Leg 10: The Super Extravagant Finale of Insane Insanity and Uber Nerrness
The Dryest Bones: Twelve teams of two... or was it technically fourteen? Ah, like it matters! Anyway, twelve teams... ten legs... nine eliminations... one race... one prize...one overly annoying host…
Lord Crump: YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN!
The Dryest Bones: -two winners... one extremely long leg. That's right, folks! It's the moment you've all been waiting for: The Amushroom Race Finale! HEY! This makes me the first person to ever finish a Race that I started! YEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!
Lord Crump: You aren't counting Crankymama*enternumbershere*'s Mario Party race thing, are you?
The Dryest Bones: I don't even know who that is. Well, anyway, there's been disputed arguments...
Leg 1
Boolossus: WATER!
Giant Dry Bones: WARP!
Boolossus: WATER!
Giant Dry Bones: WARP!
Bickering continues...
The Dryest Bones: There's been cheating...
Leg 5
Yoshi brings out his cell phone.
Yellow Yoshi: Hello?
Yoshi: Hi Yellow, Yoshi want to go to Soda Lake without dying in Cheese Bridge.
Yellow: All right, I'll have Lakitu bring you over.
Yoshi: Thanks.
Lakitu takes Yoshi and Birdo to Soda Lake.
The Dryest Bones: And there's been just some plain unsportsmanlike conduct...
Leg 7
Lemmy: ...!
Ludwig: ... ... ... ... ... .! .! .!
Kamek: WOAH!
Bowser: What did he say?
Kamek: Things that were said... like at that pirate convention you went to.
The Dryest Bones: We began with twelve teams, but now only three remain! Team Big was eliminated for arguing with each other the entire episode. Team Bubble was just plain unlucky and fell victim to the author's trick leg curse. Team Puff was eliminated for Peach's reluctance to help Toad at the cost of her own health. Team SCREAM was eliminated for disbanding and starting a rock band... and Rudy getting eaten by Bowser. Teams Egg and Tyrant were eliminated at random through their own mistakes... and Mario. Team 64 was eliminated for overeating and being unable to move. Team ? was eliminated because of The King's idiocy. Team Koopa was eliminated for not paying attention to Iggy's cheating during a challenge. Team Mario was eliminated due to a vehicle with bad camera controls... not to mention Mario. And Team Ball was eliminated because Lemmy forgot the directions to his own Land.
Lemmy: HEY!
The Dryest Bones: But now, three teams remain, though I can't say I'm happy with how it turned out. Currently in first place, we have Petey Piranha and a Boomerang Brother named Boomer. Using wits, ancient magic, and Petey's invaluable abilities to fly and spit, the team has secured a firm lead. Any comments before the race, guys?
Petey: I WILL CRUSH YOU ALL!
Boomer: Really, I think that we have no shot of winning. Realistically, Iggy and Larry are much more popular than Petey, sans tourists that are fans of him or have his name in a pun. Wario, as said in Morton's Bios, always does well in sports competitions, and Waluigi is... well, fast and hard to hit. If we win, we'll have our work cut out for us. I’m just hoping for a world-class vacation or something, like Lemmy and Ludwig got.
The Dryest Bones: And, currently in second place, is Team Head, Iggy and Larry! This dynamic duo was able to come into the race late at the expense of Yoshi and Birdo, and through their combined speed and trickery, they've usually come out on top. They've come to the brink of elimination before, but they have outwitted, outplayed, and outlasted even the most powerful of foes (i.e, Bowser and Lemmy). Any comments?
Larry: We're going to win. Between our speed, strength, careful maneuvering, and strategic placement, there is no way we can lose!
Iggy: Yeah... we'll win. We're now the only two Koopalings in the race, and Lemmy and Ludwig were the only two to start with. With them gone, I don't think it's possible for us to have any real competition.
The Dryest Bones: And dragging up the rear is... two complete idiots! It's Wario and Waluigi of Team Garlic! This team has come in second-to-last in almost every leg so far, and have stayed in the race only because of Wario's strength, Wario's cunning, and Waluigi's luck of insanity. Any comments?
Waluigi: I'M SCARED OF COMMENTS! WHICH IS WHY I'M SCARED RIGHT NOW! WAAAAAAAAAHHH!
Wario: Uh... We're-a gunna win, for the reasons that the Boomerang Guy said.
The Dryest Bones: It's a Boomerang BROTHER. Boomerang Guy will probably be some kind of ridiculous Shy Guy in the future...
Shyper: LIKE ME!
The Dryest Bones: But, with all of my limited seriousness intact, teams have rested at some of the most epic and amazing places!
Lord Crump: What is this, a recap show or the finale?
The Dryest Bones: I need to cram it into two hours of programming, though we'll probably miss that mark by an hour or two. ANYWAY, racers have gone everywhere from Red Brief Volcano to Luigi's Mansion and even through Lemmy's Land. And we have even more amazing prizes, ranging from a pair of briefs to a rock to several Wriststrong bracelets! But now, I have left the fruits of my labor to The Amushroom Race's many fans! What do we have, like four now or something?
Lord Crump: Sounds about right.
The Dryest Bones: And, just to show my appreciation, we're cramming every last challenge they could possibly think of into one ultra leg extravaganza! It's a collaboration of the ultimate tourist ideas into whatever extremely long subtitle I had at the top of this page!
Lord Crump: You're not making them feel special that their idea got in over others...
The Dryest Bones: Better than getting hate mail! And now, here to help me with some extra predictions...
Lord Crump: The race still hasn't started yet, and we've wasted at least a page or two.
The Dryest Bones: PLEASE WELCOME MY ANALYSTS! First, the master of almost getting Peach to marry him and the guy who lets me live in his house! Give it up for FRANCIS!
Francis jumps in, trying to look like a Jedi or something. He even has one of those fake laser-sword things. However, he falls flat on his face and hits himself in the head with his plastic memorabilia.
Francis: AAAH! I GOT DUST ON MY ULTRA-COLLECTABLES!
The Dryest Bones: And, one of the stars of my not-so hit single "Monsterpiece", a hero that only I recognize half the time, give it up for DONKEY KONG!
Cannon fire is heard in the background. Suddenly, DK falls onto the stage and makes a huge crater.
Lord Crump: This is a SERIOUS waste of time.
The Dryest Bones: So, who do you think has a shot today?
DK: (in a clearly edited voice) Well Dryest, I'm putting my money on the underdogs, Petey and Boomer. No seriously, I made a bet with Roy and stuff... but anyway, it always seems in competitions that either the underdog will win, or Yoshi will win. Yoshi's gone. So, that's where my vote goes. Plus, Petey is HUGE!
Francis: Well, in my opinion, you can't rule out Wario and Waluigi. Though I know you loathe them, Waluigi's insane luck has always caused them to stay out of murky water. They'll do the same today.
The Dryest Bones: And there you have it! And now, without further adeu...
Lord Crump: FINALLY!
The Dryest Bones: Crump will recap the last episode!
Lord Crump: Wha? You mean you finally realized the best part of the show?
The Dryest Bones: You're right, and the best part is the race. So, I'm just going to say that last leg, they went through Lemmy's Land, there were Roy's Sports Hall, Ludwig's Quizzes, and Lemmy's Mazes challenges, and Lemmy and Ludwig were eliminated. ON WITH THE RACE!
Lord Crump: I'll never win.
However, all of the teams are asleep from the insanely boring and loooooooooong intro.
The Dryest Bones: JUST WAKE UP, OR I'LL DOUBLE THE DRYEST BONES' SPECIAL!
Petey: You have to explain what that is to us in order to make us feel threatened.
The Dryest Bones: The Dryest Bones Special, noun, a secret event or area snuck into the last leg of a gameshow to both prolong the ending and torment the contestants. Synonyms: Inhumane Torment, Eye-burning. Sentence: I would rather die than go through The Dryest Bones Special. Quoted from the Lemmy's Land-tionary.
All of the teams are suddenly up at a starting line.
The Dryest Bones: Well, since you all came in at similar times, I'll explain the premise to you: your clue is at the end of Level 1-1, as the first clue was. You'll all race off at the same time in a dramatic fashion, even though Wario got here late. Now, when I fire Lemmy's wand...
Lemmy: HOW'D YOU GET THAT?!
The Dryest Bones: Stole it off you while you were going through your back-rub in Noki Bay. Not that hard, really.
Lemmy: Fair enough...
Lemmy disappears to his vacation.
The Dryest Bones: Now, when I fire Lemmy's wand...
Waluigi: PLEASE DON'T FIRE IT! IT'LL SHOOT ME!
The Dryest Bones: No it won't. See, I'll fire it in the air...
Waluigi: BUT THEN IT'LL BOUNCE OFF A MIRROR OR SOMETHING, LIKE IGGY VS GAME GUY LAST LEG!
The Dryest Bones: (I am not paying myself enough for this.) I don't really care, Waluigi. Now, when I fire Lemmy's...
Waluigi: WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Waluigi deals an uppercut to The Dryest Bones, takes Lemmy's wand, and snaps it in half. He then beats it up with Goomba 1-1, throws a Whomp on it, and shoves it down Gourmet Guy's throat for good measure.
The Dryest Bones: Don't ask me how half of those characters got there... Look, just go. NOW!
All of the teams go running off. Well, Wario and Waluigi go running in the wrong direction, since Waluigi is too scared of the flagpole, and now Rudy isn't here for Wario to threaten him with. Petey and Boomer are flying ahead of Iggy and Larry, who are having difficulty getting past Goombas that want their autograph. However, the crafty Koopalings launch themselves into a pipe, sending them further ahead of Team Muddy. Boomer tosses a boomerang forward with all his might, but it misses Iggy and Larry pathetically.
Iggy: HA! YOU STINK!
Offended that Iggy didn't recognize that he took a shower at the Mario Bros' house, Petey clasps his leaves together. Suddenly, a huge tornado appears in between his leaves, where it is soon sent forward. Iggy and Larry have to dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge to avoid the swept up debris. However, they forget about the boomerang and...
WHAM! CLUNK! WHISK!
Boomer: Well, I have to say that your tornado's turn of events worked out quite well.
Petey: Well, it's the last leg. Not time to hold anything back.
Team Muddy - 1st at Flagpole
Petey: Woah, it's Freezies and Pipe Paths all race!
Boomer: THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
Petey: Well, it's a Lemmy's Land Freezie, so believe it!
The Dryest Bones: In this Freezie, teams must travel to Little Lemmy's Land. There, they must pick an award-winning Fun Fiction to participate in, and make things come up fortunately for the villain. For example, making Lemmy win in "The Freeze Gun" would be considered a victory in this challenge. If not, they have to choose another story. After they complete the challenge, they will meet back here, where the great tourist who came up with this idea, Blaze, will hand them their next clue.
Boomer: You're bigger, faster, and stronger too. Just go.
Petey: GOT IT! But first...
Petey flies over the flagpole and destroys the little castle on the other side.
Petey: HA! IT IS POSSIBLE TO GO OVER YOU AND NOT ENTER THE CASTLE! TAKE THAT, FLAGPOLE!
Boomer: You realize that we could've just walked around it the entire time.
Petey: Oh... Well... uh... BYE!
Petey flies off toward Little Lemmy's Land. He knows where he's going because there's a sign that says "To Little Lemmy's Land".
Somewhere back in the level...
Wario has finally gotten Waluigi in his greedy little hands, and is using him as a baseball bat to hit all of the enemies out of the park... er... level. Eventually, the Wario Bros make it to the tornado. What will Wario do now? What can Wario do?
Wario: I'll ram right through it!
... Idiot...
Wario: WAAAAAAAHHHH! THIS STUPID TORNADO WOULDN'T LET ME RAM RIGHT THROUGH IT!
And so, Wario was trapped in the tornado. But not Waluigi, who just...
Waluigi: I'M SCARED OF TORNADOES!
...ran away in the wrong direction.
Wario: HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE?!
Iggy: I'd be more worried about avoiding flying debris.
Wario gets hit in the face with a huge clump of ? Blocks. Suddenly, a Starman pops out.
Wario: OH YEAH! WARIO IS GREAT!
However, the Starman jumps out of the tornado... right onto a cowering Waluigi.
Waluigi: I'M SCARED OF MY NEWFOUND POWERS!
Waluigi randomly slaps behind his back really fast to get the superpowers off (don't ask me how he thinks that will work). Somehow, this creates a tornado spinning in the opposite direction of Petey's tornado. The tornadoes then collide, causing the two winds to strike each other. Both wind directions then balance, counter, and completely destroy each other. In other words, Waluigi blows up the tornado by randomly slapping it.
Larry: Hey! That wasn't so bad!
Larry is crushed by a giant ball of Brick Blocks.
Larry: ... Ow.
While Iggy tries to dig him out, Waluigi's invincibility wears off. Wario then carries Waluigi forward to the clue.
Team Garlic - 2nd at Flagpole
Wario: Oh yes... WARIO NEVER LOSES IN THE FIRST ROUND OF GAMESHOWS! AND-A LITTLE LEMMY'S LAND IS LOITERED WITH THEM!
Waluigi: I'M SCARED OF GAMESHOWS! WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Waluigi runs extremely quickly. Meanwhile, Petey is happily soaring through the sky.
Petey: Hm... Did that Double D guy's food challenge get in? Because that would be AWESOME! Hey... What's that?
Petey is, of course, referring to Waluigi, who is running at double his flight speed.
Petey: NO ONE MOVES FASTER THAN A SPEEDING PIRANHA PLANT! Even though that's only really seven miles per hour, but... SLUDGE SLEW!
BLEH!
Petey suddenly squirts out a giant heaping helping of sludge underneath Waluigi's feet. Waluigi is scared of the sludge, however, so he just runs faster. In fact, he's running so fast that the sludge is melting underneath his feet. The Swoopin' Stus inside the sludge are too scared of being melted to come out.
Petey: Aw #$%#.
Meanwhile...
Larry: I'm *gasp* out.
Team Head - Last at Flagpole
Larry: Is Bowser's Apprentice by CPF still in LLL?
Iggy: Yes it is, Mr. Short-Sentence.
Larry: All right, then this will be a... Wait, Mr. Short Sentence?
Iggy: Yeah.
Larry: Wow... that was.. .really lame. BYE!
Larry runs away from the lame group of Wario, Boomer, and Iggy. Soon, all three get into a heated battle over who's going to win.
Wario: (playing cards with the others) Got any threes?
A HEATED BATTLE! Work with me, people... It's the last leg for DAD's sake!
Boomer: Oh fine... Anyone bring their Koopa TCG cards?
Iggy: When don't I?
Wario: Whatever.
Waluigi - LLL Challenge
Waluigi runs up to a small wall of text.
Welcome to Little Lemmy's Land! This section is for- you know what?
Waluigi: NO! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT! WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Waluigi randomly runs into the first Fun Fiction he sees. Of course, this is unfortunate, because it's the favorite author that isn't Nintendo itself or Lemmy. You know what that means...
Chapter 45: Chef Torte Gets Cooked
Blah Blah Blah... Some stuff about a PAN OF POWER and Whomp... Ah, now HERE'S a good part!
"ZIS ist my masterpiece! I call it, Boom Bundt!!!" Chef Torte said. Suddenly, an unknown idiot fell from the sky. He was skin-and-bones, and would be otherwise unnoticeable if he weren't screaming. The stranger wore long, black overalls that ran through his tear-soaked body. Underneath his dark clothing was a single purple shirt with sleeves that clenched up against his well-stitched gloves. He looked up from where he fell: a piece of the cake. As he fearfully brushed off the delicious insides of the cake, Torte screamed. "MON DIEU! WHO IST THIS HIDEOUS CREATURE BEFORE MOI?!" Torte shouted, looking at Yoshi. The green dino shrugged his shoulders. Why Waluigi would ever come here was beyond him.
"Well, he ruined moi's evil speech! HE VIL BE PUNISHED!" Torte screamed, charging up the ultimate laser in his PAN OF PAIN for another round. Waluigi screamed at the sight.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Petey - LLL Challenge
Following Waluigi's idiotic tracks, Petey finally gets to Little Lemmy's Land. He comically trips over the small text and hits the big text with his huge head.
Petey: I hate Mondays.
The text suddenly changes. It now reads, "It's Wendenday".
Petey: Oh... Well, I'll just choose one of these Fun Fics at random. DAD I hope it's not The Good, the Bad, and The Torte... Eenie... meanie... minie... MO!
Petey enters a portal. He is inside an old building with mold growing out of the ceiling. Petey is (not very well) dressed like Roy Koopa. He is in front of Bowser, who is gazing into a non-working TV.
Petey: I wonder where I am?
Koopa Troop
Larry: I'm voting you off, Susan!
Susan: You love me!
Petey: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Morton: I thought you- Wow Roy, that was loud! You're even louder than I am when...
Petey slams his head against the wall as he realizes he's in Survivor.
Bowser: QUIET, ROY! I'M TRYING TO WATCH TV!
Wendy: You realize that nothing's on, right?
Bowser: SHUT UP! Hahaha... He got hit in the head with a fireball!
Petey starts slamming his head even harder.
Larry - LLL Challenge
Larry: All right, there are currently 64 entries in LLL, and most of them are either brutal wars or gameshows. Let's just pick... THIS ONE!
Larry runs through a portal. He is suddenly on top of a large building with his other six siblings. There is a strange Magikoopa in front of them all, with twenty-one disappointed minions, the most prominent of them being Fawful and Pokey. This is obvious because a huge audience is "Aw..."ing behind the two.
Larry: Hey! I remember this!
Maguskoopa: The final battle shall take place between Koopalings only. It is called...
FIGHT FOR THE TROPHY!
Maguskoopa: As you can see, we are in lovely Neon Heights, in front of the largest skyscraper on Plit! On the roof...
Larry: Look, I know the rules. We fight for the trophy for an amount of time designated by your timer. Last one holding the trophy wins ten points, and thereby the competition and King Dad's throne... which Roy never got anyway because of a lawsuit from Ludwig.
Maguskoopa: 0.0
Everyone Else: 0.0
Iggy: AW MAN! NOW I DON'T WIN AUTOMATICALLY!
Iggy begins kicking up random cans nearby.
Maguskoopa: Well, Larry said it. Just... GO!
All of the Koopalings go running toward the trophy, except for Larry, strangely, who is trying to dig a hole with his claws.
Maguskoopa: Hm...
Waluigi - The Good, the Bad, and the Torte
The deranged chef attempted to destroy his freaky foe with a few furious laser blasts from the PAN OF PAIN! Meanwhile, Yoshi noticed a duo on top of Boom Bundt. To the left floated a small Pyrosphere, looking really eager and not having a care in the world. To the right stood a giant candle, and at its top... PRINCESS PEACH! Yoshi's quest would soon end. However, he was interrupted by a slap to the face by Waluigi. The deranged chef laughed at his dino foe. "Even stick-boy here could best you! You're no opponent vor moi!" Torte taunted.
Waluigi just screamed, "WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"
"Emberiet! It is time!" Torte gleefully mustered.
"RIGHT!" Embert T. Podoboo gleefully cheered. One by one, the small Pyrosphere hopped around the cake, lighting the candles that came in his way. However, he also was melting the wax coating around the candles, revealing in large letters, "TNT".
Yoshi's eyes flew out at the sight of the giant exploding cake. "Vat, you didn't tink I called it Boom Bundt for nozing, did you? Oh vell, time is ze wasted ingredients... Goodbye!" Chef Torte chuckled. A small grappling hook then flew out of the legendary PAN OF PAIN and attached to a brilliant copter of Chef Torte's own design - it had his face on it. The deranged chef left his patrons in shock as he yelled, "AU REVIOR!"
Yoshi quickly ducked for cover. However, he was soon slapped off Chef Torte's tower by a screaming Waluigi. Yoshi fell and fell and fell until he hit a coconut tree, rendering the green dinosaur hero completely unconscious. And then...
KA-BOOM!
The entire top of Isle Soshi's volcano blew up in a flurry of pretty lights, fireworks, and huge explosions. Finally, they were all complimented by a huge firework that, when it exploded, displayed the hideous figure of Chef Torte. "Beautivul!" the deranged chef screamed as he danced along his helicopter.
Suddenly, Waluigi quickly emerged from the rubble. He was completely freaked out by the explosion of hugeness. So much, in fact, that all he could do was suck his thumb while in the fetal position. However, peace was short-lived, as Embert T. Podoboo jumped from the rubble onto the purple dude. "WOW! THAT WAS AWESOME! I didn't even know I could survive an explosion of evaporating proportions!" Embert laughed. "HEY BUDDY, YOU DEAD? YOU REMIND ME OF THIS ONE GUY..." Embert gossiped as Waluigi continued to rock himself with fear.
Petey Piranha - Survivor
Challenge
Lemmy: Welcome, Mario Gang and Koopa Troop! I hope you have had three pleasant days.
Lemmy is met with sixteen stares. Well, fifteen, actually, because Petey doesn't have any eyes.
Lemmy: Tonight's challenge is for... Wait, why is Petey Piranha on your team, Koopa Troop?
Bowser: What are you talkin' about, boy?
Wendy: Yeah, all I see is King Dad, the rest of the Koopalings, and Susan.
Larry (not the one in the contest; the Survivor one): I'M VOTING YOU OFF, SUSAN!
Susan: Aw... He really does love me.
Larry: ARG!!!
Lemmy: Look, I know you guys really tried hard, considering Petey's wearing shades and a T-shirt that says "I'm Roy Koopa. SERIOUSLY!" but that's obviously Petey Piranha.
Petey: THAT'S RIGHT!
Iggy: Nuh-uhhh!
Lemmy: Yeah-huhhhh!
Iggy: Nuh-uuhhh!
Lemmy: Yeah-huhhhh!
Iggy: Nuh-uhhh!
Lemmy: Yeah-huhhhh!
Iggy: Nuh-uhhh!
Lemmy: Yeah-huhhhh!
Iggy: Nuh-uhhh!
Lemmy: Yeah-huhhhh!
Iggy: Nuh-uhhh!
Lemmy: SHUT UP! For idiotic arguing, I'm just going to give up trying! Mario Gang wins immunity!
Peach, Wario, Waluigi, Yoshi... pretty much everyone on that team BUT Mario: NO!
Mario: I'M-A MARIO!
The King: Where's the bear?
Bowser: YES! THANK YOU, IGGY! NOW WE CAN VOTE OFF MORTON!
Iggy: But we lost matches...
Bowser: How do you know that?
Iggy: Lemmy's handing matches to the Mario Gang.
Bowser: And matches are helpful... how?
Iggy: They could be heated to open cans.
Bowser: ... All right, EVERYONE VOTE FOR ROY! Or so help me, I'LL DESTROY YOU ALL!
Larry: Nope, I'm voting for Susan.
Bowser, Tyrant: That Larry is REALLY starting to make me mad.
Susan, Pain-in-the-Neck: HE LOVES ME! HE REALLY, REALLY LOVES ME!
Lemmy: Koopa Troop, I'm bored and not wasting any time. Follow me to the top floor for Mass Massacre.
Mass Massacre
The Koopa Troop walks by slowly. There's a gong there that everyone hits for some reason. Of course, Bowser throws Petey and Morton into it, for good measure. Larry tries to do the same to Susan, but runs away from her acid kisses. After a few minutes of Susan chasing Larry around a campfire, Lemmy gets bored and shoots them with his Freeze Gun. He then melts their hands, so they can vote.
Lemmy: Well, everyone take a torch.
Bowser: What torch?
Lemmy: Oh... right, we forgot to order torches. All right, just take these Wriststrong bracelets and set them on fire. Then put them on.
Everyone glares at Lemmy as if he were Mario or something. Lemmy just smiles and puts them on for everyone, fire and all. There's a lot of screaming, obviously.
Lemmy: It's been three days. Petey, why are you here?
Petey: Some other contest.
Lemmy: Ah, the 52nd amendment...
Morton: Lemmy, bro, sibling, guy who's older than me, well since everyone but Larry and Susan are older than me I should just call you big bro, even though I'm bigger than you, but you have bigger sections in Lemmy's Land and I don't get why Susan's section got bigger than mine because I hate Susan just like we all do about as much as I hate fish and I hate fish a lot because fish taste fishy and that fishy taste does not taste good, just like Lemmy's cooking, no offense, but what was I talking about again, because I forget a lot and that's really bad because I learned that memory is the first thing to go, or was that control, because I'm still good at some video games and actually disassembled some controllers, and speaking of that Bob-ombs look weird when disassembled because they're all just metal and gunpowder even though Big Bob-omb didn't really have that much in him, but my point is that PETEY PIRANHA, WHO HAS GONE INTO MANY INTERVIEWS AND OTHER GAMESHOWS LIKE BOWSER'S APPRENTICE WHICH WAS GOOD AND SPAWNED OFF THE PUNNY NAME OF P.T. PIRANHA, IS NOT HERE! THAT IS ROY!
Of course, while Morton was rambling for approximately one... two... many lines, everyone else has already voted. Even Larry and Susan have voted somehow.
Lemmy: JUST SHUT UP AND VOTE, MORTON!
Morton goes to vote.
Morton: I'm voting for Roy because I hate how he didn't let us get matches because matches aren't as stupid as King Dad and won't melt cans and stuff because there was this one time...
Lemmy: SHUT UP AND GET BACK HERE!
Morton walks back. Lemmy then dashes to the vote container-thing and rolls to his normal spot.
Lemmy: Once the votes are read, the decision is final, and the Koopa or Piranha Plant...
Wendy: Seriously, Lemmy, it's just us Koopas.
Lemmy: FINE! The Koopa will be shot out of this cannon.
Lemmy reveals a gigantic cannon, at least twice the size of anything in Wario's Battle Canyon, standing right next to him and aimed for a Pizza Hut sign.
Everyone: CANNON?!
Larry (muffled under ice): IT'S COLD IN HERE!
Susan (also muffled): HE LOVES BEING STUCK WITH ME!
Lemmy: Yes, now let's shut up and vote. The first vote... Susan.
The camera rotates to Susan. She's frozen, but her eyes show that she really wants to destroy that camera. Larry just is rolling his eyes.
Lemmy: Second vote... Morton.
Morton cowers behind Petey, but Petey just slaps himself.
Lemmy: Third vote... What is this?
Lemmy is looking at a paper with the names Larry, Morton, Wendy, Iggy, Roy, Lemmy, Ludwig, and Susan scribbled on it.
Bowser: I wrote that!
Lemmy: First of all, you can't vote off more than one person. Second, I'm not eligible to be voted off! And third... WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO VOTE ME OFF?!
Bowser: Because you gave Mario matches!
Lemmy: But... fine.
Bowser: I vote Roy!
Lemmy: But ROY isn't HERE!
Bowser: YES HE IS!
Lemmy just slaps himself and looks into the voting thing.
Lemmy: All right, forget it. The fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh votes, as well as the first person voted off of survivor is... MORTON!
Morton slaps Petey on the back of the head.
Morton: THAT'S FOR NOT TAKING THE BLAME FOR ME, ROY!
Lemmy: Morton, the tribe has spoken. Drop your bracelet on the one you feel most responsible for your voting off, then head into the cannon.
Morton hits Petey on the head with his bracelet. Petey has to jump in water in order to cool down.
Lemmy: Morton.. .the idiots have spoken.
BOOM! Morton is sent flying through a Pizza Hut sign, leaving his image ripped through the cardboard. He then falls into lava pits, where Blarggs try to eat him.
Lemmy: Well, you losers have survived your first Mass Massacre. Everyone but Petey...
Everyone: HE'S ROY!
Lemmy: Fine... Everyone but Roy can leave.
Everyone but Petey does leave, even the cameraguy.
Lemmy: Jeez... If I had a nickel for every time that I had to do a rerun...
Petey: Wait, so you're the REAL Lemmy, and not just one of the idiotic clones that see everything as it's supposed to be in Fun Fictions?
Lemmy: No, I'm the clone Lemmy keeps when he goes on vacation. Well, you passed this Amushroom Race challenge. Go back to Level 1-1.
Petey: WILL DO! ... Say, how do I get down?
Lemmy: Good question, considering that we put up an electric fence for anyone who might be trying to jump off the building in case they didn't want to play anymore... I dunno. Just guess.
And so, Petey goes downstairs to find the exit to the building.
Petey: Hm... What's behind this door?
Petey opens the door and...
Whomp: WHOMP CRUSH YOU!
WHOMP'D!
Who voted for who?
Larry - Susan (Said he
would)
Bowser - Roy (Hated everyone,
but hated Petey/Roy for losing the matches most)
Morton - Roy (Lost Challenge)
Petey/Roy - Morton (Annoying
before vote)
Iggy - Morton (See above)
Wendy - Morton (See Petey/Roy)
Susan - Morton (You know
the drill)
Ludwig - Morton (Ate
his chocolate bar before Survivor began... and see Petey/Roy)
Larry - Once and For All
Roy steals the trophy
0:04... 0:03... 0:02...
Roy: I DID IT! I...
0:01...
Roy: AM THE…
Suddenly, Larry bursts out of the ground in front of Roy. He then nabs the trophy straight from his hands, all in less than a second.
Larry: Loser!
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Maguskoopa: AND LARRY IS THE WINNER!
Larry: As it should be...
Roy: You're getting such a beating when you get home!
Maguskoopa: Let's check the standings:
Team Larry: 28 Points
Team Morton: 19 Points
Team Wendy: 23 Points
Team Iggy: 33 Points
Team Roy: 26 Points
Team Lemmy: 26 Points
Team Ludwig: 24 Points
Maguskoopa: AND, EVEN WITH HIS MIRICLE VICTORY, LARRY IS NOT THE CHAMPION! IGGY IS THE HEIR TO THE THRONE!
Larry: WHAT?! Then what was the point of me and Morton going through this whole ordeal?!
Maguskoopa: I dunno. We staged it for Roy to win, so we didn't expect…
Iggy (the one in OAFA, not TAR... ha, it spells tar!): WHAT?!
Maguskoopa: Whoops... That wasn't supposed to get out.
Everyone is trying to beat up Maguskoopa except Larry, who just slaps himself on the forehead. Bowser walks up.
Bowser: What's all this?
Larry: I won the challenge, but they...
Bowser: THEN YOU ARE HEIR!
Iggy: WHAT?!
Bowser: You all have traits of fair play and you obeyed a GAMESHOW HOST! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! At least Larry gets the fact of cheating!
Other Koopalings: Point taken.
Maguskoopa: HEY!
Bowser: Get outta here, Prince Larry.
Larry: FINALLY!
Larry speeds out of Once and For All. Well, it's more like he limps out, since the other Koopalings are trying to weigh him down. Meanwhile, Waluigi has finally escaped from the "ultra-scary" Embert T. Podoboo, and Whomp is running for no apparent reason with Petey in his mouth. Suddenly, Whomp falls forward, right onto Larry. Larry gets completely crushed, as does Petey. However, Waluigi is too scared of Whomp to take advantage of the situation, so he begins... chewing on his shoe. Eventually, The Dryest Bones has to send in the SWAT Meowmaids he got on a loan from Francis to pry Waluigi's shoe from his teeth and Whomp from a floor. The maids then drag the idiots back to Wario, Boomer, and Iggy... except for Whomp.
Wario: All right! My Dark Magician scores a touchdown on your Yoshi's Island!
Boomer: For the last time, THAT MAKES NO SENSE!
Blaze: Just shut up and take your clues!
Waluigi: I'M SCARED OF CLUES!
Waluigi runs around, randomly trying to hit Blaze, but failing miserably. Eventually, Waluigi faints from exhaustion, so everyone can take their clues.
Blaze: Hope you enjoy my Pipe Path!
Boomer: If it's yours, it must be the best thing on this show. Then again, that's basically like comparing Mario to The King: not much.
Blaze: HEY!
Iggy: It's a Pipe Path, as Blaze said, Dragon or Dragging.
The Dryest Bones: In Dragon, teams must travel to Barrel Volcano. There, they must battle the Czar Dragon in a difficult battle. After defeating the Czar, a random Chained Kong will hand them their next clue. This can be very difficult, but skilled fighters can finish this quickly. In Dragging, Blaze will instantly strap a Ball-and-Chain to their foot. Teams then must go to the location of the next Freezie. This could take a very long amount of time, considering the overwhelming weight of the Ball-and-Chains. However, they do skip a Freezie and don't have to battle a dangerous Czar Dragon.
Wario: LET'S BATTLE THE CZAR DRAGON!
Waluigi looks like he's screaming, but he's still unconscious. So Wario just drags him to wherever the nearest airport is.
Iggy: I wonder why airports haven't come up since the first leg...
Larry: We found more... creative ways. Or at least that's what the author wants people to think.
Iggy: Whatever. I think we can handle Dragging.
Larry: Better than fighting the Czar unprepared.
Blaze: GREAT!
Blaze straps Ball-and-Chains to Iggy and Larry. However, the chains are still rotating, making the Koopalings get a face full of metal ball.
Larry: HEY! YOU DIDN'T SAY THEY STILL SPUN!
Blaze: Tough noodles.
Iggy: Lame.
Blaze: Well, where are you going, idiots?
Petey: We're going to the Czar Dragon.
Boomer: Yeah... TO THE SUBWAY!
Petey: People still USE those?
Boomer: No lines.
Petey: Point taken.
Petey and Boomer run off toward a subway.
Blaze: All right, guys, your designated area is Yo'ster Isle.
Larry: All right, let's go, Iggy!
Iggy is already waddling slowly toward Yo'ster Isle.
Iggy: HURRY -ow- UP!
Larry: I'M -ow- COMING!
Of course, since Level 1-1 is part of the Mushroom Kingdom, Larry and Iggy still have to go through Kero Sewers in order to get anywhere. And, of course...
Belome: YUM! SNACKS!
Iggy: Aren't you -ow- supposed to be -ow- in the back?
Belome: I learned that the closer I am to the entrance, the more food I can get that isn't dead. Now... FOOD!
Belome wraps his tongue around Larry and Iggy. After a second of sampling, he spits Larry and his Ball-and-Chain out, leaving Iggy and his metal ball inside.
Larry: What was -ow- that
about?
Belome: YOU TASTE LIKE
-ow- VEGETABLES! I -ow- HATE VEGETALBES! AND EVEN THOUGH -ow- THIS GUY
IS REALLY -ow- HURTING ME, HE -ow- TASTES LIKE -ow- ICE CREAM!
Larry: GIVE HIM -ow- BACK!
Belome: Stick for a -ow- body, Head full -ow- of straw, Give -ow- me a scarecrow, -ow- RAH! RAH! RAH! Ow!
Larry is turned into a scarecrow. His ball is still hitting him, though, and he looks like he's in pain the entire time.
Belome: Now time to -ow- finish this guy in -ow- the digestion chamber -ow! But -ow- first...
Belome used Aurora Flash! Larry is now asleep! Larry is now set on fire!
Belome: Good enough... ow!
Belome walks down deep into the sewers, to an area he calls "the digestion chamber". He knocks out all of the enemies on the way with his Ball-and-Chain, now hanging out of his mouth.
Team Garlic - Some Airport
Wario barges into the "Lemmy's Land International Airport". However, those trash can-headed policemen from Mario Power Tennis are lying around.
Policeman 1: THERE ARE THE GUYS WHO GRAFFITIED MARIO!
Policeman 2: AND NOW THEY JUST KNOCKED OUT A LOT OF IMPORTANT PEOPLE!
Wario turns around, seeing Waluigi on top of Waluigi's Twin, Maguskoopa, Rachelle, Chef Torte, P.T., Crazy Packers Fan, and multiple other tourists whose names escape me.
Wario: Aw bankrupt.
Policeman 1: What is it with lame puns this leg?
Policeman 2: Wait, you mean we're on TV?
Policeman 1: Duh. This is that stupid racing show. That's how we knew the Wario Bros would be here, remember?
Policeman 2: Your head is funny-looking.
Policeman 1: HOW DARE YOU?!
Not realizing that his head is the exact same as Policeman 2, Policeman 1 begins beating Policeman 2 to a pulp. They just continue to beat each other up, since there is no one there to stop them. Wario is in the middle of a crowd, chanting at them with "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" And Waluigi, of course, is still unconscious. As if on cue, Scruffy the janitor walks up, mistakes Waluigi for a plunger, and starts cleaning out the toilets with him.
Wario: HEY! THAT'S-A MY MOP... I MEAN BROTHER!
Wario tries to rush after Scruffy, but has to stop because Scruffy enters a room that says "Women's Bathroom" with a bad wig on.
Wario: DANG IT! CURSE ME HAVING TO BE FAMILY FRIENDLY!
Wario just bangs his arm on the ground, waiting for Waluigi to come out.
Team Muddy - Subway
Petey: Let me guess... We're in that lame sandwich shop.
Subway Patron: Eat fresh!
Petey: What'd I tell you?
Patron: Where would you like to go?
Petey: Wha?
The camera pans out, revealing a Subway shop. However, there's also a large subway track in the back with a train looking like a meatball sandwich.
Boomer: 0.0
Petey: Is the train edible?
Patron: I think so.
Petey: Uh... What's the longest path to Barrel Volcano?
Patron: Well, first you go underwater through a warp gate to the Pokemon World, and then...
1,234 different locations later...
Patron: And then you get to Barrel Volcano, right underneath the Czar Dragon... Hello?
Petey is just standing there. He has drooled so much out of how delicious the trip sounded that everyone is actually standing waist-deep in saliva. Boomer is sleeping on a raft made out of lettuce.
Patron: I'll take that as a yes!
The patron shoves Petey and Boomer into the subway train and closes the door (a tomato). The meatballs then start rolling off at an extremely fast pace. Boomer is flung into a cushiony meatball, while Petey has a sudden realization.
Petey: Subway isn't as good as Quiznos! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Five hours later...
The Dryest Bones: Er... Belome is still trying to find the digestion chamber, while Iggy is trapped in his mouth. Larry is still a scarecrow...even though he's pretty much just a burnt stick right now. Wario has beat his arm so much that it's numb, so he beat his head until he was unconscious, and now Waluigi has dropped on top of him. And Petey and Boomer are somewhere, riding in a disgusting sandwich.
Petey: ARG! WHERE ARE WE?!
Suddenly, Petey is hit by a missile and several lasers. He turns around, revealing the giant Donkey Kong robot from Donkey Kong: Barrel Blast.
Petey: THAT ROBOT FROM COSMIC HIGHWAY?! HOW CAN A SUBWAY GO INTO OUTER SPACE?!
The Dryest Bones: So... uh... stay tuned! Maybe someone will actually go somewhere!
Start Commercial
Yoshi: Buy Yoshi Cookies and feed them to Yoshis! Only at Yo'ster Isle! Five hundred dollars per ticket!
Boshi: Yo'ster Isle is not responsible for you getting ripped off or eaten.
End Commercial
Iggy - In Belome's Mouth
Iggy: YEAH! TAKE THAT, TOUNGE!
Iggy has been wrestling Belome's tongue for the last five hours. However, he doesn't realize that the tongue went numb after the first hour. And yet, he was almost defeated eighteen times.
Iggy: Hm? What's that thing... IT LOOKS LIKE A PUNCHING BAG!
Belome finally walks into the digestion chamber... which looks like a shrine to Princess Daisy.
Belome: Oh my -ow- love, I have -ow- another sacrificial dinner -ow- in your na... Oh -ow- crud...
BLEH!
After punching Belome's uvula, Iggy ejects himself from the beast's mouth, leaving behind several ugly pieces of meat, Dried Shrooms, and what appears to be a Mokura.
Belome: I -ow- thought it was -ow- a...Nimbian -ow!
Belome faints from being beat up by Iggy, the Mokura's stench, and the Ball-and-Chain beating him up for the past five hours.
Iggy: ALL RIGHT! I'M -ow- FREE! DANG IT! CURSE -ow- THIS BALL-AND-CHAIN! OW!
After multiple journeys through random chambers and sewer passages, Iggy finally reaches the exit. Unfortunately...
Iggy: This looks familiar...
Iggy is looking at Larry, who is basically a burnt stick with a Larry mask at this point.
Iggy: LARRY! -ow- HERE! LET ME -ow- EXORCISE THE SCARECROW -ow- OUT OF -ow- YOU!
Iggy puts on a large robe. He then goes to www.randomchantsthatworked.com, and finds an exorcism.
Iggy: Hullabaloo and -ow- Howdy-doo, Musty -ow- Prawns and Timbuktoo. Yeltsy-Bye and -ow- Hibbity-Poo -ow-, Kick 'em in the Dish pan, hoo hoo hoo! ... Wait, what -ow- was that last part?
By a miracle, Larry reverts to a slightly-burnt Koopa again, while a scarecrow-like ghost floats away.
Iggy: This is getting more like the lame first five legs by the minute...
Iggy starts carrying his burnt brother through the sewers, having fully escaped Belome. However...
Big Boo: BOO!
Iggy: Lame.
Big Boo: YOU'RE MEAN!
Big Boo leaves. However, he comes back with a huge mob of Lil' Boos.
Lil' Boo: This the guy?
Big Boo: Yeah... HAUNT HIM!
Iggy starts running with a huge mob of ghosts chasing him. Eventually, Larry wakes up and starts running, too.
Larry: WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Iggy: I CALLED HIM LAME!
Larry: Oh... That's lame.
Team Garlic - Lemmy's Land International Airport
Eventually, Waluigi wakes up. However, he is so scared of being unconscious, and whatever might be on his chewed-up shoe, that he slaps Wario until he wakes up.
Waluigi: I'M SO SCARED, WARIO!
Of course, Wario is too dazed to understand what's happening.
Wario: Well, there's a first time for everything, Waluigi...
Waluigi: I'M SCARED OF YOU BEING DAZED!
Wario: Daisy? Oh yeah... We have to save her! Come on... to Barrel Volcano!
Wario somehow drags Waluigi into a plane that looks eerily like the Sky Pop. He then tries to drive. However, since he's tired and dazed, he thinks that you drive by eating the pilot stick-thingy. Eventually, he crashes into Land's End, because it's very, very large and Wario is flying very, very low. The explosion of the plane brings him back to his senses.
Waluigi: I'M SCARED OF YOUR SENSES! THEY OFTEN BEAT ME SENSELESS!
Wario: Oh, just shut up and go.
Wario throws a Bambino Bomb he stole at some point or another at Waluigi. It sends Waluigi soaring up to Nimbus Land.
Mallow: ICK! IT'S ANOTHER ROBBER! AND HE'S REALLY DISGUSTING!
Waluigi: Hey, I just bathed sixteen months ago... BUT I WAS SO SCARED OF THE WATER!
King Nimbus: KILL IT, SON!
Waluigi: But I'm SCARED of death!
Suddenly, a Greaper, Glum Reaper, and my most hated enemy ever, the Grim Reaper from Kid Icarus, appear behind Mallow... well, at least to Waluigi.
Waluigi: WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
And with that, there is one less coward in the world. Well, actually it is because of a thunderbolt combining with another one of Wario's bombs to create an atomic explosion that wipes out Nimbus Land, but you get the idea.
Wario: WALUIGI! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Waluigi revives inside Bean Valley as Dry Waluigi.
Wario: Well, that was a ripoff. THAT WAS SUPOSSED TO BE AWESOME! AND DRAMATIC AND STUFF!
Wario keeps on beating up Shy Aways until they carry him to Barrel Volcano. Wario then takes out a Fishing Pole that he beat off a Lakitu (yet never used for this entire race) to pick up his brother.
Waluigi: I'M STILL SCARED OF MY BONES!
Wario: Oh, for the love of Grambi, not now...
Eventually, all of the Shy Aways’ backs break, causing them to drop the Wario Bros. right inside the volcano... at the Czar Dragon, actually.
Czar Dragon: Duh... You look nice and plump... and TASTY!
Waluigi: What? Who? Me? No, look, I'm just... er... bones! Wait a minute... I'M SCARED OF BONES! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
Wario: Well, good to know Waluigi's complete imbecility is down. As for you... BRING IT ON!
Czar Dragon lunges at Wario with his flaming fangs bared. However, Wario just punches the Czar in the nose, causing him to roll over in pain... right over the Wario Bros.
Wario: OW! HOT! HOT! HOT!
Waluigi: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!
Team Head - Midas River
Iggy: Well, it's -ow- convenient that we -ow- weren't completely swept away -ow- by that flood.
Suddenly, all of the Boos go outside. But they're not used to the sunlight, so they all burn up from intense light.
Larry: That's -ow- awfully convenient. Now -ow- what?
Tadpole: RIDE ON BARRELS! NOW!
Suddenly, Donkey Kong starts throwing barrels at Iggy and Larry. A few of them shatter on their Ball-and-Chains, but most of the barrels hit their head.
Iggy: Why is -ow- Donkey -ow- Kong -ow- here -ow?
Larry: Probably to -ow- save on -ow- money.
Tadpole: JUST JUMP ON THEM AND ROLL DOWN THE RIVER!
Larry and Iggy try to jump on the barrels. Though they'd usually be able to do it easily, the Ball-and-Chains are really messing with their jumps, causing them to miserably crash their faces into the water. Eventually, both get on a barrel. However...
Larry: What the -ow!
The Ball-and-Chains are so heavy, when they swing around, the barrel breaks completely. Iggy and Larry then have to avoid a wall of bloodthirsty tadpoles by swimming back to Donkey Kong, all the while getting hit by barrels.
Iggy: I THOUGHT -ow- YOU WERE SUPOSSED -ow- TO BE -ow- PEACEFUL!
Tadpole: That's before we learned about money!
Suddenly, a background of random coins appears behind the Tadpole as he starts to ramble. Feel free to think that the "Money" song is playing in the background.
Tadpole: Those Frog Coins are worth MILLIONS! We have finally sold them all! And that has made us strong! So now, we're doing two things at once: torturing our visitors with our new power and shaking them down! It's Wario's dream! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Of course, Iggy just knocks out the Tadpole with his spiked ball. The rest get scared and float away.
Iggy: He was -ow- annoying.
Larry: Agreed... OW!
Donkey Kong: Donkey no care about this job. Donkey have to race now!
DK suddenly throws down a barrel with a jet on the side. It has the markings of the Kremling Krew over it.
Larry: Isn't that -ow- K. Rool's?
DK: BYE!
DK takes two jets shaped like bongo drums and boosts away.
Larry: Again, just -ow- as lame as the -ow- first five -ow- legs!
Iggy: Let's just -ow- go with -ow- it!
Iggy and Larry steal K. Rool's ship. Surprisingly, the barrel jet holds, and Iggy and Larry are able to drift down the river. Unfortunately...
Iggy: I CAN'T -ow- GET OUT!
Larry: WE'RE -ow- STUCK!
Iggy: YOU'RE IN -ow- FRONT! START -ow- THE ENGINE!
Larry: IT'S -ow- NOT WORKING!
Iggy: Aw... ow.
The barrel then hits a rock, causing it to flip over. Iggy and Larry are forced to hold their breath as they slowly drift into Tadpole Pond.
Frogfucius: Well... this is interesting.
Frogfucius takes the barrel out of the water, revealing two out-of-breath Koopalings.
Frogfucius: HOLY MEGA MUTH! They need mouth-to-mouth.
Ew...
Team Garlic - Fighting the Czar Dragon
Well, they're actually not really "fighting" the dragon. It's more that Wario is getting pummeled by Helios while Czar Dragon slowly chomps down on Waluigi's arms.
Waluigi: So... much... painful... scary... pain.
Suddenly, multiple Vomers walk up.
Vomer: HOLD ON, FELLOW UNDEAD ONE! WE SHALL SAVE YOU!
All of the Vomers begin beating on the Czar Dragon, while the skeletal Waluigi somehow is able to put the Helios out by breathing on them. Wario then joins in on beating up the Czar. Of course, it's Wario's breath that finishes off the dragon.
Czar Dragon: Duhhh... SO AWFUL!
The Czar Dragon begins rapidly beating his head on the volcano wall until he eventually gets knocked out and falls into the lava below. The Chained Kong with all of the clues then looks down into the flames.
Chained Kong: He looks dead enough. Well, uh... I guess you can have your-
???: NOT SO FAST!
Predictably, Zombone comes back up from the steaming hot flames.
Vomer: HAIL THE UNDEAD ONE! THE BETTER ONE!
All of the Vomers begin worshiping Zombone.
Zombone: Pathetic fools…
Suddenly, Zombone causes a huge explosion to destroy all of the Vomers. Their bits and pieces begin flying down in a fiery rain of-
Wario: WE GET IT! IT'S DRAMATIC! Sheesh...
Zombone: You cannot win... I will make your death quick and painless, fat one, as you are a worthy rival. The undead one, however, will NOW LEARN THE TRUE MEANING OF SUFFERING!
Wario: FAT?!
Waluigi: Hold that ultra-scary thought...
Suddenly, all of time freezes as the "Less than 100 time left" Super Mario Bros. theme starts playing. Waluigi begins running all across the Mushroom World at neckbreaking speed. He storms straight through E. Gadd's lab, trying out every invention he can find. Eventually he leaves, still in skeletal form. He then storms into Ludwig's room, yet still with no success. However, before he leaves Bowser's Castle, he goes into Lemmy's room and starts playing Mario Party 8. The music temporarily stops.
Waluigi: Oh COME ON! Birdo cheats so bad!
Waluigi then sets down the Wiimote in fear and runs off, the music playing again. Waluigi storms into Fawful's Badge 'N Bean, and tries to devour all of the items in stock. Eventually, he finds a potion that restores him to life. Waluigi then kicks Fawful in the back of the head, followed by a hailstorm of punches. Waluigi finally runs back to the battle, completely alive and well. He's now panting, though. Waluigi then snaps his fingers, the music goes away, and time resumes.
Wario: WOAH!
Waluigi: DOYOUSEEANUNDEADGUY?IDON'TSEEANUNDEADGUY! *pant, pant, wheeze*
Meanwhile...
Fawful: WHY DOES MY HEAD HAVE THE PAIN OF A BULL GETTING BURNT BY THAT WHICH IS A METAL OF THE FLAMING HOT VARIETY?! THIS COOKIE OF PAIN SHALL BE MY COMPLIMENT TO MY DINNER OF HATRED! I HAVE FURY!
Back in Barrel Volcano...
Zombone: ENOUGH! THIS FOOLISHNESS HAS GONE ON FOR LONG ENOUGH! PREPARE TO DIE!
Suddenly, huge storm clouds begin swirling around Barrel Volcano, creating a large funnel. Lightning strikes around the volcano randomly, making the scene really menacing. Zombone is now in the center of it all, completely shaded to make him look as menacing as possible. Electricity then strikes him, causing his inner eyes to flash in an evil electric glare.
Zombone: BEHOLD! THE FINAL AND MOST PAINFUL CHAPTER OF YOUR LIVES!
Wario and Waluigi are just hugging each other, hoping for a way out. Of course, Wario's life then starts flashing before his eyes, so he starts hallucinating that he's dancing in a field of money singing show tunes. The camerapeople begin laughing awfully, but then start bailing as soon as they... Oh crud, there goes the picture.
Bzzt!
...
...
...
...
...
PICTURE BACK!
We now see that Zombone is smashed underneath a half-eaten meatball sandwich. There's a large hole in the center of the volcano, and the storm clouds are gone. Waluigi is shocked from fear, and Wario and Chained Kong have their jaws dropped open from amazement. Petey and Boomer then come out of a meatball.
Boomer: That was a good nap... Oh, hey guys!
Of course, everyone in Barrel Volcano is either shocked or dead, so no one answers Team Muddy.
Petey: Whatever.
Petey just takes one of the clues Chained Kong is holding. The monkey is too shaken with awe to notice.
Petey: A Freezie? Again? This is becoming lethal...
Boomer: All right, all we have to do is dumb stuff!
The Dryest Bones: Teams must travel to Grate Guy's Casino, where people who don't like the wilderness but are in gameshows like to hang out. While there, they must find Grate Guy and defeat his new set of 20 microgames. After defeating his boss game, Grate Guy will give that team the instructions to the location of the tourist who thought of the idea, Waluigi Koopa, who will hand them their next clue.
Boomer: What did you do last time?
Petey: Why?
Boomer: I want to know how much you suffered. If I think you've suffered worse than me, then I'll go.
Petey: Survivor.
Boomer is already running up the side of the volcano.
Petey: Oh well...
Petey goes to lounge at Hinopio's Inn.