Mario and Luigi: Stinkin'star Saga

By Koopa Kid

Part One: Mushroom Kingdom and Stardust Fields

In Peach's Castle, Toads are playing trumpets to celebrate the arrival of the Beanbean ambassador.

Toad #1: How much longer do we have to play these trumpets? We've been playing these for ten hours straight!

Toad #2: Beats me.

Toadsworth: She's coming! She's coming!

Lady Lima walks in with Pea.

Lady Lima: To improve the tie with our kingdoms, we present you with a...

Peach: A present! Get your dirty paws off my present, vermin! It's mine! All mine!

Peach greedily swipes the present from Pea and opens it.

Peach: There's nothing in here! I was lied to!

Pea: That's not supposed to happen!

A jack-in-the-box comes out and sprays Peach with gas.

Lady Lima: Eyahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha!

Lady Lima transforms into the evil witch Cackletta while Pea transforms into Fawful, Cackletta's evil pupil!

Fawful: We shall leave with speediness!

They uh... leave with speediness.

Toad: Oh no! I've gotta warn Mario and Luigi!

Toad heads towards Mario's Pad.

At Mario's Pad...

Luigi is seen drying clothes outside.

Luigi: Why am I drying clothes out here if I have a dryer?

Toad: Luigi!

Luigi: What's going on?

Toad: Princess Peach is in trouble!

Luigi: That's horrible!

Toad: We need Mario!

Toad dashes into the house and screams "MARIO!" over and over again until he crashes into the shower.

Mario: TOAD! What are you doing here?!

Toad: Oh shoot!

Toad dashes out of the shower and into a nearby wall.

Mario: I went into the shower to be clean and to be left alone! Now let me teach you a lesson!

Mario jumps on Toad's head three times.

Toad: Princess Peach...

Mario: Peach!

Mario sprints out of the house jumps into the clothesline, and drags Luigi to the castle via the rope.

Bowser: Mwahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha! I've finally got Peach!

Mario comes in and tosses Luigi at Bowser.

Bowser: Bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Greenie! You attacked me!

Luigi: I didn't attack you!

Bowser starts chasing Luigi around the castle while Mario takes the Toad who’s blabbering about action commands and tosses him at Bowser.

Bowser: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I've been defeated!

Mario and Luigi walk over to Peach.

Peach: #$%&&%$#$$&$&$&%$%&$O%#&$%$&!

All of the symbols fall on top of Luigi and explode.

Luigi: Mamamia! That hurt!

Toad: Mario! Mario! Mario! An evil witch stole Peach's voice and replaced it with explosives!

Mario: Is that possible?

Toad: Yes!

Mario: That was a rhetorical question.

Toad: Oh.

Bowser: Mario and Green Guy! We have to get Peach's voice back so I can kidnap her!

Luigi: Why did you just say that in front of every single Toad guard in here?

Bowser: Well... I... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Peach: @#$%&%$#@%$#@&@!$#&%@!@#@$$%##%%&&*&^%&&$$!@$$#%#$#&%$#@@#$%&!

Mario: Duck and cover!

The castle blows up, sending everyone flying to Toad Town Square.

At Toad Town Square...

Bowser: Meet me at the Koopa Kruiser, my newest invention!

Mario: Didn't you invent that before?

Bowser: Well...

Luigi: Yeah! You had the Koopa Kruiser ever since we were babies!

Bowser: Just meet me there!

Mario starts to walk around Toad Town Square until a Toad stops him.

Toad #1: I can't reach this Mushroom!

Mario grabs the Mushroom from the 2-inch-tall hedge and gives it to the Toad.

Toad #1: Thank you, Mario!

Mario continues to walk around until another Toad stops him.

Toad#2: Help me find my precious item!

Mario looks around.

Mario: I found the precious item! It's... it's... it's.... pasta!

Mario gobbles down the pasta.

Toad #2: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I was about to eat that for lunch!

The Toad chases Mario until he runs into one of Bowser's baddies.

Baddie: I can't find the Koopa Kruiser!

Luigi: I'll tell you where he went!

Baddie: Where's Bowser then?

Luigi: He went thatta way!

Baddie: Which way?

Luigi: Keep on going straight through the path.

Baddie: Okay!

The baddie keeps on going down the path until he runs straight into the Koopa Kruiser.

Bowser: Who did that?!

Baddie: I did!

Bowser scorches him with his flamebreath.

Bowser: Mario! Get on here!

Mario jumps on the Koopa Kruiser.

Toadsworth: WAIT!

Toadsworth dashes towards the Koopa Kruiser, completely unaware that he has run over Luigi.

Toadsworth: I'm going to give you... a suitcase!

Mario: Hooray. That's just what I need. A dumb suitcase.

Toadsworth: Here you go!

Toadsworth gives Mario the suitcase.

Mario: Is there anything in here?

Toadsworth: Nope!

Mario: Just as I thought.

Toadsworth jumps off of the Koopa Kruiser and lands on Luigi.

Toadsworth: Good luck on your journey, Mario!

Luigi: Get off of me!

Luigi whacks Toadsworth with Toadsworh's own cane and crawls out from under him.

Luigi: Bye!

Bowser: The Koopa Kruiser is about to takeoff.

Mario: Wait! We need Luigi!

Bowser: You want that green little wimp to come with us?

Mario: Yes!

Bowser: LUIGI! You're coming with us!

Luigi shrugs and jumps on the Koopa Kruiser.

Bowser: Now we're off to the Beanbean Kingdom!

The Koopa Kruiser takesoff.

Baddies: Wait up!

The baddies attempt to chase the Koopa Kruiser but it is too late so they get left behind.

At the Beanbean Kingdom Outskirts...

Speaker: Mario and Mr. Greenie! Please report to the deck at once!

Luigi: I wish that they would stop calling me Mr. Greenie.

Mario: I bet they'll stop eventually.

They start to explore until a baddie stops them.

Baddie: Let me see your passports!

Mario and Luigi take their passports out of their suitcase and hands them to the baddie.

Baddie: This isn't good! There's no pictures!

Mario and Luigi: Oh no!

Baddie: Don't worry! I'll take some pictures of you and put them on your passport.

Mario: Oh boy!

Baddie: Now step onto the mat.

Mario steps onto the mat.

Baddie: Say cheese!

Mario: Cheese?! Where?!

Mario starts to look around and then glares at the baddie.

Mario: YOU! You have the cheese!

Mario leaps into the air to tackle the baddie so he snaps the picture right before he gets tackled.

Baddie: It's your turn!

Luigi steps onto the mat.

Baddie: Say cheese!

Luigi: Cheese!

Mario: YOU! You have the cheese!

Mario tackles Luigi and the baddie takes the picture.

Baddie: Have a nice day!

Luigi: Too late.

They go over to a room where there's a barrel blocking their path.

Mario: Hey! This barrel is blocking our path!

What did I tell you about repeating my lines?!

Mario: Sorry.

Mario kicks the barrel, which makes it roll into the wall.

Baddie: Hey! Don't yo mess wid da king's stuff, dogg!

Luigi: What?

Baddie: Hey! Don't yo mess wid da king's stuff, dogg!

Mario: I'm sorry, we don't speak rap.

Baddie: I'll translate dis in English for you peoples. Hey! Don't you mess with
the king's cargo, dudes!

Luigi: It was in our way!

Baddie: You could've jumped over it!

Mario: Can we go now?

Baddie: Negatory!

They try to go around him but he sidesteps to get in their way.

Mario: That's it!

Mario stuffs the baddie in the barrel and continues to go through the Koopa Kruiser.

Baddie: Come back here!

Goomba #1: You'll never catch me!

Baddie: Get over here, wimps!

Goomba #2: That's it! You're gonna be pwned.

The Goombas attack the baddie and Mario and Luigi take the Goombas off him.

Baddie: You caught them!

Mario: We sure did!

Luigi: What are you going to do with them?

The baddie pokes both of the Goombas.

Baddie: Tag! You're it!

The Goombas start to chase the baddie.

Mario: That was a complete waste of our time.

They continue to explore until they reach a room with cargo blocking the deck.

Baddie: Oh no! Cargo is blocking the deck! How are we supposed to get there now?

Luigi spots a switch.

Luigi: What does that switch do?

Baddie: It activates the crane, which I call Mr. Pinch.

Luigi: That's a dumb name.

Mr. Pinch comes along and lifts Luigi by his pants.

Luigi: Mario! Help!

Mario: Luigi! I'll save you!

Mario follows Mr. Pinch to the deck.

Bowser: Mario! You finally got here! But where's you're brother?

Mario points to where Mr. Pinch has lifted Luigi in the air.

Bowser: That's gotta ruin his day.

Cackletta: Well, well, well! Look who's here!

Bowser: Who in the world are you?

Cackletta: I'm Cackletta, the evil witch who stole Peach's voice!

Mario: So you're Cackletta! You're uglier than I thought!

Cackletta: I'm ignoring that. Fawful! Destroy these simpletons!

Cackletta flies away.

Fawful: Hee hee hee! You fink-rats shall face the wrath of my mustard of doom!

Luigi: Why do you talk funny?

Fawful: Fools! You fink-rats dare insult the pupil of her highness?

Luigi: Pardon?

Fawful: That's it! I'm going to shoot this whole dang ship down!

Fawful shoots the whole dang ship down.

Fawful: I have fury!

At Stardust Fields...

Mario: Where are we?

Luigi: Didn't you look above you? According to the label, it says that we're in Stardust Fields.

Mario: Is it a part of the Beanbean Kingdom?

Luigi: How am I supposed to know?

Mario and Luigi shrug and go inside a nearby building.

Hammer Brother #1: Hello there! In order to cross the Mushroom Border and go into the Beanbean Kingdom, you have to a game similar to jump rope.

Mario and Luigi jump over the border and exit the building.

Hammer Brother #2: Cheaters!

Mario and Luigi continue to trek along the land until they reach some spikes.

Mario: How do we jump over those spikes?

Luigi: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh... We jump over those spikes?

Mario: Great idea, Luigi!

They jump over all of the spikes and continue to go on until they reach a cannon with Bowser in it.

Bowser: Help! Get me out of here!

Luigi: Don't worry! We'll get you out of here somehow.

Tolstar: I'll get him out.

Mario: Really?

Tolstar: Sure. If you give me 100 coins.

Mario shoves Tolstar off of the ledge.

Mario: Con artist!

Bowser: Now get me out of here!

Luigi: We'll figure out a way.

Mario gets out a match and lights the fuse.

Bowser: Mario! What are you doing?!

Bowser gets shot out of the cannon and towards... somewhere else.

Mario: So long, King Bowser!

Luigi: Well, let's continue our journey through the Beanbean Kingdom!

They go through the cave and into Hoohoo Village.

Read on!

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.