Chapter 5: War!
It was noon, the sun was heavy in the sky, and the Marines waited for Bowser’s Invasion forces. It was hot and humid, and even the highly trained Marines were getting droopy. Suddenly their commander appeared.
“We have underwater targets moving in fast, gentlemen!” he yelled. The Marines snapped to. “Today we fight on our U.S. soil for the first time since World War II in actual war. Some of you may die, I may die, we all may die, but I trust that you all will fight with courage, discipline, and til the death to defend our country!”
A Marine started the chant of “U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” Their commander smiled as soon every Marine was chanting their hearts out. It was his last smile, as a Koopa suddenly burst through his head.
WAR!!!
The air was filled with Koopas flying about and into their enemies. The Marines fired round after round, dodging, jumping, charging.
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The people of Panama stood waiting, waiting, waiting. They sighed. They could be back home, at work, anywhere but here, waiting to fight an enemy that wasn’t there.
And suddenly it was, as submarine after submarine rose from the depths. They gawked. Submarines going until the horizon! A hatch opened in the top of the forward-most submarine, and a dark figure stepped out. It held out its hands, and suddenly fire started to rain down upon them, and then Koopas started flying out towards the Panama shore.
WAR!!!
The people of Panama rushed forth in an unorderly mass, weapons roaring, men shrieking, people dieing. And the last thing they heard was the diabolical laughing of that dark, Yoshi-shaped figure.
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Koopas soon appeared, rushing over the snowy fields towards Moscow. In a floating, clown-faced object stood Bowser, fingering his pendant. Where were the Russians? he asked himself. Doshi had said they would defend their city, but he saw no one there. Bowser laughed to himself. Wouldn’t Doshi be mad when Bowser took over Moscow without a single loss!
The Koopas slowly walked forward, warily not believing their luck. With good reason, for suddenly:
WAR!!!
Russians burst from the snow banks, their rifles and automatics firing, Koopas dieing. Bowser cursed as he descended into the bloody battle.
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WAR!!!
It was a sudden thought that went through everyone’s head, a shockwave, a charge of sudden electric energy, like a thousand trumpets, a hundreds voices, all going off in everyone's head saying one thing: WAR!!!
From deep beneath France came this pronouncement, a second testing of the deadly Frequency Machine…
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WAR!!! roared in the mind of hundreds in Morocco, as the invasion forces quickly took the battle to and from city to city, their military and air forces crushed by the oncoming wrath of Lemmy and Iggy, both of which showed no mercy, save to a certain person who was registered in Lemmy Land.
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WAR!!!
Turkey was under attack! Morton and Roy’s forces quickly took up to a mile of Turkish territory before meeting any true opposition. Pushing forward slowly but surely, the Koopa Katrol Forces won ground.
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WAR!!!
It was like a cannon went off by their heads, the sudden large roar in their heads. Mario and Luigi fell to the floor stunned, the French opposition started, howling with their pain. One man actually flew into the air as the wave hit him, then he fell on his head.
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“Pull Platoon 3 out and send them to cover Platoon 5,” ordered Admiral Ironshell. Doshi had just promoted him, and had given him the Manhattan invasion to deal with. Well, Ironshell enjoyed the challenge, and challenge it was. Platoon 1 and 4 had been completely wiped out, and 5 was getting hit hard.
“Send in Platoons 6 7 and 8,” he ordered, "and attack the left bank.”
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Doshi looked with happiness at the mayhem he had caused. He guided one of the many meteors he had conjured to fall on a group of men huddling among the rocks. He breathed in the scent of their destruction. He moved the wind just so slightly, making a bullet miss its target, a loyal Koopa. Doshi slapped his hands together, and sent a blast of hot air at the man who had fired. He promptly burst into flames. Doshi laughed. He twitched his fingers, and two men choked just as they were about to flee.
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Bowser had his transportation shot out from underneath him. He fingered his pendant as he fell, and suddenly was caped. Bowser shot up into the air, and sent a few fire blasts down before a rocket smashed into him and he fell to the ground.
He grabbed his pendant once again, and was suddenly invincible. He jumped up and shot towards Moscow, the Russians flattened by Super Bowser. Bullets sprung off his magical shell, bathed in many colors, and then Bowser turned Raccoon, flying into the air and slapping away the helicopters that had just risen to join the battle for Moscow.
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The smoke cleared, and Lemmy got up coughing.
“What-” asked Lemmy,
“Was that?” finished Iggy.
“A missile hit us, sirs,” replied a commander. “We didn’t know Morocco had such far-ranging missiles. Sorry.”
“Oh, that’s-” said Iggy,
“All right,” finished Lemmy.
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“This is boring!” groaned Roy.
“Then go out there yourself, personally, physically, and kill, murder-” rambled Morton.
“Shut up!” replied Roy. “But,” he added after some thought, “I think I will go out there. Show the boys how to do it, eh?” He got up and went to his room, to get ready.
Morton sighed. “How sad, pathetic, dismal, weak, and entirely smart of me.”
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Mario crawled painfully towards the man that had been launched into the air. It was obvious that the man was dead. The leader said something in French. Then he quickly translated it. “What-e wes that-e?!” he asked, shaken.
“Dunno,” replied Luigi, and got up painfully. His head was throbbing.
“PAPE!” screamed the little girl from above. The leader jumped up and rushed to his darling little screaming one. He came back a little later with a crying but seemingly undamaged girl in his arms. He was talking to her softly in French.
“Let's-a go,” said Mario shortly, jumping to his feet and grabbing a shotgun.
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Doshi sent a fireball sailing towards a Panamaian fool, who happened to try to attack him. He sighed with boredom as he sent a meteor sailing straight into a group of shellshocked Koopas. They where worthless. This was getting old.
His eyes flew open, turning light red with excitement as he did so. Helicopters! Marines! He laughed, giddy. It was about to be so much more fun.
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The Russians were hardy folk, Bowser gave them that, but they were still no match for the Koopa Katrol. He dodged a heat-seeking missile and sent a fireball towards the jet that had sent it. Below his army was suffering major losses, stunned by both the great opposition and the amazing cold. But the Russians were getting the worst part of the deal, and even as he watched they lost ground. Suddenly Bowser was knocked out of the air as another missile hit him. He glared at the Russian plane and sent a fireball towards it as he turned Super again. He rushed back into the air. He would destroy every Russian.
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Lemmy and Iggy pushed the button labeled "Decimate". Blades suddenly fell from the sky, spearing enemy forces.
“COOL!” said the twin-like siblings at the same time. They pushed a button labeled "Ruin". The enemy tanks and builds suddenly disappeared in a cloud of rust and dust. Iggy and Lemmy sneezed.
“Dusty,” one of their aids noted.
“Shut-” said Lemmy,
“Up,” finished Iggy, as the two pressed a button labeled "Devastate". A suddenly flash of light lit the sky, and suddenly the enemy started to scream and flee.
“What?” the siblings asked, turning around, only to see a giant image of a goat-legged man with a pitchfork. “Okay…”
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Roy hit a human with his right hook and the man crumpled like paper.
“These meatbags are so soft!” laughed Roy, throwing another into the distance. Then Roy suddenly gasped and doubled over, a fist in his belly.
“Come on, Roy,” whispered Morton’s voice from Roy’s headpiece. Roy snapped into focus. He jumped up and threw his left fist and then his right fist out in quick succession. The man dodged and then threw a few punches of his own. Roy blocked them all and kicked dirt into the man’s face and then swung at him. The man dropped down and slammed his shoulder into Roy’s already hurt belly. Roy flipped over and fell into the dirt. The man jumped as hard as he could into Roy’s face. Roy almost fainted, but managed to get up. He swung drunkenly at the man, but the man dodged easily and produced a knife.
“Now die!” he screamed as he jumped towards Prince Roy, ready to stab him until his brains came out. But he never got there. Morton came out off nowhere and slammed into the man.
“Leave him ALONE!” roared Morton, throwing the man into the dirt and then jumping on him.
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The Quimper Division reached and breached the Bowserous Capital building without any opposition whatsoever.
“Where is everybody?” asked Luigi.
“They-a left-a, Luigi, duh!” responded Mario.
“Vhat now-e?” asked the leader.
“We wait,” said Luigi firmly. “A little surprise for the returning troops.”
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Doshi read a book and listened to Bach as Panama was secured. He didn’t even look up when Prelion told him that the Invasion of Costa Rica had begun.
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Bowser kicked a Russian body from the streets of Moscow. EMPTY! The entire town was EMPTY! Bowser didn’t know how they'd done it.
“BLAST IT ALL!” roared Bowser, pummeling a house in his rage.
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“This is-” said Iggy,
“Too easy,” finished Lemmy. They pressed another button, labeled "WWII".
“Well?” asked the Koopalings together.
There was a flash, a noise, a Mushroom cloud…
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Morton, bleeding, fell back. The man picked up his knife from where it was, and lunged again.
“DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-” screamed Morton unendingly as the man twisted the knife painfully as it thundered above and started to rain. “-aaaaaaaad….” finished Morton as he closed his eyes, his life blood pouring out. The man laughed shortly and pulled his knife out, and was suddenly dead as Roy punched his nose in. Roy picked up Morton and rushed back to the base.
“When ya reach the nex’ war poin’,” said Roy into his mouthpiece, “stop en hold the fort, ya hear?”
“Yes, sir!” replied
the generals under his command.
“Sir,” said Prelion as Doshi put down his book, “we’ve met U.S. Marines in Costa Rica.”
“So?” asked Doshi with... well, he doesn’t have eyebrows... um… uh…
“They’re beating us!” said Prelion hurriedly. “It seems to be almost the entire Marine force that could be spared from the invasion of the U.S., and-”
“SHUT UP!” roared Doshi. Prelion closed his mouth. “I’ve come too far to be just brushed aside!” yelled Doshi, getting up and turning of the Bach music. “My plan is so close to completion!” He stomped outside, his boots leaving indentations on the floor of the submarine. Doshi disappeared with a howl and a flash of red vivid light.