The Good, the Bad, and the Torte 3
The Passion of the Chef

By Chef Torte

Chapter 23: The Awakening

“What… happened?”

The red-headed girl asked this of her dinosaur friends as the trio stood on the outer rim of a desolate Toad Town. The sky was dark and smoldering with rage and wraith. Pillars of smoke rose into the shadowy skies from numerous fires within the city. The streams of once crystal-clear water were now dank and tinted with the blood of countless victims. Orchil turned away and grasped desperately onto Splooshi as one unlucky citizen was found floating in the water. Yoshi closed his eyes and put his face in his hand.

“This is terrible…”

Splooshi looked nervously toward his green companion. “Yoshi… what happened? Who did this?”

Yoshi looked up toward the sky and noticed the thickest clouds were massed above the darkly palace of the princess, which now bore sickly veins of black essence and a new image in the stained glass window. “I don’t know… It couldn’t be Bowser…”

The two searched the streets from the hill, not a soul in sight. Orchil started to whimper, cradled in Splooshi’s arms. The blue dinosaur asked, “Where was Stario? And what about the princess?”

“I’m wondering that myself…” Yoshi paused. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

"What… what do we do?” Splooshi asked.

Yoshi swallowed hard, his eyes not averting from the horror. “The two of you will run as far as you can. Go home, go anywhere. Just get away fast.”

Orchil looked up from Splooshi’s chest. “But what about you? You’re coming with us, right?”

Yoshi paused for a moment. “I need to find out what’s going on and if the princess is all right.”

“But-but…” Splooshi panicked. “Let us come with you, please! We can help!”

The dinosaur turned. “This may very well be a death sentence if I stay. I don’t want to get two more good people killed because of my foolishness,” Yoshi explained. “I want you to go and find help. I’ll see what I can do here and if I can find any survivors.”

“Yoshi…” Splooshi spoke weakly.

“There isn’t time to waste! Whatever did this could be planning to move on to the rest of the kingdom. Now, go!” Yoshi demanded.

Splooshi sniffed and nodded, turning around. Orchil grasped her hands together and didn’t move. Yoshi looked at her coldly, but the sprite child rushed forward at her green friend and hugged him, her tears gushing onto his white middle.

“Please… Please promise me… that I’ll see you again,” Orchil pleaded.

The dinosaur breathed in deep and put his arms around his friend. Softly, he spoke, “I promise I will see you again, Orchil.”

Orchil squeezed harder before letting go. Her yellow eyes brimming with tears, she summoned up her strength and turned away from Yoshi. The green dinosaur watched as his two blue friends walked away silently. Before turning away he saw their hands reach out and connect. Yoshi’s face was red with the glare of the pyres within the city. He sniffed the foul air, searching if there was anyone alive down there. Cautiously, he entered the village.

~*~*~*~

Deep inside the castle, Princess Toadstool was still locked within the prison sphere, her body and mind both very weak now. She drifted in and out of consciousness, flashes of violent images appearing in her mind. She could see visions of her people being slaughtered by the hooded army, the faceless shadows of evil; something inside her turned at the thought. Abruptly, her sense of weightlessness ceased as the spell encapsulating her dissipated. She hit the ground with a clang.

Peach’s sense of reality came back to her. She was on the ground in her room. All the lights in the castle had been turned off, and every window had been blocked by an oily goop. Only the red glow of ceremonial torches lit the building’s interior now. The flickering candles in her room revealed that the spell had been undone by one of the cloaked underlings.

In a horrific voice, it commanded, “Come with me.”

The princess climbed to her feet and glared. “Where are you taking me?”

“Do not ask questions, follow me now.”

Peach grit her teeth but understood she wasn’t exactly in a place to argue. The short, robed servant escorted her from her room down to the first floor, where she saw more underlings tending to various activities, including redecorating the castle. The stained-glass window now bore the symbol of Vuljiin’s master rather than the princess’ likeness. Columns of red light poured through the window and onto the floor of the central hall. Peach’s journey didn’t end here, however, the underling then brought her outside and into the castle courtyard. It was here that Princess Toadstool found Vuljiin.

The middle pool of the court had been drained and the star-shaped statue had been removed. Surrounding the pool were three stone circles that surged with a red energy. Five cryptic pillars spiked outside the circles and twisted inward to make an exact replica of the frightful altar that had been located in Vuljiin’s lair. Ceremonial torches of the red flame were being place around the exterior courtyard by more underlings. The taller, male servant was putting the finishing touches on a new podium that stood before the great altar. The figure of Stario stepped before the princess, hooded with a dark cape that garbed his back and fell to the ground.

“So glad of you to join us, Peach,” Vuljiin hissed.

“You won’t get away with this!” the princess spat.

“You’re so certain, are you? Hasn’t it occurred to you that I already have?” Vuljiin snickered. “Look around you, your home is destroyed. Stario is dead, and I will momentarily be at the ultimate peak of my power. Face it, Princess, there’s no one left to save you.”

Peach rushed forward to attack the dark wizard but was restrained by the scaly hands of the soldier escort. “Nuh-uh, Majesty. That’s a big no-no.”

The golden-haired female was furious. “Someone will stop you. Good will always overcome the evil in the world.”

Vuljiin threw back his head and laughed. “Imbecile! There is no good or bad, right or wrong; there is only the weak and the powerful. Your moral code no longer holds the strength it once did. I am the law now.”

Peach felt her eyes swell with moisture. She bowed her head and spoke through clenched teeth, “Why… why do you do this? What is so wrong with the world to force death upon it?”

“Did I hear you right?” Vuljiin’s word passed through Stario’s lips. “This world is worthless! Not one soul upon its soil is worthy to appreciate its splendor. This spirit of this world has long abandoned you, and the heavens above darken with an imminent death. You must understand now, Princess, that my way is the only way to save what little life this planet has left before it is too late.”

Toadstool looked up at the eyes of Stario, seeing Vuljiin’s dark soul behind them. His words flowed within her mind, he had just given away something… but what was it? She was weak and couldn’t think clearly.

“We’ve wasted enough time. Prepare the connection!” Vuljiin demanded.

The scaly servant growled and forced the princess forward.

~*~*~*~

Yoshi’s quick feet fluttered him from building to building, avoiding any eyes that could be watching the streets. He moved fast and stayed in the shadows. He didn’t take the direct path either; it might take him longer, but if was safe to go the long way. Finally the green dinosaur made his way to the gate and peered in at the castle.

“That’s odd…” Yoshi whispered. “There’s no guards.”

Yoshi was surprised but not convinced. Something was up. He looked around in the grass and found a pebble. Wrapping his sausage-like fingers around it, he picked it up and hurled it toward the castle. Before it landed on the drawbridge, two red eyes in the dark symbol opened and fired a powerful beam that disintegrated the stone.

“I guess I’ve gotta find another way in…” The dinosaur puzzled over this predicament and looked around the city. “What would Mario and Luigi do?” Yoshi’s eyes fell upon the city’s sewer lid in the middle of the street. A grin flashed over his face. “Bingo.”

The ritual was about to begin. The princess had been tied to the podium’s front and was now facing the altar. On the opposing side, the hooded servant ran his claws along dials and runes, causing the stone circles to start rotating, the middle one moving clockwise as opposed to the two surrounding it. The five demented pillars began to glow with a violet light. Vuljiin stepped forward and removed the darkened Star Saber, slowly extending it forward into the altar. The sky above the castle became completely black, and soon the only light came from the red torches and the purple electricity. Vuljiin began to mutter something in a different language, his words clutching at the princess’ heart. Vuljiin grew silent and tossed the blade into the howling altar. Instead of falling to the ground, the Star Saber stayed afloat and hovered in the exact center of the altar. It was then the ungodly voice spoke.

The red torches flickered in and out, the purple lighting bounced all along the courtroom, even into some of the soldiers, completely sapping them of their life. As the intensity within the altar grew and the slithery voice grew louder, Peach felt the pain in her chest grow until she felt her heart nearly burst. It was then that a hideous skull appeared inside the altar and was quickly covered with a dark sludge. The crimson eyes opened and pierced through Peach. All around her, the subjects of darkness cowered to the ground before the entity. The Dark Stario bent down on one knee and removed his hood and cap to the essence. The Dark Abomination began to throb and pulse in sync with Peach’s heart. Its voice came from every direction, rattling the frail bones of the princess. Although it spoke in a foreign tongue, she was able to understand it.

“I awaken.”

Toadstool felt utterly powerless against the force of evil. She heard the frightening voices of the cloaked cultists begin to chant in an unholy harmony. They rose to their feet and extended their hands outward. The male servant behind the podium that Peach was strapped to left the control console and stepped forward aside Vuljiin.

The servant spoke, “I have completed your request, my master.”

“That I see before me… Lord Vuljiin has been reborn. Arise, Martyr of Malice.”

Stario’s body climbed to its feet. “With this new body, I am ready to carry out the long-awaited prophecy.”

The princess felt a chill squirm down her spine at the word ‘prophecy’. The cloaked soldiers had now brought their chanting to a low octave and remained virtually invisible in the glow of the devil.

“The time of my return to this soil draws near… The skies will soon burn with the armada foretold; you know what you must do. Find the flesh with the flames of fate and extinguish this vice upon me.”

“Yes, my master,” Vuljiin responded. “We have already brought the first Child of the Cosmos to you. She is Princess Toadstool.”

Peach’s heart stopped. Its eyes were soaking in all her existence, gazing beyond the bone and to the soul. She wanted to cry but she couldn’t.

“The Daughter of Gaba… How appropriate.”

Peach’s mind raced with questions and fears. Daughter of Gaba, what did it mean by that? What was going to happen? The heart-shaped, triple-horned entity writhed about in its own essence. The glare from its eyes decreased as it narrowed them to slits of crimson.

“She must die.”

~*~*~*~

The door to the princess’ washroom opened and the green Yoshi emerged with a horrid look on his face and a trail of toilet tissue attached to his right heel. The noise of flushing was heard behind him as he breathed heavily.

“I don’t know how Mario and Luigi manage to do that…”

Yoshi caught his breath and shook himself into action. He suddenly felt very cold all around, his smooth scales beginning to prickle with instinctual fears. A low growling sound gargled in the back of the dinosaur’s throat as his large eyes overlooked the room.

“This is place isn’t much better on the inside…”

The light of the red torch drew the Yo’ster close. He moved his hand close, but felt no warmth. Puzzled, he pushed forward with his round digits and felt the pyres. They licked his hand with cold and gave a very weak pulling sensation. Yoshi removed his hand, shoving his fingers into his mouth. With his tongue he reintroduced warmth to the appendages. He again looked around the room.

“Where could the princess be?”

Just then, a flash of golden light blasted through the sludge-covered window and was followed by an unworldly shriek that caused the dinosaur to fall and place pressure on his ears. Yoshi grit his teeth, feeling the ground shaking with the pained bellow. When it subsided, he stood up precariously. The room danced around him as he felt his stomach tingle with worry. Yoshi forced himself sober and came to his senses; he had to find out what was going on. He left the room and came to the empty grand hall. Most of the rooms were barricaded with a kind of red vein that pumped black blood. The tiny veins spread out and sank deep into the walls of the castle.

Yoshi went downstairs and discovered an open door. He cautiously entered the room and sniffed for danger. Feeling confident, he decided to look around. In the old castle this room was for visiting dignitaries spending the night. Now it was warped into an awkward bedroom with a large portion of the room devoted to art supplies, easels and canvases. The dinosaur stepped over and overlooked the drawings.

Green, fruitful trees and grassy meadows surprised him. Most of the pictures were landscapes, all rich and peaceful environments, many of which featured a large, dome-shaped mountain. Yoshi narrowed his eyes studiously. The lake, the surrounding forest… could it be Cookie Mountain? He fingered through some more drawings and found something that enticed his curiosity: a very detailed portrait of and older Ludwig von Koopa, in his arms a small child. The drawing depicted the Koopa prince not as a spiteful serpent, but a caring soul. Yoshi marveled at the excellent rendering. It was so apparent that it was drawn with such love and devotion… the dinosaur had never seen anything quite like it.

A noise. Yoshi panicked, he’d gotten so entranced with the drawings that he’d let his guard down. He turned around suit, heart pounding. Primal eyes darted in every crevice of his view, searching for the source. When he found nothing, a sigh of relief eased passed his lips. He then heard it again, only clearer this time. It was a small noise, harmless in nature. That’s when Yoshi saw it. He’d somehow missed it entering the room. A chill ran down his spine as he moved closer to it. Yoshi stopped, realizing it had now seen him. Their eyes studied each other for a long, silent moment.

The same infant from the picture was staring straight back at Yoshi with innocent eyes. It was wrapped in a brown cloth and left in a cushy crib to nap. The child was not a day old. Spit dribbled from the corners of its mouth as the baby made another sound. Its scales were a light green, but it had many distinct features of a Koopa bloodline. Yoshi noted the tiny, prodigious snout coming out of the babe’s little face. Could this be… Ludwig’s son?

“Get away from him!”

Yoshi turned but all too late. He was on the ground, pounced upon by a cloaked creature and then stabbed in the sides with razor-sharp claws. The nails dug into Yoshi’s flesh as the source pulled its arms down the dinosaur’s stomach. A quick-acting poison coating the nails found its way into his blood stream and Yoshi’s sight became blurry and his throat filled with air. He blacked out after seeing the face of Karma Koopa.
 
 

Chapter 24: The Temple Guardian

The sun radiated above in the cloudless, yellow sky. Shadows of bars confining the sorcerer Vermik coated his tiny prison cell and lined his contemplating face. Though the black-wearing shapeshifter sat cross-legged with his hands on his knees, his discomfort was shown through his intense perspiration. Behind his glasses, Vermik’s seedy eyes watched as the two spear-equipped guards patrolled just outside his cell. One was an able-looking Yoshi, the other a short rat. White kerchiefs veiled their faces below the eyes, their sharp weapons partially balanced over their hardened shoulders.

The chameleon closed his eyes and attempted to hypnotize his physical being to be cooler. It was too hot and too dangerous to simply shape-shift in order to escape through the bars of the jail and then slay the guards. He sensed the majority of the other women working on something just beyond the small prison complex in the open area of the temple. Potentially he could fly to escape, but there was always Kammy. She’d been duped by these cultists and would most likely hunt him down.

Vermik had to get Kammy back to normal, anyway. And there was little chance of doing that by running away from her. Filling his lungs, the mage sunk deep within the recesses of his mind and spirit, biding his time.

~*~*~*~

General Jagger watched on from a balcony in the temple as the women of the tribe assembled a large heap of wood in the center of a pit carved deep into the mountain’s flesh. The right side of his head rested in his hand as he studied Serena T, beckoning several of the females who were carrying a pole of wood nearly ten meters tall. He had no idea what they were doing but the Terrapin felt something inside him tell him it wasn’t very good.

“Master Jagger,” Petal called from behind him. The high-ranking officer stood up from the railing and entered his room where the youthful Crazee Dazee stood attentively, her hands together at her waist. “Your breakfast is ready.”

The turtle smiled and sat down at the table, his eyes reading the meal placed before him. As usual he saw the delicate arrangement of green salads and colorful fruits, but something new struck him. There was a large, cracked seed placed in the center of the plate.

“Petal… where did this seed come from?” Jagger asked.

“Oh, that’s a dead child of the guardian,” Petal explained.

“Oh,” Jagger responded, picking up his utensils and stabbing into a piece of mango. “…Wait, what?”

“Without a certain type of soil her seeds won’t grow, so we eat them instead,” Petal answered.

“Her?” Jagger asked.

“The Phoenix Flower, the guardian of our temple,” Petal replied.

Jagger continued to stare at the flower girl, a puzzled look upon his face. His growing questions stifled his hunger and the plate before him was left to spoil.

~*~*~*~

King Bowser Koopa watched the ocean spray crash upon the beaches in the distance. The giant turtle stared out to the sea from a window in a high room of the temple that looked out to the east. Towering mountain peaks blocked the view to the north, and the expansive, wild jungle covered the island’s southern portion. Spiraling into his snout, the scent of another triggered the king to turn. Sorcia stared back at him from the doorway of the round room, her outfit changed. It was a one piece, sleeveless dress that ended just above the ankles of her bare feet. Her normally vivid, shiny black hair appeared untidy but with a sense of untamed beauty. Her hand grasped the corner of the entrance. Sorcia’s dark red eyes stared back into Bowser’s.

~*~*~*~

When Vermik came out of his self-induced slumber, Kammy was waiting outside the cell. The Magikoopa stood up cautiously and noticed the former guards were gone.

“Vermik,” Kammy said solemnly.

“What do you want, traitorous witch?” the wizard snapped.

“It’s me, I was faking before,” Kammy explained.

“You expect me to believe that?” Vermik snarled.

Kammy groaned. “You’re always so bitter. I did that for a reason.”

“And that is?”

The gray-haired female looked through her glasses at the caged creature. “One, to gain their trust and two, to create a diversion.”

Vermik looked back at the elderly Magikoopa. “Diversion? For what?”

“I’m going to do a little investigation of the temple while they’re busy with you,” Kammy explained.

“That brings up another question,” Vermik spoke. “What is it that they are going to do with me?”

“They’ll be burning you at the stake,” Kammy said emotionlessly.

“Ah,” Vermik responded, rather unaffected.

“The one that looks like Peach, she seems to be the leader. I’ve been following her around at night and she always goes down a spiral staircase,” Kammy described. “I’m going to find out what’s down there.”

“What do you expect to find?” Vermik asked.

“Something that can help us get Kamek back, I hope.” Kammy answered. “Either way, I just need you to stall them while I search, so no escape theatrics until I’ve finished.”

“Naturally,” Vermik mentioned. “How will I know when you’re done?”

Kammy smiled. “I should let you know some way…”

“Perfect…” Vermik mumbled. “Oh, I never got the chance to tell you, thanks to your plan…”

“What?” Kammy asked.

“Last night I waited for that black bird to appear,” Vermik explained. “I followed it and I found it. It appears flight-worthy.”

~*~*~*~

“What are you doing here?” Bowser asked.

Sorcia blinked for the first time since she’d appeared in the room. Her thoughts came slowly. “I’m not quite sure, myself.”

“Please leave, then,” Bowser growled.

Sorcia frowned. “You don’t enjoy my company?”

Bowser turned back to the window. “It’s not that. You just… look so much like… her.”

Sorcia’s eyes half-closed, staring at the back of Bowser’s spiky shell. “I think I understand where you’re coming from…”

“What?” Bowser asked, half-turning.

Sorcia regained her composure. “Nothing.”

Bowser looked out the window again. Sorcia was desperate to break the silence, but the tyrant beat her to it. “This beautiful island you live on… it’s paradise, but it’s not for me.”

“What do you mean?” Sorcia asked.

“I belong in a battlefield, cries of terror echoing all around me, the pungent smells of fresh blood lingering in the air. Just look at me, Sorcia! I’m a monster!” Bowser argued.

Sorcia’s face was buried by hair as she turned to her side. “Then you wish to leave?”

“Yes,” Bowser answered. “I can’t stay here much longer, I’ll go berserk.”

Sorcia pushed the hair from her face but still looked away. “You realize leaving this island isn’t something one can do so easily…”

Bowser stepped forward. “Nothing stops me from what I’m gonna do.”

Sorcia turned and stared up at the Koopa, her eyes glossy and obviously brimming with tears yet to fall. “Then where will you go?”

Bowser noticed the water in her eyes and felt something rise deep inside him. “Uh… er… I’m not sure… Somewhere to rebuild my army…”

“What will your army get you? Will it bring you happiness?” Sorcia questioned. Bowser thought but didn’t respond. “Will conquering another land really make you whole?”

Bowser roared and pushed the woman to the ground in his fury. She looked up in shock, as smoke snaked out of his nostrils. “You shut your mouth! Never insult my decisions!”

Sorcia looked up for as long as she could hold the tears in. Bowser left when she faced the floor and wept silently. The Koopa King marched off to find his children.

~*~*~*~

“Light the wood!” Serena T commanded.

Four women bearing torches stepped forward and set life to the massive pile of wood retained in the ceremonial pit. Vermik, tied at the very top of the tall pillar of wood, felt the heat already getting to him. His eyes looked through the crowd to find Kammy, who stepped away slowly and backed into the temple when everyone’s attention was placed on the fire. As beads of sweat formed on his brow, the Magikoopa wondered how long he could hold out.

~*~*~*~

“But Dad! We don’t want to go!” Iggy cried.

Bowser had assembled his present sons in a single room and the giant tortoise was now telling them of their immediate departure from the women-infested Isle Ovaria.

“Some of us like the attention from all the girls!” Roy bellowed.

“My word is final! We’re leaving,” Bowser argued.

Larry assembled his thoughts into words before speaking, making them all race out in a jumbled speech. “B-but come on, we don’t even, have a way off. A way to escape. They won’t even let us, maybe!”

“I am the King of the Koopa! No one dictates whether or not I can leave,” Bowser explained. “Pack your things, I’ll be going for the others and then we’ll swim our way off the island if we have to!”

Just outside the room, Bowser’s daughter Wendy was eavesdropping on the males of her family. The converted sister of the Koopalings waited until the end of Bowser’s last message before leaving to find someone of higher authority.

~*~*~*~

“Master Jagger, we’re really not supposed to be down here!” Petal warned. The Terrapin warrior ignored the girl’s words and continued down the spiraling staircase, reaching the rectangular room with the long pool of water. The Crazee Dayzee appeared behind him and her eyes widened in fright. “My goodness, what will Madam Sorcia think? We’re in a whole heap of trouble…”

Jagger stepped forward, walking along the right side of the pool. Petal trailed behind him despite her worries. The green-shelled Koopa approached the tall door at the end of the chamber and didn’t hesitate to open it. A cloud of hot mist spurted in his face as soon as he looked inside. He wiped his eyes and stepped into the muggy room. A great rustling sound came from beyond the mists, as if a hundred gales were dashing through the thick leaves of an immense forest. However, Jagger didn’t see any leaves, the white mist filled the entire room and plunged into his senses. Petal stepped in after the Terrapin, her hands to her mouth.

Something slithered across the floor behind them.

“Petal?” Jagger asked, turning around to find he couldn’t see her. “Was that you?”

“N-no, M-Master Jagger,” Petal worried.

A second slither, this time it came from in front of Jagger. The warrior looked ahead of him and studied as the mist began to dissipate, and a bulbous head looked down at him. Words escaped the general’s lips as his sense of courage melted away.

“This was a very bad idea…”

Chapter 25: The Countess

The former fortress beyond the Forest of Illusion had since been re-established, and a new owner had seized control over the dominion. Changling sighed at the sight; finally they’d made it out of the woods.

“I knew this was the right way. I am a genius,” Mervo squawked.

“Let’s here it for Mervo!” Shy Away exclaimed.

“Yay,” Pudge praised.

Changling noticed the ever-optimistic Maggy Mole also cheering. The Magikoopa shrugged and smiled, just happy to be here. He wondered what Chef Torte was doing right now…

“All right, here’s the deal you two,” Mervo said, turning to the captives. “The Countess is a mean mistress, and there’s gonna be a price to pay when she finds out we failed our mission… so, I guess, wear earplugs if you got ‘em.”

Changling was suddenly confused. “Mission? What mission?”

“Uh….” Mervo scratched his head with his talon. “Group huddle!”

Pudge and Shy Away hovered around the bird to make a private conversation. “What is the matter, Mervo?” Shy Away asked.

“What is the matter? I’ll TELL you what is the matter!” Mervo shrieked.

“Well, yes, that’s kind of what I was hoping for,” Shy Away replied.

“The chest! Remember the chest that she sent us to get? We lost it in the ocean!” Mervo yelled.

“But I thought you said we’d be okay with that Koopa guy as a distraction,” Shy Away mentioned.

Mervo hit his head against the soil. “That’s a long-shot… I don’t know what I was thinking. What COULD I be thinking? Maybe I’m not such a genius after all…”

Shy Away and Pudge put their hands at their mouths, gasping in horror.

“Okay, even I think that was too far,” Mervo agreed.

“Nonsense, Mervo, you are smartest one of us all,” Pudge claimed.

Mervo smiled. “Well, I do have that IQ of 151…”

“Not to mention that you invented the Fuzzy Gin. AND the Countess’ aircraft, the Storm Cruiser!” Shy Away added.

“Yeah… I did…” Mervo’s glasses broke and he turned yellow. “I LEFT THE STORM CRUISER RUNNING BACK IN THE DONUT PLAINS!”

Changling looked awkwardly at Maggy. The Mole brushed her beaded dreads back with her hand and stepped forward. “I don’t know about you, honey, but I’m gonna deliver this here mail to Ms. Thundread and stop wastin’ mah time.”

The red-robed Koopa watched as the Monty Mole walked toward the large doors of the castle. He took another glance at the bickering trio before deciding to follow the rodent. It was another moment or so before they noticed their two prisoners had disappeared.

“Uh- h… Mervo…” Shy Away asked.

Mervo looked at his floating friend. “What is it?”

“Our prisoners seem to have taken it upon themselves to escape from our grasp and enter the castle themselves,” Shy Away answered.

Mervo hopped and turned red. “FUNGAH! AFTER THEM!”

~*~*~*~

Changling and Maggy walked into the first major room of the castle. There were two staircases, one broken halfway up, and an arched doorway on all four stone walls surrounding them, including the one they’d just entered. Above them was an electric chandelier, visible sparks of lightning coursing through the transparent glass.

“Which way do ya’ll think we should head?” Maggy asked.

Changling scratched his chin. “My best guess would be up the stairs.”

Maggy quickly climbed to the second floor landing, but tugged away at the door. “I reckon this way’s locked.”

Changling grimaced. This made things more difficult. “I guess we’ll have to go through these other ways… Maybe we’ll find a key or something.”

Maggy hopped down. “Sounds peachy-keen! I’m gonna go left, why don’t you go right and we’ll cover more dirt?”

“That sounds reasonable,” Changling commented.

The shapeshifter walked into the right archway, partially glad to be rid of the rural mole, the other half of him missing the accent. Sure, it wasn’t Torte’s brand of language-butchery, but it was something.

As the two of them disappeared from the room, Mervo and his gang entered from the first door. “Oh shoot… a fork in the road.” The red Jawful hurled his weapon and it slammed into the ground. “Er, not what I meant, but it’s good to know you’re listening.”

“Sorry, Mervo,” Pudge said, lifting his fork from the floor.

“Well, this does pose a problem. What will we do now?” Mervo asked.

“Oh! Oh!” Shy Away exclaimed hand waving in the air. “Pick me! I know!”

“Yes, Shy Away?” Mervo questioned.

“Let’s split up and cover more ground!” Shy Away said.

Mervo turned from his companions and looked at the three archways. “Hmm… three doors… three of us… they had to go through one of these… By Fred, that’s BRILLIANT!”

“Aw, shucks…” Shy Away giggled, cheeks of red.

“So brilliant… I should have thought of it… URRG! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I’M SO STUPID TODAY!” Mervo started to bounce.

“Birdy want cracker?” Pudge asked.

Mervo pounced into Pudge’s hand and gobbled up the saltine. “Ah… that’s better. Now, let’s split up and find these punks.”

“Aye, aye, Mervo!” Shy Away said.

 Mervo proceeded down the middle door, Shy Away the right, and Pudge the left.

~*~*~*~

Changling came upon an area with several floating platforms that systematically moved towards an upper level. The Magikoopa figured he could have transformed into a Paratroopa or something, but felt doing it the old fashioned way would be more fun. The red-robed sorcerer leapt from platform to platform, climbing higher in the empty room until finally reaching the next floor. There were two doors here. Changling walked into the right and found a small room stored with several crates and a few coins. The highlight of the room was a floating chest labeled with a question mark. The Koopa jumped underneath it, the impact sending the top flying upward. The contents flew to the ground and Changling grabbed it. It was a key, which meant he could now get through that first door. But unfortunately, Changling stepped out of the room and saw Shy Away fluttering about the room.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are~!” Shy Away sang.

“Hmm…” Changling figured if he avoided the creature, he’d end up getting to where he was going much faster.

He took the key and left the area through the second door.

~*~*~*~

An open entrance to the sea provided this lower end of the castle with a shipyard, despite the fact there wasn’t many ships. Maggy Mole shivered as she hoisted her mailbag from the stone floor and balanced it on her back. Her beads rattled with her waddling and continued to make more noise when gales from the opening wrestled with the Mole’s hair. She continued past the docks and found a small alcove with a staircase leading higher into the castle.

Pudge came in after the mole had fled from sight, dragging his feet and free hand on the ground. After getting halfway into the chamber he licked his gray lips and sensed something was wrong. The tomato-shaped minion turned to look at the dock and discovered a new ship among the vacant bay. It was round in shape and had a sleek, metallic design. The hatch door was left open and the inside was apparent with water damage. Pudge took note of a distinguishing mark on the craft’s side, a green Koopa shell with yellow spikes sticking out of it.

He blinked and continued his search.

~*~*~*~

The Pidgit hobbled down the middle corridor and poked his beak into several rooms, but found nothing out of the ordinary. He waddled and furiously mumbled at his plight. After awhile, Mervo came upon his own room, which was filled with children’s chemistry kits and assorted play-dough accessories. There was no bed in this room, because Mervo slept standing on one leg with his face covered by his other foot. It was a peculiar way to catch some Zs, but the Pidgit insisted the most efficient.

Mervo sniffed the air. “Ah, how I’ve missed the dank smell of silly putty and kerosene.”

A tiny squeak followed the bird’s statement. Flabbergasted, Mervo spun around and walked over to what appeared to be a ripening Piranha Plant. Its tiny, spherical head bobbed up and down slowly as Mervo hopped up on the counter to get a closer look.

“Who are you? And just what do you think you’re doing in my labrador?” Mervo sneered.

“His name is Ludwig, and I believe you mean ‘laboratory’.”

Mervo turned. “Who said that?”

In the corner of the room stood a green-suited Shy Guy with a lab coat around him. His hands connected behind his back as he studied Mervo’s chalkboards.

The feathered fiend snarled. “How dare you look at my secret charts! Just where do you get off, Mister?”

“These are hardly secret, I do believe your Atomic Super Sucker was already conveyed in part by the B.A.S.S., and the idea of pink lemonade was coined long before your time,” the Shyster explained. “Although I must admit I find your bottomless muffin-top theory to be quite fascinating…”

Mervo grit his teeth. “Who are you?”

The Shy Guy faced the bird and removed his glasses, cleaning them with the ends of his coat. “My name is Clever Guy, I am the single most intelligent life form on Plit.”

“Most-smartest, eh?” Mervo grinned. “What’s your IQ, then?”

Clever Guy put his spectacles in place. “Four-hundred, forty-four.”

Mervo turned white and fell to the ground with a squeal. “Holy Fig Newtons!”

“You must be Mervo,” Clever Guy said. “The Countess is waiting for you.”

Mervo shot up. “Bosco! How do you know the Countess?!”

“She found my ship adrift in the inner sea of Dinosaur Land when she was looking for you. She was kindly enough to take my ship in to her docking bay and give me shelter. She said she’d be happy to let me stay as long as I’d like, which is fortunate, as I’m quite homeless now,” Clever Guy summarized.

“Oh, well that’s a shame. Now that I and the others have returned, there won’t be any vacancy for you,” Mervo said sympathetically.

“Oh, that’s quite all right. The Countess said I could use your room,” Clever Guy responded.

“WHAT?” Mervo screamed, flashing red. “I have got a wood to peck with her!”

Clever Guy chuckled as the avian scuttled away in fury. He stepped over and rubbed the Piket on his head. “This will be an interesting chapter, won’t it, Ludey?”

~*~*~*~

Changling had traveled through the castle and had now come upon a rather large door of green, which he assumed would lead to where he was going. He pulled out the key from his robes and inserted it into the lock. Before he could turn it, he heard an abrupt shriek and then the entire castle rumbled. The Magikoopa fell on his back and watched the key fly out of the hole. He stood up and felt the quaking from inside the room continue.

“What is going on? Is Chef Torte in danger?” Changling worried.

Just then the fluttery wings of Shy Away announced the aerial creature’s arrival in the hall. “Oh, there you are. I have been looking for you.”

“What’s going on in there?” Changling asked.

Shy Away leaned in close to the door. BOOM! Another abrupt quake sent the Shyper swirling backward and into the wall.

“Are you okay?” Pudge asked, sticking his fork underneath his friend and lifting Shy Away before him.

Shy Away shook about. “Boy… That sure wasn’t honey.”

The sound of footsteps came from down the stairs and the third misfit appeared in all his rage. “WHERE IS THE COUNTESS?”

“In there, presumably,” Changling said.

Another rumble shook the ground and caused everyone to jump. Mervo squawked, “What’s she doing in there?”

In a burst of green lightning, the wooden door shattered and Maggy Mole was tossed from the room, envelopes everywhere.

“Maggy?” Changling questioned.

A female Lakitu with a green jumpsuit, light green hair, green buns with green ribbons hanging from them, green glasses, green butterfly wings, an emerald-tipped wand trailing green smoke, and a dark gray cloud with a face of its own hovered into view. Yes, the Countess had a real theme of green going on.

The Mole hopped to her feet. “Now I say, Ms. Thundread, you MUST collect your mail.”

“I’m sick and tired of your Poverty Barn trash! I exclude myself from all forms of postal service!” the Countess shouted.

Maggy looked shocked. “I’ve nevuh heard such blasphemy.”

The Countess turned within her cloud and hovered back into her room, Mervo and the others followed. Changling shrugged at the Mole and entered as well.

“Countess! I’ve heard you’re letting some crackpot stay in my room? How can you do this?” Mervo demanded.

The Countess flipped back around. “What the? Mervo! Oh my, I didn’t realize you’d returned.”

“Yes, and what a welcoming return of REVENGE it is! How could you let some snob steal my room?” the bird whined.

Changling looked around the large chamber. He was… uncomfortable. The towering walls of the expansive room were decorated with pictures of males, many shirtless or nearly stripped of everything.

“So, where’s my chest?” the Countess asked.

“Excuse me, Countess,” Mervo budded. “But I do believe you ignored my outraging there. There’s some Shy Guy in my room?”

The Lakitu growled. “My chest?”

Mervo suddenly remembered the trouble he was in. “Uh… chest?

“Yes, the one I sent you and the dunces to retrieve. Where is it?”

Mervo forced a laugh. “Heh, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Mervo, she’s talking about the one we lost, remember?” Shy Away commented.

Mervo shot an angry grimace at the flying Shy. “Shut up, stupid! I’ll handle this!”

“You lost it?!” the Countess screamed.

Mervo paused, shifting his eyes. “Anyone for a game of Chutes and Ladders?”

In a flash, the Countess leapt from her cloud and lurched Mervo above the ground by his scrawny neck, using her butterfly wings to stay afloat. Changling noticed the emerald-studded high heels to complete the look.

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CHEST?” the Countess shrieked.

“The piercings, remember?” Mervo replied. The Countess furiously tossed the Pidgit into the floor. “You asked me to!”

“THE TREASURE CHEST!” the Countess bellowed.

Mervo popped out of his Mervo-shaped crater. “Um, Pudge?”

Pudge cleared his throat. “We lost it in the ocean.”

The Countess shrieked, and a green lightning bolt shot erratically from her scepter. She fluttered down and placed her hard heel onto Mervo’s skull. “Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you right now.”

Mervo started to panic. “It… It… IT WASN’T MY FAULT! I SWEAR I DIDN’T TRY TO! THERE WAS THIS TROPICAL STORM AND… AND…”

The Countess’ gaze had left Mervo and fallen upon the silent Magikoopa to her right. Her mouth half-opened when she lay eyes on him. Changling stood oblivious to her stare as he continued to overlook the large hall. He was awkwardly observing a photograph of a shirtless Prince Peasley.

The Countess smiled and hovered over from Mervo, finding a place next to the shapeshifter. “He’s got a great body, doesn’t he?”

Changling reacted abruptly and defensively spoke. “How would I know?”

“Do you like him?” the Countess asked with no hidden agendas.

“What do you mean, like him?” Changling spat.

The Countess didn’t see the reason to be defensive. “Do you like him?” she placidly asked.

Changling rubbed the side of his face. “I mean, he’s a good prince and a nice guy but… I don’t like him.”

“How come you don’t like him?” the Countess questioned.

“Why should I?” Changling rationalized.

Whilst the Countess innocently tried to get a straight answer out of the paranoid sorcerer, Mervo gathered his two comrades for another group huddle. “Look! It’s working. She’s already distracted. I AM a genius!”

“Yay Mervo!” Pudge cheered.

“Mervo, what is going to happen when she stops paying attention to him?” Shy Away asked.

Mervo paused. “I … hadn’t thought that far.”

Maggy Mole shook herself to her feet and picked up the envelopes of mail surrounding her. She looked into the room to find that the Countess was peacefully talking to Changling and that the other three were engaged in one of their discussions. She rubbed the side of her head and wondered what she should do.

“Hello there, who might you be?”

Maggy swiveled around and took in the full sight of Clever Guy, holding out an envelope for her. The Mole’s eyes bounced back and forth from the offered letter to the stranger’s face. She blushed and gave a toothy grin as she grabbed the other end of the envelope. For a split second, they were connected through the letter… and then the Shyster released and Maggy stuffed it in her mailbag.

“I’m… Maggy Mole. The Mail Mole of Dinosaur Land,” Maggy cordially replied.

“Pleased to meet you, Margaret. I am Clever Guy.” The Shy Guy grabbed the Mole’s hand and kissed the back of it. “Charmed.”

Read on!
Go back to the beginning.


Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!

Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.