Toad's Kongtastic Journey

By E-Man

Meanwhile on the Swimming Krock, K. Rool is waiting for the return of Kracko.

K. Rool: Where is Kracko? He said he should be back by now.

Just then, Kracko enters the castle with the wands from the Giant Kingdom, Sky Kingdom, Ice Kingdom, and Pipe Kingdom.

Kracko: Hello there, K. Rool. I came back from my errands.

K. Rool: How did you get those wands so fast?

Kracko: The so called Prince Hugo the "brave and mighty" was scared stiff by Mad Jack, making the wand of the Giant Kingdom easy pickings; and getting the wand of the Sky Kingdom was also easy because the prince of the kingdom didn't even try to stop me (he must be a lazy butt). As for the other wands, I traded the kings of those kingdoms honey and peanut butter for them.

K. Rool: That's very nice, Kracko. Now run off and do what you want, ok?

Kracko: Sure thing! I have to do more research on these wands and repair Mad Jack anyway!

Kracko floats to the laboratory of the Swimming Krock to do the things that he said. Just then, Bowser goes over to where K. Rool is.

Bowser: K. Rool! Great news! That coconut rock is now installed in that laser thingy, and it will start charging tomorrow!

K. Rool: I think you mean the Master Coconut and the B.C.P. Anyway, that's great news to hear! Any more news I have to hear?

Bowser: You bet! There are these two Koopa Kids that want to see you!

Two young Koopa dragons (better known as Koopa Kids) that are both female enter the room where K. Rool is. The first one looks a lot like Wendy O. Koopa but she has a pink bow on her head with a purple gem in the middle of it, blue eyelids, a blue necklace around her neck, red bracelets on her wrists, green bracelets on her ankles, and long, blond hair that is in a ponytail. The second one looks a lot like a Yoshi but has a purple shell, golden bracelets on her wrists, pink sweatbands on her ankles, long, pointy nails at the ends of her fingers and toes, blue eyes, purple eyelids, and black, that shoulder length tied into a ponytail by a pink ribbon.

Koopa Kid 1: Hello there, K. Rool. We came here to help you destroy Toad and Dixie.

K. Rool: Why do you want to do that?

Koopa Kid 2: Some freak-in-a-sheet with a bowtie and a party hat used some weird magic on us to make it so we look like freaks! Becau-

K. Rool: Hold it! What did you guys used to be before you became Koopa Kids?

Koopa Kid 2: We used to be human girls. As I was saying, because of what happened to us, we wanted to beat someone up to get rid of all this anger.

K. Rool: That's great! Toad and Dixie are heading for the Ice Kingdom to save Professor E. Gadd. Your job is to go to the king's castle and fight them there. By the way, what are your names?

Koopa Kid 1: My name is Susan B. Koopa.

Koopa Kid 2: And my name is Karma A. Koopa.

Meanwhile in the Ice Kingdom, Toad lands in a plush pile of snow.

Toad: That worked out pretty well! I wonder when-

Just then, Dixie lands on Toad's head.

Dixie: Mallow was right! I did land on a pile of snow! I wonder where Toad is.

Toad: X_X

Dixie: Well... that answers that question.

After 12 minutes, Dixie is able to wake up Toad.

Toad: That really hurt, Dixie! I can't believe you landed on my noggin!

Dixie: Oops. I'm very sorry about that, Toad.

Toad: If you weren't doing an adventure with me, I'd totally kill you!. .. By the way, how do you know Kracko?

Dixie: What are you talking about?

Toad: I think we need a flashback here.


Puppet Thing: Hello there, Tiny and Mr. Mushroom! I am Mad Jack! My master, Kracko, sent me off to destroy you two!

Dixie: (Kracko? Why does that name ring a bell?) I'm not Tiny! I'm her sister, Dixie!

*Flashback over*

Dixie: How did you know that? It was in my head!

Toad: I can read your mind.

Dixie: Really?

Toad: I'm just kidding! I read the text that was in the parenthesis!

Dixie: Ohhhh. Anyway, the reason why it sounded so familiar is because I read it in an Email that Tiff sent me awhile back. Kirby had to fight Kracko by using this thing called a Warp Star, and he also fought him in other places.

Toad: So this Kracko guy is actually a Kirby character. Why would he want to join the Kremling Krew?

Dixie: I have no idea. Brrrrrrrrr. This place is freezing! K-3 wasn't this cold!

Toad: What did you think the Ice Kingdom was like? Hot and sunny? If you want to get out of this glacial wasteland, we'd better find the castle of the kingdom.

Dixie: All right.

Toad makes a sled out of some wood found near the snowpile.

Dixie: Where did you learn to do that?

Toad: The princess has many do-it-yourself books.

Dixie: How come?

Toad: She has a lot of free time on her hands.

Toad and Dixie get onto the sled and slide down a hill.


The sled runs into 11 Goombas, 14 Koopas, and 5 Kritters.

Toad: Ha! Take that!

Meanwhile at the bottom of the hill, Koin plants an explosive mine into the snow.

Koin: Ha ha ha ha! I can't wait 'til Toad and Dixie run over this baby! When that happens, they'll be dead and I can take back all the DK Coins I lost! ... Hey! They're coming now!

Koin hides behind a snowpile. Just then, Toad and Dixie pass over the mine and... nothing happens.

Toad: Hi Koin! Bye Koin!

Koin: Nothing? What do you mean nothing? ... And how did Toad know I was behind this snowpile?

Koin goes over to where the mine is.

Koin: I don't get it. It was supposed to expl-


Koin: ACK!

Toad and Dixie get another DK Coin.

Toad: That was some sled ride! I even got a DK Coin!

Toad and Dixie get off the sled and keep on moving. After eight minutes of walking, a snowball hits Toad on the head.

Toad: OOF!

Dixie: Ha ha!

Another snowball hits Dixie on the head.


Just then, some Shy Guys came out of a snowbank.

One of the Shy Guys: Ha! We balled two more losers today!

Toad: Shy Guys! I should have known!

Another Shy Guy: That's right, Mushroom boy! We just love to throw snowballs at suckers who wander in our territory! Come on, boys, let's throw more snowballs at the Mushroomhead and monkey!

All of the Shy Guys throw snowballs at Toad and Dixie.

Toad: These guys are really bad news! We'd better split!

Dixie: After hitting us with snowballs?! AS IF! Come on, Toad! Let's teach these losers a lesson!

Dixie makes a big pile of snowballs and throws them at some of the Shy Guys!


Yet another Shy Guy: No kidding! One of them got under my robe and it feels so cold!

The first Shy Guy: Are you guys going to retreat?! We haven't even started yet!

Dixie: Toad, are you going to help or not?!

Toad: Uhhhhh, OK!

Toad makes a whole mess of snowballs and throws them at the Shy Guys as well. After 24 minutes of throwing snowballs, one of the Bazukas from Spiral Tower comes over to where the battle is.

Bazuka: Heh heh. Payback.

Toad: Dixie, I can't throw any more snowballs at a pace like this.

Dixie: Shut up and keep throwing!

One of the Shy Guys: Boss, I can't throw any more snowballs at a pace like this.

The first Shy Guy: Shut up and keep throwing!

Just then, the Bazuka shoots a really big snowball at the battle. This sends the Shy Guys flying to Hyrule and Toad and Dixie flying to the other side of the Ice Kingdom.

Bazuka: Serves them right.

Meanwhile, Toad and Dixie have landed near a really big snowball.

Dixie: Darn it! I hate Bazukas!

Toad: Actually, I really love that guy.


Toad: Actually, we're not in the middle of nowhere. We're actually three miles from the castle of the Ice Kingdom. All we need to do is go down that path over there, skate across a frozen lake, and then we'll make it to the castle.

Dixie: Wow. Come to think of it, I like Bazukas now. We'd better get moving!

Toad and Dixie are about to go onto the path that leads to the castle, but it is blocked by that really big snowball that they landed next to.

Toad: Hmmmm. This could be a problem.

Someone: Hello? Is anyone here?

Dixie: All right, who said that?

Someone: I did!

The snowball turns around to reveal a face on it.

Snowball: I am a giant snowman. At least I used to be. Now I'm the head of a giant snowman.

Dixie: Wow! I didn't know that snowballs can talk!

Snowman Head: I am not a snowball. I am the head of a snowman. All snowmen can talk.

Toad: What happened to your body?

Snowman Head: Yesterday, these crocodiles came to the Ice Kingdom and melted my body. If you can get me a new one, I'll return the favor somehow.

Dixie: Don't worry! We're the good guys! That's what the good guys do best!

Dixie starts to make a really big snowball. After a few minutes, the snowball is as big as her.

Dixie: Toad, I could really use some help here.

Toad: Why?

Dixie: This snowball is really hard to push now, and I'm not known for my strength.

Toad: Oh! All right!

Toad helps Dixie push the snowball. After a few seconds, the snowball is at the right size.

Dixie: Woah. You are a strong, little guy, aren't you? You made a really big snowball in record time.

Toad: Thanks! I workout in the gym a lot!

Toad rolls the snowball close to the snowman head, and it jumps on the really big snowball Toad and Dixie made.

Snowman: Wow! This is a pretty good body, guys!

Toad and Dixie: Thanks!

Snowman: As I said before, I will return the favor. What do you want?

Dixie: Can you move off the path so we can go to the castle?

Snowman: Come to think of it, that's part of the reason the crocodiles melted my body. They wanted to use my head to block the path. I'm not saying that because I want to stop you from going to the castle, but I am saying it because I recalled that piece of information.

The snowman jumps off the path, making it so that Toad and Dixie may use it.

Toad and Dixie: Thanks!

Snowman: You're very most welcome.

Toad and walk down the path and continue their journey to the castle. After 14 minutes of walking, they make it to the frozen lake.

Toad: Look! I can see the castle on the other side of the lake!

Toad makes a sprint towards the castle only to slip on the ice and fall down on his face.

Toad: Oooookay. That wasn't the smartest thing I have ever done.

Dixie: You got that right! If we want to cross over this frozen lake, we need some ice skates!

Toad: Where are we going to find those?

Dixie: I might have some on me.

Dixie takes off her pink beret and pulls out two ice skates from it. She then puts the beret back on her head.

Dixie: Here they are!

Toad and Dixie put on the skates and head onto the ice.

Toad: Wow! Skating across a frozen pond is a lot of fun! It's a good thing you brought these skates, Dixie!

Dixie: Thanks! ... Uh oh. I spot trouble!

Toad: Let me guess. It's those Shy Guys again.

Dixie: Not them! I was talking about the losers on the other side of the pond!

Dixie points to a bunch of Kritters with TNT Barrels.

One of the Kritters: Heh heh. Looks like we got some heroes doing a little monkey business, boys. Let's get them!

The Kritters start throwing TNT Barrels across the pond in all directions.

Dixie: Be careful, Toad! TNT Barrels are extremely dangerous! If you touch one of them, you'll be suffering big time!

Toad: No kidding! How are we going to pass them all?!

Dixie: Follow my lead!

Dixie does some figure skating moves to avoid the barrels.

Toad: Cool!

Toad does some figure skating moves like Dixie to avoid the barrels.

Another Kritter: Grrrrrr. They're too hard to hit! We'd better throw more barrels!

Yet another Kritter: Uhhhh... There's a problem with that one.

The first Kritter: What is it?

Yet another Kritter: We ran out of TNT Barrels!

The first Kritter: Gosh dang it! You may have won this time, Kongs, but we'll be back to harm you again someday!

All of the Kritters run away.

Toad and Dixie: Victory for the good guys!

Toad and Dixie get off the ice, take off their skates, and head towards the castle. After six minutes of walking, they make it to the front door of the castle.

Toad: We made it to the castle! All we need to do now is enter the castle!

Toad opens the front door of the castle to find a bear in king's clothes.

Bear: Could you knock on the door the next time you enter my castle? It is very rude to just open the door without knocking.

Toad: I'm sorry, King. I will try to remember that the next time I enter your castle.

Dixie: Hold it, this bear is the king of the Ice Kingdom?

King: Is there something wrong with that? I do recall some kings that are animals like myself.

Dixie: It's not that, it's... Do you know the Brothers Bear?

King: The Brothers Bear, you say? I not only know them, they are also my sons. I wanted one of them to become the new king of the kingdom, but they didn't want to do that and left for the Northern Kremisphere.

Dixie: What about Banjo?

King: Banjo is my grandson. I do believe he lives at Spiral Mountain and he's going to be in a new game that is for the X-Box 360 unfortunately. I just wish that he can take my place as king when he gets to the proper age.

Toad: Can we go inside your castle now? I need to save someone who is in there.

King: Is that so? Come with me.

The king takes Toad and Dixie inside the castle and leads them down a series of hallways. They eventually make it to a chamber with a cage in it. Inside the cage is... nothing?

Toad: Hey! Are you trying to pull our legs!?

King: That's odd. I could have sworn that Professor E. Gadd was in there.

Just then, Susan and Karma drop from the ceiling.

Susan: Looking for the old geezer? We hid him somewhere and we're not going to tell you where he is!

Toad: I never saw you guys before. Who are you guys?

Susan: My name is Susan B. Koopa.

Karma: And my name is Karma A. Koopa.

Toad: Why are you guys here?

Karma: K. Rool sent us to destroy you guys.

Toad: In that case...

Toad, Dixie, Susan, and Karma: LET'S FIGHT!

Toad starts off the battle by rolling into Karma, but she counters it by eating Toad with her long Yoshi tongue.

Karma: Mmmmm. Tastes like Shrooms.

Karma lays an egg and throws it at Dixie.

Dixie: Oh no you don't! I don't want to get hit in the head again!

Dixie grabs the egg and chucks it at Susan. SPLAT! It hits her face.

Susan: Why you!

Susan jumps on Dixie and tackles her to the ground.

Susan: Take this!

Susan starts slapping Dixie while she returns the favor. Toad rises out of some egg goo that came out of the egg Dixie threw at Susan's face.

Toad: I know Mario said I shouldn't treat Yoshis badly, but I'll make an exception for her.

Toad lunges at Karma and starts pulling on her hair. Karma finds out about it and scratches Toad's arm with her fingernails.


While Toad is nursing his arm, Karma punches Toad in the stomach and sends him flying into a wall.

Toad: X_X

Dixie: TOAD!

Dixie slaps Susan hard on both cheeks and runs away from her to see Toad.

Dixie: Toad! Are you all right?!

Toad: Ugggg... Need... food...

Dixie stuffs a banana into Toad's mouth.

Toad: Mmmmm... That was tasty! Now I can go back into the fight!

King: I cannot stand for all this fighting! If you need to fight, do it outside my castl- OOF!

Karma punched the king in the back of the head. This causes him to faint.

Karma: Shut up, ya windbag!

Karma approaches Dixie to grab her and throw her into a wall.

Toad: This is really becoming a very violent chapter. Oddly enough, there isn't any blood. OH MY GOSH! LOOK BEHIND YOU, DIXIE!

Dixie turn around to see what was behind her, but while she is turning, her hair hits Karma in the nose and she faints.

Dixie: What was that all about?

Toad: Mario said that the most sensitive part of the Yoshi is the nose. If something hits it hard enough, the Yoshi will faint.

Just then, Susan goes over to where Dixie and Toad are. Both of her cheeks are puffed up like balloons.

Susan: You stupid monkey! Now I have to walk around with a balloon for a face! I'm going to get even with you!

Susan is about to slap Dixie hard on her cheeks to make her face look like a balloon, but Dixie jumps out of the way and lands on Susan's head. She then covers Susan's eyes with her hands.


Dixie: Toad! Let her have it!

Toad: I'm on it!

Toad punches Susan in the lips really hard. This causes them to swell up to half the size of her face. She finally throws Dixie off her head.

Toad: Ha ha! You can really kiss someone with those lips!

Susan (she's a little bit hard to under stand right now because her lips are so swollen): Vell, vou bay fink it iz funny, but I fink it looks stupid! Vou vill pay for dis!

Toad: Hold on. What did you say?

Susan: >=<+

Toad: Does the = sign in the face Susan made mean her balloon-like lips?


Susan throws Toad into a wall and knocks him out. She then shoots fireballs all over the castle to melt it (the castle is made of ice, after all).

Susan: Ha! Just twy tu get out now!

Susan jumps out of one of the melting windows.

Dixie: Aw shoot! The castle is going to become a lake, and three people are KOed! What am I going to do?! If only there was a magic wishing frog to make it so the castle can't melt anymore! ... A frog? THAT'S IT!

Dixie takes off her pink beret again and pulls out the only thing that can save the day: her pink Frog Suit! She puts it on and grabs Toad, the king, and Karma.

Dixie: Hang on, everyone! It's going to be a bumpy ride!

The castle finally melts into a deep pool of water and Dixie swims through it with her newly gained underwater speed and reflexes. Dixie eventually makes it to a snow-covered shore and drops her passengers onto the snow. Karma is the first to wake up.

Karma: Dixie Kong. You saved my life.

After 24 minutes, Dixie manages to wake everyone up and give them all hot chocolate (Yum!).

Toad: Thanks, Dixie, I owe you one back there.

Dixie: You're welcome! What are friends for?

Karma: I don't get it. Why are you being so nice to me after what I did back there?

Dixie: That's because I'm one of the good guys and we have to save people even if they're evil.

Karma: I'm not truly evil. I can do good too.

Karma punches a nearby tree and Professor E. Gadd, who is now tied up and gagged, falls from it and lands in some snow.

Karma: See what I mean?

Toad: So that's where he was hiding.

King: I'll go and untie him!

Toad: You know, we do need some extra help on our quest. Want to join us?

Karma: Uhhhhh... Ok!

Just then, Cranky appears from out of nowhere.

Cranky: Hold it! Since this story is based on the Donkey Kong games, there can only be two people traveling at once! Also, I wasn't in the last chapter!

Toad throws Cranky into the freezing water and he ends up frozen in an ice cube.

Toad: I always wanted to do that! Let's go to the Pipe Kingdom now!

Dixie: Yeah... There's a problem with that. How will we get there if we left the Turbo Skis at the Sky Kingdom?

Toad: Oops. Never thought about that one when I jumped off the cloud.

Just then, Susan come over to where Toad and Co. are.

Susan (still swollen): How did vu get out of da castle?

Toad: You know, I think your swollen face can help us get to the Pipe Kingdom.

Susan: Huh?

Toad: Dixie, do you have a big basket?

Dixie: I do have one. Why do you ask?

Toad: You'll see.

Toad beats on Susan's face so much that it swells up a lot and engulfs the lower part of her body, making Susan nothing more than a puffy face. For some reason, she is now floating.

Dixie: I get it now! We can use Susan as a hot air balloon!

Karma: Tie her to the basket before she floats away!

Karma gives Toad some rope and he lassos Susan and ties her to Dixie's basket.

Toad: Ok! Everyone must get into the basket!

Toad, Dixie, and Karma get into the basket like Toad said.

Susan: Vhat's going on? I don't vant tu be a hot air balloon!

Toad punches Susan on the lips again. This causes them to swell over her entire face and some of her really puffy cheeks.

Susan (unable to speak because her lips are really swollen): MMM MMMM MMM MMMM!

Toad: That will keep Balloon Girl quiet. Next stop, the Pipe Kingdom!

The Susan balloon sails off into the sky and heads for the Pipe Kingdom to save the next prisoner.

Read on!

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