Leg 7
The Dryest Bones: Welcome back, ladies, germs, gentlemen, Koopas, Mushroom people, Goombas, Spinies, Robots, Mutants, Giant Evil Unicorns...
Five hours later...
The Dryest Bones: ...and my ex girlfriend, to The Amushroom Race. And here, with the insanely boring recap of dulldum, is the idiot king himself, the lord of English biscuits, lover of the letter X...
Lord Crump: You made up the word dulldum, AND STOP TALKING LIKE MORTON!
The Dryest Bones: Maybe I'll let him to the recap...
Audience: NO!
The Dryest Bones: All right then, take it away, Lord Cramp!
Lord Crump: THAT'S LORD- Oh what's the use.
The Dryest Bones: Interesting name.
Lord What's the Use: HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR! Oh well, I'll give the stupid recap anyway.
Lord What's the Use puts on a backwards baseball cap. He then does the most awful thing of all: begin rapping!
Lord What's the Use: Yo, I'm Lord Crump, coverin' your recap. There's lots to do, so sit and don't snap! Team Ball got Whomped like a flat pancake, but made a recovery with Warp Whistles in their wake. *random sound effects* So Kamek's arm went flying in the breeze, but big ol' Bowser put it back with ease!
Kamek: HE DID NOT!
Lord What's the Use: So then Team Ball took first place. And MC Ballyhoo told Bowser, "IN YOUR FACE!"
Bowser: You did? DIE!
MC Ballyhoo: WHAT?!
Lord Crump: So then-
The Dryest Bones: FORGET IT! WE WASTED OUR RECAP SPACE! Anyway, all teams except the recently-eliminated Team ? are at the Star Carnival. The first team to arrive at the destination, Team Ball, will leave in approximately... five hours ago.
Lemmy and Ludwig: WHAT?! WE COULD'VE LEFT THIS DUMP FIVE HOURS AGO?!
The Dryest Bones: Sorry, five seconds. JUST GO ALREADY!
While The Dryest Bones tries to shoot Lemmy and Ludwig with his Wii-mote, they grab the clue
Team Ball - 1st at Route Marker
Lemmy: Let's see... We have to... crud.
Ludwig: What is it... You have got to be kidding me.
Lemmy: WHY IS THE CARD BLANK?!
The Dryest Bones: YOU GOT A TRICK CARD! NYA NYA NYA!
Ludwig: What in DAD's name is that?
The Dryest Bones: It's when I feel a team is doing far too well. I have now limited your lead. You'll have to leave when another team reveals it to you.
Team Ball: -_-
The Dryest Bones: Sorry. I have to mess you guys up somehow. The race was getting too predictable.
Team Koopa - 2nd at Route Marker
Bowser: Uh... Any reason why you're still here, boys?
Lemmy: The Dryest Bones is being dumb again and making us wait for you guys.
Kamek: OH! Well in that case...
Kamek traps Lemmy and Ludwig in soundproof glass cubes using magic
Lemmy: ...!
Ludwig: ... ... ... ... ... .! .! .!
Kamek: WOAH!
Bowser: What did he say?
Kamek: Things that were said... like at that pirate convention you went to.
Bowser: OH MY DAD!
Kamek: Well, let's see where we're going anyway... OH! THIS IS A NICE SURPRISE FOR ONCE!
Bowser: OH YEAH! FUN TIME!
The Dryest Bones: Teams must now travel into the depths of the Star Carnival. Dashing through crowds, teams must travel to Koopa's Tycoon Town. It is there that they will find their next clue.
Bowser: All right. LET'S DO THIS THING!
Bowser stands in line for the Party Tent
Toad: OHMYDAD, IT'S BOWSER!
Mii: EVERYBODY RUN!
The Toads and Miis randomly scatter
Bowser: Woah, short lines today.
Kamek: -_-
Bowser and Kamek go into the Party Tent. However...
Bowser: Kamek, which one goes to that city?
Kamek: I don't know, sire.
Bowser: THEN LET'S GO THROUGH THAT ONE!
Kamek: But that one-
Bowser throws Kamek through a portal that says "Shy Guy's Purplex Express".
Team Muddy - 3rd at Route Marker
Boomer: HAHA! LEMMY AND LUDWIG ARE STUCK!
Petey: Aw... Did the wittle Koopawings get twapped?
Inside the cube...
Lemmy: I don't know what he just said, but judging by his hand gestures, he's on my "List of people who get stuffed into Roy's Room".
Back outside...
Petey: Looks like we're going to the real estate place.
Boomer: Well, let me pick up this card.
Boomer picks up Lemmy and Ludwig's dropped card. All of the sudden, Boomer notices...
Boomer: HEY! NO LINE!
Petey and Boomer walk past the cowering people.
Petey: (yelling really loudly) HI PEOPLE! I'M PETEY PIRANHA! WHO ARE YOU?!
Carnival Attendants: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Petey: That's a funny name!
All of the attendants hide inside the Party Tent.
Boomer: Nice going.
Petey: My mom said to be social this summer.
Boomer: Fine. Now grab your toys, Peter, and let's go inside the nice tent.
Petey: Yes Boomer...
Petey picks up some action figures and follows Boomer into the infinitely crowded Party Tent
Team Head - 4th at Route Marker
Iggy: LEMMY! ARE YOU OKAY?!
Lemmy: .. ... ... ..... ..... ... .... ...!
Iggy: Woah, don't get so personal. Well, I'm sorry, but I gotta help Larry, Bro. Nothing personal, I just want the coins.
Iggy walks over to Larry
Larry: He bought it?
Iggy: YEAH! TOTALLY!
Larry: Awesome.
We zoom in closely to Lemmy and Ludwig's boxes and see two blinking gizmos.
Iggy: All right, we're going to play monopoly!
Larry: Koopa's Tycoon Town?
Iggy: Yep.
Larry: All right then. OH ALFREEEEEED!
Iggy: Alfred?
An old Koopa in a butler suit drives up inside a limo.
Iggy: 0.0
Alfred: Would you like a ride to your business estate today?
Larry: Yes, thank you.
Larry jumps inside. The three Koopalings watching him stare in amazment
Larry: Well, what do you think I do with the money I steal from Roy's allowance? I need some extra income, and I get it!
Iggy: YOU'RE THE OWNER OF L.K.P.L. HOTELS?!
Larry: Yep. It stands for Larry Koopa: Plant Lover Hotels! We've got tons of business after that whole Bumpty Milton thing.
Iggy: All right.
Iggy jumps inside and the two drive off in style.
Iggy: WOW! THIS LIMO HAS A WII?!
Larry: YEAH! IT'S AWESOME!
Team Mario - 5th at Route Marker
Luigi: All right Mario, we're going to figure out how to win this. FOR MAMA AND-A PAPA!
Mario is looking at a butterfly.
Mario: Pretty alligator...
Luigi: All right, forget the "Fake, MARIO, YOU'RE MOM'S IN THE HOSPITAL" strategy. Let's just go to the tycoon town.
Luigi drags Mario, who is swatting a real alligator with pepper spray, into the Party Tent. Suddenly, the entire group gets even more lively.
Mii: OHMYDAD,OHMYDAD! IT'SMARIO!OHMYDAD!
Toad: ANDLUIGITOO!OHMYDADOHMYDAD!
Birdo: LET'S SHAVE OFF THEIR MUSTACHES AND SELL THEM ON THE INTERNET!
Petey: Heh... That'd be fun.
The fans get out razors
Petey: EEP!
Boomer: LUIGI! BOTH OF OUR PARTNERS ARE USELESS NOW!
Mario and Petey are trembling, holding each other in a corner.
Luigi: I see your point.
Boomer: How about a little help, so that we'll get out of here?
Luigi: I don't see a reason to. Mario gets a clean face and Petey gets mulched. It seems like an advantage to me.
Boomer: Ah, but we have the clue from the next area.
Luigi: How do I know you're not bluffing?
Boomer holds up a card from The Amushroom Race. It looks different than Luigi's card.
Luigi: Alrighty then...
Luigi grabs Mario and Petey and Super Jumps over the crowd, throwing both himself and his two passengers into the portal to the town. Boomer slowly walks inside. The fans somehow get stopped by an electric fence. They then start walking around the carnival like slightly-sane people again.
Team Garlic - Last... PEROID! AGAIN!
Wario: Well, we-a... HEY! IT'S THE FIRST-PLACE BRATS!
Waluigi: Heh... Now, even these brats can't scare me!
Plit: 0.0
Waluigi: I'M SCARED OF PLIT!
Instead of getting a clue, Wario and Waluigi poke the glass boxes.
Wario: And you'll never get out. NER! NER! NER!
Waluigi: Yeah... LOSERS! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Wait, I'm SCARED of losers! WHAAAAAAAAAAA!
Suddenly, Iggy's machines start blinking.
Wario: What the...
Suddenly, the boxes get wrapped inside cardboard! Wario and Waluigi also get trapped inside.
All: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Suddenly, the Garbage Shy Guy comes and picks them up.
Garbage Shy Guy: To Teh Dump with these things.
Suddenly, the Garbage Shy Guy takes them away. I like the word suddenly. A limo pulls up inside Koopa's Tycoon Town.
Team Head - 1st at Tycoon Town
Larry: Thanks, Alfred.
Suddenly, a train runs into Alfred, killing him. Bowser and Kamek fly out of the main locomotive.
Everyone in Town: 0.0
Bowser: We got bored, so we decided to do a bit of... freestyling.
Flashback
Kamek: YOU BLITHERING IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE?! I RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS!
Bowser: YOU WON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO ANYMORE, DAD!
Kamek: What?
Bowser: Oh, nothing...
Conductor: I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS DUMB CHATTERING!
The conductor jumps out of the train.
Kamek: You know how to drive a train?
Bowser: No. I used slaves to drive it.
Kamek: All right then. We're dead.
The train goes off track.
End Flashback
Larry: That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!
Kamek: I believe the term is "dumbest", young Master Larry.
Bowser: DON'T CORRECT THE COMPETITION!
Team Koopa - 2nd at Tycoon Town
Bowser: Well, we might as well read the clues.
Both teams rip open the clue cards
Both Teams: NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE THIS FREEZIE!
The Dryest Bones: In this Freezie challenge, one team member must travel to the heart of the city and find Miss Flurrie's Fantastic Theater. It's there that they will have to do something worse than death: act, and act well! They must impress the panel of judges: Holly Koopa, Flavio, Doopliss, and Madame Flurrie herself! If the member can impress all four, Flurrie will hand them their next clue.
Bowser: Can you act?
Kamek: Well, I did sing somewhat in my younger years.
Bowser: Yeah, yeah, that's good. GO AND DO IT!
Bowser stuffs Kamek in a taxi cab.
Bowser: TAKE HIM TO THE THEATER, THE WORST ONE IN TOWN!
Koopa Cabbie: Flurrie's Place? Got it!
The cabbie drives off.
Larry: You performed with Lemmy, right?
Iggy: Yeah, but it's been since Iggy Piles Up.
Larry: That's a chance we're going to have to take!
Iggy: Fine.
Larry: ALFRED II!
Another limo pulls up with Alfred inside.
Alfred II: Do you need anything now, sire?
Iggy: HOW MANY OF THESE GUYS DO YOU HAVE?!
Larry: NO TIME! GO!
Iggy hops in.
Iggy: FOLLOW THAT CAB!
The limo speeds off.
Teams Muddy and Mario - 3rd and 4th at Route Marker
All of the teams jump off.
Luigi: Well, give us the clue!
Boomer: All right.
Boomer gives Luigi the clue. However...
Luigi: THERE'S NOTHING ON THIS CARD!
Boomer: GOTCHA!
Petey: NYA, NYA, NYA!
Luigi: Says the boss afraid of shaving.
Petey: SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!
The three get into a fight. Meanwhile, by some random miracle, Mario has taken a card out of the box.
Mario: I'M-A MARIO!
Suddenly, a taxi pulls up.
Cabbie: Where to, Mr Mario?
Mario: THE PLACE WITH PASTA!
Cabbie: How about a show, too?
Mario: YIPPEE!
Cabbie: All right, TO FLURRIE'S THEATER WE GO!
Mario gets pulled into a taxi cab while the idiots still fight.
Teams Garlic and Ball - At The Dump
The boxes fall down at The Dump. Everyone gets out. However...
Announcer: AND IT SEEMS THAT OUR CHALLENGING TEAM HAS ARRIVED!
Wario: What the?
Wario notices that he, Waluigi, Lemmy, and Ludwig are inside a giant, filth-covered stadium. A metal ball is in the center, as well as Diddy Kong with three Monty Moles
Diddy: You finally get here. STRIKERS!
Lemmy: Wha?
Ludwig: Apparently, it's a reference to that new Mario Strikers Charged game that the author obsesses over.
The Dryest Bones: HEY! AS SOON AS I WIN A MATCH, MY OBSESSION WILL STOP. Let's see... match number 1,563... OOH! This guy's Mii looks like a Thwomp!
Lemmy: Now what?
Diddy starts pulverizing Lemmy with items.
Waluigi: I'M SUDDENLY SCARED OF DIDDY MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE!
Wario: DON'T BEAT THAT BOY WITH A BANANA!
Ludwig: Ooh... That looks painful. Glad I'm out here!
A Chain Chomp falls on Ludwig.
Ludwig: Why me?
Wario: WAIT A MINUTE!
Wario holds Waluigi up like a stick.
Wario: Want the stick? Want the stick, boy?
Waluigi: I'M SCARED OF STICKS!
Wario throws Waluigi into the other team's goal. The Chain Chomp, acting like the completely idiotic animal he is, follows. However, it also knocks the ball into Diddy's goal, which he doesn't notice because he's having too much fun beating up Lemmy.
Lemmy: I'M NOT THE ENEMY HERE!
Diddy: I don't see anyone else who is.
Lemmy: How about that Chain Chomp that just scored 17 goals on your team?
Diddy: WHAT?!
Lemmy: Sorry, my bad, that was 71. The banana gave me a lazy eye temporarily.
Diddy: I WILL WIN!
Diddy throws Lemmy's ball at the other goal. However, the Kritter blocks it and pops the ball.
Lemmy: NOOOOOOO! THAT WAS MY FAVORITE BALL! DIE!
Lemmy strangles Diddy as the time runs out.
Announcer: AND THE WINNER IS... er, THOSE LOSERS THAT GOT MAULED AND LUCKY WITH THAT CHAIN CHOMP!
Waluigi walks up to Wario. He looks more like a blob than a human at this point.
Wario: EESH!
Waluigi: I'm suddenly not scared of Chain Chomps...
Waluigi faints.
Wario: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ew...
Wario puts a bag on Waluigi's head.
Wario: Much better.
Suddenly, Flutter comes out of the Strikers ball.
Flutter: HI! I GUESS YOU GUYS WON THE CHALLENGE! So, I'll teleport you to Thunder Island, the pitstop for this leg of the race!
Wario: ALL RIGHT!
Wario grabs onto Waluigi and Flutter as the butterfly flies off.
Ludwig: OH NO YOU DON'T!
Ludwig takes out a grappling hook and hooks onto Flutter's foot.
Flutter: AAAAAAH! GET OFF!
Ludwig: Not on Lemmy's Life... Oh no, LEMMY!
Ludwig looks down and sees Lemmy being mauled by random Ukikis and Kong family members.
Ludwig: Oh, he'll be fine then.
Flutter drops off Team Garlic and Ludwig on the mat. The Dryest Bones and some random Boo are waiting for them
Boo: HELLO TO YOUR DOOM! I MEAN, THUNDER ISLAND! Yeah, that last one was right...
The Dryest Bones: OH MY DAD! NONONONONONONONONO! YOU WEREN'T SUPOSSED TO BE HERE YET! I SCHEDULED YOUR ELIMINATION THIS WEEK!
Wario: Er... "scheduled?"
The Dryest Bones: Er... Forget that. Wario and Waluigi, by some miricle, you're team number one.
Wario: OH YEAH, WARIO IS GREAT!
Waluigi: Mmph...
The Dryest Bones: Why does he have a paper bag on his head?
Wario: You don't really want to know.
The Dryest Bones: Oh well, we ran out of prizes, so your prize is...
The Dryest Bones randomly looks around and gets a rock.
The Dryest Bones: THIS ROCK!
Wario: I hate this. I'm going to go get seafood.
Ludwig walks onto the mat.
Ludwig: AND I GET SECOND, RIGHT?!
The Dryest Bones: Nope. Lemmy has to be here with you.
Ludwig: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
The Dryest Bones: Run to him, boy.
Ludwig runs... right off of a cliff... into a whirlpool
Boo: That was REAAAAAAAAAAAALY dumb!
The Dryest Bones: Meh, you get used to it.
Kamek - Acting Challenge
Kamek walks onto a stage.
Flurrie: And who are you, big boy?
Kamek: Uh, crud, it's the fat lady. Her kisses sent Lord Bowser to the hospital last month! Magikoopa Rebel 325?
Flavio: Ah yes, Flavio saw your hostage video... it impressed Flavio. GO!
The spotlight falls onto Kamek.
Kamek: (like a low male barritone) We ain't no strangers to love... you know the rules, and so do I!
A few minutes later...
Kamek: And swee-e-e-e-really higheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-t!
Glass shatters.
Kamek: Looooooooooverrrrrrrrr!
Everyone: 0.0
Meanwhile...
Iggy's glasses shatter outside.
Iggy: AAAAH! MY GLASSES! I CAN'T SEE WITHOUT MY GLASSES!
Roy walks by, and his glasses break, too.
Roy: AAAAH! MY GLASSES! I CAN'T BE SEEN WITHOUT MY GLASSES!
Both go into an optomotrist. Of course, Roy notices Iggy, and the expected happens. Back inside...
Holly Koopa: That last note was so high only dolphins could've heard it!
An audience of Dolphins hold up banners that say "WE LOVE YOU MAGIKOOPA 235!"
Holly: I say no.
Flavio: Flavio thought the entire song was great. The final note was like Flavio's favorite opera! Flavio says yes!
Doopliss: That rose my sheets and rocked my soul! Yes!
Flurrie: YOU'RE GOING TO THE NEXT STEP!
Kamek parties like those people who just got accepted into American Idol.
Flurrie: Here's your clue. We'll give you a cab back to your partner.
A cab pulls up, and Kamek rides away, happier than he had ever been before.
Mario - Acting Challenge
Mario walks onstage and hits his head on a random prop.
Flurrie: Is that you, Mario?
Holly Koopa: No, I heard he was a hero. This guy's an idiot like Mario, but not a hero.
Mario: I'm-a Mario! CHEESE!
All: BRILLIANT, PERFECT IMMITATION!
Doopliss: HERE'S YOUR CLUE!
Doopliss hands Mario over a clue, which Mario quickly eats.
Flavio: Uh, the acting is over.
Mario jumps out of the theater and into a cab.
Flurrie: Wow, that guy is really dedicated.
Team Muddy
Petey: DIE!
Mario and Kamek's cabs drive up as the groups keep killing each other.
Larry: MARIO'S BACK?! What is Iggy doing...
At the optomitrist...
Iggy: Are these glasses?
Optomitrist: Actually, that's my battleaxe.
Iggy: That explains the serious pain in my eyes...
Back in town square...
Bowser: Ya get it?
Kamek: OHYEAHIDIDBUTTHATDOESN'TMATTER!
Bowser: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT AND/OR SAYING?!
Kamek: THEYLIKEDME! YAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!
Bowser: JUST GIVE ME THE CLUE!
Bowser swipes the clue from Kamek.
Bowser: Ah... It's Booster's Tower. NOOOOOO!
The Dryest Bones: Teams must now travel to Booster's Tower. It is there that they will find their next clue.
Bowser: LET'S GO!
Kamek: BUTTHISISWHEREIGOTMYBIGBREAK!
Bowser: It doesn't matter! LET'S GO!
Bowser walks ten feet to an allyway.
Bandit: What'll it be?
Bowser: The custom.
Bandit: Ah.
Bandit brings out a giant mororcycle in the shape of The Underchomp.
Bandit: Enjoy.
Bandit takes some guy's wallet, and gets arrested five seconds later.
Bowser: Let's GO!
Bowser shoves Kamek in one of The Underchomp's teeth and drives off.
Petey: WAIT, EVERYONE'S A STEP AHEAD OF US?!
Boomer: GET THE CLUE FROM THE BOX!
Petey grabs the clue.
Petey: Acting.
Boomer: I'LL TAKE IT! STALL THE OTHER GUYS!
Boomer steals some guy's car and drives off.
Some Guy: DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?!
Team Mario
Luigi: GIVE ME THE CLUE, MARIO!
Mario throws up the clue.
Luigi: That's disgusting.
Luigi starts to grab the clue, when Petey sweeps goop all over the ground and throws two other clues inside the box over the ground.
Luigi: Mamamia... Now how am I going to find it?
Petey: YEAH! STALLING POWER!
Luigi searches frantically while Mario makes scum angels.
Iggy and Boomer - Acting Challenge
A glasses-wearing Iggy and a paranoid Boomer enter the theater
Boomer: I GOT HERE FIRST, KID!
Iggy: NO! I DID!
Boomer: WELL, I'M GOING ON FIRST!
Iggy: BRING IT!
Iggy and Boomer do a REAL professional wrestling match. Eventually, both get into a headlock.
Iggy: I WILL GIVE YOU TEN DOLLARS FOR THAT SPOT!
Boomer: IT'S MINE! AND DOLLARS DON'T EXIST ON PLIT!
Suddenly, thunderous applause is heard. Iggy and Boomer are shocked to see a full audience, not to mention the judges, in front of them
Both: Uh... uh...
All: BRILLIANT! YOU BOTH WILL GO ON!
Iggy and Boomer bow, take their clues, and run from mobs of fans
Iggy: THIS IS A LOT MORE FUN THAN I THOUGHT!
Boomer: Get used to it kid... We're stars now.
Iggy: Stars...
Boomer and Iggy arrive.
Petey: YAY! YOU'RE HERE!
Suddenly, all of the goop dries up. Luigi grabs the clue.
Larry and Boomer: QUICK! OPEN IT!
All three teams open it at the same time
All Three: TO BOOSTER TOWER!
Larry and Iggy run off, forgetting about limos. Petey starts flying, and Luigi tries to get Mario out of his scum angel
Mario: It's-a pretty!
Luigi: NO IT'S NOT!
Luigi flings Mario so hard, Mario goes straight through a building. Then, an alarm is heard, and several criminals bust out
Luigi: NO! NO! NOOOOOO!
Police Officer: HE'S SCREAMING NO! TAKE HIM DOWN!
The police hit Mario and Luigi with tranquilizer darts.
Mario: I feel-a very good!
Of course, Mario doesn't know the meaning of "tranquilizer", so he picks up Luigi and runs at lightning speed to Booster's Tower.
Police Officer: That boy is going to kill us all someday.
Team Koopa - First at Booster's Tower
Bowser: ALL RIGHT! WE'RE FIRST!
Kamek: Hm... It seems to be the hardest Pipe Path yet.
Bowser: And a Flutter Challenge... But, it's not like that matters. It's probably used up anyway.
Kamek: Yeah, that Dryest Bones is just one atomic bomb waiting to happen. Well, we might as well choose. Torte or Torture?
The Dryest Bones: In Torte, teams must travel to Marrymore and to Chef Torte's kitchen. It is there that they must create a cullinary masterpiece to impress the good chef with. It can be an appatizer to a main course to a desert, as long as it's impressive. If Torte likes it, he will hand them their next clue. If not, he will throw the dish at his chefs. This challenge could take a long time, but experienced chefs could pass by quickly... right, it's just going to be a long challenge. In Torture, teams must just walk into Booster's room and keep him entertained. If Booster is entertained for an entire hour, a Snifit will hand them their next clue. This could be pretty short. However, if Booster is bored for even a second, the entire challenge must start over again.
Bowser: Torte. No way we could survive Mr. Crazy and the Insane Train.
Kamek: But didn't you beat him?
Bowser: YEAH, BUT WITH SUPPORT! ALONE, WE'RE DOOMED!
Kamek: Point taken. Then again, I'm not the best chef either.
Bowser: Yeah... You were the one that gave Ludwig and I heartburn. I thank you for that, since it was literal and let us breathe fire.
Kamek: Actually, that's not the reason-
Bowser: JUST GO!
Bowser throws Kamek out of a window. Suddenly, Mario bursts into the room with a sleeping Luigi
Bowser: WHATZA... HOW DID YOU GET HERE SO FAST?!
Mario: Tranquilizers make-a me run fast! CHEESE!
Bowser: Well, you aren't the sharpest tool in the shed. But, I think I'll end your possible lead over us...
Bowser breathes fire on the floor, causing it to burn. The entire floor collapses, and Luigi wakes up.
Luigi: Hey, we're here... WHAAAAA! WE'RE FALLING! MARIO, WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Mario is sleeping, because the tranquilizer dart is out of his body.
Luigi: Of course... Wait, did I hear Bowser?
Bowser has already left, and a paper doll of him has been left in his place.
Luigi: Never mind...
Mario and Luigi crash. The other teams arrive.
Iggy: Wha? Now how do we get up?
Boomer: I dunno about you, but this should be easy for us. PETEY!
Petey: Right.
Petey charges Boomer with energy and throws him through Booster's door. Petey then does the same to himself.
Boomer: I MEANT FLY!
Petey: I wanted to mix it up.
Booster: HEY! YOU GUYS HERE TO PLAY FOR THE PIPE PATH CHALLENGE?!
Boomer: What awesome luck. Why yes, yes we...
Booster: YAY!
Booster starts chasing after Petey and Boomer with a giant train while Snifits shoot at them.
Petey: WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Boomer: I DUNNO!
Booster: STAY IN PLACE AND LET ME HIT YOU!
Meanwhile...
Larry: What's happening up there?
Iggy: I think that's Booster's room.
Larry: Oh...
The clue box drops on Larry's head.
Larry: OWWWWWWW!
Iggy: Well then, it appears that entertaining Booster was an actual challenge. The other one is cooking for Chef Torte.
Larry: Well, it looks like King Dad took the Torte challenge. Wonder how he's doing.
With Torte...
Chef Torte: SAC RE BLEU! HOW DID YOU BURN DOWN MY ENTIRE KITCHEN IN TWELVE SECONDS?!
Bowser: Well... yeah, funny story actually.
Kamek: He couldn't get the oven working.
Chef Torte: REBUILD NOW!
Bowser: Fine... KAMEK! REBUILD NOW!
Kamek: Fine... Wait, WHAT?!
Torte and Bowser: REBUILD THE KITCHEN!
Kamek: I hate them both so much... All right...
Booster's Tower...
Iggy: Well, we might as well head over there.
Larry: Evil chef over insane man-child every day.
Iggy and Larry walk off.
Luigi: Ung...
Luigi tries to get up. Suddenly, Mario grabs his hand.
Luigi: Mario?
Mario: Luigi, we've been through a lot lately. And, it's my goal to keep us in this thing. We are the best there is, and no one can stop us! Now, LET'S GO TO VICTORY!
Mario throws Luigi inside Booster's door.
Luigi: Was that really Mario?
Luigi looks down and sees Mario drawing on the wall... with saliva.
Luigi: Nope, just some other idiot.
Mario: I'M-A IDIOT!
Mario is suddenly behind Luigi.
Luigi: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!
Luigi falls out of the tower in fear.
Mario: I'm-a Mario!
Booster: I'm BOOSTER! WHEE!
Mario and Booster begin playing like two idiots, while Boomer and Petey rock themselves inside straightjackets.
Boomer: Find... happy... place...
Petey gets run over by the train.
Boomer: Not... finding... well...
Chef Torte Challenge
Kamek has finished rebuilding the kitchen
Chef Torte: BACK TO WORK!
Kamek whips up a gigantic feast while Bowser just fans himself.
Bowser: You sure you don't want me to help?
Kamek: If you help, we're doomed. Well, I have to go to the bathroom. MAN THE FORT!
Bowser is already asleep.
Kamek: VERY GOOD THEN!
Kamek walks into a bathroom. Suddenly, Iggy and Larry walk inside the room with a bag of moldy tacos.
Iggy: You think these tacos I've been saving will work?
Larry: If they don't, it's not like it matters.
Iggy starts to place the tacos on a plate. He succeeds when Torte walks in. In a panic, Iggy sets the tacos down and runs back to Larry.
Torte: MI AMORE! DID YOU TWO DO THIS?!
Iggy: Pretty much. Nature did the rest.
Torte: IT'S WONDERFUL!
Of course, Larry and Iggy don't notice they're standing next to Kamek's feast.
Larry: Well, we try our best.
Torte: HERE IS YOUR CLUE!
Torte hands the boys a clue.
Larry: OH YEAH! PITSTOP ON THUNDER ISLAND!
Iggy: Isn't that the place inside the giant tornado on a raging sea?
Larry: ... Crud.
Iggy: Now, what would Lemmy do right now...?
Iggy gets a vision of Lemmy being slowly lowered by vines into a cauldron of nice things that he doesn't like. Cranky Kong is wearing an executioner's mask, and DK is wearing a crown and pointing his thumb down.
Iggy: No, that can't be it.
Little does Iggy know that the specific event he saw was actually happening.
Larry: Look, let's just rob someone nearby...
One minute later, Iggy and Larry are riding away on a cloud.
Iggy: Well, all we had to do was make that Nimbi cry...
Kamek comes out of the restroom. Torte judges the tacos.
Torte: THESE ARE DISGUSTING! COMPLETE DO OVER!
Kamek: THAT TOOK ALL OF MY EFFORT!
Torte: TRY HARDER NEXT TIME!
Torte walks away.
Kamek: Why that no good... WHAAAAAAAA!
Kamek has a mental breakdown. Bowser wakes up
Bowser: WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER?!
Bowser starts beating Kamek up.
Booster's Tower
Mario: I'm-a Mario!
Booster: I'm-a Booster!
Suddenly, a clock dings.
Booster: Well, time for my nap. Thanks for the fun!
Booster falls asleep like the little man-child he is. A Snifit walks up.
Snifit: THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! We couldn't get him to sleep for months! Here's your clues, boys!
Booster and Petey get out of their straightjackets and walk up to the Snifit. Mario jumps on the Snifit's head and takes the clue.
Mario: Dunununununununun Dunununununununun MARIO!
Mario jumps out of a window... right onto Luigi.
Luigi: OW! MARIO!
Luigi takes the clue from Mario.
Luigi: ALL RIGHT! PITSTOP! L-ater everyone... Wow, that was wierd.
Luigi calls up his fans to carry him to Thunder Island. Unfortunately...
Luigi: GO!
Only one really skinny person is hauling Luigi. A snail passes him.
Luigi: MUSH! MUSH!
Luigi is now whipping his fan with a whip. They get to a canyon.
Luigi: JUMP! JUMP!
The fan somehow jumps over the canyon.
Luigi: LAND! LAND!
They reach the ocean.
Luigi: SWIM! SWIM!
The fan goes into the water.
Team Muddy
Boomer: All right Petey...it's time.
Petey: You mean?
Boomer: Yeah... Fire away.
Petey eats Boomer and shoots him out of his mouth like a cannon. Petey then flies afterward. Both land on Thunder Island.
The Dryest Bones: Petey and Boomer... You're Team Number Two!
Boo: WHEEEEHEEEHEEE... LUCKY!
Petey: BUT WE'RE WINNING, RIGHT BOOMER?!
Boomer is holding himself.
Boomer: Scary... sky... Fast... mallards...
Petey: You're still freaked out about Leg 2?
Boomer nods his head while shaking. Suddenly, Ludwig walks up.
Ludwig: ALL RIGHT! I BROUGHT LEMMY!
Ludwig is holding up a badly-drawn cardboard cutout of Lemmy Koopa.
The Dryest Bones: He has no ball.
Ludwig: AAH! I FORGOT THAT! Er... I mean, I'll get right on it.
Ludwig jumps behind a cliff again. Suddenly, Iggy and Larry land.
The Dryest Bones: Iggy and Larry... You're Team Number Three.
Both: THREE?!
Boo: The freaks got here first, WEEHEEEHEEEHEE!
Team Koopa - Only Team not on Thunder Island
Chef Torte: It is... acceptable.
Kamek: YES! CLUE! NOW!
Kamek swipes the clue away.
Kamek: THUNDER ISLAND! LET'S GO!
Kamek picks up an exhausted Bowser with magic. He then splits the sea in half.
Bowser: Sooooo original.
Kamek: That was said in Leg 2.
Kamek dashes across the ocean. Suddenly, the fan that is carrying the Mario Bros. collapses... right on the finishing mat
The Dryest Bones: Mario and Luigi...
Luigi: Please say we're eliminated... Please say we're eliminated.
The Dryest Bones: You're eliminated.
Luigi: YES!
The Dryest Bones: Whoops, I meant Team Number Four.
Luigi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Boo: WEEEHEEEEHEEE! THAT'S SO MUCH FUN TO TORTURE!
Suddenly, Kamek appears over the horizon, Bowser on a magical stretcher. Ludwig then comes out behind a rock with a fully-completed cardboard Lemmy.
Ludwig: YES! I HAVE THIS ALL WRAPPED UP!
Kamek: INCREASE SPEED!
Kamek starts running like Sonic the Hedgehog in a 3D game. And by that, I mean pathetically.
Kamek: CURSE SONIC'S RUNNING LESSONS!
Ludwig has this all wrapped up... until the cardboard Lemmy gets blown away by a gust of air.
Ludwig: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Kamek has walked onto the mat.
Kamek: LORD BOWSER! IT'S TIME TO ENSURE OUR VICTORY!
Bowser slowly prances onto the area.
Bowser: YES! WE WIN! YAY!
Suddenly, by some magic or another, a loud shriek is heard. It temporarily stuns Bowser, who is leaning over the mat.
Kamek: GET ON! IGNORE THAT!
Ludwig: NO! STAY, DAD! I'LL INVENT BETTER!
Bowser begins pondering his options. The sound gets louder.
Kamek: GET ON AND FORCE YOUR KID TO DO IT!
Bowser shrugs and begins to put his foot down. Suddenly, Lemmy drops onto the mat at, to anyone's eyes, the same time that Bowser put his foot down.
The Dryest Bones: HOLY MONTY MOLEY!
Lemmy: Hi everyone! I stole Diddy's Jetpack, but then K. Rool shot me down. So here I am!
Everyone: 0.0
The Dryest Bones: I have to take this back for study.
The Dryest Bones takes a video tape into an extremely high-tech room with Boo and Francis. Several minutes later...
Francis: And, by a margin of exactly 0.471 seconds...
The Dryest Bones: We have concluded that this result will be left until the next leg to decide! Keep on racing, folks!
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO!
Boo: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Francis: Should I just say it now?
The Dryest Bones: Yes, before we lose ALL of our support.
Francis: TEAM BALL WINS! TEAM KOOPA IS ELIMINATED!
Bowser: WHAT?!
Kamek: LUDWIG WASN'T ON THE MAT!
Francis: Actually, his toe claw had slightly grown. The outer reaches of it were touching the mat at the time. Therefore, Team Ball still wins. Sorry, Team Koopa.
Bowser: You know what this means, Kamek.
Kamek: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!
Kamek tries to run away. However, Bowser uses an extremely big Magic Wand he got out of nowhere and turns Kamek into an action figures.
Lemmy: Nice doll, Dad.
Bowser: THEY'RE NOT DOLLS! THEY'RE ACTION FIGURES! WITH REAL FIRE-PUNCHING ACTION!
Francis: I FEEL THE SAME WAY!
Bowser: REALLY?! Hm...
The Dryest Bones: AND THAT CONCLUDES AN EXTREMELY MELLOWDRAMATIC EPISODE OF THE AMUSHROOM RACE! JOIN US NEXT WEEK, AND KEEP ON RACING, FOLKS!
Scoreboard:
1st: Wario and Waluigi - Team Garlic
2nd: Petey and Boomer - Team Muddy
3rd: Iggy and Larry - Team Head
4th: Mario and Luigi - Team Mario
5th: Lemmy and Ludwig - Team Ball
ELIMINATED: Bowser and Kamek - Team
Koopa
ELIMINATED: Tatanga and The King -
Team ?
ELIMINATED: Goomboss and Chief Chilly
- Team 64
HOSPITALIZED: Yoshi and Birdo - Team
Egg
HALF NON-EXISTANT: King Boo and Princess
Shroob - Team Tyrant
ELIMINATED: Rudy and Bogmire - Team
SCREAM
ELIMINATED: Peach and Toad/Fawful/Morton
- Team Puff
ELIMINATED: Wart and Shy Guy - Team
Bubble
ELIMINATED: Boolossus and Giant Dry
Bones - Team Big