Luigi and Waluigi have just made their way to the door that leads to the Sitting Room.
Waluigi: Why exactly do you want us to waste our precious time in an optional room?
Luigi: Because it leads to a portrait ghost, which we'll have to catch sooner or later if we want our mansion to be free of ghosts. And how do you know that this is an optional room?
Waluigi: Well, how do you know that this room leads to a portrait ghost?
Luigi: Touché.
Waluigi: Who is this ghost anyway?
Luigi: Oh, it's just the ghost of a little girl.
Waluigi: A little girl? Ha! This will be piece of cake.
Luigi: We should watch out, though. I heard little girl ghosts are the worst kind of ghost you can find in a horror movie, second only to Japanese ghosts.
Waluigi: Well, this isn't a horror movie and I'm not afraid of the Japanese, so I don't care.
Luigi: ... Okay, then. I'll open the door now.
Luigi uses the key he found in the Sealed Room to unlock the door, but before he can touch the doorknob, Waluigi kicks the whole thing down and goes inside the room.
Waluigi: ALL RIGHT, WHO WANTS TO GET SOME?!
No response...
Waluigi: I KNOW YOU ARE HERE, ECTOHEADS!!! DON'T MAKE WALUIGI GO AFTER YOU!!!
Still no response...
Waluigi: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!
Painting on the wall: ...
Luigi: ... What in the world are you doing?
Waluigi: I'm a bad boy! I'm acting accordingly!
Luigi: Suuure you are.
Waluigi: You wish you were as cool as Waluigi.
Luigi: Yeah! Because Dick Dastardly parodies that refer to themselves with third-person pronouns are so cool!
Waluigi: You think you're so funny, don't you?
Luigi: Me? Funny? I'm the only one here who's taking this adventure seriously! You should do the same.
Waluigi: Nobody tells Waluigi how to do things! I follow my own rules!
Luigi: *sigh* I need a rest...
Luigi lays down on the sofa.
Luigi: I'll take a quick nap because, you know, being the only competent protagonist can be quite tiresome. Wake me up if ghosts or something else that wants us dead decide to appear.
Waluigi: I won't have to. I'll have all the ghosts in this room beaten by the time you start dreaming about Daisy in a swinsuit.
Luigi: ... I'll just ignore that last part.
Luigi closes his eyes and falls asleep seconds later.
Luigi: *snore*!
Waluigi: Now... where are those stupid ghosts?
Waluigi starts searching for ghosts by checking all the stuff in the room, except the pot found in the corner farthest from the room's door...
Waluigi: Wait! Why can't I check that pot?
Because the next chapter is written in a way that makes it impossible for you to do so without creating a plothole. Oh, you also can't water that money plant for a gold bar for the same reasons, by the way.
Waluigi: ****!!!
Sorry, but we have to be consistent here.
Waluigi: ...
Waluigi goes back to his task of searching for ghosts, but he gives up some minutes later.
Waluigi: Forget this! If those ghosts don't want to face me, then fine! I'll just spend my time with something worthy of it.
Waluigi sits down on the chair and starts reading... War and Peace?!
Waluigi: Just because I'm Wario’s brother doesn't mean I'm dumb like him.
... Waluigi resumes his reading, but gives up because it's too dark and Luigi is snoring too loudly.
Luigi: *LOUD SNORE*!!!
Waluigi: Luckily, I know what to do.
Waluigi takes off his left shoe and shoves it into Luigi's mouth. It blocks his snoring.
Waluigi: Works with Wario everytime. Now, for the lighting problem...
Waluigi heads towards some candles hanging from the north wall and lights them with a spray of fire from the Poltergust 3000.
Waluigi: Much better.
Suddenly, five Gold Ghosts appear in the room.
Gold Ghost #1: Man, that was an awesome party!
Gold Ghost #2: Yeah! I still can't believe we drove King Boo's car into the pool.
Gold Ghost #3: Wait until he finds out. Heheh...
Gold Ghost #4: Hey! Who's this guy and what's he doing in our room?
Gold Ghost #5: Who cares? Let's scare him to death!
Waluigi: AAAAAAHHHHHH...!!!
Gold Ghost #1 jabs Waluigi in the stomach.
Waluigi (90): Oof!
Gold Ghost #2 uppercuts Waluigi on the jaw.
Waluigi (80): Ouch!
Gold Ghost #3 tickles Waluigi on the ribs.
Waluigi (80): HAHAHAHAHAHA... STOP!!!
Gold Ghost #4 used Shadow Punch. Critical Hit!
Waluigi (65): *Pokémon-like fainting cry*!
Gold Ghost #5 fires a Hadouken on Waluigi.
Waluigi (55): UGH! YOU GUYS ARE PLAYING TOO MUCH GA-
Waluigi gets jabbed in the face.
Waluigi (45): Ow! That was a cheap-
Waluigi gets jabbed in the face again.
Waluigi (35): Ow! Stop doing-
Waluigi gets jabbed in the face yet again.
Waluigi (25): EEEEEENNNNNNOOOOOOUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
Gold Ghosts: ...
Waluigi starts going berserk around the room with his Poltergust 3000. The Gold Ghosts are all captured during the process.
Gold Ghosts: Help!
Waluigi: WAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!!!
Two Temper Terrors (Fire Ghosts) suddenly appear in the room.
Temper Terror #1: Time to spice things up!
Temper Terror #2: Can you take the heat?
Waluigi does his signature evil glare from Mario Tennis.
Temper Terrors: AAAAAAHHHHHH...!!! WE'LL STOP WITH THE FIRE PUNS!!! WE PROMISE!!!
The Temper Terrors both flee from the room.
Waluigi: Heheh...
The room lights up and Luigi wakes up shortly after.
Luigi: *Muffled sounds*!
Waluigi: Oh.
Waluigi takes his shoe out from Luigi's mouth and puts it back on his left foot.
Luigi: It will take months for this taste to leave my mouth. Why was that thing there anyway?
Waluigi: Uhh... A ghost?
Luigi: ... And you want me to believe that you had nothing to do with it?
Waluigi: ... It would be nice if you did.
Luigi: ... Never mind.
Luigi notices that the room's lights are working.
Luigi: Hey, you actually did something without my help for once.
Waluigi: Yep. I even managed to scare two ghosts with the sheer power of my awesomeness.
Luigi: Riiight...
Waluigi: Shut up! I'm telling the truth!
Luigi: Whatever. Come on,
let's head over to the next room.