Chapter 13: Up, Up and Away!
Narrator: Today, Joshua and Co. are heading for Rogueport Station, to catch the blimp to Glitzville. Last time, Trooper, Joshua’s Koopa Troopa, evolved using a Hammer Stone to Hammer Bro. Joshua named him H Bro. Clawdia decided to join the group.
Joshua: I hate these sewers. Is this really the only way to get back to Rogueport?
Ms. Mowz: Sadly, yes.
Koops: It stinks down here!
Clawdia: Why not walk on top of the ground?
Joshua: We don’t know the way.
Clawdia: Morons.
Ms. Mowz: I kept Mario’s Magical Map.
Koops: How does that help?
Ms. Mowz: It doesn’t because it doesn’t show exact routes.
Joshua: *sigh*
Clawdia: Look, there’s the pipe to the surface. Let’s just go!
Joshua: Let’s-a go!
Koops: ?
Ms. Mowz: Why do you do that?
Joshua: I dunno.
They go up the pipe.
Joshua: Ah, good fresh air. I forgot what it was like.
Koops: We were down there for ten minutes.
Joshua: That long?!
Clawdia: …
Ms. Mowz: Let’s just go to the station.
Guess what? They go to the station.
Ticket Inspector: Hey! My name is Stewart!
Whatever.
Stewart: … Where’s your tickets?
Joshua: We need tickets?
Stewart: Duh. Get them or you can’t ride this blimp.
Joshua: Mindless violence time! H Bro, use Fire Drive!
H Bro hits a fireball with his hammer at Stewart and he burns to a crisp.
Joshua: To the blimp!
Stewart’s Ashes: My legs…
Joshua: You’re a Cheep Cheep. You don’t have legs.
Stewart’s Ashes: Everyone hates me!
The ashes blow away.
Ms. Mowz: Another pipe! It may lead to the sewers!
Koops jumps in. He comes out near the blimp.
Koops: I’m way over here, guys!
Everyone else jumps in and gets in the blimp.
Joshua: How long does it take to reach Glitzville?
Koops: 30 minutes.
Joshua: That long?!
Koops: …
Replacement Conductor: Hey, wanna battle to pass the time?
Joshua: Shouldn’t you be flying this thing?
R Conductor: That’s the pilot’s job. One on one!
Both: Let’s go! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN! DANG! Plitémon Battle!
R Conductor: Go, Tweeter (Flying)!
Joshua: Pathetic! I choose Weed! Use Vine Whip!
R Conductor: Use Peck!
Tweeter is caught in the vines.
Joshua: Slam it on the ground!
Weed does so. Tweeter is KO’d.
R Conductor: I knew I should’ve trained it…
Joshua: ^_^ That was easy! Return!
R Conductor: We’re here! Glitzville! Have a nice day.
Joshua: Later, crazy dude.
R Conductor: …
Joshua: This place is really high!
Koops: Nosebleed!
Ms. Mowz: Let’s bungee jump off this city later, just because!
Joshua: YAY! But first, I need to challenge the Gym Leader.
Clawdia: I believe she is in the Glitz Pit.
Joshua: She? It’s a girl?
Ms. Mowz: Duh. It’s Jolene. You didn’t know?
Joshua: Is this the look of a person in the know: ?_?
Ms. Mowz: I have to say… no.
Joshua: … Let’s just go.
They go into the
Glitz Pit.
Chapter 14: Time
to RAWK!
Author’s note:
It had to be done, didn’t it? You expected this, didn’t you? Soz.)
Narrator: Last time, they got to Glitzville, via blimp.
Stewart’s Ashes: Via CHEEP Blimp!
Joshua: As usual, nobody cares.
Narrator: Now who’s sad?
Joshua: Both of you.
Jolene: So, you want to battle me for the Sky Badge?
Joshua: Yeah.
Jolene: First, you must battle my top student.
???: It’s time to RAWK!!!
Joshua: Oh, god… I accept his challenge.
Jolene: Did he challenge you?
Joshua: No, but that was where it was going.
Rawk Hawk: 2 on 2! In the arena, now!
They all head for the arena.
Both: Let’s go! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN! DANG! Plitémon Battle!
Joshua: You first.
Rawk Hawk: If you insist… Go, Paratroopa!
Joshua: Flying types. Go Skyboy! Use Bomb Toss!
Paratroopa dodges.
Rawk Hawk: Shell Shot! Then go into Steel Wing!
Skyboy is hit with a shell and then dodges the metal Paratroopa that rushes at him.
Joshua: METEOR HEADBUTT!
Rawk Hawk: You do the same!
It is a double knockout.
Joshua: Return! Go, Rocky!
Rawk Hawk: Time for you to FEEL THE RAWK! Go, Parabeetle (Bug/Flying)! Use Aerial Ace!!!
Joshua: Mega Kick!
Rocky counters with Mega Kick just before Parabeetle hits.
Rawk Hawk: No! Use Shell Shot!
Joshua: Horn Attack!
The attacks cancel each other out.
Joshua: Let’s win with a Take Down attack!
Rocky charges in…
Rawk Hawk: No one turns the RAWK back on the HAWK! Use Steel Wing!
The attacks both
hit but one of them goes down.
Who’s that Plitémon?
It’s… Parabeetle!
Parabeetle: Para!
The Plitémon that goes down is… *drum roll* Parabeetle! Joshua wins!
Joshua: BOOYAH!
Jolene: Excellent.
Now, you may challenge me.
Chapter 15: The Sky High Battle
Narrator: Last time, Joshua beat Rawk Hawk. I never get to express myself anymore.
Joshua: I’m getting a case of déjà vu.
Jolene: We shall battle 3 on 3.
Both: Let’s go! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN! Oh, for goodness’ sake! Battle time!
Jolene: Go, Lakitu (Normal/Flying)!
Joshua: Go, Rocky! Use Rock Tomb!
Jolene: Use Cloud Nine!
Lakitu makes itself impervious to the attack.
Joshua: (censored) Try a Mega Kick!
Jolene: Use Hurricane!
Joshua: Stand your ground!
Rocky just hangs on.
Joshua: Nothing’s working! Use Horn Attack!
Jolene: Spiny Toss!
Lakitu throws a Spiny at Rocky, who nimbly dodges.
Joshua: Agile for a Rock Plitémon, isn’t he? Use Take Down!
Jolene: I suppose… Use Spiny Surge!
Both hit and both go down.
Joshua: No!
Jolene: As I planned…
Joshua: Try this! Go, Weed!
Ms. Mowz: You’re kidding! Grass types are weak against Flying! Moron!
Joshua: Oops.
Jolene: Go, Pidgit (Flying)!
Joshua: Those are weak!
Jolene: You’ll see… Use Peck!
Joshua: Use Vine Whip to catch it and slam it on the ground!
KO.
Jolene: 0_0! I guess it really is weak… Go, Amazing Flying Hammer Brother (Fighting/Flying)!!!
Joshua: Holy Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi!!!! Use Razor Leaf!
Jolene: Hammer Barrage!
Joshua: Warp!
Weed warps under Amazing, where it bites it and is safe from the hammers it throws.
Joshua: Yeah! Let’s end this! Use Crunch!
Jolene: Climb and use Fire Drive!
Joshua: No!
The fireball hits and KOs Weed.
Joshua: Go, H Bro! You’re my last hope. Use Fire Drive!
Jolene: Use your Fire Drive to knock it back!
Joshua: Knock it back!
This process, a la Four Swords, continues until Amazing gives in.
Amazing: Amaz!
Joshua: Hammer Barrage! Don’t let it get one single attack in!
Amazing begins to drop.
Joshua: Finish it! Power Smash!
H Bro leaps up high and slams a powerful hammer down on Amazing’s head.
Amazing: AMA!
Joshua: I win!
Jolene: Here’s your Sky Badge…
Joshua: YAY! On
to the next Gym!
Chapter 16: Twilight Trouble
Narrator: Last time, Joshua beat Jolene, the gtym leader of Glitzville.
Joshua: Are you going to go on strike like the last one?
Narrator: Unless you let me express myself emotionally, yes.
Joshua: *grumble* Fine.
Narrator: YAY!
Our main characters are staying in Twilight Town for a night. They plan to go to Creepy Steeple tomorrow to challenge the fourth gym leader.
Joshua: It must be ghost types.
Clawdia: Probably. So how are you going to challenge them?
Joshua: What?
Koops: You haven’t heard? This gym requires you to have at least one ghost Plitémon before you can challenge the leader.
Joshua: No, didn’t know that. Where do I get one?
Ms. Mowz: I think Creepy Steeple has a couple of wild Boos running around it.
Joshua: That’ll do.
Suddenly, there’s an explosion outside! Our heroes rush outside. Unsurprisingly, Team Broomstick are standing on top of a pile of Plitéballs.
Joshua: Give back those Plitéballs to their owners! Otherwise it’s MINDLESS VIOLENCE TIME!
Clawdia: Step back, Joshua. I’ll handle this. Go, Fire Bro!
Kamek: Go, Paragloomba and Dark Boo (Ghost/Dark)!
Kammy: Go, Tribal Guy and Poison Pokey (Ground/Poison)!
Clawdia: Fire Bro, use Flamethrower!
All are KO’d. And Team Broomstick are sent skyward.
Kamek and Kammy: We’re blasting off!
Joshua: When did you get your Plitémon back, Clawdia?
Clawdia: I sent for them, via the inn’s PC.
Joshua: ^_^
Cool. Let’s get some shuteye. It’s a big day tomorrow.
Chapter 17: The Unbreakable Lock
Narrator: Goody gumdrops! Last time, Clawdia beat those Team Broomstick meanies!
Joshua: Oh, god… YOU’RE FIRED!
Narrator: WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Joshua: No more narrators. EVER!
Our team stand outside Creepy Steeple’s gate.
Koops: What happened to Twilight Trail?
Joshua: We went through it while I fired the narrator. Now how to get through this gate… The lock won’t budge. Of course! MINDLESS VIOLENCE TIME!!! H Bro, use Power Smash.
H Bro hits his hammer on the gate’s lock and winds up shaking.
Joshua: EVERYONE ATTACK IT AT ONCE!
No effect.
Joshua: What is GOING ON HERE?!
A voice shouts down from the bell tower.
???: You can’t break the lock! You can’t break the gate or the wall! You need a ghost Plitémon to get you through!
Joshua: Where do we get one?
A Boo floats up to Joshua.
Boo: BOO!
Joshua: *scream* Go Plitéball!
The Boo is caught.
Joshua: It must have very little power.
???: Actually it’s very strong! You just caught it off guard with the screaming.
Joshua: Go. Boo! Boo, can you help us get through the gate?
Boo nods.
Joshua: Use… er… What move does it use to get through stuff?
???: … Transparency!
Joshua: Whatever. Transparency!!!
Boo lets everyone pass through the gate by turning them invisible.
Ms. Mowz: Who are you, ????
???: I’m surprised you don’t remember me, Slick.
Koops: Doopliss!
Doopliss: That’s right, Slick. Get ready to throw down. All your ‘mon versus mine.
Joshua: That makes it 5 on 5.
Doopliss: Guess
so. Come in and get ready to have your soul taken by the shadows… oh, wait,
wrong cartoon. I mean, get ready for your first loss…
Chapter 18: Ghost of a Chance (It had to happen sometime)
Joshua: No more narrators, so I’ll say what happened. Last time, we arrived at Creepy Steeple. There was an unbreakable lock on the gate. A mysterious voice said we needed a Ghost Plitémon to get through. That voice turned out to be Doopliss. I caught a Boo and now I fight Doopliss 5 on 5 in his arena.
Koops: You’re pretty longwinded too.
Joshua: IT’S CONTAGIOUS!!!
He screams so loudly they hear it in parallel universes.
Link: Wow, that was one loud scream.
Ganondorf: No kidding. Can I get back to killing you now?
Link: No.
Doopliss: Like I said, 5 on 5.
Both: Let’s go!
You know what they both say.
Joshua: Curse you, Author!
Author: I control you, little man.
Joshua: You can do nothing to me!
Author: Wanna bet?
Suddenly, Joshua is chained to the wall of Creepy Steeple in the form of a Dull Bones.
Joshua: Ok, you CAN do things to me.
Back to whatever normal is.
Joshua: YAY! Go, Skyboy!
Doopliss: Go, Red Bones (Ground/Ghost)!
Joshua: Ha! I have an advantage! Everyone knows that ground Plitémon can’t beat flying ones!
Doopliss: Cocky, aren’t you? Use Build!
Red Bones builds a tower of Dull Bones so it can reach Skyboy.
Joshua: Bomb Toss at the bottom of the tower!
Red Bones falls and is KO’d.
Doopliss: Impressive, Slick! Let’s see if you can beat this. I choose Duplighost (Ghost)!
A creature that looks like Doopliss appears.
Joshua: Bomb Toss!
Doopliss: Transform into a Yoshi!
Joshua: What good will that do?
Duplighost then eats the bomb and spits it back.
Joshua: 0_0 Oh, crud. Protect!
The bomb deflects off the shield and lands outside the window. The wall has a giant hole in it all of a sudden due to the explosion.
Doopliss: MY GYM! Oh, wait. Thank you, insurance!
Joshua: Which insurance company are you with?
Doopliss: Duplighost Finances!
Joshua: Their compensation is abysmal at best.
Doopliss: Dang… Use Egg Toss!
Sky Guy’s balloons pop from the shards of the eggs and he falls, knocked out.
Joshua: Return! I choose H Bro! Use your Hammer Barrage!
Doopliss: Transform into a Boo and turn invisible!
Joshua: Grr… Use Fire Drive!
Duplighost turns visible by accident.
Duplighost: I’M ON FIRE! IMONFIREIMONFIREIMONFIREIMONFIRE!!!
Joshua: Cool him off with Ice Smash!
Duplighost: Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh… That’s good.
Joshua: Finish him with Power Smash!
Duplighost: I’m outta here!
He jumps out the hole in the wall.
Doopliss: OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK… Go, Clockwork Soldier (Ghost/Fighting)! Popgun Fire!
Joshua: H Bro, use Power Smash to knock the bullets away!
This continues for several hours until…
Doopliss: Uh oh. Out of ammo. Use Bayonet!
Clockwork Soldier puts a knife on his rifle and tries to stab H Bro.
Joshua: Return!
I choose you! Weed!
Chapter 19: Shadow of its Former Self…
Joshua: Last time, I began my Gym Battle against Doopliss. It’s 5 on 5, so it’ll take a while. I’ve defeated two of his Plitémon, Red Bones and Duplighost. Now, I’ve chosen Weed to face his Clockwork Soldier. This battle just heated up…
Joshua: I choose you! Weed!
Joshua’s old friend, Weed, leaps from his ball to save the battle!
Joshua: That narrator’s back, isn’t he?
Koops: It wouldn’t surprise me one bit.
Ms. Mowz: I’m inclined to agree.
Clawdia: How come none of us got a line in the last chapter?
Author: Nobody likes you guys.
Nobody: I-
Author: Not a word!
Joshua: Anyway… Use Bite! Combine it with Warp!
One of Joshua’s famous combinations starts to devastate Clockwork Soldier until…
Kamek: Team Broomstick blasts off at the speed of light!
Kammy: Surrender now! Or prepare to fight!
Joshua: Are you guys following me or something?
Kammy: Regardless… This time, we WILL take your Plitémon!
Joshua: What makes you so sure?
Kamek: We have this! A Shadow Plitémon!
Ms. Mowz: A Plitémon that’s had the door to its heart artificially closed?
Kammy: Correct! Go, Tribal Guy!
Doopliss: I’ll handle this. Go, Black Bones (Ground/Ghost).
Joshua: I’ll help. Weed, do your thing!
Kammy: Use Shadow Storm!
A powerful, black tornado hits both Plitémon with heavy damage.
Joshua: No! Use Bite and Warp!
Doopliss: Bone Toss!
Sadly it does little damage.
Kamek: Finish them. Use Shadow End!
He aims at Weed.
Kammy: Lock on…
Kamek: FIRE!
Joshua: NNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooo!!!
Who’s that Plitémon?
It’s… Black Bones!
Black Bones: Bones.
Shadow End blasts Weed at full power. Smoke fills the building. But when it clears, Weed has evolved from a Piranha Plant to a Putrid Piranha (Grass/Poison)!
Joshua: All right! Now I’ve got a P Weed!
Kammy: This changes nothing! Shadow Storm!
Joshua: Crunch and Warp!
P Weed dodges with Warp and pretty much eats Tribal Guy.
Doopliss: Okay, Black Bones, time for Bone Club.
With P Weed biting it and Black Bones smacking it with a bone repeatedly, Tribal Guy is soon weak.
Kamek: I don’t understand. Luigi said that a Shadow Plitémon is unbeatable!
Joshua: Clawdia. Did you bring that secret weapon?
Clawdia: The Snag Machine?
Joshua: Give it to me.
She does so and Joshua puts it on his right arm.
Joshua: Snag Ball, go!
Joshua catches Tribal Guy!
Joshua: Now, let’s get these guys out of here. P Weed, use SOLARBEAM!
After it hits…
Kamek and Kammy: Looks like we’re blasting off!
Ding!
Tribal Guy joined the party!
Joshua: *scream* Who said that?
Ms. Mowz: Oh, no! We just broke the fourth wall!
The fourth wall comes down on top of Joshua.
Joshua: Ow.
Ms. Mowz: Oh, no! We just broke the fifth wall!
The fifth wall comes down on top of Joshua.
Joshua: Ow.
Ms. Mowz: Oh, no! We-
Joshua: Not another word!
Koops: You stole their Plitémon?
Joshua: No. I snagged it. Doopliss, this is yours. You must purify this Plitémon’s heart, reopening it. You must battle with it and make it feel loved.
He thrusts the Snag Ball into Doopliss’ hand.
Doopliss: Very well. BUT we have one last thing to settle. Our battle. Let’s finish it with a Double Battle. Two of yours against two of mine at the same time.
Joshua: Awesome! I’ll use P Weed and… (I have faith in you. You’re my newest friend, but I know you can help me win.) Boo!
Doopliss: Very
well, I pick Atomic Boo (Ghost) and Boolossus (Ghost)!
Chapter 20: Boolossus Goes on the Haunt!
Joshua: Last time, Team Broomstick’s Shadow Plitémon, Tribal Guy, stomped Weed and Black Bones into the ground. Weed evolved into P Weed and defeated it. Doopliss has challenged me to a Double Battle for the Creepy Badge.
Joshua: Let’s get this party started, loser.
Doopliss: You talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?
Joshua: P Weed, use Smog! Boo, use Lick!
A gas poisons the other Plitémon. Boo misses because he can’t see through the gas.
Doopliss: Both of you, use Refresh and then Split!
They heal their poison status and split into the many Boos that make them up.
Doopliss: Ha ha ha! Take this, Slick… Mass Shadow Ball!
Each Boo fires a Shadow Ball at P Weed and Boo.
Joshua: Guys! Warp and Transparency!
Meanwhile in an unknown location…
Luigi: So, Joshua snagged the Shadow Plitémon?
Kamek: Y-Yes, sir.
Kammy: Please, sir, don’t hurt us!
Luigi: Hmm, why would I? That was a mere experiment. A test of the Shadow Plitémon’s power.
Kamek: Its power was spectacular, sir! We thought we had that kid…
Luigi: Well, we know that that plan would eventually be thwarted now, so go and tell the researchers to create a new plan.
Kammy: Yes, sir!
They run away.
Luigi: Little do they know… that was a test of Joshua’s power. My true plan will soon be unveiled…
Back at Creepy Steeple…
P Weed and Boo narrowly dodge the Mass Shadow Ball.
Joshua: Counterattack with Crunch and Warp and Smack!
Boo tries to slap Atomic Boo but it passes through him, it being a Normal attack. P Weed, however, is able to KO Atomic Boo with a Crunch, which turns out to be a Critical Hit (double damage).
Doopliss: Grr… This means nothing! Boolossus, use Thunderbolt!
Joshua: Transparency and Warp!
The Thunderbolt attack misses, goes through the hole in the wall, and hits Larry somewhere far away.
Larry: BLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGIDI!! END TRANSMISSION! Wait, it doesn’t work?
Joshua: Pure randomness.
Doopliss: I know… Use Thunderbolt again!
Clawdia: This is hopeless.
Ms. Mowz: What do you mean?
Koops: Boolossus keeps nullifying Joshua’s attacks and keeps making him dodge, meaning he can’t inflict damage.
Ms. Mowz: Josh! Hang in there! Attack!
Joshua: (I need to go on the offensive. I can’t just dodge all the time!) P Weed, time for Crunch and Warp! Boo, dodge and use Shadow Ball!
Doopliss: Transparency!
Joshua: Darn! Wait… I’ve got an idea! All right Boo, use Lick repeatedly! Keep it in one spot!
Boo uses lick to paralyze Boolossus.
Joshua: (Psst, P Weed! Use Solarbeam!)
P Weed charges Solarbeam WITHOUT DOOPLISS NOTICING!!!
Doopliss: Foolish boy, have you forgotten an attack I used only minutes before?
Flashback…
Joshua: P Weed, use Smog! Boo, use Lick!
A gas poisons the other Plitémon. Boo misses because he can’t see through the gas.
Doopliss: Both of you, use Refresh and then Split!
They heal their poison status and split into the many Boos that make them up.
End Flashback
Joshua: Yyyyeeeesssss
…
Doopliss: Come
on, Slick! Don’t tell me you forgot!
Joshua: Doesn’t matter. Here comes my real attack. P Weed, launch Solarbeam! Boo, Transparency!
Doopliss: No!
Boolossus heals
its paralysis but can’t dodge Solarbeam and gets KO’d at last!
Joshua: YES! Eat THAT, Freak-Sheet!
Doopliss: …
Joshua: Hand over my Creepy Badge and let’s get out of here!
Doopliss: (Censored) Fine.
Joshua: I FINALLY got my Creepy badge!
Back at Twilight Town…
Joshua is on the phone with Frankly.
Joshua: Yo, Prof!
Frankly: Oh, hello Joshua!
Joshua: I’ve already got four badges! Do you know where the fifth one is?
Frankly: Why, it’s right here in Rogueport!
Joshua: WHAT? Why didn’t you tell me?
Frankly: Their Plitémon would’ve destroyed you in five seconds. Max.
Joshua: So, I’m dead.
Frankly: You might be able to win now…
Joshua: TO ROGUEPORT!
Joshua dashes off into the horizon, not realizing he’s forgotten his Plitémon. Clawdia sighs and his friends follow him with them.
Well, it seems Joshua’s quest is just about half over. He’s still got a long way to go, though. Join us next time, to find out if he’ll actually win against the fifth and sixth gym leaders.