Chapter 2: The Moonstone Ghost
Iggy and Lemmy are seen in an area of Moondust Fields.
Lemmy: Practicing Bros. Techniques is awesome! Way better then those Mario and Luigi ones!
Iggy: Yeah… Hey, what's that?
They look up into the sky and see something yellow and something purple shooting down toward the ground.
Iggy: Hey! Shooting stars!
Lemmy: Make a wish, Iggy.
Iggy: I wish Roy would go beat up Ludwig instead of me!
Ludwig: What's wrong, Roy?
Roy jumps on Ludwig…
PLEASE STAND BY
The Amazee Dayzees are back on, and one decides to practice Lullaby. Then they all fall asleep, except for the one who sang, who then takes out a cigarette, smokes it, drops it on the ground, and leaves. Huge flames pop up behind the sleeping flowers.
(Great, we need a back up screen for the back up screen…)
Back with Iggy and Lemmy…
Lemmy: Wait, those aren't shooting stars! They just hit the ground!
Iggy: They might be… alien life forms!
A pause, then…
Iggy: You want to go check it out?
Lemmy: Meh, I guess so…
Meanwhile, on the other side of Moondust Fields…
Waluigi: Ow! That hurt… Hey, where’s Wario?
Wario: Underneath you…
Wario pops up underneath Waluigi, practically squishing him.
Waluigi: OW! That hurt even more!
Wario: Quit being such a wimp! So, I guess this is Moondust Fields…
Waluigi gets up and looks around. Most of the ground is covered with rocks shaped like the moon.
Waluigi: Why do you think they called it that?
Wario: I don’t know, but let’s hurry up to Old Man Scienstein and his new girlfriend! It’s going to be payback time when I’m done with them!
???: Wait… Please!
A very weakened Shy Guy comes crawling up to them. Part of his mask is chipped.
Shy Guy: You… You must find Master Wart for us! He must be… on the other side of the border! Please find him!
Wario: Why should we?
Shy Guy: Oh, come on! He’s probably right on the way to wherever you were going! Just help him out when you find him.
Waluigi: Well, I don’t know…
Shy Guy’s mask cracks, then falls off…
Wario, Waluigi, and Narrator: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Shy Guy: What? Is there something on my face?
I wish I had that new censor screen ready! And while I’m freaking out, Wario and Waluigi run off to the border, which is basically a house with the giant words “BORDER” on it. They stop inside to catch their breath.
Waluigi: That was the worst thing I’ve ever seen! And I’ve seen you in the morning!
Wario: Yeah, tell me about it! And I thought there was nothing worse than me in the morning!
Waluigi: So… That’s the border line, eh?
There’s a line that goes right across the room in front of them.
???: That’s right! And you can’t cross it!
Wario and Waluigi: Huh?
Suddenly, red, black, green, and blue Koopas dressed up as ninjas drop from the ceiling.
Koopas: We are… THE KOOPA BROS!
They strike a pose.
Koopa Bros: Uh-huh! Oh yeah! We’re the coolest of the cool!
Waluigi: (whispering) I think they mean "lamest of the lame"!
Red: I heard that! Just who do you think you are, calling the Super-Cool Koopa Bros. lame?!
Wario: Who wants to know?
Red: Uh, we do? ‘Cause we just asked!
Wario: I’m Wario!
Waluigi: And I’m Waluigi! I’m number one!
Wario: Next to me! I’m number one and a half!
Red: Pfft! You guys thing you’re so hot, don’t you? Well guess what? No one’s hotter then the Super-Cool Koopa Bros!
Green: That’s right!
Yellow: I thought we were the Ultra-Mega Koopa Bros.
Red: That was LAST week, Bro! Get with the times!
Yellow: Yeah, come on, I’m just as cool as you guys!
Red: I never said you weren’t cool. (to himself) Although I sure am thinking it.
Wario: Whatever, I don’t need some loser Koopas telling me how cool they think they are. Let's go, Waluigi!
Red: Not so fast! You can’t cross the border line!
Wario: Why not?
Red: Because I said so! So nah!
Waluigi: Well, you got to allow some people in.
Red: Why should we?
And then Waluigi goes into this in depth conversation about politics, trade, and other important things about immigration and trade. Seeing as this is too boring for readers, let’s all sit down quietly… and watch a couple of episodes of the Mario Super Show!
A couple of minutes later…
Stupid Mechakoopas have to blow up the TV! Well, now it seems that they are fighting on what they will do!
Yellow: I have an idea! Let’s play a game!
Green: YEAH! I choose football!
Black: I’m in for hockey!
Waluigi: The limbo!
Wario: NO! You should’ve done that at the fiesta on the Wart Cruiser!
Waluigi: Aww… Fine… Skiing…
Red: Okay, we’ll pick by eenie meanie minie moe.
A few minutes later…
Red: It’s decided! Football, hockey, wrestling, and soccer are out!
Green, Black, Wario, and Waluigi: WHAT?
Red: We’re playing Dodgeball!
Everybody starts to fight, and the narrator gets body slammed. I quit!
Authors: Well, Pokey gets the job!
[A side note from Paperlemmy: Ref Guy is my own personal, self-created Mario character. You can also see him at Toad’s Castle! There’s a link to it in Lemmy’s Links!]
Ref Guy: Let the game begin! Koopa Bros. first!
Yellow: You’re going down, tubby!
Pokey: Yellow throws the ball at Wario. Wario catches it in his fat. That’s cool… *sigh *
Ref Guy: Wario Bros' ball, Yellow is out!
Pokey: What he said…
Red: No fair! He didn’t really catch it! It just landed in his f-
Pokey: A speeding ball into the head cuts off Red. And stay in school… Green gets the ball and throws to Waluigi. Waluigi catches it. Don’t do drugs…
Ref Guy: Red and Green are out!
Pokey: Ditto… Waluigi throws at Black and Black catches it…
Ref Guy: Waluigi is out!
Pokey: The tall man is out… Black throws the ball at Wario and Wario gets hit.
Ref Guy: Wario is out!
Pokey: Black wins the game… Yay…
Wario: We lost?
Red: HA! See my skill?
Waluigi: Black won for you!
Red: No, I um… just um… dressed up in black for the game!
Waluigi: YEAH RIGHT!
Red: You still lost! And you can’t get past!
Wario: Wait a second! The item!
Pokey: Wario takes out the Sliced Onion… Everyone starts crying. Brush your teeth, kids…
Red: You hurt me in the head! *sniff*
Black: I had a lot of *sob* pressure on me at the final throw!
Yellow: I want my mommy!
Pokey: So do I… Hey, can I go home, I’ll give you this map!
Wario: FINE! We don’t need you anyways!
Pokey drops the map and walks away.
Wario: I hope it’s a treasure map!
Map- A map of Strangeland. There is a big X on it right next to the Koopa Bros. Fort! Wario hopes it leads to treasure!
Green: I always get stabbed in the belly when we play pirates… *sob * AND IT HURTS! BOO HOO!
Wario and Waluigi sneak past, and start digging really fast!
A few minutes later, where there’s a big hole in the ground…
Waluigi: Hey, maybe we should go to the X first and start digging!
Wario throws Waluigi up, and Waluigi, with his stretchable arms, grabs Wario and pulls him up.
They start digging, and they see a pink bag! Waluigi opens it and finds five Moonstones!
Moonstone- The currency of Strangeland. However, the Beans would rather chew on them than spend them, seeing why many of the residents around Cavityville Castle have the disease called the Pods.
Wario: All we get is a pink bag?
Waluigi: Well, the stones may be valuable!
Wario: You’re right! Let’s save them! 100 should be enough!
Wario and Waluigi walk around the corner and see that they are on a big cliff.
Waluigi: Umm, I don’t think we can get down there, Boss.
Wario shoves Waluigi off the mountain.
Waluigi: AHHHHHHHH!!! OOF!
Waluigi gets up and hears a noise.
Waluigi: Hey, wait, what’s that?
Waluigi suddenly spots a strange green hairy thing sticking out of what looks like a cannon.
Waluigi: It’s either a Fuzzy, a Koopa with an Afro, or Wart’s eyebrow… WAIT! How could it be that big?
King Boo: Must be allergies. Oh yeah, BOO!
Waluigi: WAH! Well, umm, we need him, so can you give him back?
King Boo: Not over my dead body!
Waluigi: Aren’t you already dead?
King Boo: Be quiet! Now there is one thing that I DO want!
The cannon grows larger.
Waluigi: Hoosho… Moonstone!
Waluigi runs halfway up the mountain, and sees Wario digging in the hole they made between the fort and the X.
Waluigi: We need Moonstones to free Wart!
Wario: Really? I found four bags on those stupid Koopas, and one right here! We have 30 Moonstones!
Waluigi: Let’s give King Boo 100!
Wario: Okay, let’s look over there!
After a few minutes of walking on what seems to be a treadmill, past a reccurring backround, the Wario Bros. come to a bridge. Two Bullet Bill mini-rockets fly past the Wario Bros. The Wario Bros. both have stuffy noses, so they just sit and pick their noses.
Goombario: This mini-rocket is so cool!
Goombella: I’m gonna get off, we’re getting close to the wall.
One Bullet Bill stops and falls to the ground. Goombella walks off.
Goombario: You chicken! We just have to turn the steering wheel right before we get to the wall!
Goombella: I would, but we don’t have hands!
Goombario: Oh yeah! OH NO!!!
Goombario is seen injured badly, Wario and Waluigi are laughing.
Waluigi: I guess we were wrong! He DOES have guts!
Goombella: GUYS! We gotta do something! Can you hire a doctor? I’ll give you ten moonstones!
Waluigi: We’ll be looking!
Wario and Waluigi run off.
Wario and Waluigi: NOT!
Wario: We need ten more!
Waluigi: LOOK! OVER THERE!
A big huge shrine is seen, with a statue of a rubber ball next to it.
Wario: What’s with the thing?
Waluigi: What thing?
Wario: The shrine!
Waluigi: You just answered your own question.
Wario: Why do we always have such lame conversations?
Just then, a net falls on them. Iggy and Lemmy come running out of the shrine.
Iggy: All right! We caught the aliens!
Lemmy: Be gentle with it. You know what happened last time…
Last time Iggy had an alien…
Iggy: More tea, Mr. Alien?
The alien blows up.
Back in the present…
Iggy: How was I supposed to know that alien was allergic to tea?
Lemmy: Oh, wait. These aren’t aliens. It’s just the fat guy and the skinny weirdo from those Mario Party games.
Wario: We’ve been in more games then that.
Iggy: Maybe you have…
Lemmy: Well, as long as you’re here, we’ll teach you our special Bros. moves.
Iggy and Lemmy drag Wario and Waluigi in with the net. Inside, there are restaurants and gift shops with products related to the shrine.
Wario: What in the world is all this stuff?
Iggy: This is the Shrine of Bros. attacks!
Waluigi: That sounds stupid.
Lemmy: Yeah, but people have been training as twosomes here for centuries, and in the meantime, sold lot of cheesy stuff here, too.
The four of them walk into a special room, where there are a lot of ridges. Iggy and Lemmy let the Wario Bros. out of their net.
Waluigi: Now let’s get them!
Lemmy: Hold it! We’re going to help you, you numbskulls.
Pokey: Don’t call people names.
Wario: Who asked you?
Pokey: No one.
Waluigi: So beat it.
Iggy: Now, we have just been practicing special Bros. moves here-
Lemmy: Since we’re such good brothers!
Iggy: Now we feel you should learn them too!
Lemmy: We’ll start with the Bouncy Bros! Do you guys have anything bouncy?
Wario: I’m your guy.
Lemmy: Okay, now watch carefully.
Iggy stand in back of Lemmy, who’s been balancing on his ball this whole time but I was too lazy to mention it.
Lemmy: First, the guy in back of you jumps on you.
Iggy begins to jump.
Lemmy: Then you bend your knees, and…
Iggy lands on Lemmy and they both bounce high in the air.
Lemmy: And that’s the Bouncy Bros! Now you try!
Waluigi gets in back of Wario. Waluigi jumps, Wario bends his knees, and then they both jump so high that Waluigi hits the ceiling. His head gets stuck in the ceiling.
Lemmy: Ow, that’s got to hurt.
Wario: Just leave him there.
Iggy: Now it’s time for the Twisty Bros! Can any of you spin a lot without getting dizzy?
Wario: Waluigi can. He spun around so much in Mario Power Tennis, and he only threw up once.
Waluigi falls from the ceiling.
Waluigi: I found five Moonstones!
Iggy: Good for you. Now, anyway, for the Twisty Bros, spin around really fast like so.
Iggy spins around.
Iggy: Next, you jump into the air.
Iggy jumps in the air, but doesn’t come down.
Lemmy: Then quickly grab his legs and…
Lemmy grabs his legs and they hover around for a little. Then Iggy stops and lands.
Iggy: Now you try.
Waluigi spins around and jumps. Wario grabs his legs and together, they hover off to another room.
They enter a room and see Ludwig with a huge machine. Wario and Waluigi drop down to the floor.
Waluigi: Spinning in the air is just too much! Excuse me while I gag!
Waluigi goes over to a small, pink bucket, but gets five Moonstones out.
Wario: Okay, so why are YOU here?
Ludwig: To get away from Roy. He wants to beat me up lately…
Ludwig: But I found a new invention! The Duplicator!
Wario: So it divides things by half.
Ludwig: NOPE! There’s no chocolate, so I tried something new, Skittles! Since then, I’ve been making accurate inventions!
Wario: HEY! I saw chocolate over by the bridge…
Ludwig runs out the door.
Wario: Too simple!
Wario puts his 50 Moonstones in the machine, and takes out 100!
Wario: Okay, you ready, Waluigi?
Waluigi: I guess…
Wario and Waluigi walk back into the other room.
Iggy: Welcome back.
Lemmy: Well, that’s all the moves we know.
Iggy: As an added bonus, you can also use new moves in battle!
Lemmy: Yes, it is a long and complicated procedure!
Iggy: But you can figure it out on your own!
Lemmy: Yeah, because we charge for the hour, and your lesson took two hours!
Wario and Waluigi: WHAT?!
Iggy: That will be 50 coins!
Lemmy: But because we like to torture our customers, we’re going to let these Fighter Flies take them!
A huge group of Fighter Flies shows up and surround them. They carry Wario and Waluigi out, and take the coins they got from Mouser’s wallet… AND THEIR MUSTACHES!
Wario: No! My precious mustache!
Waluigi: Wait. Didn’t we get something in Chapter 1 for this situation?
They look back at Chapter One and remember the Ink in their suitcase. They take it out and paint their mustaches back.
Wario: What’s SP?
Waluigi: I’m going to assume that means ‘Stache Points.
Wario: What do they do?
Waluigi: Who cares, we got 100 Moonstones, I think. Let’s get back to Wart.
Wario and Waluigi are finally back to the cannon.
King Boo: It's you!
Waluigi: You know each other?
King Boo: No, but I can tell that I will hate him!
Waluigi: NOT POKEMON!
King Boo and Wario: *sigh*
King Boo: Hand over my Skittles!
Waluigi: Skittles? What about Moonstones?
King Boo: Moonstones? OH! Wart's sneeze tricked me that way too! Hand over some Skittles!
Wario: We don't have any!
King Boo: I'll just have to fight ya!
Time to fight! It’s about time!
King Boo: I’ll start things off with
my Chain of Despair!
King Boo throws around a big chain.
Wario: This must be one of those attacks where we both got to dodge.
They both jump over King Boo’s attack.
King Boo: You’ll pay next turn!
Wario: Yeah, right!
Wario jumps on King Boo
King Boo - HP: 27
Waluigi: Hey, why don’t I try out my
Twisty Move on King Boo?
Wario: Go ahead. I’ll just go along.
King Boo - HP: 22
Wario: WOAH! Five points of damage!
Waluigi - BP: 7
Waluigi: Well, I guess we know what BP's for, now.
Wario: We've still got tons left! We'll finish his off in no time!
Waluigi: Hehehe! Take that, Boo!
King Boo: Laugh now, for I will turn
you into a vampire!
Waluigi: You’re not a vampire!
King Boo: I have these huge sharp teeth! I’ll just use them!
King Boo bites Waluigi.
Waluigi - HP: 9
Wario: I’ll use the Spin Jump!
Waluigi spins and Wario grabs on. King Boo gets dizzy and distracted.
King Boo - HP: 17
Wario - BP: 7
Waluigi: I’ll use the Bounce again!
Waluigi bounces up on Wario and on to King Boo.
King Boo - HP: 12
Waluigi - BP: 4
King Boo is in a daze by the Spin Jump.
Waluigi: We can attack before he can attack again!
Wario: No… Really?
Waluigi: I’ll go first!
Waluigi jumps on top of King Boo.
King Boo: THE PAIN!
King Boo - HP: 10
Wario: Let’s use the Spin Jump!
King Boo puts on sunglasses to not see the spinning. Waluigi spins, and Wario holds on. Together, they bonk King Boo on the head!
Pokey: Just like Little Bunny Foo Foo and the field mice…
King Boo - HP: 5
Wario - BP: 4
King Boo: I’ll have to launch Giant
King Boo launches five gigantic Skittles. Wario and Waluigi jump on them and they roll over to King Boo, causing one damage each.
King Boo: NOOOOOOOOO!!! I WILL NOT DIE!!!
King Boo: I WILL NOT DIE AGAIN!!!
King Boo - HP: 0
Wario and Waluigi won!
Stache: Pretty Short…
Stache: Very Loooooooooong
King Boo: Ugh… Taste the rainbow…
King Boo then flops around like a fish.
Wario: Speaking of Skittles, I think I’d like some.
Waluigi: I’m in.
Suddenly, they hear parade music.
Iggy, Lemmy, and everyone else from the Shrine of Bros. Attacks have come.
Wario: What are you doing here?
Lemmy: It’s our annual “Blasting of the Cannon” celebration! We all eat Skittles and watch someone get blasted out of a cannon!
Wario: Sounds like fun!
Iggy: It is! There’s plenty of music and dancing, and the best part is choosing someone to blast out of a cannon!
Waluigi: Someone’s already in the cannon.
Iggy: Well, then, everyone get your Skittles ready and let’s watch!
Everyone sits down and eats Skittles as Lemmy lights the fuse to the cannon. King Boo is right in front as Wart gets shot at Bullet Bill speed out of the cannon!
Wart: (yelling) I AM THE GREAT WART…
Everyone applauds. King Boo gets blasted away!
Iggy: Was that… Wart?
Wario: Who cares?
Lemmy: Good point.
Waluigi: Come on, everybody! Let’s party!!!
And so, Wario, Waluigi, and everyone they’ve met in this chapter (except Goombario, he’s still lying motionless on the ground) celebrate the annual “Blasting of the Cannon” celebration. What a nice end to the chapter!
But what of the Shadow Queen and her henchman, Dr. Scienstein? Where have they gone off to with Daisy’s beauty? Will Wario and Waluigi be able to stop them? Why am I asking you all these questions?
Pokey: I don’t know. Want to party?