The AK Series, Part 1: The Curse of the Seven Boom Booms

By Agahnim Koopa

Chapter 1: Mactabilis

Along the Path of Heroes in Dark Land, there lies a great magical castle. This is where every Magikoopa since the beginning of time has studied, and it was where I was to go, for one of the Boom Booms had been imprisoned there. The only problem in this plan was that it would be completely shut down. I had been lucky in getting into Bowserís Castle, but I knew that there was little to no chance of getting into here. Nevertheless, I walked along to the Path. The three panels had been completely closed up, so that the mighty Dominus Hand could not grab people and pull them in. Wondering how on earth I was to get in, how I would ever prove my case, a young Magikoopa walked up to the gates, looked to me, and tutted.

"Yomum amrem stumpimd imf yomun wamnt tom gemt imntom them camstlem thims wamy. Bumt themn, yomum domnít lomomk limkem Mamgimkomompam tom mem. Whom arem yomum?"

Staring at this Magikoopa in amazement, I said clearly, "I donít understand you."

"Wememl themn, yomum camnít bem am Mamgimkomompam. Nomw, them kemy tom umndemstamndimng them Mamgimkomompam lamngumamgem. Amftemr emvemry vomweml, wem pumt amn M. Hemlps tom comnfumsem them omthemrs Shemllimems. Bumt wamimt. Why amm Im temllimng yomum amll thims? Temll mem whom yomum arem, omr Im wimll himt wimth them mimghty pomwer of them Emnemrgemnime!"

Feeling more confused after his explaination, but scared of the incantion he was muttering darkly, I yelled out my causes to kill the Boom Booms. He stopped muttering and beamed.

"Remamlly? Imn whimch camsem, Iímm remamdy tom hemlp imf yomum nememd it. I am Mamctambimlims. Amnd yomum amrem?"

I asked him again how to understand his speech. He wrote something down on a piece of paper, and passed it to me.

"ĎAfter every vowel, we put an M."

Understanding his mysterious talk, I asked, "How do we get in?"

"Wemll, Im hamvem omnly remcemntly gramdumamtemd. Im amm jumst remtumrnimng tom pimck ump my stumff. Themrem ims am spemll tom gemt pemomplem imnsimdem, bumt Im camnít commplemtemly trumst yomum yemt. Promvem tom mem thamt yomum arem gomomd, amnd Im wimll lemt yomum imn."

Cursing the Magikoopa who I had made out to be Mactabilis, I walked off. How was I supposed to prove that I wouldnít blow the castle open at the first chance? Wondering what to do, I suddenly saw a slightly overweight Magikoopa walking along towards the metal gates, being trailed by some nervous-looking young Koopa Troopas.

"Now then, the way into the MTC is through these gates. Unfortunately, the Boom Boom's escape means that it has been locked up. The spell to get in is Sesameus! Now, all touch me or someone else who is touching me."

Everybody crowded around the Magikoopa. As I watched, I saw a small female with red hair. She looked at me in amazement, and then sneered."Sesameus!"

The entire thong of trainees and tutor vanished into thin air. Seizing my chance, I turned to Mactabilis.

"Youíre the only person I need to get in, you know. I could have massacred them and it wouldnít have made a difference. I didnít kill them, so that means Iím safe."

Mactabilis thought for a few moments.

"Famimr emnomumgh. Tomumch mem tom gemt imn."

I loosely grabbed his robe. Mactabilis then spoke. "Semsammemums!"

The spell, oddly, seemed not to notice the dialect in which the spell was spoken. I felt myself being stretched out, saw Mactabilis being shrunk, watched as the blackness of my surrounding pulsated, and then I shrunk, Mactabilis grew and we stopped spinning by a small castle. I was there.
 

Chapter 2: The Castle

Mactabilis looked forlorn as we entered. "Im shomumld nomt hamvem bromumght yomum hemrem. Nomn-mamgimcaml fomlk, omr Shemllimems, amrem tremamtemd wimth comntemmpt. Yomum sumrem abomumt thims?"

"Yeah. I need to kill Cinco. You know that."

Mactabilis looked at me pityingly, and opened the door. The Magikoopas smiled at Mactabilis, but when they saw me, they began to mutter. One of the larger ones actually walked up to me and charged up a large spell. I was caught, hard, in a prison made of dirt and soil. Pressing a button on the board, I picked up my ridiculously large sword and cut at the earth that was engulfing me. A few loose stones fell from the cage, but it remained intact.

"You are aware of how stupid you look, right?"

I spun around. A small Magikoopa, but with a wand that covered his body, was approaching me.

"Why are you here? What do you want? And why does Mactabilis look so shifty?"

All eyes turned to Mactabilis, who indeed was trying hard to dodge the small Magikoopaís gaze. Realizing he was caught, he spoke, but without the Ms."Brevis. Donít fire me. Please. This is AK. He came to kill the Boom Booms imprisoned in here. Heís already killed one, havenít you?"

I nodded, and spoke of my battle with Dois. Brevis didnít look particularly impressed, however. A trainee spoke up, and I saw with a jolt that it was the same redhead I had seen before.

"You! You killed my family!"

Brevis turned around sharply, and asked her who she was.

"Rita, sir. Rita Hiemalis."

"He killed your family, Rita?"

"Yep. Came right in with that great sword of his, and slit their necks. Came here to train to avenge my folks, yíknow?"

She shot daggers at me. Brevis turned to stare at me.

"Itís a lie! Apart from some genocidal freak, Iíve never killed anybody!"

Brevis obviously didnít believe me. He made a motion, and I was dragged onto an odd, small platform on wheels. As I wondered what they were doing, they then cast the earthen prison on me once more, but these magicians were obviously more adept; the prison was made from stone and brick rather than soil. Then, five Magikoopas grabbed the platform and wheeled it away. They stopped me inside another cell. You had to admire their system. Even if someone had broken through the first cell, they would be exhausted, fall, be caught before they got anywhere, and reimprisoned in the stone cell.

Brevis, who had walked down with them, was smirking. "Trying to kill the Boom Booms, but canít defeat us? I find your incredible optimism disturbing."

Brevis walked out of the cell, the other Magikoopas following. I was left alone.
 

Chapter 3: The Great Escape

Hours later, I was still trapped inside. There had to be a way to escape. I looked around my surroundings. A fire alarm was on the wall outside my cell, and there was a power socket beside it. That could probably take down the outer cell, but I still had to escape the stone one. Desperately looking around again for something else to aid my escape, but not seeing anything, I moaned. I would be here forever. But then it clicked. A way to escape. A way to do what had never been done before and escape the two-cell imprisonment that has made the Magikoopa race a legend.

I grabbed the board, and changed it into a sniper rifle. Taking aim at the fire alarm, I shot it. The glass broke open, and water drenched the prison cells. Quickly changing my board into the sword again, I smashed the cell straight open, it having been weakened by the torrents of water. I then threw a piece of metal I had salvaged from the wheels, and threw it at the power socket. It conducted the electricity and buzzed with the electricity running through it. Picking it up with the edge of the skateboard, I held it against the bars of the prison. It burnt through them quickly and easily, and I slipped through. I was back in business.
 

Chapter 4: Crocodile AK

I walked through the dusty corridors of the castle, unsure of where the Boom Boom might dwell. Unlike my similar stake-out in Bowserís Castle, I knew that I now had two things to worry about: the Boom Boom, and my magical captors. Walking around the castle, a banging, wailing sound came from within one of the doors. Wondering if my journey through the castle had ended much faster than I had expected it to, I opened the door and looked inside. I found a large swamp, and a creature lurking within it. Wondering what it was and why it was lurking here, it suddenly leapt out of the murky swamp waters and stood on two hind legs. It was an enormous alligator, carrying aÖ magic wand. Watching in amazement and horror, I stood paralyzed. The thing was about five times my height (which is no minor thing; Iím pretty tall) and roaring. It then waved the wand at me and something else large emerged from the musty waters. It was a gigantic shark, but on closer examination, it had two heads and spikes on the side of it. It leapt out of the waters of the swamp, trying to attack me. I quickly dodged it, and it fell back under the waters. It leapt again, but this time balanced on one of its heads. I took the chance to attack. I loaded a bullet into my rifle, and shot. The shot powered straight into the sharkís heart, supposedly dealing a death blow, but it was well-prepared. From the wound sprung a small, pink thing. It extended, and a lump appeared on the end. The lump increased in size slowly, until it was obvious what had happened. The creature had been made so that it would sprout an extra head from any injury point, a bit like the Hydra. How was it defeated? I racked my brains. The hero Hercuser had lit a fire on their severed necks so that they couldnít grow, and buried the last one under a rock. I could do something similar.

I saw a burning torch on one side of the room, as far from the swamp as you could get. Loading an arrow up, I fired it straight through the flames, igniting it. It hit the shark-beast, and set it on fire. It roared in pain and collapsed. The crocodile beast emerged from the swamps once again, and looked around in shock. It suddenly spoke.

"You. Defeat. Shark?"

"You can talk? What are you?"

"Me. Magikoopa. Transformed. Into. This. To. Guard. Boom. Boom. Attack. Anyone. Who. Enters. You. Must. Be. Destroyed."

The alligator waved his wand again and a loud rumbling came from the ground. A titanic Mega Mole emerged, and charged at me. I quickly dodged it. It ran up the wall and remained stuck to the ceiling. Then it started to pull boulders from the badly fashioned roof and throw them down. The roof would obviously soon collapse if he wasnít killed, and fast. Loading up the boomerang, I threw it at the ceiling, hoping to bring it down that way. The boomerang managed to grab a rock from the ceiling but got stuck, refusing to move. Great. The mole threw another boulder down, and I quickly picked it up. Struggling to carry the immense weight, I threw it up to the creature on the roof. It yowled out and fell down, landing beside me. The roof made an ominous cracking sound, and the ledge that the board was stuck on fell off. Grabbing the boomerang, I pressed a button and transformed it into the sword. Letting out my own scream, I leapt towards the mole. Up, down, sideways pounceÖ The thing was much more agile than it appeared. After a while, it tried grabbing boulders and throwing them at me, but my sword cut through them like butter and it soon gave up on that strategy. After another session of the deadly dance, it tried something new. Leaping upwards, it landed on the ground with a dull thud and remained still. Some rocks fell from the ceiling. Quickly, I dodged them and attacked again. One of the rocks, I saw out of the corner of my eye, fell into the waters of the swamp. The mole then opened his mouth. A large spew of pebbles, rocks, and boulders came flying from it. One of them flew into my torch and set the stone alight. I was going to duck, but suddenly my skateboard whirred into action. It stood up on its own accord, and sucked the flames straight from the stone. The stone stopped in midair and fell. Looking at my board in confusion, I wondered if it might have been something installed by LE47. But no...

When I entered Clawdiaís room, I saw that a small set of fire seals had been placed around the main door. Wondering how I was to get past them, I held out my board to see if I could find a weak spot, but suddenly there was a faint burning sound and the fire shot out of the doorframe and straight into my skateboard. Holding it wonderingly, I proceeded through the door.

I was distracted by the stones. I set a bullet flying through one stone, which split it in half. The bullet, coated in teflon, kept flying, straight into the mole. The mole roared, and collapsed. Annoyed that the long battle had been closed so effectively, I looked back at the swamp. The waters rippled, but then there was a loud noise and a crack. Obviously, the beast had cracked its skull on the rock that had fallen onto the swamp. Just as I was about to leaveÖ there was a great splash of water and another shape emerged from the swamp. I looked at it. It was a Boom Boom. Cinco.
 

Chapter 5: Cinco

He leapt towards me, eyes flashing from insanity. I quickly dodged, and looked him over. He was carrying a scimitar that had small, rather nasty spikes on the sides of it. He had black dreadlocks and a face that had a massive circle of scars encircling it. It looked as thought someone had tried to cut his whole face out. He was dripping in a nasty, green fluid, which I had no desire to find out about. The scimitar suddenly flashed, and let out a concentrated beam of blue light. This beam flew around me and formed an identical scimitar, which Cinco quickly grabbed. After this, he ran towards me, both scimitars flashing. Dodging, I unearthed my own mighty sword. I struck one of his scimitars, and it flashed blue once again. There was a split-secondís pause, and then Cinco started to vibrate at a fast pace. A shadow of him appeared, and it moved apart from him. It then picked up a shadowy scimitar of its own and the two forms attacked me once again.

Dodging the incoming blows from Cinco and what I understood to be his clone, I transformed the board into my favorite toy, a boomerang. Throwing it, it grabbed the shadow scimitar and took it back to me. Striking it against a wall, it flashed and vibrated at a fast pace. I began to shake as though I was having a spasm, and then I saw a blackened version of myself appear. It was an exact replica, and I wondered who had done it; Cinco didnít look like a scientist. My shadowy doppelganger then formed its own weapon with a blink of its eyes, and moved in on the clone of Cinco. I focused on the original. Taking the rifle, I fired two bullets. One sped towards into Cincoís heart; the other into his face. I was convinced the threat was contained, but then the unexpected occurred. The Cinco duplication leapt into the path of the bullets, and took them both. The bullet which was meant to speed into the heart was absorbed by the black folds of skin, but the face wasnít up to such power. What happened next I only wish to forget, but I must tell it. The bullet zoomed into the face, which was encircled by scars. The bullet knocked the face clean out of the head. The shadowy face lay on the floor in front of me. Cinco suddenly jerked on the floor; the scars on his face were shaking, as thought they wished to break free and let the face join the one belonging to the clone currently lying on the floor. The shadowy form, however, could not die until the original fell with it, and so it had to continue with its gruesome mutilation. With no face, it had no idea where it was, but it knew to kill. It still had the scimitar. My clone was unperturbed, and attacked the original in light of its new knowledge. I joined my black doppelganger in attempting to destroy Cinco. Cinco suddenly raised his blue scimitar and let out a cry. There was a great flash of shocking blue light, and yet another clone appeared from thin air. I ran them over. Cinco was exhaling heavily. He also seemed to have shrunk. I understood in a flash of inspiration. This was a powerful magical spell that let you create a clone of yourself. But it was not indefinite. The spell must require a sacrifice of some of your own body flesh, and doing it repeatedly would make the original fade away slowly. It was obviously happening to Cinco now.

Quickly, I ordered my clone to attack Cinco. With us both pummeling him, it wasnít long before he collapsed. His clone disappeared and the scars that had been threatening to break free finally did. His face fell on the floor. The blue scimitar that he had carried with him up to his untimely death lay on the floor. It was obviously going to be a valued weapon on my journey. I pocketed it. Just then the walls surrounding the swamp detonated, and five massive creatures waded through them. They were massive yellow giants, with ghostly bottoms. Their faces were alight with joy, oddly. Behind each one was two Magikoopas, faces contorted with concentration. When they entered the room, the magical ones gasped. One of the giants leapt into the swamp and brought up the crocodilian corpse. His jaw had been pushed open, and I realized; Cinco, horribly, had been fed to the creature, and the concussion must have opened its jaw. Cinco had leapt out to attempted freedom. One of the Magikoopas spotted me, saw the body and face of Cinco lying on the stained ground, and put two and two together. He started to applaud. The others, possibly more up-to-date with my status, didnít. One gave a harsh word to the mammoth genie, and it grabbed me with massive arms. It threw me, headfirst, towards a wall. I struck the wall nastily, and passed outÖ
 

Chapter 6: Revelation

When I woke up, I was surrounded by Magikoopas. These ones were smiling, however. As I stood up, I reached for the skateboard that was lying by my side. They watched me with amusement. One of them spoke up. "Wem comngramtumlamtem yomum. Yomum kimllemd Cimncom."

I still held out my gun threateningly. "Ok, thanks. First, I want some answers. Someone who knows about this stuff needs to help me, ok? And stop that stupid speech impediment!"

Brevis, the Magikoopa Iíd seen before, came rushing in.

"Ok, first off. My skateboard can absorb fire attacks. Why?"

Brevis picked it up carefully, turned it back to normal, and looked at it.

"Ah-ha! Your skateboard was made by a Magikoopa reject, who was adept with fire. He made everything of his invulnerable to flames. You know, we seem to teleport? Most of the time, itís an illusion. We cloak ourselves and wait for a cloaked one to reveal themselves. If we didnít have this flameproof armor, Mario could launch fire at us and we would combust."

"Who was the crocodile?"

"That was our previous master. When the Boom Boom arrived, he volunteered to be transformed and then was fed Cinco. Itís a big shame that heís gone. He was a worthy addition to the list of Magikoopa masters."

"Rita. She tried to tell lies about me to get me imprisoned. Where is she?"

Brevis looked over to the Magikoopas. "Check the castle. I want Rita Hiemalis found!"

The Magikoopas ran off. I then continued. "Cinco had a blue scimitar. He created clones with it. I have the blackened scimitar. I made a clone with it. My clone didnít look exactly pleased when he left."

Brevis gasped, and left the room, screaming, "Back in a second!"

I couldnít really do anything else. When he came back, he was holding a massive book, called Boom Booms and Their Weapons. He rifled through it, and stopped. He then thrust it in front of my nose.

"Look!"

I obliged.

"Cinco," I read, "was a desert-dweller. He was born by the great pyramid, which gave him great magical prowess. His weapon was a scimitar, which was blessed by the great god Afronzo by it being buried in the soils of the great monument. This gave it the power of cloning. The original is blue, and it can be used to make clones of you, in shadow form and with shadowy scimitars of their own. Each clone saps some of your own strength, however. Using the blackened scimitar creates a clone of you without any loss of power, but there is a big hitch. After a little while, your clone will leave you with the powers of teleportation, and will turn against you in everything you do. It will remain until you die. If the clone has nothing, it is no real threat. If it has a scimitar, however, it can create even more clones of itself, and they will all join him. You may have an army on your hands before you know it. All Clone Scimitars are classed as Class A illegal weaponry, due to the fact that they could easily trigger Armageddon."

I stood, shocked. I could hardly believe what I had just done. I was interrupted by the sounds of scurrying feet. The Magikoopa scouts entered the room.

ĎWe searched every nook and cranny of this place, sir. No sign of her. In the cafeteria, however, we discovered a tunnel. Itís extremely likely she tunneled out."

Brevis smiled. "Station Magikoopas near the Dominus Hands. When they see her, capture her. Alive if possible, unless you canít resist."

The Magikoopas nodded, and left again. Brevis turned to me. "In all the gloom and despair, we have forgotten your magnificent victory! Where do you plan to go next, Agahnim?"

I thought for a moment.

"In the sunken depths of Water Land, a Boom Boom is being held by the Cheep Cheep leader, Moonbarra. I must go down there."

Brevis nodded, saying I should take something. He picked up what looked like a bubble and placed it on my head. It seemed to evaporate.

"This is a Hydro Bubble. When you must dive into water, it will form an air bubble around you, letting you breathe indefinitely. This is a new version, also, which lets you walk about on the ocean floor without any of the standard effects brought about by water; that is, you will walk as though you were on land."

Thanking Brevis, I left the Magikoopa Castle, and headed to the next Boom Boom.

Read on!


 
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