Mario's Status: Level 2, 20 XP
HP: 15/15
NP: 12/12
SP: 2
Attacks:
Jump - 1+1 damage
Hammer - 1-2 damage
Punch - 1-2 damage and can disarm enemies,
steal items; gets critical hits more often
Special:
Super Jump - 2 NP - Jump damage + 2
or 3 rarely
Super Smash - 2 NP - Hammer damage
+ 2 and rare dizzy effect
Multi-Jump - 4 NP - Jump damage + (action
commands x 1)
Smash:
Summon Brother - 1 SP - Summons Luigi
until battle ends or he loses all HP
Talent: Popularity haggling (use manually
in shops)
Inventory: 263 coins, floppy disk,
2 Mushrooms, 2 Syrups, 2 1-Up Shrooms.
Goomba King’s Status: Level 2, 20XP
HP: 20/20
NP: 8/8
Attacks:
Stomp - 1-2 damage, penetrates damaging
enemy defenses.
Special: Lecture - 1NP - identifies
enemies.
Okay, the author lied a bit when he said Mario entered the castle. He is currently discussing things outside the castle. Sorry for any confusion this may have caused (even though I didn’t even describe the inside yet!).
Mario: Now why hasn’t anyone in the first place challenged the UE?
G&W: Let’s say that not even I knew where his headquarters exactly were. Even if we knew the location of his headquarters, you never really know precisely where he is although he always strikes at anyone in the situation of losing a life.
Mario: Does he even exist in our dimension?
G&W: Of course he does. He is also programmed into all stretches of cyberspace. His plan, for the fourth time, is to recreate the universe to his desires and to enslave everyone that previously existed (except for those as evil as him) so that he can live in what he views is the point of life. He couldn’t fulfill the plan immediately since the gods carefully bound his power. He has now taken enough lives to break the bonds. He likes changes and he also likes suffering. The worst part is when we are enslaved, we will be totally conscious of it. When I said he would destroy our souls, he also planned to bring us back in his new universe with us aware that we died. The intent is torturing us to relive the previous nightmare under enslavement. If suicide was the intention, he will force the message over and over again through you although he will painstakingly keep you alive.
Mario: Hey! Even Bowser would hate this guy! Why doesn’t he?
Goomba King: Did it occur to you that the UE is nearly omnipotent? He is clever enough to trick Bowser and a few not-so-evil-or-clever villains into helping him before he enslaves them.
Koopa: Halt, who goes there? If you are Mario, you must die.
Battle Phase: Mario, Goomba King vs.
Koopa x2, Spike Goomba x2
Player Start!
Mario
HP: 15/15
NP: 12/12
SP: 2
Move: Summon Brother – 1SP
Brings Luigi into battle until battle
ends or he loses all HP
Luigi: This should be easy.
HP: 15/15
NP: 12/12
SP: 1
Move: Jump – Attack power 1+1
Hits action command
Koopa1 flips and takes 1 damage.
Goomba King: Nice, let me explain…
HP: 20/20
NP: 8/8
SP: 1
Move: Lecture – 1NP, identifies enemies
Mario, just in case you forgot, these
turtles that like to steal Men In Black sunglasses and wear them, too,have
5 HP, 2 Attack, and 1 Defense. If you shake the ground or jump on their
heads, they flip, over causing them to forfeit one turn in a state where
they can’t move and have 0 Defense. So what are you waiting for? Jump!
Enemy Start!
Koopa1: Nuts!
HP: 4/5
Move: Flips to feet
Koopa2
HP: 5/5
Move: Shell charge – Attack power 2
Luigi counters
Koopa2 takes 1 damage
Spike Goomba1
HP: 2/2
Move: Spikebonk – Attack power 2
Goomba King blocks
No effect
Spike Goomba2
HP: 2/2
Move: Spikebonk – Attack power 2
Mario dodges
No effect
Player Start!
Mario: BOING!
HP: 15/15
NP: 12/12
SP: 1+1/20
Move: Jump – Attack power 1+1
Hits action command
Koopa2 flips and takes 1 damage
Luigi: Aw, shut up, Mario!
HP: 15/15
NP: 12/12
SP: 1+1/20
Move: Jump – Attack power 1+1
Hits action command
Koopa1 flips and takes 1 damage
Goomba King: Underlings! You don’t mess
with me!
HP: 20/20
NP: 7/8
SP: 1+1/20
Move: Stomp – Attack power 1-2, penetrates
damaging enemy defenses
Hits action command
Spike Goomba1 takes 2 damage and is
out
Enemy Start!
Koopa1: Not again!
HP: 3/5
Move: Flips to feet
Koopa2
HP: 3/5
Move: Flips to feet
Spike Goomba2: Eep!
HP: 2/2
Move: Flee - evade battle
Spike Goomba2 deserts his party and
runs away
Player Start!
Mario
HP: 15/15
NP: 12/12
SP: 1+2/20
Move: Jump – Attack power 1+1
Hits action command
LUCKY CRITICAL! Koopa1 takes 3 damage
and is out
Luigi: Wow! Lucky indeed! I guess watch
out if an enemy does that.
HP: 15/15
NP: 12/12
SP: 1+2/20
Move: Jump – Attack power 1+1
Koopa2 flips
Goomba King: Hmmmmm…
HP: 20/20
NP: 7/8
SP: 1+2/20
Move: Focus – restore 3-4 Smash points
Mario's team recovers 4 additional
Smash points
Enemy Start!
Koopa2: Aw man, stupid Koopa1!
HP: 2/5
Move: Does absolutely nothing
Player Start!
Mario: Aw, I feel sorry for him…
HP: 15/15
NP: 12/12
SP: 1+7/20
Move: Focus – restores 3-4 Smash points
Mario's team recovers 3 additional
Smash points
Luigi
HP: 15/15
NP: 12/12
SP: 1+10/20
Move: Focus – restores 3-4 Smash points
Mario's team recovers 4 additional
Smash points
Goomba King: LET’S END THIS NOW!!!
HP: 20/20
NP: 12/12
SP: 1+14/20
Move: Stomp – Attack power 1-2, penetrates
damaging enemy defenses
Hits action command
Koopa2 takes 2 damage and is out
G&W: Good job! You win 10XP and 5 coins from this battle.
Mario: If-a I am correct-a, both of-a us are at Level 2, have-a 30XP, and are carrying 268 coins, the floppy disk, 2 Mushrooms, 2 Syrups, and 2 1-Up Shrooms. What do my items do anyway?
Luigi: Forgotten so soon? Mushrooms restore 5 HP while Syrup restores 5 NP. 1-Up Shrooms fully heal everything, including NP and SP, and can be also used on downed party members.
Mario: Well, I didn’t see 1-Up Shrooms in my diary entries of Paper Mario!
Luigi: Well I did.
Mario: Rrrraaaarrrr!!!
Luigi: Mamamia! Don’t forget that I saw your footprint in my diary room!
Goomba King: Let’s stop arguing so we can assault Bowser’s castle!
Mario: Okeydokey!
Working together, Mario's team bashes down the castle door. Since the author is lazy, he won’t list the next battles in proper format unless there is a more challenging battle. They kill a Koopa, identify a Bob-omb - which has 3 HP, 1 Attack, 0 Defense, and can self-destruct to do 3 damage. They kill that too. Mario takes 3 damage, Goomba King uses 1NP, they recover 2 SP, and get 5 XP and 5 coins. Next, they come across a quizmaster. They miss all the questions since the Goomba King was not allowed to answer, and now they pay the price.
Battle phase: Mario, Goomba King vs
Hammer Bros. x2
Player Start!
Mario
HP: 12/15
NP: 12/12
SP: 1+16/20
Move: Summon Brother – 1 SP
Brings Luigi into battle until battle
ends or he loses all HP
Luigi
HP: 15/15
NP: 12/12
SP: 16/20
Move: Super Jump – 2 NP, Jump damage+2-3
Hits action command
Hammer Brother1 takes 3 damage
Goomba King: Ehem!
HP: 20/20
NP: 6/8
SP: 16/20
Move: Lecture – 1 NP, identifies enemies
Okay, these advanced Koopas seemed
to have discovered that the sunglasses hindered their eyesight. Without
impediments to their vision, they have discovered how to use hammers as
effective weapons. They have 8 HP, 4 Attack, and 2 Defense. The extra HP
and defense is due to their Hammer Suits, which also magically provide
an unlimited source of ammo and make them immune to fire. What if we got
one of the suits…?
Enemy Start!
Hammer Brother1
HP: 5/8
Move: Hammer Toss – Attack power 4
Goomba King counters, the hammer is
deflected
Hammer Brother1 takes 2 damage
Hammer Brother2: Woah! How did he do
that?!
HP: 8/8
Move: Hammer Blow – Attack power 4
Mario takes 4 damage
Player Start!
Mario: Ow…
HP: 8/15
NP: 12/12
SP: 17/20
Move: Super Smash – 2 NP, Hammer damage+2,
sometimes causes dizzy effect
Hits action command
Hammer Brother1 takes 2 damage
Luigi
HP: 15/15
NP: 10/12
SP: 17/20
Move: Super Smash – 2 NP, Hammer damage+2,
sometimes causes dizzy effect
Hammer Brother1 takes 1 damage and
is out
Goomba King
HP: 20/20
NP: 5/8
SP: 17/20
Move: Focus – restores 3-4 Smash points
Mario's team recovers 3 additional
Smash points
Enemy Start!
Hammer Brother2: DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!
HP: 8/8
Move: Hammer Toss - Attack power 4
LUCKY CRITICAL! Mario blocks and takes
7 damage.
Player Start!
Mario (*pant, pant, pant, pant, pant,
pant, pant, pant*)
HP: 1/15 (Peril!!!)
NP: 10/12
SP: 1
Move: 100 point Restore – 1 SP, heals
1/2 of the party’s HP and NP
FLASH… FLASH… FLASH… FLASH… Mario's
team is revitalized
Luigi
HP: 15/15
NP: 12/12
SP: 0
Move: Super Smash – 2 NP, Hammer damage+2,
sometimes causes dizzy effect
Hits action command
Hammer Brother2 takes 2 damage and
is dazed
Goomba King
HP: 20/20
NP: 12/12
SP: 0
Move: Focus - restores 3-4 Smash points
Mario's team recovers 4 additional
Smash points
Enemy Start!
Hammer Brother2: UuUuuUunnnNnn, IiiiII
gIvE uuUuup…
HP: 6/8
Move: Commits suicide
G&W: Hmm... Odd. Anyway… Good job! You win 15 XP and 10 coins from this battle. You collect a Hammer Suit.
Mario: Woohoo! What does it do?
G&W: It can only be used by a Mario Brother. It transforms you into a Hammer Brother, increasing your attack power by 2. When you block, you are immune to fire, and you toss hammers anywhere as an attack.
Quizmaster: Nooooooo!!! My babies! You… @#$%&* jerk! I will get… my REVENGE!!!
Mario presses a button behind the quizmaster, who suddenly collapses and reveals a door and a Free Full Restore block.
G&W: Wow! These are rare! Every so often in a dungeon, you may find one of these. They restore your life fully whenever you want. They can’t move, unfortunately, and sometimes, certain Restore blocks make you pay a fee. Since this one is free, hit it as many times as you want!
Mario's Team: Woohoo! I’m feeling good now! Woah! Did we just say the same thing at once?! Wait! What is going on? This is NOT FUNNY! SHUT UP!!! … Thank you- D’oh!!!
G&W: Get moving, NOW!!!
Everyone Else: EEP!!! Hey! Stop saying what I am saying! Aw, never mind…
Mario's team eventually makes their way through the dungeons. They come across a door with a sense of humor.
Bowser Door: How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Mario: Beats me.
Luigi: Can’t anyone screw in a @#$%& light bulb?
Goomba King: Only one, but it depends on how much the light bulb wants to change.
Bowser Door: Goomba King is correct. Now for my next joke, why couldn’t the Air Force general cook anything?
Mario: Maybe the pilot light in his stove went out.
Door: Correct. Now two parrots sat on a perch…
Luigi: NO!!! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!
Luigi, in an insane, berzerker rage, smashes the door to pieces.
G&W: Nice, now let’s continue.
Mario's team goes through many easy puzzles and insignificant battles along the way. They run from a Koopatrol after identifying that it had 7 HP, 5 Attack, 4 Defense, spikes, and a charge-up attack for 12 damage. They battle to the point where they level up and get 40 coins, a Super Shroom, a Maple Syrup, and another 1-Up Shroom. They pay five coins to fully heal at a Tolled Full Restore block.
G&W: Congratulations! You and Goomba King level up to Level 3! You now have 20 HP and 17 NP. You learn the “Firehand” Special move, which is an advanced punch! It costs 3 NP. With enemies on the ground, it does Punch damage+4 and may burn. You can also throw the fire to do 3-4 damage to flying or ceiling enemies. Luigi’s damage formula is the same, but his bypasses intrinsic defense, and may stun, lower enemy stats; that kind of stuff. Goomba King now has 28 HP and 12 NP. His attack power increases by 1 and he can now use the move “King-Sized Headbonk”. KSHB for short, it is an advanced headbonk that also penetrates damaging enemy defenses due to his thick crown on his head, and does 5-6 damage and costs 3 NP.
Goomba King: Okay, the next door looks different. This probably means an ambush the instant we enter. Let’s go through our supplies to see how prepared we are.
G&W: Here it is quickly: 318 coins, the floppy disk, 2 Mushrooms, 2 Syrups, 1 Super Shroom, 1 Maple Syrup, 1 Hammer Suit, and 3 1-Up Shrooms.
Mario: I think we have enough items. Besides, we’re invincible if we dodge and counter, right?
Luigi: You’d hope. Look, no one can be perfect, and enemies apparently use the same principles as we do to their advantage, probably due to the UE’s clever plan to train them to help him. We still need to enter with caution.
Without warning, the red, iron door (and the wall) to the throne hall crashes down, revealing a giant Bowser robot with the seven Koopalings in control.
Ludwig: Behold, the almighty Ultra Mega Koopa Ranger Z.
Mario's team, including G&W, start pointing, laughing, bleeping, and rolling over their sides the instant they hear Ludwig’s announcement. Suddenly, all the other Koopalings glare at Ludwig.
Mario: You mean you watch Power Rangers?!
Luigi: That is such a dumb show!
Goomba King: What can I say?!
G&W: …
Ultra Mega Koopa Ranger Z: Ultra Mega Koopa Ranger Z.
Koopalings: NO!!!
Luigi: It didn’t just say that either, did it?
Mario: AND YOU WATCH POKEMON?!
Goomba King: Oh my DAD!!! Don’t they realize saying your own species in that context is ridiculed in society?!
G&W: (meekly) I wouldn’t go any further…
Ludwig: (to Mario) DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!
Other Koopalings: (to Ludwig and Mario) DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!
Mario's Team and Ludwig: Eep!
Battle Phase: Mario, Goomba King vs.
UMKRZ
Player Start!
Goomba King: Mario, let me identify
it first.
HP: 28/28
NP: 12/12
SP: 2
Move: Lecture – 1 NP – identifies enemies
This is UMKRZ. That thing stupidly
said its name, but now getting to the real details, it seems to have precisely
50 HP, 6 Attack, and 1 Defense. This thing, I am sure, is made by Ludwig.
Since he lives under a curse from the pantheon of Nintendo, there must
be some weakness to this machine that he created.
Mario
HP: 20/20
NP: 17/17
SP: 2
Move: Jump – Attack power 1+1
Self-destruct switch takes 1 damage
and is out. UMKRZ is out.
*CRASH, CLOBBER, THUD!!!*
Luigi: How did you do that?!
Mario: (hypnotically) I moved the cursor and found a different place to attack…
G&W: Must be a divine intervention from the pantheon.
6 Youngest Koopas: LUDWIG!!!
Ludwig: C’mon, at least I tried. Besides, we can still beat Mario if we all work together at once.
6 Youngest Koopas: Whatever!!!
Battle Phase: Mario, Goomba King vs.
Lemmy, Ludwig, Roy, Wendy, Iggy, Larry, Morton.
Player Start!
Goomba King: Tactics come first, if
you please.
HP: 28/28
NP: 11/12
SP: 2
Move: Lecture – 1 NP – identifies enemies.
Okay, in this special case, since a
band of similar enemies is fighting together, I can give a summary of them
all. All of the Koopalings except for Iggy, Roy, and Ludwig have 10 HP,
4 Attack, and 0 Defense. Iggy has 5 HP and 3 Attack even though he works
out six hours a day. Roy has 18 HP, 5 Attack, 1 Defense, and sometimes
throws siblings for six damage. Ludwig’s chocolate obsession raises his
HP to 20 and gives him 2 Defense. I have read your third book on the Adventures
of the Mario Brothers. Referencing from that, there must be more weaknesses
to all of the Koopalings. You figure it out!
Mario: Your turn, Luigi!
HP: 20/20
NP: 17/17
SP: 2
Move: Summon Brother – 1 SP
Brings Luigi into battle until the
battle ends or he loses all HP.
Luigi: Hmm, what is Thunderhand good
against…? I know!
HP: 20/20
NP: 17/17
SP: 1
Move: Thunderhand – 3 NP – (on ground)
Punch damage+4, stuns or lowers stats and penetrates intrinsic defense
Hits action command
CRITICAL! Wendy blocks, takes 11 damage,
and is unfortunately out.
Enemy Start!
Lemmy HP: 10 – Hey, it’s that Goomba
King guy King Dad said who betrayed him.
Ludwig HP: 20 – But we still should
go after the Marios since they have less HP.
Roy HP: 18 – If that guy betrayed Dad,
there is nothing better than a Combined Fireball to set him right!
Iggy HP: 5 – We should go after him.
I agree with Roy for once.
Larry HP: 10 – Fire! Where?! Oh, you
meant attack Goomba King?
Morton HP: 10 – Absolutely not! I agree
with Ludwig for once, that we should go after the Marios because Luigi
got Wendy… MPHH! … *RIP* Fine then.
Move: Combined Fireball – Attack power
4 x #Koopalings, may burn
Goomba King blocks and takes 22 damage
Player Start!
Mario: Ooo, that really must
have hurt, but the Koopas are idiots dumber than me.
HP: 20/20
NP: 17/17
SP: 1+1/20
Move: Firehand – 3 NP – (on ground)
Punch damage+4, may burn.
CRITICAL! Lemmy takes 10 damage and
is out
Luigi: Aw, I think I watch too much
Roy’s
Sports Hall, but this might be fun
HP: 20/20
NP: 14/17
SP: 1+1/20
Move: Thunderhand – 3 NP – (on ground)
Punch damage+4, stuns or lowers stats and penetrates intrinsic defense
Hits action command
Larry takes 6 damage and is stunned
Goomba King: Ugh, you were right when
you said that hurt!
HP: 6/28 (uh, I guess Danger, even
though he has >5HP)
NP: 10/12
SP: 1+1/20
Move: Use Mushroom – Restores 5 HP
Enemy Start!
Ludwig: *sulk*
HP: 20/20
Move: Invention Toss – Attack power
4, sometimes causes dizzy effect
Mario dodges
No effect
Roy: Maybe he’ll feel better if I throw
Larry at Luigi
HP: 18/18
Move: Toss Larry – Attack power 6
Luigi counters, Larry is deflected
Larry takes 1 damage, Roy blocks and
takes 4 damage
Iggy: Ha! I guess the Marios avoided
me since I’m so buff!
HP: 5/5
Move: GrandGoomba Crusher – Attack
power 3, may shrink
Goomba King takes 3 damage
Larry: (one minute ago) THblaISgidiFEELblagidyTOblagFAMi…
ugh…
HP: 3/10
Move: Can’t move!
Morton: How dare you electrocute my
brother who snuck an electrocuting devise on some of my speeches! I’ll
be sure to avenge him for this mocking inciMPHH!! *RIP* Aw man.
HP: 10/10
Move: Sandstorm – Attack power 4, hits
all, may blind
Everyone blocks
Mario takes 3 damage, Luigi takes 3
damage, Goomba King takes 2 damage
Player Start!
Mario: Luigi, let’s-a get the bully
HP: 17/20
NP: 14/17
SP: 1+2/20
Move: Super Jump – 2 NP - Jump damage
+2-3
Hits action command
Roy takes 4 damage
Luigi: Goomba King, you too!
HP: 17/20
NP: 11/17
SP: 1+2/20
Move: Thunderhand – 3 NP – (on ground)
Punch damage+4, stuns or lowers stats and penetrates intrinsic defense
Hits action command
Roy takes 6 damage
Goomba King
HP: 6/28
NP: 10/12
SP: 1+2/20
Move: KSHB – 3 NP – Attack power 5-6,
penetrates damaging enemy defenses
Roy takes 4 damage and is out
Enemy Start!
Ludwig: Good thing I stole this back
from Lemmy when he went down…
HP: 20/20
Move: Freeze – No damage, but freezes
all
Everyone blocks
No effect
Iggy: Feel, my undisputed wraMPHH! *SLICE*
Hey! I’m not- MPHH!
HP: 5/5
Move: GrandGoomba Crusher – Attack
power 3, may shrink
Mario protects the Goomba King, takes
3 damage, and shrinks
Larry: Hey, wait a minute, is he even
allowed to do that?! Oops, I forgot it was a secret command in the game.
HP: 3/10
Move: Well, he recovered! Vine Whip
– Attack power 2, attacks 3 times
Goomba King blocks 2 times
Goomba King takes 2 damage
Morton: Rats, ran out of wand power
and WEDDING CAKE! Oh well, I can hit him.
HP: 10/10
Move: Wand Whack – Attack power 4
Luigi counters
Morton takes 1 damage
Player Start!
Mario: I hate iggy. Diediediediediediediediedie!
HP: 7/10 (HP and Attack power halved
due to shrinking)
NP: 12/17
SP: 1+3/20
Move: Multi-Jump – Attack power 1 +(action
commands x 1)
Hits 6 action commands
Iggy takes 3 damage
Luigi: Did Larry just use a POKEMON
ATTACK?!
HP: 17/20
NP: 8/17
SP: 1+3/20
Move: Hammer – Attack power 1-2
Hits action command
Iggy takes 2 damage and is out
Goomba King: Let’s heal.
HP: 4/20 (Danger!)
NP: 7/12
SP: 1+3/20
Move: 100 point Restore – 1 SP – Heals
1/2 of the party’s HP and NP
FLASH… FLASH… FLASH… FLASH… Mario's
team is revitalized
Enemy Start!
Ludwig: I will not give up! I must
set the example!
HP: 20/20
Move: Chocolate-Based Stomp – Attack
power 4, hits all, may trip
Mario trips and everyone takes 4 damage
Larry: Aw, why did they make fun of
me?
HP: 3/10
Move: Mirror Whack – Attack power 4,
may curse
Luigi counters
Larry takes 1 damage and is cursed
Morton: That is not fair! You are not
supposed to be able to deflect- MPHH!
HP: 10/10
Move: Hyper Voice – Attack power 4,
may cause sleep to all
Mario takes 4 damage and falls asleep
Player Start!
Mario: Zzzzzzzzzzz…
HP: 14/20
NP: 17/17
SP: 4/20
Move: Dreams about Morton using Exploud
in Pokemon Ruby
Luigi: Ugh, now Morton is getting into
Pokemon cards, and it worked! How can it get worse?
HP: 20/20
NP: 16/17
SP: 4/20
Move: Super Jump – 2 NP – Jump damage
+2-3
Hits action command
Morton takes 4 damage
Goomba King: Yet another Koopaling coming
down.
HP: 18/28
NP: 12/12
SP: 4/20
Move: KSHB – 3 NP – Attack power 5-6
Morton takes 6 damage and is out
Enemy Start!
Ludwig: Hmm, Morton gives me an idea...
HP: 20/20
Move: Musical Mayhem – Attack power
4, may confuse
Everyone takes 4 damage; Mario wakes
up and is confused
A bolt of lightning hits Larry and deals
2 damage.
Larry: BlagiNOTdiblagablAGAdyINblag.
Ugh…
HP: 0/10
Move: He can’t move if he’s out. So,
you get it?
Player Start!
Mario: ?em yhW !noisufnoc wonk won
I tsael tA
HP: 10/20
NP: 17/17
SP: 5/20
Move: Instead of Super Jump, Super
Smash – 2 NP – Hammer damage +2, sometimes causes dizziness
Hits the inverted action command
Instead of attacking Luigi, Ludwig
takes 2 damage
Luigi: What did he say?! And how did
he attack Ludwig?
HP: 16/20
NP: 14/17
SP: 5/20
Move: Super Smash – 2 NP – Hammer damage
+2, sometimes causes dizziness
Ludwig counters (somehow through all
that fat)
Luigi takes 1 damage
Goomba King: Nuts, it’s a sign the battle
is lasting too long!
HP: 14/28
NP: 9/12
SP: 5/20
Move: KSHB – 3 NP – Attack power 5-6
Hits action command
Ludwig takes 3 damage
Enemy Start!
Ludwig: Aha! I got you! Wahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…
HP: 15/20
Move: Invention Toss– Attack power
4, may cause dizziness
Luigi blocks and takes 3 damage
Player Start!
Mario shakes off his confusion
Mario: I AM GOING TO WIN!!!
HP: 10/20
NP: 15/17
SP: 6/20
Move: Firehand – 3 NP – (on ground)
Punch damage +4, may burn
Hits action command
Ludwig takes 4 damage and is burned
Luigi: I guess he is right…
HP: 13/20
NP: 12/17
SP: 6/20
Move: Thunderhand – 3 NP – (on ground)
Punch damage +4, may stun or lower stats
Hits action command
Ludwig takes 6 damage; his Attack goes
down by 1
Goomba King: Aw man! Why couldn’t it
be defense?
HP: 14/28
NP: 6/12
SP: 6/20
Move: KSHB – 3 NP – Attack power 5-6
Hits action command
Ludwig takes 4 damage
Enemy Start!
Ludwig takes 1 damage. (Note, burns
in this game do damage every other turn, and on that every other turn,
attack power goes down by 1.)
Ludwig: I tried… Ugh…
HP: 0/20, so obviously Ludwig is out
and Mario wins the battle!
G&W: Good job! You win 35XP and 30 coins from this battle.
Mario: That battle was too easy. I-a like fighting! I almost hope the UE Battle is impossible.
Luigi: I’d be careful what I said if I were you. Still, if they were even remotely smart, they might have won.
Ludwig: I HEARD THAT!!!
A portion of the ceiling barely misses Ludwig but causes one of his inventions to explode and knock out the already barely conscious Koopalings.
Goomba King: Let’s use that 5-coin Restore Block we found earlier.
Mario's team is fully healed and now has 348 coins.
*CRASH!!!*
Bowser: Rrrraaaaaaarrrrggh!!! So you may have come here. I have ways of dealing with you! Once I defeat you, the UE will give me the Mushroom Kingdom once and for all!!!
G&W: NO!!! DON’T FIGHT HIM, MARIO!!!
Mario: Why not? He’s a BAD GUY!! Like the Lava Piranha said…
FLASHBACK…
Lava Piranha: BAD GUYS COME STEAL STAR SPIRITS… BAD GUYS MUST DIE!!!
END FLASHBACK…
Mario: Besides, I never knew you could sound so worried!
G&W: I demonstrated that earlier in the story. Is that right? And I mean YOU, IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER SCREEN AT WWW.LEMMYKOOPA.COM! By the way, we are here because…
G&W explains the plot of the story to Bowser.
G&W: …and you really aren’t evil, which means he intends to enslave you and destroy your Keep.
Bowser: Under no conditions will I let anyone else enslave the Mushroom Kingdom!
Mysterious Voice: YOU DARE RENEDGE ON OUR CONTRACT?! THOU SHALT BE PUNISHED FOR SHOWING THOU’S DEVOTION TO G&W!!!
*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*
Bowser: Wait, what’s happening? AAAAAaaaahhhhh… I’m shrinking!
Well, duh! Bowser shrank! To be precise, he is now barely taller than the Goomba King. He was previously the same height as seen from Super Mario Sunshine.
G&W: Did your Keep change in any way while you were in alliance with the UE?
Bowser: Well, not that I know of, but he did forbid me to look behind the back door that faces the lava, which I never use.
Mario's team heads to the so-called back door in the throne room.
Goomba King: Curses, it’s locked!
Bowser: Stand back!
*BANG*
Bowser: Ow… That must be magic or something…
Goomba King: Did you listen when I said “curses”?
Bowser: Why should I listen to a minion who betrayed me?
G&W: Stand back!
Bowser: Hey! That’s my line! Besides, I don’t take orders. I give them!
G&W uses the key from Donkey Kong Jr. and opens the door. A portal displaying a Triforce lies before them. Mario attempts to jump into the portal when Eldstar gets in the way and causes Mario to fall backwards.
Eldstar: Not so fast! You haven’t finished your quest on Plit yet! There is one more valiant soul in the jungle you should save before you continue further. After that, you should be able to come up to Star Haven to get an important Artifact of Nintendo.
Mario: Why can’t I just go up now?
Eldstar: You also need something that has been smuggled to the jungle. Without it, the Star Road is incomplete and we will not be able to use our limited powers to come down due to the UE’s obstacles.
Luigi: I guess that is a good reason.
Bowser: Hey! Don’t leave me here! Er, I mean, it will be dangerous there. Shall I serve as a tour guide?
Mario: Of course! Why are we enemies anyway?
Bowser: Uh, good question.
Mario: I think I-a got it! Stupid Kamek thought we would destroy the Keep, so he tried to kill us, but he dropped me and I landed on Yoshi. Yoshi told me that I told him to go to the castle. Kamek made you attack Yoshi, so Yoshi told me to hate you, while Kamek dragged you into the conflict.
Bowser: Good thing you got that old jerk! I hated him! He dropped me once when I was a baby! He went off looking for a first-aid kit, and by the time he got back, I had already healed!
G&W: Unfortunately, in a brawl, there is only enough room for three to fight directly. You may switch Bowser to the front if you like. Luckily, not all moves need to be used in the front, but likewise, the party in the back sometimes can be attacked. If the front goes down, the people in back can move into offense. Get the idea?
Mario: Yes, but I think you forgot something…
G&W: Oh… Congratulations! King Bowser has joined your team! I know this is unsettling, but he has proven his loyalty to us. Along with slashing enemies for 2-4 damage, he can attack a horizontal plane of enemies with a powerful Firebreath that costs 5 NP and does 4-5 damage in addition to its burning effect. He is worse at dodging and countering than the Goomba King, but he has 1 Defense that also works against electricity if he blocks. He has 25 HP and 12 NP. Our SP also increases by 1 upon arrival.
Bowser: Uh, that didn’t make sense…
Koopalings (Yes! All 7): Hey! Don’t leave us here!
Bowser: Sorry, kids, this mission is too much for children to handle. Watch the Keep and your mother.
Koopalings: PLEASE! We are sorry for attacking Mario.
Bowser: WHAT?! You just attacked Mario?! OFF TO THE DUNGEON…
Larry: Aw, poot!
Bowser: …FOR FOUR DAYS!!!
Roy: But Dad…
Bowser: 14 DAYS!!!
The Koopalings glare at Roy and Larry while Bowser informs his wife about the topic the author just talked about, of course after sending the kids to the dungeon.
Mario: Let’s-a go!
The five heroes (well, one is an ex-villain) set off for Jungle Japes to rescue DK.