Author's Note: I don’t own the Mario Bros, but I DO own my three OCs, or Original Characters. This story uses my three characters, Lashamaru (not me), Rose Koopa, and Mew Koopa. Lash is inspired by anime; Mew Koopa by the fanart of Koopamon; and Rose Koopa is my first “hybrid” ever made... for me, that is.
Chapter One: The Unique Three
Three figures were walking down a rocky road path in the interior of the thick Mushroom Forest, just around the edge and outskirts of Mushroom Village. The biggest figure was an average Felis: part-pink cat, complete with tail, paws (hands and feet) equipped with claws, and adorable cat ears that twitched for any noise they could pick up. The figure on the left had a human shape, but wore a pitch black shell with bronze spikes, its outer layer scathed and scratched. The one on the right, however, had the body of a Mew with a mauve shell and silver spikes; a few were bent from “mutations”. Its pinkish skin had a green tone to it, and it had studded bracelets, a collar, and a tail collar.
The human figure said to the other two, “A nice walk always does calm me down, you know.”
“We kinda figured that out, ya know,” assumed the Felis. Its pink-white hair and yellow cat-slit eyes gleamed in the small rays coming from the treetops. Her accent dripped of Miami/Cuban. “You told us that a long time ago. You don’t remember it, but you said it.”
“Yeah, still echoes in m’head, though,” replied the Mew-like figure in a British accent. “I wish I could get rid o’ it, though.” She sighed.
“Guess I got a bad memory,” supposed the human, as she looked up at the trees. Some bore apples, others held peaches in their branches. Many fungi grew around the roots’ bases.
As they walked out of the forest and through the village gate, they were greeted by two fearsome Shroom Guards.
“Halt, who goes there?” asked the first one.
“We do not let enemies of the Mushroom Kingdom and Monarchy pass!” insisted the other one, slightly less bulky then the first.
“Step aside boys, I got ID,” she alleged, putting her paws up. In a flash, she scratched the guards, sending them flying. “Yo, Mew-chan, you’re up.”
The Mew figure came to the gate and it glowed a dark purple. In about a few seconds, she bent the gate bars open. “I practiced my Psychic today, Lash! Like it?”
“Really good,” Lash replied. “I am impressed. Last time, you couldn’t break a pencil with Psychic. Must be stimulants.” She shrugged.
“That she is,” agreed the human, “but I think she just practiced.”
“Thanks, Rose!” she said in glee.
As they stepped in, they walked to the bar, the many Mushroomers scared half to death.
Lash, Mew, and Rose sat down on the chairs and waited for the bartender. In came a Koopa Troopa in a bartender’s ensemble, polishing a drinking glass.
“Three drinks, put it on my tab, Charlie,” said Lash, looking at the Troopa sternly.
“You got it, chicks,” Charlie said, as he prepared the drinks.
“Make sure you put a few more ice so it’s chilly. ‘Member the last time?” asked Mew Koopa, as she put her four-fingered hands on her stomach, which ached for a drink.
Charlie passed the drinks to the three girls: some Ice Land glacier water for Mew Koopa, as she got “side-effects” from these drinks; a beer for Lash; and some fat reduced milk for Rose. They all drank up as the Felis placed a bag with 100 coins on the table. “Here’s the price for my tab. Keep the change.”
“You ARE my best customers, ya know,” he said, “so come back anytime!”
“Gotta go, guys, my bathroom break’s over in my job,” she said in a rush, looking at the sun and clouds.
“See you!” the other two said, as Lash POOFED! out of the village.
Chapter Two: The Start of an Evil Plan!
Lash had entered the castle a few minutes before the bathroom break was actually over, so she walked to the throne where the great King Koopa sat. He was not very impatient due to her early arrival... and was still pretty confused about the teleportation thing.
“I’m glad a worker of mine actually arrived early,” he said, a bit pleased.
“I actually left ten minutes early, but I had a 5-minute delay...” she replied, a bit embarrassed.
“So, since you got here so early, I’m gonna give you a really important assignment.”
“Yes, Your Majesty?” she said, awaiting her first important mission.
“You must kidnap the princess for me. I’m tired of those wretched plumbers always knowing I did the dirty work, so they won’t know you did it. Got it?”
“Yes, Lord Bowser, Your Majesty,” she said, bowing down. “I won’t fail you.”
“Good. Don’t let me down.” Lash walked through the double doors of the castle and left. Outside, tied to a rope, and being stared at by many Koopa Troopas, was her Goombule, Jerry. She jumped on him, sat down crosslegged, and extended her index finger claw.
(*Goombule: Lash’s pet Goomba/mule hybrid. It has the grayish brown body of a Goomba, but with ears and a tail. Because it’s part mule, it can’t be squished easily. How it became a Goombule, no one knows. That’s the author’s secret. ~_^)
“Hyah!” she commanded the Goombule. The mule/Goomba hybrid didn’t move... until it got its “motivation”. Its eyes widened and it broke free of its ropes and galloped out of Dark Land.
The Goombule neighed - it sounded like a gerbil drowning - and ran off, leaving those poor Koopa Troopas in the dust. It ran towards Mt. Majesty* at a speed twice that of a running leopard, with Lash digging her claws into the Goombule’s forehead, making the crossbreed’s condition worse. It stopped when they reached the mountain side, as she took out her claws and retracted them back. The Goombule drank from the large bowl of water and food the demon had to offer.
(*Mt. Majesty: Yes, that same one from the Fun Fiction “Game Over”.)
“Good, Jerry, take a break now, you had a long run,” she said as she ran on the Mountainside Trail.
Inside her house, she took a paper and pen out of her night table drawer and wrote a ransom note before the actual kidnapping:
To the Mario Bros:
I have kidnapped the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom and locked her away, throwing away five keys you must find in each place representing a Chinese element, so your attempt at rescuing her is futile. There is no point; you might as well give up and go back to Brooklyn.
--Anonymous
(PS. I am not Bowser, nor Tatanga, nor Bowser Jr, nor any villain you know.)
“It’s brilliant,” she told herself. “It can’t possibly—no, I’m not gonna say it, I’m just gonna jinx it. Which means that I won’t jinx it? Argh, I’m so confuzzled!” She grabbed her head due to a headache, swallowed some aspirin, and took the note with her and ran down the trail. She then climbed the GIANT stairs that were next to the trail.
As she continued to run up the giant stairway, she found a vending machine. She placed in a red coin, drank some Koopa Kola, and was back on her way. A few Albatross were flying around the mountain so she had to swat them off. A few minutes later, she arrived at the top of the Stairs: at the Felis Village.
The village that Lash originated from was a Medieval-themed town with everything: a tavern, a bar, the villagers' homes, a ranch, some farms growing crops in the mountain’s dirt, and the Cannon Shop.
“Ah, the Cannon Shop,” she whispered, relaxed. “Those were good times...”
As she entered the shop, she was greeted by a cougar Felis, her cousin Lai.
“Hey, Lai, what’s up? I need to use a cannon,” she said to Lai, who was waiting for someone to enter. Apparently, Lash came in at the right time.
“Ok, where to?” he asked her, taking out a map of Plit. A small dot was on Mt. Majesty.
“The castle...” She pointed to the Mushroom Kingdom Castle, “...of the Mushroom Kingdom. On the double.”
“One Mach-3 Cannon to Mushroom Kingdom Castle, comin’ right up,” he said, and entered the workroom. He came out with a large cannon with painted flames on it. “One-way, ‘member that, got it, Cuz?”
“Got it.” She hopped into a ball position and the cannon was fired out of the open target window. What was left of Lash was a pink blur.
The “cannon ball” had been fired and a blurred pink ball shot out of the sky straight towards the castle of the Mushroom Kingdom. A local Mushroomer saw this and ran towards the village once more. Somehow, it ended up on the news.
“This just in,” said the reporter guy whose name I don’t know, “a pink blur has been seen shot out of Mt. Majesty’s mountain top, so we advise you to watch for where this thing will land. Some experts say it’s Lashamaru the Deviant, so be on the lookout.” Those words echoed from every TV in the village, and soon the doors and windows were closed shut. Rose and Mew watched horrifically at what Lash - or Bowser - was up to.
“Mew, ya think that maybe ol’ Koopa sent Lash to kidnap Peach?” she asked Mew Koopa, who was still thinking.
“I have no idea, but who cares? I’m not a big fan of Peach,” she replied coldly, but she might get kicked out of the village!”
“Mya, it’ll be all right,” she said. “I just hope Koopa ain’t thinkin’ of what I’m thinkin’ right now...”
Chapter Three: The Worst of the Worst: Peach is Kidnapped!
It was dusk as the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, Peach Toadstool, worried about the pink ball that had been shot out of Mt. Majesty. She was in her pink-and-white-themed room watching her favorite soap opera, when the news bulletin showed the furball flying towards the castle.
“Why would someone besides Bowser go after me?” she asked herself.
“Cuz you’re my boss’ target!” The door was burst open by a swift kick. It was Lash, who had arrived only a few minutes after being shot. She held some rope, a handkerchief, and a note. “You’re a-comin’ the easy way, or the hard way. I suggest you go the easy way, and I’ll leave you unscathed.”
Then Peach got an idea. “Whatever,” she said, calmly crossing her arms, “but Mario’ll save me and you’ll be going to Kingdom Come.”
“Oh, but I’m not taking you to Castle Koopa, oh no,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re going to MY lair, and Mario’ll never know ‘bout it. And you know why?” Peach shook her head, now worried. “Because I know Plit like the back of my pink, furry paw!” Lash tied up Peach, gagged her, and left the note on her bed.
“Mario!” she cried, muffled through the gag, as Lash carried her away via POOF!
Mario’s Pad was pretty quiet, as Mario was cleaning the bathroom pipes; something had gotten stuck in there and now he had to get it out. He had tried everything in the Plumber’s Book, but no dice). Meanwhile, Luigi was watching TV, a few minutes after the firing from the mountain had been reported..
“Big Bro, you think that Lash could really be headin’ towards the castle?” he questioned.
“Maybe,” he said, struggling on whatever was in the pipes, “but if that DID happen, the alarm would’ve gone off.” And as if he had expected it, the alarm went off like mad. “I should’ve known.”
Mario left the plumbing and took some power-ups. Luigi switched off the alarm so his ears wouldn’t pop.
“Good luck, Big Bro,” the taller brother said to his counterpart. Mario left the plunger and wrench in its place and ran out the door.
It was night time as Mario ran from the house towards the castle. He took a warp pipe near a peach tree and appeared in the courtyard. He opened the doors, finding the castle to be silent; you could hear someone breathing, technically, though it was only his own. He knocked on Peach’s door to see if anyone was there. Nothing.
“Peach, are you all right?” he said aloud and opened the door. No one was there. There was only a note and the lingering smell of gunpowder*. As he crept closer towards the bed, to make sure there were no traps, he picked up the note and read it thoroughly. After letting it sink in, he was greatly appalled.
*Gunpowder: When a Felis teleports, it leaves a scent depending on its modd. When Lash becomes violent or enraged, her scent is gunpowder. At times, it also makes the sound of gunfire, but this only happens once in a while.
“Bowser, you fool,” he alleged, “it’s the same old routine.” He shook his head and ran out the castle, not without taking one last sniff. Why was there a smell of gunpowder in the room if there was no evidence of gunfire, he wondered. A Toad walking towards the room with cleaning supplies had picked up the scent and asked Mario what happened.
“Someone- most likely Bowser- kidnapped Peach,” he said seriously.
“But if Peach was kidnapped, then the alarm signaling the intruder would’ve gone off,” the Toad pleaded, in fear of the princess’ life.
“The firing from the mountain... the smell of gunpowder... the note...” Mario thought carefully. “This doesn’t make sense. Can you get some information ‘bout this smell?”
“I’ll go to the library to see if there’s any information that might help you,” the Mushroomer said, as he left the cart full of cleaning supplies and ran off, Mario following suit.
Mario had run out of the castle’s courtyard and towards Dark Land, but not before buying some equipment. While running, he thought of one of the sentences in the note.
...throwing away five keys you must find in each place representing a Chinese element...
“What did she mean by that...?” he said quietly as he entered a warp pipe towards Dark Land. As he approached Dark Land, a voice boomed on the speakers:
“Don’t let Mario reach Lord Bowser! Use any and all weapons at will!”
Soon, gunfire and cannonballs were fired towards Mario, who used a Starman to deflect the bullets. However, as the Troopas ran out of bullets, they started to use the cannonballs. Unfortunately for the plumber, this was right at the time when the Starman's power wore off.
“Darn it,” he said as he ran in a zigzag formation which dodged the cannonballs. Before he reached the gate, he met with a giant orange tank, complete with TWO cannon barrels. Out of the hatch came Bowser Jr.
“I swore revenge on you, Mario,” he said in his squeaky voice, “and now I’m gonna open a brand can of butt-whoop on you!” He re-entered the tank and fired smoke bombs at Mario. He coughed wildly and was rammed with the tank’s front.
“What’s this?! Where’d all this stuff come from?” he asked Bowser Jr.
“I brought it here from Earth; I felt
that battleships and troops weren’t enough,” said a voice over the
speakers. Mario looked up in surprise
to see the Deviant holding onto a rope and speaking through a megaphone.
“Who are you?!” he shouted towards Lash.
“HELLO?!” she screamed. “I’m Lash, Peach’s kidnapper! (I thought the smell would be a dead giveaway. Humans these days...)”
“Then why did you write that it’s not any villain I knew?” he asked her.
“One: I thought you would be dumb enough to fall for it. Two: I was in a rush. Three: You asked before about- ARGH! Look, I’m keeping Peach for ransom. This’ll be the last time you’ll look at her. Even though you’re gonna see her again, you get my point!” She signaled the pilot of the battleship to open the hatch next to the rope she was hanging on. Hanging on the rope (enforced by steel) and inside a bird cage (with five different locks) was Peach. She was screaming for her life.
“Grr! Let her go!” Mario shouted in rage, now ready to kick Lash.
Lash said in what sounded like a Clint Eastwood voice, “C’mon. Make my day.”
Mario grabbed his last power-up from his pocket: a P-Wing. He used it and flew directly for Lash, but the demoness extended her claws and scratched Mario, removing his powers. Now he appeared as if a bear had thought he was a scratching post. In his final attempt to save Peach, forgetting about the locks, he put almost all of his power into his foot and kicked the bars. No dice.
“Ha!” Lashamaru said in triumph. “Those bars are PURE titanium! You have a better chance of teaching Lemmy how to walk!*”
*Similar to the saying, “A snowball has a better chance in the underworld.”
Mario still hung on to the bars; Peach grabbed Mario’s hands so he wouldn’t tire out.
“Jr! Blast him away with a Fire Bomb!” she commanded. He gave her the thumbs up, went back to the controls, and fired two Fire Bombs at Mario. The first one missed; the second one was right on target.
“Mario!” Peach screamed with tears flowing from her eyes. “NO!”
Mario fell, the last of his energy drained from the impact, on to the hard Dark Land dirt and rocks. He heard Lash’s cackling and Peach’s cries for help just before he fainted.
Chapter Four: The First Key
Mario had wakened up from the fight he'd had a few hours ago; he had a doozy of a headache. He put a gloved hand on his head (no hat on) and looked around. There were many Mushroom nurses and doctors rushing about with patients on those wheeled beds and some in chairs waiting for their appointments. He was at the hospital, he thought to himself, getting a surge of pain through his head two and a half seconds later.
“What happened...?” he asked himself, and found Luigi asleep on the chair. Again, Mario held his head in pain. “Luigi, wake up.”
“Zzz... Zzz... Zzz... Huh?! Whazzuh?” Luigi snapped out of his drowsiness and looked towards Mario. “Oh, Mario, you’re awake.”
“What happened, Lil' Bro? Why am I here?”
“According to a Mushroomer who was scouting for you,” he said evenly, “you were in a coma and a lot of scratch marks were on you. He picked you up (somehow) and carried you to the hospital.”
“Ugh. That girl... Why’d she kidnap Peach...?”
“I saw her on the news. She was in a Battleship entitled S.S. Darkling. I heard Lash had Peach hostage, but she headed towards Mt. Majesty.”
“How do YOU know her?” he asked his younger brother.
“I saw her on the news; mentioned her name and everything.”
“Ugh. I hate her guts,” Mario said before he passed out.
Peach was looking at her new surroundings; definitely NOT Castle Koopa. The walls were stone and the floor was tiled. On the northern wall were many computers and on another were scrolls and other papers taped up for viewing. In front of her was Lashamaru. She wore a red jumpsuit with a little Japanese cloud on the left leg’s side. She wore a black skirt over the jumpsuit, a pink vest with a dark red cape, and Felis Boots, specially designed for her feet (and those big cat toes). In her hand was a Wooden Key, its handle glowing brown with the middle keyhole on the giant lock.
“What is this thing?!” Peach screamed, rattling the bars. Peach really wanted to whoop Lash, bad.
“The Ancient Lock of Thzaiko*,” she said evilly, twirling the key with her furry fingers. “It was used to lock up the cell Thzaiko stayed in for betraying the other Gods, according to Felis prophecies. This is the Key of Wood. My friends are guarding the other four keys, and—” Her eyes grew wide, then glared at Peach. “I’m not gonna monologue it, I’m-a tellin’ you that much. Monologuing is for mediocre villains, and if YOU don’t know it, then neither will Mario. Gweh heh heh heh heh!” She walked away, with the poor princess screaming Mario’s name.
(*Thzaiko: In Felis Mythology, Thzaiko is the equivalent of the God of War, Ares.)
Mario had gotten out of the hospital only to realize that he had to find a way to get the five keys. Then, he had an idea.
“Hey, Luigi, you know that sunken ship in the Mushroom Sea?” Mario asked his brother, who was deciphering the note Lash left them. “Maybe there’s a key there.”
“What,” Luigi said, “in the S.S. Shroom? No way.” Then he read one of the sentences from the note again. ...representing a Chinese element... “Wait, is Water a Chinese element?”
“Yeah,” Mario said. “Fire, Water, Earth, Wind, and Wood... Of course!” Mario snapped his fingers. “The Water Key must be in the sunken ship! Let’s go.” Mario left. He'd forgotten; Luigi had to stay to guard the house. Mario left anyway, his pockets still holding a few power-ups left from the battle.
Mario was on a plane with a parachute on his back. He jumped off the plane towards the Mushroom Sea, at the location where the S.S. Shroom had sunk. He pullsedthe cord halfway down and landed in the water a few minutes later. He swam towards a rock with its surface out of the water. On that rock, he put on the Frog Suit and jumped into the water. He swam lower and lower, not even feeling the effects of water pressure on his lungs. Yay, video games.
He finally reached the S.S. Shroom, which was broken into four big chunks of a ship. He looked around and saw a blue glimmer in the chunk of ship north of the main piece. He swam towards the window and found the key. He swam in and grabbed it. The ship segments trembled as water started draining. Loud CLANKS were heard. The ship was being put back together!
“My, my, we have an intruder on the ship. Name’s Rose Koopa, and unless you have a good excuse...” started a female voice. Mario turned to see the girl, wearing a sailor’s outfit. “...I need to get rid of you now!”
Rose pulled out one of her spare shell spikes and it transformed into a scepter with a sapphire on it. She chanted something in Maukian* and a wave of Dry Bones walked in, chanting the spell over and over. Some broke apart and became a cannon. The remaining ones formed a cannonball and were stuffed into the cannon.
“Fire!” Rose shouted, pointing the sapphire towards Mario. The cannon fired and a white blur was seen before Mario was knocked towards the wall. He lost his Frog powers. “Make sure that plumber doesn’t get out alive!”
Mario jumped on the Dry Bones and ground pounded them, breaking the bones themselves before they reformed. Mario grabbed a Hammer Bros. Suit, put it on, and threw hammers like mad. After many hours of battling, the Dry Bones were gone, leaving Rose Koopa.
“You win this time, Mario,” she said pointing at the plumber, “but you still have four more keys to go!” She left the ship, which stayed afloat because of the scepter’s magic. Mario looked at his key in victory. Four more and this terror’ll be all over, he thought.