CHAPTER 6: STUPID STAR STUFF
Baby Bowser lands on the Shroob mothership. Meanwhile, the Bros. are in the ship.
Luigi: Where are we?
Mario: Listen to teh narrator!
Guardian Shroob: Yeah, now I'll have to kill you!
The laser shines, meaning he'll shoot Mario, but…
Guardian Shroob: SHINY!
Then he somehow shoots himself. They soon find a dark room with a hole in the wall which they throw the Babies into.
Baby Mario: I wonder what these buttons do.
Baby Luigi: Maybe they'll change our fate!
Baby Mario: I doubt it, but I’d do anything for that possibility.
They hit all the buttons, and the whole corridor is lit up.
! Block: Oh noes! I haves nowheres to hides! Somebody kill me!
Mario shoots it with a Bullet Bill Blaster, and the gap on the other side is filled.
Luigi: Where'd you get that?
Mario: It's the same one I used to kill the tuna in the prequel, remember?
Tuna's Ghost: I was not a tuna! I was a whale!
Shut up!
Tuna's Ghost: Nevah!
Luigi sucks up the ghost, and they soon meet Peach.
Adults: Peach!
Then, she takes the Mushroom off her face and reveals herself to be-
Adults: PRINCESS SHROOB?!
Luigi: Does this mean we did the whole Thwomp Volcano adventure for nothing?
Princess Shroob: Apparently. I don't know. But the real Peach is in my castle!
Mario: So when Petey said, “Oh, she's not- Uh, I mean, she's in the other room”, he must've meant that she wasn't there, and then changed it to fool us.
Princess Shroob: Whatever. Now, men!
Some Shroobs surround the quartet.
Princess Shroob: You interlopers shall be consumed!
Luigi: You're going to eat us?
Princess Shroob: … Well, when you put it that way, of course it sounds weird!
One Shroob starts shooting all the others, and then reveals herself to be Kylie!
Mario and Luigi: Oh no, not you again!
Kylie: Yes, me again! Now follow me! ME!
They go into the next room, which is an elevator.
Kylie: When she was in the present, she was trying to takeover the present kingdom, and kill you all. If Bowser hadn't taken her to Thwomp Volcano, you'd be done for. And I have no idea how I know this. THIS!
Luigi: You know, if you fix that repeating yourself problem, you wont be as crazy as everyone else.
Kylie: Too bad! BAD!
Luigi: …
They go into the next room. Kylie then takes the useless key to the city that Mario got a few chapters ago.
Kylie: This is actually an important object for this ship! SHIP!
She inserts the key, and then the floor opens! The quartet fall, but Kylie doesn't, as she's holding on to the key.
Quartet: I HATE YOU, DAD!
Kylie: Indoor voices! VOICES!
Then some Shroobs surround her.
Shroob: Hey, Jeff. I have an idea.
Jeff: That’s not my n-
Shroob: Too bad!
The Shroob throws Not Jeff at Kylie, knocking her down the hole. Meanwhile, Baby Bowser bursts through the ceiling.
Baby Bowser: Ugh. I shouldn’t have had that last cookie. Better hide.
On Yoshi's Island…
Toadbert: I was supposed to appear in Yoob’s Belly, by boogity! I am SO going to sue P.T., by boogity! But for some reason there's something awful I seem to have forgotten, by boogity!
Kylie lands on him.
Toadbert: Hey! I remember it all now, by boogity!
Kylie: Do you always do that? THAT!
Toadbert: Yeah. Do you always to that?
Kylie: Yeah. YEAH!
Both: …
Meanwhile, in a wrecked town…
Lamek: Woah. It looks like those aliens were here. But where is here?
Dying Toad: Welcome to Toad Town! Save us! *dies*
Lamek: Two words…
Shroid: (speaking to another Shroid) Takeover of Toad Town is complete.
Lamek: Two syllables…
Skellokey: Why are pokey skeletons in Toad Town?
Love Bubble: I don’t know.
Lamek: I just can’t think of a name!
He sees a partially destroyed sign that says “Welcome to Toad Town”.
Lamek: Oh, Toad Town! Well if I was sent to where the Bros. go next, and I got sent here, that means they’ll be here! I can get the upper hand!
The quartet land on him.
Lamek: I hate you, DAD.
Luigi: I can’t shake the feeling that a recurring enemy of some sort is nearby.
Mario: Ignore that. Woah. It looks like those aliens were here. But where is here?
Another Dying Toad: Welcome to Toad Town! Save us! *dies*
Mario: Two words…
Shroid: (speaking to another shroid) Takeover of Toad Town is still complete.
Mario: Two syllables…
Skellokey: Why are Pokey skeletons in Toad Town?
Love Bubble: Again, I don’t know.
Mario: I just can’t think of a name!
He sees a partially destroyed sign that says “Welcome to Toad Town”.
Mario: Oh, Toad Town!
Stuffwell: Hey! We have-eth to go to Star Hill! There art Cobalt Star pieces there-eth! Now go into the shoppe!
Mario: Fine, just be quiet.
They go into a shop. Lamek (still squashed) runs off.
Granny Red: Hi!
Granny Green: Hi!
Granny Blue: Hi!
Granny Yellow: Hi!
Granny Purple: Hi!
Granny Black: Hi!
Granny White: Hi!
Granny Orange: Hi!
Granny Pink: Hi!
A zillion other different-colored grannies: Hi!
Mario: Isn’t there supposed to be only two of you?
GR, GG, GB, GY, GP, GB, GW, GO, GP, and AZOD-CG: Silence, nonbeliever!
Mario: Right… Do you have a Wii?
GR, GG, GB, GY, GP, GB, GW, GO, GP, and AZOD-CG: We only trade. Got anything to trade?
Mario: Hmmm. Why, yes! I have a “magical” talking suitcase! Here you go!
He gives Stuffwell (tied and gagged) to Granny Red.
Granny Red: We’ll take it!
Granny Green: How come you always speak first?!
Granny Mauve: How come I always speak 2,436,612th?!
Granny Burnt Sienna: Consider yourself lucky!
They all get into a fight. The quartet leaves before it gets ugly.
Luigi: Too bad we never got that Wii.
Mario: At least we got rid of Stuffwell. That’s its own reward!
Baby Mario: Now if only we can get rid of these idiots.
Baby Luigi: You said it.
Mario takes a laser off of a Shroid’s arm, and blasts the walls. Then he runs to a time hole. The Luigis follow.
Luigi: What are you doing?
Mario: We need to go to back to the future! It’ll be a great way to split this chapter into two chapters!
Luigi: Why should we do that?
Mario: Because the next chapter will be a very important one, so we can’t attach it to this chapter! We’ll just have to find a way to split this chapter up! And we did! Now go into the pipe!
Luigi: Fine.
They jump in.
How and why did the Guardian Shroob eat itself? Why would Princess Shroob
eat the quartet? Why didn’t Toadbert appear when he should have? What does
Toadbert remember? Why does it take so long for people to notice they’re
in Toad Town? Why are Pokey skeletons in Toad Town? Will Stuffwell return?
Which granny will win the fight? Will Mario and Luigi ever get a Wii? Tune
in!
CHAPTER 7: STUPID STAR STUFF (part 2)
Luigi: It can't be a new chapter and a part two at once!
And yet it's there, anyway.
Fawful: Hello, as in not goodbye, red and green men who fill me with rage like coffee filling a mug.
Mario: Oh great. You and your twisted metaphors/similes.
Fawful: Yes! I have come back to haunt you, like a bean burrito!
Luigi: You're nasty!
Fawful: Yes, as I am the rotten milk that was made by a cow who was insane, and milked by a drunk farmer!
Luigi: …
Baby Mario: I have a feeling that just you and me will go on an adventure, and it'll involve him and a witch.
Baby Luigi: I doubt it.
Mario: What do you want from us?
Fawful: Beans!
Mario gives him a can of beans.
Fawful: Thanking you! I'm happy like a schoolgirl who got the hottest guy there! Or a little kid opening boxes contained with joy-inducing items on a day referred to as Christmas!
Luigi: Quick! Before another psychotic simile or messed-up metaphor, get into the time hole!
They jump in.
Fawful: How dare you be ditching me like a date who was stood up! I am angry like a bull who's seen red! In the case of mine, red and green!
But wasn't your original color scheme red and green?
Fawful: You are right like a genius at a science fair! I must commit suicide!
Fawful jumps off a building, as the quartet make it to Star Hill. More specifically, Commander Shroob.
Commander Shroob: Oh DAD! ARMY! UFO GUY! COME!
They come. However, the Shroob-omb in the UFO was already lit, and it explodes in the UFO, killing the army and pilot.
Commander Shroob: …
Then Stuffwell lands on the Commander.
Mario: Huh?
Stuffwell: The grannies didn't want-eth me after all. So they threw-eth me all the way across-eth the kingdom to here.
Commander Shroob: AHH! YOU'RE SO ANNOYING! MAY ALL YOUR CHEESE-
Mario: My clone likes cheese. I like pasta.
Commander Shroob: -I MEAN, PASTA HAVE FOOD POISONING!
The Commander explodes, and the gang make it to an altar of some sort.
Star Sprite: Hi!
Baby Luigi: AAAAHHHH!!!
Baby Mario: What?
Baby Luigi: I get the feeling that that's actually a scary monster of some sort.
Star Sprite: Collect the shards, if you want to beat the Shroobs. Princess Shroob broke the shard. Now go to Star Temple.
She fades, and a bridge forms. They go across, and enter Star Temple!
Gate: If you'd like to pass, I’ll have to see if you’re prepared. I don’t need to check the babies, as they’re just babies, meaning they’re innocent enough. Red man with mustache-
Mario: Mario. And this is Luigi
Gate: Okay. Mario, step forth! Hmm. Yes. I see. Ah. Wow! Oh my DAD! Wait, what? Oh! Cool! I wish I was there! Amazing! Sweet! Oh yeah! Okay, it’s settled! I’ve seen all your great feats, and have been impressed. You’re made fun of and portrayed as a mental retard on a website of some sort, and you eat a bit too much food. Promise to try to clear your name and cut back on the snacks, and I’ll let you through.
Mario: Okay.
Gate: Now for Luigi. Hmm. Uh-huh… Oh my. Oh my DAD, what is that?! Ew! I’m going to hurl! What on Plit? I’m glad I wasn’t there. Oh he did not just do that. Okay. Luigi…
Luigi: Yes?
Gate: YOU MAY NOT PASS!
Luigi: WHAT?!
Gate: You heard me! However, you can do one of three things. One, leave Luigi behind…
Mario: We can’t, most puzzles require four people.
Gate: Two, go back home and forget the adventure…
Mario: Then we won’t get our paychecks for saving Peach and the past kingdom!
Gate: Then that leaves three, hit the Aurora Block.
Luigi: Wait! I have another idea!
Luigi leaves, and comes back with a battering ram.
Luigi: CHARGE!
He rams the gate, breaking it. The two pieces fall to the ground. But then the battering ram breaks. Soon…
Piranha Planet and Wonder Thwack: Die!
A Piranha Plant sticks its head out of a pipe, but a small moon that revolves around the planet smacks it in the head, making it dizzy. It shoots a laser at the Wonder Thwack by mistake, and it smashes the planet, which retaliates by shooting lasers. Eventually, they both die.
Quartet: …
They then go around, hitting star blocks and causing a platform to appear in the middle.
Luigi: Actually, we could only hit certain ones-
Mario: Too bad!
They go into the pipe in the middle, and soon enter a room with a shard that Mario takes! Just then, a Lakitu floats by, carrying Toadbert, Kylie, and a small, hooded figure.
Toadbert: I just remembered everything, by boogity! I had a shard with me the whole time, by boogity! But completing the Cobalt Star will only make things worse, by boogity!
Mario: What?!
Luigi: Maybe saying “by boogity” so much is why you didn’t appear in the Yoob chapter.
Kylie: Actually, it’s because P.T. didn’t have the game when he was writing that chapter. He was going by the strategy guide, and it didn’t mention him in that part of the book. But he got the game when he was writing the Gritzy Desert chapter. This is also the reason he didn’t have Toadiko appear. APPEAR!
Toadbert: I must not let you complete the Cobalt Star!
Toadbert runs off, and Kylie follows. The hooded figure reveals itself to be a Goomba!
Quartet: Huh?
The Goomba then puts on a bright green sombrero! It’s Lamek!
Mario: You!
Lamek: You! I must kill you!
Luigi: Why?
Lamek: Because you just flew through the Baby Bowser’s Castle chapter!
Quartet: …
Lamek: What?
Mario: Well, you extended it.
Lamek: Oh. Well, there was that time in Toad Town when you all landed on me! I must kill you for that!
Luigi: We didn’t see you!
Lamek: Oh. Then I have no beef with you… IS THAT MY WALLET?!
Baby Luigi is seen holding Lamek’s wallet.
Lamek: DIE!
Mario kicks him off the edge. The gang continue and see a similar room. Kylie is unconscious. Toadbert is nearly unconscious.
Toadbert: Mario, rub the dirt off my picture that you somehow got back from Gadd…
Mario grabs the stylus, and rubs the dirt off. He notices another figure in the bottom-right corner.
Mario: Who’s that?
Toadbert: That’s Princess Shroob, by boogity…
Mario: Then who’s the other figure?
Toadbert: That’s-
Then, two lightning bolts hit Toadbert and Kylie. They’re turned into Mushrooms!
Mario: Crud! It happened just before he revealed who it was!
Luigi: At least we don’t have to deal with them, anymore!
Mario: Happies!
Elder Shrooboid comes out.
Elder: Ha ha! You can’t jump on me!
Luigi walks up to him, and snaps the spikes off his head.
Elder: $^(%(#$%%^$%$##$#)!
Mario: Was that swearing, or your native tongue?
Elder: I don’t know.
The quartet jump on his head until he dies. Then Mario takes the shard from Toadbert.
Luigi: Just one more!
They go into the time hole, and return to the present. What was up with Fawful and his insane metaphors/similes? Why did Fawful want beans? Why was the Shroob-omb already lit? Why was Baby Luigi scared of the Star Sprite? What caused the gate’s reactions when checking Luigi? Will Lamek ever be reunited with his wallet? If the obscured picture in the sketch was Princess Shroob, who was the other figure? What will happen to Toadbert and Kylie? Was Elder Shrooboid cursing, or just speaking in his native language? Why did some chapters not have questions at the end? Tune in!