Paper Mario: The Thousand-Minute Door

By Koopa Kid

Chapter 7: Mario Blows Up The Moon

After Mario and Ms. Mowz get away from Pennington, they go to the Thousand-Minute Door.

Ms. Mowz: Toss that Crystal Star!

Mario tosses the Crystal Star. It bounces off of the Thousand-Minute Door and lands on Ms. Mowz.

Ms. Mowz: Not litterally!

Mario: Oh.

Mario holds up the Crystal Star and, as you guessed, the light show comes on.

Mario: I don't believe it!

Ms. Mowz: What is it?

Mario: The next Crystal Star is on the moon!

At Frankly's House...

Frankly: Is this true?!

Mario: Yes!

Ms. Mowz: How are we supposed to get there?

Frankly: Call NASA!

Ms. Mowz: Seriously.

Frankly: I am being serious.

Mario: Is there another way to get there?

Frankly: Get shot by a cannon from Fahr Outpost!

Mario: Okay.

Mario and Ms. Mowz exit Frankly's house.

Frankly: Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy! They're gone! Now I can relax and babble incoherantly!

Mario comes into Frankly's House.

Frankly: Mario! Back so soon?

Mario whacks Frankly with his hammer.

Frankly: Twinkle, twinkle, little star...

Frankly falls down on the ground and Mario laughs maniacally.

Mario: Ha ha ha! What a drip!

Purple mist surrounds him and when it clears it is revealed to be Doopliss.

Doopliss: That was so easy! Beldam! I did it!

Beldam and Marilyn come out of the shadows.

Beldam: You have done well, Freak-Sheet.

Doopliss: Doopliss!

Beldam: Whatever. Marilyn! Toss this lame brain in the closet!

Marilyn: Guh!

Marilyn tosses Frankly into the closet and locks the door.

Beldam: Let's leave this dump!

Beldam and Marilyn disappear into the shadows.

Freak-Sheet: Hey! Change my name back to normal!

Well sorry!

Doopliss: That's better. Anywho, I hate it when you guys do that!

Doopliss hops out of the window.

Frankly: I like pie!

At the West Side of town...

Mario: I wonder where the warp pipe to Fahr Outpost is?

Darkly: I know!

Darkly does a doubletake.

Darkly: Do you have that demon Yoshi with you?

Mario: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... No.

Spike comes out of Mario's pocket.

Spike: That demon Yoshi happens to be right here!

Darkly: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Spike starts to beat up Darkly.

Mario: Spike! Stop doing that!

Mario grabs Spike by his mohawk.

Spike: Ah man! Do I have to go back in your pocket?

Mario: No. You can stay here if you just control yourself.

Spike: Yahoo!

Mario lets Spike go.

Mario: Now where's that warp pipe again?

Darkly: It's right under that vent! Don't hurt me!

Ms. Mowz: Wimp.

Mario and Company walk over to the vent.

Mario: Didn't I toss that vent last time?

Mario tosses the vent away.

Spike: Let's go... again!

They all jump in and the vent hits the Pianta on the head again.

Pianta #1: What did I tell yous about hitting me in da head like dat?!

Pianta #2: How about I hit yous on da mouth!

They start fighting in a cloud of dust.

Mario: Oh no! I can't break this rock with my Super Hammer!

Spike: You should get an Ultra Hammer.

Mario: I've just thought of an easier way.

Mario uses Ms. Mowz as a battering ram and busts through the rock.

Mario: Thank you for your cooperation.

Ms. Mowz: You're welcome. I think.

Mario, Spike, and Ms. Mowz go into the warp pipe.

At Rapturous Ruins...

Luigi: This is it!

Hayzee: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Everyone stares at her.

Hayzee: What?

They go inside the gigantic tower.

Torque: There's nothing here.

Screamy: Yes there is!

Blooey: What are you supposed to be?

Screamy: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Jerry: What was that for?!

Screamy: My name's Screamy! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Luigi: Where's the Marvelous Compass Piece?

Screamy: It's in that completely unguarded glass case!

Luigi: We've got the final Marvelous Compass piece! The Marvelous Compass is pointing back at Hatesong Tower!

Screamy: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! That sounds fun! Can I go
with you?

Luigi: Yes.

Screamy: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Torque: Let's get out our earplugs first.

At Fahr Outpost...

Mario: Ms. Mowz.

Ms. Mowz: Yes?

Mario: I'm worried about Spike.

Ms. Mowz: He'll be fine!

Spike is frozen in a block of ice.

Mario: Don't worry, I'll free you!

Mario gets out a hammer and chisel.

30 minutes later...

Ms. Mowz: Did you free him yet?

Mario: No. But I made a very nice ice sculpture!

The ice sclupture is almost an exact replica of Mario.

Frost Piranha: Food!

The Frost Piranha crashes into the block of ice, which makes it shatter.

Spike: I'll show you food!

Spike starts to beat up the Frost Piranha.

Mario: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! My beautiful ice sculpture!

Ms. Mowz: Get over it.

They go to the town.

Bob-omb #1: Da!

Spike: What are you talking about?

Bob-omb #2: Da!

Mario: I'd like to compalin to the mayor of this town!

The mayor walks over.

Mayor: Excuse me?

Mario: I meant, where's the cannon in this town?

Mayor: Underground.

Mario: Can we use it?

Mayor: Da! But you have to get the guide from Goldbob and the key from General White.

Mario: Goldbob sort of went away for a little trip.

Mayor: Where did he go?

Mario points at the sky.

Mayor: He must've taken an all expense paid trip to the Bahamas again! Curse you, Goldbob!
Curse yooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Ms. Mowz: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Yeah, let's go with that.

Mario: Where's General White?

Mayor: He's in his house, sleeping.

They go inside General White's house.

General White: Snnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Spike: He's sawing logs!

Spike stuffs a gigantic cork in his mouth.

Ms. Mowz: The next part's easy.

Ms. Mowz takes the key from General White's pocket.

Mario: Now all that we have to do is give this key to the mayor!

They go outside and give the key to the mayor.

Mayor: Where do you want to be launched at?

Mario: The moon!

The cannon rises out of the ground and shoots Mario, Spike, and Ms. Mowz to the moon.

Mario: Hack! Hack! Can't breathe!

Mario falls on the ground, unconcious.

Spike: Mario! Are you okay?

Mario: Yeah, I just thought that it would be more dramatic this way.

Ms. Mowz: Look! It's a really big building!

Mario: Let's go inside!

They go inside and two Elite X-Nauts spot them immediately.

Elite X-Naut #1: It's Mario!

Elite X-Naut #2: Attack!

Mario tosses them away, making them crash through the window.

Spike: This must be the X-Naut base!

Ms. Mowz: Duh! There's X-Nauts here!

They go through the door and they see an elevator.

Spike: Where are we supposed to get a card ke...

Before he finishes his sentence, Mario smashes the glass with his hammer and goes inside the

Mario: What are you two waiting for?

Spike and Ms. Mowz go inside the elevator and to Sublevel 1.

Mario: I wonder what's behind that door?

They go through the door and find a Mecha Thwomp.

Mecha Thwomp: Welcome to the second longest quiz in the world!

Mario: I'm sorry I asked.

Ms. Mowz: What do we win?

Mecha Thwomp: Nothing!

Spike: Then what's the point of entering this quiz?

Mecha Thwomp: Well I uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Just do the quiz!

Mario: Okay.

Ten hours later...

Mecha Thwomp: Question 1,000,000: What question is this?
A. The last question
B. The 1,000,000th question
or C. The 1st question

Mario: A. The last question.

Mecha Thwomp: You are... correct!

Mario and his friends go out of the room, find another elevator, and take it to Sublevel 3.

Spike: There's a couple of scanners over there, so how are we supposed to get past the door?

Mario: I'll use my library card!

Ms. Mowz: That'll never...

Mario uses his library card on all three scanners, which suprisingly works.

Ms. Mowz: I don't believe it.

They go through the door, use the airplane ability to fly to the other door, and bust through that

Lord Crump: Well what do we have here?

Mario: Lord Crump!

Lord Crump: That's right! Now face the wrath of... Magnus Von Grapple 2.0!

Lord Crump hops into the cockpit of his new robot.

Lord Crump: I upgraded it with new attacks, and you can't take it apart!

Mario gets out a bucket of water and splashes Magnus Von Grapple 2.0 with it.

Lord Crump: Oh no! It's... it's... rusting!

It rusts and falls on Ms. Mowz.

Ms. Mowz: Shoot!

Lord Crump: Rats! Foiled again! I hate getting beaten! I hate following Grodus's orders! I hate this

Mario: Just give me the Crystal Star.

Lord Crump: Only on one condition.

Mario: What is it?

Lord Crump: Let me team up with you to beat Grodus!

Mario: It's a deal!

Lord Crump gives Mario the Crystal Star.

End Of Chapter

Mario has the final Crystal Star! But how does he get out of this place? But I'm not going to talk about that right now!

At Poshley Heights...

Bowser: Where's Poshley Sanctum?!

Kammy: It's right in front of you.

Bowser: How do you know?!

Kammy: Some Penguin with a cap and a magnfying glass told me.

Bowser and Kammy go inside Poshley Sanctum and spot the "Crystal Star".

Bowser: Yes! The Crystal Star is all mine!

Bowser grabs the Crystal Star.

Pennington: Hello, ugly turtle person! I'm sorry to bother you, but that's a fake Crystal Star.

Bowser tosses it at Pennington.

Bowser: I'm going to kill you too!

Bowser starts to roast Pennington with his flame breath.

Kammy: If that was a fake Crystal Star then who has the real one?

Pennington: Ow! Luigi has... ouch! ... the real... yowch! ... Crystal Star!

Bowser: Luigi?! I'm going to get those Mario Bros. if that's the last thing I do!

Kammy: That's good, because I heard that Luigi is heading towards Hatesong Tower and Mario is
heading towards the Thousand-Minute Door.

Bowser: Let's get them!

Back at the X-Naut Base...

Mario: Where's Peach?

Lord Crump: How am I supposed to know? Let's ask TEC!

In TEC's room...

Lord Crump: TEC! Where's Peach?

TEC: She's in the Palace of Shadow!

Mario: Where?

TEC: Behind the Thousand-Minute Door!

Mario: How do we get out of here?

TEC: Use the teleporter on Sublevel 2!

Mario and Lord Crump uses the teleporter to get back to Rogueport.

Frankly: Mario!

Mario: Frankly!

Frankly: Grodus went into the Palace of Shadow!

Mario: How did you know his name? We didn't even tell you about him yet.

Lord Crump: Is that you, Doopliss?

Frankly: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Of course not! We've got to hurry and get to the
Thousand-Minute Door!

They go to the Thousand-Minute Door, Mario opens it with the seven Crystal Stars, and they go into the Palace of Shadow...

Read on!

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