Chapter 3: Of Blitz and Gory
After Mario, Flurrie, Jabble, and the Punies all celebrated in the Great Tree, Mario and Flurrie went over to the Thousand-Minute Door.
Flurrie: Get out that Crystal Star, Mario!
Mario holds up the Crystal Star and once again the wierd lightshow comes on.
Mario: The new location on my map! It looks like some kind of city in the sky.
Flurrie: We should talk to Frankly about this.
They appear in Frankly's house.
Frankly: A city in the sky?!
Mario: Yeah, a city in the sky.
Frankly: You must be talking about Glitzville, the only city in the sky. The most famous attraction there is the Glitz Pitz, it's a place where people can watch battles or actually participate in them.
Flurrie: Well how are we supposed to get there?
Frankly: Well there's a blimp that lets people take rides to Glitzville. But you can only get a ticket from Don Pianta on the west side of town.
Mario: Let's find Don Pianta!
They walk on towards the west side of town until they see that it is guarded by a Toad.
Mario: Get out of the way! We're trying to get to the west side of town!
Zess T: Don't move at all! I'm trying to find my contact lenses! If you move you might break them.
Mario: What are the odds of me breaking your contact lenses?
Mario takes one step forward and a tinkling sound is heard.
Mario: Oh shoot.
Zess T: YOU! You broke my contact lenses!
Mario: And what are you going to do about it?
She gets a newspaper out of her pocket and rolls it up in her hands.
Flurrie: Where did you get that newspaper?
Zess T: Yaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Mario: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Zess T. starts chasing Mario and Flurrie. During the chase she starts hitting them in the head with the rolled up newspaper.
Zess T: I will stop chasing you and guard the west side of town until you get me new contact lenses!
Mario: Why don't you just buy them yourself?
Zess T: You broke my contact lenses, you have to get new ones.
Mario: You mean by defacing your property?
Zess T: Yes.
Mario goes into the Toad Bros. Bazar shop.
Mario: Do you have any contact lenses?
Thriff T: No.
Plenn T: We just ran out.
Mario: You what?!
Mario grabs Zess T. and the two Toads and locks them in the storage room.
Thriff T: He's got anger mangement problems.
Mario: We're in the west side of town, now where's Don Pianta's hideout?
Flurrie: That's a very good question.
Mario: Hey! Another shop!
They go into the shop.
Clerk: What do you want to buy?
Mario: We didn't really want to buy anything, we just wanted to know where Don Pianta's hideout is.
Clerk: What do you want to buy?
Flurrie: Oooooooooooooo! A Dry Mushroom!
Mario: Ewwwwwwwwww! What do you want that for?! It'll taste gross!
Clerk: That will be 2 coins.
Mario gives her 2 coins and the clerk gives him the Dry Mushroom.
Clerk: Anything else?
Mario looks at what else they have and spots a Dizzy Dial.
Mario: What's that thing?
He points at the Dizzy Dial.
Clerk: That's a Dizzy Dial. When you use the item it makes your opponents dizzy.
Mario: I'll take it!
Clerk: That will be 11 coins.
Mario gives her 11 coins and the clerk gives him the Dizzy Dial.
Clerk: Oh yeah. What's your favorite color?
Mario: R...
Flurrie: Yellow!
Clerk: Whoops! Wrong question, let me try that again. What's your favorite color?
Mario: Re...
Flurrie: Yellow!
Clerk: Well it seems that you're one of us.
The clerk goes to the far left corner of the shop and unlocks the door.
Mario: There was a door in the far left corner of the shop?
Mario and Flurrie go through the door, up the flight of stairs they see, and go through the next door.
Pianta #1: Who's dis?
Mario: Mario.
Pianta #1: And da next one.
Flurrie: Flurrie.
Pianta #2: Get out of here!
Don Pianta: Shaddup!
Pianta #2: But...
Don Pianta: I said shaddup!
Pianta#2: Yes, Boss.
Don Pianta: What business do yous have bein here?
Mario: We want blimp tickets for Glitzville.
Don Pianta: First yous have to do a favor for me.
Flurrie: And what would that be?
Don Pianta: My daughter, Francessa has run off with one of my employees, Frankie. I want yous to find them for me.
Mario: You can count on us!
Pianta #1: Before yous leave I think they says something about going away on a boat.
Pianta#2: Good luck with da case, mugs.
Pianta#1: Shaddup!
Pianta#2: What did I do dis time?
Mario and Flurrie flee before the big fight goes on.
Flurrie: They said that Frankie and Francessa are going away on a boat, so let's go to the dock.
Mario: Great idea!
They go to the dock.
Frankie: Hello dere! I'm Frankie and she's Francessa.
Francessa: What are you here for?
Mario: Your father, Don Pianta, sent us to come looking for you.
Frankie: Da boss is looking us? Francessa, maybe we should go back to da boss.
Francessa: We can't go!
Frankie: Why not?We have to get to da boss!
Francessa: Don't you love me?!
Frankie: Of course I do, love biscuit!
Francessa: Then It's settled. We're not going and that's final.
Mario: Fine, if that's what you want...
Mario and Flurrie go back to Don Pianta's hideout.
Mario: They're at the dock, sir.
Don Pianta: I see.
Francessa: Daddy! Wait!
Frankie: Boss!
Francessa: We didn't mean to disobey your direct orders, we just wanted to cruise!
Frankie: To an island with ancient treasure!
Don Pianta: Go ahead and have fun at the island! And while you're at it find the treasure so we can make a fortune!
Francessa: Thank you, Daddy!
Frankie: We owe you with gratitude, Boss!
Frankie and Francessa leave.
Don Pianta: All right, deres dese blimp tickets yous want.
He gives Mario and Flurrie the blimp tickets.
Mario: Thanks!
Mario and Flurrie leave the hideout and go to a place with a train and a blimp.
Ticket Taker: Do you want to go onto the blimp destined for Glitzville?
Mario: Yep!
Ticket Taker: May I check your blimp tickets?
Mario shows him his blimp tickets.
Ticket Taker: Go ahead!
Mario and Flurrie get onto the blimp. All of a sudden Mario's Mailbox XP starts ringing.
Flurrie: Now who would that be?
Mario: I'll read the message.
"Dear Mario,
I haven't learned anything new about
the Crystal Stars or the people who captured me. Sorry if it was a waste
of time for you to read this message.
Signed,
Peach"
Flurrie: She sure likes keeping in touch with you.
Mario: I know.
The blimp lands at Glitzville.
Flurrie: Now that we're in Glitzville, where could the Crystal Star be?
Mario spots a gigantic stadium in front of him.
Mario: Hey, it's the Glitz Pitz! Let's go inside!
They go in the Glitz Pitz and through one of the double doors inside.
Flurrie: This must be where you see the battles.
They watch the battle and see Rawk Hawk jumping on top of a Koopinator and winning.
Grubba: And the champion is Rawk Hawk!
Rawk Hawk: Fear the rawwwwwwwwwwkkkkkkkkkkkk! You better stick to videogame fighting because as long as you fight me it results in serious pain!
Rawk Hawk holds up his championship belt and Flurrie sees that it has a Crystal Star on it.
Flurrie: Mario! The championship belt has a Crystal Star on it!
Mario: Wow! You're right!
Flurrie: I think we should battle our way to the top and rightfully earn that belt!
Mario: Are you mad?! I think we should steal that thing!
Mario jumps over the enormous croud and onto the stage, but it turns out that Rawk Hawk has already left.
Mario: All right, lets battle our way to the top!
Mario and Flurrie exit through the double doors and talk to one of the security guards guarding one of the doors.
Security Door: You can't go through this door.
Mario: I want to be a fighter.
Security Guard: Let me rephrase that. You can't go through this door no matter what.
Mario tosses him out of the way and he goes flying right into the ceiling.
Security Guard: In order to become a fighter you have to talk to Mr. Grubba in his office.
Mario: Thanks.
Mario and his companion go over to Grubba's office.
Mario: Hello.
Grubba: Well you want to become a fighter, huh?
Mario: I didn't even say anything. How did you know?
Grubba: That's the only reason people come in here! Unless some of my employees want a raise.
Flurrie: Well, what do we do?
Grubba: Now just sign this contract and you'll be ready.
Mario signs the conract.
Grubba: Your name is Mario? Well we need a cooler fighters name. How about The Great Gonzales!
Mario: I prefer my real name, Mario. How about this fighter name, Super Mario.
Grubba: Nah! The Great Gonzales.
Mario: Well it was worth a try.
Grubba: Now I'll give you a tour of the place.
They go into the champion's room.
Grubba: Now if you actually get to be a champion this is the room you'll get.
Mario: It's amazing!
Flurrie: A beautiful room and a comfy bed!
Grubba: Now to the major league locker room!
They go to the major league locker room.
Grubba: If you manage to get past the minor league this is where you will stay.
Mario: Is it me or does this place smell like beans?
Shady Koopa: Sorry! That was me!
Mario, Flurrie, and Grubba go back to the office.
Grubba: JOLENE!
Jolene comes in.
Jolene: Sir?
Grubba: Please take Gonzales to his room.
Jolene: Yes, your majesty.
They leave the office and head towards the locker room.
Jolene: Here is what you must always do...
She walks right into a wall, not paying attention to what she's doing.
Jolene: Ouch!
Mario shrugs and walks right into the wall.
Mario: Ouch!
Jolene: Anyway.
They continue to head towards the locker room.
Jolene: You do whatever Grubba says.
Jolene walks into the door that allows entrance to the locker room.
Jolene: I meant to do that.
She opens the door and Mario and Flurrie go into the locker room.
Mario: I guess we should register for a match.
He goes up to the terminal and registers for a match.
Grubba: You'll face the Goomba Bros, ranked 20 in the Glitz Plitz. A security guard will escort you. Now you'll have to wait for a while.
Immediatly a security guard comes out.
Security Guard: It's time for the match, Gonzales.
They head over to the stadium.
Grubba: Now we have a fight to the death with the Great Gonzales and the Goomba Bros!
Goomba #1: You're going down!
Goomba #2: We outmatch you!
Goomba #3: You better know a good doctor!
Grubba: Let's get ready to batlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll...
Grubba starts to turn purple and he falls down unconscious.
Jolene: Er... Let's battle!
Mario kicks the first Goomba which makes it fly right into the other two Goombas, resulting in all three Goombas being stacked up on the ground.
Jolene: And the winner is the Great Gonzales! So how did you feel about the match?
Mario: A match? I thought that was practice! That was so easy! I think they shouldn't even be in the competiton anymore!
Jolene: You know. I think you're right. Security!
The security guards toss the Goomba Bros. out the door.
Jolene: And that's all we have for now!
Audience: Booooooooooooooooo!
They start throwing trash, vegetables, and other various things at Jolene.
Jolene: Ouch! Why me?
Mario and Flurrie go back into their locker room and activates the terminal for the next match.
Grubba: Next you'll be up against the K.P Koopas!
King K: Hey Gonzales!
Mario: What?
King K: You'll be up against me in this match!
Mario: Whatever.
Mario, Flurrie, and King K go over to the stadium.
Grubba: Now we have a fight to the finish with the Great Gonzales and the K.P Koopas!
King K: You're not going to win!
Mario: Yes I am!
K.P Paratroopa: No you're not!
Flurrie: Yes he is!
Grubba: Let's get ready to battle!
Mario takes off King K's sunglasses and throws it on top of the K.P Paratroopa.
King K: Auuuggggghhhhh! My glasses! I can't see without my glasses!
King K spots something shiny on top of the K.P Paratroopa.
King K: YOU! You stole my glasses!
K.P Paratroopa: No I didn't!
King K: That's right, both of you did!
K.P Koopa: Wha?
King K tackles the other two K.P Koopas and they fight in a big cloud of dust. Eventually they stop fighting and end up having bumps and bruises all over them.
Grubba: And the winner is the Great Gonzales!
Mario and Flurrie go back to their locker room.
Flurrie: Dang! These battles are easy!
They go to the terminal to register for another match.
Grubba: Now you'll be up against the Pokey Triplets!
Mario and Flurrie go to the stadium.
Grubba: It's a fight to the end with the Great Gonzales and the Pokey Triplets!
Pokey #1: You can't hurt us by jumping on us!
Pokey #2: And it's not like you've got a flamethrower.
Pokey #3: Don't worry, this will only hurt a lot!
Grubba: Let's get ready to battle!
Mario takes out a flamethrower.
Pokey#2: I had to say flamethrower...
Mario torches the Pokeys with his flamethrower.
Pokey #1: That really hurt!
Pokey #3: We're lucky we didn't turn into ashes.
Grubba: And the winner is the Great Gonzales!
Mario and Flurrie go back to the locker room.
Mario: Let's register for another match!
Jolene comes in with Bandy Andy.
Jolene: I said stop following me! It's creepy when you do that!
Bandy Andy: What are you talking about? I wasn't following you! I was going back to my locker room!
Jolene: Uh huh. Riiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhhhtttttttttttt.
She leaves the locker room. Mario shrugs and goes up to the terminal.
Grubba: Your next match will be against the Dead Bones!
Mario and Flurrie go to the stadium.
Grubba: It's an almost never ending fight with the Great Gonzales and the Dead Bones!
Dull Bones (all): We're dead! You can't defeat us!
Mario pushes all three of them off of the stadium and they end up as a big pile of bones.
Dull Bones #1: Well this stinks!
Dull Bones #2: Yeah, Dull Bones #3 didn't put on his deoderant today!
Dull Bones #3: Hey!
Grubba: And the winner is the Great Gonzales!
Once again Mario and Flurrie go back to the locker room.
Flurrie: Well, should we register for another match?
They hear a voice from the other side of the wall.
: Ow! Eeeeeeeeeeeek! No! What are you doing?! I want my mommy!
Mario goes over to the terminal.
Grubba: Your next fight will be with the Spike Storm!
Mario and Flurrie go to the stadium.
Grubba: It's a really short fight with the Great Gonzales and the Spike Storm!
Lakitu: If you beat my minons I'll just make new ones!
Spiny #1: What?! Minions?!
Spiny #2: You take that back!
The Spinies pin the Lakitu to the ground. The Lakitu strikes them with lightning but he also strikes himself with lightning in the process.
Grubba: And the winner is the Great Gonzales!
Mario and Flurrie appear in their locker room.
King K: Hey Gonzales!
Mario: What is it, King K?
King K: Well Hoggle at the hotdog stand made a new kind of hotdog guaranteed to let you win a match!
Flurrie: Well if that's the case let's get a hotdog!
Mario: Yeah, I'm hungry anyway.
They exit the Glitz Pitz and head towards the hotdog stand.
Flurrie: I can't wait 'til I get my hands on one of those hotdogs!
Mario: Isn't that Hoggle chasing a bouncing egg?
Hoggle: Come back here! I was going to use you as a dressing for my new hotdog!
The multicolored egg continues to bounce around.
Hoggle: You've got to help me catch this egg!
Mario: Okay!
Mario and Flurrie start to chase the egg around.
Flurrie: This is a fast egg!
Mario whacks the egg with his hammer and it hops on top of the hotdog stand.
Hoggle: Oh no! It's hopped on top of the hotdog stand! There's no way I can retrieve it now!
Mario: We can retrieve it.
Hoggle: If you say so.
Mario jumps on top of the hotdog stand while Flurrie floats to the top of the hotdog stand.
Egg: Spare me!
Flurrie: We won't hurt you!
Egg: Really?
Mario: Yep!
Egg: Now I'll follow you wherever you go!
Mario: That's great!
Mario, Flurrie, and the egg go back into the Glitz Pitz and to their locker room.
Flurrie: Let's register for another match!
Mario: Affirmitave!
Mario and Flurrie go up to the terminal.
Grubba: In the next round you'll fight against the Hand It Overs!
Bandy Andy: Wait Gonzales!
Mario: What is it?
Bandy Andy: You'll be fighting against me now!
Mario: Whatever.
Mario, Flurrie, and Bandy Andy go up to the arena.
Grubba: Now a very irritating battle with the Great Gonzales and the Hand It Overs!
Bandy Andy: We...
Bandit: Must...
Big Bandit #1: Steal...
Big Bandit #2: Now!
Mario: Okay! Try to steal this!
Bandy Andy swipes the bomb out of his hands.
Bandy Andy: Ha! What were you trying to take us for?! Idiots?!
Mario: 5... 4... 3... 2...
Bandit: What are you talking about?
Mario: 1...
The bomb explodes, defeating the Bandits.
Big Bandit #1: Dang!
Big Bandit#2: I hate getting tricked!
Grubba: And the winner is the Great Gonzales!
Mario and Flurrie appear in their locker room.
Mario: Time to sign up for another match!
Mario and Flurrie go to the terminal.
Grubba: In your next match you'll go up against the Mind Bogglers!
Mario and Flurrie go to the arena.
Grubba: Now a very short battle with the Great Gonzales and the Mind Bogglers!
Mario: Aren't you the ones who argued over which one of you would defeat me and then teamed up afterwards?
Dark Puff: Yep!
Pale Piranha: But now we have a new ally on our side!
Pider: I am what the Punies fear the most!
Mario: You can't get to this rank that fast! You cheated!
Grubba: Security!
The security guards take them out of the Glitz Pitz.
Dark Puff: Curse you, Mario!
Pale Piranha: We will defeat you one day!
Pider: We will have revenge!
Mario and Flurrie once again appear in their locker room.
King K: After my next match I'm going to retire.
Mario: Okay.
Mario and Flurrie go up to the terminal.
Grubba: In your next fight you'll go against the Punk Rocks!
Cleftor: Hey Gonzales!
Mario: What is it?
Cleftor: Now you'll go up against me!
Mario: Who cares?!
Cleftor: I do!
Mario, Flurrie, and Cleftor go up to the arena.
Grubba: Now there will be an 8-second battle with the Great Gonzales and the Punk Rocks!
Cleftor: Give up!
Bald Cleft #1: You will be defeated!
Bald Cleft#2: Are you sure we should be irritating him?
Mario: Earthquake!
Cleftor and Bald Clefts: Where?!
They all panic and run into each other, knocking themselves out.
Grubba: And the winner is the Great Gonzales!
Once more Mario and Flurrie appear in their locker room.
Flurrie: Let's sign up for the next match!
Mario: Double affirmitave!
They go up to the terminal.
Grubba: In your next battle you'll go up against Da Bombs.
Crash: Gonzales!
Mario: What do you want with me?!
Crash: Now you'll go up against me!
Mario: Who cares?!
Crash: Me!
Mario, Flurrie, and Crash go to the arena.
Grubba: Now it's an explosive battle with the Great Gonzales and Da Bombs!
Crash: You're going down!
Bob-omb #1: Yeah, what he said!
Bob-omb #2: But he's already on the ground.
Mario: You're airheads!
They all get mad and explode.
Grubba: And the winner is the Great Gonzales!
Mario and Flurrie go to their locker room and Jolene comes in with a new contestant.
Jolene: Okay, Sir Swoop go sign up for your first match!
Sir Swoop: This'll be easy.
Sir Swoop signs up for his first match and leaves the room.
Mario: Well this is the final Minor League match! After this we'll move on to the Major League!
Flurrie: This is so exciting!
They go up to the terminal.
Grubba: Well your first match against people in the Major League is with the Iron Adonis Twins!
Mario and Flurrie go up to the arena.
Grubba: Now on with the exciting battle against the Great Gonzales and the Iron Adonis Twins!
Red Cleft: You cannot defeat us!
Green Cleft: Our defense is so high none of your attacks can do any damage!
They shut their eyes, start laughing, and Mario and Flurrie retreat back to their locker room.
Mario: Well what do we do now?
Flurrie: Look! It's a baby Yoshi!
They see a green Yoshi with a red mohawk.
Yoshi: Hello there, Gonzales! Thank you for saving me from Hoggle out there!
Mario: Well I...
Yoshi: I know you have to get a Crystal Star and defeat the Iron Clefts.
Flurrie: How did you know?
Yoshi: I heard about everything inside the egg! And for saving me from Hoggle and keeping me safe I will join you on your adventure!
Flurrie shrinks and flies into Mario's pocket.
Flurrie: Both of you are right! It is comfy in here!
Goombella and Koops: Told you!
Mario: Do you have a name?
Yoshi: Well, not really. You should name me!
Mario: Okay!
Mario thinks for a while until he finally decides on a name.
Mario: You've got a mohawk so I'll call you Spike!
Spike: I like that name! I can run really fast, eat stuff, and spit it back out! Speaking of which, let's go defeat those Iron Clefts!
Mario and Spike go over to the arena by the time the Iron Clefts stop laughing.
Red Cleft: I notice you've got a new partner.
Green Cleft: Let's tenderize him!
Spike: Feel my wrath!
Spike eats one of the Iron Clefts and spits it back out at the other one.
Red Cleft: How is it possible?
Green Cleft: We've been defeated!
Grubba: And the winner is the Great Gonzales!
Mario and Spike go over to Grubba's office.
Grubba: You will now go to the Major League! JOLENE!
Jolene comes in.
Jolene: Sir?
Grubba: Take them to the Major League locker room!
Jolene: Yes sir!
Jolene takes them to the Major League locker room.
Spike: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. The Major League locker room!
One second later Rawk Hawk comes in.
Rawk Hawk: YOU!
Mario: Yes?
Rawk Hawk: Stop moving up in the league so fast! If you get to fight me I will murder you!
Mario: Hey Spike!
Spike: Yeah?
Mario: The Crystal Star on Rawk Hawk's belt looks suspicious!
Spike inspects the Crystal Star on Rawk Hawk's belt.
Spike: No wonder it looks suspicous, the Crystal Star on the belt is a fake!
Rawk Hawk: You called my belt a fake?!
Spike: Yeah.
Rawk Hawk: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Rawk Hawk leaves the room.
Mario: Are we going to register for a match or what?
Spike: We're going to register for the fight.
They go up to the terminal.
Grubba: Your next match will be with the Super Koopas!
Shady Koopa #1: Don't even count on winning, Gonzales!
Mario, Spike, and Shady Koopa #1 go up to the stadium.
Grubba: That's right! A 5-second fight with the Great Gonzales.
Shady Koopa #2: He looks really tough.
Shady Paratroopa: Are you crazy?!
Mario jumps on top of Shady Koopa #1 and throws his shell at the other two.
Shady Koopas: Darn you!
Grubba: And the winner is the Great Gonzales!
Mario and Spike go back to their locker room and to the terminal.
Grubba: Your new opponents will be the Spike Tops!
R.S Buzzy #1: We are almost invincible!
Mario, Spike, and R.S Buzzy #1 go up to the arena.
Grubba: Now there is a battle between the Great Gonzales and the Spike Tops!
R.S Buzzy #2: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
R.S Buzzy #1: What is it?
R.S Buzzy #2: He's got Spike with him!
R.S Buzzy #1: So?
R.S Buzzy #2: Don't you remember what he did to the Iron Adonis Twins?
Just as he said that Spike eats R.S Buzzy #1 and spits him back out at the other R.S Buzzy.
Grubba: And the winner is the Great Gonzales!
Mario and Spike go back to you know where and Mario's Mailbox XP starts ringing.
Spike: You've got mail!
Mario: "Gonzales,
Do whatever I say. Right now I want
you to go to the juice shop.
Signed,
X"
Spike: Whatever. Let's just go to the juice shop.
Mario and Spike go out of the Glitz Pitz and into the juice shop.
Podley: Someone got you a Super Hammer!
Mario: What does it do and how is it different from a regular hammer?
Podley: Someone got you a Super Hammer!
Mario rolls his eyes, grabs the box, opens it, and after he opens it the background turns white.
Toadette: It's me again! Now I'll tell you what the Super Hammer does!
Mario: You will?
Toadette: Yep! The Super Hammer lets you break bigger blocks!
Toadette walks away, the background turns back to normal, and Mario's Mailbox XP starts ringing.
Spike: You've got mail again!
Mario: "Gonzales,
Go to the Minor League locker room
and smash the gigantic block on the wall with your Super Hammer.
Signed,
X"
Spike: To the Minor League locker room!
They go back to the Glitz Pitz and inside the Minor League locker room.
Mario: This must be the big block I have to smash down.
Mario points to the big block on the wall.
Spike: Let's do it, Gonzales!
Mario smashes the block with his Super Hammer and grabs the paper laying in front of him when he gets into the room.
Mario: This is an interesting paper.
Spike: It's got everything you need to know about the Crystal Stars on there!
Mario and Spike go into the room and at the exact same time Jolene comes into the locker room.
Jolene: You broke down the wall and went into the Minor League locker room so I'll have to confiscate the paper you're holding.
Mario: And why would I give this paper to you?
Jolene: It's better than getting disqualified.
Mario gives the paper to Jolene.
Jolene: Now I will tell you why you should never break the wall down!
At Circuit Break City...
Jerry: Woah! This is cool!
Blooey: Yes. Very impressive.
Luigi: Where is the Marvelous Compass piece and the go-karts?
Torque: Right over there!
He points to the right of them.
Torque: By the way, my name is Torque.
Blooey: Why do you have a wrench on the top of your shell?
Torque: ...
Jerry: Hey Luigi! I think I see a Marvelous Compass Piece!
Blooey: He's right! It's on the trophy!
Torque: That's the prize for people who get first place.
Luigi: How soon can we sign up?
Torque: In fact you can compete right now!
Luigi hops into a random go-kart.
Torque: Ready... set... go!
As soon as Luigi starts the go-kart he crashes into a wall, making the go-kart explode. Because of the explosion Luigi soars over to the finish line.
Torque: You may have won the race but I'm going with you until you pay me the 5,000 coins it cost for that car!
Luigi combines the Compass Piece with the other ones.
Luigi: It's pointing to Hatesong Tower!
Jerry: Let's go!
Torque: Yeah, you better hurry!
Back at the Minor League locker room...
Jolene: ...and that is why you shoudn't bust our walls down!
Mario and Spike go back to their locker room.
Spike: What was her deal?
Mario shrugs and goes over to the terminal.
Grubba: And now you'll go up against the Spiked Orbs!
Mario and Spike go up to the stadium.
Grubba: Get ready for the supposedly short fight between the Great Gonzales and the Spiked Orbs!
Mario: You're the Bristles from Shwonk Fortress!
Bristle #1: Oh no! You're that tough guy from Shwonk Fortress!
Bristle #2: Run away!
They run away.
Grubba: And by forfeit the winner is the Great Gonzales!
Red Cleft: Punk!
The Iron Clefts Mario fought run up to the stadium.
Green Cleft: You may have humiliated us before but we'll defeat you now!
Spike: What makes you think you can?
Iron Clefts: Oh shoot...
Spike eats the Red Cleft and spits him back out at the Green Cleft.
Red Cleft: Humiliated once again.
Grubba: Let's hear it for the Great Gonzales!
The crowd cheers.
Green Cleft: Well this stinks.
Mario and Spike appear in their locker room.
Koopanator: Hey Gonzales! Jolene brought you a cake!
Mario: Mine!
Mario and Spike greedily gobble down the cake and go up to the terminal.
Grubba: Now you'll go up against the Magic People!
Mario: Creative name.
Mario and Spike go to the arena.
Grubba: Get ready for an epic battle between the Great Gonzales and the Magic People!
Green Magikoopa: Die!
Red Koopa: You don't stand a chance.
White Magikoopa: We like magic!
Mario takes one of their wands, sucks them up with it, and tosses the wand behind his back.
Grubba: And the winner is the Great Gonzales!
Bowser: MARIO!
Mario: Bowser!
Bowser: I will have revenge!
Mario: I beat you before and I can beat you again!
Bowser: Try to!
Mario: If you say so.
Mario jumps on his head so many times that I lost count.
Bowser: Aggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm lucky I didn't get brain damage!
Bowser retreats.
Grubba: Well it seems he have enemies that don't even have a clue what his real name is! Let me hear ya!
The crowd cheers and Mario and Spike go back to their locker room.
Mario: I can't believe Bowser came back!
Spike: Let's just sign up for another match.
They go up to the terminal.
Grubba: Now you'll face the Projectile Bros!
Hammer Bro: You're outmatched, Gonzales!
Mario, Spike, and Hammer Bro go up to the arena.
Grubba: Now to the very interesting battle between the Great Gonzales and the Projectile Bros!
Boomerang Bro: You'll never defeat us!
Fire Bro: I will burn you!
Boomerang Bro throws his boomerang at Mario but Mario jumps over it, making it come right back at them.
Grubba: And the winner is the Great Gonzales!
Mario and Spike go back to their locker room and Mario's Mailbox XP starts ringing again.
Spike: You've got even more mail!
Mario: "Gonzales,
Go to the phonebooth outside.
Signed,
X"
Spike: To the phonebooth!
They exit the Glitz Pitz, go inside the phonebooth, and grab the key.
Mario: What door does this open?
His Mailbox XP once again starts ringing.
Spike: I bet that will answer your question.
Mario: "Gonzales,
Use your key to unlock the door to the
storage room in the Glitz Pitz.
Signed,
X"
They go inside the Glitz Pitz.
Jolene: Who is making all of the noise in there?!
Security Guard: I don't know.
Jolene gets angry and starts chasing the security guard.
Spike: Okay...
They open the door with the key and go inside.
Ms. Mowz: Hello there, sweetie!
Mario: Ms. Mowz!
Spike: Were you the one who making all of those noises?
Ms. Mowz: Nope!
She makes a lot of noise jumping down, kissing Mario, and going out the door. Mario sighs. They go up the stairs and eventually up to the ceiling right next to a vent.
Grubba: You mean to tell me you have no idea who or what was in the storage room or what a Crystal Star is?!
Jolene: Yes.
Grubba: Go away!
Jolene: You big meanie!
Jolene cries and leaves the office.
Mario and Spike slip through the vent with their thin curse and go back to their locker room.
Spike: I wonder why Grubba was asking Jolene about the Crystal Stars.
Mario: Me too.
They go up to the terminal.
Grubba: Your next battle will be with Some Dude With A Spear.
Mario: That's a really creative name.
Mario and Spike go up to the stadium.
Grubba: Now on with the very cool battle between the Great Gonzales and Some Dude With A Spear!
Dark Craw: I will kill you!
Mario: No you won't.
Mario takes his spear, pins it on the stadium, and ties Dark Craw onto the spear.
Grubba: And the winner is the Great Gonzales!
Mario and Spike go back to their locker room.
Koopanator: Gonzales! There's another cake for you!
Mario: Huh?
Not noticing that the cake was there or what Dark Koopatroll said, he goes up to the terminal.
Grubba: Next you'll go up against Chomp Country!
Mario and Spike go to the arena.
Grubba: Now it's time for the Great Gonzales to tame Chomp Country!
Red Chomp #1: Bark! Bark!
Red Chomp #2: Arf! Arf!
Mario: It's time to go to the vet!
The Red Chomps start panicking and soon run away.
Grubba: And the winner is the Great Gonzales!
They go back to their locker room and see the Shady Koopa lying on the floor.
Spike: Oh no! He must've gotten poisoned by that cake that was sent to you!
Mario: What cake?
Mario and Spike go up to the terminal.
Grubba: Your final Minor League match will be against the Koopanator!
Mario and Spike go to the stadium.
Grubba: Now for a seemingly challenging battle between the Great Gonzales and the Koopanator!
Koopanator: You're going down!
Mario: That's highly unlikely.
Mario pours a bucket of water on Koopanator which makes his armor rust and making him fall down to the ground.
Koopanator: Can't move...
Grubba: And the winner is the Great Gonzales!
Mario and Spike go back to their locker room and Mario's Mailbox XP starts ringing.
Spike: I think that's X again!
Mario: "Gonzales,
Peel all of the Gonzales posters off
of the wall.
Signed,
X
"
Mario and Spike go to the lobby and
peel all of the posters. Eventually they find a key and once more Mario's
Mailbox XP starts ringing.
Mario: "Gonzales,
Use your new key to open the locked
door in the storage room.
Signed,
X"
They go to the storage room, unlock the locked door with the key, and go inside.
Bandy Andy: Help!
Mario: Bandy Andy!
Mario and Spike go behind the crates.
King K: Gonzales! Is that you?
Mario: Yeah! What happened to you?
Bandy Andy: Somebody flattened us while we were sleeping and locked us in here.
Mario: I have to sign up for another match!
Mario and Spike go back to their locker room and up to the terminal.
Grubba: Your final battle will be against Rawk Hawk!
Mario and Spike follow a security guard.
Spike: Hey, where are we going?
Security Guard: A room where you'll have to wait for the championship.
He takes them to a Minor League locker room and locks the door.
Mario: What was that noise?
Spike twists the knob.
Spike: He locked us in!
Grubba: Where is Gonzales?!
Rawk Hawk: Maybe he gave up.
Grubba: If he doesn't come soon he'll have to forfeit!
Rawk Hawk: Are you even listening to me?!
Mario: We've got to get out of here so we can get to the match!
Spike: What's this poster doing on the wall?
He peels the poster off of the wall and they go through the room it leads into and end up inside a Major League locker room.
Mario: Why is there a passage from the Minor League locker room to the Major League locker room?
Spike: I don't care, let's just get out of here.
He goes up to the door and twists the knob.
Spike: This door is locked too!
Mario: That's strange.
They go to the bathroom and flush themselves down the toilet, which leads them to the toilet in their locker room.
Mario: Now that was weird.
They go to the stadium.
Grubba: Gonzales is here! Now it's time for the championship battle between the Great Gonzales and Rawk Hawk!
Rawk Hawk: Eat my dust!
Mario: Ew! Why would I want to do that?
Rawk Hawk does a dropkick on Mario.
Mario: Ouch!
Mario starts to glare at Rawk Hawk.
Mario: You asked for it.
He starts to do various poses as "Everybody Loves Kung-Fu Fighting" starts playing in the background.
Rawk Hawk: What are you doing?!
Mario kicks Rawk Hawk.
Rawk Hawk: Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Grubba: And the new champion is the Great Gonzales!
The crowd cheers and Mario and Spike go to Grubba's office.
Grubba: This is great! You're finally a champion! JOLENE!
Jolene comes in.
Jolene: Sir?
Grubba: Take Gonzales to his room.
Jolene: Yes sir!
Jolene takes Mario and Spike to the champion's room.
:Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Spike: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ghost!
Mario's Mailbox XP starts ringing.
Mario: "To find the ghost go through
the vent.
Signed,
X"
Mario uses his Super Hammer to break the grate off, Mario and Spike go through the ventilation system, and they see and listen to Grubba in his office.
Grubba: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I like sucking up people's energy! I'll keep my very important paper on my shelf!
Grubba puts the paper in one of the shelves of his desk and leaves his office.
Spike: Let's find that paper!
They find the paper on the shelf and Grubba comes back in.
Grubba: Oh no! You know my plans!
Mario: That's right! We're not gonna let you get away with sucking up people's energy!
Mario and Spike chase Grubba all the way to the stadium.
Grubba: Big machine thingy, activate!
A big machine with a Crystal Star on top appears.
Grubba: Give me energy!
The machine gives him energy.
Spike: He's big!
Macho Grubba: You'd better believe it!
Mario walks up to the machine and kicks it, making it explode.
Macho Grubba: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
A Toad lands on the ground and the Crystal Star also lands on the ground.
Jolene: Mush!
Mush: Sis? Is that you?
Jolene: Yeah it is! Hey Mario!
Mario: Yeah?
Jolene: This is my brother, otherwise known as the first champion Prince Mush! And I was X, the one who kept on Emailing.
Spike: Wow! You were X?!
Jolene: Yep!
Mario grabs the Crystal Star.
End Of Chapter
Mario went to the top of the Glitz Pitz, defeated the evil Macho Grubba, and got the next Crystal Star! Mario's having a lot of excitement. Let's see what's going on with Peach and Bowser.
At the X-Naut base...
Peach comes in TEC's room.
Peach: What is it this time, TEC?
TEC: I want you to find out what Grodus is going to do with you.
Peach: And how do I talk to him?
TEC: You have to wear a disguise.
Peach goes out of the room, into an elevator, into the locker room, and puts an X-Naut costume on.
Peach: This is vey uncomfortable.
She goes over to Grodus's room.
Peach: Hey Grodus!
Grodus: Yeah?
Peach: What do you plan on doing with Peach?
Grodus: None of your beeswax!
Peach: Well of all the nerve!
She leaves Grodus's room.
In the Great Tree...
Bowser: Where is the Crystal Star?
Kammy: Interrogate people!
Bowser spots a Puni in a bush.
Bowser: Boo!
Puni: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
He runs away.
Bowser goes over to the Puni elder.
Bowser: Where's the Crystal Star?!
Punio and Petuni come out.
Petuni: Don't hurt her!
Elder Puni: What's this hag doing with you?
Kammy: Hag?! You're the hag!
Bowser: Cool! It's hag vs. hag!
Kammy: What was that?
Bowser: Where's the Crystal Star?!
Punio: Mario has it!
Bowser gets really angry and screams.