Super Mario RPG: No Legend of the 7 Dumb Stars

By Crazy Koopa

Chapter 5: Boosterís Tower, Marrymore, and Star Hill Oh My! Featuring Wedding Cake!

Last time Mario and Co. entered the Pipe Vault and ended up on Yoíster Isle. They hurt Boshi very badly and that made the Yoshis happy because they can race together now. After Mario and Co. left Yoíster Isle, they ended up in Moleville. They beat up Punchinello and found one of the seven Dumb Star Pieces. Now back to the story.

Croco: HEY! What about me?!

UhhÖ You died in Chapter 1.

Croco: Wrong! I lit a smoke bomb!

So what do you want me to do now?

Croco: Redo the last chapter!


Chapter 4:

Mario and Co. beat up Croco and took his things.

The End

Croco: Thank you!

Mario and Co. than find a bunch of Snifits chasing a Beetle.

Mario: What are you doing?

Snifit 1: Weíre chasing beetles!

Mallow: Why?

Snifit 2: Because Booster loves beetles!

Geno: Why doesnít he catch his own?

Snifit 3: Because heís giving the princess from the sky company!

Mario: Princess?! Sky?! The?!

Snifit 1: OH NO! The beetle!

Snifit 2: Itís getting away!

Snifit 3: CATCH IT!!!

The Snifits run off to catch the beetle.

Mario: That must be the Princess! Letís go!

Mole: Hey you!

Mario: Me?

Mole: Yeah you!

Mario: What?

Mole: Iím giving you some Fireworks!

Mario: Why?

Mole: Because.

Mario obtains some Fireworks!

Mario: Where did that voice come from?!

Mallow: Donít know.

Geno: Letís go!

Mole Girl: Give me those Fireworks!

Mario: Why?

Mole Girl: Because.

Mario gives the Mole Girl some Fireworks and gets a Shiny Stone!

Mario: What does it do?

Mole Girl: Something useful in the future.

Mario: OkÖ

Mario and Co. finally leave to find Booster.

Mario: Is this where Booster lives?

Mallow: No. This sign says Booster Pass. Next stop, Boosterís Tower! Home of Booster!

Mario: Why do these signs just keep coming out of nowhere?


Mario: Is there anything thatís not from a plothole?

Donít know, donít care.

Mario: Letís just goÖ

Mario and Co. enter the next area and see lots of Spikesters.

Mallow: Letís just walk by quietly and they wonít attack us.

Spikester: ROAR!

Mallow: AHH! WOAH!

Mallow falls down a cliff and lands on a switch. Than all of the Spikesters disappear along with the filled holes they were in.

Mallow: OwÖ

Mario: Yay! Now we can cross without fear!

Mario and Co. exit Booster Pass and see Boosterís Tower in the distance.

Mario: Is that Boosterís Tower?

Mallow: I donít know.

Geno: Letís go there and find out.

Mario and Co. manage to get to the entrance and find someone there.

Mario: Luigi?

Mallow: My parents?

Geno: Smithy?

No, you bunch of morons! None of you are anywhere close! Itís Bowser!

Mario and Co: OhÖ

Bowser: I miss my Keep.

Mario: Bowser?!

Bowser: Mario?!

Mario: Bowser?!

Bowser: Mario?!

Mallow: Mallow?!

Geno: Geno?!

Mario and Bowser: Ö

Mallow and Geno: It looked like fun.

Meanwhile very, very, VERY high upÖ

Princess: Did I hear voices? NahÖ must be the voices in my head. Now back to crying!

Now back to the entrance of the Tower.

Mario: Can you move?

Bowser: OkÖ

Mario: Thank you!

Mario tries to open the door but itís locked.

Mario: Itís locked.

Bowser: BWAHAHAHA! I shall knock it down!

Bowser attempts to knock down the door but doesnít break it down.


Mallow: Let me try!

Bowser: You couldnít even knock down Toadette! HAHAHA!

Mallow turns the doorknob and it opens.

Bowser: Ö

Mario: Ö

Geno: Ö

Mallow: Letís go!

Bowser: You all shall join the Koopa Troop! BWAHAHA!

Mario: OkÖ

Bowser joins the party!

Bowser: What party? I want to party!

Not that kind of party, you moron!

Bowser: OhÖ

Mario and Co. enter Boosterís Tower andÖ

Bowser: HEY! It should be Bowser and Co! Marioís not all that important!

Youíre not the star so too bad.

Bowser: *grumble*

Snifit 1: Booster is upstairs.

Mario: And youíre telling us this becauseÖ?

Snifit 1: Because itís time to fight!

The Snifit blows a Gunk Ball, but it somehow misses completely and reflects back at the Snifit.

Snifit 1: Curses! I have been defeated!

Mario: Letís just goÖ

Geno: Mario, there is-

Mario: Donít want to know.

Mario and Co. climb up the stairsm fighting off Spookums along the way up until they see train tracks in the air.

???: Welcome to my Tower!

Mario: Who said that?

Than a train comes out of the little hole in the wall.

???: I am Booster!

Mario: You look like a totempole.

Booster: This is my famous Tower of amusement and fun!

Mario: Youíre ignoring me!

Booster: But the Tower is currently closed because Iím keeping the princess from the sky company!

Mario: How come all of his sentences so far end in exclamation points?

Booster: Iím going now!

Boosterís train goes off and when it goes behind the canít easily jump over
block stack, Booster canít be seen on the train!

Mario and Co: HUH?!

Then Booster can be seen running on the train tracks and into the little hole in the wall he came from.

Mario: Letís get him!

Mario and Co. attempt to catch him, but are stopped by Snifit 2.

Snifit 2: Please refrain from bothering Booster.

Mario: But we arenítÖ

Snifit 2: Gunk Ball!

Snifit 2 has the same experience as Snifit 1.

Snifit 2: Curses! Iíve been defeated! But youíll never beat Snifit 3!

Mario: OkÖ

Mario and Co. go the other way and through the door and find more Spookums and stairs.

Mario: How tall is this tower?

Mallow: Donít know.

Geno: Well we couldÖ

Bowser: Letís just keep going up to find the princess.

Geno: But...

Mario: No buts. Letís just go.

Mario and Co. enter through the middle path and find a floating treasure chest.

Mario: A treasure chest! Iíll get it!

Mario attempts to jump to it, but misses and lands on the seesaw.

Mario: OuchÖ

Bob-omb: WEEEEEEE!!!

The Bob-omb hits the treasure chest and out comes a Masher.

Mario obtains a Masher!

Mario: Yippee!

The Masher falls down and hits Marioís head.

Mario: X_X

Mallow: Someone has to get him.

Than Mario appears behind them.

Mallow: How did you do that?!

Mario: Plothole!

Mallow: How many plotholes have there been so far?

Mario: I donít know. But there were a lot.

Mallow: Letís go!

Mario and Co continue walking up stairs and hit a switch that makes something happen at Booster Pass. Then in the next room Mario and Co. find a curtain.

Mario: I wonder whatís behind the curtain.

Mario goes behind the curtain and when he comes out, he looks like himself from Super Mario Bros!

Mario: What the?!

Mario: Goes back behind the curtain and changes back. Then the old Lose a Life music plays.

Mario: That was weirdÖ

Mario and Co. continue walking up the stairs and beat the Spookums and find Snifit 3.

Snifit 3: UmmÖ Nice weather weíre having.

Mario: OkÖ

Snifit 3: You want to fight?

Mario: No, not-

Snifit 3: Ok! Bullet Bill!

The Bullet Bill misses and hits the wall and reflects back to him.


Snifit 3: X_X

Mario and Co: Ö

Mario: Letís just goÖ

Mario and Co. enter a room full of Chain Chomps, then beat them. After that, Mario and Co. enter a small room with a Save Block but ignore it. Than Mario and Co. enter a room with a locked door and pictures.

Mario: What do we do here?

Mallow: I donít know.

Bowser: Iím going to break down that door!

Bowser attempts to knock the door down but fails. Then Mallow tries and he opens the door!

Bowser: Ö

Mario and Co. enter the door and find a Chain Chomp. They attempt to fight it but get scared by ití rapid biting. Then Bowser goes up to it and it feels happy. Then Bowser takes the Chain Chomp as a weapon!

Bowser obtains a Chomp!

Mario and Co. later walk some more.

Mario: Iím tired. Is there any way to get to the top faster?

Geno: Yes!

Mario: Really?!

Geno: Yeah! We could use the elevator!

Mario and Co. without Geno: Ö

Geno: There is the elevator now!


Mario presses the rooftop button.


Insert Elevator Music.


Mario and Co. are in the room before the curtain room.

Mario: Look! Another door!

Mallow: Letís go!

Mario and Co. are now in a room with curtains and a toy box.

Mario: Look! Another door!

Princess: Mario! Open this door! Iím not done digging the front yard of your Pad!

Mario: Ö

Mario attempts to open the door but itís also locked.

Princess: You need a password!

Mario: OkÖ uhhÖ Abra Kadabra!

Mallow: Alakazam!

Geno: Open sesame!

Bowser: Bowser is the King!

Mario and Co. without Bowser: Ö

Bowser:  What? It could be a password.


Mario and Co without Bowser: O_o

Bowser: Told you!

Booster: A-ha!

Mario: OH NO! Quick! Hide behind the curtains!

Mario and Co. hide behind the curtains.

Booster: I want to have a wedding! UhÖ But I have no idea what a wedding is.

Snifit 1: You drink punch and eat WEDDING CAKE!

Morton: Did someone say WEDDING CAKE?!


Morton: Sorry.

Snifit 2: Letís practice!

Snifit 3: We need the Mario doll!

Booster: Of course! Mario always comes when things are going well! Find it!

The Snifits and Booster all look for the doll.

Snifits: Itís not here!

Booster: WHAT?! I canít lose my dolls! Find it behind those curtains! Snifit 1! You go first!

Snifit 1: Ok.

Mario and Co: !!!

Snifit 1 opens the curtain Bowser is in but completely ignores him.

Snifit 1: Not hereÖ

Bowser: Ö

Snifit 1 opens the curtain Mallow is in but also ignores him.

Snifit 1: Not here either.

Mallow: Ö

Snifit 1 opens the curtain Mario is behind and also ignores him.

Snifit 1: Not here either.

Mario: Ö

Snifit 1 opens the last curtain Geno is behind.

Snifit 1: A-HA!

Geno: !!!

Snifit 1: I found my lucky mask!

Geno: Ö

Snifit 1: But no Mario dollÖ

Booster: Snifit 2 and 3! You both go help Snifit 1!

Snifit 2 and 3: Ok!

They search and search until Booster decides to step in.

Snifit 1: I found my lucky mask on something made of wood!

Snifit 2: I found my favorite hat on a turtle statue!

Snifit 3: I found some cotton candy on a guy made of cotton candy!

Booster: I found a life-size Mario doll! But still no regular Mario doll!

Mario: This is boringÖ

Mario jumps and makes the regular Mario doll fall from the metal ceiling.

Booster: Goodness! How kind of you! You can have this! May happiness follow you wherever you go!

Mario obtains an Amulet!

Booster and his Snifits go through the door and so do Mario and Co.

Mario: Where did Booster and his Snifits go?

Knife Guy: You guys took the whole time to get up here, so stick around!

Grate Guy: Whoop dee do!

Knife Guy: What did you say about me?!

Grate Guy: Nothing!

Knife Guy: Lies! Take this and that!

Grate Guy: Ouch! Jerk! Take this!

Knife Guy: Yeow! Take that!

Mario: Ö Letís just leave these guys alone.

Mario and Co. jump off the balcony while Grate Guy and Knife Guy are still fighting.

Princess: HELP!

Booster: I want to play hide and seek too!


Booster: Too bad! Weíre running up this hill!

Mario: Donít worry, Princess! Iím coming!

Peach: MARIO!

Booster: Ack! Youíre not invited to our wedding!

Mario: Iím not going up this hill. Iím using the escalator.

Booster: No fair!

After running/using the escalator up Booster Hill, Booster and his Snifits and Mario and Co. enter Marrymore.

Mario: Where are we?

Mallow: The sign in Booster Hill said Marrymore.

Mario: Why would anyone want to be merry more?

Mallow: Not that kind of merry, idiot.

Mario: So this is where we rescue the princess, right?

Geno: I think so.

Mario and Co. enter the item shop/inn and buy new weapons. They attempt to enter the chapel but find itís blocked by Snifit 1.

Snifit 1: The backdoor isnít locked so people can just barge in from the backdoor. Or you could form an angry mob and knock the door down.

Raz and Raini: CHARGE!!!

All the people outside charge at the door and knock it down with Snifit 1 crushed under it.

Snifit 2 and 3: This door is blocked so you canít come in.

Everyone: CHARGE!!!

They all charge at the door and open it. Snifit 2 and 3 are knocked all the way back and knock off the princessí brooch, shoes, ring, and crown.

Snifit 1: Iím back!

Mario: How did you get out from under the door without a scratch?

Snifit 1: Plothole!

Mario: Ö

Snifits: Weíll get the Princessí wedding gear!

The Snifits collect everything but the crown.

Snifits: We need to find the crown! Letís run around like idiots and hope we find it!

The Snifits run around like idiots and knock each other down and drop the gear they grabbed.

Snifits: OwÖ

Mario and Co. grab the gear and the crown off of Boosterís head.

Princess: Thank you for saving me, Mario!

The Princess notices Bowser.

Princess: EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! What is Bowser doing here?!

Bowser: To kidnap you again! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Princess: Iíll just give a kiss to my hero then!

Bowser and Booster: What about us?

Princess: Too bad!


The Princess kissedÖ the wall?!

Mario, Bowser, and Booster: HUH?!

Princess: The wall is my hero!

Mario, Bowser, and Booster: Ö

Chef Torte: Ze cake ist ready!

Mario: Actually weíre leaving with the bride.

Apprentice: The bride is leaving?!

Chef Torte: But zhen no one vill eat zis cake!

Mallow: What about everyone else?

Chef Torte and Apprentice: You fools!

Chef Torte: Take zees!

Mario: Oh no!

Chef Torte attempts to attack Mario but misses completely and hits the cake instead.

Cake: OUCH!!!


Cake: My name is not cake! Itís Bundt!

Third Cake Layer: And my name is Raspberry!

Chef Torte: NO! You are zee VEDDING CAKE!


Bundt and Raspberry: ACK!!! RUN!!!

Mario and Co: Ö

Morton has beaten or eaten Bundt and Raspberry. So that means Mario and Co. win the battle!

Mario: Letís just go home!

Mario and Co. go all the way back to the Mushroom Kingdom.

Toad: Welcome back!

Mario, Princess, and Bowser: O_O  No cursing?!

Toad: I took therapy!

Mario, Princess, and Bowser: OhÖ

Toad: The princess is back! Iíd better tell the Chancellor!

Toad runs off to tell the Chancellor. Than MarioÖ

Princess: Hey! I have an actual name too! But you keep calling me Princess!

Too bad! I donít care. Anyways, Mario entered the Chancellorís throne room.

Toad: Chancellor! The princess is back!!!

Chancellor: Egads!

Toad: What?

Chancellor: Sorry. Now what did you say?

Toad: Chancellor! The princess is back!!!

Chancellor: We have a princess?

Toad: Yes, weíve had one sinceÖ uhhÖ errÖ I donít know how long she has been here. Is she even our princess? How do we now she even exists? Iím confused!

Princess: I was here when I was born.

Toad: Thatís it!

Chancellor: Princess! Youíre back!

Princess: I was for at least three minutes.

Toad: 3 $#%$ long minutes! Oops!

Toad for some reason gets shocked and burned to a crisp.

Mario: Is that the main reason you donít curse anymore?

Toad: YupÖ

Toad faints.

Mario: OkÖ

Princess: We need to find the seven Dumb Stars!

Geno: How do you know about those? I didnít tell you yet!

Princess: I guessed!

Geno: Ö

Chancellor: No youíre not! You need to sleep for no reason!

Princess: Fine!

The princess leaves and the Chancellor speaks some more.

Chancellor: WaitÖ this Smithy guy must have been the one who attacked our kingdom!

Geno: Who keeps telling you these things?! I should be the one to tell you!

Chancellor: Oh, the ceiling seems to be talking now!

Everyone looks up and notices Mack is still stuck in the ceiling from Chapter 1.

Mack: Can I get some help?!

Chancellor: But some of his speech is unintelligible.

Mallow: But heís speaking in English!

Mack: Smithy will rule you all and take over this town!

Chancellor: See! Gibberish!

Mallow: Then why did you say he said that Smithy was the one that took over in Chapter 1?


The guards attempt to seize them but Mario just jumps over them, Mallow shocks them, Geno shoots them, and the guards are too afraid to go near Bowser.

Chancellor: NO!!! Oh wellÖ You all win!!!

Mario and Co: Ö

Mario and Co leave. When they get outside, something happens.

???: Hello!

Mario: The sky is talking!

???: No! Iím right here!

Mallow: Quick! Get a bazooka!

???: Seriously! Iím right here!

Geno: I got the bazooka!

???: IíM RIGHT HERE!!!

Bowser: Shoot the sky!

Geno shoots the sky.

Sky: ACK! NO!!! I DIED!!!

Mario and Co: The sky has died!

???: Itís me! The princess!


Princess: Iím right here!

Mario and Co: OhÖ we knew that.

Princess: Ö

Mallow: Weíre going to ask my grandpa for help!

Mario: But he died.

Mallow: No, that was his twin brother, Frogfusius. He likes to tell people he is Frogfucius.

Mario: OhÖ

Princess: Iím coming with you!!!

Mario: Ok!

The princess joined the party!

Princess: What party?! I didnít know there was a party?


Princess: OhÖ

Mario and Co. leave and head for Tadpole Pond.

Mario: This canít be Tadpole Pond!

Mallow: Yes it is Tadpole Pond!

Mario: No! It says so on this sign!

Sign: Welcome to Tadpole Frog Pond!

Mallow: OhÖ wait! This is a different sign. This is the sign we need!

Sign: Welcome to Tadpole Pond!

Mario: We found the place! Letís go!

Frogfucius: Children! I have some news! A large Star has been sighted at Dumb Star Hill.

Geno: Convenient!

Mario and Co. leave and head to Dumb Star Hill, the place where dumb wishes take form or where the wishes of people who want plumbers that wear red caps with an M on it, gloves, and overalls to be dumb go.

Geno: This is Dumb Star Hill!

Mario: It looks dumb.

Geno: Thatís why it got that name! And it also holds dumb wishes!

Mario: But the chapter title says it's Star Hill!

Geno: The author made a mistake!

Mallow: Letís just look for that Dumb Star Piece!

Mario and Co. enter through the wide open hole in the Star Gate. They continue doing this until they find something funny.

Mario: I found another funny wish!

Wish: I wish my dumb brother Mario was a moron.

Geno: That is funny!

Mallow: Look what I found!

Mallow spotted another dumb wish that is exactly next to the Dumb Star Piece.

Bowser: Look! The Star!

Mario: There are stars everywhere, Bowser.

Princess: No! The Star is right there!

Mallow: Yeah, and Banjo and Kazooie saved their little sister from an ugly and evil witch named Gruntilda.

Geno: They are both right! The Star is right there!

Mario: RightÖ

Princess: Look, Mario! Cheese!

Mario: CHEESE! Where?!

Princess: Right there!

She points at the Dumb Star Piece.

Mario: That cheese is mine!!!

Mario grabs the fourth Dumb Star Piece!

Mario: Hey! This isnít cheese! This is one of the seven Dumb Star Pieces! Why didnít you guys tell me it was here?

Geno, Bowser, and the Princess: Ö

End of Chapter 5:

Why did Croco want me to redo Chapter 4? Why is this chapter the longest chapter so far? Why does Booster love beetles? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Why am I still asking these questions? Find out on Chapter 6: The Dumb Star of the Sea!

Read on!

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to mymain page.