The AK Series, Part 1: The Curse of the Seven Boom Booms

By Agahnim Koopa

Part 2: Bowser’s Castle
Chapter 1: Arrival

I had decided that I wanted to see what was happening, and so returned home, to Bowser’s Castle. Rezza came with me. After a short journey along D5, the road connecting the fortress to the castle, we arrived. However, we found a rather surprising twist when we got there. The door had been secured with solid steel, and all the windows were blocked off. Rezza asked me, "What on earth is going on?"

I had no idea, and told him so. We decided to have a look around, to see if there was anything they had missed. Rezza suddenly let out a cry of jubilation.

"Got it!"

Rezza ran around to the back of the castle.

"This is the secret entrance. If they are still locking the place, for whatever reason, they won’t think of here very quickly."

"Where, Rezza? I don’t see any secret entrance."

"Up there."

Rezza pointed up, part way up the castle. There was a door up there, about 10 meters off the ground, covered by a thick layer of steel.


Inside the castle, Bowser was standing by the door, looking scared.

"Lord Bowser, there is no need to be frightened. Once this door is sealed off, there’s no way anything can get out. Why, nothing can get in either," the Koopa Shellster said.

"It’s not things getting out. This is the last door to be locked, right? If somebody wanted to get in, this is their last chance."

Just as the door was about to close, two figures leapt in. Bowser stepped back, and the Shellster grabbed a shell and waved it towards the intruders.

"Stop right where you are. I am armed, and I could throw this at any time. Tell me your purposes or I will open fire."

One of the intruders spoke up. "I am Agahnim Armageddon Koopa, and this is Rezza. Now, put down your shell."


The Koopa Shellster looked shocked.

"AK? Rezza? What are you doing back here?"

"You think we didn't hear about the Boom Booms escaping? We wanted to see things from beside the Koopa King."

Bowser stepped forward once again.

"You are two very foolish boys. Have you not paid attention? One of the Boom Booms, Dois, was imprisoned here. Why do you think we were commencing the lockdown?"

I looked at Rezza.

"Rezza. I’m sorry I dragged you into this. I locked you in a castle with a potential murderer."

Rezza grinned.

"Why are you apologizing? School is so boring, it’s not even funny. Plus, you think I would let you come without me? You’d get yourself killed! You can’t protect yourself from a Chuck thug!"

I grinned back at him. Bowser took a step forward.

"Well, this stirring act of friendship is all very touching, but we have an escaped criminal trapped in here, and we have no way of telling when he might strike. I suggest we go to bed. It’s 11, after all."

Rezza looked up in indignation. "Huh? I’m used to going to bed at 2 in the morning, alternate evenings!"

Bowser grabbed him and hurled him at me.

"First, I’m the King of all Koopas! Be a bit more respectful! Second, I guess that’s why you got Fs in everything apart from sports, huh?"

Rezza stood up and muttered something about biased teachers.

"In any case, we should all get to bed now. I shall lock the rooms you are sleeping in, so a Boom Boom can’t abduct you or something’."

"Abduct me?! I’d bash its face in before it got the chance! That said, where are we sleeping, O Lord?" Rezza inquired.

"AK can sleep in one of the guest rooms. You, however, can sleep on the sofa, since you annoyed me just now."

Rezza swore under his breath. I decided it was about time I went off. I casually mentioned to Bowser that I would choose Room 23, since I was familiar with the castle. I ambled up some stairs and into a reasonably sized room with a bed, a Koopa monarchy timeline, a small minibar, and a bedside table. I poured myself a small nightcap, and went to sleep.

Chapter 2: KTQ

In the morning, I got out of bed and washed. I went down to the living room. Rezza was sitting there, looking tired.

"Bad night?" I wondered out loud.

"Bowser didn’t tell me that the only telephone in the castle was in here. When I was nearly asleep, the phone went off. I think Bowser was ringing himself."

Bowser walked into the living room with a small grin on his face. Rezza gave me a look to say ‘I told you so’.

"Bad night, Rezza? Anyhow, we’ve decided to enact Phase 2 of Koopa Trapped in Quicksand. Just a rhetorical phrase; no real quicksand. We plan to get troops to search every room of this place, and then lock them. There are 100 rooms in this castle. Here’s a list of the types."

Bowser pulled a list out of his shell and handed it to me. Rezza peered at it over my shoulder. It read:

Bedrooms (Ludwig, Lemmy, Roy, Iggy, Wendy, Morton, Larry, Bowser, Clawdia, AK): 10
Entertainment (Cinemas, TV Rooms, etc): 10
Guest Rooms: 30
Sport Rooms: 20
Miscellaneous: 30

Bowser took the map and placed it back in his shell.

"I’m getting troops to do the guest, sport, and miscellaneous rooms. Rezza, you can do the entertainment rooms."

Rezza’s face lit up with glee. "All right, King!"

Bowser, with what seemed to be incredible ignorance, turned to me and said, "You are to do the bedrooms, which shouldn’t take too long. It should also give you a chance to catch up on some old friends, hmm?"

I was tense. I hadn’t got on particularly well with any of my half-brothers or sister particularly well. Rezza, with an evil gleam in his eye, asked why Bowser and Clawdia had separate bedrooms. This resulted in Bowser ordering both of us out of the room to do our jobs, after tossing me some keys.

"You really have no sense of when to quit, do you?" I asked.

"Hey, innocent question!"

Sighing, I headed off for a room which I knew to belong to Ludwig von Koopa.  As I approached, I heard a resounding bang issue from the room, and a scream.

"Vell that certainly vas a velcome change!"

Intrigued, I walked over to open the door, but before I reached it another speech came out.

"AK? Is that you?"

Wondering how he could tell, I entered the room. Instantly, a massive fiery beast loomed towards me. I flinched, wondering why it was here, wishing I had thought to bring the board from my room, and I waved a threatening fist. Then the thing disappeared and I realized that it had been a hologram. Ludwig laughed coldly.

"Sorry. Dad asked for us to concoct something to scare away the Boom Boom if he threatened us. And I thought that a hologram of a beast of mythology known as Hooktail vould do the job nicely, huh?"

I looked at him carefully. He seemed to be quite well, apart from a slight glow in his eyes.

"What’s that in your eye? And how did you know it was me outside your room?"

"Vell, the two questions are oddly linked. I have been recently developing a potion vhich vill give the drinker the power to read the minds of anyone in the vicinity. And, it succeeded just now. The only side effect is luminous green eyes. It helps vith… my problem."

"Your problem?"

"Well, recently it has been discovered that I am…"

I heard him, and fell about laughing. I couldn’t help myself.

"You?! That’s the most ironic thing I’ve heard in my life!"

"Shut up! I vas just eating chocolate one day, when I suddenly threw up. Then I discovered I vas diabetic."

"There’s no cure? Even for you?"

Ludwig mumbled something about working on it.

"Anyway, I was sent to tell you to lock your room. Here’s a key."

I gave it to him, and he agreed to lock it. "Now beat it!"

I left his room, popping back to my room to grab the skateboard; I wasn’t taking any chances with the other guards. From that room, the nearest room was Iggy’s, so I went there.

As I entered the room, I heard a lot of grunting. Entering with skateboard ready to attack, I saw a massive Paratrol lumbering towards me. With the skateboard, I leapt towards it, and it fell over. Baffled, I raised its helmet, and realized the truth. This was a Giant Troopa from Giant Land, stuffed into a Paratrol suit. Obviously Iggy was counting on fear to drive away any intruders. It was a grotesque monster, and it was very clear that Iggy had changed. Before I could consider anything else, a dark figure jumped from the ceiling. It was Iggy, dressed as a Magikoopa. As well as this, he had some large muscles on his arms.

"Stop and stare, fool, for I am Iggy P. Koopa and you are now nothing but a sad little tombstone! I have powers far greater than you can imagine!"

I stared at him. He had obviously grown in power, but could he do magic?

"Iggy? It’s AK."

Iggy dropped his threatening style at once. I asked him why he had done that, and why he looked strong.

"Well, just after you left, my workouts proved effective. I became massive, and I won the Glitz Pit multiple times. Rawk Hawk is really after my blood…" Iggy shook his head, and then smiled. "But, if AK comes, then I answer with haste! What do you want?"

I tossed him a key, which he caught with ease.

"Is that all?"

I nodded. "Bowser sent me to lock your room up."

"Good thing, too, or that overgrown chicken will get me soon!"

Smiling, I left him to his training.

Approaching Lemmy’s room, I heard some shouting. Intrigued, I walked into the room, to be attacked by multiple short swords. The voice rang out again.

"Peng Squad 1! Attack the intruder!"

Suddenly, I realized what was happening. Lemmy had got a small army of Bumpties to attack anybody who entered. As I was being poked (with little or no effect), the leader barked into a walkie-talkie.

"Yes Lemmy, intruder descripton. Quite tall, thin, rainbow shell, green afro, pale skin, is carrying skateboard…"

A sudden yell erupted from the walkie-talkie. The Bumpty paled and addressed me.

"Sorry for the disruption, sir. You may proceed through to Lemmy."

Perplexed, I walked through a concealed door and entered his main room. It was extremely cold and icy, and to start with I saw no Lemmy. But then I looked down slightly and saw him, without his ball.

"Welcome, AK! Welcome! Sorry about the penguins back there. Overly pompous, what can I say?"

"But Lemmy, where’s your ball?"

"Dear AK, did you honestly expect me to ride that thing all my life? No, I abandoned it years ago. How can you expect to impress a girl when you look like a circus performer? And speaking of which…"

A blonde Koopa with bright white teeth entered the room and put her arm round Lemmy.

"May I introduce you to my girlfriend, Katrina. Hot, huh?"

I was shocked. "Opposites attract, huh?"

Lemmy clutched at his heart in an overly exaggerated fashion, while Katrina giggled.

"Arrggh, Agahnim, what have the years done? You’ve become able to insult somebody."

"No, I wasn’t insulting you or your girl. You were obsessed with ice when I left you."

Lemmy looked embarrassed, while Katrina started to laugh even harder.

"Well, that is a turn-up for the books. Still, what’s that on your afro?"

I looked up and tried to look at it. I realized I had been tricked even before I was hit with my skateboard in the face.

"Ha! Got ya! That’ll teach you!" Lemmy exclaimed gleefully.

I brushed my face over, and scowled at him. He grinned again, while Katrina was in hysterics on the floor. I tossed him the key, leaving as quickly as I could.

Chapter 3: How Time Flies

As I approached Larry’s room, I heard nothing. Interested, I entered to find complete and utter blackness. Wondering what was going on, I heard a voice ring out. "Who dares intrude upon my privacy?"

"It’s AK, Larry. Why the darkness?"

"Years back, I was an adventurer, saving my relatives from Mario, who had kidnapped them and was going to hang them. When we got back, I discovered that an attack from an evil Yoshi had, in fact, poisoned me. I am healed, and I am not contagious, but the effect was that it removed one of my eyes. When I discovered how disgusting it was, I retreated into my room and I wish never to be seen by eyes again. However, my remaining eye has become accustomed to the darkness, so you are visible. You look well."

Not wishing to stay, I tossed a key into the inky blackness and left.

Roy’s room had some sort of creaky sound coming from within. Entering, I saw no enemies. Looking up, however, I saw some sharp spikes on the ceiling. However, as if Roy had realized the cliché, they were going upwards. Wondering why that was happening, I looked for a door, to find one locked. Wondering if my memory had been mistaken, I went for the entrance, to find it locked too. Now scared, I looked up at the spikes again, still rising up. As it reached about 50 meters up, the door opened and Roy entered. He had not gained weight, but had lost his muscles. He was holding a small piece of cardboard, which he held up and read from.

"Be prepared to die, stupid intruder, for I am Roy Koopa and those spikes are about to hit your stupid head and crush it. Goodbye."

Roy walked back through the door, and the spikes began to hurtle downwards at an amazing pace. I quickly rammed my skateboard into the door, which buckled. With the spikes about five meters away, I charged into it with my shoulder and it was smashed off its hinges. I quickly dashed into it, seeing the spikes slam into the floor. Roy looked absolutely astounded to see me.

"AK? Wow, you chose a bad time. There was an intruder, maybe one of the Boom Booms, trying to get in."

"You’re thick! That was me!"

Roy looked perplexed, and then smirked. "Well then, no harm done. The spikes would have probably just bounced off your afro."

Grinning, I looked around. The exercise machines that had littered his room when I lived here had long gone, and instead the room was filled with posters of sports stars. Roy had obviously grown bored of working out, and was more interested in TV. He had always been my least favorite half-brother, so I tossed the key into the nearby toilet and walked out with a grin on my face.

As I walked to Wendy’s room, I heard the noise of a Goomba attacking. Thinking what had possessed Wendy to have Goombas as guards, I opened the door, where the most prominent thing was a tape-player. Realizing I had been tricked, I was grabbed by a tentacle and hurled towards a brick wall. Knowing I was about to die, I flipped over and saw a massive Blooper, its tentacles recoiling from the throw. I smashed into the wall, blood pouring into my eyes, but I leapt up and hit the Blooper with my skateboard. He tried to throw me again, but I leapt over it. Suddenly, he tried to do an attack which it uses in the sea to catch prey. Normally what happens is that it launches itself into the air and spirals down to surprise foes. However, it had forgotten about the ceiling here, and so it launched itself up to its own concussion. I walked underneath it (it was stuck in the ceiling) and opened the next door. Wondering what radical change she had undergone, I saw Wendy standing there, looking pretty much the same as when I had left her, only slightly taller. When she saw me, she did a double-take.

"AK? How did you get in here?"

"That Blooper is dumb."

"No, I mean how did you get into the castle? And how did you beat Uber-Blooper for that matter?"

For about five minutes, I told her about how I’d made it inside, and how I had beaten Uber-Blooper. I then tossed her the key and ran, not wanting to be around when the big Blooper awoke.

Morton. The only Koopaling left. After this, only Clawdia remained. My mother. I was so preoccupied with this thought that I hardly noticed myself entering Morton’s room, and needed to think twice about why the room was gradually getting bigger. When I came out of my reverie, I realized that Morton had lay down quicksand. I tried to wriggle out of it, but failed. Then I grabbed my skateboard and pulled it out of the quicksand. I saw a small hole in the wall. I shoved the board in the wall, and pulled. The leverage yanked me directly out of the quicksand. Getting the board out of the wall quickly, I ran through the next door. Morton was standing there, dictating something to a miserable Goomba.

"Therefore, you should use the other entrance to my room to bring me stuff. My pizza is ruined!"

The Goomba ran off in tears. Morton smirked, and then saw me.

"Why, Agahnim, the evil nutter from my childhood! What brings you to my room?"

"Key. And since when did you talk so little?"

"That? I broke that habit months ago. Now, begone! You can use the other door."

I walked out and to Clawdia.

When I entered Clawdia’s room, I saw that a small set of fire seals had been placed around the main door. Wondering how I was to get past them, I held out my board to see if I could find a weak spot, but suddenly there was a faint burning sound and the fire shot out of the doorframe and straight into my skateboard. Holding it wonderingly, I proceeded through the door. Clawdia was sitting down there, reading a book entitled "Graven: A History". She was obviously learning what she was trapped inside a castle with. When she saw I had entered, she held out a page of her book to me. I quickly read it.

The second of the Boom Booms was Dois. He had been a guardian of an underwater fortress, and after Mario escaped became a sailor. After a vicious storm, he was marooned on the same island as Um, who had started to plan his evil plot. The two struck up a close friendship, and with some island resources, made a ship to get them around. On their way to find rebel Boom Booms such as themselves to lead, they recruited miscellaneous militia to help keep their operation secret. Some of these have never been detected, so beware. Anybody could be one.

Dois has brown hair and blue eyes. He is famous for constantly wearing the hat from his old sailor days, a bright red hat with a small picture of a spike. Every Boom Boom also carried a weapon of choice. Dois always preferred a morning star. He had unrivaled skills with it.

Clawdia took the book back.

"AK. How are you doing?"

"Ok, I suppose."

She suddenly turned away and looked into a large glass mirror. It hummed softly and a Hammer Bro. appeared.

"Any news, Hammastar?"

"Yes, ma’am. Rezza Koopa has been lost. We believe that a traitor has locked him in one of the rooms. We are now deciding what we should do about it."

Clawdia turned pale, and shouted, "Unlock all the rooms. We can’t leave somebody locked in!"

Hammastar saluted and the mirror faded. Clawdia turned to me and spoke gently.

"You should go to help find him. They could use somebody with your talents."

Agreeing, I tossed her the key and ran to talk to Bowser. When I got there, he gave me a set of keys to the castle. Telling me to be careful, he left to aid the search.

Chapter 4: Dois

The first room I came to was a room with a loud roar coming from inside. I quickly looked through the massive set of keys to find the right one. While I was doing so, I heard a loud cry from inside, and a voice.

"Please, I beg you. Don’t do this to me."

Finding the right key, I shoved it in the keyhole and pulled. The door slammed open, and, holding my skateboard up, I dashed inside.

It did not look good. Rezza was tied and gagged at the back of a room, which appeared to be some sort of torture chamber. And standing in front of him was… Dois. I looked at him. He had brown hair, blue eyes, and the famous hat. Realizing it really was him, I tried to run, to tell somebody I had found him, but then I saw a mace fly into the handle and jam it. Turning, I saw that Dois had thrown it to bar my escape. He then leapt towards me, spikes extended. He tried to empail me onto a wall, but I leapt over his head and whacked him with my board. It did absolutely nothing to him, and he merely laughed. He then made a gesture with one hand and a Koopa walked out of the shadows. It was Katrina. I yelled out to her.

"Katrina! He’s a Boom Boom! Hide!"

Katrina laughed, but not as she had done before. It was a cold, mirthless laugh which echoed around the room, and made my afro stand on end.

"Foolish hybrid. Surely you don’t think that I wasn’t aware of this? No, I came here long ago to aid him when the time came for escape. Now you are to die here when Graven flies again!"

Realizing that she would not aid me, and would instead hinder me in anyway possible, I leapt towards her and made a slicing motion with the board. It cut across her neck, and made a thin cut across it. She fell over and lay still. Kneeling down, I felt her pulse. She was still alive. Hoping she would live and change her ways, I then took up the fight with Dois.

It began with him picking up a morning star from the armory and spinning it around him. I picked up a red-hot poker and held it like a sword. He then leapt towards me, star spinning crazily. I tried to dodge, and winced when it cut my arm. While holding my arm in pain, I grabbed the poker and hurled it at Dois. It struck him, but it hit on the strong shell that all Boom Booms have. It is impenetrable by all but the very strongest attacks, and the poker just bounced off it. He obviously decided that the star wasn’t enough power for him, and so he picked up three more and made a massive morning star circle around his already near-impenetrable body. Grimacing, I grabbed a sword and inserted it in between the wheels of my board. Leaping towards him, I attacked with a quick uppercut, trying to weave in underneath the incredible strength of the morning stars.

What then happened I still cannot fathom or understand. When I uppercut, I accidentally brushed against one of the morning stars and the sword caught against it. As the morning star turned around Dois’s body, my sword did too, and so I found that I was being flung around the outside of Dois, fastened to one of the morning stars by my board. Wondering what to do, wondering how long I had before Dois realized I was there and threw, I quickly formulated a plan. Quickly, I let go of the board-sword combo, and twisted it 180 degrees around first. The result was that when I hit the wall, the sword was flung directly into Dois.

Roaring with pain, he let go of the stars, which went flying straight into a wall. I pulled them from the wall and spun towards him, trying to box him in. He picked up another two stars and started to spin towards me like a gruesome ballet. We clashed off each other’s defenses, trying to find an opening in the other’s defense. He found it first, and clattered into my already-injured arm. Dropping my weapons in pain, I was struck again, and knocked into a corner. As I lay there, nursing my arm, Dois closed in on me, raising his morning star, ready to attack, bringing it down towards my neck…

But then something else happened. The room started to heat up. Not wanting to see what was happening, I looked past Dois. Rezza was blowing fire, trying to… But what was he trying to do? There was little point in blowing fire here. After all, Dois had been a sailor before he joined the side of evil. But then my hopes increased as Dois, forgetting about the fight, got up and breathed all over the fire. I promptly realized that Dois’s ability was that he could breathe water, and his instincts were to put out fire. Realizing my chance, I grabbed my board/sword combo and thrust it into his back. Dois screamed, ran back, and attacked me once again.

While blocking attacks, I considered my best plan of action. Rezza was still tied up, but he wasn’t gagged, the gag having been burnt off by his fire. Dois was weakening, and I knew that time was being wasted. Katrina had mentioned Graven. Feeling a new sense of purpose, I attacked with increased enthusiasm. Dois, struggling to defend, eventually missed a blow and took an attack to the neck. Collapsing, he began to mutter.

"Listen, I am… N…"

Then the infamous Dois died.

Chapter 5: Departure and Elect

A day later, I found myself at the door of a newly reopened Kastle Koopa. Everyone had come to see me off. However, Katrina had run from the castle as fast as possible. I wondered what would happen to her. However, currently my attention was occupied with having seen Larry. He looked horrible, one eye completely missing. I couldn’t blame him for becoming a recluse. Before I left, Bowser spoke up.

"AK. You have rid us of a terrible enemy, and Rezza has told us about your battle. He tells of how you stuck a sword in your skateboard and attacked with it. Well, we have an inventor working on weapons which transform into everyday objects to avoid suspicion. You have no idea how popular laser gloves are… But, he could easily help you. Maybe he could conceal some other weapons inside your skateboard as well…"

Nodding to the Koopa King, I wandered off from the castle where I had lived for half of my life and towards the home of the scientist.

When I arrived at the house, a small cottage on the edge of the great Cloud Plateau, I knocked. I was answered by a resounding bang and a cry.

"Aww, this one I have!"

Perplexed, I pushed open the door, and saw a massive Thwomp dashing between walls and smashing massive holes in said walls. A small Nipper was dashing between it, trying to stop the Thwomp. As I started to laugh, the Nipper suddenly became massive and ate the Thwomp. Rubbing my eyes, the Nipper then turned into a large Troopa with its shell holding a massive cage. The Thwomp was inside, smashing violently against the bars. I made a move towards the Troopa, who I then told of my mission, and asked why he could transform.

"Well, you see, I am not a creature. I am LE47, a robot made by the esteemed inventor, Dr. Reckay. I can transform, and my inventions can do the same. Now, your skateboard."

Elect picked up my board and examined it.

"Hmm, this should be ok. If I install this feature, then it can turn into any weapon of your choice. Imagine it! Destroying an enemy with a scimitar, and then taking down the next with a rifle. But, I’ll install some other standard features in case that ever breaks. What would you like?"

After giving him a few basic weapons, he asked me to leave so he could work in peace. I left his small cottage, and looked over the edge of the great clouds. I was pleased to be out of the cottage; I am slightly claustrophobic. As I looked back, I heard a massive BOOM and an explosion. Elect went flying into the air, and landed sickeningly on the ground. Then I saw the massive Thwomp break through the wall and over the edge. I understood what had happened. The Thwomp must have broken through Elect’s cage stomach, and caused the explosion. This may sound heartless, but I showed little to no concern for him; I knew he could probably mend himself, so I ran towards the explosion, trying to find my board.

A few moments later, I did. It looked the same as ever, except for four discreet buttons on it. Pressing one, my board transformed into a sword, the steel twinkling in the light of the explosion. Another button made my familiar board transform into a bow. Looking at it, I saw a small compartment beside it for the arrows; a look through showed there was space for thirty. A third button morphed my skateboard into a small rifle, with room for fifty bullets. Then I pressed the largest button on my board. The board shrunk slightly, twisted around, and stopped. I was left holding what was to become my trademark weapon in my battles to come: a boomerang.

Slowly, I turned, and headed towards the tower down, and to the next Boom Boom.

Read on!

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