Author’s Note: Thank you, Flame boo,
for inspiring me to keep writing this story, even if you’re the only one
who reads it...
Shadow Mario: Last time, I got to beat up people for money!
Bowser Jr: Which I spent on Bling Bling!
Chapter 4: Zombies- Man, they creep me out!
After another freefall, the team follows the trai tracks back to Rogueport. When they get there they all enter the pipe to Bowser’s base.
Bowser: So, my worthless son returns. You wouldn’t know where the pork rinds are, would you?
*Bowser Jr: Dad! You're not nice and kind anymore! Hoorah!
Bowser: Yup! Some good wrestling reruns fixed me all up. So how’s Roy?
*Bowser Jr: He got his butt handed to him by “A” Mario.
Bowser: Great. Mario’s taken back almost half of Rogueport! Take a break and come back here tomorrow.
*Bowser Jr: Why?
Bowser: Because if I’m not nice a little bit this shock collar will kill me.
*Bowser Jr: Whatever.
Max and Yux: AHEM!
*Bowser Jr: Oh yeah, I kind of promised these guys some health insurance.
Clefy: What about me?!
Shadow Mario: You didn’t ask.
Clefy: Well I didn’t ask for your wallet but I got it anyways!
She runs off with *Bowser Jr’s wallet.
*Bowser Jr: Hey!
Max: Ok, we’ll be in the hospital using the free health insurance.
Bowser: Which is coming out of your allowance!
*Bowser Jr: HEY!
Yux: We will see you tomorrow.
They leave. The four meet up at Rogueport’s center the next day.
*Bowser Jr: So how was it?
Yux smiles, revealing three gold teeth.
Yux: Bling Bling!
Shadow Mario: Let’s not use that joke again.
Yux: What did you get, Clefy?
Clefy: NOTHING! Some thief stole my money!
Frankly is seen hiding a wallet behind his back.
Clefy: And what did you get, *Bowser Jr? … How did I say *?
*Bowser Jr pulls out a golden mini Bullet Bill Blaster.
*Bowser: Not only does it look cool but it doesn’t need to be reloaded!
Shadow Mario: How’s that possible?
*Bowser Jr: Who cares?
Yux: Hey, where’s Max?
Suddenly Max runs in and starts tap dancing.
Max: I CAN WALK!
Clefy: Good for you.
Max: I got to go tell my mom! Where’s a phonebooth?
Shadow Mario: Over there.
He points to a booth marked “Suicide Booth”.
Max: Thanks!
He runs over to it.
*Bowser Jr: That was cruel.
Yux: Yeah.
Shadow Mario: I know.
Suicide Booth: Hello, please select your mode of death.
Max: Yeah, I’d like to make a collect call.
Suicide Booth: You have selected slow and painful.
A bunch of spikes, saws, and knives pop out of the machine.
Max: AHHHHHH!!!
Two minutes later, Max crawls out of the booth without his legs.
Suicide Booth: Thank you for using death in the box, have a nice day.
Max gets onto his cloud.
Max: I hate you.
Shadow Mario: I know.
*Bowser Jr: I already checked in with Dad. He says that we should check on Iggy in Twilight Town.
Clefy: How do we get there?
Yux: I heard there’s a pipe in the sewers that leads to the town.
*Bowser Jr: Well let's go!
He uses his new Blaster to blast a hole in the ground. They jump into the hole, and a few cars also fall in. They then find a green door, enter it, and find a pipe.
*Bowser Jr: That’s it. Let's go, again!
Everyone (in Toad’s voice): OK!
*Bowser Jr: …
They all jump in. Two seconds later the pipe ejects them at a high speed towards a wall.
*Bowser Jr: Ow.
Yux: That hurt.
Max: Yeah.
Shadow Mario: I wonder why it didn’t let us through?
*Bowser Jr: What have I said before? No one likes us. Hey, are we missing someone?
Clefy is ejected out of the pipe toward the same wall.
Everyone: AHHHHHHH!!!
She crushes them.
Clefy: I lose more friends that way.
A lot of Mushrooms later...
Max: How do we get in?
Clefy: Like this!
She rams the pipe, causing it to crumble. A giant vortex comes out of the hole where the pipe was and sucks them up. After it knocks them into the walls a couple times it spits them out in Twilight Town.
*Bowser Jr: Ow, again.
Shadow Mario takes control.
*Shadow Mario: Let's never break a pipe again.
Clefy: Yeah.
A Twilighter runs up to the group.
Twilighter: What are you doing here?!
Yux: (using two Mini-Yuxs to take the guy's wallet) Stealing stuff.
Twilighter: You shouldn’t be here! Doopliss’ big brother Booliss has taken over the Creepy Steeple’s doorbell!
Max: So?
Clefy: Remember PMTTYD? Doopliss took over the church's bell to turn people into pigs.
Twilighter: But his big brother's even worse!
*Shadow Mario: How much worse can it be?
A doorbell ring is heard.
Twilighter: Oh no! Please don’t let it be me!
The Twilighter’s skin turns pail, his skin starts to rot, and his small brain can now be seen through the new hole in his head.
Yux: Zombie!!!
Twilighter: (slowly) Brains.
He slowly walks over to the group. The group walks past him and since the town is full of zombies, passes them all and exits the town.
Max: What should we do?
Clefy: Maybe if we beat Booliss we can turn the town back to normal. Then we can find Iggy and take his wand.
*Shadow Mario: That’s the smartest thing you have ever said.
Clefy: I know.
They start walking towards Creepy Steepe. On the way Max looks things up in the tattle book.
Yux: What are you doing, random boy?
Max: Last chapter we forgot to use the tattle book. The fans got kind of mad.
Yux: Fans? You mean, like, someone’s watching us?
Max: Yeah.
Twilight Zone music starts playing.
Max: So we need two tattles this chapter. Ah, here’s one.
He floats over to a rock.
Max: Rock: HP: 1 ATTACK: 0 DEFENCS: 1
*Shadow Mario: Dang, that’s still stronger then a Goomba.
Goomba: I can beat a rock! Take this!
The Goomba headbonks the rock. His skull breaks in half.
Goomba: MOMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!
He runs away.
Clefy: Little wimp.
They then come across…
All: HYPER GOOMBAS!!!
Hyper Goombas: SUGAR!!!
A small Goomba with a headbrace walks forward.
Goomba: They made me do it!
Clefy: Little wimp with an army.
Hyper Goombas: ATTACK!!! SUGAR!!!
Clefy eats a Mushroom and grows three times her size, she then crushes the army and returns to normal.
Yux: …
They continue walking. They then find… an army of zombies!
*Shadow Mario: Oh come on!
He throws goop but a Zombie eats it.
*Shadow Mario: Dang… Get 'um, Clefy!
Clefy: Ummmmm…. NO!!!
Max: I’ll get them! Oh no.
Clefy: You didn’t buy Spiny eggs, did you?
Max: Nope.
Bowser Jr comes to.
Bowser Jr: I wasn’t unconscious. The author was just too lazy to start or finish mine.
*Shadow Mario: Hey! What about the lightning attack you used on this whiner in chapter one?
Bowser Jr: Hey! I’m no whiner! Take that back! WHAAAAAA!
Max: Yeah, about that… there was a solar eclipse that night…
*Shadow Mario: No there wasn’t.
Max: Ok, well the truth is, it was a fluke. I don’t remember how I did it.
*Shadow Mario: … WHY YOU LITTLE!!!!
He starts choking Max.
Max: *gasp* Can’t… breathe! Hey! I found a Spiny egg!
*Shadow Mario: What is it?
Max: (reading label on the side) Nuclear holocaust egg.
*Shadow Mario: Throw it!
Yux: It sure is taking those zombies a long time to get here.
Max is about to throw the egg when…
Goomba: What a stupid hat. Your hat’s stupid and ugly. Just like you.
Max: Don’t be dissen the hat, fool!
He turns around and throws the egg at the Goomba, who disintegrates. *Shadow Mario returns to choking Max.
Yux: It’s time for me to save the day!
Two Mini-Yuxs sprout out of Yux and then form shields around themselves. The Mini-Yuxs start spinning, then they launch themselves at the zombies. When they're done all the zombies are dead…er.
Yux: Yeah! All that and a bag of chips!
Ding-dong!
*Shadow Mario: There goes the doorbell again. I wonder who’s next?
Max takes a bite out of *Shadow Mario’s arm.
*Shadow Mario: Ow! I know I choked you but eating me is not the answer.
He turns around sees that Max is a zombie.
*Shadow Mario: This can’t be good.
*Shadow Mario turns into a zombie.
*Shadow Mario: (slowly) Brains.
Max: (slowly) And ketchup.
Clefy: RUNNNNN!!! AND FLYYYY!!!
Yux and Clefy run (and fly) towards the Creepy Steeple. The two zombies can’t keep up.
Yux: That was close.
Clefy: Yeah. Hey, all that running got us in front of the Creepy Steeple.
Yux: And there's two guards. One looks like Vivian, and the other…
The Other Zombie: (slowly) Are you “The” Mario?
Vivian: (slowly) For the last time, no.
Clefy: We can take them.
She rams the Koopa, causing him to crumble. Yux sets himself on fire and starts spinning, because spinning is all his mama taught him.
Yux: I don’t have a mom. I was created! In a lab! In space! By evil aliens!
Then he cuts off the purple thing that holds Vivian to the ground. She floats into space, where she explodes due to no air.
Clefy: Good thing that’s over. Let's ring that doorbell over there for no reason at all!
She presses the button.
…
The Traveling Sisters Three #1: Why did we come here again?!
#2: I don’t know.
Ding-dong!
#3: I don’t feel so well.
She turns into a zombie.
#s 1 and 2: AHHHHH!!!
…
Yux: Nothing happened.
Clefy: Let's try again.
…
Twilighter: Now kids, if Mommy turns into an undead, use this serum to change her back.
Kid 1: Ok, Mom.
Kid 2: Why do you always get to talk first?
Kid 3: This serum taste like dying!
Twilighter: No, Timmy!
She turns into a zombie, then eats her kids.
…
Clefy: Still nothing.
The doors open, the two enter the Steeple and find a guy that looks like Doopliss but with a black sheet and holding a wand, sitting in a chair and using a zombified Iggy as a footrest.
Booliss: What do you want?
Clefy: To do this.
She touches Booliss. A giant curtain appears and covers the scene, then It rises.
RPG Battle time!
Booliss: This can’t be good.
Yux uses Mini-Yux Steal!
Yux has stolen Tattle Book!
Yux: This random stuff is starting to get dumb.
Clefy uses Clefy Smash!
Booliss takes 5 damage!
Clefy: You can stop screaming.
Clefy used Boss Around on Narrator!
Clefy loses next turn.
Clefy: Hey!
Booliss uses Transform.
Booliss is now Bowser.
HP:
Yux: 30
Clefy: 9
Yux: ???
Clefy: Shut up!
Clefy turn skipped.
Because she’s not nice.
Yux uses Tattle.
Yux: Um… B-o-o-l-i-s-s: H, um, P: 50,
Attach: 4, de-fence: 0.
Everyone stares at him.
Yux: What?! I can’t read! Big deal!
Booliss uses Fire Breath.
Yux takes 4 damage.
Clefy takes 0.
Yux uses Fire Breath.
Real original.
Booliss takes 3.
Booliss: Shouldn’t it be showing the HP? This RPG is dehchtilg.
Clefy uses Charge.
Attack raised to 42.
Booliss: WHAT?!
Yux: 27
Clefy: 9
Booliss: 42
Booliss uses Run Away.
Yux: You can do that?
Booliss: Only if I’m the boss!
He jumps into the crowd and they carry him off.
RPG Over! Leave your money at the door.
Everything goes back to normal.
Clefy: Now what am I going to use this Charge on?
Booliss: How about this pickle jar?
Clefy smashes the jar so hard that the DNA breaks into pieces.
Yux: Why didn’t you leave?
Booliss: I stayed because I may stink at RPGs, but I can still do this!
He presses a button. A musical doorbell then starts playing. 30 minutes later all the zombies slowly walk into the Steeple.}
Booliss: Attack!
Yux: Boy, I wish we left with the extra time we had.
Clefy: I hope something random happens.
Zombie Max: (slowly) RANDOMIZE!
Clefy: We don’t need his random help!
Max glows and, you know the rest.
Zombie Max: (Do I have to say it?) Good.
All the zombies turn back to normal and kill Booliss.
*Shadow Mario: I’ll be taking that wand, thank you.
He pulls the wand out of the bloody remains of Booliss.
Iggy: Hey! That’s my wand!
Max: I can speak normally again!
Bowser Jr: This is a good thing because...?
Max: Wise guy, aye? Oh, the bad news is...
Twilighter: Hey, everyone! Who thinks we should have a hippie rock festival?!
All Twilighters: Yeah!
*Shadow Mario: Run!
They run outside. Iggy doesn’t get out in time.
*Shadow Mario: I can’t believe we survived all of that. Hey! I didn’t get knocked out at the end!
The rock from earlier attacks *Shadow Mario.
*Bowser Jr: This is starting to get retarded.
A guy who looks like Doopliss but with a brown sheet enters the Steeple. Another Twilighter runs up to the group.
Twilighter: Thanks a lot for saving the village, but Doopliss’ younger brother Brownliss has come to town! Who knows what causes he can cause?!
A toilet flush is heard. The Twilighter grows larger and grows brown fur and razor sharp claws and teeth.
Twilighter: AROOOOOOWWWWW!!!
*Bowser Jr: Ok! Werewolves is where I draw the line!
The Twilighter lunges towards the group, but they stupidly teleport away.
END OF CHAPTER
Shady: Due to some technical difficulties we will not be showing Luigi’s side today.
Luigi: Technical difficulties? You siced Blaze on my camerapeople!
Shady: Instead we will be showing an ad for the contents of this mystery box, because that man over there paid us three million coins to do so.
A tall man in a cloak simply nods.
Shady: I wish I had looked at it before I agreed. Let's start, Toad!
Toad walks onstage with the box.
Toad: Hey @&#& kids! Do you !$@% want a &&%@$ cool toy?! $%&$# yes?! Well then you &#*& need…
He pulls out a rectangle device out of the box. His hand burns off.
Toad: $%&$&#! What on &##%!@% Plit is @&$% that?!
Mystery Man: It’s the PSP!
The mystery man turns out to be Jak.
Shady: You fiend!
Jak: I’ll pay you another Mill if you show the X-box 360.
Shady: Deal!
Shady takes out pliers and uses them to throw the controller to Toad. It instantly kills him.
Jak: My work here is done.