Toad's Kongtastic Journey

By E-Man

Meanwhile at the Swimming Krock, E-Man is sitting in his cell.

E-Man: This is so lame. I'd better get out of here if I want to do anything.

Just then, a Klaptrap comes up to him.

E-Man: Who are you?

Klaptrap: I'm the Klaptrap that was near the beginning of Mario & Luigi: The Trip Across Nintendo Land.

E-Man: You are? Cool! I'm the author of that Fun Fiction, you know.

Klaptrap: Thanks! Because of you, you gave me my big break! In fact, I can help you break out of this cell.

E-Man: Really?

Klaptrap: That's right! I'll show you how!

Because he can fit through the bars, Klaptrap leaves the cell and comes up to Krusha.

Krusha: Huh? What are you doing here?

The Klaptrap bites off Krusha's head.

E-Man: Was that all that necessary?

Klaptrap: In some ways, yes.

Klaptrap takes the keys that Krusha has and gives them to E-Man. E-Man uses them to open the cell to get himself out.

E-Man: Thank you so very much. Why are you helping me when you are part of the Kremlings?

Klaptrap: Those nasty Kremlings are so rotten! They use me as tests for their experiments!

E-Man: Is that why you can talk?

Klaptrap: No, I just learned it from watching lots of TV. You'll be surprised about how much the tube can teach you these days.

E-Man: Oooookay.

Klaptrap: If you want to get out of here, follow me.

Klaptrap takes E-Man into the ventilation system. Meanwhile, K. Rool is playing around with the Star Rod.

K. Rool: Who knew this little stick can do so much?

Just then, a Kritter comes up to him.

Kritter: Boss! We found out that our forces are being outmatched by one of those Kongs and a guy with a Mushroom for a head!

K. Rool: Grrrrr. I had so much trouble with those Kongs! Do whatever it takes to defeat them!

Kritter: Yes, Boss!

The Kritter leaves the room.

K. Rool: I can't afford to lose this time! .... Bowser, did you get what I needed you to get?

Bowser: Uhhh. Yeah. I got that Chain Chomp you wanted!

Bowser is holding a very large Chain Chomp.

K. Rool: Excellent! Bring that monster to Kracko!

Bowser: Ok!

Bowser leaves the room. Meanwhile, Kracko is making the last adjustments to the B.C.P.

Kracko: Almost done. There! It's finished! All we need now is the Master Coconut!

Just then, two Kritters comes up to Kracko with a pile of scrap metal.

Kritter: Second in command! We got some bad news!

Kracko: *sigh* What is it this time?

Kritter: You know KAOS 2.0?

Kracko: Yeah. So?

Kritter 2: Apparently, Dixie Kong and some Mushroom guy made it go boom.

Kracko: (Who in their right mind would say "go boom"?) How did they do that? KAOS 2.0 is built from the rocket we found earlier and some parts from KAOS.

Kritter: We don't know, but we did find this.

Kritter 2 gives Kracko the magic wand.

Kracko: Hmmmmm. Very interesting. I'm going to study this some more. You go and keep our little "friends" busy and keep an eye out for more of these rods while I do some research.

Kritter: Yes, Second in command!

The Kritters leave the room. Just then, Bowser comes up to Kracko.

Bowser: Are you Kracko?

Kracko: Is there anyone else in the Kremling Krew that is a living cloud?

Bowser: I guess you're right. See this Chain Chomp?

Kracko: How could I not see a monster that is larger than that fool Klump?

Bowser: You said that you'd do something to it to make it more powerful.

Kracko: Hmmm. I guess you're right. I wonder how our hedgehog is doing?

Meanwhile on DK Island, the Kongs are relaxing on the beach. Just then, Sonic comes up to DK. Sonic is wearing a businessman disguise.

Sonic: Are you Donkey Kong?

Donkey Kong: Uhhh. I think so...

Cranky: You stupid son of mine! You are Donkey Kong!

DK: Oh yeah.

Sonic: I am Mr. Theodore Henderson, but you can call me Sonny.

Diddy: Sonny Theodore Henderson? For some reason, it sounds so familiar.

Sonic: I'm not talking to you! Anyway... You just won 1,000,000,000,000,000 Bananas!

DK: I did!? Cool! Where are they?!

Sonic: I'll give you them. After you hand over the Master Coconut.

Funky: Don't do it, dude! The Cranky man will, like, totally give you the big ear chew, Dude!

Candy: Funky's right! You better not let him have the Coconut! This is your girlfriend speaking!

DK: But the Bananas!

Diddy: It has to be one of the Kremling Krew's trick! Just say no, DK!

DK: Do you work for the Kremlings?

Sonic: No.

DK: Works for me!

DK enters the jungle to get the Master Coconut.

Diddy: Something's fishy here. Why would some man give a monkey 1,000,000,000,000,000 Bananas for the Master Coconut?

Tiny: I don't know, but he looks kind of like a fuzzy animal. Teehee!

Diddy: Wait a minute... Now I know why Sonny Theodore Henderson sounds so familiar. You're Sonic the Hedgehog!

Sonic: That's right!

Sonic takes off his disguise.

Sonic: Now I'm going to get revenge on you for stuffing me in that barrel!

Sonic pulls out a ray gun and uses it to transform the Kongs into hedgehogs, foxes, and other Sonic critters. DK returns with the Master Coconut.

DK: I got that Master Coconut you wanted! Where are my Bananas?

Sonic: I'll be taking that, thank you!

Sonic swipes the Coconut out of DK's hands. He then pulls out a walkie-talkie.

Sonic: (talking in the walkie-talkie) This is blue rat to green krock. Send me a helicopter right now. Over!

Just then, a helicopter lands near Sonic.

Sonic: I'm sorry, DK, but it looks like I'll have to be going!

Sonic gets on the helicopter and it takes off.

DK: That was a ripoff. Hey! When did we get all these Sonic characters?

Toad and Dixie make it to the Desert Kingdom. It's just the same as it was in Super Mario Bros. 3.

Toad: It's good to see a kingdom that hasn't undergone any changes!

Dixie: That may make you happy, but this place is too hot! I miss the Grass Kingdom!

Toad: By the way, didn't Octorock say something about meeting him here?

Octorock: Who, me?

Toad: So you kept your promise. That's nice. What are you going to do?

Octorock: Climb onto my back and I'll show you!

Toad and Dixie get onto Octorock's back.

Octorock: Let me tell you what I can do. I can shoot rocks at enemies, and I can shoot magic rock platforms that float in the air.

Toad: How did you learn all that?

Octorock: Let's just say that Kamek kidnapped me again and I drank another potion.

Dixie: Wait a minute... You're copying Squitter!

Octorock: I'm nothing like that stupid spider! He can't do this!

Dixie: What's that?


Koin: That's my name! Don't wear it out!

Toad: Would you cut this out, Koin? You're making the Fun Fiction very boring!

Koin: I know you are but what am I?!

Toad: A complete loser. Where's that shell?

Koin: Ha ha! Nice try! I got rid of all the Koopa Shells in this level!

Octorock: So? I can always do this!

Octorock shoots out a very large boulder out of his snout and it squashes Koin.

Koin: ACK!

Dixie: That's another coin to our total!

Toad: What was that?

Octorock: I call it the Mega Rock! It's a cool way to destroy a ton of enemies!

Toad: Wow! Do that again!

Octorock: Sorry, Toad, I can only do that once per stage! The best part about the Mega Rock is that it keeps on rolling!

Dixie: Really?

Meanwhile elsewhere in the desert, a bunch of armored Kritters and Koopatrols are just standing there.

Koopatrol: When that fungus and monkey come over here, they are going to have a little surprise.

Kritter: That's right! We'll give them an ambush!

Just then, the Mega Rock flattens all those Kritters and Koopatrols.

Kritter: ... Ow.

Back with our heroes...

Dixie: You can be so handy, Octorock!

Octorock: Thanks!  ^.^

Toad: Let's go!

The heroes make a very long trek through the desert. They come across a very large chasm.

Toad: Not another one!

Octorock: Wide gaps? No problem! I can clear this gap faster than you can say The Legend of Zelda!

Octorock shoots some hover rocks over the chasm and the heroes jump on each of the rocks to get over it.

Dixie: These rocks are sturdier than Squitter's web platforms!

Octorock: Like I said, I'm better than that spider!

Dixie: Zingers at two o'clock!

A swarm of Zingers come up to the heroes.

Toad: That can't be good.

Octorock: It is for me! Now I can test out my homing rocks!

Toad: Homing rocks?

Octorock: They are like regular rocks, but they home in on baddies!

Octorock shoots some rocks at the Zingers, and each of the rocks hit them.

Octorock: I should start liking Kamek more.

The heroes get to the other side of the chasm. They are now at the no animal sign.

Octorock: What's that?

Dixie: That's the no animal sign. As soon as you pass it, you'll disappear.

Octorock: OH NO!

Octorock runs away.

Toad: ... That was weird.

Dixie and Toad continue across the desert. After 15 minutes, Dixie and Toad become tired.

Toad: Man! I really need some water right about now!

Dixie: Really? I was hoping for bananas.

Toad: Going across this desert isn't the smartest idea.

Dixie: Tell me about it! The sun here is brutal!

Angry Sun: Brutal?! I'll show you brutal!

Just then, the Angry Sun swoops out of the sky to try to burn Dixie to a crisp.


Toad: It's the Angry Sun! He's the guardian of the Desert Kingdom!

Dixie: What will we do, Toad?!


Toad and Dixie run as fast as they can to escape the wrath of the Angry Sun. After a lot of running, they run into Koin.

Toad: Not now, Koin! Can't you see that we have to escape a giant ball of fire?!

Koin: Uhhhhh. No.

Dixie: DUCK!

Toad and Dixie duck for cover.

Koin: Huh?

Just then, the Angry Sun swoops over Toad and Dixie and burns Koin to a crisp.

Koin: ACK!

Toad: Hooray for the Angry Sun!

Angry Sun: Awww shucks.

Dixie: What will we do now?

Angry Sun: How about some more running?

Dixie: Works for me!

Toad, Dixie, and the Angry Sun get back to the chase. After a whole lot of running, they make it to an oasis.

Dixie: Is that a mirage?

Toad: Who cares? Just jump in!

Toad and Dixie jump into the water.


The Angry Sun flies away.

Dixie: This is water!

Toad: That was very lucky!

Dixie: Toad, what's that?

Toad: Hmmm. It looks like a warp pipe. I wonder where it leads?

Toad dives under the water and enters the pipe.

Dixie: Toad, are you sure that's a good idea? Toad? .... Wait for me!

Dixie dives under and enters the pipe too. The two end up inside the pyramid.

Dixie: Where are we, Toad?

Toad: Hmmmm. It looks like we're inside the pyramid.

Dixie: Really? That could explain all the coffins!

Toad: Coffins? Uh oh. I think the part of the pyramid that we are in is the...

Just then, the coffins open up to reveal Mummy Pokies.

Toad: Burial Chamber.

Dixie: I'll handle this!

Dixie is about to smack a Pokey Mummy.

Toad: Don't do that!

Instead of Dixie hurting the Pokey Mummy, Dixie gets hurt by the Pokey Mummy's thrones.

Dixie: OW! OW! OW! OW!

Toad: I warned ya!

Dixie: Shut up, Toad!

Toad: Pokey Mummies are hard to beat because of their thrones! We'd better get out of here!

Dixie: I'm way ahead of you!

Dixie has already gone down the pipe.

Toad: Here I go!

Toad goes down the pipe after her. The two end up in front of the castle.

Dixie: Huh? Well... That's weird. After going down the pipe we went through to enter the pyramid, we ended up somewhere else instead of the oasis. I wonder why that is?

Toad: Beats me, but Mario said that he went down a pipe like that one somewhere else in the pyramid during his adventure to save the Seven Kingdoms.

Dixie: Oh. Well now that we're at the castle, we might as well enter it.

Toad: Good idea!

Toad and Dixie enter the castle. Inside it, they find a giant Chain Chomp that is blazing red from a fever.


Dixie: Is that what K. Rool has? Not a problem!

Dixie is about to smack the Chain Chomp with her hair.

Toad: Uhhh. I don't think that's a good idea.

When Dixie touches the Chain Chomp, she gets burned very badly.


Then the Chomp throws Dixie back to Toad as if she were a rag doll.

Toad: Look, Dixie, you can't fight a Chain Chomp head on! Especially when it has a very bad case of fever!

Dixie: How do we defeat it?

Toad: Hmmmm. Mario said that he cured a Chain Chomp of a fever by dragging it to a pond of water. Why don't we do that?

Chain Chomp: >.<

The Chain Chop runs away.

Dixie: After him!

Toad: Wait! How about we use water to slow him down?

Dixie: Water?

Toad: That's right. Water will help him calm down his fever so we can drag it to the oasis.

Dixie: Is that so? I found a lot of water barrels right here.

Toad: That's great! All we need to do is throw them at it so we can do it!

Dixie: How are we going to throw it at a monster that is always moving at a very fast speed?

Toad: Hmmm.

A little bit later, the Chomp is still moving across the desert. Just then, Dixie goes in front of it. She is wearing a steak costume.

Chomp: (licking his lips) BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!

The Chomp is about to eat Dixie.

Dixie: NOW TOAD!

Just then, Toad starts to throw a lot of water barrels at the Chomp. After 10 barrels of water, the Chomp feels a lot better. Toad grabs its chain and drags it over to the oasis.

Toad: This is going to be too easy.

Just then, the Chomp turns red again and throws Toad all the way over to Dixie.

Dixie: Too easy, huh?

Toad: D'oh! And I almost had it in there!

Dixie: Hmmm... I know! As long as I'm wearing this costume, the Chomp will go wherever I am!

Toad: So?

Dixie jumps into the oasis.

Chomp: BARK! BARK!

The Chomp jumps into the oasis and his fever gets cured.

Dixie: (taking off the steak costume and picking up the DK Coin the Chomp had): Well. Glad that's over!

Doopliss: It is? Well, thank you! Now can you please get me out of this stupid cage?

Toad opens up Doopliss' cage.

Doopliss: Thanks, Shorty! You really did save my bacon!

Toad: Uhhh. You're welcome?

Doopliss: E-Man is still out there somewhere in this world! I'd better save him because E-Man and I are best buds!

Doopliss runs off to see if he can find E-Man. Just then, Cranky comes up to Toad and Dixie.

Cranky: Well done, Toad and Dixie! That metallic beast took a well needed bath! Off you go to the Water Kingdom!

Dixie: We're on it!

Toad and Dixie take the Turbo Skis to the Water Kingdom to save the next prisoner.

Read on!

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