Survivor 4: Lavalava Island

By Din

Day 7

Tribe Yoshi

Anti Guy: Pst. Hey, Bowser. Come over here.

Bowser: *leans toward Anti Guy* (whispering) What?


Bowser leaps back, massaging his ears.

Bowser: You twit!


Doopliss: ... Ow...

Bowser: Oh yeah. Here it comes, you little pest!

Bowser shoots fire at Anti Guy, but misses for, like, the fiftieth time, setting a nearby coconut tree on fire.

King Boo: What the?

Bowyer: Quick we must be! Provide food those trees do!

Bowser: We gotta hurry and put those trees out! It's our only source of food!

Anti Guy: Bowyer just said that, idiot.

Bowser attacks and misses again, lighting another tree on fire.

Crystal King: Stop lighting things on fire!

Bowser: Well, I'm being provoked!

Crystal King: I don't care if you hurt Anti Guy, just use your claws or something!

Bowser claws at Anti Guy and misses. The friction of his claws on the sand create a spark, which flies
toward another coconut tree and lights it on fire.

Bowser: Dang it!

Fawful: Quite fiery you are.

Bowser: Oh, shut up!

Bowser attacks, lighting more things on fire.

Crystal King: Uh oh... That last tree you lit on fire is the one the machete is tied to...

Bowser: ROAR!!! OH NO!!!

Anti Guy: Muahahahahahaha! Prepare to be sliced like mushroom pizza!


Bowser runs away.

King Boo: Gee... Things sure are repetitive around here...

Tribe Lavalava

Luigi: Ha! Ha! HA! Take that, Jinx and Chancellor! We PWNED you!

Toad: Pwned?

Jinx: YOU didn't pwn us, idiot. MARIO pwned us!

Mario: I gots-a major PWNage!

Yoshi: Yoshi no think so...

Chancellor: Quiet yourselves for a moment, would you?

Luigi: Why?

Chancellor: I think it's raining...

Toad: Oh NO! We don't have a shelter...

Jinx: What?! Why not! It's Day 7!

Luigi: Oh, sure. Blame us.

Jinx: I'm not blaming anyone, I'm just saying-

Toad: Yeah... YEAH. You ARE blaming us!

Jinx: No, I'm-

Luigi: Yes you are, you liar! Admit it!

Jinx: *sigh* You guys are insane...

Yoshi: Yoshi think so too...

Toad: *gasp* WHAT did you say?!

Luigi: He insulted us, that's what! Yoshi, are you abandoning your alliance with us?

Chancellor: Alliance? What...?

Toad: Oh, grow up, Chancellor! Wasn't it obvious that we were alligned?

Chancellor: It is now, I suppose...

Luigi: Darn right! Okay Yoshi, we need to talk!

Yoshi: Um, okay...

Jinx: *double sigh* I think I'm going to go cry now...

Yoshi, Toad, and Luigi

Luigi: Admit it, dinobrain! You're going to backstab us, aren't you? AREN'T YOU?!

Toad: Yeah! Admit it!

Yoshi: Yoshi think you guys are crazy.

Luigi: Ha! HA! He IS admitting it!

Toad: Yeah! He is!

Yoshi: Yoshi is not! Yoshi still with you guys, but you both need to calm down. You give Yoshi headache.

Luigi: Pah! You're just deceiving us, aren't you?!

Toad: Yeah, he is!

Yoshi: Yoshi is not!

Luigi: Are too!

Toad: Yeah! You are too!

Yoshi, Food Tester: Yoshi need to lie down...

Tribe Yoshi

Bowser, Koopa King: I think I just lost 50 pounds... *gasp* I'm exhausted... but happy! We've re-hidden the
machete! Crystal King snatched it from Anti Guy and hid it in the sand! *wheeze* He'll never find it!

Anti Guy: You're all jerks, you know that?

Doopliss: Yes, yes...

Anti Guy, Pessimistic Shyster: My tribe stinks.

Crystal King: You know, someone oughta put out that fire that's burning down our only source of food...

King Boo: I would, but... there's no time!

Fawful: Why so, brown cow?

King Boo hits himself in the face, rolling his eyes.

Bowyer: Tree Mail we have. That is why go we must.

Bowser: What's Tree Mail? And what did he just say?

Anti Guy: Hey, moron to the thirteenth power! We're leaving now!

Bowser: Why you little!

Reward Challenge

Lakitu waves for everyone to come in. Both tribes enter and stand on their respective mats. Lakitu waves, and the Survivors stare blankly at him. Lakitu rolls his eyes.

Jinx: Oh. Right. I guess his voice is still out, eh?

Doopliss: When did he lose his voice?

Jinx: Never mind...

Lakitu nods and gives Doopliss the thumbs up. He then motions to his left, where a large, open patch of sand exists. The camera zooms and swerves around it, trying to make it look interesting. The camera then goes back to showing Lakitu, who explains the rules in sign language. Everyone stares blankly once more.

Jinx: Um... Anyone know sign language?

King Boo waves his fin/hand things at Jinx.

King Boo: You think I do?

Jinx: Wise guy...

Toad: Anyone else?

Fawful: Like a knowledgeable book or worms, Fawful does indeed!

Bowser: ... Anyone else?

Crickets: Chirp.

Bowser: Dang it!

Fawful: Allow myself to explain. In the sand over there, which is very gritty and possess sand-like features, both tribes, like wicked falcons of truth, must craft a steadfast castle, like ancestral coconuts of yore. Be swift must they, for there is a time limit of a mind-boggling four-hundred and thirty-five seconds!

Crystal King: Eh? Why four-hundred and thirty-five seconds?

Fawful: It is a perhapsity that I, Fawful, am mistaken.

Luigi: I think you are.

Fawful: Yes, in a truthful actuality, it is a mere half-hour!

King Boo: That's... a lot more then four-hundred and thirty five seconds.

Fawful: This is true... the graces of flowing creek beds.

Bowser: Awesome. Then what do we do?

Fawful: Once time is no longer of the essence, the Lakituish host of the three-stranded-hair will drop a single Spiny on top the castles. The team whose castle survives this vicious onslaught is declared the fresh parsley-like taste of victory!

Jinx: Deranged metaphors aside, I think I understand.

Toad: Did he explain correctly, Lakitu? We don't honestly have to build a sand castle, do we?

Lakitu nods and raises both hands. He looks to Jinx for help.

Jinx: Oh. Um... Survivors ready...? G-

King Boo: Hold it. We don't know what the reward is, first off, and second, who's sitting out for our team?

Lakitu holds up a large fishing kit and points toward it. He then points toward Rawk Hawk and King Boo, and does a slicing motion across his neck.

Rawk Hawk: Oh my DAD!!! His gonna kill us!!! Just like Anti Guy!!!

King Boo: No he's not... we're just sitting out. *sigh*

Lakitu nods toward Jinx again and raises his hands.

Jinx: For reward! Survivors ready...? Go!

The Survivors hurry out to their separate sand areas.

Tribe Yoshi

Bowser: Someone start digging!

Anti Guy: Why don't you do it?

Bowser: Hey, I'm the leader here, okay?

Anti Guy: No you're not. I think I am.

Bowser: You?! Ha! Don't make me laugh!

Anti Guy: How 'bout I make you CRY instead?

Bowser: You're nothing without your machete! NOTHING!

Anti Guy beats the stuffing out of Bowser.

Anti Guy: Okay then. Someone start digging!

Tribe Lavalava

Mario wonders off.

Toad: Where's he going?

Jinx: Who cares? Let's start this thing!

Luigi: How should we begin?

Yoshi: Yoshi think we should dig.

Jinx: Sounds good. C'mon everyone!

Luigi: What good will digging do?

Toad: Yeah! What good will it do?

Jinx, Dojo Master: That is getting REALLY annoying...

Luigi: Jinx, you twit! Why are you getting interviewed during a challenge?! Come help us!

Toad: Yeah! Help us!


Voice: Monster's FP is gone!

Luigi: Wahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Toad: Yeah! Wahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Jinx: Is it too late to quit?

Yoshi: Lazy tribe should help Yoshi!

Luigi: Never!

Toad: Yeah! Never!

Toad and Luigi high-five, giggle, and prance away.

Chancellor: Oh dear...

Jinx: You have GOT to be kidding me...

Tribe Yoshi

Lakitu shows both tribes ten fingers.

Rawk Hawk: Oh no! They have only ten seconds!

King Boo: Minutes! They have ten MINUTES!

Rawk Hawk: Hey... shut up! You lookin' to be RAAAAAAAAWKED?

Anti Guy: Hey, shut up over there! We're trying to concentrate!

Tribe Yoshi has a large pile of sand, but no castle.

Crystal King: Now what?

Doopliss: We gotta build the castle!

Bowyer: Idea I have! Build we should not!

Crystal King: But why?

Bowyer: Break castle would. Break mound of sand will not.

Doopliss: Hmmmm... You sure this counts as a castle?

Bowyer: Good question that is. Ask we should.

Anti Guy: Fine. Hey Lakitu! Does this-

Lakitu opens his mouth and points at it.

Anti Guy: Fawful! Watch Lakitu and translate!

Fawful is playing with driftwood, ignoring Anti Guy.

Anti Guy: FAWFUL!

Anti Guy smacks Fawful to get his attention. Fawful gets knocked out.

Anti Guy: Uh... oops.

Tribe Lavalava

Jinx: Where did those idiots go?

Yoshi: Yoshi no know.

Chancellor: I don't know either. All I know is that we have to hurry!

Jinx: You sure? The other tribe hasn't even started building their castle yet...

Chancellor: And you actually trust their judgment?

Jinx: ... Good point. Let's get this thing built!

Five minutes later, Lakitu blows a whistle and waves his hands.

King Boo: Where'd he get the whistle?

Rawk Hawk: Shudap, lest you fall victim to the RAAAAAAAAAWK!!!

King Boo, Boo King: It took a lot of internal control to keep myself from hurting Rawk Hawk. I did a good job.

Lakitu examines Tribe Yoshi's castle. He rolls his eyes and proceeds to Tribe Lavalava's without testing it. He then examines Tribe Lavalava's castle, which looks extremely tippy and frail. He floats next to it and exhales lightly, causing the entire structure to collapse.

Jinx: ... Dang.

Lakitu floats to his original spot and takes out a marker and a sheet of paper. He scribbles on the paper, and holds it up. It reads, "You stink." Lakitu then throws the paper aside and takes out the fishing kit. He turns around and hurls it into the ocean, then moodily floats away.

Doopliss: NOOOOO!!! We NEED that!

Jinx: Well we DON'T. Come on, guys.

(What's left of) Tribe Lavalava leaves. A camera shows them leaving in slow motion as dramatic music plays. Jinx makes a rude hand gesture towards the camera, and stalks off with his tribe.

King Boo: I'll get the fishing stuff. You guys just go.

With no complaints, the rest of Tribe Yoshi leaves.

Tribe Lavalava

Jinx, Yoshi, and the Chancellor return to see Mario, Luigi, and Toad sitting contentedly back at camp.

Jinx: Where did you guys run off to?

Toad: We raided the Camera Camp and stole their extra breakfast pastries.

Jinx: WHAT?! You bloody cheaters!

Luigi: Don't worry. You didn't miss much. It turns out that the camera crew people are all vegans.

Yoshi: They're... vegans?

Toad: Yeah. Vegans. Have you ever tried a vegan danish? Ugh... it's disgusting.

Chancellor: Indeed. We'll take your word for it.

Mario, Demented Plumber: *belch*

Day 8

Tribe Yoshi

Anti Guy: You know what would be nice right now?

King Boo: What?

Anti Guy: A nice, long MACHETE!

Everyone ignores him.

Doopliss: Well, since the fire took out all our coconut trees, we're going to need to fish with that fishing kit.

Crystal King: What does the kit include?

Doopliss: A bunch of line and hooks.

King Boo: Great. That means we need our own bait, correct? What are we going to use?

Bowyer: (swatting at a fly) Know I do not.

Doopliss: Wait! Bowyer! Don't swat that-

Bowyer kills the fly.

Doopliss: ... bug.

Crystal King: Don't worry. There are plenty more around...

King Boo: How are we gonna catch 'em?

Rawk HawK: Oh! Oh! Me! Me! I RAAAAAAAWK at catching stuff!

Doopliss: Great. Have fun.

Rawk Hawk dives for a fly, but misses and smashes into a charred coconut tree. The tree falls on top of him, knocking him out.

Bowyer: Knocked out another member of our tribe is...

King Boo: Are you joking? Bowser and Fawful are still out?

Doopliss: Yup.

King Boo: Geez, Anti Guy, you went all out, didn't ya?

Anti Guy: Against Bowser, sure, but I barely tapped that Fawful Guy.

Crystal King: "Barely tapped" indeed! What I saw was a headshot from point blank.

Anti Guy: Same difference...

Doopliss: Not really.

Anti Guy: Yes, really.

Doopliss: Not really.

Anti Guy: Yes-

King Boo: Quiet! We will not approve of pointless bickering! If you want to pointlessly bicker, go join Tribe Lavalava. They have experts over there.

Tribe Lavalava

Jinx: You guys stink.

Luigi: Shut up, Jinx! We do not! You're just smelly and ugly!

Toad: Yeah! Smelly and ugly!

Yoshi: Yoshi think you all should shut up.

Luigi: Ha! have we ever shuted up before?

Toad: No! Never!

Luigi: Exactly.

Jinx: Well, you should. 'Cause it's terribly irritating.

Luigi: That's what YOU think, punk.

Toad: Yeah, what-

Jinx grabs Toad and throws him as Luigi, knocking them both out.

Yoshi: Yay! You deserve prize!

Jinx: Just hearing the sound of those two colliding was reward enough. And the fact that they can no longer speak.

Chancellor: Yes, very good. It is finally peaceful around here.

Mario: Yippee! ItsameMarioitsameMarioitsameMarioitsameMarioitsameMarioitsameMario!!!

Yoshi: Chancellor speak too soon.

Jinx: Indeed.

Jinx goes for Mario, but the plumber leaps into a tree and starts laughing dementedly.

Mario: Meeheeheee! You'll get get me up here! Ha! Mwaha! Mwaahahahahahahaha!

Yoshi throws a coconut at Mario with über dodgeball skillz, and Mario is knocked out of the tree.

Jinx: Get him!

With the combined effort of Yoshi, Jinx, and the Chancellor, Mario is gagged with fern leaves and tied to a coconut tree, still conscious but unable to say anything other then  "Mumphamumpha".

Mario: Mumphamumpha!

Jinx: Oh, shut up.

Mario: Mumphamumpha...

Chancellor: This could get perturbing...

Yoshi: That true, but Yoshi think we have bigger problems.

Jinx: Why? What's going on?

Yoshi points. Several nearby trees are in flamea. A trail of charcoaled trees marks a path taken by the destructive flame.

Chancellor: Egad! That fire looks like it came from the other tribe!

Yoshi: You guys don't think...

Jinx: Feh! It's probably 'cause of that idiot Bowser! He's always lighting things on fire...

Mario: Mumphamumpha!!!

Chancellor: Oh, do be quiet!

Yoshi: What we going to do? Coconut trees are the only way Yoshi eats!

Jinx: Dang! This wouldn't be a problem if we hadn't tied that challenge and lost the fishing kit...

Chancellor: Hold on a second, my dear boy! Didn't our host throw the kit in the ocean nearby?

Yoshi: It's true. Yoshi saw him.

Mario: Mumphamumpha!!!

Jinx: So... you're saying that the kit might still be out there?

Chancellor: Most likely...


Jinx: Will you shut up for one BLOODY second?!


Chancellor: Dear DAD! Look, Jinx! The tree that he's tied to is on fire!

Yoshi: Haha. Yoshi think that funny.

Jinx: Indeed.

Chancellor: But... but...

Jinx: He'll be all right. Let's just go get some buckets or something so we can put this thing out.

Yoshi: But what about the fishing kit? How we eat?!

Jinx: We'll just steal from the other tribe or something. Plus, if we work fast enough, we may save some trees.

Chancellor: Very well, then!

Jinx, Chancellor, and Yoshi leave.


Tribe Yoshi

Anti Guy: Well, guys, I have a confession to make.

Crystal King: Hm?

Anti Guy: I really think I could use... A MACHETE.

They ignore him.

Doopliss: Does anyone who's still conscious wanna go fishing with me?

Bowser: Sure! I will!

Doopliss: Eh? Oh! Bowser! Good to see you conscious.

Bowser: *snort* Yeah, I'll bet...

Doopliss: Yeah... but see, you still can't... uh... go.

Bowser: ROAR! Why not?!

Doopliss: 'Cause you'll just accidentally light everything on fire. Duh.

Bowser growls and stomps away.

Doopliss: Er... Anyone else?

Bowyer: Go I will!

Doopliss: 'Nayone else?

Anti Guy: Apparently, ya dipwad.

Doopliss: Hmph. Well, I guess we better get going...

Bowyer: Wait... Use as fishing poles what will we?

Doopliss: Probably just some random tree branches.

Anti Guy: Reality check! All our trees are burned down!

Doopliss: So? Doesn't mean there still aren't loose branches lying around...

Bowser is seen in the background, angrily burning every loose branch in sight with his fire breath.

Doopliss: Gah! No! Wait! Hold up!

Doopliss leaves at a run. Bowyer shrugs and follows. Anti Guy glances around, making sure everyone is a
safe distance away.

Anti Guy: All right, alliance buddy. Who's going next?

King Boo: Haven't we discussed this? It's that Rawk Hawk moron. He may have some decent strength, but he's an idiot. If the other tribe didn't have Mario to counteract his dumbness, we would probably be down two members at this point.

Anti Guy: Hm. That's true.

Voice: Ah-HA!

Fawful emerges from the bushes, fully conscious.

King Boo: Uh oh...

Fawful: Nyaha! I have fury! Fawful is hearing everything you guys say! Like a swift gazelle, I will tell Bowser.

Fawful makes an attempt to leave, but is blocked by both King Boo and Anti Guy.

Anti Guy: No way, pally. You aren't going anywhere.

Fawful: What is this?! Like an angry insect, I will scream loud! BOWSER!!! THESE GUYS-

King Boo covers Fawful's mouth and gags him for a moment while Anti Guy searches his robes. King Boo
sees Bowser approaching.

King Boo: What're we gonna do?

Anti Guy: Knock him out and toss him in the bushes! We'll work out something later...

King Boo: Done.

King Boo pounds Fawful on the head and throws him the bushes. Bowser arrives a few seconds later.

Bowser: Did you guys just hear someone yell something? it kinda sounded like Fawful...

Anti Guy: Um... No, we didn't hear anything.

King Boo: Besides, Fawful is out cold, remember?

Bowser: That's true. Maybe I should go check on him...

Anti Guy: N-no! Bad idea! Real bad!

Bowser: Why?

Anti Guy: Because... er... um... because...

King Boo: Beee-cause Doopliss changed his mind. He wants you to fish with him!

Bowser: Really?

King Boo: Totally.

Bowser: I don't know... He seemed pretty mad at me for burning those branches...

King Boo: It's a all a facade. He'd really love to have you along.

Bowser: If you're sure...

Bowser leaves.

Anti Guy: Oy... That was TOO close...

King Boo: No kidding...

Tribe Lavalava

It's dusk when Yoshi, Chancellor and Jinx return. Luigi and Toad are still out cold, but Mario is nowhere to be seen. Their camp has been completely decimated by the fire.

Jinx: Okay, okay. Let's go over this again. Who originally thought that we actually HAD buckets?

Yoshi: Yoshi think it was you.

Chancellor: I second that notion.

Jinx: Yeah, well, whatever. Say... where's Mario?

Yoshi: Yoshi no know. But look at message we got from Tree Mail.

Jinx: Tree mail? Now?

Yoshi: Yeah. It says, "There has been an accident at your camp. Mario has gotten severely burned, and was
evacuated while you were gone. There will still be an Immunity Challenge though, 'cause we paid good money to set it up before hand. See you there."

Chancellor: Egad! I forgot all about Mario!

Jinx: That's right... We left him tied up to a burning tree.

Yoshi: I hope he okay...

Jinx, Chancellor and Yoshi look at each other for a moment. They then break into hysterical laughter, rolling on the ground, pounding their fists, etc.

Tribe Yoshi

Doopliss, Bowyer and Bowser return from fishing.

King Boo: Catch anything?

Doopliss: Of course not! Bowser burned everything, as usual! Thanks for telling him he could come!

King Boo: I... I did nothing of the sort!

King Boo, Boo King: This is pretty bad news. My lie about Doopliss and Bowser kind of backfired... Now everyone may want me gone. But, perhaps with a little cunning, I can get myself out of this little jam...

Day 9

Tribe Lavalava

Luigi: *yawn* Mmm... What time is it?

Jinx: Dang it.

Yoshi growls.

Chancellor: Curses!

Luigi: What? Why are you-

Jinx: Just shut up. We were hoping you'd stay unconscious so you couldn't come to the challenge.

Luigi: Well that's jerky of you...

Toad: I thought so...

Jinx: Eh? You're up too? Dang it!

Yoshi growls.

Chancellor: Curses!

Toad: What's wrong?

Luigi: Don't mind them. They 're just ignorant.

Toad: Yeah! Ignorant!

Jinx angrily grinds his teeth.

Luigi: Speaking of ignorant... where's Mario?

Jinx: Yesterday he took a one way flight to Disco Inferno.

Toad: O.o

Luigi: o.O

Jinx: You know... like "Burn Baby Burn?"

Toad: o.O

Luigi: O.o

Jinx: *sigh* Never mind. Let's just go.

Immunity Challenge

Lakitu: Come on in, guys!

The two tribes enter and stand on their mats.

King Boo: Hey! He can talk again! Thank DAD...

Toad: Hey! Their team's missing a member!

Rawk Hawk: Hey! So is theirs!

Anti Guy: Hey! Since when did you become unconscious?

Bowser: Hey! He got up right before we left!

Anti Guy: Hey! That's really unlucky!

Luigi: Hey! Isn't that against the rules?

Crystal King: Hey! Who cares?

Bowyer: Hey! Missing a member you are too!

King Boo: Hey! Rawk Hawk said that already! But he's right! Where's Mario?

Yoshi: Hey! Mario got burned and evacuated!

Bowser: Hey! Doesn't that mean this challenge is canceled?

Jinx: Hey! He's right!

Lakitu: Hey! Guys!

Survivors: Hey! What?


Survivors: ...

Lakitu: Goooood. Now listen up. Normally, yes, we would cancel this challenge. However... the producer
spent way too much money to construct this thing.

King Boo: Why didn't they save it for the next challenge, then?

Lakitu: Um... because... um...

Anti Guy: The producer's an idiot?

Lakitu: Um... yeah. (My salary is SO taking a dive for that...)

Jinx: Figures. Now tell us how this works.

Lakitu: Oh. Well, all right.

As Lakitu explains, the camera shows a relatively large body of water. Five boats are floating in the water at opposite ends. Each boat has a large cannon on it that looks as though it weighs more then the boat itself. Defying the majority of physical law, the boats are floating perfectly still and straight, and are not tipping. Amazing.

Lakitu: The challenge is simple. Five members on each tribe get into the boats. The boats are equipped with cannons. To win, your tribe must eliminate the other team by smacking their boats with cannonballs and sinking them. Easy, right? Excellent. Now, Tribe Yoshi, pick two people to sit out. Keep in mind, you can't sit the same people out in back-to-back challenges.

Crystal King: That means Rawk Hawk has to stay in...

Rawk Hawk: Oh yeah, baby! Feel the-

Anti Guy punches Rawk Hawk, whips out duct tape, and tapes Rawk Hawk's mouth shut.

King Boo: Cool. Where'd you get that?

Anti Guy: It was my luxury item...

Bowser: Right. We sit out Anti Guy and Bowyer.

Anti Guy: WHAT?! You jerk!

Bowyer: Unfair this is...

Bowser: Oh, go slit your wrist or something.

Lakitu: Ha ha. Very funny. Survivors ready...? Go!

The ten participating Survivors hurry to the boats. Bowser's automatically sinks due to his weight.

Bowser: ROAR!

Anti Guy: Idiot!

Lakitu: Bowser's out! Tribe Lavalava leads four to five!

Toad: Hahahaha! Take that!

Toad crashes into the sand and sinks.

Toad: Oooooh... man...

Anti Guy: MORON! Wahahahahahahaha!

Lakitu: Both tribes tied at four!

Rawk Hawk: Mumphamumpha! Mumph mu MUUUUUUUUUUUMPH!!!

Rawk Hawk steers his boat to the center and starts twirling in a circle, firing in a chaotic frenzy.

Luigi: AAAH!!! Get down!

Jinx: How does getting down help at all?

Luigi: Uh...

Rawk Hawk's shots sink all members of Tribe Yoshi, including himself, apart from Doopliss.


Bowser: Shut UP!

Anti Guy: NEVA!!!

Everyone sighs.

Anti Guy: What?

Luigi: Ignore him, guys! Let's take Doopliss down!

Jinx: Wait... hold up. There are two Yoshis.

Chancellor: Indeed! Doopliss must have transformed while we weren't looking!

Luigi: Dang! Which one is it!

Yoshi: Yoshi is Yoshi! Real Yoshi is Yoshi! *points to self*

Doopliss: N-no... I'M the really Yoshi! Yeah! It's me!

Luigi: It's that one!

Luigi guns down the real Yoshi.

Yoshi: You stupid.

Luigi: Sorry, sorry...

Lakitu: The score is three to one! Can Doopliss make a comeback for his team?

Jinx: No! Take this!

Jinx fires. Doopliss steers his boat to the left and avoids sinking. He fires twice, knocking Luigi and Chancellor out of the game.

Luigi: No!

Chancellor: Oh dear...

Lakitu: It's tied one to one! OMG!!! How exciting!

Jinx: EAT THIS!!!

Jinx fires. His cannon clicks, and nothing comes out.

Jinx: WHAT?! NO!

Doopliss: Ha! You're cannon's out of ammo! You're such a loser.

Doopliss fires. Another click.

Doopliss: Rats.

Jinx: I know how to deal with this... BOMBS AWAY!!!


Guy: We interrupt this program to tell you that if you do not know what is coming, you are stupid. Thank you.


Voice: Monster's FP is gone!

Anti Guy: *snort* Duh...

Doopliss: Great! Now what?

Jinx: Here's what!

Jinx launches his boat at Doopliss, knocking it into the air and out of the water arena.

Lakitu: Tribe Lavalava wins immunity!


Dramatic music plays. Tribe Lavalava leaves happy. Tribe Yoshi is all sad and stuff.

Tribe Yoshi

Crystal King, King of Crystals: Well, we finally lost. Can't say I didn't see this coming... we were bound to lose once. Especially now that Mario's gone and we still have Rawk Hawk.

Bowser, Koopa King: Well, Fawful woke up. I want to know what he has to say, but... someone duct taped his mouth shut. I tried to take it off, but... I can't. There are, like, a bagillion pieces stuck on there...

Anti Guy, Pessimistic Shyster: With Fawful totally gagged, there's no way of Bowser or anyone else knowing what King Boo and I are up to. 'Course, you know what THAT means.

Doopliss, Identity Thief: Man, there are a LOT of different plans on who to vote off flying around right now. I can't decide who to go with...

Rawk Hawk, Moronic Wrestler: Someone's about to feel the RAAAAAAAAWK!!!

King Boo, Boo King: Meheheheheheh... It's going to be quite an interesting show tonight...

Fawful, Green-Faced Toady: Mumphamumpha!!!

Tribal Council

Tribe Yoshi arrives.

Lakitu: Well, well. It's about time this tribe showed up. Now, grab a torch and dip it in. Remember, in the
game of Survivor, fire represents life. If your fire goes out, so do you.

Awkward silence...

Lakitu: *ahem* Well, I'm gonna make this quick, 'cause I don't wanna lose my voice. So... speaking of fire, it seems you guys are having trouble with it.

Doopliss: Oh yeah! Bowser keeps lighting things on fire! It's taken out the whole island! And the fishing kit! AND EVERYTHING!!!


Doopliss: It's true.

Lakitu: Indeed. This poses a large problem... How are you going to eat?

Crystal King: ... No idea.

Anti Guy: Aye.

Lakitu: Aren't you a BIT worried? You have... thirty-three days left.

Bowyer: Think of something we will.

Lakitu: Right. Final question: Fawful, why is your mouth duct taped shut?

Fawful: Mumphamumpha!!

Lakitu: I see. Well, it's time to vote. Bowser, you're up.

Bowser votes. The vote shows Doopliss' name.

Bowser (to camera): I burn everything, huh? Well now I'm burning you!

King Boo votes.

King Boo (to camera): Totally strategy based. I really wish I could take out someone else, though.

Anti Guy votes.

Bowyer votes.

Rawk Hawk votes.

Fawful votes.

Fawful (to camera): Mumphamumpha!

Doopliss votes. It shows Bowser's name.

Doopliss (to camera): Stop burning things!

Crystal King votes.

Lakitu: I'll tally the votes...

Lakitu gets the votes and returns.

Lakitu: Once the votes are read the decision is final. The person voted out will be asked to leave the Tribal
Council area immediately. I'll read the votes...

Lakitu: First vote... Doopliss. That's one vote Doopliss.

Everyone sighs.

Lakitu: Second vote... Fawful. One Doopliss, one Fawful.

Lakitu: Third vote... Fawful. One Doopliss, two Fawful.

Lakitu: Fourth vote... Anti Guy. One Doop- oh, forget it.

Lakitu: Fifth vote... Rawk Hawk.

Lakitu: Sixth vote... Anti Guy.

Lakitu: Seventh vote... Bowser.

Lakitu: ...

Lakitu: ...

Lakitu: ...

Bowser: STOP IT!!!

Lakitu: The third... er, fourth person voted out of Survivor Lavalava is...

Lakitu: Fawful. Fawful, bring me your torch.

Fawful does so. it is extinguished via über awesome snuffer.

Lakitu: It's time for you to go.

Fawful leaves.

Lakitu: Well... That was really random. Apparently there's some sort of three-person alliance out there, but the rest of you appear unorganized. See ya later.

Tribe Yoshi leaves with dramatic music playing loudly in the background.

Who Voted Who:

Bowser: Doopliss
King Boo: Fawful
Anti Guy: Fawful
Bowyer: Rawk Hawk
Rawk Hawk: Anti Guy
Fawful: Anti Guy
Doopliss: Bowser
Crystal King: Fawful

Fawful (to camera): Mumphamumpha!

Read on!

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