Leg Four
Phil: I am here at the overview ice bridge at Snowflake Lake. Eight teams took a 12 hour stop here for food, rest, and chitchat time. These eight teams are about to leave and continue their journey right now. Dry Bones and Boo will leave first.
Dry Bones: Go to the Chomp Express and catch a ride to Castaway Bay to find your first clue on the small island attached to the port.
Boo: Come on!
They both run.
Wario is seen draghing a scared Waluigi up to the clue box.
Wario: Let's-a see!
Waluigi: NOT ITALIAN LANGUAGE!
Wario: We're-a going to-a the Chomp Express.
Waluigi: NOT THE LANGUAGE! AND I'M SCARED OF CHOMPS!
Wario: I don't care!
Phil: Four Chomps will leave the station
thirty minutes apart difference. Each Chomp carries two teams.
Mario: I say! I say! I say!
Luigi: WHAT?
Mario: The fungus is coming!
Luigi looks to see Toad and Toadette coming.
Luigi: Run! We'll read the clue on the way.
Mario: ALLIANCE!
Toad: ... Uh... Okay...
Mario: Let's-a go!
Luigi: Idiot.
They run.
Boo: I see it just ahead!
Waluigi is heard in the distance.
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SNOWFLAKES!
Dry Bones: Errrr... That was uncalled for.
Boo: Forget them!
Dry Bones: Okay.
They continue running.
Bowser: Okay! Chomp Express.
Clawdia: That sounds romantic.
Wart: Enough with the mushy romantic garbage.
Wendy: You do know you're saying all that stuff in front of your daughter, right?
Clawdia: I know, but your dad is so...
Clawdia whispers to Wendy.
Wendy: EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!
Wart: Let's just go.
They leave.
Dry Bones: Two tickets to Castaway Bay.
They are seen getting tickets from the waiter.
Boo: If you're the waiter... Where do you sit?
Lady: Waitress, and the busses consist of four seats and a kitchen down in back of the bus.
Boo: Okay.
Wario: Two tickets.
Lady: Sure thing, tubby.
Wario: HOW DARE YOU?
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AN INSULTING WAITRESS!
Lady: Sir, I'm going to have to tell you to put a lid on it!
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! LIDS!
Wario: He's everythingaphobic.
Lady: OH! Sorry.
Waluigi pulls out a gun and holds it to the lady.
Waluigi: I am scared of sorries!
Waluigi sees the gun he's holding.
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! WEAPON OF MASS DISTRUCTION!
Lady: Okay then...
Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Toadette enter.
Mario: 1,000,000 tickets to Castaway Bay.
Lady: That comes to $2,000,000.
Mario: Okay!
Mario robs everyone in the station and gives her all their money, including that of the other people waiting for busses too.
Luigi: YOU LITTLE %*$&@*$*&^&#*#*%*&^**#(*$#(*^(($*#**#&%!
Lady: Shut up, sir, or I'm going to tazer you!
She pulls out a tazer.
Boo: There's the bus!
Wario: Let's-a go.
They get on the bus as Bowser and Clawdia's team arrive.
Clawdia: Four tickets! One for my hubby, one for a sweat young girl, one for an ugly frog, and one for a sweet young thing.
Clawdia point's to herself on the sweet young thing.
Lady: Okay.
Bowser: Okay!
Wart: Thanks for the compliment, Clawdia.
Clawdia: Don't mention it, hon.
Wart: You just called your brother-in-law hon...
Wendy: Mom's hopped up on vodka martinies from the last Pitstop.
Bowser: I see.
Luigi: There is the bus.
Mario and Toad's teams get on the bus.
Larry, Ludwig, Yoshi, and Birdo are seen running through the field reading the clue.
Larry: Chomp Express, eh?
Birdo accidentaly speaks using her original language and confuses everyone.
Yoshi: What?
Birdo: I love Chomps.
Ludwig: Okay then... Whatever.
On Dry Bones and Wario's bus...
Lady: Champaine...? Champaine...?
Dry Bones falls apart and the lady mistakes him for a normal pile of bones.
Lady: Boo, I'm going to have to store the bones in the closet down back.
Boo: No!
Lady: Sir, you have to give me the bones.
Boo: NO!
Lady: SIR!
Boo: Back off, %&$&&#*&!
Lady: Gasp!
Wario: Way to tell her off.
Lady: Gasp!
Wario and Boo are kicked off the train.
Boo: That was Dry Bones, you idiot.
Wario: Well... Waluigi is going to freak when he wakes up.
Boo: Well... hop on my back, slash head, and I'll carry you.
Wario: Okay.
Boo: Alliance time.
Wario: Fine.
Wario hops on and Boo flies at high
speed towards the bus.
Clawdia: Let's go.
Bowser and Clawdia's teams get on the
bus.
Yoshi and Larry: Four tickets.
Lady: Okay.
Birdo: Hahahahaha!
Yoshi: What so funny, honey?
Birdo falls on the floor and begins rolling around while laughing.
Larry: Ummmmm, somebody help her.
Birdo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
The screen cuts to Phil.
Phil: Laughing gas is always fun to use.
The screen cuts back to the teams.
Ludwig: Please stop!
Dry Bones and Waluigi arrive.
Dry Bones: The clue!
Waluigi: Where is Wario?
Dry Bones: I don't know.
Waluigi: Let's still go but leave a trail for them.
Dry Bones: K.
Waluigi reads the clue but begins crying.
Dry Bones: What?
Waluigi: We have to run all around the
dock and find the clues attached under one of the boards the dock is made
of.
Dry Bones: Okay then.
Waluigi: I know! Just put the clue back and they'll get it.
Dry Bones: K.
They run off as team Mario and Toad arrive.
Mario: Take the same bus to Cheese Land.
Mario grins while saying that.
Luigi: You're not fooling me, Mario.
Toad: We have to look underneath each and every board until we get the clue.
They run.
Boo and Wario arrive, grab a clue, and run off.
Boo: I hope we can find them.
Wario: I do too.
Team Yoshi and Larry get on a bus. Birdo is carried on.
Lady: Champaine...? Champaine...?
Birdo: Champaine... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Lady: Okay...
The lady runs to the back, scared.
Dry Bones: I found the clues!
Waluigi: LOOK OVER THERE!
Dry Bones: What?
Waluigi: THEY ARE COM!ING
Dry Bones sees Boo and Wario running at high speed.
Dry Bones: Let's see. Roadblock! Go to the jungle area and have one member play a coin catching game. The team will get their next clue after twenty coins are collected.
Wario: We are here!
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! SKELETON AND
FAT MAN!
Team Bowser and Clawdia arrive.
Bowser: The clues are under the dock.
Clawdia: A walk under the dock.
Wart: No! We look under the dock's boards
as we walk around.
The last two teams arrive. They get
the clue and go.
Team Dry Bones and Wario reach the Roadblock.
Ukiki: Uh uh uh! Ugly plumbers and living dead here to play.
Wario: If I was allowed to, I'd rip your tail off for that.
Ukiki: Well you can't, so nya.
Wario and Boo jump on the stage and
begin jumping at coins while avoiding Spinies.
Teams Mario and Toad arrive at the Roadblock.
Luigi: All's we had to do was follow them until they got the clues.
Toadette: HAHA! We are so good!
Ukiki: You here to play?
Mario: YAY! I LOVE PLAYING!
Mario and Toad jump on and also begin jumping at coins.
Toadette: Was letting Mario on good?
Luigi: Oh, it was. Listen to this. MARIO! IF YOU GET TWENTY COIN'S WE CAN GO TO CHEESE LAND!
Mario: YIPPEE!
Mario begins knocking the others over just to race them to the coins.
Toadette: Smart thinking.
Bowser: GOT THE CLUE!
Wart: Now you just need to reach it under the dock.
Wendy: I can't reach.
Bowser: Never fear, dear.
Bowser punches a hole in the dock near the board with the clues.
Wart: Now we're getting somewhere.
They get the clues and go as Yoshi and Larry's teams arrive.
Yoshi: Under the dock!
Birdo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! UNDER THE DOCK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Larry is seen trying to hold back a
scream.
Boo: I got another and- ACK!
Boo is hit with a Spiny. Wario is seen with several bruises from Spinies.
Wario: COME TO PAPA, MONEY!
Ukiki: You must be from the looney bin.
Wario = 12
Boo = 16
Toad = 15
Mario = 18
Dry Bones: FOUR MORE, BOO!
Waluigi: EIGHT... AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Dry Bones: You have to stop that!
Bowser and Clawdia's teams arrive and Bowser and Wendy jump on and begin grabbing coins.
Clawdia: Why can't I go on?
Wart: You just want to go on to be with Bowser, don't you?
Clawdia: Yeah, but he's just so...
Clawdia whispers to Wart...
Wart: EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW! Never say that again or I'll be forced to throw you into the sea.
Ukiki: Cool... floating Koopa...
Wario = 15
Boo = 18
Bowser = 4
Wendy = 7
Toad = 17
Mario = 19
Clawdia: GO, HONEY!
Wendy: I hope you're talking about me.
Clawdia: Oops! Sorry, dear, I never noticed you! I was looking at your father.
Wendy: O_O
Yoshi is seen wiggling his tongue around under the dock until he pulls in the last two clues.
Birdo: HAHAHAHA! SUPER LONG TONGUE!
Larry is seen shouting with his head under the water.
Yoshi: Let's go.
Birdo is seen laughing until Ludwig
puts a cork in her oversized mouth.
Luigi: YES!
Ukiki: Plumber complete task so plumber get clue.
Luigi: Thank you... Let's see... Detour. Upper Path or Lower Path.
Mario: Lower Path... Go to the mountain and jump from platform to platform on the lower sid,e then go to the lighthouse for the clue.
Luigi: Upper Path- Go to the mountain and take the upper side. The task is easy if teams can put up with an annoyance. I put up with an annoyance each day, so Upper Path should be fine.
They run.
Ukiki: Scores are:
Bowser = 13
Wendy = 13
Toad = 18
Boo = 20
Wario = 18
Dry Bones: Let's see...
Boo: I say for your safety we pick the Upper Path.
Dry Bones: Yeah! Remember the last time I jumped that much?
Boo: Yup! You jumped so much you fell apart, and here if you do you're going down into the water.
Dry Bones: K! Let's go.
They run as Yoshi and Larry's teams come up.
Ukiki: Oh for the love of freshly picked bananas, there's more of them.
Larry and Yoshi jump on.
Ludwig: Go Larry!... What the?
Yoshi is seen catching coins with his tongue before others can grab them.
Birdo: Where am I?
Ludwig: God, you finnaly stopped... Now you got amnesia.
Birdo: No! I just don't remember anything after Phil entered my room with some kind of tank.
Ludwig: Phil did that...? Phil gave you laughing gas?
Birdo: HE WHAT?
Ukiki: Scores are as follows:
Bowser = 15
Wendy = 15
Toad = 18
Wario = 20
Yoshi = 11
Waluigi: AHH! IT'S A CLUE!
Wario: You just keep getting worse and worse.
Waluigi: Lower Path.
Wario: Yeah! I don't need two annoying
things.
Mario and Dry Bones's teams are seen walking across the top of the mountain until the Shy Guy that ownd the boat shop comes out and follows them.
Shy Guy: Good day sir, sir, sir, and sir, would you like to buy a boat that's only the finest quality and I'm sure you'd like it and I know you want to rent one but I know you know I know you want to rent one. Just come back this way ya'll to that little cabin where I rent off my boats for all to ride and for me to get money and happiness out of knowing kind people like yourselves rented my boat.
Luigi, Boo, and Dry Bones are seen crying
from annoyance.
Wario and Waluigi are seen hopping from ledge to ledge... actually Wario is carrying Waluigi as he screams.
Waluigi: AHH! GAP IN THE PATH! ... AHH!
ANOTHER GAP! ... ANOTHER ONE! ... AND ANOTHER!
Ukiki: And we have three more finishers.
Bowser = 20
Wendy = 20
Toad = 18 (Yoshi takes his coins)
Yoshi = 20
Larry = 12
Bowser, Clawdia, and Yoshi: Higher or Lower?
Bowser: Upper.
Clawdia: Then I take Upper Path.
Yoshi: Lower.
Meanwhile on the Upper Path...
Shy Guy: So do we have a deal? I'm sure we do as I know you want my boats of extra fun and happiness.
Luigi kicks the Shy Guy to the ground and the two teams run.
Shy Guy: Okay then! Come again, ya'll!
Dry Bones: Dare to dream!
Shy Guy: I knew he wanted one... I guess he didn't have the money... I CAN LOWER THE PRICE!
The two teams get the clue.
Boo: Go to the Pitstop on DK's boat.
Luigi: LET'S-A GO!
Mario begins running and saying "cheese".
Mario: Cheese-a cheese-a cheese-a cheese-a cheese...
Boo: CLOSE YOUR MOUTH OR I'LL STAPLE IT SHUT!
Mario: Mean-a mean-a mean...
Luigi: My head hurts.
They continue running.
Wario: THERE IS THE CLUE!
Waluigi is seen asleep with tape on his mouth.
Wario: Pitstop!
Ukiki: And Larry is done, while Toad needs two more.
Larry: Lower.
Ludwig: Fine with me, I guess.
On the Upper Path...
Shy Guy: Oh boy oh boy you are going to LOVE my boats you four just need two go over to that there cabin with me and rent one. Do we have a deal?
Bowser: Deal this.
Bowser punches the Shy Guy over the side and into the sea.
Clawdia: That's my honey bunny!
Bowser: Please stop.
Wendy: Yeah or I'll throw a tantrum.
Clawdia: OKAY, just get the clue.
Yoshi: Jump and jump, jump, jump!
Birdo: Yes jump, jump, jump, jump across the path!
Yoshi: Oh we love to jump, jump, jump!
Birdo: Yes we love to jump, jump, jump down the path!
Yoshi: And we jump, jump, jump, and we jump, jump, jump, jump for our good old pleasure!
Birdo: Singing is fun!
Yoshi: Yoshi just hope nobody heard.
Ukiki: TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!
Toad: HEY! If I didn't have that dumb old fossile grabbing my coins, I'd have been gone long ago.
Toadette: Let's just take the Upper
Path.
Mario and Dry Bones' team jump on the mat.
Phil: Team Mario... is team one, and team Dry Bones is team two.
MARIO and LUIGI - 1st
DRY BONES and BOO - 2nd
Wario and Waluigi hop on.
Phil: Team three.
WARIO and WALUIGI - 3rd
Bowser and Clawdia's team are seen running away from a spaceship at the lower right area until they hop on the mat.
Phil: It's a tie again.
BOWSER and WART, CLAWDIA and and WENDY
- 4th
Yoshi's and Larry's teams reach the clue at the same time.
Larry: PITSTOP!
They run as Toad and Toadette reach the clue.
Toad: Pitstop!
Toadette: Let's go!
The teams begin running around, not seeing the boat.
Phil: Jeesaloo, what's taking them?
Yoshi and Birdo jump on.
Phil: Yoshi and Birdo... YOU'RE TEAM 6!
YOSHI and BIRDO - 6th
Birdo: By the way, Phil... I know what you did last night...
Phil: ... You... Errrr...
He sprays them with laughing gas.
Yoshi and Birdo: No... Not again... I don't want to HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Phil: *phew* That was close.
Larry and Ludwig jump on.
Phil: Team seven.
LARRY and LUDWIG - 7th
The boats switch and Toad and Toadette jump on Bowser's boat.
Phil: Take two steps to the left and one ahead, please.
Toad: Errrrr... Okay.
They do so.
Phil: Toad and Toadette... YOU ARE ELIMINATED.
Phil pulls a lever and a hole opens beneath them and they fall in. A cannon comes out and shoots them over the horizon.
Phil: That concludes this leg of the race. Goodbye to all.