EXT. MUSHROOM KINGDOM PALACE - ROOF - DAY
Mario and a Mushroomer are on the roof. The Mushroomer is
looking off the roof with a pair of binoculars.
MARIO
See anything?
MUSHROOMER
No. Why are we looking so early?
The attack isn't due for a while.
MARIO
Well, maybe they'll change their
plans! That's why I made sure to
get everything ready a good deal
before twelve o'clock.
MUSHROOMER
Wait, hang on... I'm seeing
something with the binoculars. It
looks like a... uh... well,
nothing. Just a fly. Sorry.
A large explosion is heard, and the castle shakes.
MARIO
What was that?
Mario runs to the other side of the roof and sees an army of
Koopas, Goombas, and Mushroomers attacking.
MARIO
What?! Why wasn't there someone to
watch this side also?
A Mushroomer runs up to Mario.
MUSHROOMER
Sorry about not getting here
earlier. But I didn't think I
really had to, because the attack
wasn't supposed to be until twelve
o'clock.
MARIO
(clutches forehead)
Darn it! We were caught unaware!
I've got to get down there!
MUSHROOMER
You could just use the stairs and-
MARIO
No! That'll take too long! Only one
thing to do!
Mario jumps off the roof. The Mushroomer looks down.
MUSHROOMER
It's never the easy way with those
superheroes. They always have to do
things like this. They can never
just run down the stairs like
normal people.
EXT. MUSHROOM KINGDOM PALACE - DAY
The Mushroomer guards are fighting a large group of Koopas,
Goombas, and other Mushroomers. Mario suddenly falls from the
sky and lands in the middle of the fight and joins in, but he
soon starts getting overwhelmed by the sheer numbers.
MARIO
Too many... I've got to fight
better.
Mario jumps on a Koopa and it retreats into its shell. He
grabs the shell and throws it. It knocks out a great number
of the enemies.
MARIO
Sometimes it's just too easy.
There is a sudden hush. The entire attacking army splits.
Smithy Jr. walks down between them.
MARIO
You!
SMITHY JR.
Yes, Mario... it is me! Smithy Jr,
also known as Smithy's successor!
You didn't think you actually got
rid of me, did you?
MARIO
But we destroyed you!
SMITHY JR.
Well... yes. But you forgot that I
could put myself together, didn't
you?
MARIO
(slaps self)
How could I have forgotten that?
SMITHY JR.
You were in a hurry. But now it's
high time I took care of
you... permanently.
A bunch of Mushroomer Guards suddenly run up to and try
attacking Smithy Jr, but he punches them all away.
SMITHY JR.
Heh heh heh. And now it's YOUR
turn, Mario!
BOWSER (O.S.)
Not so fast!
Bowser walks up to them with a pitifully small group of
Goombas and Koopas.
BOWSER
No one defeats Mario except me,
whoever you are! You look kinda
familiar, though. Like some guy
from some adventure I was in.
SMITHY JR.
That's Smithy you're thinking of.
BOWSER
Oh, yeah! You look like him!
SMITHY JR.
You have a talent for stating the
brutally obvious.
BOWSER
I know! Cool, huh?
Smithy Jr. throws his hammer like a boomerang. It knocks out
Bowser and comes back to him, and he catches it.
SMITHY JR.
All too easy.
The Koopas and Goombas from Bowser's army look at Bowser's
unconscious body, then quickly run away.
SMITHY JR.
So much for that deus ex machina.
And now for you, Mario!
MARIO
(obviously thinking
quickly)
Good thing I had this saved...
Mario reaches into his pocket and pulls out a Star. It
disappears and suddenly he begins flashing and the
invincibility music plays. Then a Mushroomer takes out a
hammer and destroys a nearby stereo, and the music ends.
Mario runs up to Smithy Jr. and jumps on him, knocking him
back.
SMITHY JR.
Hmph! Not bad! But what about when
that invincibility Star wears off?
Mario stops flashing.
SMITHY JR.
See? Now you're no longer a threat
to me!
MARIO
I defeated Smithy, didn't I?
SMITHY JR.
Only when you had levelled up a
great deal! Don't ask me why, but
after each of those adventures you
revert to your weaker state, which
is what you are in now! You have no
chance against me!
Smithy Jr. starts producing hammers out of nowhere and throws
them at Mario. Mario runs around, trying to avoid them.
SMITHY JR.
This is just like shooting fish in
a barrel, except the fish move
around and the barrel isn't small.
Mario, while still running around to avoid the hammers,
manages to get up to Smithy Jr. Mario jumps on him again, but
this time nothing happens.
SMITHY JR.
Told you that you were too weak.
Smithy Jr. grabs Mario and conks him in the forehead with a
hammer. Mario collapses.
SMITHY JR.
With Mario, Luigi, Bowser, AND the
Koopalings all either knocked out
or incarcerated, there's NO ONE who
can stop me from conquering the
world! Mwahahahahaha!
Smithy Jr. notices his army staring at him.
SMITHY JR.
Uh, I mean stop us. There's no one
that can stop us. NOW PILLAGE AND
LOOT THE CASTLE! What once belonged
to the corrupt monarchy will now be
ours!
TOAD
Corrupt? How was it corrupt?
SMITHY JR.
I don't know.
TOAD
Then how do you know it's corrupt?
SMITHY JR.
Well, the mere fact I didn't find
any evidence of the corruption only
proved that there was a cover-up.
AM I RIGHT?!
Smithy Jr's army cheers.
SMITHY JR.
So there's a cover-up AND
corruption!
TOAD
This is just stupid.
SMITHY JR.
Did you hear that?! He just called
you stupid! GET HIM!
Smithy Jr's army swarms up and grabs Toad.
SMITHY JR.
Excellent. Excellent. Now nothing
can stop me!
Lord Seth walks up to Smithy Jr.
LORD SETH
Hi. Have YOU seen Lemmy recently?
SMITHY JR.
Do I know you from somewhere?
LORD SETH
I hope not. Most people who know me
wish they didn't. So, do you know
where he is?
SMITHY JR.
We captured him. He's in one of our
dungeons.
LORD SETH
Good! Now I can find him and tell
him what I've been wanting to tell
him!
SMITHY JR.
Visiting hours aren't exactly
permitted in our dungeons...
LORD SETH
Oh yeah? Then... well... um...never
mind, the opportunity for a cool
guy attitude was already lost.
Lord Seth leaves.
SMITHY JR.
Well, let's get back to the
pillaging of the castle!
Larry is shown to have been spying on them from behind one of
the corners of the castle. He quietly runs off.
INT. FORTRESS - DUNGEON - DAY
Luigi is in a cell and is knocked out. He gradually comes to.
LUIGI
Ow... That hurt.
(looks around)
Oh, I'm still in a cell. Though
it's a different one this time.
I've got to get out of here. But
how? Hey, wait! I could-
The wall is suddenly knocked down, revealing a bulldozer
driven by Lord Seth.
LORD SETH
Aw man! This isn't even the right
cell! You're not Lemmy!
Luigi takes the moment to run out of the cell and get away.
LORD SETH
Crud. Now I bet I'm going to get
into legal trouble for aiding and
abetting a prisoner's escape.
Unless...
Lord Seth gets out of the bulldozer and walks off. He comes
back holding a Goomba.
GOOMBA
Let me go! Let me go!
LORD SETH
Shut up!
Lord Seth puts a green cap with an L on it on the Goomba and
also a fake mustache.
LORD SETH
Perfect! No one will tell the
difference!
Lord Seth shoves the Goomba into the cell and then quickly
fills back the wall.
GOOMBA
Man, I sure wish I had hands. Then
I could get rid of this stupid
disguise. Oh well, I'm sure people
will notice the difference.
A Hammer Brother comes by the cell.
GOOMBA
Help! Help! Some random crazy guy
grabbed me and put me in this
stupid Luigi disguise!
HAMMER BROTHER
You can't fool me, Luigi!
The Hammer Brother walks off.
GOOMBA
This may take a little longer than
I thought.
EXT. FORTRESS - DAY
Luigi runs away from the fortress, then stops.
LUIGI
Okay, I think I'm far enough away.
There aren't many people left here
because they all went to attack.
I've got to contact Mario!
Luigi pulls out the walkie-talkie again and turns it on, but
only static is heard.
LUIGI
Mario? Mario? Come in, Mario?
The walkie-talkie beeps a few times.
WALKIE-TALKIE
We're sorry, but your call cannot
go through because Smithy Jr. has
taken over the Mushroom Kingdom.
And the Koopas. If you want
service, you'll have to join up
with him or pay an exceptionally
steep fine.
Luigi stares at the walkie-talkie.
LUIGI
Oh no! They must have already taken
over the Mushroom Kingdom! I've got
to stop them! But what can I do?
Mario's sure to have been captured
if they managed to takeover the
Mushroom Kingdom. Who is there to
turn to?
A Sledge Brother walks up to Luigi and gives him a newspaper.
SLEDGE BROTHER
Extra! Extra! Buy a day old
newspaper! Giving out free samples!
(to Luigi)
Have I seen you somewhere before?
LUIGI
Probably.
SLEDGE BROTHER
You seem familiar, but I can't
think of exactly who you
are... uh... Extra! Extra! Buy a day
old newspaper! Giving out free
samples!
The Sledge Brother walks off.
LUIGI
Um... That was interesting.
Luigi unfolds the newspaper. The headline is "Koopalings
Banished By Bowser!" and a picture of the Koopalings is on
it.
LUIGI
Koopalings banished by Bowser?
Hmm... Well, I suppose I could try
to get the Koopalings or Bowser to
help me out, but I have no idea
where they are.
The Sledge Brother comes back.
SLEDGE BROTHER
Extra! Extra! Read all about it in
our free sample! Don't forget to
buy one!
The Sledge Brother gives Luigi another newspaper, then walks
off. Luigi unfolds this newspaper.
LUIGI
(reading)
Koopalings captured and taken to
secret fortress... Well, that's
helpful. What newspaper is this
anyway?
Luigi looks at the top of the newspaper. The newspaper's name
is The Coincidence Times.
LUIGI
Well, back to the fortress to free
them! I need help from someone to
beat Smithy Jr!
Luigi leaves. The Sledge Brother walks back in.
SLEDGE BROTHER
Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
The Coincidence Times goes out of
business! Something about giving
out too many free samples and thus
losing money and going bankrupt!
EXT. FORTRESS - DAY
Larry walks up to the entrance. Only a Buzzy Beetle is
guarding it.
LARRY
Are you the only guard?
BUZZY BEETLE
Unfortunately, yes. We're
unfortunately at a low point
because everyone else is attacking
the Mushroom Kingdom and-
Larry yanks the shell from the Buzzy Beetle. What the Buzzy
Beetle looks like without a shell is not shown due to the
camera angle.
LARRY
Perfect!
INT. FORTRESS - DUNGEON - DAY
The camera is now back on the cell the other Koopalings are
in.
ROY
(sarcastically)
So much for your "great plan"
Morton!
MORTON
What do you mean? It is a great
plan! There was no need to say
great plan sarcastically as you
did. That implies it isn't a great
plan! And it clearly is! Everyone
knows that it's a great plan! It
will succeed! Just because it
hasn't succeeded yet doesn't mean
it won't! I mean, we try to
takeover the Mushroom Kingdom,
right? And we always fail. But we
keep trying again. Why? Because
just because it hasn't succeeded in
the past doesn't mean it won't ever
succeed.
WENDY
Shut up, Morton!
MORTON
Why should I shut up? All I am
doing is stating what I am stating!
Why should I shut up? I haven't
been getting enough lines anyway!
So I figure if I don't get enough
lines, I should make my lines as
long as possible! Therefore-
LEMMY
(with Morton still talking
in background)
Why don't we just let him continue
rambling on and on? He's sure to
run out of steam sometime.
IGGY
Oh no you don't! I'm not going
through THAT again!
Roy hits Morton on the head. Morton instantly collapses.
LEMMY
Why didn't I think of that?
ROY
Because you never go for the simple
solutions. It's always complicated
plans with you that never work.
LEMMY
Hey! What about that plan with the
marbles?
ROY
Oh, sure, it made you ruler of the
Mushroom Kingdom for a day or so.
But then-
Larry goes up to them, wearing the Buzzy Beetle's shell,
which completely covers him up, making him unrecognizable.
LARRY
Hi, prisoners!
WENDY
Would you let us out of here?
Please? LET US OUT OR I'LL THROW A
TANTRUM!
LUDWIG
Wendy, we should endeavor to be
polite to him.
(to Larry)
If you succor us with our abscond,
I will proffer you a perquisite.
There is a pause. Then Roy hits Ludwig.
ROY
He won't help us if he doesn't know
what you're even asking!
LARRY
Don't worry! I'm here to get you
out of here.
LUDWIG
See? He did accept my proposition!
Larry takes off the Buzzy Beetle shell.
LEMMY
Larry?!
LUIGI
Yeah. Security is really thin right
now. I'm here to get you out of
here so you can help me defeat
Smithy Jr!
WENDY
And what's in it for us?
Roy hits Wendy on the head.
ROY
Idiot! Don't you remember? That
would get us un-banished!
LUIGI
Well, more importantly, if he isn't
stopped, he'll takeover the world!
You won't have anyplace to be un
banished FROM!
IGGY
Roy, isn't it considered bad to hit
a girl like you just did with
Wendy?
Roy hits Iggy on the head.
IGGY
Never mind...
LEMMY
So, how are you getting us out?
LARRY
Um...
LEMMY
You don't even know?
LARRY
I don't know. I was kind of ad-
libbing it as I went along.
ROY
Seems simple to me. Just unlock the
cell door.
LEMMY
Do you honestly think they'd be
DUMB enough to just leave the key
hanging around?
Larry looks at the wall. A key labeled "Key To The
Koopalings' Cell" is on it.
LEMMY
Apparently so.
Larry takes the key and unlocks the cell. The Koopalings come
out.
LARRY
All right! Now, Smithy Jr. seems
too strong for us to take on
ourselves. I was hiding when they
attacked the Mushroom Kingdom
Palace, and the guy totally
clobbered Mario. So we're going to
have to find a weak spot. But
first we have to get out of here.
LEMMY
But how? We can't all hide
underneath that Buzzy Beetle
shell...
Larry seems to think this over.
LARRY
I have an idea.
INT. FORTRESS - CORRIDOR - DAY
Larry is back under the Buzzy Beetle shell. The Koopalings
are following him while wearing chains. A Lakitu floats up to
them.
LAKITU
Hey! What are you doing with these
guys?
LARRY
They're being transferred to a top
secret area for being prisoners.
Keeping them in the fortress is too
obvious. Someone could come and
rescue them!
LAKITU
Ooh, that's smart. Well, go on.
Larry and the Koopalings continue on.
IGGY
(quietly, to Lemmy)
My question is, where did Larry get
these fake chains?
LARRY
Fake?
IGGY
They're not fake?!
LARRY
No, they are fake. I just said that
to scare you.
EXT. FORTRESS - DAY
The Koopalings all exit the fortress. Roy, Iggy, Wendy,
Ludwig, Morton, and Lemmy are all still wearing the chains.
They walk a fair distance away from the fortress and then
take the chains off. Larry, who is still wearing the Buzzy
Beetle shell, removes that also.
LARRY
All right! Now to go stop the evil
guy and get un-banished!
Luigi runs up to the Koopalings.
LUIGI
You're already out?
LARRY
What are you doing here?
LUIGI
Well, I needed help to stop Smithy
Jr, so I was hoping to get you
guys to help me out. I was planning
on rescuing you, but it looks like
you already got out.
ROY
Help? Roy needs no help to defeat
Smithy Jr! You can be sure of this
because Roy is referring to himself
in the third person.
LUIGI
No... he's too powerful for us to be
able to defeat him in a head-on
assault. Darn it! Mario managed to
defeat him so easily before... How
is he so powerful now?
LEMMY
Seems obvious to me. He rebuilt
himself to be much more powerful.
IGGY
No, you guys. It's because Mario was
back to level one, like he always
is after whatever adventure he was
on. Remember when Smithy Jr. said
that?
LARRY
Wait. How did you know he said
that? You weren't even there!
IGGY
Oh... um... right.
LEMMY
Think of a way to fix this
continuity error, fast!
IGGY
Uh... uh... Larry told me! Yeah,
that's right. He told me.
LEMMY
(wipes forehead)
Phew! That was a close one.
MORTON
Can I say something?
ROY
No!
MORTON
Why not? All I wanted to do was say
one little thing. Well, maybe not
one little thing, but a thing
that's small compared to some other
things I say. Of course, most
things are-
ROY
Permission to knock him out?
IGGY
Since when have you asked
PERMISSION to knock someone out?
ROY
Good point!
Roy hits Morton and Iggy, knocking them out.
LEMMY
Why did you just do that?
ROY
I've found that violence is the
best way to deal with pretty much
anything.
LUDWIG
I know what we should do! We should
go back into the fortress, break
into Smithy Jr's private database,
and find out how he got strong.
LARRY
Have you been paying attention?
He's not stronger, Mario is just
weaker!
LUIGI
Well, wasn't Mario around level
five when he beat Smithy Jr. last
time? It's only a difference of
four levels.
LARRY
But Smithy Jr. is supposed to be of
about the same strength as Smithy.
Mario at level four never could've
defeated him.
LUIGI
Maybe the levels are on a different
scale. In the original adventure
with Smithy, Mario's version of
around twenty or thirty is about
five on this scale.
LEMMY
Why are we debating this?
LUIGI
(pause)
Come to think of it, I don't know.
Look, the point is that either he's
stronger, we're weaker, or both.
The bottom line is we can't beat
him without making him weaker or
ourselves stronger, and it seems
like the more plausible course is
to make him weaker.
LEMMY
What was the plan again?
LUDWIG
Break into Smithy Jr's private
database and find out how he got so
much stronger.
LEMMY
Why would he even have a private
database?
LARRY
All evil villains do. It's the
latest trend. The previous fad was
to always tell the good guy their
plan in excruciating detail when
they're at their mercy.
WENDY
Figures. We just get out of there,
and now we have to go back in.
LARRY
Don't worry. We'll just get in the
same way we got out. Put those
chains back on!
Larry puts the Buzzy Beetle shell back on. They get Iggy and
Morton to wake up and the Koopalings put the fake chains back
on.
LUIGI
There aren't enough fake chains to
include me.
LARRY
Don't worry about that. I have a
plan.
LUIGI
What?
LARRY
We'll say you're really weakened
and that there's no need for
chains.
IGGY
Couldn't you just say the same for
us?
LARRY
They'd find it easier to believe
that Luigi is weak than that we're
weak.
LUIGI
I take offense at that.
LARRY
Okay, they seem to change the front
guard often for no explicable
reason, so they won't recognize us.
Let's go in!
They go back to the front of the fortress. A Mushroomer guard
is now there.
MUSHROOMER GUARD
I thought someone said you were
taking these guys to some prison so
they couldn't be found.
LARRY
Yeah, but then we realized that's
what our enemies would think.
They'd NEVER think we were dumb
enough to keep them here.
MUSHROOMER GUARD
Ooh, now that's smart. Go in.
LARRY
You're not going to question me
about Luigi?
MUSHROOMER GUARD
Well, it's obvious he's in such a
weakened state you don't need to
bother with chains.
LARRY
(to Luigi)
See? Told you.
MUSHROOMER GUARD
What was that?
LARRY
Nothing!
Larry and the others enter.
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me!
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