Wario and Waluigi: The Doom Crystal

By Dark Knight

It is 7:49 at Wario and Waluigi's castle. The sun outside is setting and the moon is rising. Inside the den of the castle, Wario and Waluigi are waiting for their favorite television show, The Mushroom Adventurers, to come on while both are eating a large pepperoni pizza. After the commercial break, the words "The Mushroom Adventurers" appear onscreen with a desert area with a large pyramid in the background. An elderly Mushroomer named Ginopio walks onscreen and the words dissappear.

Ginopio: Welcome to another episode of The Mushroom Adventurers, everybody! I'm Ginopio, here at the tomb containing the mummy of the Great Pharoah Mushtankuhmen! We've set up camp outside of the tomb and my crew and I are searching for two legendary treasures that are believed to be in this very tomb itsself. One is a legendary blade made of gold encrusted with four holes where we believe something should go. Another treasure is an evil crystal that is said to contain limitless powers. It is said that the power of the golden blade was used to seal away the evil power of the crystal, putting it into a deep sleep. We'll now go live into the tomb with my second-in-command, Calami T!

Inside the tomb...



Ginopio runs to the tomb as fast as his old, weak knees will allow. He runs inside to find his crew dead.

Ginopio: Oh, my poor crew... Cameraman, let's get out of here before the same thing happens to us!

Cameraman: But what about camp?! Whatever killed the crew could destroy it and our belongings!

Ginopio: FORGET CAMP! OUR LIVES ARE AT STAKE! Everybody, this show is canceled forever!

The Mushroom Adentureres goes off and the TV goes to a commercial advertising for Tayce T's Shroom Steak.

Wario: No more Mushroom Adventurers ever again! Stupid idiots, all because they didn't want to get their equipment! Hey, Waluigi, I've got an idea! Why not go take the treasures for ourselves? I mean, no one else is camping there! So why don't we go get them and sell them for millions of dollars?

Waluigi: I don't see any problems with selling the sword, but the crystal sounds scary! Remember how you got an evil crystal before and it took over our castle and transformed all of our treasure into monsters?

Wario: Yeah, but I wasn't prepared that time. NOW we'll be ready and prepared for the worst! All right, let's go load up the Wario Car! I'll get food, and you get any useful items.

Wario gets a suitcase out of a nearby closet and runs his short stubby legs into the kitchen.

Wario: Hmm, this large cooked ham and cheese pizza will be good. And who can resist KeroKero Cola? I think these cans of beef stew will be great! I can't turn down Goom Goom Burger either!

Wario stuffs all this and other types of food into the suitcase. The suitcase is now nearly half full.

Meanwhile, upstairs in another closet...

Waluigi: Wario always loves using these Iron Boxing Gloves, they let him carry stuff when he has them on! And I've always loved pummeling Luigi with this Golden Hammer! A map of Plit and a compass, imperative for stuff like this. And everybody needs a tent and matches! And you never know when you need ten thousand coins! Ok, I've got everything I need!

Waluigi stuffs everything except for the Boxing Gloves and the Hammer into a burlap bag. He walks downstairs to see Wario ready with the suitcase.

Wario: What type of things did you pack, anyway?

Waluigi: I packed your boxing gloves and my hammer, a map and a compass, a bag of ten thousand coins, and a tent and matches.

Waluigi buckles the hammer into his belt and Wario puts on the boxing gloves. The large burlap sack takes up the other half of the suitcase.

Wario: To the Wario Car!

Wario effortlessly picks up the suitcase despite all of its contents and runs to the Wario Car, Waluigi following in his wake. Inside the garage, Wario throws the suitcase into the trunk and the duo hop in the car. A second later they are on the road again.

Wario: All right, lets get going!

Waluigi: Does the car have plenty of gasoline?

Wario: Yeah, I refilled it yesterday.

Two hours later, Wario and Waluigi are nearly to the tomb when suddenly they are stopped by a pair of white Shy Guys in general hats.

Shy Guy 1: Hey, you two! Park that car there and get yourself over here this minute!

Wario: Hey, don't talk to me like that!

Waluigi: I don't think we were speeding!

Shy Guy 2: No, you aren't going to get a ticket! It just looks like you are going on adventure! Have you ever heard of Brothers Abilities?

Wario: Brothers Abilities? Never heard of them!

Shy Guy 1: All right, we can teach you two of them then! First of all, Purple Cap, hop on Yellow Cap!

Waluigi does so and jumps onto Wario's shoulders.

Shy Guy 2: Now, Yellow Cap, dive at the ground, belly first! Try to reach that cliff.

Wario dives at the ground and bounces off of it, landing on the cliff.

Shy Guy 1: See? If you manage to pull it off, you can reach places you could never climb up or jump up alone! We call it the Boing Bros. Ability.

Shy Guy 2: And now, for another one. Umm, could you tell me your names so I won't have to refer to you by cap color?

Wario: I'm Wario and he's Waluigi.

Shy Guy 1: All right, Waluigi, jump on Wario's shoulders like before, except stand up this time. Now, both of you jump and then try spinning in a circle as long as you can, but try going in one direction. Do it simultaneously!

Wario and Waluigi successfully pull off the move and spin through the air like a helicopter, but fall in a few seconds.

Shy Guys 1 and 2: Congratulations! You have successfully mastered the Spinning Bros. Ability. You can use it to cross wide gaps and small valleys. Great job mastering the Basic Brothers Abilities!

Waluigi: You mean there is more?

Shy Guy 1: Yes, but you aren't ready for them yet. Oh, by the way, you can use them to attack!

Previously on Wario and Waluigi: The Doom Crystal...

Strange happenings were going on in Pharoah Mushtankuhmen's tomb... A camp had been set up by a group of Mushroomers hoping to find his treasures. They were making good progress, until monsters attacked.
The owner of the show and the cameraman were able to escape in time, but the rest of the crew was killed.

Meanwhile, two men named Wario and Waluigi packed up a suitcase and went to the tomb, hoping to take the treasures for themselves. On their way they were stopped by a pair of Shy Guys who were nice enough to teach them abilities they would be using shortly. We now continue this story.

Waluigi: Thank you for teaching us these abilities. I have a strange feeling we'll be using them soon enough.

Shy Guy 2: You're welcome. Remember to practice these in battle, because they are more powerful than your standard hammer or boxing glove attack. Look out for us on your adventure, because we will teach you new abilities depending upon the circumstances.

Shy Guy 1: Ok, my friend, let's get to Mushburger before it closes!

The Shy Guys run on down the road.

Wario: Strange guys, don't you think?

Waluigi: Yeah, they are strange, but these abilities could get us out of a jam. Let's go, now.

Wario and Waluigi get back in their car and continue driving. About thirty minutes later they are right at the pyramid, but there is a cliff in the way.

Wario: Darn it, we can't take the car with us! Waluigi, let's try to jump up there.

Waluigi: Yeah!

Wario and Waluigi jump as high as they can, but for nothing.

Wario: Our regular jumps aren't powerful enough!

Waluigi: Wait a minute! Let's use the Boing Bros. ability to get up there!

Wario: Good idea!

Waluigi jumps upon Wario's shoulders, who then jumps into the air and bounces upon the ground. The combined weight plus the power of Wario's jump cause them to get up on the cliff.

Waluigi: We made it! Hey, look, there's a camp.

Suddenly a mummified Goomba runs up to the duo.

Mummified Goomba: Who dares try to enter the Great Pharoah Mushtankuhmen's tomb so foolishly?! Those two Mushroomers made it, but you two won't be so lucky!

Waluigi: Wario, let's get ready for battle!

Wario: Right!

Wario runs up to the Goomba and punches him in the head extremely hard.

Mummified Goomba: Arrgh! That hurt, you big oaf!

Wario: Hey, I'm big boned, you pile of bandages!

Mummified Goomba: SHUT UP!

The Mummified Goomba runs up to Wario and dives headfirst at him, knocking him over.

Wario: S-shoot!

Waluigi: Wario! Hang on, I'm coming!

Waluigi pulls out his hammer, runs at the Goomba, and then whacks him over the head with the hammer. The Goomba falls over, defeated. Waluigi walks over to Wario.

Waluigi: Wario, are you all right?

Wario: Yeah, I'm fine. Could you help me up?

Waluigi extends a hand to Wario, who uses it to get off the ground.

Wario: Let's go check out that camp, now.

Wario and Waluigi are staring at a mass of ruined tents. The tents are ripped and equipment is scattered everywhere.

Wario: Lets see if we can find any useful equipment. Waluigi, you check that side. I'll check this side.

Wario goes over to the left side and goes into a tent.

Wario: Woah, a flashlight and batteries! This could come in useful, why didn't I think of that? And this bag of beef jerky still has a long way to go before expiring. A map of the pyramids will come in useful too. Well, this will come in useful! I'm gonna go find Waluigi now.

Wario stuffs the contents into a bag on a chair nearby. Meanwhile, with Waluigi...

Waluigi: Aha! An ancient diary, that could be interesting. And fresh bananas are wonderful. And of course we will need new clothes.

Waluigi walks out of the tent and over to Wario.

Waluigi: Well, what did you find?

Wario: I found a flashlight, batteries, beef jerky, and a map of the pyramids, including the tomb. What did you find?

Waluigi: I found an ancient diary, some bananas, and some new clothes.

Wario: Well, let's go to the tomb now!

Waluigi: Right!

And so the duo set off for the tomb of the Great Pharoah Mushtankuhmen. But do they know what waits in store? Find out in the next chapter of Wario and Waluigi: The Doom Crystal!

Read on!

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