EXT. WOODS - DAY
The Koopalings are all walking through the woods.
ROY
Explain to me again why we're
here.
LARRY
Well, we're following them. But
while we were engaging in all that
talking, they got pretty far ahead,
which isn't necessarily a bad
thing, because we don't want them
to know they're being followed. I'm
really sneaky, of course, so I've
managed to pick up their trail. We
should be there soon!
All of the Koopalings suddenly fall into a pit trap, except
for Larry.
LARRY
Uh, don't worry, guys! I'll get you
out of there in a second!
A great number of people are heard approaching.
LARRY
Uh, make that quite a bit more
time! I'm out of here!
Larry runs off. A great number of Goombas and Koopa Troopas
walk up to the hole the Koopalings are in and surround it.
LEMMY
I have a bad feeling about this.
EXT. GRASSY PLAIN - DAY
The Koopalings are being forced to walk with their hands up
in front of the group of Goombas and Koopa Troopas, who are
all pointing their weapons at the Koopalings.
ROY
Man, I wish this was a game of
football.
WENDY
Why?
ROY
Because then I could totally
destroy them.
IGGY
But this isn't a game of football.
ROY
Yeah, but still!
LUDWIG
(to Koopa Troopa)
Might I inquire as to where we are
heading?
KOOPA TROOPA
Yes.
LUDWIG
Well, where are we heading?
KOOPA TROOPA
I'm not telling you.
MORTON
But you clearly just said that you
would tell him, and you-
KOOPA TROOPA
I said he could ask. I never said I
would tell.
IGGY
I hate it when they do that.
INT. FORTRESS - CORRIDOR - DAY
The Koopalings are all led down a corridor in the fortress.
Various Koopas, Goombas, and Mushroomers all watch them go
by. Luigi is one of the Koopas there.
LUIGI
(to himself)
They captured the Koopalings?! I've
got to get word of this to Mario!
But how? These guys have put up
some kind of special field around
here that makes it so that ANY
communication in or out is
monitored.
A Mushroomer who is clearly of some importance enters the
corridor.
MUSHROOMER
Don't forget about the important
speech you're all required to
listen to later today! Except for
people on active duty! Fourteen
hundred hours sharp in the meeting
room! Be there or be late!
The Mushroomer passes by them.
EXT. KOOPA CASTLE - DAY
Koopa Castle is still mostly destroyed, but Goombas and
Koopas Troops are reconstructing it. Bowser is talking to a
Hammer Brother.
BOWSER
So, how long until this place is
fixed?
HAMMER BROTHER
At our current rate... about a year.
BOWSER
A YEAR?!
HAMMER BROTHER
Well, about half our forces
deserted recently.
BOWSER
Deserted the army?! Where did they
go?
HAMMER BROTHER
I'm not quite sure. Why don't we
get your kids back? Maybe they
could speed up the process.
BOWSER
No! I'm done with those stupid
brats! They drove me crazy! Well,
what about our intelligence
division?
HAMMER BROTHER
They were the first to desert.
BOWSER
So you're saying we have no
intelligence? We're all morons?
HAMMER BROTHER
(sighs)
"Intelligence" in this case just
means things like spying. It
doesn't mean actual intelligence in
terms of how smart someone is.
BOWSER
Then why is it called intelligence?
HAMMER BROTHER
Because another usage for the word
"intelligence" is meaning
information gathered for military
or political reasons.
BOWSER
But why confuse people like me, who
have trouble keeping track of words
with dual meanings?
HAMMER BROTHER
I didn't make the language!
BOWSER
Then who did? I want to lodge a
formal complaint!
HAMMER BROTHER
That's it! I quit! I can't stand
talking to you! I'm going to
wherever those other guys went!
The Hammer Brother storms off.
BOWSER
Huh. Maybe I should cut all of the
troops' pay. Then they'll work
harder to get their salaries back
to what they were like before!
Yeah, that will definitely work!
I'm a genius!
EXT. WOODS - DAY
Larry is walking through the woods.
LARRY
Darn it! I have to rescue my
siblings! But I don't know where
they are!
Lord Seth walks up to Larry.
LORD SETH
Uh, hi Larry. Have you seen Lemmy
anywhere?
LARRY
He was just captured along with
Iggy, Morton, Wendy, Ludwig, and
Roy by a bunch of Goombas and
Koopas.
LORD SETH
Where did they go? I have to talk
to Lemmy immediately!
LARRY
I don't know where they were taken!
LORD SETH
I thought you were the sneaky one
who could pick up on a trail really
easily! Especially one left by such
a large group!
LARRY
Well, I kinda had to get really far
away because I didn't want to get
captured. And then they left some
guards around where my siblings
were captured, so I couldn't try to
pick up the trail from there.
LORD SETH
Well, if you see Lemmy, tell him I
have an important thing to tell
him.
LARRY
Can't you help me out?
LORD SETH
Sorry. Too busy in my sidequest to
find Lemmy and tell him this
important thing.
Lord Seth leaves.
LARRY
Well, I clearly need some kind of
help. But who could I possibly get
this help from? I can't get help
from Bowser or the Koopas, because
he banished me... and Lord Seth is
out of the question. Not like he
would've been much help anyway, as
he's completely crazy. So who is
there left?
Larry seems to think this over. This his face falls.
LARRY
Oh, crud.
EXT. MUSHROOM KINGDOM PALACE - ENTRANCE - DAY
Larry walks up to the entrance. Various Mushroomer guards are
there.
LARRY
Uh... I come in peace!
MUSHROOMER GUARD
Oh, yeah right. Like we're going to
fall for THAT again!
LARRY
No, really! I come with... uh,
actually a request. I need help.
MUSHROOMER GUARD
Right. And we should listen to your
because why?
LARRY
I didn't want to resort to
this... well, actually I did. Ahem.
Remember that time when there was
that party that most of the guards
went to, but as a practical joke
Lemmy filled the place with some
kind of gas that Ludwig made that
makes everyone act really crazy,
and then everyone decided to dress
up really goofy? You know, so bad
that it would be embarrassing if
anyone saw them?
MUSHROOMER GUARD
Your point?
LARRY
I took a few novelty photos of the
event.
MUSHROOMER GUARD
You didn't!
LARRY
Yes, I did. And if you don't let me
in, they're going global!
MUSHROOMER GUARD
(sighs)
Fine, fine. But you're going to be
escorted by a bunch of guards!
Don't get any foolish ideas about
wrecking the castle!
LARRY
Oh, don't worry. I won't get them.
I already have them.
MUSHROOMER GUARD
That doesn't really reassure me.
LARRY
Too bad! Now take me to Peach! Or
Mario! Or someone of importance!
Mario walks out.
MARIO
What's going on here? Why is Larry
here?
LARRY
Mario! I need to ask you for your
help!
MARIO
No, I won't help you conquer the
Mushroom Kingdom, no matter what
you promise me.
The background behind Mario suddenly starts glowing while he
continues talking.
MARIO
Because I can't be bribed! I can't
be tempted! I'm a good guy, a hero!
And heroes do things for good! We
aren't motivated by greed! We fight
for the cause of good because it's
simply the right thing to do! We-
LARRY
Uh, Mario? That's not what I was
going to ask.
The glow behind Mario suddenly stops and everything is back
to normal.
MARIO
Oh, sorry. What was it?
LARRY
Well, my siblings all got kidnapped
by some group of Goombas and
Koopas. Since Bowser is still mad
at us, he won't help, so I needed
SOMEONE to help us out.
MARIO
And why should I?
LARRY
Because I think the group that
captured them is the same group
that destroyed Koopa Castle! And
they're going to come after you
next!
MARIO
Unfortunately, I can't help you.
LARRY
What? Why?
MARIO
Uh, top secret. All I can say is
that I'm required to stay here, in
the Mushroom Kingdom, at least for
the time being.
LARRY
I can't believe it! You won't help
me just because I've tried to kill
you several times in the past! How
shallow can you get?
Larry storms off.
MUSHROOMER GUARD
Is that why you wouldn't help him?
MARIO
No, I actually did have a reason.
And it actually was top secret.
MUSHROOMER GUARD
What was it?
MARIO
Sorry, top secret.
Mario leaves.
MUSHROOMER GUARD
I hope I get that promotion soon.
I'm tired of only hearing things
that are bottom secret.
INT. FORTRESS - AUDITORIUM - DAY
A very large amount of Koopas, Goombas, and Mushroomers sit
in the audience. Luigi is one of them.
LUIGI
Good... Maybe I'll find out more
about what's going on now.
The Mushroomer who previously made the announcement about the
meeting walks up to the stage.
MUSHROOMER
And may I now present to you... our
leader... the man who has created
this group with his vision... the
great, excellent, Smithy Jr!
There is a great amount of clapping from the audience as
Smithy Jr, who looks like a younger version of Smithy, walks
onto the stage.
LUIGI
What?! Him? Again?
SMITHY JR.
Greetings, one and all! How many of
you are tired of Bowser's tyranny
and imbecility?
Most of the Goombas and Koopas cheer.
SMITHY JR.
And how many of you are fed up with
living under a monarchy, rather
than a government that chooses its
leaders by their competence, rather
than their DNA?
Most of the Mushroomers, along with a few Goombas and Koopas,
all cheer.
SMITHY JR.
And how many of you are here for
other reasons that I won't mention
because there are too many possible
reasons?
The rest of the audience cheers.
SMITHY JR.
And how many of you are secretly
working for those governments and
are spying on us?
Crickets chirp.
SMITHY JR.
I knew it! THE CRICKETS ARE SPYING
ON US!
Some guards rush in and search the auditorium for crickets.
They grab the crickets and rush out.
LUIGI
(thinking)
Darn it! There go our cricket
listening devices!
SMITHY JR.
I suppose this gives new meaning to
the phrase "bugged"!
The audience laughs at this.
SMITHY JR.
Silliness aside, it's time to make
our move! We've destroyed Koopa
Castle, but that was just the first
part! The Mushroom Kingdom didn't
agree to the very reasonable peace
treaty I sent them, so it's time
for us to ATTACK THEM!
The audience again cheers.
SMITHY JR.
At noon tomorrow, we're going to go
and attack them! We're moving out
at eleven thirty in the morning so
we'll be there at about twelve
o'clock! LET'S GET READY!
The audience all stampedes out. Luigi follows them.
EXT. FORTRESS - DAY
Luigi exits the front of the fortress. There are large
numbers of guards (Koopas, Goombas, and Mushroomers) around
it. One stops him.
GUARD
Hey, where are you going?
LUIGI
I... uh... have some business to
attend to in the woods.
GUARD
We have bathrooms in the fortress.
LUIGI
Not THAT kind of business.
GUARD
Well, what kind?
LUIGI
Well... uh...
A beeping is heard.
GUARD
Hang on a second.
(takes out phone and turns
it on)
Yes?
(listens to phone)
Really? Well, okay.
(hangs up)
Well, I suppose you can go and do
whatever it is you want.
LUIGI
Thank you!
Luigi leaves.
GUARD
I don't understand why they said we
should let people leave without
much argument... but I suppose the
boss knows best.
INT. MUSHROOM KINGDOM PALACE - DINING ROOM - DAY
Mario is sitting at a table, eating some food. A beeping is
heard. He takes a walkie-talkie out of his pocket, turns it
on, and listens to it.
MARIO
Hey, Luigi! What do you know?
(pauses as he listens)
What?! Smithy Jr. again? I thought
we got rid of him back when we had
that whole adventure with the
scrolls of power!
Lord Seth walks up to Mario.
LORD SETH
(to viewer)
I would like to remind you that
this person is NOT the tourist on
Lemmy's Land who has the same name.
They are two different people who
have the same name by coincidence.
And now back to finding Lemmy!
Lord Seth walks off. Mario stares after him, then starts
talking into the walkie-talkie again.
MARIO
Sorry about that. It was just Lord
Seth again. Anyway, what were you
saying?
(listens some more)
They're attacking at noon
TOMORROW?! We'll be ready for that!
Get back to your position there,
though, before they get suspicious!
(listens more)
What? A treaty? He never proposed
any treaty. He must have made that
up in order to rally the troops.
Mario turns off the walkie-talkie and puts it back in his
pocket.
MARIO
Definitely a good thing I didn't
leave the Mushroom Kingdom when
Larry asked me to! I have to stay
here and protect it! A shame I
couldn't tell him I had to stay
here because Luigi wasn't here, but
that would be revealing important
secrets to an enemy.
INT. FORTRESS - DUNGEON - DAY
All the Koopalings, except Larry, are all in the dungeon.
LUDWIG
Okay, we need to find a way out of
here.
ROY
We already tried bending the bars
and breaking down the walls. What
else is there?
IGGY
Don't forget that we tried to bribe
the guards.
WENDY
Well, too bad that didn't work!
LEMMY
It's hard to bribe them when you
don't actually have anything.
MORTON
I've got a plan, and it's a really
good one! Definitely better than
the plans you mentioned! This plan
is sure to work! Well, maybe not,
but it has a better chance of
working than those other ones!
Plus, it requires very little work!
It's a great plan! You know it's
great because I thought of it! Very
simple.
IGGY
And what is this "plan" of yours?
MORTON
We do nothing and wait to be
rescued. Yep, that's it. Do
absolutely nothing but stay here,
and then wait to be rescue. The
previous two sentences, along with
this one, were completely
unnecessary, but I need to stay in
character by talking too much.
The other Koopalings stare at Morton.
MORTON
Well, I thought it was definitely a
good plan. I mean, it has a better
chance of succeeding than those
other ones, and it requires almost
no work! Really, what's not to like
about it?
LEMMY
The plan itself?
MORTON
Ha! Unless you think of another
plan, you're stuck with my plan!
Because if you don't have a
different plan, you're using my
plan without even trying! Cool,
huh?
ROY
Morton?
MORTON
Yes, sibling who just said my name?
ROY
Shut up.
MORTON
Okay. I will shut up! I will be the
master of shutting up! I will be
the greatest at it! As soon as I
stop talking, that is!
Roy hits Morton on the head, and Morton collapses.
ROY
Ah, violence. The answer to all
problems.
INT. FORTRESS - AUDITORIUM - DAY
The audience is once again in the auditorium, and Smithy Jr.
is once again onstage. Luigi is again in the audience.
LUIGI
What's going on? Why are we back
here?
SMITHY JR.
As you may have noticed, it is now
nine o'clock. And we're going to go
attack the Mushroom Kingdom RIGHT
NOW! I said that it was twelve
o'clock back then so that any spies
would get thrown off.
Some guards go up to Luigi. Luigi notices them.
LUIGI
Uh oh.
What happens to Luigi afterward is not shown. The camera only
shows Smithy Jr. continuing his speech.
SMITHY JR.
LET'S GO! VENGEANCE SHALL BE OURS!
Everyone from the audience runs out.
INT. FORTRESS - DUNGEON - DAY
Luigi and a few Goombas, Koopas, and Mushroomers are all in
the dungeon, though in a different cell than the one the
Koopalings were in. A Hammer Brother guard is talking to
them.
HAMMER BROTHER
Okay! You guys were all ones who
temporarily left the fortress
between the speeches. Therefore, at
least one of you is a spy who
communicated the plans to the
Mushroom Kingdom.
LUIGI
Wait. How would you know if the
plans went to the Mushroom Kingdom?
HAMMER BROTHER
Sorry, top secret. Well, actually,
it's because of our spies. Anyway,
you're all here to ensure that
whichever of you are spies won't
contact the Mushroom Kingdom. Sorry
about the ones who aren't spies,
but we can't be too careful.
GOOMBA
Oh, we understand. You can't be too
careful.
HAMMER BROTHER
Now we'll just scan you...
LUIGI
Uh oh.
The guard takes a machine out and points it at the people in
the cell. When he points it at Luigi, it starts beeping.
HAMMER BROTHER
What? This can't be! According to
this, you're actually a human!
LUIGI
Uh, I'm sure it must be
malfunctioning.
HAMMER BROTHER
Not necessarily... but where are
there any HUMANS in the Mushroom
Kingdom that would be spying on us?
The only ones we know about
are... are... You must be one of
the plumbers, Mario or Luigi!
LUIGI
I think I liked the malfunctioning
explanation better.
HAMMER BROTHER
Hey, you other people in the cell?
Let's double check. Take off that
costume of his... if it is a
costume.
The other members of the cell all grab Luigi and pull on his
disguise. It's ripped apart, revealing Luigi.
HAMMER BROTHER
Aha! I knew it!
The guard throws a few hammers at Luigi, knocking him out. He
opens the cell door and drags the unconscious Luigi out.
HAMMER BROTHER
I'm going to take this spy to a
different cell, a really tough one
to escape from this time.
GOOMBA
Why wouldn't you do that with us?
You know, to make sure we don't
escape, in case we are spies?
HAMMER BROTHER
We don't have many of those
"really, really tough to escape
from" cells, and the only one big
enough to fit all of you guys is
already being used for someone
else. We'll have to transfer Luigi
to another cell in that block. But
this works even better for us! If
Luigi's here, that means we only
have Mario to contend with! We're
sure to win!
The Hammer Brother starts laughing evilly.
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me!
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