Leg Five
Phil is seen on a boat.
Phil: I am here on DK's boat in the
center of Castaway Bay, where seven teams took a twelve hout pitstop to
eat beans, drink vodka martinis, and
rest on our fine wooden beds. Teams will now continue their journey.
Mario: Catch a boat to Cheese Land!
Luigi: Can I see?
Mario: NO!
Luigi: Let's see...
Mario: We aren't going there ever, are we?
Luigi: GO TO SHY GUY'S BOATHOUSE....
Nt that %^$&#^ again. Rent a boat and go to Grand Canal, where
you'll get your clue at the Standing
Tower of Piza.
Dry Bones: Water... Everywhere...
Boo: I know you hate water, but you will live through it.
Dry Bones: Let's just go.
They run.
Wario: A boathouse... I don't remember one... Oh, it said it was on the Upper Path from last leg's Detour.
Waluigi: AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH!
Wario grabs Waluigi and runs.
Mario: Hi, Mr. Shy Guy.
Shy Guy: I knew you'd come back! So
you want to rent a boat? I know you do but you knew I knew that but I
know you know I know...
Luigi: We want one.
Dry Bones: Yes. We want a four passenger one.
Shy Guy: Four passenger what?
Luigi: Boat.
Shy Guy: Can't help ya.
Boo: YES YOU CAN! YOU FREAKING OWN A BOATHOUSE!
Shy Guy: I do? ... Err, cool, I guess. It's on the house.
Luigi: Thank you.
They get in one and drive the motorboat
away from the bay.
Clawdia: Let's go.
Wendy: Mom, where did you sleep?
Clawdia: With your dad.
Bowser: So YOU were that big tubby thing in my way of rolling over in bed.
Wart gasps.
Clawdia: Tubby... Oh, you don't mean that.
Bowser: YES I DO! YES I DO!
Clawdia: Oh pish posh! Let's go!
Wendy: Okay.
They run.
Bowser: OH %&^$.
Wart: NOT THE BOATHOUSE!
Wario: Boat, please.
Shy Guy: K... How come you know I own boats when I didn't even know?
Waluigi: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! STUPID SHY GUYS!
Shy Guy: Now you can't have one.
Wario kicks the Shy Guy into the water,
and Wario and Waluigi jump on a motorboat and run over the Shy
Guy.
Yoshi and Birdo: Let's see.
Birdo: Standing Tower of Piza.
Yoshi: Let's go.
They run.
Out at sea...
Boo: Where is the place?
Mario: Where is your brain?
Boo: Mario! How could you?
Mario: How could I what?
Boo: Insult me.
Mario: I insulted you?
Boo: Why does that confuse you?
Luigi: He's dumb.
Dry Bones: I'm surprised you didn't know, Boo.
Mario: LOOK!
Luigi: Is that the place?
Boo: Might as well go look.
They ride off.
Wario: We're catching up... Why are they going so slow?
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! TUNA FISH!
Boo: What was that?
Wario: IDIOT!
Luigi: LOOK WHO IT IS!
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NEMESIS ALERT!
Wario: Errrrrr, okay.
Larry: Grand Canal, eh?
Ludwig: Yes.
Larry: Let's go.
Ludwig: IT'S CHEATING TIME!
Larry grins as they run off.
Bowser: Two boats.
Wendy: Where is he?
Shy Guy I'M IN THE WATER!
Wart: Okay.
Bowser and Wart get in a boat and run
him over, then Clawdia and Wendy get in one and run him over too.
Luigi: This is the place.
Dry Bones: I see the clue.... on that tower!
Boo: I KNOW!
Boo floats up the side as Wario runs
in and is seen running at high speed Boo gets two clues and floats
down the side, reading one.
Boo: Here they... ack!
Wario got his clue and jumped over the side and down on Boo.
Wario: Waluigi! Over here!
Waluigi: Magic Lamp or Detour?
Mario: Detour and Swing.
Dry Bones: And you're back to thinking of leg one.
Boo: Balloon or Gondola?
Waluigi: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! GONDOLA!
Wario: Ride the gondola through the streets of the Grand Canal to find the clue.
Luigi: Balloon- Ride a balloon over the city until the clue is seen in the water.
Boo: You have ten seconds until the balloon runs out of air and you must pick another.
Boo and Luigi: GONDOLA!
Wario: BALLOON!
Waluigi: Aren't you too heavy to be using one?
Wario gags him, grabs him, and jumps on a balloon while the other teams get on a gondola.
Wario: Let's see. Where is it and AAAAHHHHH!
They go down.
Waluigi: NEXT BALLOON!
Wario: Afraid so.
Waluigi cries.
Clawdia: OH! GONDOLA! How romantic.
I don't know about you two, but me and Bowsie-Wowsie are going
Gondola.
Wart: Gondola it is.
Wendy: Okay.
They run off to the gondolas.
Larry and Yoshi's teams are seen in
their motorboats driving to the Grand Canal, but Larry is throwing oil
in
Yoshi and Birdo's faces.
Larry: I LOVE CHEATING... singers.
Yoshi: YOU HEARD US IN LAST LEG?!
Ludwig: That was them singing the jump song I couldn't get out of my head?
Birdo: Yes! That was me and honey.
Larry laughs as Ludwig whispers to him.
Larry: Okay, Ludwig! Yoshi! Want to start an alliance?
Birdo: Oh, that would be heavenly if you hadn't thrown oil at us.
Yoshi: I say we start one.
Birdo: What? Why?
Larry: You made a good choice, sir.
At the gondola...
Mario: After this can I have cheese?
Luigi: Yes, but if you wait and we win the race, you'll get extra cheese.
Boo: Don't go making promises, Luigi.
Dry Bones: This race could take a turn for the worst on you.
Mario: That's-a good-a!
Luigi: No it isn't.
Wart: Well, look who it is!
Clawdia: Hello, boys!
Boo: Hello, Mrs. Koopa.
Bowser: No time for chit chat, Wart, I wanna win.
Wart: I do too.
Wendy: Mom, can we make an unalliance with Dad?
Wart: Why?
Wendy: Well, Dad did tell you he made the alliance so he could slow us down and lose us at the last moment.
Clawdia: No he didn't.
Bowser: THAT'S RIGHT... I didn't... No I didn't...
Bowser and Clawdia's gondolas speed
off, and so do Mario and Boo's.
Yoshi: There clue!
Ludwig: ... Balloon.
Birdo: So it's a Detour then?
Larry: Yes.
The teams run. Meanwhile at Balloon...
Wario: I see it!
Wario lands.
Wario: Where is he?
Waluigi comes running all scared.
Wario: What the?
Waluigi: I faced my fears. You read this while I go into a coma.
Waluigi passes out and drops a clue.
Wario: EVEN BETTER THAN I THOUGHT! Let's see here. Roadblock... Jump on the drawbridge. It'll launch you to the clue and then you must navigate the city until you find your partner.
Wario grabs Waluigi and runs.
Yoshi: Get a balloon!
Birdo: ______ ______ ___ _____
Yoshi: What?
Larry: I don't understand your language.
Birdo: Good, because I said a bad thing.
Yoshi: O_O
They grab a balloon.
Wart: There's the clue!
Wendy: Grab it, Queen Mom.
Clawdia: Got it! Let's see! OH PATOOIES, IT'S A ROADBLOCK... Oh, I wanna do this!
Wart: I will.
They get on the drawbridge and get shot through the air.
Bowser: Whoa!
Boo: HERE'S BOO!
Dry Bones: Roadblock... This one isn't safe for me.
Boo: Me.
Luigi: Me.
The two get launched.
Wario: ME!
He gets launched.
Yoshi: Where are you?
Larry: I can't see the clue.
The balloon begins to fall.
Birdo: OUR PLAN!
Yoshi gets on Birdo, Ludwig gets on Yoshi, and Larry gets on Ludwig. Larry looks around as they fall until he sees the clues.
Larry: I found it. Follow me!
They run.
The other five crashland on a house.
Boo: I'd be in pain if I wasn't dead.
Luigi and Wario: Mamamia!
Wart and Clawdia: That was wicked!
Luigi: O_O
Boo: I got us clues.
Yoshi and Larry are seen being launched.
Wart: Go to the juggling Blooper for the next clue.
Clawdia: LET'S GO, FOLKS!
They run trying to find the others
Dry Bones: Where are they?
Bowser: Hurry up, Luigi! I'm tired of babysitting your brother.
Mario is seen playing with a Blooper.
Mario: I'm gonna call you Jerry Berry Larry lll.
Wendy: Good Dad, save me from that %&$&#* man.
The others run up as Yoshi and Larry land.
Boo: Lets go! Up there now!
They run towards the steps.
Yoshi: Blooper.
Larry: K.
Larry grabs Yoshi's tongue and Yoshi spins Larry and throws him towards the others. Uoshi, having his tongue held is also thrown through the air. They land with the others and take off running.
Ludwig: Cheating's fun!
Larry: I know!
Dry Bones: I see the clue!
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! A BLOOPER THAT'S 8.5 TIMES THE NORMAL SIZE!
Wario: Pitstop.
Wart: It's at the Standing Tower of Grand Canal.
They run.
Yoshi: There it is!
Larry: Pitstop.
Ludwig whispers to the others.
Birdo: Ready!
Yoshi: Set!
Ludwig: GO!
Birdo sucks Larry into her mouth and Yoshi eats Ludwig. Birdo shoots an egg and Yoshi and Birdo jump on it and ride it past the others.
Boo: NO!
Luigi: NO WAY!
Yoshi: See you! Wouldn't wanna be you!
The two teams crash at the pit stop. Larry and Ludwig are spit out.
Phil: Yoshi and Birdo... you made a comeback to first, while Larry and Ludwig are second.
YOSHI and BIRDO - #1
LARRY and LUDWIG - #2
The other teams are seen running at high speed.
Luigi: I see him!
Wario: Yes!
Boo, Dry Bones, Clawdia, Wendy, Wario, and Waluigi jump on.
Phil: Dry Bone's team is 3rd, Clawdia's is 4th, Wario's is 5th.
DRY BONES and BOO - #3
CLAWDIA and WENDY - #4
WARIO and WALUIGI - #5
Two teams are seen running and the screen cuts to Phil as a team jumps on.
Phil: ... Mario and Luigi... you're team six.
MARIO and LUIGI - #6
Phil: Everyone but Bowser and Wart, off the tower.
Everyone gets off as Phil hits a switch, tilting the tower and dropping Bowser and Wart over the side.
Clawdia: BYE HONEY!
Bowser: I'M NOT YOUR Hone-
SPLASH!
Phil: And with that, another team is gone and six remain. Until next time, so long for now.