Leg 10, Part 2
Team Head - Rose Way
Iggy: That... was... ow....
Larry: Don't... ow... say.... anything... ow.
By now, Iggy and Larry are limping, completely beat from the Ball-and-Chains.
Iggy: Where are -ow- we?
Larry: Rose... Way...
Suddenly, Iggy and Larry faint. Crooks and Shy Guys begin swarming and raiding their things.
Crook: SWEET! I GOT HIS CREDIT CARD!
The thieves start walking away, when they suddenly are grabbed by a giant vine.
Shy Guy: What the...
It is revealed that Larry is standing straight up, watering a very large Snapdragon with a watering can. Iggy is standing right next to him, both looking healthy as ever.
Crook: HUH?!
Larry: HA! WE JUST -ow- FOOLED YOU! AND -ow- NOW YOU'RE -ow- IN FOR IT!
Crook: Pleasedon'tkillme, I'lldoanythingyouwant!
Iggy: Well, there -ow- is one thing -ow...
Shy Guy: ANYTHING!
Seven minutes later...
Crook: HEAVE!
Shy Guy: HO!
Five Crooks and six Shy Guys are hauling the two Koopalings' Ball-and-Chains while they lounge on a raft of... coins? The chains are now immobile thanks to some super glue on the raft.
Iggy: Oh... Now my black eye is healing.
Larry: Bruises... They're all shrinking!
Crook: HEAVE!
Shy Guy: HO!
Larry: Wait, no resistance?
Crook: Nah, we're just really nice people who are so thankful that you saved our pathetic existence so we can live to steal again!
Iggy: Fair enough, even if the excuse was pathetic.
However, it's not like a group of thieves know any common sense in the Forest Maze, so once they get to a fork in the road...
Crook: LEFT!
Shy Guy: RIGHT!
Iggy: You know the way?
Larry: I thought you did!
Iggy and Larry stare at each other, then slap themselves on the head.
Team Garlic - Barrel Volcano
Wario and Chained Kong finally snap out of their shock. Wario, of course, realizes that there's a giant sandwich in the room and eats it. A few minutes later, he comes back to Chained Kong. Zombone is nowhere to be found
Chained Kong: Uh... I guess Zombone's gone so... uh... here's your clue.
Wario snatches the clue.
Wario: Freezie… Oh Waluigi!
Somehow, Waluigi is still unconscious.
Wario: DARN IT! Wait... It's at a casino... OH YEAH! WARIO TIME!
Wario chomps down a clove of garlic from his overalls. The yellow-garbed plumber then blows a huge hole through the wall of the volcano with his fist alone. Wario dusts it off with a brush made of gold, and then dashes through several walls until he gets to Bean Valley.
Chained Kong: That guy's going to destroy us all someday...
Boomer - Bean Valley
Boomer: All right, so... Where is that casino? Something about a Chomp Chomp and knives... THAT'S IT!
Five minutes later...
Boomer: And now, ladies and gentlemen, I place this knife right... HERE!
Boomer is performing for a group of Smilaxes. He is juggling knives while playing with Chomp Chomp in two "Magic Boxes". There are already about seven knives in one of the boxes.
Boomer: And… I've run out of knives, so LET'S PUT IN THIS VENOMOUS SNAKE!
Audience: OOH!
Boomer suddenly opens the top of the box and pours in ten snakes, two Firesnakes, and Mad Adder.
Boomer: Shake before serving...
Suddenly, Wario barges underground to where Boomer is. He knocks one box into the other box, crushing both.
Boomer: And...
Boomer looks inside both boxes. Suddenly, his face becomes white, and he raises a sign that says "Is there a doctor in the house?" However, he hides it in his shell very quickly, just in case Dr. Mario is in the audience.
Wario: Wha... HEY! A MAGIC SHOW!
Wario tries to steal from Boomer, but fails miserably. Suddenly, Knife Guy walks up to Boomer.
Knife Guy: BRAVO! BRAVISIMO! Here, take this...
Boomer: YES!
Knife Guy: ...piece of mold as a token of my gratitude!
Boomer cowers in fear as Knife Guy pulls out a piece of mold from his robe. What's even more scary is that it's moving slightly...
Boomer: But what about Grate Guy's Casino?
Knife Guy: Grate... OH YEAH! That's why I'm here! All you have to do is play a game.
Wario: GREAT! Wario is-a great at luck games!
Knife Guy: Who said anything about luck?
Knife Guy turns around, revealing a TV, a Wii, and four Wiimotes in Zappers. The words "Zelda's Crossbow Training" are displayed on the screen. Suddenly, an animated Knife Guy sprite walks up on the screen and slashes it in half, revealing "Knife Guy's Target Practice". Images of Wario, Petey Piranha, and Lemmy are displayed with targets on their heads... or Lemmy's ball.
Wario: Wait, why is Lemmy on there?
Knife Guy: I was expecting him more than Iggy... BUT LET'S PLAY!
Wario and Boomer grab NES Zappers. Suddenly, a huge hand reaches out of the Wii, slowly reaching out. Boomer and Wario try to run away, but Knife Guy is able to make them come back by booby-trapping the warp pipe out of the cavern. Knife Guy jumps into the TV while Boomer and Wario are forcefully dragged in.
Team Head - Forest Maze
Crook: That's the same tree...
Shy Guy: How would you know?
Crook: IT HAS EXACTLY 6,253 LEAVES ON IT! WE'VE PASSED IT SEVEN TIMES! AND IT'S A REALLY BIG TREE!
Iggy and Larry are sleeping, having nothing better to do.
Crook #3: Um...
Crook: SHUT UP, NUMBER THREE! YOU'RE NOT SUPOSSED TO TALK!
Crook #3: But... uh... isn't the Pipe Vault in Rose Town?
Suddenly, Iggy and Larry wake up.
Iggy and Larry: WHAT?!
Crook: Oh yeah... Good job, Crook 3! You now have permission to steal video games!
Shy Guy: Uh... Which way is Rose Town?
Everyone: (pointing in a different direction) THAT WAY!
Iggy and Larry moan, but then try to fall back asleep.
Wario and Boomer - Knife Guy's Target Practice
Wario and Boomer appear on a desolate battlefield with lots of clones of Mario circling them. Actually, it's just Zelda characters with really bad Mario animation (ala Hotel Mario). Boomer catches on, but Wario is stumped. Suddenly, Knife Guy appears in a giant robot of himself.
Boomer: I'M PRETTY SURE THAT WON'T BE IN LINK'S CROSSBOW TRAINING!
Knife Guy: Just shut up! This cost me more money than it did to make Koopa Kart 64! Now, if you two aren't dead within the ten minutes of me chucking knives, then you win.
Wario: Then what's the point? What if we die?
Knife Guy: Well... that's your problem, isn't it? GO!
Suddenly, all of the Mario Moblins and other Mario-faced creatures begin charging forward. Though Wario and Boomer are able to avoid many of the idiot minions, Wario eventually trips over his elf-like feet. Boomer is quick to follow.
Knife Guy: 20 minutes left, fools!
Wario and Boomer are able to avoid knives by running around like idiots for the next 10 minutes. By the time that eight minutes remain, there are only five living things on the knife-strewn battlefield: Wario, Boomer, Knife Guy, King Bulbin (that ogre guy on a giant boar from Twilight Princess) dressed as Mario, and the idiotic cameraman... oops, there goes the cameraman. Well, let's see if we can still pick stuff up...
Knife Guy: DIE!
Well... it looks like Wario's feet are moving faster than a motorboat... Wish we could actually see through this camera, you know? I mean, it's just lying on the ground randomly and... OOH! King Bulbin just crashed on the ground in front of the camera! Great, now we have to look at an ugly guy with an even uglier costume. Oh, wait... wait... We got a new cameraman! And... Ooh! Boomer has about seventeen knives stacked on top of each other on his helmet, but he doesn't show any signs of breaking down! And Wario...
Wario: Shut-a UP!
Of course, Wario's breath, being under the influence of garlic, is so disgusting, it actually can melt. Thus...
Knife Guy: NO! NO! NO!
Robot: System overheating. Prepare for self-destruction...
Knife Guy: That's it. Game Over.
Suddenly, Wario and Boomer are thrown out of the TV and back into the underground version of Bean Valley. Knife Guy is there, too.
Knife Guy: That was actually somewhat good! Here, take this Bright Card!
Boomer: Gee, tha-
However, Boomer still has the knives stuck in his helmet. Being in an underground chasm, Boomer's head is stuck in the wall with a huge stack of knives on top. Wario just happily takes the card.
Wario: Oh yeah, Wario is GREAT! Now... how am I supposed to get to the casino?
Knife Guy: Don't ask me. I gave up on SMRPG after I couldn't beat Bowser.
Wario: HAHA! LOSER!
Knife Guy, in his anger, begins chucking knives at Wario. The clowns begin running around the room as Boomer tries to free himself.
Boomer: Now, if I just aim the trajectory just right...
Boomer tosses his boomerang perfectly, so that six of the knives drop from his helmet.
Boomer: YES!
However, Boomer realizes that he has been pinned to the ground by the scales, as the knives keep him down.
Boomer: CURSES!
Team Head - Rose Town
After about a half-hour of pure torment in the forest, the group leave. However, only Iggy, Larry, two Crooks, and the Shy Guy who actually talks have not been turned into Mushrooms by random Amanitas.
Crook: So... should we eat them?
Larry: You're suggesting eating your own men?
Shy Guy: They're Mushrooms. It's not like they won't taste good.
Iggy: True...
Everyone begins chowing down. However, Crook #3 eats a Poison Mushroom, causing him to perish due to various medical afflictions.
Larry: All right, so now that we all have 30 more Health Points, LET'S DO THIS!
Crook: Where's the entrance to the Pipe Maze?
Iggy: How should I know? Shouldn't you?
Shy Guy: We don't exactly steal from dinosaurs who guard themselves with complex paths, not to mention use cookies as money.
Larry: All right... Considering the author hasn't played Super Mario RPG in about ten years... let's walk in random directions!
However, walking randomly finally does not succeed in finding the exit.
Crook: *wheeze* You guys are... getting heavy…
Larry: Then just glue the Ball-and-Chains to your backs!
Shy Guy: Coin rafts are good!
Crook: All right, let's... go...
Crook walks six feet more, then faints.
Shy Guy: Should we all just give up?
Iggy: When has that worked before?
Shy Guy: The Mushroom Games, Week 5.
Larry: HAHA! NERD! YOU ACTUALLY MEMORIZED THAT?
Shy Guy: Just forget it! SHUT UP! *sob*
Shy Guy begins crying, followed by an unorthodox path of running. Fortunately, he goes so fast that he drags the raft along with him. Unfortunately, it's straight into the Pipe Vault.
Iggy: How is that bad?
Shy Guy then drags the group into the huge lake of bubbling lava at the start of the vault.
Larry: You have GOT to be kidding me... NOOOO!
Team Head then begins falling down at a rapid pace to the bubbling liquid.
Larry: NOT QUITE! SPY SHOT!
Amazingly, Larry pulls a grappling hook out of his shell, which immediately clamps onto the side of the pit of lava. The Koopalings and thieves swing over on the rope and crash into the wall. However, the force of the crash is too great for the unconscious Crook, and he plunges into the lava.
Shy Guy: CROOK!
Iggy: No worries.
A second later, Crook shoots up, his cloak completely set on fire. He goes flying out of the Pipe Vault and right into Moleville Mines.
Crook: JACKPOT!
Of course, as they slowly scale the grappling hook, Team Head faces its own problems.
Iggy: Coins... too... heavy…
Larry: JUST DUMP IT!
Shy Guy weeps as Iggy and Larry dump the raft of coins into the lava with their Ball-and-Chains. He begins to think of jumping after his precious, but perishes the thought after being smacked in the face by a Ball-and-Chain.
Iggy: Great, back to -ow- this pain.
Larry: Just a little -ow- while longer...
Of course, seeing that they're talking to a big wall of Thwomps and a row of Piranha Plants, the group quickly becomes discouraged.
Shy Guy: How did I get myself into this mess?
Wario and Boomer - Bean Valley
Boomer: Uh... A little help?
After what seems like an eternity of imbecility, Knife Guy finally faints out of exhaustion. Wario takes his Bright Card, but accidentally trips over a knife, freeing Boomer's hand. With his free hand, Boomer is able to slowly pry himself out of the ground and grab his own Bright Card.
Wario: OUTTA MY WAY!
Wario throws Boomer toward a wall. The Boomerang Brother then bounces off toward the ceiling and the ground, making his body fall up and down a total of three times. Wario then tries to ground pound on his victi, for good measure, but instead lands on an invisible platform. Wario just shrugs it off. Suddenly, his Bright Card begins glowing, and the path to the casino opens.
Wario: Is that how it happened in the game?
Don't know, don't care. Anyway, the evil plumber enters the gambling establishment, where there is someone dancing around on a ball.
Wario: LEMMY?!
LEMMY?!: No you dolt, I'm Grate Guy, the greatest magician and performer the world has ever known!
Wario: I heard that this Dimentio guy was pretty good, but whatever. I'm in the idiot race for money, what's the challenge?
Grate Guy: If you read the clue, you'd know it was microgames.
Wario: And The Dryest Bones picked Super Mario RPG characters... because?
Grate Guy: We were cheaper than Jimmy T. NOW BEGIN!
Suddenly, Wario and Grate Guy are transported to the WarioWare stage from Super Smash Bros Brawl.
Wario: Wha?
Grate Guy: Just shut up and listen!
The number 1 appears on a door with a pig on it. Suddenly, the entire screen changes...
DEAL!
Wario completely freaks out, not knowing what's going on. However, he is able to successfully throw cards in panic at random people at a poker table, which was the assignment. He is then transported to the door with the pig on it again, as it is smiling.
Wario: THIS IS MADNESS!
Grate Guy: No, THIS IS SPART... I mean, WARIOWARE! Oh, and you passed. Just do 18 more random things, then the boss.
Wario: Let me guess, there's going to be a transition right to the boss stage!
Grate Guy: NOPE! This is the last leg, and we're making it as long and boring as possible!
Wario: *moan* Please? GAH! THAT ACCURSED WORD! IT BURNS!!!
Grate Guy: Oh fine...
18 Microgames later...
BOSS STAGE!!!
Defeat!
Wario is completely unseen. The current world looks like an Earthbound battle screen.
Wario: What?
Suddenly, an extremely badly-drawn version of Bowser appears.
Poorly-Drawn Final Boss Appears! What will Wario do?
Wario: What? What is this?
Wario used "Help command". Poorly-Drawn Final Boss now thinks lesser of him.
Wario: HEY!
Poorly-Drawn Final Boss uses "BITE!" Wario narrowly dodges the attack!
Wario: How can I dodge if I can't see myself? Oh well...
Wario uses "Huge Shoulder Ram". Poorly-Drawn Final Boss is greatly injured!
Wario: Oh yeah, Wario is great.
Poorly-Drawn Final Boss uses "Kamikaze Explosion". Poorly-Drawn Final Boss is erased from existence. Wario is badly damaged!
Wario: Wait, how can I be damaged if I can't even see myself?
Wario wins!
END BATTLE!
Wario now reappears in Grate Guy's Casino.
Grate Guy: All right, here's your clue!
Wario: Thank yo... GAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Grate Guy: Oh yeah... Whatever pain you experienced in my WarioWare game... becomes real. Sorry! But, here's your clue.
Wario: Waluigi Koopa is on... YO'STER ISLE?!
The Dryest Bones: Teams must now travel to Yo'ster Isle. It is there that they will find their next clue.
Wario: All right... Wario... time...
Wario starts stumbling out of the casino and into Bean Valley. However, he falls onto Boomer just as the brother starts to get up, paralyzing him from the weight. Wario finally gets out of Bean Valley and into Barrel Volcano... where he falls flat on his face. A Corkpedite walks up to him.
Corkpedite: FORGET IT!
Corkpedite launches one of his corks at Wario, making him soar right next to Waluigi, who is still unconscious.
Team Head - Pipe Vault
Larry, Iggy, and Shy Guy are still struggling through the Pipe Vault, mostly because they got distracted on the Goomba Stomping game, and Thwomps hurt. Finally, they can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Iggy: Almost... there...
Larry: So... ow... close...
Shy Guy: Yoshi... Cookies... taste... good...
However, just before they get there, a Piranha Plant grabs Iggy's Ball-and-Chain. The carnivorous plant then begins dragging the rainbow-haired one down into a pipe.
Iggy: HELP ME, LARRY!
Larry: I'm... ow... coming... Ah, forget it... ow...
Iggy is dragged fearfully into a pipe. Lots of biting sounds are heard.
Larry: Gotta... ow... get ball... ow... off... foot...
Larry, being almost limp and having to mostly be carried by Shy Guy, finally makes it to Yo'ster Isle. Waluigi Koopa is waiting at the racetrack.
Waluigi Koopa: Well hello there, Larry... Say, where's Iggy?
Larry: Suffering... GET THIS -ow- FREAKIN' THING OFFA -ow- ME!
Waluigi Koopa: Fine... I'm on it. But you get no clue until Iggy's here.
Larry is freed from his Ball-and-Chain. He begins kissing his freed ankle.
Larry: Now to rescue-
Shy Guy: YOSHI COOKIES!
Larry: Well, maybe one...
Larry and Shy Guy begin porking out in a small hut filled to the grass roof with Yoshi Cookies. Meanwhile, in a warp pipe...
Iggy: HELP -ow- ME!
Prehistoric Piranha: GEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOUUUUUUUU!!!
Hundreds of Piranha Plants: CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!
Iggy: Owie... ow!
Boomer - Grate Guy's Casino
After a very long time of struggling with various Wario-inflicted injuries, Boomer finally limps into the casino.
Grate Guy: Welcome to... YEESH! YOU LOOK AWFUL!
Boomer: Challenge *ugh* now *choke* please.
Grate Guy: Woah there, buddy. I'll just give it to you for a lifetime membership.
Boomer: Fine... whatever...
Boomer signs a small contract that Grate Guy wheels out.
Grate Guy: GREAT! So, I'll be around to collect 100 coins every month and you'll gamble at least once every other month! Oh, and that's under penalty of death. HERE'S YOUR CLUE!
Boomer takes the clue, now wide awake from what he signed.
Boomer: Take your clue from Waluigi Koopa on... YO'STER ISLAND?! THAT'S ALMOST ON THE OTHER SIDE OF PLIT!
Grate Guy: Look, I'm just paid a ton of money to do this, I don't make it.
Boomer slowly trods off through Bean Valley.
The Dryest Bones - Where the Pitstop is
The Dryest Bones: JEEZ this is taking too long! I thought this was supposed to be two hours, not two days!
Lord Crump: Well, our ratings increased by 500 percent, so we kept it going.
The Dryest Bones: So... we now have what, like, 20 people wasting their lives watching this?
Lord Crump: Pretty much.
The Dryest Bones: THANK YOU, 20 PEOPLE!
Lord Crump: And on that note, we go to our second commercial break.
Start Commercial...s?
Bowser: THE KOOPA KINGDOM IS HAVING ANOTHER ELECTION, AND NOW I CAN'T RIG IT! VOTE FOR ME, OR YOU DIE!
Bowser for President is supported by the Bowser Fan Club and the "lolwut" society.
Whomp: Join Whomp's Whomp Club. We do Whomp stuff! OR ELSE WHOMP WHOMP YOU!
Yoshi: Yoshi STILL hungry!
End Commercials
Teams Garlic and Muddy - Barrel Volcano
Boomer has finally been able to make it back to Barrel Volcano through an extremely long and painful hike, not to mention being shot out of a Stumpet. A well-rested Petey flutters up to him.
Petey: HEY PAL, WHERE WE GOING, HUH?!
Boomer: Yo...ster... Isle...
Boomer faints right on the spot into Petey's leaves.
Petey: All right, let's go!
Petey takes out a Fire Shell he bought from the store, puts Boomer in it, and begins flying away. Meanwhile, the Wario Bros. start to wake up themselves.
Waluigi: WAAAAHHHH!!! IT'S A VOLCANO! THIS ISN'T A GOOD MORNING! AND I'M STILL SCARED OF MORNINGS! WAAAAHHHHH!!!
Wario: Well, it WAS a good nap from exhaustion... but, I guess you totally ruined it. ###### WALUIGI!
Waluigi: I'M SCARED OF YOU CURSING! AND WHAT'S EVEN SCARIER IS THE EDITING! BECAUSE IT DOESN'T SHOW THE INTENSITY OF THE CURSE WORD AND MAKES THE READER THINK IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN IT PROBABLY IS! WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Wario: Oh brother...
Wario uses his more idiotic brother as a battering ram to destroy a wall in the volcano.
Wario: One wall down, a million to go...
Suddenly, the Royal Bus falls directly from the sky... right onto Waluigi. Yet again, the plumber in purple is knocked unconscious.
Wario: Lucky...
And so, the Wario Bros. hijack the magical flying car. There is just one problem...
Wario: HOW DO YOU CONTROL THIS THING?!
Larry - Pipe Vault
After ditching the Shy Guy at the hut of cookies, Larry finally ventures back into the Pipe Vault.
Larry: Uh... How do I go down without being eaten?
Piranha Plant: Get gnawed on?
Larry: WELL THEN FORGET IT!
Larry just sends a large rope down toward wherever Iggy is.
Prehistoric Piranha: GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuoooo?
Piranha Plants: Chomp?
Iggy, now brimming with hope, climbs up the rope (somehow with the Ball-and-Chain) and escapes the Piranha Plants, who are too dumb to stop his escape.
Piranha Plants: Now what we chomp?
Prehistoric Piranha: GAROOOO!!!
Piranha Plants: NONONONONONONONO...
CHOMP!
Meanwhile, Iggy and Larry have reached Waluigi Koopa.
Waluigi Koopa: You're full of surprises, Iggy. I thought for sure that you had been eaten by Piranha Plants.
Iggy: What can -ow- I say? OW! I die hard...
Larry: This is... familiar.
Waluigi Koopa: Take your clue... any clue!
Iggy: All right, thanks!
Iggy takes a clue and is freed of his Ball-and-Chain. He then begins kissing his freed ankle more affectionately that Larry did... if that is physically possible.
Larry: ALL RIGHT! This is... boring. It's another Pipe Path: Tremble or Tumble.
The Dryest Bones: In Tremble, teams will have to travel deep within the deserts of Teehee Valley, and remain there for exactly three hours. After surviving the horrors of the desert for that amount of time, a Snifario will soar down and hand the teams their next clue. Though this is very time-consuming and requires a lot of endurance, intelligent teams might be able to finish with minimal damage. However, if a team leaves the desert even for a second, their time resets. In Tumble, teams must hike up the towering Thwomp Volcano. At its summit, Mr. and Mrs. Thwomp will hand teams their next clue. This is more of a brawn-oriented challenge than the alternative, but the Tanoombas and Thwacks may cause a lot of problems for distracted hikers.
Iggy: Great, a mountain of pain or a valley of it... Which one, Larry?
Larry: Definitely Tumble. We'll live longer, and it has no time limit.
Iggy: All right! So... how do we get to Thwomp Volcano?
Larry: Uh... Letsee... Southwest from Peach's Castle... Current position on the Isle of Yo'ster... IT'S THAT WAY!
Iggy: What way?
Larry: THIS WAY! JUST FOLLOW ME!
Iggy: Fine!
Iggy and Larry speed off to a cruiseship with Daisy's face on it. They then jump into the lower decks of the ship as stowaways.
Iggy: How do you know this goes to the Mushroom Kingdom?
Larry: Daisy Cruiser goes straight to Sarasaland. From there, we can steal the Sky Pop and fly right up the volcano.
Iggy: Smarrrt...
Teams Muddy and Garlic - The Sky
Petey eventually gets tired of flying, and decides to rest inside Sky Land's castle. Since he's a regular to the buffet that Roy holds, not to mention a Sports Hall Pro, the Iron Cleft guards let Petey into Roy's Castle. Boomer then wakes up.
Boomer: Ung... Where are we?
Petey: We're inside Roy's Castle. I flew us here just after you fainted and stuff.
Boomer: Where's Yo'ster Isle?
Petey: Just a few miles south. I just thought you could use some food!
Petey turns around, revealing a huge buffet, along with many female Lakitus and Hammer Sisters. (Clever, aren't I? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT WAS ALREADY USED?!)
Boomer: YES! YES!
Boomer gets down on his knees.
Boomer: Thank you DAD for what is definately THE best moment of my life.
Petey: LET'S EAT!
Petey and Boomer dig in, Petey being more interested in the food and Boomer being more interested in the girls. Suddenly, the Nimbus Royal Bus tears straight through the walls. Suddenly, the entire screen freezes, revealing Petey panicking while hiding a turkey under his leaves, Wario hitting his head on the bus's steering wheel, Waluigi hanging onto the back for dear life, and Boomer in a romantic kiss with a Hammer Sister. Then, everything starts up again. The other females are slapping Boomer, the Wario Bros. have successfully crashed through the castle, and Petey has eaten his turkey in one bite.
Boomer: Ow... Girls are strange!
Petey: (clueless idiot) HURRY! THAT WAS THE COMPETITION!
Petey takes Boomer into his mouth and launches him forward like a meteor hurtling toward Plit. Petey follows en route, folding himself into the shape of an asteroid. Petey and Boomer are able to gain far more momentum than the Wario Bros, and hit sea level first. Unfortunately, their sea level is actually in the sea, while Wario and Waluigi hit Yo'ster Isle... and Boshi. Croco jumps down from the stands.
Croco: YOU COULD'VE KILLED MY FRIEND! DIE!
Croco throws a Bambino Bomb at the Wario Bros. However, Waluigi is too hard to hit, and Wario was able to duck Matrix-style.
Croco: DARN IT! I HAVE THE WORST AIM!
The Bambino Bomb slowly begins rolling... and rolling... and rolling... right next to the Royal Bus. What's even more unfortunate is that fuel is leaking out the back... the wasteful, flammable kind. And, considering the bus went on fire from the meteor-like entry... er... well, the Bambino Bomb's fuse is lit while Wario and Waluigi keep fighting Croco and... I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!
KA-BOOM! BANG!
The entire Yo'ster Island explodes in a furious light show with even prettier sound effects. Fortunately for Waluigi Koopa and Shy Guy, the explosion doesn't kill anyone but Croco. Everyone lands in the nearby sea, where Petey and Boomer are busy fending off a swarm of Jelectros. Well, Wario and Waluigi just land in a pirate ship, but...
Jonathon Jones: TO DAVY JONES LOCKER WITH THE STOWAWAYS!
Bandana Reds and Blues: AYE!
Wario: Well Waluigi, prepare to get your guts kicked out by pirate sharks.
Waluigi: BUT I'M SCARED OF PIRATES! AND SHARKS EVEN MORE! AND WHY ARE YOU SO CASUAL?! THAT'S JUST SO CREEPY, IN FACT, IT'S SCARY!
However, as Waluigi says this, Wario is already rowing away in a lifeboat.
Wario: Good luck, Bro!
Waluigi: WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Meanwhile, Petey and Boomer have created a raft out of some random pieces of the racetrack. Raz, Rani, Waluigi Koopa, and Shy Guy are on another raft. As for the other Yoshis... well, let's just hope a tidal wave comes soon.
Waluigi Koopa: Well, after the complete destruction of Yo'ster Isle, you guys have finally made it to the clues! Here you go!
Boomer rips open the clue.
Boomer: PIPE PATH?! We'll never get a break...
Petey: I say Tremble, since I lived in the desert for a while.
Boomer: Since when?
Petey: Since Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time!
Boomer: I thought that was some other Petey Piranha, like your grandpa or father or something.
Petey: I live long. LET'S GO!
Boomer: One question. How?
Petey: Uh... all right, the S.S. Chuckola sank in decently shallow water near Gwarhar Lagoon, which is decently far away from Teehee Valley. So, all we have to do is located Gwarhar Lagoon and go from there.
Boomer: All right... Which way IS Gwarhar Lagoon?
Petey: ... I HAVEN'T EXACTLY FIGURED THAT OUT YET!
All of the Jelectros suddenly form the shape of a glowing neon arrow.
Boomer: Convenient... Let's go.
Petey: RIGHT!
Petey creates a small tornado inside the water to propel the boat forward, while Boomer rows with his boomerangs. The Jelectros slowly follow the boat, pointing it in the right direction. Of course, this takes a long while.
Team Head - Daisy Cruiser
Larry and Iggy are trapped between a crate of rotting melons and a barrel of explosives. Both are afraid to move so that they don't set off the TNT barrel. However, they suddenly hear a sound.
Iggy: What was that?
Larry: HUSH! We'll just lay low until we see what it is.
An extremely burly-looking Clawgrip walks down from the upper deck, holding a flashlight.
Team Head: 0.0
Clawgrip: ANY STOWAWAYS, LEAVE! OR I'LL THROW THE BARREL OF EXPLOSIVES DOWN AND BLOW UP THE SHIP!
Iggy and Larry start to dart out of the ship. However, before they can leave, a huge group of Alley Rats, several Frog Pirates, and, for some reason, the Goomba King all jump out of a nearby window (with a little help from Clawgrip, of course).
Clawgrip: All right, that's good. Back to the party.
Clawgrip leaves and goes back up deck, where there is apparently a party.
Larry: *phew* That was...
Suddenly, a huge laser parameter appears all around the room. A small laser cannon from the walls fires off a warning shot toward the ground, and then sinks back into the ship's wall.
Iggy: ...close?
Larry: *gulp*
Team Garlic - Johnny's Ship
Waluigi is running around. In fact, he's running around so fast that the crew is actually entertained. Johnny is clapping his fins together while the crew throws random things for Waluigi to juggle. Meanwhile, Wario is failing miserably to row out of the area, actually just circling around Johnny's boat. Eventually, Waluigi gets too scared of the items (imagining they're Lil' Boos) and throws them down.
Johnny: Ar... You'd best be picking those up, or dead you'll be.
Waluigi: BUT I'M STILL SCARED OF DEATH! I'VE GONE THROUGH IT FIVE TIMES AND COUNTING! AND FIVE MINUS FOUR IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER, WHICH I'M EVEN MORE SCARED OF THAN A USUAL NUMBER!
Johnny: Lame.
Waluigi: WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! YOU'RE ALL SHARKS!
Waluigi jumps over all of the sharks (at which point the ratings drop) until he gets to the edge of the ship: a small plank, actually.
Johnny: I suggest you walk the plank all the way, before you're keelhauled!
Johnny is about to knock Waluigi off the plank, when suddenly, another boat appears. It has black sides with an evil-looking sail. However, the most menacing feature of the galleon is the crew of ghosts on top of it. A menacing figure materializes on the vessel's main deck. With four sabers in his boney hands, this skeletal warrior does not look very happy, and glares at Johnny.
Cortez: OI! Get out of my water, amigo!
Johnny: I'm no friend of yours... OPEN FIRE!
And then, the war is on! Cannonballs flying through the sky strike the powerful Black Skull, making holes appear everywhere on the black ship. However, these damages are quickly repaired by some ghastly help. As that Pirates of the Caribbean theme soars through the air, a cascade of flames strike Johnny's crew. The sharks, unaccustomed to the intense heat, dive into the water, abandoning ship for all hope of life. The Embers then regain their normal forms and begin to set fire on the galleon. Of course, a few get a bit close to the gunpowder, and...
Johnny: Aw MAN! I just turned down the insurance for this thing, too!
HUGE EXPLOSION! Wow… That's the 3rd this leg.
Johnny's ship is quickly blown to smithereens, and those smithereens are also destroyed as well. Johnny is looking a bit extra-crispy himself as he flies through the air. As Cortez and his pirate crew celebrate, the Wario Bros are flung randomly into the air. Slowly they rise, but quickly they fall. As both turbo into a land unknown, only one sound can be heard from the Brothers' mouths.
WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Team Muddy - Gwarhar Lagoon
After much tornado-ing, Team Muddy and the Jelectro swarm make it to Gwarhar Lagoon. The Jelectros then plunge into the sea, their mission complete.
Boomer: Wonder what that was all about...
Petey: They were probably paid actors by the show to keep things interesting.
The cameramen start sweating a lot.
Petey: Just kidding.
The cameramen, not to mention The Dryest Bones and the rest of the idiotic staff working on this project, all sigh in relief.
Boomer: All right, according to the trajectory of the galleon's path, taking into consideration the natural mass of the object, combined with at least 1,000 crates of Chuckola Cola at a rate of dynamite explosion...
It's at this point that Boomer starts going out of proportion with mathematical formulas that a college student would have difficulty understanding (the above statement was edited to be simplified), etching a huge formula in the sand. Petey just gives up with trying to understand, walks over to the Relaxation Center, pays a lot of coins, gets a massage, and goes back to Boomer.
Boomer: ...which is why Teehee Valley is exactly 25 miles north northwest, and we'll be able to get there quickest by bribing Hermie III... Did you catch that?
Petey: OF COURSE I DID!
Boomer: Hm... You don't look like a castaway anymore... no doubt from some good old exersise! All right, let's go talk to Hermie!
With Hermie...
Hermie: Why thould I give you thome thlack?
Petey: We have... uh... presents?
Hermie: *gasp* From Thanta Clauth?!
Boomer: Uh... Sure!
Hemire: WHAT DID HE BRING ME?! WHAT DID HE BRING ME?!
Petey: Uh...
Petey and Boomer begin digging around in their pockets and/or shells. Eventually, they get a bunch of pocket lint, a few hundred boomerangs, and a huge clump of electric sludge. Eventually, they form something... awkward. It looks like a fluffy Starman with several holes... not to mention an awful scent.
Boomer: MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Petey: HAPPY CANADA DAY!
Boomer: -_-
Hermie: *gasp* ITTH PERFECT! Thankth tho much!
Hermie tosses that ugly, singing Starslap off his head and puts on the even uglier star.
Boomer: All right, we need to go to Teehee Valley, 25 miles north northwest.
Hermie: That maketh thingth eathy! Let'th go!
Hermie the Chrithmath Crab swims away toward Teehee Valley, with Petey and Boomer hanging on to his shell.
Team Head - Chai Kingdom
Eventually, the Daisy Cruiser makes it to Sarasaland's Chai Kingdom. Larry and Iggy try to leave the ship, actually getting through the laser setup, when suddenly...
Chibobo: HEY! THOSE GUYS ARE STOWAWAYS SNEAKING OFF THE SHIP!
Chicken: LET'S GET THEM!
Iggy and Larry are chased by a bunch of random Super Mario Land characters. However, considering they have the intellect of your average Goomba, the enemies walk straight off cliffs and such. Iggy and Larry are successful at making it to Daisy's Castle.
Iggy: Hm... Looks fancy.
Larry: What are you talking about? It's just the same as Peach's Castle, only orange on the top and with Daisy's stained-glass image instead of the pretty puny princess.
Iggy: Was "pretty puny" a compliment or insult to Peach?
Larry: Don't know, don't care.
Iggy and Larry then enter the castle. It is much more majestic than Peach's place. There are several beautiful portraits of Daisy adorning the castle walls, along with statues of her in various poses made out of solid gold. It's basically a fantasy of Peach, Wario, and Bowser combined.
Iggy: Awesome.
Larry takes a step forward. Suddenly, all of the Daisy statues come to life. Giant golden swords materialize in each's hand, and they all lunge forward, pure anger in their eyes.
Larry: This might take a while...
The Daisy Statue's eyes are now pure fire...and they all fire laser beams at the helpless Koopalings.
Iggy: YEOW!
Larry: HAHA! MISSED!
However, another Daisy statue knocks Larry unconscious. Eventually, Iggy faints from constant exposure to laser blasts. The statues then bring the tortured subjects before their princess.
Daisy: Dispose of them...
Fittingly, Iggy and Larry are then tossed into a bin labeled "Trash". There are several others there as well, such as Flavio, Oogtar, and Macho Grubba. A Daisy Statue then takes the trash outside and dumps it into an area around a Chain Chomp, where even more randomly assorted idiots lie.
Chain Chomp: BARK! BARK!
Team Garlic - Somewhere
Wario and Waluigi are randomly cannonballing into some area. Eventually, they crash... right into Joke's End.
Wario: Didn't we melt this place at least three times?
Waluigi: It was like a water park... AND THE MASCOT BEAT ME UP FOR BEING TOO LOUD THERE! WAAAAH!!! HELP ME, MOMMY! EVEN THOUGH I'M SO SCARED OF YOU! WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Wario: I hate you so much right now... Well, now whatda we gunna do?
Jojora: BE FRIENDS FOREVER!
Wario: That is the dumbest little thing I have ever... Actually, that's not half-bad. HEY FAIRY-KID, you wanna play a game?
Jojora: YEAH!
Wario: Al lright, this game is called "Get us to Teehee Valley as fast as possible".
Jojora: YEAH!
Jojora makes a magical raft out of ice that won't melt. He (Or is it she? It's so hard to tell...) then places the Wario Bros. on it, freezes the crying Waluigi, and sends them on their way with Ice Snifits as paddles.
Wario: ROW! ROW! ROW!
Waluigi is somehow rowing while frozen.
Jojora: YAY! THAT WAS FUN! Now what? Wait a minute...
Wario and Waluigi are out of sight from Joke's End before Jojora catches on.
Meanwhile...
Boomer: Just two more minutes until we get to Teehee Valley.
Hermie: He theeth you when you're thleeping! He knowth when you're awake! He knowth when you've been bad or good tho be good for goodneth thake. OHHHH!
Petey: Please... let the spirit of Christmas leave.
Hermie: EVIL! EVIL BEINGTH! PAY FOR YOUR THINTH, NON-BELIEVERTH!
Hermie tosses the idiots onto a small rock with the Valley in sight... well, barely in sight, anyway. There are angry Unagis swimming all around the island.
Boomer: You just HAD to insult the crab when we were getting close!
Petey: Hm... Well, we're almost there. What could possibly go wrong?
Suddenly, the magically-enhanced ice boat of the Wario Bros. boosts ahead of Team Muddy's rock.
Boomer: You just HAD to ask!
Petey: Oh, forget it... BLOCK BOAT!
Suddenly, a boat made of already used ? Blocks appears inside the water. Petey begins charging up his leaves for another tornado.
Boomer: Since when could you summon up blocks on the spot?
Petey: Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time. Now, before that becomes a recurring joke, GO!
Petey's next tornado becomes a hurricane, though. With the heated tropical water, the hurricane grows to the size of Oho Oasis, sweeping up Team Muddy.
Wario: WAH HAH HAH! We're almost... WOAH!
Team Garlic gets swept up by the hurricane. However, both boats are able to stay intact in the center of the storm.
Waluigi: WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! I'M SCARED, WARIO!
Wario: Oh forget it, and let's try to stop the insanity... again.
Wario grabs onto Waluigi's feet, and begins spinning rapidly. Meanwhile, Petey sees what's happening.
Petey: THEY'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO STOP THIS, AND WE'RE GOING TO BLOW AWAY!
Boomer: HOW DO WE STOP THIS?!
Petey: I'm too tired right now to create another hurricane to nullify the other one, so... WAIT! THAT'S IT!
Meanwhile, Wario has used his Wild-Swing-Ding move to its maximum potential. He throws Waluigi down toward the center of the hurricane, spinning like a missile. Suddenly, the hurricane slowly shrinks and shrinks until... BAM! It is no more. Wario, having tied a rope to Waluigi's foot, is dragged down to the bottom by the superior gravity. Luckily for them, they land in Teehee Valley. The Snifario that is the judge for this Pipe Path then soars down.
Snifario: All right, Team Garlic! Your time starts... NOW!
Wario tries to create a fortress, when suddenly, a sign that says "Welcome to New Orleans" falls on his back, crushing him underneath. Waluigi is still stuck underground thanks to the spinning motion. Wario slowly crawls out, when Cackletta suddenly soars down on a bike, crushing Wario further. Finally, other random debris keeps falling, until Morton's doomship falls on top of everything.
Morton: Why I had to bring my doomship over this dust-infested place, not that I don't like dust, not to mention that it's sand and that reminds me of Desert Land which is an awesome place to take a vacation with the lakes and hot springs and all, but that's not the point, which is odd because usually I'm quite straight with my conversations and OH MY THAT SPEAR IS SHARP!
A Gritty Goomba hit Morton with a spear. He goes running. Meanwhile, a few more Gritty Goombas begin skewering Waluigi's underside. Though no one can hear Waluigi's whining, the ground is a lot wetter from tears. Petey and Boomer have yet to be seen...
Petey: ROW!
WOW! Petey has created another block and attached a Piranha Bud's tongue to it, causing them to have been stuck in place the entire time. And now, standing on another boat of blocks, the Piranha Bud is rowing them to VICTORY... or at least Teehee Valley.
Piranha Bud: Why do I do this?
Boomer: We control your very existence.
Piranha Bud: All right then.
Team Head - Fending off a Chain Chomp
Team Head is trying to fend off the bloodthirsty Chain Chomp with a plunger they stole from Mighty Plumber (who is down there because Daisy didn't like his tone). Eventually, the Chain Chomp's face gets stuck to the plunger, making it go on a rampage and crash right into the hanger for the planes.
Iggy: That was fortunate.
Larry: Yes, yes it was. Then again, we always have good luck, because if we died, then we wouldn't be able to finish or anything.
Iggy: True...
The Koopalings hijack the Sky Pop and get out of Crazy Daisy's Castle. After about 10 minutes of extremely fast flying, they make it to Thwomp Volcano.
Iggy: VICTORY IS WITHIN REACH!
However, as expected...
Larry: Oh boy.
NOTHING HAPPENS! Larry and Iggy are able to make it successfully to the top of the volcano, where Mr. and Mrs. Thwomp await.
Mrs. Thwomp: LOSERS! TAKE YOUR CLUE!
Iggy: This is the SECOND time that we have had good luck this race!
Larry: And it's... ANOTHER PIPE PATH! Oh good, it looks like the last one: Mall or Brawl.
The Dryest Bones: In Mall, teams must travel to the largest shopping complex constructed on Plit, Wendy's Mall, located on a scenic island in the middle of a sea filled with deadly traps. Once teams arrive - in one piece or not - they must race Wendy and Susan in a tag-team clothing shopping contest. Then, after an hour of shopping is up, they must redesign either a Koopa, a Toad, a Goomba, or a Boo to an extremely fashionable form. A panel of judges will look at the outfits and decide on the best one. If teams win, the lead judge and creator of this Pipe Path, Multiss Guy, will hand them their next clue. If not, they have to repeat the fashion disaster show. I doubt that any team will pick this, considering that they have absolutely no taste in clothing whatsoever (besides Petey, but I still can't tell if that's clothing or just built-in to his body). However, teams could get lucky and doubt Wendy and Susan's fashion sense. In Brawl, teams must travel to Glitzville, which is currently sold-out for a special event. They must then speak with Grubba, who has rented out the arena for us thankfully. At that point, teams must then battle their way through every other team eliminated so far, in the order of their elimination. There will only be one break during the fighting, at the team's request. After defeating all of their foes, Grubba will hand the victorious team their next clue. If a team falls in battle, they must send for a rematch within an hour, or else they'll have to do the Mall competition. This is very fun and competitive, but might be more physically costly than shopping as well as more time-consuming. However, considering the lack of fashion sense among the current group, this may be for the better. And yes, this is the last Pipe Path. Sob with me, everyone... Well, I can't exactly sob, but, you know...
Larry: ALL RIGHT! Considering that we know nothing about fashion, and Wendy is sure to try to beat us up, let's go for Brawl!
Iggy and Larry head off toward Glitzville in their plane. However, a rock from the volcano hits them. Luckily, they crashland right onto Glitzville while Grubba is walking around.
Grubba: GREAT GALLOPING GULPITS! You kids are crazy... You're part of that race thing that's today's main event, right?
Larry: YEP! That's me, Larry, and my brother and partner, Iggy!
Grubba: Uh, son... I dunno how to tell you this... Your partner looks dead.
Larry turns around, looking at Iggy, fully on fire and broken in several places.
Larry: He's probably unconscious.
Grubba: No, son. I've been in the fightin' biz for a while, and that Koopa is dead. I know.
Larry: Then why hasn't...
A small halo appears on Iggy's head. Iggy's corpse begins flying up toward a chorus of Nimbis. However, everything suddenly stops, and Iggy's body falls to back Glitzville.
Larry: Oh... IGGY!
Grubba: I pitty that foo.
Team Garlic and Muddy - Teehee Valley
Petey and Boomer finally row ashore. A Snifario flies down.
Snifario: Team Muddy, your time starts now.
Petey: GAAAABLEEEEHHHHHH!!!
Boomer: Gross!
Petey has thrown up a huge pile of sludge the size of Beanbean Castle. He then begins hitting it with Piranha Bud until the bud perishes. Taking out the tongue of the plant, Petey gently strokes the sides of the mud, finishing details. Five minutes later, a fortress made out of hardened sludge has been constructed.
Snifario: ALL RIGHT! LOOKING GOOD! You guys got here 15 minutes after the Wario Bros... I'm going to check on those losers now.
Snifario zooms off.
Boomer: 0.0
Petey: Yes, quite 0.0 inspiring, if I do say so myself.
Boomer: How are you sure it's stable?
Petey rams his head into his fortress. It doesn't break.
Boomer: Good enough.
Petey: I haven't even shown you the best part!
Suddenly, a Boom Boom made completely out of mud walks out of the castle and begins pounding on the nearby Anuboos.
Boomer: And you didn't make us Boom Booms out of mud before... why?
Petey: I faint after I do something of this magnitude after a while, and I didn't want you to have to carry me. Well, good night!
Petey faints right onto the castle wall. The mud Boom Boom carries him and Boomer to a large bed... defended by cannons.
Boomer: We're going to survive through this with minimal struggle! YES!
However, the Wario Bros. aren't as fortunate. Wario slowly maneuvers himself out of the pile of debris just as Snifario gets there.
Snifario: YEESH! Your bro looks like Swiss cheese, Wario!
Wario: That sounds good right now... STOP TAUNTING ME!
Snifario gets an evil look in his eye.
Wario: What are you doing?
Snifario gets out a small book.
Wario: YOU WOULDN'T!
Snifario opens to the center of the book.
Wario: I'M WARNING YOU!
Snifario: CHEESEBURGERS HALF-OFF AT MCYOLDS! FREE BURRITOS WITH EVERY FIVE TACOS AT TACO EEKER! FLAVIO'S FANTASTIC DRINKS AT 10 COINS APIECE! WEDDING CAKE MADE BY THE LEGENDARY CHEF TORTE! GUARENTEED NOT TO MOVE AT 250 COINS! IT'S A DELICIOUS SENSATION THAT YOU WILL NEVER FORGET!
Wario: NOOOOOOOOO!!! Too... much... food... that... I... can't... have... WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!
Wario begins rocking himself and sucking his thumb. Meanwhile, Waluigi continues to get hit by spears.
Snifario: This is definitely fun!
Two hours and 30 minutes later, Petey and Boomer's defenses have held out with nearly no opposition, thanks to the mud Boom Boom guarding the fortress, not to mention its extremely powerful walls. Oh, and Petey has woken up. At the same time, the Wario Bros. haven't been driven out of the desert yet, though Waluigi has too many holes to count and Wario is still in shock about how many great deals there are for food. Suddenly, a new force enters the battle...
Trunkle: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! TRUNKLE SMASH LIKE SODA CAN!
Whomp: THAT WHOMP'S LINE! Whomp like you!
Trunkle begins going on a rampage for absolutely no reason. The Wario Bros. get about seven seconds of not being hit by spears, but then get blasted by a rock from Trunkle's arm. Both are blasted into a cliff wall and into their senses... well, Wario has some senses, at least.
Waluigi: THAT MONSTER IS THE SCARIEST THING EVER! WAAAAAHHH!
Waluigi looks down.
Waluigi: WAAAAHHHHH!!! A ROCK! IT'S TOO SCARY FOR BELIEF!
Meanwhile, Wario is facing off against the rock monster that I seem to prefer above other Superstar Saga bosses. Wario tries his famous shoulder ram attack against the beast, only to be met by a huge, stone fist to the face. The evil plumber, trying to think quickly, gives off a quick sweep kick with his flailing nubblets that he calls legs. Again, Trunkle's reply is another rocky fist to the face.
Wario: THAT'S IT! IT'S TIME FOR MY SECRET WEAPON!
Wario eats a clove of garlic. The ugly fumes surround the fatso, and a huge glow erupts from the stench cloud. A second later...
Wario: It's a heartburn... It's DAD... No, it's WARIOMAN!
The fatso is now wearing a pair of purple underwear on his head, along with a pair of splitting footy pajamas with a "W" on his chest, and a gross-looking towel as a cape on his back.
Trunkle: That's ugly... TRUNKLE SMASH UGLY!
Warioman: BRING IT ON! WARIOMAN IS PERFECT!
The two forces are about to collide, when...
Snifario: TIME'S UP! WARIO AND WALUIGI, COME GET YOUR CLUE!
Wario decides to quit on the battle and throws a candy wrapper stuck to his pajamas at Trunkle. Waluigi is cowering behind a rock that he is extremely afraid of, so Warioman picks him up and tosses him to Snifario. Warioman does a Piledriver with a rock to Snifario and takes the clue.
Warioman: WAH HAH HAH! THIS IS SO SIMPLE! COME, DUMB SIDEKICK! LET'S-A GO!
Waluigi: But I don't want to be the sidekick! They always get kidnapped by scary villains and THEN MY PANTS WILL GET WETTER! WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Warioman: I HAVE A MAGICAL CAPE OF ABSORPTION! LET'S-A GO!
Warioman grabs Waluigi and attempts to fly. Of course, Wario can't exactly fly even with supposed "superpowers", so he simply falls out of Teehee Valley... right into a Boss Bass' jaws. Meanwhile, Trunkle has moved onto his next pair of victims.
Boomer: GAAAAAHHHH! BOOM BOOM, STOP HIM!
Boom Boom rushes at the evil rock beast, only to be stopped by a fist. With both the momentum of his running and the power of Trunkle's fist, Boom Boom bursts into several muddy chunks.
Boomer: Aw crud. PETEY! RAISE DEFENSE LEVEL TO JELLY ROLL 1!
Petey: Jelly roll 1 activating... NOW!
Suddenly, a large Banzai Bill Cannon spurts out of the top of the fortress. It begins charging an extremely powerful laser. As Trunkle goes to try to dismantle it, suddenly, a large army of Petey-made Piranha Plants begin swarming the exterior of the castle, trying to dig their hardened teeth into the rock beast. Trunkle retreats into the sand, unseen by any eyes (or whatever Petey uses to see). As the plants begin to celebrate, suddenly, Trunkle bursts out of the ground with a rocky bucket filled with... WATER! He dumps it on the fortress, causing it to melt to the ground.
Boomer: Mommy...
Petey: Uh... uh... We come in peace?
Trunkle begins sharpening his arm to the point of a sword. He then lunges right at the defenseless team. However, before he can make contact...
SKEW! RIP! OTHER SLICING SOUND!
Petey: NO!
Piranha Bean jumped down from the top of the valley to rescue his fellow plant brethren. Unfortunately, he got stabbed by Trunkle's very pointy arm.
Piranha Bean: Go on *wheeze*. You have a *choke* race to win for all *gag* Piranha Plants everywhere! *wheeze*
Piranha Bean dies.
Petey: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Piranha Bean: I *wheeze* believe in *other dying sound* you...
Sorry about that. Now Piranha Bean REALLY dies.
Petey: Piranha Plant...I SHALL WIN THIS FOR YOU! I SWEAR IT!
As Petey drips tears from his nonexistent eyes, Boomer goes back toward Trunkle. However, the rock monster is crying as well.
Trunkle: Me no crush after dramatic speech... Do it for the plant!
Trunkle goes back into Teehee Valley, his arm now normal. Snifario then glides down.
Snifario: Team Muddy, your time is... IS THAT A GIANT CANNON?!
Petey and Boomer turn around to see that their mud cannon is still intact and right in front of them. A small timer then makes a quiet "ding" sound.
Team Muddy: Oh, you have got to be kidding...
SHHH-ZOOM!