Chapter 3: Niagra Falls
Ludwig: I miss home.
Bowser: Yes, Earth can be cruel.
Ludwig: But where are we anyway?
Bowser: Hmmm... Well, judging by the red leaf and odd sense of texture, I say we are in Canada!
Ludwig: How do you know all these things?
Bowser: Science and Social Studies class.
Ludwig: Oh, well you should have let me answer the question.
Bowser: Good ol' smart son being smart again.
Ludwig: Well you should thank me since I made us human so we don't stand out.
Bowser: Come see the famous Niagra Falls.
Ludwig: What?
Bowser: Oh, I was just reading the board over there. It says there is a giant waterfall called Niagra Falls. Oh, and you can ride a boat through the river!
Ludwig: Then we shall go visit it. Then we will look for a rocket.
Bowser: Good then. Taxi, take us to the falls!
The car turns and they head toward the Falls. Finally they get there.
Ludwig: Wow, look at it! Just amazing! I shall get a water sample...
Bowser: On the boat ride!!!
Ludwig: Fine, let’s get tickets.
Bowser and Ludwig grab tickets to go on a boat ride through the river. They board the boat and notice nobody is on it.
Bowser: Odd, shouldn’t there be more people?
Captain: Yes, but most people are scared that this engine will cut off and we will drift toward the Falls and FALL!
Ludwig: Impossible! We are nearly two miles from the Falls. The river curves at an 80-degree angl,e making it hard for a boat this size to make a turn like that.
Captain: Um... Yeah, we will go with that.
Bowser: Good, Ludwig, you made me feel better.
Captain: And what are your names?
Ludwig: Mine is Lud-
(Bowser covers his mout.h)
Bowser: Ludcy. And I'm Bert.
Captain: Nice to meet, you Ludcy and Bert. We depart now!
The boat takes off and Ludwig and Bowser are enjoying the view.
Ludwig: Wow, this is soooo…
*creak*
Bowser: WHat was that?
Captain: The engine cut off, just like I said.
Ludwig: Wha?!
Captain: Too bad there is only one life vest. Bye, and hope you two live!
The captain floats away.
Bowser: I'm being rushed. First of all, the captain takes care of the customers. Second, why is there only one life vest? And third, how did he predict all of this?
Ludwig: I don't know, but we’d better think of something fast!
Bowser: I may have an idea!
Ludwig: Tell me please!
Bowser: First I need to know if there are any air pumps on this ship.
Ludwig: Ah, and tie them with rope to the back of the boat. The air pumps should create enough power to make it to that shore over there!
Bowser: Great, now go find some while I take a nap!
Ludwig: A nap at this time?
Bowser: Well, the great Bowser does need his sleep. That is what keeps my shell nice and sharp, not dull.
Ludwig: Ok, be right back!
Ludwig leaves and then returns with rope and pumps.
Bowser: *SNORE!* Oh, Ludwig, you have returned.
Ludwig: Yes, in 30 seconds, too! OH NO! THE WATERFALL IS OVER THERE!
Bowser: Great, that gives us...
Ludwig: 36.9807564 seconds.
Bowser: ??? Goodness, what math level do you take?
Ludwig: Just hook up the pumps.
Bowser: Yes, smart son of mine.
Bowser hooks everything and Ludwig starts them.
Ludwig: Yes! I think we have it!
Ludwig starts to steer the boat toward the edge but it is too late. Ludwig underestemated the power of the river. So now Ludwig and Bowser are falling to their doom!
Bowser: WE’RE GONNERS!
But they dodge everything and find a
large piece of wood to ride on. Now Ludwig and Bowser are on the river
and are going to somewhere they don't know.
Beethoven: Npw look, I want to go back to my own time. Advisor, where is the portal to the 19th/18th century portal?
Advisor: As your advisor, I suggest you enjoy this vacation!
Beethoven: You think being captured by ghosts is fun?
Advisor: I know their food isn't exactly the best, but we are in a different world now, so play along, ok?
Beethoven: Fine, but being carried on wooden planks through a forest that really confuses me isn't defined in my book as FUN!
Boos: WE’RE HERE!!! Booya!
King Boo: Hello, and welecome to my mansion.
Advisor: Um… Hello there!
King Boo: And who is this fellow?
Advisor: Oh, that is a composer, Beethoven.
King Boo: Oh, I see. Well, enjoy yourselves here, because it may be your last!
Toadsworth comes bursting in out of the middle of nowhere!
Toadsworth: I say I have a package for a Mr. Beethoven.
Beethoven: That's me!
Toadsworth: Open it, ol' chap!
Beethoven opens the package.
Toadsworth: Great gooblin Goombas! It's a warp pipe!
Advisor: But to where?
Beethoven: I don't know? Let’s go find out!
King Boo: NOT SO FAST! You’re not going anywhere. You three will spend time here forever!
King boo throws the pipe into the mansion. Then he throws Toadsworth, Beethoven, and the advisor into a cell.
Toadsworth: Well it looks like we are stuck here. I hear you’re from Earth, so I shall join your party until you find a way to get back to Earth. I guess I could tell you about this place!
Beethoven: Vwat did he say?
Advisor: Oh no, your hearing aid is broken!
Beethoven: Just kidding.
Advisor: It's not nice to kid, now. But you know, as an inventor I could maybe make another one. When, of course, we get HOME!
Toadsworth: Well here is my best shot at explaining this place. You are now in the world of Plit. This place is home to all creatures you can think of. It's like an imagination planet. So welcome! So you found the secret warp pipe and made it here, I see. It is a little dangerous here, though, so be careful. We must get you to that warp pipe, and quick! But I say, it is nowhere to be seen?
Beethoven: We shall search!
Advisor: But no sir. Those people could get us.
Toadsworth: LOOK OVER THERE! THE PIPE!
They all see the pipe in the other cell.
Toadsworth: If only these bars were smaller!
Beethoven starts messing with his hearing aid. It starts making a loud screeching sound. All the guard go crazy! One of them happens to drop a key.
Toadsworth: I say, grab the key!
The advisor grabs it.
Toadsworth: Now unlock this cage I am confined in!
They do so and open the cage to the pipe. They all gather around it.
Beethoven: Ready to jump!
King boo comes.
King: Bwhahahahaha! So you thought you could trick me!
The pipe closes up.
King: Now I shall get the last laugh!
Toadsworth: Ha! No! Vice versa!
Toadsworth takes his cane and points it at King boo. It starts to glow and sucks King Boo into it.
Toadsworth: I inserted a micro-vacuum into it.
Beethoven: Works for me. Let’s go!
Advisor: One, two, three! JUMP!
They enter the pipe and stars are seen.
Bright lights flash!
Chapter 5: Along Came the President!
Ludwig: Well that worked out nicely! Kinda... Where are we?
Bowser: Someplace called Washington D.C.? Heard of it?
Ludwig: According to this thing I have, it is home to the...
All of a sudden, two FBI agents capture Bowser and Ludwig.
Ludwig: Lay your paws off me!
Bowser: I can't breathe fire at the moment.
They are brought to the president.
Agent: Sir, we caught these dragons outside.
Ludwig: I am not a dragon!
Bowser: Um… Right!
Bush: Well, as leader I say... Hmmm… Wait, what to do with them?
Ludwig: Psst! Bowser, he's the leader! Maybe they know where the pipe is!
Bush: Yes, I do know where a pipe is! I don't know where it leads though. Just popped up early morning yesterday!
Agent: Shall we take them to it, sir?
Bush: Um... You've caused enough trouble, Agents. They should be able to find it on their own. But it is in the lab so that would be down the stairs through the hall to your left!
Ludwig: YOU HAVE A LAB?!
Bowser: Don't get any ideas, Ludwig. Thank you all!
Bush: No problem!
Ludwig and Bowser leave. Bush whispers to his agents.
Bush: Prepare the attack.
Agent: For what, sir?
Bush: We are going to destroy them! Those dragons don't belong here.
Agent: But they could get to the pipe any minute!
Bush: They must throw the red potion on the ground to open the portal.
The agent tells everyone the plan through a walkie-talkie. Meanwhile…
Ludwig: Wow wasn't that nice of them!
Bowser: Yeah, talk about leader. I mean, he is the nicest leader.
They look ahead and see tons of agents with weapon!
Bowser: Quickly! To the lab!
They arrive at the lab and close the door behind them. Agents try to open it.
Ludwig: Where is the pipe? Wait! Potions! One of them must make a portal.
Bowser: Worth a try. Try the green one!
Ludwig throws the green one on the ground but nothing happens.
Bowser: Um… Oh... The blue one! Quickly! They might break in!
Ludwig throws it on the ground. A giant Blooper appears. He jumps out the door, knocking over all the agents.
Bowser: Last chance. Quickly! The purple one!
Ludwig: There is no purple one. How about this red one?
BOWSER: QUICKLY!
Ludwig throws it on the ground. They
disappear right before an agent grabs them.
So where are both groups heading? Find out on the next edition of LUDWIG MEETS LUDWIG!