Leg Eight
Phil is seen by a castle.
Phil: I am here at the Chomp castle in Pyramid Park, where four teams checked in and ate chocolate... yes, this is the only decent pitstop. Teams will leave in the order in which they arrived... three at once.
Boo: Catch a Chomp ride to Neon Heights.
Clawdia: Never heard of it.
Mario: Is there cheese there?
Luigi: I don't know if any of us know of it.
Wendy: Well standing here isn't doing us any good.
Dry Bones: Let's go, people.
They run.
Wario: Okay, we have to be fast.
Waluigi: I hate fast.
Waluigi walks but since he's scared of walking he switches to running. However, he is also scared of running so he screams, then alternates between the two versions of movement.
Wario: For god's sake...
Wario lifts Waluigi and runs.
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP
MMEE!
Boo: There are four Chomps!
Luigi: Get on one.
They get on and are thrown off.
Mario: I'll give you cheese if you let us ride you.
Chomp #2: Arf arf!
Chomp #4: Arf arf arf!
Chomp#1: Arf!
Boo: Come again?
Luigi: A sign right there says no riding 'til 8:00...
Clawdia: Okay then... Won't Wario and Waluigi catch us?
Wario: We're here!
Waluigi: NNNNNNNNOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTT HHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRREEEEEE! AAAHHH!
Wendy: MY EARS! SHUT UP, YOU EVERYTHINGAPHOBIC FREAK!
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! UUUUUGGGGGGGLLLLLYYYYYYY CCRREEAATTUURREE!
Clawdia: Uh oh.
Ten seconds later Waluigi is seen in a full body cast with a plunger in his mouth.
Wario: That oughta shut him up for a while.
Dry Bones and Mario: It's 8:00!
Each team hops on a Chomp and rides off.
Wario: If the Yoshi team was here they'd probobly divert the Chomps in different directions with bones.
Clawdia: Yeah, but thanks to you and Waluigi, they can't.
Wario: I know... I'm a hero.
Waluigi: MMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHH!
Luigi: Well, let's sleep on the Chomp...
Boo: Why not?
Dry Bones: I am tired.
They fall asleep.
A few hours later, a large, beautiful city is seen coming into view. Its lights glitter and sparkle in the night, and the sound of people is heard. Cheers are heard, rockets are shot, and the one truly good sport, baseball, is being played. The Chomps arrive and toss the sleepers off at the bottom of the city.
Dry Bones: Hmmmm, whha... Oh wow!
Luigi: Wha... Oh my god, we're in a city. EVERYONE, GET UP!
Wendy: Now my beauty sleep is ruined... PRETTY!
Clawdia: Yes, now get the clues.
Dry bones: Let's see... Detour.... Star or Far.
Luigi: In Star you must star in a shooting film and shoot ten Koopa Kid pictures.
Clawdia: In Far you must hit three baseballs so hard they fly out of the field and out of view.
Wario: Far, definitely Far.
Clawdia: Star.
Luigi: Far.
Dry Bones: Star.
The teams run in two directions.
FAR
~~~~~~~
Wario: Wario swing!
Wario hits one out of sight.
Wario: Wario swing!
Wario knocks one out of sight.
Wario: Wario swing!
Wario knocks one out of sight.
Wario: Your turn, Waluigi.
Wario undos the hand bandages and gives him a bat, and Waluigi begins taking terrible swings.
Mario: Is that bat made of cheese?
Luigi: No.
Mario: Then I'm not touching it.
Luigi: This one is.
Mario: Yay!
Mario takes... and bites into the bat.
Mario: OOOOHHHHHHHHH! I never knew cheese had iron!
Luigi: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SWING AND HIT BASEBALLS!
Mario: Okie-dokie!
Star
~~~~~~~~~
Shy Guy: Okay, take this pop gun and shoot them there Koopa Kid targets until they're all gone and I'll give that clue you want. Here, take the gun and shoot away, because I don't like holding these clues because they smell like rotten Ptooie, like that guy who gave them to me smelt.
Clawdia: OKAY, WE GET IT! I'm shooting their %*$*# to pieces.
The four people begin rapid-firing.
Far
~~~~~~~~~~
Mario: I got-a three hits!
Waluigi: I got two... two... AAahhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Luigi goes to bat. He goes to swing.
Waluigi: You are lousy!
The scream knocks Luigi off gaurd and he misses.
Wario: OOOOOHHHHHHH! Nice one!
Waluigi: You are lousy too!
Wario: Why I oughta...
Waluigi: 2/3
Luigi: 2/3
Star
~~~~~~~~
Clawdia and Wendy: 4/10
Dry Bones and Boo: 7/10
Clawdia: SHOOT %*$#(#*$(@*! SHOOT $*(#@*#*$!
Wendy: I am shooting!
Dry Bone: Boo! I shot two more!
Wendy: And I shot four more!
Clawdia and Wendy: 8/10
Dry Bones and Boo: 9/10
Far
~~~~~~~~~~
Waluigi: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! I HIT THREE!
Luigi: I did it!
Wario: GET THE CLUES!
Luigi: Roadblock!
Wario: Go to the card matching game in the center of the city's lower middle area and play until your team makes two matches.
They run
Star
~~~~~~~~~
Clawdia: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
She is seen shooting like mad.
Boo: We did it! Let's go!
They get a clue and run.
Shy Guy: All alone, eh? I can't say because I'm here and- ugh!
Wendy shot him.
Clawdia: Did it!
They grab a clue and run.
Luigi: Here we are!
Shy Guy: MAKE YOUR PICKS!
Wario and Luigi make a pair and then begin a repeated series of screw ups. Dry Bones and Wendy pick wrong a few times, make a first match, and screw up a little more.
Shy Guy: ONLY ONE MORE, PEOPLE!
Luigi and Wario's teams get the final match.
Luigi: Let's go!
Wario: PITSTOP!
Luigi: Samsh into a window in front of you, find a way up, and break out at the Statue of Marioty. There you must go over to and up the elevator to the pitstop.
The teams crash through a window as the others finish, grab a clue, and jump through a window.
?????: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
?????: Sorry, coming through!
?????: Gotta move for me!
?????: KILLER ROBBER! AAAAHHHHHH!
?????: No, miss, I'm in a race here and I HAVE to break in and go!
Smashing, screaming, and excuse me, coming throughs are heard until four upper windows smash open and the teams jump out and run for the elevator. Wario and Dry Bones's teams get on one and Mario and Clawdia's get on the other, and up they go.
Phil: Hmmmm... A close game, eh?
Wario and Dry Bones's teams jump on.
Phil: Team Wario... You're first, and Dry Bones is second. You are two of the three finalists!
Wario and Waluigi - 1st
Dry Bones and Boo - 2nd
The screen cuts to the elevator opening and the two teams run out.
Phil: ... Here we go.
Both teams jump at Phil.
Phil: OH $*$(#*#($!
Luigi and Mario land.
Phil: Team Mario, you're third.
Mario and Luigi - 3rd
Clawdia: Well... I made it this far, and well... that's all that matters.
Phil: Yeah, but you're gone.
Wendy: Yup.
They start walking away.
Phil: HEY! I STILL HAVE TO STICK YOU ON THE ROCKET AND LAUNCH YOU INTO THE METEOR UP THERE!
Clawdia: Oh... Thanks, but I'd rather not.
They walk off.
Phil: AAAAAWWWWWWWWWW... Well you six are going for $1,000,000. Get some sleep and prepare, for tomorrow is going to be a big day. With that... I say bad bye.