of eating coconuts all the time! Ever since I got pelted with them at that last Reward Challenge, I've grown sick of them!
King Boo: Yeah, well, I don't think there are any other sources of food out here.
Bowser: Oh yeah? There's a great big ocean out there just waiting for us!
King Boo: Yeah? So?
Bowser: We could fish, of course!
Crystal King: With what?
Bowser: Um... stuff.
Doopliss: Certainly not the machete...
Anti Guy: Help me!
Bowser: Well, duh.
King Boo: Wouldn't we be better off
waiting until we get the fishing stuff in one of the next Reward
Doopliss: Maybe... But who says we're gonna win?
Bowyer: Win we will! Won all of the other challenges we have!
King Boo: Actually, we tied once...
Bowser: Besides, it's worth a shot...
Rawk Hawk: Exactly! So let's RAAAAAAAWK on!
King Boo: Uh, where'd you come from?
Rawk Hawk: No idea.
Crystal King: This is going nowhere. Why don't we just go fishing?
Anti Guy: NEVER!!!
Bowser: Shut up!
Anti Guy: NEVER!!! I hate you all!
Bowser: *sigh* Right then. Who wants to go fishing with me?
Doopliss: I'll go.
Bowyer: Go I will.
Bowser: So just Doopliss?
Anti Guy: Bowyer said he'd go, moron.
Bowser: Stop insulting me!
Anti Guy: NEVER!!!
Bowser: Never mind. Let's go.
The Ocean Somewhere
Bowser, Doopliss, and Bowyer are sitting on a raft holding rocks.
Bowser: There's one!
Bowser throws his rock at a fish in the water, but simply creates a large splash that soaks everybody.
Bowser: Come on, guys! You at least have to try!
Bowyer: Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.
Bowser: Um, what?
Doopliss: It's from Star Wars, brain boy!
Bowser: Quiet, you!
Bowser breathes fire at Doopliss, who dodges. The raft is set on fire.
Doopliss: Way to go, moron! Now we'll be stuck in the middle of the ocean somewhere!
Bowser: If you hadn't- Why I oughta-
Bowyer: Long day this will be...
Crystal King: I wonder what happened to those guys...
Anti Guy: Who cares? I hate them all!
KIng Boo: We know, we know.
Geno: Snot face!
Luigi: Stink head!
Toad: Geez you guys, shut up! I'm tired of you arguing all the time!
Geno: (whispering) Blubber bottom!
Luigi: (whispering) Weirdo!
Toad: I HEARD that!
Jinx, Dojo Master: My tribe is insane. I think I'm going to go hide somewhere.
Chancellor, Chancellor: Take me with you!
Jinx: Hey! You aren't supposed to listening to my camera chats!
Chancellor: Oh. Uh, sorry.
Geno: Slime ball!
Luigi: Meat head!
Toad: Shut up!
Mario: Oooooooooh... banana!
Jinx: Help me...
Anti Guy: I neeeeeeeed the macheteeeeeeeeee!
Crystal King: Playing the part of Bowser since he's gone... Shut UP!
King Boo: We got tree mail!
Fawful: Most excellent.
Crystal King: Hold on. We can't go to the challenge without the full group, can we?
King Boo: I'm... not sure.
Fawful: Like a group of intellectual mustard seeds... we will find them.
King Boo: I don't think there's time. The mail said for us to leave right away.
Crystal King: Uh oh. Now what do we do?
Anti Guy: HEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Rawk Hawk: FEEEEEEEEL THE RAAAAAAAAAAAWK!
King Boo: Good DAD. Let's just go!
Lakitu: C'mon in, guys!
The two tribes file in onto the mats.
Lakitu: Okay, so- Wait. Hold up. Tribe Yoshi, where are the rest of your members?
King Boo: No idea.
Lakitu: Uh, what? You don't know?
Crystal King: Yes sir.
Lakitu: Um... how- Well... I...
Geno: Does that mean we automatically win?
Lakitu: Uh, no. I'm going to have to send a helicopter out to find the rest of Tribe Yoshi.
Lakitu: What am I-
Lakitu: *sigh* Right then. Now that our brains are in sufficient pain, let's wait for the helicopter!
The Ocean Somewhere
Bowyer: Stinks this does.
Bowser: No kidding. I mean, what? I can't understand you...
Doopliss: My sheet's wet. Wait... That didn't come out right...
Bowser: Gwaha! Doopliss is a bed-wetter!
Doopliss: Am not!
Bowser: Are too!
Bowyer: Look you should! Above us helicopter is!
Doopliss: AM NOT.
Bowser: ARE TOO.
Anti Guy: Can we start already?
Lakitu: Yeah, I guess we'll have to. The chopper is taking too long.
Crystal King: But then... won't the teams be unfair?
Lakitu: No. Tribe Lavalava will just have to exclude two people from the challenge.
Jinx: We choose Toad and Mario.
Toad: What? Why I never!
Lakitu: Great! Now here's how the challenge works...
While Lakitu explains, the camera shows a wooden board floating in the water alongside a giant circular mass that looks very similar to a target. The center circle is red in color and has the number 5 written on it, the ring surrounding it is blue in color and has the number 2 labeling it, and the outer ring is red in color and is worth 1 point.
Lakitu: The challenge is simple. Each tribe member will get a large plastic ball. The tribes will take turns throwing their balls on the target. If your ball lands on one of the labeled areas, which it will 'cause the entire thing is labeled, your team scores that many points. HOWEVER, the scoring will take place AFTER everyone has thrown. The tribe that has the most points at the end wins! Got it? Good! Let's head out to the floating wooden board!
The participating members magically
transport out to the board via camera cuts. Lakitu is floating beside
Lakitu: Survivors ready... Go!
King Boo: Wait, wait. Who goes first?
Lakitu: You. Thanks for asking.
King Boo: Bleh.
King Boo throws his ball. The ball lands on the right part of the yellow ring.
King Boo: Not bad.
Lakitu: Luigi. Throw.
Luigi throws and misses the target completely.
Geno: Ha! What a loser!
Lakitu: Anti Guy. Throw.
Anti Guy throws and also lands on the yellow ring.
Anti Guy: 'Salright.
Lakitu: Yoshi. Throw.
Yoshi throws and overshoots, missing the target. He growls.
Lakitu: Rawk Hawk. Throw.
Rawk Hawk throws, but loses his grip on the ball while doing so. The ball flies high into the air and lands on the very edge of the target, tipping it and causing all the balls to roll off.
Anti Guy: You complete idiot! Look what you ###### did you ##### ####! #####!!!
Lakitu: ... Geno. Throw.
Geno throws and gets his ball in the middle circle.
Geno: Yes, oh yes! I da MAN!
Lakitu: Fawful. Throw.
Fawful throws and misses the target.
Fawful: I have sadness...
Lakitu: Chancellor. Throw.
Chancellor throws and can't make the target.
Chancellor: Oh dear.
Lakitu: Crystal King, you're the last Tribe Yoshi member. No pressure or anything. Throw.
Crystal King throws. He barely makes the target, landing his ball on the outer ring.
Tribe Yoshi: No!
Lakitu: Okay. So Tribe Lavalava basically wins.
Jinx: Well I still have to throw!
Lakitu: Well, yeah. Jinx. Throw.
Geno: Miss on purpose, Jinx! We don't wanna risk hitting out balls off.
Doopliss: Am not!
Bowser: Are too!
Bowyer: Be quiet you should! Nearing the challenge we are!
Doopliss: AM NOT!
Bowser: ARE TOO!
Doopliss: Am not infinity! Ha!
Bowser: Dang it!
Bowser blows fire at Doopliss, who dodges. The fire catches the chopper on fire and eventually blows it up.
Doopliss: Oh, way to go, genius!
Bowser: Hey, this is your fault!
Doopliss: Is not!
Bowser: Is too!
Doopliss: IS NOOOOOOOOOT!!!
Just as Jinx throws his ball, the flaming helicopter comes crashing in and blows up the floating target.
Lakitu: Um... What just a happened?
King Boo: (hopefully) A tie, perhaps?
Lakitu: Um... yes. It does appear to be a tie.
Yoshi: Yoshi think that that not fair!
Lakitu: Life's not fair, buddy. Sorry.
Anti Guy: Oooooh no no no. We are NOT starting that again.
Geno: Shut up, jerk!
Anti Guy: You little-
Anti Guy: I oughta-
Anti Guy launches toward Geno and slugs him the face, sending him flying into the water.
Jinx: Hey! You can't atack our tribemates like that! BOMBS AWAY!
Voice: Monster's FP is gone!
Jinx: DANG IT.
Anti Guy: Ha ha.
Jinx punches Anti Guy, who also flies into the water.
Lakitu: Aha! Excellent idea! The tribe with the last member standing after this fight wins immunity!
Bowser: Gwahahahahahaha! Easy!
Bowser lights the board on fire, which turns to ash and sinks in the water. King Boo and Lakitu are the only ones who aren't in the water. ('Cause they canfly. Duh.)
Lakitu: Tribe Yoshi wins immunity!
Toad: Say WHAT?
Lakitu: King Boo is the last man standing.
Toad: But he's floating!
Lakitu: So? Just shut up and go away.
Both tribes leave while dramatic music
plays. Tribe Yoshi celebrates as Tribe Lavalava slumps off in
Geno, Star Road Protector: Here's how it works; I round up a group of three to vote Luigi, and POW! No more leaky plumber.
Luigi, Ghost Buster: Geno should have thought twice before messing with me! Fwahahahahahahaha...
Jinx, Dojo Master: Geno the Chancellor
and I have formed sort of a "Super Mario RPG Character Alliance"
in hopes of ousting Luigi. Now all we need is one person to be the swing vote...
Mario, Demented Plumber: Nutty fruit pies!
Jinx, Dojo Master: Well, I guess it won't be him...
Toad: Hey! Stop listening to other people's camera chats!
Jinx: Well you just did to me, Mushroom boy!
Toad, Hyperactive Fungus: Mushroom boy?
The seven members of Tribe Lavalava
walk into the Tribal Council area all solemn-like and take a seat
around the fire.
Lakitu: Welcome back, guys. Good to have you.
Mario: Great to be back, Lakitu!
Lakitu: I thought so. So, Chancellor, how does it feel to be here for the second straight time?
Chancellor: It feels rather drab, to tell you the truth.
Lakitu: Of course, of course. Yoshi, do you think these losses are causing your tribe to lose moral?
Yoshi: Um, yes?
Lakitu: Indeed. So, Luigi, at this point of the game, what strategy do you have behind your voting?
Luigi: Well, I think we vote for the guy that ticks us off the most.
Lakitu: An honest answer. So, Toad,
why is it that this questioning session of Tribal is going so much
smoother than last time?
Toad: Because Mallow the Psycho isn't and here, and you haven't asked Mario a question.
Lakitu: Hm. Well, yeah. Anyway, go vote.
Luigi (to camera): My vote's going to Geno, 'cause I hate him.
Geno (to camera): My vote's for Luigi, 'cause I hate him. And he's a jerk.
Lakitu: Once the votes are read, the decision is final, and the person will be asked to leave the Tribal Council Area immediately. I'll tally the votes.
Lakitu: The first vote goes to... Luigi. That's one vote Luigi.
Toad: *smacks self again* Is he ALWAYS going to do that?
Lakitu: Second vote... Geno. That's one vote Geno, one vote Luigi.
Lakitu: The third vote... Luigi. That's one vote Geno, two votes Luigi.
Geno: (Ha! My alliance is holding strong!)
Lakitu: Fourth vote... Luigi. That's one Geno, three Luigi.
Geno: (Heh heh heh...)
Lakitu: Fifth vote...
The screechy dramatic music begins to play.
Geno: Ha! HA! That means I win! The screechy dramatic music never plays unless someone is about to be voted out!
Lakitu: ... Geno. That's two Geno, three Luigi.
Lakitu: The sixth vote... Geno. It's tied at three.
Lakitu: The seventh and final vote is...
Luigi is shown, sweating heavily. Geno is shown, sweating heavily... somehow, even though he's a possessed doll.
Lakitu: Fine, fine. The seventh vote is...
Lakitu: Susan. Wait, Susan? Are you serious? First of all, that isn't funny. Secondly, Susan isn't even in this show. Thirdly, taking jokes from other stories is incredibly lame and stupid. Fourthly, I know this is you, Mario, so go pick someone else.
Lakitu: I'll read the vote. The second person voted out of Survivor Lavalava Island is...
Lakitu: Lakitu? What the- Mario, for the love of DAD, pick someone on your tribe so we can end this!
Lakitu: *ahem* I'll read the vote... again. The second person voted out of Survivor Lavalava Island is...
Toad: Say, what? I'm not voted out! I only got one vote!
Lakitu: Oh. Er. Right. Mario, you knucklehead,
you were supposed to vote for either Luigi or Geno! Now we
have to do the stupid tiebreaker thing...
Lakitu: No, not "yippee", you dunce,
I want to get this over with! Anyway, as part of the stupid tiebreaker
procedure, both Luigi and Geno have to give a speech, telling the other members why they shouldn't go. Then everyone other then tham revotes. Now. Go. Hurry. Give speeches.
Geno: Luigi should go 'cause he has a bladder issue, and he's an idiot!
Luigi: Geno should go 'cause he calls everyone jerks and he's a jerk himself!
Jinx: Way to be a hypocrite, egghead.
Mario: What's that mean?
Lakitu: That means it's time to vote. Go. Hurry. Now.
Lakitu: Right, well I'm losing my voice here, so if I sound a bit raspy, blame it on Mario the Moron.
Mario: It's-a me!
Lakitu: First vote... Luigi. That's-
Toad: One vote Luigi.
Lakitu: Exactly. Second vote... Luigi. That's two votes Luigi.
Lakitu: Now reading the third vote.
Lakitu stares at it while the dramatic screechy music begins to play.
Geno: Ha! Victory is-
Lakitu: Just kidding. The third vote's Geno.
Lakitu: The fourth vote... Geno. That's two votes apiece.
Lakitu: The second person voted out of Survivor Lavalava Island is... *cough, hack, rasp*
Toad: No! He lost his voice!
Lakitu: ...! ...? ...!!!!???!!!
Jinx: Just show us the vote.
Lakitu shows them a vote that reads
"Mallow". Everyone falls to the ground anime style. Lakitu floats toward
Mario and pushes him towards the voting area. Mario returns, and Lakitu collects the vote. He pulls the
vote out of the jar and stares at it. He smiles broadly and shows everyone a vote that reads "Geno".
Geno: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! Jerks! You're all jerks! JEEEEEEEER-
Lakitu clobbers Geno with a Spiny and grabs his torch. He quickly extinguishes it with the groovy snuffer thingie and hurls Geno away from the Tribal Council area. He then turns to the remaining tribe members and points his arm toward the exit. Everyone shoots him a confused look and stays stationary. Lakitu mouths several naughty curse words and flies away.
Jinx: Um... what?
Who Voted Who:
Mario: Susan, Lakitu, Toad, Mallow,
Luigi: Geno, Geno
Yoshi: Geno, Geno
Toad: Geno, Geno
Geno: Luigi, Luigi
Chancellor: Luigi, Luigi
Jinx: Luigi, Luigi
Geno (to camera): I'd like to point out that every one of my tribemates are complete jerks. Jerky, jerky jerk jerk jerkedy JERKS. Thank you.