Wart's Revenge

By Beezo'n'Weldar

It was a quiet day at Mario and Luigi's house. Luigi was cooking breakfast, as usual, and Buzzar Egg was on the menu.

"Mario, breakfast is ready," shouted Luigi. No answer. "Mario!" Still no answer. He walked into their room and in the top bunk was... no one. The only thing there was a hole in the roof.

"Oh, no!" Luigi said. "I've got to go get help!"

So, Luigi set off on his journey to find his brother, after packing breakfast. The first place that Luigi went was obviously Toad Town. Luigi left his house and said to himself, "Another adventure. At least I won't have to go to the Waffle Kingdom this time, though. Stupid Crepe, that backstabbing princess-stealer." Luigi entered the warp pipe, but what he found was not Toad Town.

What he found was... ruin.

"Help!" Luigi heard someone say.

He yelled, "He-Hellooo?"

"Come here!" said the figure. "I'm at the docks!"

"O-Okay..." Luigi stuttered. He left to the south, only to find the docks completely ruined. In fact, the giant
pillar had fallen on everything in its path. Including a Mushroomer.

"Wah!" yelled Luigi as he saw the Mushroomer.

"Finally, somebody came!" the Mushroomer girl said.

"What happened here?" asked Luigi. "And where is everybody?"

"Well, I know where everyone is, so I'll answer that question," she said. "They all went inside of a giant talking tuna when an evil creature came stomping through here. We immediately thought it was Bowser, but his voice was different and he made no attempt at capturing the Princess. Either that or he didn't know where she was."

"WHAT?" screamed an awestruck Luigi.

"Yes," the Mushroomer said. "And when he went to your house, we thought he was good, until he came back out and ordered a giant three-headed snake, a giant mouse with bombs, a giant fireball, a humongous crab, and a robotic Birdo to destroy the town. It was revealed that he was Wart, and when he looked at Merlon's house, he froze in fear and ordered every one of his troops to retreat. Now, could you please get me out of here?"

Luigi tried to pull the Mushroomer out, but it was no use.

"Maybe," said the Mushroomer, "you need to break the pillar. I think that there is a hammer strong enough to do that somewhere around town."

"Okay, I'll try to find it," Luigi responded.

First, Luigi looked around the docks. He jumped over the pillar and looked around, but he found nothing. He jumped back over and looked in the middle of town, starting first in Merlon the Wizard's house. He knocked on the door, but only heard someone say "Nobody's home."

"If nobody's home, then who's talking to me?" said Luigi.

"Umm..." replied the voice. "I am? Fine, you caught me."

The door flew open and nearly whacked Luigi, but he'd dealt with this before in his fake mansion, so he
easily dodged it.

"Hello," said Merlon. "I am Merlon, and who might you be? Wait, don't tell me. I know that you are Luigi, brother of Mario."

"Umm..." stuttered Luigi. "Yes."

"Come in, come in," said Merlon. Luigi and Merlon walked into the house, which strangely wasn't ruined at all.

"Merlon," Luigi started, "why is your house not ruined like the rest of Toad Town?"

Merlon said, "That is a very interesting story. Well, it all started when I was a child. One... I had this
dream....... Wart.......... and...................... ................... Sub................................... grassy..............................  cave
area.............................................................. giant mouse....................... fire-spitting..................................................................... desert, I......................."

Hours later...

"...and that is why I wasn't harmed. Excuse me, Luigi, but are you sleeping?"

"Zzzzzzzzz..." Luigi snored. "Zzzzzzzz... What? Umm, no."

"Okay then. And by the way, I found this hammer, but you can have it."

"." Luigi said. "Ok."

"I've got the hammer!" yelled Luigi as he ran towards the dock and smashed the pillar.

"What took you so long?" asked the Mushroomer.

"Well, I... Hey, aren't you that Zess T. that Mario was talking about?"

"Why, yes, I am," Zess T. replied. "And I think that you should bring me to a hospital of some sort".

"Wait, I'll just give you this Mushroom," Luigi said as he tossed a Mushroom in Zess T's mouth.

"Thanks," Zess T. said. "Here, have this. It's my newest creation, the Blaster Beetle Shell," she said as she held out a Buzzy Beetle shell with a Buzzar Egg on the bottom. "Just get on top of it and it will take you to... somewhere in the sky."

"Umm..." Luigi said. "Thanks. I guess." So Luigi hopped on the shell, and was blasted into the sky.

Chapter 1: A Trip to Nimbus

"Wake up!" someone yelled at Luigi. He could feel something poking him. "Wake up! Come on, Mr. Green, wake up!"

"Okay, I'm awake." Luigi yawned.

"Finally," the person said. "I've been waiting a loooong time."

"And," Luigi said as he opened his eyes to see a cloud-like person with swirly hair, "who are you?"

"My name's Mallow," he replied. "You know, you look very familiar. You look almost exactly like someone I once knew, only you're green, not red."

Hmmm... Is he talking about Mario?  Luigi thought to himself. The name "Mallow" sounds vaguely familiar. I'll ask him. "Excuse me, but does the name 'Mario' ring a bell?" Luigi asked.

"Yes, it does," Mallow replied. "I once went on a great adventure with someone named Mario."

"Did this Mario have a red hat with an 'M' on it and a bushy moustache?"


"Could he jump pretty high?"


"Did he have an arch-enemy named Bowser Koopa?"

"Yes, well, kind of."

"What do you mean kind of?"

"Well, we fought Bowser, but then a giant sword, Exor, dropped down from nowhere and he joined us on our quest."

"Well, then that means that you went on an adventure with my brother," Luigi said.

"Really?" Mallow asked. "Then you must be Luigi. Mario said a few things about you on our journey. So did Bowser and Princess Peach."

"Mallow?" yelled a voice from seemingly nowhere in the room that Luigi was in. "Maaaaallllllooooooooooooowwww!!!"

"Wait a minute, Luigi," Mallow requested. "Yes, Mom?"

"Where are you?"

"In the hospital room!"

"Okay, I'm right near there," the voice said.

Then Luigi and Mallow heard footsteps. The door creaked open, and a bigger marshmallow/cloud walked in.

"There you are, Mallow," she said. "I've been looking all over for you." Then she glanced at Luigi. "Ah, I see our guest has woken up,"

"Yes, Mom, he has," Mallow said. "And did you know that he's Mario's brother?"

"Mario's brother?" Mallow's mom said. "I can see the resemblance!"

"Queen Nimbus!" someone yelled. "Queen Nimbus, where are you? The Royal Family of the Beanbean Kingdom is here!"

"Oh, I must be going!" Mallow's mom said. "I've got important business to take care of!"

And with that, Mallow's mom flew out the door.

"Wait a minute," Luigi said. "Your mom is Queen Nimbus? Mario never told me that you were royalty!"

"He didn't?" Mallow pondered. "Well, I've got to go, too. Bye."

"Hold it right there, Prince Mallow." Luigi said. "I'm coming with you. I KNOW the Beanbean Kingdom Royal Family!"

So Mallow and Luigi went out the door and to the royal throne room.

Chapter 2: New Friends, Old Enemies

The doors burst open and Queen Bean, along with Prince Peasley, Lady Lima and her assistant, walked down the hallway. At the end were King and Queen Nimbus, along with Mallow and Luigi.

"They are in the sight that is of mine, O Great Poppletta," said a strange little ghost by his trusty flying helmet.

"I see them, Fawful," said Poppletta. "And they're exactly where I want them to be."

"Up here in the rafters that do most certainly hold up the castle of this, I would most certainly not like to be drawing of the attention, so say I now will, do not fall to the floor that is hard," said the ghost of Fawful.

"Worry not, Fawful, for I now have the greatest of reflexes ever known to Bean-kind, thanks to Master Wart!" Poppletta replied.

By now the Beanbean royal family had already seen Luigi, who had come out to greet them.

"No, we have not seen any sign of eeither Cackletta, Fawful, OR Popple," said Queen Bean to Luigi. "By the way, how has Mario been?"

"Mario? Oh, he's been fine, until earlier this morning," Luigi replied.

"Why, may I ask why?" asked Prince Peasley.

"Well, he's been kidnapped by Wart."

"WHAT?!" yelled Mallow, Peasley, Queen Nimbus, Queen Bean, King Nimbus, Lady Lima, and Lima's assistant. The reason why all of them know Wart is because of tales that Mario and Luigi had told them of their adventures to Sub-con.

"Excellent," Poppletta said to herself.

"You are to being of rightness, O Great Poppletta," said Fawful's Ghost. "This IS being the time of great excellency!"

"Did you hear something?" Peasley said.

"I am filled with the sorriness!" Fawful's Ghost said.

"It's okay, Fawful," Poppletta said. "This gives me an idea..."

Just then Peasley flew up to the rafters, but before he could notice the two, he was captured. Meanwhile, everyone else except Luigi was in a panic.

"How could this be?" Lima said.

"It's okay!" Luigi said. "I'm already on a journey to save him. I have before. I have a hammer and I can jump even higher than him!"

"Okay," Queen Bean said. "I just wish I could help. Wait, maybe Peasley can!"

"Umm, where IS Prince Peasley?" Luigi asked. Everyone looked where Peasley had been. All they found was a note.

"What's this?" Lima's assistant said. He picked it up and read it. "Dear the people who are to be caring of the Peasley of Princeness. We are to be having him at the moment that is current, and are to being holding him of the hostage at the sands that are to being shifting in the castle of the victim of voice stealingness. Truly of yours, anonymous."

Everyone in the Royal Beanbean Family and Luigi looked at each other.

"Fawful," they all said in unison.

"Who?" Mallow said.

"Fawful, Cackletta's sidekick," Luigi said. "The translation of that letter was Dear Royal Beanbean Family. We have Fawful at Princess Peach's Castle in the Shifting Sand Lands. From, Fawful. He's got a weird way of saying stuff. I'll go, but I wish that I had someone to come with me."

"I'll go," Mallow said.

"What?" King Nimbus said.

"I've gone on an adventure before, Dad, so why should this be any different? And besides, if I want to save Mario, I've got to help out now. I've read about the environment, all of the monsters we'll encounter, how to beat them, and a lot about a bunch of different people. Even non-famous ones!"

"Well..." King Nimbus started. "Okay, but I'll help you get there. Just go to the new blimp in town. It goes to the Mushroom Kingdom, Seaside Town, Monstro Town, Moleville, and soon the Beanbean Kingdom, as soon as we sign the Peace Treaty. But to do that, we need Peasley's signature. We're also thinking about having peace with Sarasaland, but not for a while."

Chapter 3: Don Pianta, The Sequel

When the Nimbus Blimp landed in Rougeport, Poppletta and Fawful's Ghost were in the Rogueport Underground Channels.

"The disgustingness of this channel that is being underground is high as the sky!" said the ghost of Fawful.

"Hey, yo!" said a small Goomba. "What'chu doin' in da' house uv da Goomba Three, yo?"

"What?" said Poppletta.

"He asked you what'chu doin' in our crib, dawg?" said the Paragoomba next to the Goomba.

"I don't understand that street slang that you talk," Poppletta said.

"Ugh," said the Spiked Goomba next to the Paragoomba. "He means what are you doing here?"

"I am not being of understandingness of why did not he just being to say that," Fawful's Ghost said.

"What?" the Goombas three said.

"He said he doesn't understand why you didn't just say that," Poppletta said.

There was a silent pause.

"So, can we go through?" asked Poppletta.

"Not witout a fight, yo!" said the Goomba.


Goomba: 2 HP
Paragoomba: 2 HP
Spiked Goomba: 2 HP
Fawful's Ghost: 20 HP
Poppletta: 40 HP

Fawful's Ghost uses Ram on Spiked Goomba.
Fawful's Ghost: Have you readiness for this?"
Spiked Goomba: 0 HP
Spiked Goomba is out.
Spiked Goomba: That's gonna leave a mark!"

Poppletta uses Shadow Theft on Goomba.
She steals a Mushroom.
Poppletta: I'll be taking that!

Paragoomba uses Sive on Poppletta.
Paragoomba: Take dis', yo!
Poppletta: 39 HP

Goomba uses Headbonk on Fawful's Ghost.
Fawful's Ghost: I will be the mustard of your doom!"
Goomba: 1 HP - Peril!

Fawful's Ghost uses Ram on Goomba.
Fawful's Ghost: Now is when I ram you!
Goomba: 0 HP
Goomba is out.
Goomba: Why ya'll gotta be so mean?!

Poppletta uses Thunderbolt on Paragoomba.
Paragoomba: 0 HP
Paragoomba is out.
Paragoomba: THAT'S gonna hurt in the morning!


"Man, dat hurt!" the Goomba yelled. "We be leavin' now, but we be back! Da' Goomba Three neva' give up, yo!" Then they scurried away.

"They were being at the topness of a mountain of the oddness," Fawful's Ghost said.

Meanwhile, back with Luigi and Mallow...

"Okay, I've been here before, but THAT'S new!" Luigi said.

A giant wall was in front of them, covering half of Rogueport, including the docks, which they needed to go to. On the wall was a sign that said "Property of Don Pianta".

"Don Pianta!" Mallow said. "I've read about him. He owns the west part of town, and has his own game place. I guess we should go there."

So they went to the west side of the town, the more peaceful side, and there they saw Don Pianta's game place, only it was huge. There was a sign next to it that read "The Pianta Parlor. Under new management. It's so big, you can see Glitzville!"

"Wow," Luigi said. "It's huge."

"But what does it mean 'New Management'?" Mallow asked. "Oh, yeah. I forgot about Frankie and Francesca! Silly me."

Then they saw two of the bodyguards.

"Hey, guys!" Luigi said.

"Yeah?" they asked.

"My brother's a friend of Frankie and Francesca, so why don't you let us in?" Luigi said, rather demandingly.

"And who is your brother?" one of the bodyguards asked.

"Mario," Luigi said. "Remember, he found Frankie and Francesca at the docks, and saved them at Keelhaul Key?"

"Oh, yeah, I remember him!" the other bodyguard said. "And I wish we could let you in."

"What do you mean 'wish'?" asked Luigi.

"Didn't you read the sign? It's under new management," said the first Bodyguard. "Don Pianta. Um, 2."

"What do you mean?" Luigi asked.

"Well, some guy got his name changed to Don Pianta. He works for some loon named Wart, and he's not even a Pianta, either." The other Bodyguard said. "He's done good for the Pianta Parlor, but, uh, not so good for the town."

"What with that giant wall," the first one added.

"Can we please go in?" asked Mallow.

"I don't know," said the first bodyguard. "Tell you what, go talk to the Second-in-Command, Ishnail. See if he can help."

"Wait a minute, Ishnail is the Second-In-Command?!" Mallow asked.

"Yep," the first bodyguard said. "They signed a treaty after Ishnail actually saved this money that Mario gave him. He spent it on a big house, got more money, and badda-bing badda-boom, Don Pianta 2 and him signed a treaty."

"Well, we'll see what we can do," Mallow said.

As they went to talk to Ishnail, Poppletta and Fawful's Ghost had found something... big...

"This has the beingness of the Blooperness and the size that is over," Fawful's Ghost said as they saw a gigantic tentacle sticking out of the water.

"Yes, Fawful, but maybe it can help us," Poppletta said. "Give me your helmet."

"Headgear, I am to commanding you to the going to the Master of me who is great," Fawful's Ghost said. Then, Fawful's helmet flew over to Poppletta, and attached itself to her head.

"Now, helmet, make me able to speak Blooper," Poppletta said. The helmet started beeping, and then Poppletta said "Bloo. Bloo Blooper Bloop Bloopbloopa. Bloop Bloop Blop Blooper Bloo Bloo Bloopaler Bloop Bloopess Bloopa's Blooper, Bloop Bloop Bloop Blooper Bloop  Bloop Bloop.

The Translation is, "Hello. My name is Poppletta. If you would escort me and my partner to Princess Peach's Castle, then we will shower you with gifts."

"Blooper. Bloopon!" Then a giant Blooper came out of the water and Fawful and Poppletta hopped on as it
went out of the sewers and into the sea.

Back with Luigi and Mallow...

"Woah," Mallow said as he stared at the gigantic skyscraper with the words "Ishnail Inc." on it.

"That must be as big as The Pianta Parlor," said Luigi as he stared at the immense building.

"So..." Mallow said, "let's go inside."

Read on!

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