Lemmy's Mansion 2: Paper Lemmy

By P.T. Piranha

September 16, 2006

Recap: Recap? We don't need no stinkin' recap! Basically, we previously had a Luigi's Mansion parody, but Lemmy and Iggy were respectively replacing Luigi and Mario. Also, P.T. (and sometimes Homer and a Torpedo Ted) were there. Now on with the stor-ay, bay-bay! Groovy!

Prologue: 2 Villains Plotting Revenge, At Once.

Popple is walking through the haunted forest.

Popple: Stealing the last smoothie wasn't good enough. I need to pull off a bigger heist!

Popple sees Lemmy's ritzy mansion.

Popple: I could pull off the motherload of heists at that place! But first, I want to see if I can rob from E. Gadd's lab.

Soon, in Gadd's lab...

Popple: This isn't as much fun, without the possibility of getting caught, eversince Gadd never returned from his vacation.

Popple makes his way to the gallery.

Popple: Oooh… These would sell great on Ebay! But I want to go find the most expensive-looking one!

He does. And the portrait that he picks is King Boo's. But he soon has to go to the bathroom. So he puts the portrait on the ground, in front of the bathroom door. However, he slams the door so hard, he causes a potion to fall from a shelf. But not just any potion, the one that turned Iggy back to normal. Guess where the potion lands, I dare you. Yep! On King Boo's portrait.

King Boo: I'm free! Free to destroy he who imprisoned me!

Goomba-monster in a giant vial: Luigi?

Koopa-monster in a giant vial: Morgan Freeman?

Chain Chomp-monster in a giant vial: As Jay Resop's character, Bill, would say, "Al Gore"?

Al Gore: I invented Al Gore!

Plit: 0.0

King Boo: All three of them in due time. But for now, I'm talking about Lemmy! But first, I'd like to go fly around the Mushroom Kingdom, seeing if anything has changed in my absence.

He flies away. Popple comes out of the bathroom.

Popple: Where's the portrait?!

Meanwhile, we see the whole X-Naut army lying on the ground.

Lord Crump: What happened?

Grodus: I'll tell you what happened! Some meteor destroyed our moon base!

Crump: Oh my DAD! What do we do about it?!

Grodus: The script for the prequel said that it came from a mansion in a forest in the Mushroom Kingdom. We will go there. Assemble the army!

Crump: Uh, there is no army. We're the only ones that survived the whole ordeal.

Grodus: Oh. To the mansion!

King Boo is flying by at that moment.

King Boo: I know who destroyed your moon base.

Grodus: Tell me!

Blue Wind: My line!

King Boo: Only if we can team up. We both hate the guy who did this.

Grodus: Fine!

King Boo: It was Lemmy Koopa!

Crump: Take us to him!

Grodus: Silence, Crump! ... Take us to him!

King Boo: Hahahahaha!

Grodus: Gack-ack-ack-ack!

Crump: Buh-huh-huh-huh!

Chapter 1: The Empire (Of Boos And X-Nauts) Strikes Back

Lemmy is waking up in his mansion.

Lemmy: Ah. I wonder what I'll do today.

P.T. barges through the door.

P.T.: Lemmy! None of us want to interview! You must interview!

Lemmy: Don't wanna!

P.T.: You are going to interview, and you are going to like it, young man!

Lemmy: I don't wanna! Waaaah! Besides, I need to go eat breakfast.

P.T.: I'll take you by the pancake house on our way to the studio.

Lemmy: 'Kay.

So they leave the mansion. But as soon as they're outside...

Grodus: Are you the one who blew up the moon?

Lemmy: Hmm...


Then, the asteroid Lemmy shot at the moon causes the moon to blow up, along with the X-Nauts’ base. Back at the mansion...

P.T.: Aaaaah! You blew up the moon! What will couples on a romantic date look at?! What will the wolves howl at?! What will I stare at every night when I'm bored?!

Lemmy: Oops.

End Flashback…

Lemmy: I guess. Heh heh, oops.

Grodus: Die!

King Boo: Patience, Grodus.

Lemmy: King Boo?!

P.T.: King who?

Lemmy: King Boo! The villain of the prequel! He was the final fight!

P.T.: Nope, doesn't ring a bell.

Lemmy: Where were you during the prequel?!

P.T.: In my happy place, Eddy!

Plit: -_-

Grodus: We've come for revenge!

Lemmy: But you didn't get revenge against Luigi when he destroyed the moon!

Grodus: Says who?

We see Luigi's grave in a graveyard. Mario and Daisy are weeping.

P.T.: Hey? Where's Chump?

Crump: I'm right here. And it's "Crump".

P.T.: Liah!

Crump: -_-

Meanwhile, we see Popple leaving Gadd's lab.

Popple: Well that trip stunk! Now to go after the Mansion, like I said I would!

Popple sees Lemmy, P.T., Grodus, Crump, and King Boo outside the mansion.

Popple: (Good! They're all out of the mansion! No one can stop me!)

Popple climbs into a window, and no one notices.

Grodus: I'll tell you what...

Hank Hill: My line!

Grodus zaps Hank.

Hank: Aaaah! I'll tell you what! I'm gonna kick your-

P.T. and Lemmy: Ahem!

Hank: ...butt.

Grodus zaps Hank harder, so much that he faints.

Grodus: I'll tell you what, give me all seven Crystal Stars, and you can have your mansion back.

Lemmy: Have it back? I have it, right now!

Grodus: K.B., do your thing!

King Boo summons an armada of Boos to pick up the mansion.

Lemmy: Holy Monty Moley!

P.T.: (Never heard that one before…)

Crump: I never get any lines! So I'll say this! Once you've obtained all seven Crystal Stars, we will be inside a fortress on an asteroid that's just as big as the moon, in the same location where the moon was!

P.T.: That sounds dumb.

Mario's Clone: Like me! Hey! That's my first coherent sentence! Aaah! It burns! ... Cheese.

Grodus teleports himself and Crump to the asteroid. King Boo flies to the asteroid. And the Boos carrying the mansion fly to the asteroid.

Popple: Is it me, or is this mansion going up? Probably that taco I ate.

Iggy: Taco!

Iggy vanishes into thin air. But he reappears in Roy's Sports Hall, just in the middle of a fight between Roy and Rawk Hawk. His fate is too violent to tell you about. Anyway...

Lemmy: My mansion! It's gone!

P.T.: Well this stinks!

Lemmy: We have to go get it back!

P.T.: How?

Lemmy: We have to go get the Crystal Stars! Get in your car! You will drive me to Toad Town Docks!

Hank (who just woke up): What about me?

P.T.: Go interview that person!

Hank's eyes get squinty, and the screen is widescreen.

Hank: I'll do it!

The screen goes back to normal and Hank runs to the studio.

P.T.: Hey! That joke has already been used on me in the prequel! Why do I have to help, again?

Lemmy: Same reason you had to help me in the prequel.

P.T.: 'Kay.

P.T. drives them to Toad Town Docks. When they get there...

Lemmy: Hey, Tuna!

Tuna: I'm a whale! What do you want?

Lemmy: Take us to Rogueport. Or I'll tell everyone what you did on March 3rd!

P.T.: Hey! You have to use that on me!

Tuna: Okay. To Rogueport!

Lemmy and P.T. hop on the tuna's back. What will happen? Will Grodus and King Boo succeed in getting revenge? Will Popple get out of the mansion? Will I stop making parodies? Find out!

Chapter 2: Rogueport

The tuna has just reached Rogueport.

Tuna: Here we are. And I'm a whale.

P.T.: Says you!

The tuna swims away.

P.T.: Now what?

Lemmy: By playing Paper Mario 2, I've learned that the Crystal Star that's literally called the Crystal Star was in Rogueport, before the X-Nauts took it to their base. I think it's back in town now.

P.T.: 'Kay. I think Charlieton has one. Hey! I just realized that this is called "Lemmy's Mansion 2: Paper Lemmy", but this is a parody of Paper Mario 2! Not 1! Plus, it sounds like I'm mentioning the tourist named Paperlemmy.

Lemmy: Well you're not. To Charlieton's!

But during the trip to Rogueport, the following scene happened in Grodus' new base.

Grodus: Crump, I don't want Lemmy to get his mansion back. So please make sure he doesn't get the Crystal Stars.

Crump: 'Kay. And with that, Pow! I'm gone!

Crump uses a stolen Magikoopa wand to teleport to Rogueport. Then the wand breaks.

Crump: Crud.

He walks over to Charlieton.

Crump: I'll give you $100 for that Crystal Star.

Charlieton: Sold!

They exchange items.

Crump: Hahaha! I got it!

Wario and/or Waluigi: My line!

Crump throws a grenade at Wario and/or Waluigi. He then runs all the way to the sewers, so he can teleport to the new base. Back with our heroes...

Lemmy: Where does Chalieton usually set up shop?

P.T.: I don't know.

Crump runs past them.

Lemmy: After him!

They chase Crump all the way to the eastern area of Rogueport. But just before he can get into the pipe to take him to the sewers...

Lemmy: Freeze!

Lemmy freezes Crump with his Freeze Gun. P.T. takes the Star out of Crump's hands.

P.T.: Oh my DAD! I forgot to buy ghost-dog food for Spooky!

Lemmy: We'll pick some up on our way back to the Mushroom Kingdom.

P.T.: 'Kay. Now what?

Frankly: You must go to Petal Meadows. The Diamond Star is there.

Lemmy: Are you going to bet on us getting the Stars in some gambling league, like you did in Shady Parakoopa's FF?

Frankly: No. I'm trying to quit.

P.T.: How do we get to Petal Meadows?

Frankly: Sewers.

P.T.: I bet we're gonna be down there a lot.

Frankly: Believe it!

Naruto: My line!

Lemmy: Enough with the My Lines! They’re starting to be as frequent as the D'ohs were in the prequel!

Blue Wind, Hank Hill, Wario and/or Waluigi, and Naruto: Sorry.

Frankly: Good luck!

Lemmy and P.T. enter the pipe. In the sewers...

Gooper Blooper: I'm here in the stead of my cousin, the giant Blooper in Paper Mario 2!

P.T.: (Why is it always cousins?)

Lemmy: Mmm… Calamari…

Gooper Blooper: Sick-o!

Gooper Blooper spits ink at Lemmy.

Lemmy: Ew!

Mario comes and defeats Gooper Blooper in the same way he did in Super Mario Sunshine.

Gooper Blooper: I'll be back!

Gooper Blooper dives underwater.

Mario: Now what, FLUDD?

Fludd: Go back to weeping with Daisy.

Mario: 'Kay.

Mario uses a Warp Whistle to warp back to the graveyard.

Lemmy: Weird.

The duo jump into the warp pipe.

Chapter 3: Castle and Dragon (And Pinheads)

The duo emerge from the pipe.

P.T.: I can't believe we found out the meaning of life in that warp pipe!

Lemmy: No we didn't.

P.T.: Sssh! I'm trying to make the readers mad by bragging that we know the meaning of life, yet not telling them what it is!

Lemmy: You know, the readers are reading this. They'll read what you just said.

P.T.: D'o-

Lemmy: Oh no you don't! That may have been a running gag in the prequel, but not in the sequel! So, now what?

A big, red dragon flies overhead.

Hooktail: Dragon to Castle, Dragon to Castle, requesting clearance for landing. Repeat, requesting clearance for landing.

In some control room in the castle...

Shy Guy: Castle to Dragon, Castle to Dragon, clearance granted. Repeat, clearance granted.

Hooktail lands in the castle.

P.T.: Why did they act like an airplane and airport?

Lemmy: I don't know. Let's go see if any of the townspeople know where the
Diamond Star is.

One trek across the fields later...

Koopa: Are you "The" Lemmy?

Lemmy: Oh no you don't! We've already made a reference to Shady Parakoopa's FF once! We're not going to keep doing that!

Koopa and P.T.: Aw, man!

Jake Long: My line!

Lemmy: What did I say about the My Lines?!

Jake: Sorry.

P.T.: But I like Shady Parakoopa's FF! It's fun-nay!

Lemmy: Does anyone know where the Diamond Star is?

Koopa and Jake: No.

Lemmy: Jake, go back to NYC. Cameo appearance characters aren't meant to stick around in a scene that long!

Jake: Aw, man!

Koopa: Are you "The" Jake Long?

The Koopa has a sudden heart attack and dies.

Lemmy: Weird.

Mayor Kroop: I know where the Diamond Star is.

P.T.: Where?

Kroop: I'll only tell you, if you defeat the monster in Shhwonk Fortress.

P.T.: Nevah!

P.T. pulls out a Yu-Gi-Oh card.

P.T.: I summon Diddy Kong, in defense mode!

Diddy Kong appears. P.T. takes his jetpack.

Diddy: I oughta maim you for that!

P.T.: But you're in defense mode!

Jaden: I equip Spark Blaster!

Diddy gets Spark Blaster, changes himself to attack mode, and beats up P.T.

Spark Man: I'm supposed to get that!

Spark Man beats up Jaden.

Lemmy: Diddy, please give us your jetpack.

Diddy: 'Kay.

Diddy gives Lemmy the jetpack. Lemmy puts it on, grabs P.T., and flies to Hooktail Castle. Not "Hooktail's Castle". The castle is called Hooktail Castle. Lemmy and P.T. land on the balcony, just outside of Hooktail's room.

P.T.: All right!

However, a hole opens up under the two. They fall.

Author: I couldn't let you get to Hooktail that fast!

P.T.: Curse you!

Lemmy: Aren't you the author?

P.T.: 0.0

Twilight Zone music plays. Anyway, they land in the room with the remains of Kolorado's father.

Red Bones: Perish.

Lemmy: Why?

Red Bones: I never thought of that.

Lemmy: While you think of that, I'm going to proceed.

Red Bones: The tourist stays behind.

Lemmy: 'Kay.

P.T.: What?! Lemmy! You're fighting, too!

Lemmy: Darn.

RPG Battle!

Lemmy: HP: 30/30
P.T.: HP: 25/25
Red Bones: HP: 20/20

Lemmy uses "Freeze Gun". No effect.

P.T. uses "Fusion" to become Lem T. Spookyhomerted.

Red Bones: But Spooky, Homer, and Torpedo Ted have to be present for that to work!

Too Bad! Lem T. Spookyhomerted uses "Super Fist of the Cameo Appearance: Cameo Cannon!" Lem T. Spookyhomerted shoots Jake Long, Naruto, Calcifer (from Howl's Moving Castle), Aang, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Spongebob, Patrick, Squidward, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, Bobobo, Don Patch, Jelly Jiggler, Link, Samus, Pikachu, Homer Simpson, Hank Hill, John Redcorn, and Torpedo Girl out of a cannon on his face. They all hit Red Bones. 10 damage!

Torpedo Girl: I'm a torpedo!

Torpedo Ted: I love you!

Red Bones uses "Bone toss" on Lem T. Spookyhomerted. 5 damage!

Lem T. Spookyhomerted is now Lemmy and P.T. again.

Lemmy: HP: 30/30
P.T.: HP: 20/25
Red Bones: HP: 10/20

Lemmy uses "Anti-Skeleton Pebble". He tosses a pebble at Red Bones. 10 damage!

Lemmy: HP: 30/30
P.T.: HP: 20/25
Red Bones: HP: 0/20

Lemmy and P.T. win!

Battle Over!

Lemmy: No more cameo appearances!

P.T.: Waah!


Black Chest: If you let me out, I'll give you candy.


P.T. drags Lemmy into the next room. In there, they see and grab the key. However, spikes pop out of the floor, and the spiked ceiling starts to lower.

Lemmy: Oh, perfect!

P.T.: Super Fist of the Nosehair: Gondola Tour!

Suddenly, P.T. and Lemmy are in a gondola, which carries them to a landing spot in the room with the chest.

Chest: Got the key?

Lemmy uses the key on the chest.

Spirit: Fo0o0oooooooooooo0oooooo0ooolllllls!!!

Lemmy: Aren't you supposed to curse us?

P.T.: Or give us candy?

Spirit: When I cursed Mario, it helped him. When I gave candy to Morgan Freeman, he had a heart attack, and I got sued!

The spirit flies away. Lemmy and P.T. progress through the castle. Eventually, they get back to the balcony.

Lemmy: All right!

P.T.: We're really high.

Lemmy: Just don't go near the edge.

P.T. is sitting on the edge, drinking a smoothie.

P.T.: Aw, man!

Lemmy: I thought Popple stole the last smoothie!

P.T.: Well...

P.T. jumps down the hole.

Lemmy: Idiot.

Lemmy jumps over the hole, and enters Hooktail's room.

Hooktail: Yay! Lunch!

Lemmy: Did you eat the Diamond Star?

Hooktail: Yes.

Lemmy: Throw it up, now!

Hooktail: Nevah!

Hooktail breathes fire on Lemmy.

Lemmy: Ow.


P.T.: That hurt. I guess I'll have to work my way back to the top.

Red Bones: Not so fast!

P.T.: You again?

Red Bones: Yes! Perish.

P.T. and Red Bones get into a kung fu battle. Meanwhile, Hooktail breathes fire on Lemmy.

Lemmy: Aaah! It burns!

Lemmy shoots ice out of his Freeze Gun, into Hooktail's mouth.

Hooktail: Aaah! It doesn't burn!


P.T.: None of my kung fu has worked. So say hello to Bob!

P.T. pulls out a Bob-omb.

Red Bones: Oh, like I didn't know it would be a Bob-omb.

P.T. throws Bob at Red Bones. It explodes.

Rumble! Rumble! Rumble!

P.T.: What's that?

Red Bones's Skull: This room is going to collapse. Not only that, but since this room supports the whole castle, the rest of the castle's going down!

P.T.: You know, the builders really shouldn't have made the whole castle rest on one room.

Meanwhile, in Hooktail's room...

Lemmy: What's going on?!

Hooktail: The castle's collapsing!

Lemmy: Oh my DAD!

Lemmy jumps out the window.

Hooktail: He could've just taken the escape pod.

Hooktail tries to use the escape pod, but is too big to fit. She tries to fly out, but a chunk of the ceiling hits her head and knocks her out. Meanwhile...

P.T.: So the castle's collapsing?

Red Bones's Skull: For the 11th time, yes!

P.T.: Oh.

P.T. nonchalantly walks out of the castle. Outside...


P.T.: Whodat?

Lemmy crashes right next to P.T.

P.T.: Jumped out the window, when you could've used the escape pod, again?

Lemmy: Yep.

The castle collapses. Hooktail emerges from what's left of the castle.

Hooktail: Die!

P.T.: Meet Bob Jr!

P.T. throws Bob Jr. into Hooktail's mouth. She explodes.

Lemmy: What about the Diamond Star?!

The Diamond Star lands on Lemmy's head, knocking him out. You see, it was blown into the sky when Hooktail exploded.

P.T.: Let's go ask Frankly where the Emerald Star is.

P.T. picks up Lemmy and the Diamond Star, and makes his way to the pipe that will take him to Rogueport Sewers.


Note: I only do this every other chapter.

Shady Parakoopa: You stole that from me!

P.T.: No, the readers need to know what happens to Crump every now and then.

Shady: Says who?

P.T.: DAD.

Shady: Darn.

Anyway, back in Rogueport, Crump has finally thawed. But he sees that he no longer has the Crystal Star.

Crump: Darn it! Also, I bet that in the time I was frozen, they already got the one in Hooktail Castle! Double darn it! At least they might not have obtained the Emerald Star. To Boggly Woods!

Crump goes into the sewer.

Crump: Now, which way was the pipe to Boggly Woods, again? Oh, I know!

Crump makes his way to the Boggly Woods pipe, and hops in.

Chapter 4: Tree For 2

P.T. (still carrying Lemmy and the Diamond Star) just came out of the sewers and headed for Frankly's house.

P.T.: Frankly, where's the Emerald Star?

Frankly: It's in The Great Tree.

Lemmy wakes up.

Lemmy: That hurt. Where did he say we're going?

Frankly: Boggly Woods.

Lemmy: Let's a go!

Mario: My-

Lemmy: No more My Lines!

Mario: Sorry.

Mario once again uses a Warp Whistle to go to the graveyard. In the sewers...

Lemmy: Which way is the pipe to Boggly Woods?

P.T.: Not sure. I'll use my Techno-Boomerang. It goes for whatever I tell it to!

Lemmy: Where'd you get that?

P.T.: Cereal box tops. Okay Techno-Boomerang, find a pipe that will take us to Boggly Woods!

It does. The duo follows it.

P.T.: And here's the pipe to Boggly Woods!

Lemmy: Wow.

The Techno-Boomerang explodes.

P.T.: Nooo!

Your journey would be too easy if you had that for the whole adventure.

P.T.: Oh.

Lemmy and P.T. jump into a pipe. Meanwhile, in Boggly Woods...

Beldam: I can't believe you lost the picture!

Vivian: What picture?

Marilyn: Guh.

Vivian: Oh.


Grodus: I heard that Crump failed to get the Crystal and Diamond Stars. So I need you to make sure he doesn't fail to get the Emerald Star, by stopping these 2.

Grodus gives the Shadow Sirens a picture of Lemmy and P.T.

Beldam: We won't fail you. And if we do, I'll just blame Vivian.

Grodus: 'Kay.

King Boo: Grodus, where's the little ghost's room?

End Flashback…

Beldam: For losing it, you must-

Vivian: I saw you put it in your hat!

Beldam: I know! I just wanted an excuse for blaming you!

Beldam breaks down crying.

Marilyn: Guh.

Vivian: I know.

Lemmy and P.T. appear.

Vivian: Aaah! Beldam, I think these are the guys!

Beldam: Attack!

Marilyn does a lightning attack.

Lemmy: Blagidagiblagidagiblagidagi- End Transmission!

Larry: My line!

P.T.: Hey! That joke was already used in that one Interview I did!

Vivian does a fire attack.

P.T.: Aaah! It burns!

Beldam does an ice attack.

P.T.: Aaah! It doesn't burn!

Lemmy: That joke has already been used!

Lemmy uses his Freeze Gun. Only Vivian and Marilyn are frozen.

Beldam: I'm immune to ice!

Lemmy: So am I!

Sir Weston: So am I!

Lemmy: I thought I sucked you up!

Sir Weston: Well... Look! A monkey!

Lemmy looks the other way, while Sir Weston flies away. During all of this, P.T. bonks Beldam on her head with his Boomerang. This knocks her out.

Lemmy: Good job, Petey!

P.T.: How did you know what the P in P.T. stands for?!

Lemmy: Remember the prequel?


Lemmbert Ice Koopa and Petey Tarantula Piranha have just entered the mansion.

End Flashback…

P.T.: Oh. Okay, Lemmbert! To the tree!

Soon, they make it to the tree.

Link: Hi, P.T. Hi, Lemmy.

P.T.: Hi, Link.

Lemmy: Hi, Link. What are you doing here?

Link: Isn't this the Great Deku Tree?

Lemmy: No. This is the Great Boggly Tree.

Link: Oh. See you in the next chapter!

Lemmy: Whatever that means.

They enter the tree. Inside...

X-Bot #1: Perish!

X-Bot #2: Perish!

P.T.: What's an X-Bot?

Robots that look like X-Nauts. They were built shortly before Grodus sent Crump down to Rogueport. The reason is because all the other X-Nauts are dead.

P.T.: Oh.

P.T. throws his boomerang, and it hits the self-destruct button on both X-Bots. They explode.

Lemmy: Oookaaay.

Boo #3: Perish!

P.T.: Boo #3! Long time, no see! Hey! That rhymed!

Boo #3: I know. Hey, I thought I was sucked up once Boolossus was defeated.

Lemmy: I think I missed you.

Lemmy sucks up Boo #3.

P.T.: Wait, where'd you get the vacuum?

Lemmy: I had it in my shell the whole time.

P.T.: 'Kay.

Eventually, they find a room containing Punies in cages.

Punies: Let us out!

P.T.: This looks like a job for Bob the 3rd!

P.T. throws Bob the 3rd at the cage, freeing the Punies.

Puni Elder: What about me?

Mr. Incredible appears.

Mr. Incredible: Show time!

He bends the bars, so the elder can escape.

Lemmy: Okay, Bob Parr. Watch the Punies, while we look for the Emerald Star.

Mr. Incredible: 'Kay.

Soon, Lemmy and P.T. are in a room with ten Jabbies.

P.T.: Only ten?

90 more appear.

P.T.: So what?

They all join together to form a Macho Grubba made of Jabbies.

P.T.: -

Lemmy: Shut up.

However, Mr. Incredible and the Punies appear, and beat the tar out of the Jabbies.

Jabbies: Owie.

Then, a cage appears around Lemmy, P.T., and the Punies. Mr. Incredible explodes for seemingly no reason.

Crump: I'm not letting you get the Emerald Star!

Lemmy: You thawed? Oh well, I'll just freeze you again!

Lemmy tries freezing him again, but...

Lemmy: Dang. Outta juice.

Waluigi: Waluigi to the rescue!

Waluigi rams into Crump at high speeds.

Crump: I thought I got rid of you, back in Desert Land!

Waluigi steals Crump's remote, frees our heroes, and explodes. Now the remote explodes.

Lemmy: Enough exploding already!

Lemmy and P.T. sneak past Crump, who's dazed from the explosions, and go to the room with the tiny pools.

Boom Box (like on Oho Oasis): If you want the Emerald Star, you must weigh enough, for it to come out.

P.T.: Brain Blast!

P.T. throws Lemmy at the tiny pool, knocking it over and revealing the Emerald Star.

Crump: Thanks.

Crump takes the Emerald Star, and presses a button on a second remote.

Crump: The tree will now explode. If you don't mind, I'm going to leave.

Crump presses a different button to summon a pipe, but...

Crump: Dang. Outta batteries.

Lemmy and P.T. get a look that says, "Let's beat him up, and take the Star".

Crump: Oh no you don't! Say hello to Magnus von Grapple 3.0! AKA G-4!

A giant, grayish-brownish robot appears. Crump hops into the cockpit.

P.T.: That thing looks retarded!

Lemmy: Yeah!

Crump: I know you are, but what am I?

Lemmy: Colorblind, if you think you could pull off getting by with that color scheme!

P.T.: Yeah!

Crump: Grr.

P.T.: Honestly, Lord Chump!


Crump, in the G-4, tries to count to 10, but can't take 5, and now P.T. and Lemmy give him the ol' 1-2!

P.T.: Now it's time for the secret attack!

Lemmy: What secret attack?

P.T.: Don't ask! It's a secret! Super Fist of the Nosehair: Koopa Twin Cannons!

P.T. grabs Iggy and Lemmy, opens their mouths, and pulls their tails, as if they were gun triggers. Cannonballs shoot out of each twin's mouth.

Iggy: I *spits cannonball* thought that since *spits cannonball* I am in my Super Mario World *spits cannonball* color scheme, *spits cannonball* I was technically not a twin. *spits cannonball*

Lemmy: I *spits cannonball* know.

Eventually, the cannonballs break the glass dome on top of G-4.

Crump: Aaah! My protective glass dome is gone! Now I'm vulnerable.

P.T.: Hey! You are!

P.T. aims the "twins" at Crump. A cannonball hits Crump, knocking him out of the G-4.

Crump: Darn.

Lemmy: We're out of ammo.

P.T.: Darn.

Iggy vanishes, and reappears in the middle of a fight between Roy and Rawk Hawk. Meanwhile...

Crump: Great. My robot has been defeated, and the tree is about to blow up.

Lemmy and P.T.: WHAT?!

Crump: At least I got the Emerald Star!

The tree blows up, with our heroes still inside. Did they survive?

Read on!

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