Kamek Katastrophe

By Lemmy's Campfire Tales

Artwork by Fried Rooster

One sunny day on Yoshi's Isle, the Yoshis are having a peaceful day.

Yoshi: You know it!

Here we see Yoshi having a day at the beach drinking a nice glass of pink lemonade. While Yoshi is taking a sip we see another Yoshi with shades playing volleyball with some hot female Yoshis.

Boshi: Aw yeah, this ROCKS!

Right next to the beach, we see a sumo wrestling arena and see one of Yoshi's friends, Yellow.

Yellow: I am SO going to win!

And off in the distance we see Blue Yoshi soar through the sky.

Blue: WHEEEEEEEEEE!!! BUNGEE!!!

On our next visit we see Red Yoshi eating some extra spicy burritos as hot as fire salsa!

Red: Mmmm... So good... *burps a fireball*

Next, we see-

Kamek: I don't care! just get on with the story!

Fine, fine, fine, we now see Kamek in his tower, looking at Yoshi's Island.

Kamek: Grr... I hate all those Yoshis! I shall destroy all of them! But how? I tried many ways even when I was young!

Baby Bowser: Yeah. Oooohhh! Let's take the babies! Oh noooooo! One got lostttttttttt! Wahhhh!!!

Kamek: You shut up!

Baby Bowser: Ahahahahahahah!!!

Kamek: How could you?!

Baby Bowser: Easily!

Kamek: -_-()

Baby Bowser: Face it, you idiot! Your magic is so old, it remembers Pong! There's no way you'd ever beat those Yoshis with such low-grade magic!

Kamek: Lord Bowser... THAT'S IT!

B. Bowser: What did I say?!

Kamek: You're right! I'm never going to destroy them with such outdated
magic! I'm going to purchase a brand-new wand, with brand-new magic! Those Yoshis won't even know what hit them!

Later, at Wands 'R' Us...

Kamek: I want a wand, and it better be a good wand or else!

Seller: Hi! Welcome to Wands 'R' Us; can I help you?

Kamek: Didn't you hear me? I want a...

Seller: You want a wand, right?

Kamek: Well, duh, I want the newest one you got!

Seller: That will be 500 Yoshi coins!

Kamek: WHAT?! Well, anything to get rid of those darn Yoshis!

Kamek hands over the money and takes the wand.

Kamek: Finally, those Yoshis will be destroyed! This new wand has so many powers, even I don't know what they all are!

And with that, Kamek teleports directly to Yoshi's Island. Kamek appears atop a mountain, wand drawn. Down below he sees a bunch of Yoshis. Some are laying down, some are playing, some are reading, most of them are eating, you know. The Magikoopa draws his wand and slowly points it at the Yoshis below.

Kamek: Here goes nothing.

As he says his, a beam of light shoots out of the rod and hits the Yoshis below. And, right when it hits the ground, smoke appears. When the smoke clears out, all of the Yoshis have turned into babies! The Yoshis that were mentioned earlier, and some more, form a meeting.

Yoshi: Okay, this secret meeting has been called in order to find some way to defeat Kamek's newest schemes. Any suggestions?

Yellow: We can squish him until nothing's left of him!

Yoshi: Too violent.

Blue: I could throw a pie at his face, and Kamek will be too embarrassed to do anything to us!

Yoshi: Too comical.

Red: We could trick him into entering a chili-eating contest, and make the
food so hot, his tongue burns up right inside his mouth!

Yoshi: Too spicy.

Boshi: I could dance with hot, good-looking female Yoshis that think that I'm the greatest Yoshi that has ever existed, and Kamek will get so jealous, he'll explode!

Yoshi: Too... oh, I don't even know where to begin!

Voice: Well, you could cross Yoshi's Island and try to get the wand away from Kamek.

Yoshi: Who said that?

Just then, a Koopa with sunglasses and a coat comes out of the shadows. He takes off the sunglasses and throws them in a random place. A crash and a cat yowl can be heard.

Koopa: Oops! Gotta watch that. Anyway, the name's Koover. I overheard your dilemma, which isn't so hard, considering as it was near my house.

Koover points behind the Yoshis to show a hut like those game huts in Mario World 2.

Red: We never noticed that...

Koover: Yeah, I'm sure you didn't... Anyway, back on topic.

Yoshi: Ah yes, about Kamek... Well, it seems that your idea is the best one so far. Anyone else agree?

Red: Sounds bland, but I'll give it a try.

Blue: Kinda boring, but it just may work.

Yellow: It sounds good to me, although I preferred my idea better.

Yoshi: So it's agreed; we start tomorrow morning.

And, that next morning, the brave Yoshis began their trek across the island to Kamek's new castle.

Yoshi: Let's see... According to this map I picked up off the ground a few footsteps ago, it seems that our island has gone under renovations. It seems that the first couple of areas are the same as they were all the way back when Mario was a baby, but it seems that major factories and such have taken over the other areas.

Yellow: Well, what are we waiting for? The sooner we get through these areas, the quicker I can punish Kamek for what he's doing to our island!

Blue: Lets go already, I'm getting tired and hungry!

Red: *sigh* Me too...

Meanwhile, at Castle Koopa...

Kamek: So those pitiful Yoshis are coming to take away my wand in order to cure their brethren... Pah! I have something special planned for those fools! But first, I think I'll see what other powers my new wand has!

Kamek points his wand at a screen that goes through it to Red.

Red: Something feels wrong... EEK! I'M A GIRL!

Blue: That stupid Kamek is going to pay for this!

Red: Blue, I think I'm in love with you!

Blue: WOAH!

Red chases Blue around in a circle.

Red: Give me a hug! That'll do!

Blue: Not on your life!

Yellow: GUYS! STOP IT! WE HAVE TO STOP KAMEK AND STOP HIS CURSES!

Red: What if we can't?

Yellow: Then you can fall in love with Blue!

Red: Yay! I hope we fail!

Yellow bonks Red over the head.

Red: Ouch!

Kamek: So it can change people from male to female and vice-versa... Interesting... Now I shall go see what monsters I have at my disposal to transform!

Baby Bowser: Nuh uh, old timer! You're gonna play with me first!

Kamek: Away, you brat!

Later, with Kamek's personal hard of monsters...

Kamek: Ah yes, which one to use?

Mega Mole: Use me! Man, I haven't been out in the field since the 70's, man!

Kamek: Too outdated.

Sumo Koopa: Uhhhhh, yeah. Could I go, because I, uh, feel like I'm obligated to serve my country.

Kamek: ... I'll get back to you.

Toadie: Why not use that unused thing you have locked up in the back?

Kamek: Good idea, lackey!

Kamek goes further into the ranks until he reaches a large scarlet door.

Kamek: Now to release my beast!

The door opens.

Kamek: It's time for you to awaken, my minion!

A giant tube is revealed to be on the other side of the door.

Kamek: Ah, yes, my greatest minion... Ultimate Guy!

Kamek opens up the tube and a golden Shy Guy comes out of it.

Ultimate Guy: HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE?! YOU MADE ME OVER TWENTY YEARS AGO ONLY TO LOCK ME AWAY!

Kamek: Relax. I have a job for you... It involves destruction...

Ultimate Guy: WHAT IS IT?!

Kamek: A band of baby Yoshis are coming to the castle and I want you to stop them... I think they are heading to the dock. I doubt they will be able to get into the ships at their current age, but just in case, I want you to go and stop them. Do not hesitate to destroy anything that stops you!

Ultimate Guy: I WILL GET RIGHT ON IT!

The Ultimate Guy leaves the castle.

Baby Bowser: Ahem, Kamek...

Two minutes later...

Baby Bowser: Would you like more tea, Mrs. Kamek?

Kamek: No, you infernal little brat!

As Ultimate Guy steps out into the field he suddenly starts shaking.

Ultimate Guy: What the...

Suddenly Ultimate Guy becomes horridly deformed.

Ultimate Guy: I'll kill Kamek for this.

Ultimate Guy grows to be about ten feet tall.  He has spikes all over, and on his arms are axe blades. He grows leathery wings and his arms and legs have claws and talons.

Ultimate Guy: Rawr! MUST KILL YOSHI BABIES!!!

Meanwhile, at the port...

Red: Hello, can we get in?

Guard Yoshi: Woah! I didn't know babies of your age could talk! Sorry, kiddo, but wouldn't your mommy and daddy be worried if you left them for two seconds?

Red: SHUT UP!

Red kicks the guard on the knee.

Yoshi: It looks like we must find another way in.

Yellow: Why not sneak aboard?

Blue: Good idea!

Guard: Go away, ya stupid kids! I tried being nice! GUARDSSSSSSSS! Get them!

All: AHHHH!

Yoshi: Wait a minute! Why not just turn them into eggs and throw them into the bottom of the sea?

Red: Too brutal, but ok!

The group of baby Yoshis eat all of the guards and throw the eggs into the sea.

Blue: Let's go!

The Yoshis get to the deck and are in front of a supercomputer. Yellow begins hitting random keys.

Red: Um, Yellow, I don't think you should be fiddling with that.

Yellow: Nah, I've seen this happen before on a movie I watched!

The boat speeds off.

Yoshi: Your stupidity paid off, Yellow! Someone steer this thing!

Blue gets to the wheel and carefully steers the ship north.

But, back with Ultimate Guy...

Ultimate Guy: Wait, I don't even know which Yoshis to kill.

He just thinks.

Ultimate Guy: Stupid Kamek. Ah well! I'll just kill them all!

He then sees a boat speeding out towards the ocean.

Ultimate Guy: Hmm, there seems to be some baby Yoshis onboard...

And, back on the boat...

Blue: Umm, what's that ugly thing in the sky?

Yellow: I don't know! Man the cannons!

Yoshi: There are no cannons! Let's throw these pipes at it!

The Yoshis begin throwing pipes at Ultimate Guy, who eventually flies away.

Ultimate Guy: HOW DARE YOU?! I SWEAR, I'LL BE BACK!

Meanwhile at Castle Koopa...

Kamek: Ah, so Ultimate Guy has failed me... But he said he'll be back, so I'll forgive him this time...

Baby Bowser: Hey, Kamek! Wanna pway wit' me again?

Kamek: CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?!

Baby Bowser: Uwaah! I'll tell King Dad on you!

Kamek: Fine! What game?

Baby Bowser: Lets play Whack A Kamek!

Bowser puts a bandana over his eyes and pulls out a stick and hits Kamek in the stomach.

Kamek: Oww! I hate this game!

Baby Bowser: Dis fun!

Back with the Yoshis, Red is looking at Blue with hearts in her eyes.

Blue: Dear DAD, I can't wait until we reach the other port...

Yellow: Hey, what does that sign say?

Yellow points out of a porthole at a floating sign. It reads, "Touch Fuzzy, Get Seasick". Then, a swarm of Fuzzies (the white, fluffy kind) begin to fly towards the boat.

Yoshi: Guys, it looks like we have a small problem...

And, with Ultimate Guy...

Ultimate Guy: Let's see... According to a map of the island I memorized before I left the castle, I'm currently in World 5: The Factory area. I believe this was a snow area before, though. Let's see... If any Yoshis were going to stop Kamek, they would have probably left World 1: The Plains already, and have taken a boat to World 2: The Forest area. Which means, I should be able to get to them by World 3: The Jungle area, and stop them before they go any further!

Random Goomba: What a nerd...

Ultimate Guy: Oh, keep quiet, you!

Back with the Yoshis...

Yoshi: I HATE FUZZIES!

They have been swarmed by the little buggers.

Red: I love you, BLUE!

Blue: NOT NOW!

The Fuzzies touch all of the Yoshis and make them seasick.

Blue: Weehoo! I feelz good!

Red: I is gonna marry Blue!

Yoshi: Want Many Fruits! Fuzzy Good Friut! Bad Gramma'!

Yellow: I is a ballerina!

However, they crash the boat into the forest dock, restoring lucidity.

Red: Arrgh! And I wonder if my love Blue is ok! Perhaps a hug will cheer him up!

Blue: Leave me alone... Oww! You're crushing my already-hurting ribs!

Yoshi: Hmm, according to this map someone left behind, we have to get through the forest to get to the jungle. And then once we get through there, we'll hit the Mushroom Kingdom!

They trek into the forest.

???: OOOOOOooOOooOOOoO!

Red: I'm scared; hold me, Blue!

Red latches onto Blue.

Blue: Get off me!

Yellow: Shut up! Listen.

???: Fools! YOu HaVE VeNtUred to my ReaLM AnD NoW You Shall PaY!

Yoshi: Great.

A huge Pider leaps out of the woods.

Blue: How are we supposed to fight it?! We don't have any eggs!

Red: Now I'm really scared!

Red holds Blue all the tighter.

Blue: I just cannot wait for this curse to be lifted! We're babies and I'm being loved by Red!

Yoshi: I've got it!

Yoshi jumps into the air and comes crashing down upon the Pider.

Pider: YoU ShAlL PaY fOr ThAt!

The Pider shoots Red with its web, sticking her to the forest floor.

Blue: RARR!

Blue tackles the Pider.

Red: Ooh! He loves me so much he'll die for me!

Blue: Nope, but I'd rather die to get AWAY from you!

The Pider falls over, defeated.

Red: Yay! We won! Someone get this web off of me!

Yoshi then eats the web.

Yoshi: Ugh, it tastes like undercooked cabbage!

The four proceed ahead, when they are stopped by a gap.

Yoshi: How will we get across?

Red: Why not swing across on the vines? I'll go with Blue!

Blue: I'll go last!

Yoshi grabs a vine which, unfortunately, turns out to be a Piranha Vine.

Piranha Vine: OOOh, something tasty!

Meanwhile, back with Kamek....

Kamek: Let's see... What else does this wand do?

Kamek points his wand at the screen again, but this time the blast from it hits Blue.

Red: C'mon Blue! We're meant for each other!

Blue: Now is not the time...

Yoshi grabs onto the vine.

Blue: Now your turn, Red.

Red: Come with me!

Blue: No way, Red!  I... Oh my, I'm naked! No saddle, no shoes.

Red: I'll say.

Piranha Vine: Please put up a parental advisory sign up next time.

Yoshi: What he said.

Kamek: Is that all it does?! I have a feeling they ripped me off! But it'sa lot better than my old wand.

Baby Bowser: Ahem!

Kamek: Aww, no!

Blue: It's chilly!

The owner of the ESRB draws a new saddle and a new pair of shoes onto him.

Blue: That's better.

Red: I want a hug!

Red latches onto Blue again!

Yoshi: Someone help me!

Yellow: I'll do it!

Yellow eats the head of the Piranha with his long tongue.

Yoshi: Now we can swing across!

Yellow is about to swing across when the body of the Piranha Bine falls inthe gap and a huge Nep-enut leaps out and eats it.

Yellow: AHHHHHHHH! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT?!

Yoshi: A very dangerous obstacle

Yellow: Wait a minute! When I ate that plant I made an egg! Here goes nothing!

Yellow throws the egg, which knocks the Nep-enut out temporarily.

Yellow: He should be out cold for ten minutes. Hurry!

The squad swings across the gap and is halfway through the forest.

Yoshi: We still have halfway through the forest to go.

The author said that.

Yoshi: Darn!

With Kamek, again...

Kamek: Let's see... So far, this thing can change ages, swap genders, and make certain things disappear. I wonder what this button does...

Kamek fires another blast, and this time, it hits Yellow. Yellow grows long feathery wings from his back.

Kamek: Darn! It appears that was meant for the owner!

Baby Bowser: I WANNA PLAY!

Kamek: THAT'S IT!

Baby Bowser: Waah!

Baby Bowser runs off somewhere.

Yellow: Yay! I can fly!

Yoshi: We'll make sure not to take that away! Just don't fly too far ahead!

Blue: Help me! I'm being chased by Red!

Red: I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!

Yellow picks up Blue and flies him over to the other side of the gap.

Red: No fair!

Blue: Yellow, I officially owe you one.

Kamek: May as well try something bad to that green Yoshi, too.

Kamek is about to fire another blast, this one aimed at Yoshi, but suddenly...

Yellow: This is great! I love flying!

Red: This is PERFECT! I love Blue!

Blue: Help me!

And suddenly Ultimate Guy appears.

Yoshi: Don't you have anything better to do?

Red: We are prepared this time!

Ultimate Guy: What are you talking about? This is the first time we've ever met! I haven't even told you that I'm called Ultimate Guy!

Yoshi: Oh, right...

Ultimate Guy: I was originally going to ambush you at the end of the third world, but since you've decided to take your sweet time, I'll defeat you right here and now!

Kamek, interested by the recent events, decides to just put down his wand and watch what happens.

Blue: Now, wait one moment! If you're going to kill us, can you start with me?

Ultimate Guy: And what makes you want to die at my hands so badly?

Red: I LOVE YOU, BLUE!!!

Ultimate Guy: Now it all makes sense...

Yoshi: Well, you're not going to kill us without a fight, at least!

Ultimate Guy: Very well. If it's a fight you want, then a fight you'll get! However, Kamek has put a spell on me to make me stronger after every battle... You don't stand a chance!

Red: I won't let you harm my love, Blue!

Blue: I don't mind if you hurt her!

Red jumps into the air and hits Ultimate Guy upside the skull.

Ultimate Guy: I see you have gotten even stronger... You are nearly to the Jungle, but you must defeat me to pass!

Blue swallows a Piranha Plant nearby, producing an egg, and then throws it at Ultimate Guy.

Ultimate Guy: I am growing weak... I should flee, but I won't.

Ultimate Guy slices Blue with his axe blades.

Blue: ARGH! My arm!

Red: Oh no! Is my little blueberry hurt?

Blue: I'd rather be dead than alive right now...

Red: Now, don't say nasty wasty things like that!

Ultimate Guy: "Nasty wasty"? That's it; you're next!

Ultimate Guy then starts charging towards Red.

Yoshi: Oh no! I must save Red!

Blue: No! Let her die!

Red: I wanted to get married and have WEDDING CAKE!

Morton: Did you say the MAGIC WORDS?!

Yoshi: This isn't the Interview section! And you're not even supposed to be born yet!

Morton: Aww...

Morton flies away.

Yellow: That was random. BUT I WILL SAVE RED!

Yellow jumps onto Ultimate Guy, causing him to fall over.

Ultimate Guy: NO! I FAILED AGAIN! BUT I WILL BE BACK!

Ultimate Guy flies off towards the Jungle.

Kamek: That guy is failing me! My patience is running thin!

Baby Bowser: I want to play ball!

Baby Bowser throws a baseball at Kamek, causing him to faint.

Baby Bowser: Aw, poor Kamek... Hey! A stick thing! That's ten times betterthan Kamek ever was!

Baby Bowser picks up the wand and takes it to his room.

Baby Bowser: What does dis button do?

Baby Bowser aims the wand at a life-sized poster of himself. His image on the poster suddenly comes to life and jumps out!

Paper Baby Bowser: Hi! I'm Paper Baby Bowser! I'm like you, only I'm made of paper! And, I have better grammar skills!

Baby Bowser: Cooooooooooooooooooool.

Paper Baby Bowser: Want me to get you anything?

Baby Bowser: Yeah! Get me dat gween donkey Kamek was looking at!

Paper Baby Bowser: Sure thing!

Paper Baby Bowser then jumps out through an open window, turns into a paper airplane, and starts to glide while searching for Yoshi and his pals. Speaking of which...

Blue: So this is what the Jungle area looks like?

Red: This would be a good place for our honeymoon, Blue! Well, except for the bugs...

Blue: HONEYMOON?! Man, I wish Kamek zaps me soon and turns me into something so gross and disgusting, you wouldn't even come near me!

Red: Aw, that's silly! I'd love you no matter how bizarre you looked!

Blue: Even if I was a Wiggler?

Red: EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Blue: Thought so.

Red: Aww, look at all the pretty monkeys!

Ukikis: Eek eek eek!

A bolt of lightning hits the Ukikis and they fuse into one Super-Ukiki. Ultimate Guy jumps out of a nearby bush.

Blue: Ultimate Guy!

Ultimate Guy: I have gained new skills, but I don't think I'm ready to try them out yet! But why not stick around and fight the monkeys?

Red: Aww, I can't fight this Monkey Fusion! It's just too cute!

Red begins munching on a bag of Jalapeno Chips she found on the ground.  TheSuper-Ukiki slaps Red up into a tree.

Red: Grr! I FEEL ANGER DWELLING UP INSIDE OF ME! DIE!

Red has acquired the power of Fire Breath! It kills things... and stuff...

Red: I'll protect Blue!

Red burns the Super Ukiki, who falls into a lake and drowns.

Red: Blue, are you all right?

Red latches onto Blue for the millionth time in a second.

Blue: DEAR DAD! GET HER OFF OF ME!

DAD: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND...

A pig crushes blue.

Blue: Why do the Koopa Deities hate me so?!

Yellow: Because they like Red.

Blue: Darn!

Yoshi: Let's head in further. After this Jungle, we'll be in the Plains area!

Paper Baby Bowser glides down and reconfigures.

Paper Baby Bowser: Cool. Then we can do something according to plan... well, since there is no plan, we can just walk up to Marching Milde's Fort, then drop a train on 'em!

DAD: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND...

A train falls from the sky and flattens Green, Yellow, and Red. Toadette pops out of nowhere.

Toadette: Boy! Am I lucky that didn't flatten me! But it would be exciting if something DID fall on me.

DAD: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND...

A grand piano crushes Toadette.

Toadette: This is ridiculous. I'm gonna sue.

Paper Baby Bowser: How can you sue DAD? It's an impossibility. Hey, YOU'RE YOSHI AND FRIENDS! I MUST DESTORY YOU!

Yoshi: Uh... De-story?

DAD: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND...

Paper Baby Bowser is de-storied. As in, he magically disappears and vanishes from the story, at least for now.

Yoshi: Coolios!

DAD: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND...

A bunch of Coolios, which look like Furbies with dark colors and claws, appear out of nowhere and start running around.

Coolios: COOLIO! COOLIO!

Yoshi: OH NOES!

DAD: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND...

A bunch of Oh-noeses, which look like pink and purple Strong Bads, appear also out of nowhere and start punching stuff.

Oh-noeses: OH NOES! OH NOES!

Yoshi: Omigosh!

DAD: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND...

A bunch of Omigoshes, which look like dark blue and violet The Cheats, appear out of nowhere and start running around.

Omigoshes: OMIGOSH! OMIGOSH!

Yoshi: MEEP!!!

DAD: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND...

A bunch of Meeps, which look EXACTLY like Homestar Runner, the only difference being their voices, appear and start spraying Mountain Dew all over the place.

Meeps: MEEP! MEEP!

The train that crushed the Yoshis fly up into the sky and disappears with a spinning star and a "TWIIIING!"

Blue: Wha- YOU IDIOT! NOW WE'LL NEVER GET TO THE NEXT AREA!

Red: WAY TO GO, YOSHI!

Yoshi: Don't blame me! Blame DAD!

A zombified Yoshi prospector appears out of nowhere.

Yoshi: Hey! You're supposed to be dead!

Zombie Yoshi Prospector: (calmly) Save me, Superman.

The ZYP goes kerplooey. This, naturally, attracts the Coolios', Oh-Noeses', Omigoshes', and Meeps' attention.

Coolios: COOLIO?!

Oh-Noeses: OH NOES?!

Omigoshes: OMIGOSH?!

Meeps: MEEP?!

Yoshi: Oh boy.

The Zombie leads the Coolios', Oh-Noeses', Omigoshes', and Meeps' into the jungle and onto a cactus.

Yoshi: DAD, no more wishes!

DAD: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!

Red: Aww! I was hoping for a candlelit honeymoon! I want one with Blue.

Cricket: Chirp...

Blue: Hahahaa! Oomph! Get off of me!

Red: I love you!

Blue: NOO! DAD, GET RID OF HER!

Cricket: Chirp...

Yellow: Up ahead is a broken bridge. I could fly across, but I won't leave you guys behind.

Yoshi: How could we repair it?

Red: Why not pile sticks on it?

Blue: Good idea!

Everyone piles sticks on the bridge and then goes across.

Yoshi: According to the map we still have another half of the Jungle to hitand then we will arrive at the Plains area, near Marching Milde's Fort.

Blue: NOOOOO!!! NOT MORE JUNGLES!!!

Yellow: Oh well... I can fly everyone through!

Suddenly, Kamek wakes up.

Kamek: AHHHH!!! You all must suffer!

Kamek points the wand at the screen. He shoots a blast of magic at Yellow, making him lose his wings. He then points it at Red, making him a male again, but making him an Emperor Bulbax from the Pikmin games. Suddenly, a random Furby, Strong Bad, The Cheat, and Homestar Runner appear.

Furby: U-nye pay for what u-nye did!

Strong Bad: We'll make you pay for what you did, you lazy !@#$ for !@#$!!!

The Cheat: Meh!

Homestar whips out a bottle of Mountain Dew.

Homestar: NEVER-ENDING SODA! A-a-a-a-a...

All: YOU KILLED OUR CLONES! NOW YOU'LL PAY!

They begin beating up Yoshi and friends.

Yoshi: GET THAT YOSHI ZOMBIE! HE'S THE ONE!

Strong Bad: Why didn't you say so, you !@#$ for !@#$.

The Cheat: (cheatspeak for "Let's go get that zombie!")

Furby: Kah agree!

Homestar: A-a-a-a-a-a... Wait, what?

Three of the fearsome foursome (the Furby, SB, and The Cheat) leave.

Homestar: HEY, WAIT UP, YOU GUYS!

Homestar zips away instaneously. Marzipan appears and chases him.

Marzipan: COME BACK HERE!

The KOT chases Marzipan.

KOT: Marzipan, I am your father.

Marzipan: NNNNNNNYEEEEEEESSSSS!!!

Marzipan becomes 20X6 Marzipan and disappears. The KOT follows suit. (The disappearing thing.) Yellow then becomes normal.

Yoshi: That was... wholesome. Now c'mon, guys!

Just then, the Yoshis realized what Kamek had recently done!

Blue: Yay! I'm saved! No more being hugged by Red!

Red: Ugh! I'm a freak! AND I HUGGED BLUE!

Yellow: NO! I WAS BEGINNING TO LOVE FLIGHT!

Yoshi: Come on! Yellow, we can get your wings back. Red, we will find a way to turn you back into a Yoshi. But we must restore our age!

Yellow: Ook...

The quad travel through the jungle when suddenly they are stopped byUltimate Guy.

Ultimate Guy: I see you have had the positive effects removed. BUT YOU STAND NO CHANCE!

Ultimate Guy charges up a beam and shoots it at Red, turning him, err, her back into a female Red Yoshi.

Red: I LOVE YOU, BLUE!

Ultimate Guy: Aha. I see the power of that pitiful wand has seeped into me... ULTIMATE BUSTER!

Ultimate Guy blasts all of the Yoshis, sending some flying.

Blue: (in matrix) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Blue dives back.

Kamek: Aha! That idiot is finally doing something right! And now, I shall be the one who lands the finishing blow!

Kamek pulls out his stick, points it at the Yoshis, and-

Kamek: Wait. STICK? Where did my wand go?

First off, I think you're breaking the fourth wall. And second, Baby Bowser swiped it from you while you were unconscious.

Kamek: But what about those Yoshis? They changed!

Those particular spells must only be temporary. As for Red turning into that guy from those Pikmin games, it must be just a side-effect.

Kamek: Really? Well, I'd better stop my future lord before he causes any more trouble!

Kamek marches towards Baby Bowser's room. He is just about to open the door when he hears two Koopas giggling inside. Kamek decides just to take a peek inside the room, just to see what's happening.

Baby Bowser: Yes! Finally, I got a girlfriend my age! I'll name you Two-eyed Billy! Or maybe Clawdia.

Baby Clawdia: Oh Bowser, you are so handsome and charming! I want to grow old with you, and have many children to continue the Koopa Legacy you will have created! I'm so thankful you just created me out of an old doll you owned!

Baby Bowser: IT WAS A FEMALE ACTION FIGURE!

Kamek decides to stop spying and close the door.

Kamek: I don't think I'll punish him yet. After all, from personal experience, I know that girl will do some punishing of her own as soon as Bowser makes a move on her.

*SLAP!*

Kamek: Hm, looks like it happened sooner than I thought...

Back to the Yoshis, they have been blasted all the way to the next world. However, both Ultimate Guy AND Paper Baby Bowser are quickly catching up to them!

Yoshi: It's getting dark, guys! Hey, look, we're at Toad Town! Let's find us an inn and sleep for the night.

Blue: What about the Toad House?

Red: Oh, we can sleep in the same bed and hug the night away!

Blue: I think I'll sleep outside.

Yellow: And be an easy target for Kamek? Not on my watch.

So the group of Yoshis head to the Toad House.

Red: May we stay here for the night?

Toad: Sorry, only people ten years or older can stay at a Toad House.

Yoshi: But Goombario was 8 and you let him sleep here with Mario in Paper Mario!

Toad: Oh, you do have a point. In that case, that'll be 9,999 coins.

Blue: WHAT?!

Blue kicks the Toad out and the squad goes to bed.

Meanwhile, just outside the house...

Paper Baby Bowser: So, it seems that those brats are resting up for tomorrow. This seems like a perfect time to sneak in and defeat them before they even awake!

Ultimate Guy: Hey! Who are you?

Paper Baby Bowser: I'm a paper version of Baby Bowser, who created me with Kamek'snew wand! And you are?

Ultimate Guy: I'm Ultimate Guy. I was created by Kamek a long time ago, and I've been given various improvements for my mission to get rid of those guys.

Paper Baby Bowser: You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

Ultimate Guy: Team up and blow those Yoshis to smithereens?

Paper Baby Bowser: Exactly!

Read on!

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