Chapter 21: Spunning Around
Joshua: Last time,
I whopped Doopliss’ butt and claimed my Creepy Badge. Now I’m headed to
Rogueport for my fifth badge, the Machine Badge. My current party is:
P Weed (Putrid Piranha)
H Bro (Hammer Bro)
Skyboy (Sky Guy)
Boo (Boo, duh!)
Koops: Four badges already. As long as you don’t get too cocky, you’ll be okay.
Joshua: (not listening) I’M THE BEST!!! WHOO!!! NOBODY CAN BEAT ME!!!
Koops: Why, God? Why? Why was I cursed with this oblivious idiot?!
Joshua: So I’m an idiot, huh? That must make you a drooling quarter-wit!
Clawdia: Isn’t it drooling half-wit?
Joshua: Even they’re smarter than Koops.
Clawdia: Okay, NOW that insult makes sense!
Ms. Mowz: The sooner we get out of these rank sewers, the better… Hey! A Spunia (Normal/Psychic)!
Indeed, a Spunia stands before our heroes.
Ms. Mowz: I call it!
Koops: Dang. Those things are pretty tough. Josh, let’s help her out. Go Pale Plant!
Joshua: Go Skyboy!
Ms. Mowz: Go Rainman! Use Charge!
Joshua: Climb as high as you can!
Koops: Use Sunny Day!
Spunia uses Spin Attack on Rainman and shocks itself.
Ms. Mowz: Thunderbolt!
Joshua: Meteor Headbutt!
Thunderbolt is taken in through Spunia’s spikes, Meteor Headbutt hits its body, and Solarbeam blasts it into the sewer water.
Joshua: Eww. That stuff STINKS!
Ms. Mowz: Go, Plitéball!
She catches it.
Ms. Mowz: I caught Spunia! I’m going to call you Spinny.
Joshua: Lame as
always. Look, there’s the warp pipe.
Chapter 22: Steely Gaze
Joshua: Last time, Ms. Mowz caught Spunia, with MY help. Koops didn’t do anything.
Koops: … I’m not going to bother anymore.
The gang are in Frankly’s house, discussing a strategy for Joshua’s upcoming gym match.
Frankly: Steel types are very powerful. I only see one Plitémon you have that can beat them, H Bro.
Joshua: Nothing else?
Joshua: Then, who am I supposed to use?
Clawdia: Well, don’t use P Weed, as Poison doesn’t affect Steel.
Ms. Mowz: Steel does well against Rock, so don’t use Rocky.
Koops: And neither Ghost nor Flying do well against Steel.
Joshua: So H Bro has to take out all three opponents by himself? I’m doomed…
Frankly: What moves does Rocky know?
Joshua: Rock Slide, Ram, Mega Kick, and Earthquake.
Frankly: Earthquake! All you have to do is use that! It’s a Ground type move!
Joshua: But that’s only two guys. Who else can I use?
Koops: Listen to your brain. What does it say?
Joshua: I’m not
telling, because it could jinx it. Let’s hit the gym.
Chapter 23: Steel Showdown
Joshua: Last time, I thought of a strategy to beat the gym Leader. On the last page, I said that a Lemmy’s Land tourist would be this Leader. However, their refusal to answer some necessary questions has relieved them of this position. I have also decided on the two tourists who can be in the Elite Four, so stop sending m Emails unless you’re complimenting me on my writing skills, in which case, feel free! In any case, congratulations to E-Man and Sam!
Our heroes walk in to Rogueport Casino on the west side of town.
Joshua: Wow, it’s really cool!
Koops: These lights could be used to blind someone!
Clawdia: Will the gym leader use that to their advantage?
Ms. Mowz: This’ll be Joshua’s toughest fight yet.
The leader walks in from a door to everyone’s right.
???: Hi, I’m Don Pianta. Are you here for a gym battle?
Joshua: Yup. 3-on-3 ok?
Don Pianta: I’m cool with it. To the arena!
Koops: What happened to your accent?
Don Pianta: Sold it on eBay.
Koops: I don’t know how that’s possible, and I don’t want to know.
Joshua and Don Pianta (DP): Let’s go! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!!!
Joshua: Darn you, Author! Darn you!
DP: Whatever. Go, Bristle (Steel)!
A purple, spiked creature comes out.
Joshua: Go, H Bro! Use Fire Drive!
DP: Defend with Spike Twister!
Bristle turns quickly on the spot. He turns so fast that he actually redirects the fireball back to H Bro.
Joshua: Power Smash! And go after that Bristle!
The Power Smash sends the fireball back again. H Bro runs towards Bristle. The fireball breaks the twister.
Joshua: Ha! Use your Power Smash at MAX POWER!!!
KA-THUD! (Personally, I miss the good ol’ days of “POW!”) Bristle is unable to continue.
DP: Return. Go, Koopatrol! Use your Spike Shell Shot!
The shell rushes towards him.
Joshua: Again with the spikes? (I must summon the power of randomness… HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM… Pie is good… so is cheese…) GOT IT! CHILDREN OF MANA ATTACK!!! WHIRLING HAMMER OF RANDOMNESS!!!
Ms. Mowz, Koops, Clawdia and DP: ???
H Bro whirls around with his hammer and smacks Koopatrol against a wall, causing it to ricochet. H Bro smacks him again and… well basically, he’s playing squash, and Koopatrol’s the ball. This goes on until it’s knocked out. However, H Bro is so dizzy, it’s KO’d too.
DP: I choose you, Iron Cleft (Steel/Rock)!
Joshua: Time for the secret weapon! Go…
Who’s that Plitémon?
Joshua: Go, Pyro Guy!!!
Joshua has borrowed Ms. Mowz’s Pyro Guy for this battle.
DP: Oh, like I didn’t expect a Fire type.
Joshua: Pyro Guy, start with Fireball!
Obviously, Pyro Guy shoots a fireball at Iron Cleft. I mean OBVIOUSLY!!!
DP: Dodge that! And Ram it!
Joshua: Stop it with Rapid Fire!
Multiple fireballs are shot at the charging Iron Cleft. Some hit, but they don’t do much damage. Iron Cleft still hits Pyro Guy and knocks it back about 10 feet.
Joshua: Crud. There’s no way I can out-muscle this thing with Pyro Guy. I’ll just have to outsmart it! Use Double Team! And use Rapid Fire!
Pyro Guy creates holographic clones of itself to try to confuse Iron Cleft. They circle it, and then the real one fires Rapid Fire. Since Iron Cleft doesn’t know which way it’s coming from, it hits and does lots of damage.
DP: Tryin’ to trick me, eh? Iron Cleft, find the real one with Earthquake!
Iron Cleft jumps and creates an earthquake that shakes the whole building. This makes the real Pyro Guy fly into the air.
DP: Now, end this with Spike Slam!
Joshua: What IS it with you and spikes?!
DP: Silence, non-believer!
Joshua: That’s just random.
Ms. Mowz: Please tell me we didn’t just do a reference to P.T. Piranha’s FF…
Author: I like P.T. Piranha’s FF! It’s fun-nay!
Koops: What about the match?
Everyone: Oh, yeah!
Anyway, Iron Cleft jumped, and came down headfirst at Pyro Guy. With no way to protect itself while falling, it was knocked out.
Joshua: Dang… Go, Rocky!
Joshua summons Rocky. Duh.
DP: The un-evolved form of Iron Cleft? This should be a cinch…
Joshua: Win this quick, with Earthquake!
DP: Use your Earthquake too!
The result of the two quakes is that the left wall of the gym/Pianta Parlor is destroyed.
Joshua: This is going to become a running gag, isn’t it?
Author: Probably. If I feel like it.
DP: What d’you mean?
Koops: We destroyed the wall of Doopliss’ gym too.
Joshua: Dudes, match.
DP: Flip Rocky in the air with Mega Kick! Then finish it with Spike Slam!
Joshua: Stand your ground!
Try as he might, Rocky can’t stay on the ground, and gets flipped into the air. Iron Cleft is coming down with Spike Slam…
DP: Now, spin!
It starts spinning (duh) to increase the speed and power of the slam.
Joshua: Now, Rocky!
Rocky evolves to… Moon Cleft (Rock/Ground)! COOL!
Joshua: He tried to evolve earlier, but I didn’t feel like letting him.
Everyone Else: …
Joshua: Now, defend yourself somehow!
Rocky spins too, and comes down faster, so it can bounce off the floor to dodge.
Joshua: Genius! Now end this with one last Earthquake!!!
Rocky jumps IMPOSSIBLY high and causes a freakin’ massive earthquake that destroys the right-hand wall of the gym.
DP: Man, I wish I was insured.
Oh yeah, Iron Cleft is KO’d, by the way.
Joshua: I WIN! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
DP: Yup. Here’s your Machine Badge. The next gym is on Keelhaul Key.
Ms. Mowz: Crud Jr.
Everyone Else: …
Ms. Mowz: I haven’t said anything in a while.
Joshua: Come, mindless slaves!
Koops: Yes Master.
Chapter 24: Stupidity on the Sea
Joshua: Last time, I beat Don Pianta and got my Machine Badge.
Koops: Wow. Short recap.
Joshua: Budget cuts.
The 4 are on the boat to Keelhaul Key.
Joshua: Bad time to remember I can’t swim.
Joshua: Why are you so ugly?
Koops: … That was uncalled for.
Bobbery: Silence, foo’!
Joshua: Dude, wha’?
Clawdia: Just steer the ship.
Bobbery: I don’t even have arms!
Bobbery: Go, Ember (Ghost/Fire)!
Ember tries to torch Clawdia, but misses and gets Joshua.
He jumps in the ocean, then Rocky comes out and smashes the wall of the ship before returning to its ball.
Ms. Mowz: Should we be rescuing him?
Koops: Nah. He says I’m stupid and ugly. Let him drown!
Joshua learns to swim, jumps out of the water, and throws Koops overboard.
Koops: MAN OVERBOARD!!!
Chef Torte: My joke!
Joshua: The kick is up…
Joshua boots Chef Torte back to wherever, then gets in the lifeboat, ‘cause the ship’s sinking.
Joshua: It’s good!!!
Bobbery: Just for that, I’m joining the group!
Bobbery: Does he always scream like that?
Clawdia: Yeah. He wakes up like that too, but I have no idea why…
News Guy: This just in! Sony has bought Nintendo, and now, no more Nintendo games will EVER be released! Also, all Wiis will explode… now.
Joshua’s Wii explodes.
Bobbery: He’s just twisted.
Ms. Mowz: Yep.
Koops: I’M DROWNING!
Joshua: No you’re not.
Koops: I hate you…
Koops dies, and
Bobbery steals his Plitémon before selling them on eBay.
Chapter 25: YAY! IT’S CHAPTER 25!
Joshua: Bobbery joined, and Koops died! Yay!
Bobbery: Wait, what happened to my accent?
Joshua: Budget cuts.
The lifeboat has docked at Keelhaul Key.
Clawdia: Well, Koops is dead, so now we’ve nobody to beat up during deleted scenes.
???: Aha! The great Flavio challenges you and Bobbery to a Double Battle!
????: Oy, Flavio, jis’ shut up and get over here! Fancy-Pants!
Flavio: You shut up, Pa-Patch!
Don Patch: Yes?
Pa-Patch: ‘E was talkin’ to me!
Don Patch explodes. Joshua, Bobbery, Flavio, and Pa-Patch go to a water arena in the Pirate’s Grotto. Ms. Mowz and Clawdia go to the shanty town, and do whatever it is girls do.
Ms. Mowz: Men.
Joshua: Go, Boo!
Bobbery: Go, Bob-omb (Steel/Fire)!
Flavio: Go, Blooper (Water)!
Pa-Patch: Go, Bob-omb!
Kamek: We’re back to ruin another chapter!
Both: Look’s like Team Broomstick’s blasting off again!
Koops: Never fear, Koops is here! … Aw man, I’m late again! Wait… Where are my Plitéballs?
Koops teleports, steals his Plitéballs back, and returns.
Flavio: Where were we? Oh yeah. Blooper, use Ink Blast!
Pa-Patch: Bob-omb, use Body Slam!
The attacks pass through Boo, and Bob-omb flies into the air with Bomb to dodge.
Flavio: The great Flavio is pleased with your skill! Blooper, use Tentawhirl!
Blooper spins like a top and repeatedly slaps Bob-omb.
Bobbery: Power Bomb!
Joshua: Nightmare Lick!
Blooper’s attack is deflected and it takes damage from the explosion, and Pa-Patch’s Bob-omb is paralyzed.
Bobbery: MEGA BOMB!!!
Bob-omb rushes forward and takes itself out with an explosion, but Blooper goes down and Bob-omb is severely weakened.
Joshua: Just the two of us now.
Pa-Patch: Ain’t it romantic?
Both: YOU’RE GOING DOWN!!!
Pa-Patch: Bob-ombast!!!! (Bobbery’s Ultra Rank move)
Bob-omb is down, and Boo is unharmed.
Flavio: That’s one powerful Boo you’ve got there.
Suddenly, Boo flashes and evolves to Dark Boo!
Joshua: Uh, better make that Dark Boo.
Bobbery: You do know about its branched evolution, right?
Joshua: … No.
Bobbery: If Dark Boo evolves during daytime, it turns into Boolossus. If it evolves during night time, it turns into Atomic Boo.
Joshua: That’s lame, stupid, and dumb on all levels.
Clawdia and Ms. Mowz return.
Ms. Mowz: Great, Koops is alive.
Koops: Didn’t anyone miss me?
Joshua jumps on Koops.
Koops: Ow. What was that for?
Everyone: For existing.
Shady Parakoopa: My joke! I’M SUING!!!
Chapter 26: The Pirate King and the Blooper Kings
Joshua: Last time, Koops was revived and Bobbery and I won a Double Battle with Flavio and Pa-Patch. Also, Boo evolved to Dark Boo!
Bobbery: You sounded strangely happy about that.
Joshua: We’re more than halfway through this. Don’t spoil it now.
Joshua’s group has arrived at Cortez’s ship/gym.
Joshua: This would be the place.
???: Get ready to Double Battle!
Joshua: I will bet any amount of coins that’s Cortez.
Cortez: Yup. Did I mention that I sold my accent on eBay?
Cortez takes everyone out to a more open area of the grotto, where there’s lots of water.
Cortez: We’ll battle 2-on-2. I choose Electro Blooper (Electric/Water) and Super Blooper (Water)
Cortex releases his two Bloopers into two pools.
Joshua: I choose Dark Boo and Skyboy!
Both: XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!!!
Joshua: DIE, AUTHOR!!!
Author: Need I remind you of my powers?
Joshua is struck with lightning.
Joshua: Ow. I must really hate me.
Joshua: Dark Boo, use Shadow Ball on Super Blooper! Skyboy, use Bob-omb Toss on Electro Blooper!
Cortez: Block with your tentacles!
The attacks are slapped back at the Plitémon.
Cortez: Thunderbolt and Minion Cannon!
Electro Blooper electrifies Skyboy and Dark Boo is knocked back several feet by the Blooper Babies' Super Blooper fires.
Joshua: We’re hosed. Dark Boo, use Shadow Punch on Super Blooper! Skyboy, climb!
Shadow Punch cannot be dodged, so Super Blooper is hit. Skyboy flies high.
Joshua: Meteor Headbutt on Electro Blooper!
Skyboy blasts down at Electro Blooper. Thunderbolt tries to defend against it, but the two attacks are evenly matched. They keep pushing.
Both: Maximum power!
Skyboy is hit, but somehow absorbs the lightning and uses it as armor. He uses it to boost the strength of Meteor Headbutt and KO Electro Blooper. The armour dissipates, and Skyboy falls.
Both: YOU’RE GOIN’ DOWN!!!
Cortez: Use Whirlpool, and dive into it!
Super Blooper creates a whirlpool and dives into it. It then instinctively shoots a tentacle out, and pulls Dark Boo in.
Joshua: … Well this is bad.
Clawdia: Do something, Joshua!
Joshua: I can’t think of anything!
Bobbery: Get out of the whirlpool!
Bobbery: … Oh. I don’t know.
Joshua: … Idiot. The current’s too strong to fight. Oh… DUH! USE TRANSPARENCY AND GET AWAY!!!
Dark Boo turns intangible and floats away from the whirlpool.
Joshua: YES! MAXIMUM POWER SHADOW BALL!!!
Dark Boo fires a HUGE Shadow Ball into the whirlpool. This causes it to explode and fling Super Blooper into the air.
Joshua: NIGHTMARE LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!
Super Blooper is downed, and Joshua wins!
Cortez: Here. Take this Ocean Badge and head north, for Poshley Heights.
And so, Joshua claims his 6th badge and now heads for Poshley Heights. What awaits him there? Only time will tell…