Leg 3
The Dryest Bones: And we're back! Last week, Team Bubble got eliminated for no good reason at all. It was one of my wacky legs, and they were in unlucky sixth place. Now, only ten teams remain. Who will win the grand prize? I'll never tell! (Well, until the last episode, when I'm forced to tell...)
The Ssreen shows all of the stupid things the people did in leg 2. Then, The Dryest Bones gets the camera back...
The Dryest Bones: I HATE my cameraman. Oh, we're back! CUT! This is live? Ummmmm, ignore what you just heard!
A hypnotism screen appears in the backround.
The Dryest Bones: Now, we'll kick things off with Team 64, who get to leave Luigi's Manion's Sealed Room 11 hours before the second place team.
Team 64 (1st at route marker)
Goomboss: Go to the place where Bowser "faces" the desert.
The Dryest Bones: Teams must try to figure out my clue, then go to the Bowser Sphinx in Pyramid Park. There, they will find their next clue.
Chief Chilly: I HATE the desert!
Goomboss: Where Bowser faces the desert... Is there a Bowser Monument?
Chief Chilly: There are his statues, trophies, pictures, bricks, and a sphinx.
Goomboss: THE SPHINX!
Chief Chilly: That's SO HOT!
Dr. Freezegood: Hi there!
Chief Chilly eats the Doctor.
Chief Chilly: NOW I have the power of nevermeltsnow... erm... ice!
Goomboss: That's GREAT!
Chief Chilly: Let's GO! It's right past the forest behind the Graveyard!
Goomboss tears straight through the forest and Bogmire's tombstone.
Back at the mansion...
Rudy: BOGMIRE! What's wrong?!
Bogmire: I sense a disturbance in the force... like one special tombstone screamed out in terror and was suddenly silenced...
Back with Team 64...
Chief Chilly: So... hot...
Goomboss: Yeah...
Chief Chilly: I SEE A CORBAT!
Corbat: So?
Chief Chilly: Guess not...
Goomboss: A FRIED GOOMBA VENDOR!
Chief Chilly: It's not really there...
Goomboss: SAYS WHO? ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!
Vendor: Come back again!
Mario: Okeydokey!
Luigi: MARIO! COME BACK!
Chief Chilly: HOW'D YOU GET PAST THE DRYEST BONES' SECURITY?
Back at the mansion...
Kamek: I win again!
Dark Bones Security: I'll keep playing UNTIL I WIN!
The Dryest Bones: GO AFTER MARIO!
Dark Bones: AFTER I WIN!
The Dryest Bones: But your arm falls off after you roll the dice.
Dark Bones: So?
The Dryest Bones: I need a better guard...
Back in the desert...
Goomboss: THE SPHINX!!!
Mario: YIPPEE!
Mario pulls out a switch.
Luigi: What?
Mario hits the
switch, and the bridge under the Bowser Sphinx collapses into a pit
of lava...
Mario: Thank you, Mario, but our princess is in another castle!
Goomboss: I still wonder how he beat me...
Luigi: HURRY UP, MARIO!
Mario: CHEESE!!!
Team Mario (1st at Sphinx)
Luigi: Go to Dry, Dry Outpost.
The Dryest Bones: Teams must now travel to Dry, Dry Outpost. That weird guy next to the red tree will hand them their next clue.
Mario: I'm-a Mario!
Luigi: We ALL know!
Mario: Mario's the SUPERSTAR!
Mario flies off toward the Eternal Star.
Luigi: MAMAMIA! How am I going to get him now?
Team 64 (2nd at Sphinx)
Goomboss: We go to Dry, Dry Outpost.
Chief Chilly: THAT'S ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DESERT! Since The Dryest Bones just decided to combine EVERY desert level, it takes three HOURS to cross!
Goomboss: I thought it only took 45 minutes...
Chief Chilly: That's HYRULE on HORSEBACK!
In Hyrule...
Link: WHY, NINTENDO, WHY?!
Epona (that horse): I have to do all of the work!
Link: But it used to take three minutes...
Espona: If you don't quit whining, that's how long your LIFE is going to be!
Out of Hyrule...
Goomboss: I'm bored...
Chief Chilly: It's only been three minutes...
Goomboss: That's how long it was in Paper Mario...
Chief Chilly: Well, at least you were IN Paper Mario!
Tweester: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Goomboss: Well, at least I don't melt!
Chief Chilly: Well at least I... WOAH!!!
Goomboss: AAAHHHHH!
The Tweester tosses both of them about. Then, somehow, they land in the oasis.
Chief Chilly: I LIKE LIMES!
Goomboss: Wow...
Chief Chilly gets seven limes.
Chief Chilly: YAY LIME!
Sheek: MINE!
A Shadow Mario steals the limes.
Shadow Mario: No limes for you, Slick!
Sheek takes off his cloak and becomes Moustafa.
Moustafa: Nodamice, ATTACK!
Shadow Mario becomes Moustafa.
Doopliss Moustafa (you saw it coming): No. Nomadimice, I'm on a stealth mission. Go take down that faker!
Half of the Nomadimice fight the other half of the Nomadimice. Chief Chilly steals all of the limes, and Doopliss and Moustafa enter an eternal war... THE END!
Goomboss: Wow, that was almost as useless as the whole banana ordeal last episode.
A banana falls from the sky.
Gold-omb: MINE!
Moneybags: Over my dead body!
Mario Referee: FIGHT!
Goomboss: UHG! Hey! It's Dry, Dry Outpost!
Chief Chilly: Let's spin around the red tree.
Weird Guy with the clues: Why are you running around that tree? It's giving me a headache. Let me guess, some guy told you that he had a dream about it? Well, there's no such thing as a house with a spinning roof!
Cheif Chilly: Actually, it was just fun. Now, GIMME THAT CLUE!
Goomboss: Chilly, how long has it been since we left the mansion?
Chief Chilly: About 11 hours... DANG IT!
Back at the mansion...
Bowser: QUIT PLAYING, KAMEK!
Kamek: But I'm so close to the one-trillion win record!
Bowser: Some guy ACTUALLY played Kandy Kane Land one trillion times besides you, and had loaded dice?
Money Ghost: Say WHAT?
Kamek: Okay, I'm done.
Team Koopa (2nd at Route Marker)
Bowser: MY SPHINX!
The Dryest Bones on a giant Gameboy Horror: ATTENTION ALL RACERS! MARIO HAS SENT YOUR FIRST CHECKPOINT, THE BOWSER SPHINX, INTO A POOL OF LAVA, SO GO TO THE BOWSER BURNING RUBBLE. I LIKE PIE!!! THAT'S ALL.
Bowser: MY SPHINX!
Kamek: Blagityblag!
Kamek creates lightningspeed shoes, but the Money Ghost steals them.
Money Ghost: That'll teach YOU not to use loaded dice against ME!
Bowser: Didn't we have a Clown Copter and a broomstick?
Kamek: Ummmmmm, I kinda sold them for loaded dice...
Bowser: I'm not mad...
Kamek: *phew*
Bowser: BUT, IF WE LOSE, YOU'LL BE LOCKED IN A CAPSULE WITH A CHAIN CHOMP!
Kamek: Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Bowser: But, LET'S GO!
Kamek: All right...
In the middle of the desert...
Luigi: I'm-a doomed!
General White: Would you like a cannon that shoots you to the Eternal Star?
Luigi: Why are you giving me this?
General White: Gold-omb pulled out on our second cannon project. Something about a talking bag and bananas...
Luigi: Let's-a-go!
Luigi gets launched to the Eternal Star.
Luigi: Well, it's-a convenient that the Flutter is here.
The Dryest Bones: A Flutter is the butterfly form of Wiggler. In this race, it will take whoever finds it first to the Pitstop. However, each team may only use the Flutter once in the entire race. In this Flutter, teams must get to the Eternal Star and defeat all of the Baby Bowsers. The Flutter will then float down from space.
Luigi: It's easy enough...
Mario: CHEESE!
Four Baby Bowsers: MAKE IT STOP!!!
Mario: Yippee!
The four Baby Bowsers explode!
Mario: Mamamia!
Another Baby Bowser explodes.
Luigi: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
A meteor hits Luigi.
Luigi: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
Bobopajiggler: Bad things happen when you say "are you serious".
A meteor hits Bobopajiggler.
Mario: Yahoo!
The star that Mario was standing on explodes!
Mario: My CHEESE! Are you serious?
A meteor hits LUIGI, who hits Mario, who hits a Baby Bowser, who explodes.
Flutter: Thanks for saving me!
Random Reader: WAIT! There are seven Baby Bowsers!
Who blew up the last Baby Bowser?
At an Interview studio...
The Dryest Bones: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T A MYSTERY?!
Egg Guy: Are you serious?
A meteor hits Egg Guy.
The Dryest Bones: Well, I'll just have to rewrite the script...
Back in the desert...
Weird Guy with the Clues: DO YOU WANT A CLUE, OR NOT?
Goomboss: All right... It's a warp path, Choo-Choo, or Blew!
The Dryest Bones: A Warp Path is a choice between two warp pipes leading to two challenges, each with its own pros and cons. In Choo-Choo, players must stop the train in Western Land, which is on a rampage, before it destroys what remains of the town. The engineer will hand them their next clue. This one is short, but teams with weaker contestants will have a hard time with the wacky train, and no one can do it if the town is completely destroyed. In addition, players who think it's a good idea to destroy the town will be automatically eliminated. In Blew, players will be warped to Mt. Rugged, where they must complete Buzzard's quiz show. If they blow it even once, they must go to the end of the line. This one is for the smarter type, but idiots (The King) and poeple with speech problems (Yoshi) may have quite a hard time.
Chief Chilly: Choo-Choo!
Goomboss: Let's GO!
One fixed script later...
Baby Bowser: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
The last Baby Bowser explodes.
Flutter: All right, NOW I'll take you to the pitstop of this leg, The Dryest Bones's Interview Studio.
Mario: Mamamia! I died there!
The Dryest Bones: Actually, you turned into a Boo Mario in the cardboard box near it before Kamek made the good one. By the way, you're Team Number 1!
Mario: Owowowowowowowow!
Luigi: Yippee!
Egg Guy: And, as a special bonus...
A stone block falls on Egg Guy.
The Dryest Bones: I get to say what they got!
Egg Guy: I don't want no saying. All I want is bubblegum, bazooka, zooka, bubblegum!
The Dryest Bones's Arms and Legs: Bubblegum! Bazooka, zooka bubblegum! Some gum!
The Dryest Bones: Well, anyway, Luigi will NEVER get interviewed with this never get interviewed coupon.
Luigi: Noooooo! You always call me Betty! Wait, how did you get my name right?
The Dryest Bones: I had Egg Guy implant a chip in my head that says Luigi whenever necessary.
Egg Guy: Where's my bubble gum?
The Dryest Bones: Luigi has it?
Egg Guy: You mean Betty?
The Dryest Bones: Yep.
Luigi: AAAAAHHHHH!!!
At the mansion...
Tatanga and The King (3rd at Route Marker)
Tatanga: Bowser Rubble...
The King: GOLF BALLS!
Tatanga: That's Nana's yarn...
Nana zaps Tatanga with her laser eyes.
Nana: I needed that!
The King: You're kinda cute...
Nana: You make me feel 421 again.
The King: You make me feel -23 again!
Tatanga: YOU WERE NEVER -23 YEARS OLD!
The King: Kingy is a dinosaur from our imagination!
Tatanga: Well, you have the intellect of someone that old.
The King: 1+1=Golf!
Tatanga: Go to the Bowser Golf Ball Dump, Kingy.
The King: GOLF!
The King speeds off until he reaches Bowser.
Bowser: What the? GET OFF OF ME!
The King uses his golf club to whack off Bowser's spikes.
Bowser: NOOOOOOOOOO!
Bowser eats The King, but throws him up.
Bowser: I HATE Mushrooms!
The King: Mushroom?
Tatanga: Come ON, Kingy!
The King: OK!
Team Ball (4th at route marker)
Lemmy: The Bowser rubble...
Ludwig: Zi guess we could hire Orville and Henry's vehicles.
They both go back into the mansion.
Orville: NO!
Henry: Okay, the genius gets my car!
Ludwig: YEAH!
Lemmy: I'll give you a ball.
Orville: GIMME!
Lemmy gets a Clown Copter that drops his least favorite ball into Orville's hands.
Orville: You got my plane!
Lemmy: YES!
Ludwig and Lemmy speed off and get to the rubble before Bowser or Tatanga.
Team Ball (3rd at Rubble)
Barney: Here's your clue!
The Dryest Bones: NO FLINTSTONE JOKES!!!
Barney falls through a hole in time.
Shroob: &%$#@ (My prisoner!)
Ludwig: Ze Dry, Dry Outpost.
Lemmy: With these vehicles, it should take *counts on fingers* 1 hour and 12.3 minutes.
Ludwig: Exactly!
Team SCREAM (5th at route marker)
Bogmire: Rubble...
Rudy: I GOT IT!
Bogmire: What?
Rudy: We get The Clockwork Soldiers to blast us to the rubble.
Bogmire: Great... idea.
In the clock room...
Blue Soldier: FIRE!
Rudy and Bogmire land on Bowser and Tatanga, who are now at the rubble.
Team SCREAM (4th at Rubble)
Bogmire: Dry.. .Dry... Outpost.
Rudy: It takes three HOURS to get there!
Bogmire: Doesn't... Red... Chain Chomp... live here?
Rudy: GENIUS!
Team Koopa (5th at Rubble)
Kamek: The Dry Dry Outpost is three hours away, unless...
Bowser: What?
Kamek: Unless we hire Buzzard, who is only one and one half hours away.
Bowser: GREAT!
Team ? (6th at Rubble)
Tatanga: Well, we gotta go to the Dry, Dry Outpost.
The King: WHEEE!!!
The King touches a Baby Bowser, and it explodes, so both teammates fly to Dry, Dry Outpost.
Team ? (2nd at Outpost)
Tatanga: Choo-Choo. With your lack of brains, we would never survive a quiz.
The King blows on a Buzzard whistle.
Buzzard: Question 1! What is Swanky Kong's name? TATANGA!
Tatanga: Ummmmm, Swanky?
Buzzard: CORRECT! Question 2, who is the blue one?
A picture of Sonic and Pikachu flash by.
Buzzard: THE KING!
The King: Sonic, he goes Pika Pika.
Buzzard: SONIC IS CORRECT! Final question!
The whole world becomes dark.
Buzzard: What is 1+1? THE KING!
Tatanga: Oh no...
The King: GOLF!
Buzzard: CORRECT!
Tatanga: But it's... I mean, GO KINGY!
Buzzard: Here is your next clue!
Tatanga: Rush to Desert World Pyramid.
The Dryest Bones: Teams must now go to Desert World Pyramid. There, they will find their next clue.
Tatanga: Let's go, King.
The King: ARTHUR!
Tatanga: How do you know King Arthur?
The King: I am Merlon! Let's go to Berbajig!
Tatanga: What's Berbajig?
The King: You found Waldo! Turn to the next page!
The Page turned, and the Yoshis grew happier.
The Dryest Bones: Team Egg, you're team number 2!
Yoshi: YOSHI!
A Baby Bowser explodes somewhere.
Egg Guy: WAIT! YOU DIDN'T EVEN WRITE ANYTHING ABOUT YOSHI YET!
The Dryest Bones: THE PAGE TURNED! Plus, here's a fast forward of what they did in between pages.
Yoshi put a tracker on The Dryest Bones last Pitstop, and just stalked him all the way to the studio.
Egg Guy: THAT'S IT?
The Dryest Bones blows up.
Egg Guy: FREEDOM!
The Dryest Bones puts himself back together.
The Dryest Bones: Yes, that WAS necessary... I'll never explain how, though.
Back at the mansion...
Team Garlic (6th at route marker)
Waluigi: I'm SCARED of rubble!
Wario: I'm SCARED of YOU BEING SCARED OF EVERYTHING!
Waluigi: Fine, I'll be brave.
Wario: Finally!
Waluigi: If... I... WASN'T SCARED OF BRAVERY! WWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Wario: Let's just go...
Wario has to pull Waluigi by the ear to the rubble.
Team Puff (7th at route marker)
Peach: Let's GO, Toad.
Toad: OK!
Team Muddy (Last at route marker)
Petey: WE'RE LAST!
Boomer: But I'm not going down without a fight!
Boomer throws his boomerang in the wrong direction. Then, it hits him and Petey and chops to the rubble.
Team Muddy (7th at Rubble)
Petey: Dry, Dry Outpost.
Boomer: That was my last boomerang, sorry.
Petey: It's all right.
Boomer: To the Outpost!
Petey: Ummm, this is a pretty bad time to mention this, but I dry up in the desert...
Petey looks like what would happen to a raisin if you left it under a magnifying glass on a hot summer day.
Boomer: OUCH!
Boomer tries to grab Petey, but he pulls his leaf off.
Petey: DOCTOR!
Dr Mario (still tiny): I'm-a Dr Mario!
Petey: AAAAHHHH!
Petey runs fast enough to get to the oasis.
Petey: All better... HEY DOOPLISS!
Doopliss: What are you talking about? I'm Moustafa!
Moustafa: LIAR!
Mario Referee: ROUND TWO!
Petey: Boomer?
Boomer: Right here!
Petey: Where are you?
Boomer: On your backside!
Petey: Well, it's a pretty short walk to the Outpost from here...
Ludwig: OUTTA MY WAY!
Ludwig runs over Petey and Boomer
Team Ball (3rd at Outpost)
Lemmy: BUZZARD!
Buzzard: It's the Buzzard Quiz Show! YAY!
Ludwig: Vwhat's the first question?
Buzzard: Who hates Peach the most?
Ludwig: Cackletta!
Buzzard: SORRY! The answer is Daisy!
Lemmy: I thought YOU were the one with all of the brains in the family!
Buzzard: NEXT TWO CONTESTANTS!
Team Muddy (4th at Outpost)
Petey: Us?
Buzzard: What is your name? BOOMER!
Boomer: Boom(er) J Brother.
Buzzard: CORRECT! How many seconds are in a gigahedronic piranha-style minute? PETEY!
Petey: 9.23456765768768568368967910074563745376 plus 2!
Buzzard: CORRECT!
Everyone on Plit: X_X or O_O?
Buzzard: FINAL QUESTION! How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? PETEY!
Petey: One plant!
Buzzard: YOU WIN! HERE'S A CLUE!
Petey: Poor Planteo...
Woodchuck: (eating Planteo) Says who?
Boomer: Desert Land Pyramid.
Petey: Let's GO!
Buzzard: NEXT!
Ymmel: The answer is then.
Drazzub: CORRECT!
Ymmel: The answer is right!
Drazzub: King Bowser's Mom!
Ymmel: Morton Koopa Sr.
Buzzard: HERE'S NOT YOUR CLUE!
Ymmel: You're not welcome!
Buzzard: I love opposite round!
Ludwig: How did you know it was the opposite round?
Lemmy: HI YMMEL!
Ymmel: HI LEMMY!
Ludwig: WHAT?
Lemmy: I made a clone and made it opposite!
Ludwig: AH! Well, to DESERT LAND PYRAMID!
Buzzard: I'm going home...
Lemmy: TO THE TOYS... I MEAN VEHICLES!
Team Koopa (At Buzzard's roost)
Buzzard: You're a team.
Bowser: Yes we are.
Buzzard: I'm one of the leg steps!
Kamek: What is it?
Buzzard: QUIZ SHOW!
Kamek: YES!
Bowser: Everyone makes me figure out the mysteries, so I'll be pretty good at this.
Buzzard: KAMEK! What's 1+1?
Kamek: 2.
Buzzard: That's WRONG, the correct answer is GOLF!
Bowser: GOLF?
Buzzard: CORRECT! BOWSER? Where's Waldo?
Bowser: On the last page.
Buzzard: CORRECT! KAMEK? Who did Mario say he was to trick me?
Kamek: Princess Peach.
Buzzard: I still can't believe I fell for that... I mean, CORRECT! Here's a clue!
Kamek: To the PYRAMID!
At Choo-Choo...
Goomboss: STOP!
The train sends Goomboss flying into outer space.
In outer space...
Lord Crump: Why does the moon always blow up?
Goomboss: COMING THROUGH!
Lord Crump: NO! This is MY SPACE!
Lord Crump blows up the Magnus Von Grapple 3.0, which sends Goomboss back to Plit...
Train: CHOO CHOO!
Goomboss lands on the train.
Engineer: I'M A TORPEDO!
Goomboss: No wonder the train went crazy...
Torpedo Ted: I'M A TORPEDO! TORPEDO AWAY!
Ted hits the tuna.
Whale: I'M A WHALE!
Ted: I'M A TORPEDO!
Goomboss: Desert Land Pyramid, Chilly!
Chilly: HEY! A cactus!
Cactaur: I hate my life...
Chilly: Can you come with us?
Cactaur: SURE THING!
Team 64 turns into Team DS!
Cactaur: OH BOY! I'm finally in one of these things!
Goomboss: CHARGE!
Goomboss does the insanely fast thing with Cactaur on his crown, and Chief Chilly on his foot.
Chief Chilly: You know, you don't have to BREAK MY FACE every time!
Goomboss: Sorry...
Team Garlic (8th at Rubble)
Wario: Dry, Dry Outpost...
Waluigi: I'm SCARED of Dryness!
The Dryest Bones: YAY!
Waluigi: AAAAHHHHHH!
Waluigi tries to run, but is falling into quicksand.
Team Puff (Last at Rubble)
Peach: Hi Waluigi!
Waluigi: I'm SCARED of Waluigi!
Toad: OK!
Toad rescues Waluigi.
Waluigi: I'm no longer scared of Toad!
NEW RECORD!
Waluigi: I'm SCARED of random Mario Party voices!
Wario: Wow... THANKS, CLUELESS!
Wario pushes Toad in the quicksand.
Toad: YAY!
Peach: Who do I get as a replacement this leg?
The Dryest Bones: We ran out of people!
Peach: So?
The Dryest Bones: YOU HAVE TO SAVE HIM!
Peach: NO!
The Dryest Bones: Then I'll sue!
Peach: Then I'll buy out the best lawyer. Then, I'll buy out Dryest Inc!
The Dryest Bones: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Peach: Yep!
The Dryest Bones: NOT IF I CAN GET HIM FIRST!
Peach: You're on!
The Dryest Bones: But you should probably save Toad...
Toad: O...
Toad falls underneath the sand.
Peach: I'M NOT GETTING DIRTY!
At a palace...
Rudy: SCHEECH!
Red Chain Chomp: BARK BARK!
The Chain Chomp hits Team SCREAM all the way to the Outpost.
Team SCARE (5th at Outpost)
Bogmire: Choo-Choo!
Rudy: Let's go!
Team DS (1st at Pyramid)
Goomboss: How'd we get here first?
Cactaur: I was rooted next to here!
Goomboss: Oh...
Chief Chilly: Freezie! Who's up for target practice?
The Dryest Bones: A Freezie is a task only one team member may accomplish. In this Freezie, teams must enter the Pyramid, which is infested with Baby Wigglers. The player must defeat ten of these. The Giant Wiggler at the bottom will hand them their next clue.
Goomboss: I'LL...
Cactaur: Allow me to do it, to prove my worthiness.
Goomboss: Well, thank you!
Cactaur: 1000 NEEDLE SHOT!
Cactaur sends thousands of needles everywhere, hitting 1,000 Baby Wigglers.
Giant Wiggler: AMAZING! HERE'S YOUR CLUE AND 1,500 COINS!
Cactaur: Here's 500 coins each, guys. Also, we're going to The Dryest Interview Studio!
The Dryest Bones: Teams must now venture to my Interview studio. This is the pitstop for this leg of the race. The last team here WILL be eliminated.
Chief Chilly: You pass the test!
Cactaur starts running around everywhere.
Cactaur: YEAH!
Goomboss: The studio's right next to Morton's doomship, to the right of here.
Chief Chilly: And you know this... how?
Goomboss: I watched Morton's doomship fall out of the sky.
The Halberd falls out of the sky.
Meta Knight: Would you like a lift?
Team DS: YES!
The Halberd crashes into the studio.
The Dryest Bones: OOOOHHHH! META KNINGT! Team DS is team number 3... WOAH! Can I use the Halberd for studio parts?
Meta Kinght: We can talk...
The Dryest Bones: YOU'RE THE GREATEST LAWYER! IN YOUR FACE, PEACH!
Meta Kinght: I'll just excuse myself...
Meta Knight jumps out of the window and into an Eyerok hand, which crushes him.
Team ? (2nd at Pyramid)
Tatanga: I'll do it!
The King: YIPPEE!
Tatanga: ?
The King enters the pyramid. The door closes behind him.
Tatanga: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
Pyramid: Only one per team is destined to be in here...
The King: GOLF BALLS!
Baby Wiggler: No, I'm a... AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
The King hits the Baby Wiggler into the other Baby Wigglers, which all end up in a giant Piranha Plant.
Giant Wiggler: Here's your clue!
The King: YAYS!
Tatanga: The Interview studio... WHY HAVEN'T I BEEN INTERVIEWED YET?
The Dryest Bones: Can't hear you, interviewing someone else!
Tatanga: ARG!
Tatanga rips open a hole in the space time continuam, which unleashes a demon made of speed...
Sonic: What's up?
Tatanga: DRYEST BONES!!!
Sonic: No problem...
Sonic does his supersonic thing and lands Team ? on the pitstop mat.
The Dryest Bones: Team ?, you're team number 4!
Tatanga: I WANT AN INTERVIEW!
The Dryest Bones: *waves hand* You do not want an Interview.
Tatanga: I do not want an Interview.
The Dryest Bones: WOW! Star Wars finally got something right!
George Lucas: Today, the movies. Tomorrow, THE WORLD!
George Lucas explodes.
Team Garlic (6th at Outpost)
Wario: Choo-Choo!
Waluigi: But I'm SCARED of Choo-Choos! There was one that crashed!
Wario: Choo-Choo!
Waluigi: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Waluigi runs to the Choo-Choo tracks, but faints when he sees Rudy.
Team SCREAM
Bogmire: Stop...
The train runs over Bogmire.
Bogmire: Shadow Clone Jutsu!
Naruto: That Bogmire, always trying to look better than me!
Suaske: I thought that was my role. Now, you're an even bigger loser...
Bogmire's thousand of Bogmires stop the train.
Engineer: Here's your clue!
Rudy: Why is a Goomba engineering a train? THEY DON'T HAVE HANDS!
Goomba: I was trying to prove all of my friends wrong, but I ran them over instead...
Pancake Goomba things: Ow... ow... ow!
Bogmire: Desert... pyramid.
Rudy: Let's go!
Team Muddy (3rd at Pyramid)
Boomer: I'll go ahead...
Petey: NO! I want to prove myself today!
Boomer: All right...
Petey spits mud on ten Baby Wigglers. Those mud beasts crawl out and devour the Wigglers.
Giant Wiggler: That's the most brutal, revolting thing I've ever seen done to a Wiggler! Here's your clue!
Petey: The STUDIO!
Team Ball (4th at Pyramid)
Lemmy: I'll go ahead...
Lemmy creates five exploding balls that take out two Wigglers each.
Giant Wiggler: Here ya go!
Lemmy: To the Dryest... LEMMY'S INTERVIEW SHOW!
Ludwig: And how do you get there?
Lemmy: There's chocolate there!
Ludwig runs faster than that Sonic guy with Lemmy and steps onto the mat!
The Dryest Bones: Lemmy and Ludwig, you're team number 5!
Lemmy: YAY!
Ludwig: We went down on the leaderboard...
The Dryest Bones: Well, it will be a more comfortable night's sleep in Lemmy's private two-story room!
Lemmy: YEAH!
Ludwig: Huzza!
Petey and Boomer break down the door.
The Dryest Bones: Petey and Boomer, you're team number 6!
Petey: YES!
Boomer: HOORAY!
Teams Koopa and SCREAM (5th and 6th at Pyramid)
Bowser: I'll do... HOW DID THESE GUYS GET HERE?
Rudy: Buzzard's Nest IS pretty far away... I'll do it!
Bowser just sets the pyramid on fire.
Morton: I DON'T HAVE PYRAMID INSURANCE! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Giant Wiggler: Spell: SUMMON PYRAMID!
A new pyramid rises from the sands.
Bowser: THE LUXURY EATERY! I MEAN, THE INTERVIEW STUDIO!
Kamek: I'm so glad The Dryest Bones decided to give me a vacation...
The Dryest Bones: I HATE HYPNOTISM!
Kamek: The spell of ultrateleportation!
Kamek teleports them to the front of the Interview studio.
Bowser: Why didn't you just do that before?
Kamek: I didn't have any batteries!
Bowser: Let's just go in...
The Dryest Bones: Bowser and Kamek, you're team number 7!
Bowser: SEVENTH?!
The Dryest Bones: And Kamek, help Yishotimi with those papers, will you?
Kamek: Fine...
Team SCREAM
Rudy: Ha ha, Happy Knives!
The Baby Wigglers get infected with laughing gas knives. Then, they all explode from laughter!
Giant Wiggler: Here's your clue!
Bogmire: BOG SLED!
Bogmire turns into a sand sled, like in the first episode.
Rudy: YIPPEE!
The Dryest Bones: Rudy and Bogmire, you're team number 8!
Bogmire: Not... gone... yet!
Rudy: YEAH!
Team Puff
Peach: NO! I'm not helping that Toad!
Toad: (If I get out of this, I'm going to Daisy's army.)
Peach: I love getting a tan.
Peach is seen in a tanning booth.
Team Garlic (In Western Land)
Wario: SUPER GARLIC BREATH!
The train burns up from bad breath!
The Dryest Bones: Dryest Bones to Enjin G!
Goomba Engineer: Enjin G to Dryest Bones!
The Dryest Bones: I'm running low on time! Give them their clue!
Goomba Engineer: Here's your clue!
Wario: Go to the pitstop!
Waluigi: I'm SCARED of the pitstop!
Wario: I don't care!
Wario hits Waluigi through the studio. Then, he casually walks in.
The Dryest Bones: Wario and Waluigi, YOU are team number 9!
Wario: YAHOO!
Waluigi: But I'm SCARED of eighth!
The Dryest Bones: KAMEHAMEHA!
The Dryest Bones blast Waluigi until he is knocked out.
Wario: Thanks.
Team Puff (Still at Rubble)
Toad: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Peach: TOAD! You're alive!
The Dryest Bones: I LOVE quicksand swimming! Anyway, you're both eliminated because Peach wouldn't help Toad, and Toad is an idiot!
Toad: OK!
Peach: So now what?
The Dryest Bones: I leave you both in the desert until someone rescues or interviews you.
Peach: WHAT?!
The Dryest Bones: That's all the time we have for today!
Current Results:
1st: Mario and
Luigi (Team Mario) -NO FLUTTER
2nd: Yoshi and
Birdo (Team Egg)
3rd: Chief Chilly,
Goomboss, and Cactaur (Team DS) -NO FLUTTER
4th: Tatanga
and The King (Team ?)
5th: Lemmy and
Ludwig (Team Ball) -NO FLUTTER
6th: Petey and
Boomer (Team Muddy)
7th: Bowser and
Kamek (Team Koopa)
8th: Rudy and
Bogmire (Team SCREAM)
9th: Wario and
Waluigi (Team Garlic)
ELIMINATED: Peach
and Toad (Team Puff)
ELIMINATED: Wart
and Shy Guy (Team Bubble)
ELIMINATED: Boolossus
and Giant Dry Bones (Team Big)