Tin Mario

By Crazy Koopa

Chapter 5: Storming Koopa Bros. Fortress

Last time, Mario and Co. beat the Crystal King and Lemmy and rescued the Star Spirit Kalmar. They also got blown up by the bomb inside the palace after the Construction Koopas got the mirrors. Now Mario and Co. have been blasted ALL the way to Goomba Village.

Mario and Co. except Watt and Lakilester: ...hhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Watt and Lakilester: ...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!


Mario: X_X



Mario: Ugh... Where are we?

Toad: In Goomba Village!

Mario: Hey! Why can't I move?!

Toad: RPG Laws and Adventure Game Laws clearly state, that you can't get off the bed until you're fully healed!

Mario: ...

Hours later...

Mario: ...

Toad: Thank you for using the Toad House! Now go away!

Mario and Co. leave the house. Mario approaches Goompapa.

Mario: Uhh... Is this the way out?

Goompapa: Yes indeed!

Mario: Can I go?

Goompapa: No!

Mario: Why?

Goompapa: RPG Laws and Adventure Game Laws clearly state that you can't leave certain places until you do something!

Mario: ... What problem is here?

Goompapa: Goompa is missing!

Mario: How do you know? And can't you rescue him yourself?

Goompapa: Do not question things you cannot understand.

Mario: ...

Lakilester: I get to say something! SOMETHING!

Mario: Ugh... P.T.'s Kylie Koopa speech.

Lakilester: Well let's go! GO!

Mario: ...

Mario and Co. go inside the house and ask where Goompa was.

Mario: Where was Goompa last?

Gooma: This forest used to be all city! Far as the eye could see!

Mario: ... Well?

Gooma: I knitted your socks, Goombario!

Mario: ...

Goomama: Don't mind her, she's just deaf. Now what can I do you for?

Mario: ... Goompa?

Goomama: You're looking for Goompa? Great! He was on the veranda!

Mario and Co. go to the veranda but...

Mario: ...

Sushie: ...

Watt: Yay!

Lakilester: Yay! YAY!

Mario: ... AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Mario and Co. fall down.



Mario: ... Ow...

Goompa: Hi, I'm Goompa! Are you rescuing me like Goompapa said?

Mario: Yes... How did you know?

Goompa: Magic!

Mario: ... How can you use magic?

Goompa: Do not question things you cannot understand.

Mario: ...

Goompa: Now rescue me!

Mario: Ok...

Goompa: You need to find a Hammer to move on!

Mario: But we have a Hammer!

Goompa: Too Ultra!

Than a random Hammer Bro. walks by and whacks the block in the way.

Mario: ...

Goompa: Good job!

???: HOLD IT!

Mario: Oh no, not again...

Bowser Jr: I'M BACK!

Mario: Ugh...


Flavio enters.

Flavio: Flavio says Flavio wants to fight!

Mario: 45 HP
Lakilester: 40 HP
Bowser Jr: 99 HP
Flavio: 30 HP

Bowser Jr: ^v^ I have the maximum HP!

Mario: V_V Ugh...

Flavio pulls out the Flaming Sword that was made from the screaming souls of his former crewmates from Flame Chocobo's Scribble.

Flavio: NOW WE DUEL!

Everyone: O_o? Why are you fighting in the first place?

Flavio: Flavio is bored!

Everyone: ...

Mario: Mega Smash!
Flavio: 20 HP

Lakilester: Spiny Surge! SURGE!
Bowser Jr: 94 HP
Flavio: 15 HP

Flavio: Ouch I say! DIE!
Lakilester: 1 HP PERIL!!!

Mario: O_O His sword does 99 percent of our HP!

Bowser Jr.: ^v^ Yay for the author!

Mario: >_< Curse you, Author!

Just for that, I'm doing this!

The author attacks Mario with HOLY AUTHOR POWER!!!
Mario: 1 HP PERIL!

Bowser Jr: ^v^

Mario: Ow...

Bowser Jr: Goop Shot!
Mario: 0 HP!
Mario: ...
Mario is revived!
Bowser Jr: <_< What?
Mario does have Life Shrooms.
Mario: I actually forgot about them! Mega Smash
Flavio: 5 HP
Oh wait... I forgot Lakilester is revived too.

Lakilester: Spiny Surge! SURGE!
Bowser Jr: 89 HP
Flavio: 0 HP!
Flavio: Flavio will remember this!
Flavio runs away to Rogueport.
Mario: Anyways...

Bowser Jr: Paint!
Bowser Jr. paints the Paint Monster!
Paint Monster: -1 HP
Mario: O_o?
That means he is invincible.
Mario: >_<

Lakilester: Spiny Flip! FLIP!
Bowser Jr: 84 HP

Mario: Mega Smash!
Bowser Jr: 74 HP

Bowser Jr: Thief Shell Toss!
Mario: 40 HP
Bowser Jr. stole a Life Shroom!

Paint Monster: ROAR!
Paint Monster is charging!

Mario: Mega Smash!
Bowser Jr: 64 HP

Lakilester: Spiny Flip! FLIP!
Bowser Jr: 59 HP

Mario: 1 HP PERIL!
Lakilester: 1 HP PERIL!
Bowser Jr: 1 HP
Paint Monster: -1 HP

Mario: Stupid move. Ultra Hammer!
Bowser Jr: 0 HP!
Bowser Jr. is revived!
Mario: ... I forgot he stole that Life Shroom.
Bowser Jr: 10 HP

Paint Monster: ROAR!
Paint Monster is charging!

Mario: Mega Smash!
Bowser Jr: 0 HP!
Bowser Jr: Grr... I'll remember this!
Bowser Jr. jumps away!

Paint Monster: ...
Paint Monster is destroyed!


Mario: That was strange...

Goompa: You're slow! I'm already back at the village!

Mario: ...

Mario and Co. go all the way back to the village.

Goombario: Goompa! You're safe!

Mario: Say, couldn't you guys save Goompa yourself?

Goombario: Three different ways to tell you...

Mario: DON'T TELL ME! Reason one, you all are lazy! Reason two, RPG Laws and Adventure Laws clearly state that the main character has to rescue the people! Reason three, do not question things you cannot understand!

Goombario: Exactly.

Mario: ...

Goombario: Now I join you!

Mario: Ok.

Goombario joins the Party! In battle he can Headbonk stuff and Tattle on them! Outside of battle, he can say useless things! Sometimes he says helpful things... but mostly useless things.

Goombario: I don't get it...

Also various blunt objects will fall on him!

Goombario: WHAT?!

Mr. Big Shoe falls on Goombario, than Mr. Weight falls on Mr. Big Shoe and Goombario.

Goombario: Ow...

Mario: ... We'll be going now.

Goompapa: You still can't leave!

Mario: Why?

Goompapa: Because you have to beat...

The background changes...

Goompapa: ...A QUIZ!

Mario: ...

Goompapa: Question 1: Why are you on this quest? A: None of the above. B: To revive a 1,000-year-old demon. C: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF D: Pie...

Mario: A.

Goompapa: HA! That was a trick question! It said "None of the ABOVE"! Nothing is above it! You lose that question!

Mario: ...

Goompapa: Question 2: Listen to this laugh: "Buh huh huh!" Who says that? A: Lord Crumpet. B: Lord Crumple. C: Lord Person-Who-Hates-Being-Called-Lord-Crumpet-In-Maguskoopa's-Fun-Fiction. D: Lord Crump.

Mario: D.

Goompapa: Ok! Question 3: What's messed up here? A: There isn't supposed to be a quiz here. B: This entire Fun Fiction. C: The fact that Mario can talk. D: "It's Lord Crumpet- I mean, CRUMP!"

Mario: D.

Goompapa: Correct! That's from an Interview! Question 4: Who says, "Flavio says Flavio is the answer to this question!" A: Lord Crump. B: Goompapa. C: Flavio. D: Lord Crump, Grodus, Petunia, Lily, Wise Wisterwood, Mario, TEC, the Shadow Queen, The King, the announcer guy on commercials, HAHAHAHA!, and E. Gadd.

Mario: C.

Goompapa: NOOOOOOOOO! You passed! Now you can continue!

The background changes back.

Mario: ... Freak.

Mario and Co. continue and kill Goombas along the way. Mario and Co. enter Red and Blue Goombas' battle place.

Red Goomba: You can't pass!


Red Goomba: Grr... I HATE EVERYONE!


Blue Goomba: *sniff* WAHHHHHHHHH!!!

Mario: Uhh...

Mario throws Red Goomba in Blue Goomba's wide open, wailing mouth.

Red Goomba: Your saliva feels like dying! AND I HATE THAT!

What the? That doesn't make sense! It's supposed to be stomach acid!

Red Goomba: So?


Blue Goomba: I'm so sad! WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Mario and Co. enter the area with the Goomba King's fortress.

Goomba King: You defeated my minions!

Mario: ...

Red and Blue Goomba: Someone used the Vibe Scepter on us! Now it wore off!

Mario: Oh... That explains why you were acting weird.

Red and Blue Goomba: FUSION!

Red and Blue Goomba combine and make a Purple Goomba.

Purple Goomba: I shall destroy you!

Goomba King: Hey, you're not Blue or Red Goomba! DIE!

The Goomba King kills Purple Goomba, than chucks Purple Goomba off the cliff. Than the Goomba King jumps down after it and dies.

Mario: Why is everything getting so random and more stupider than usual?

I'm bored...

Mario: Oh.

Mario checks the bushes and presses the switch that comes out, than the Goomba King appears from the fortress.

Mario: O_o? I thought you fell off the cliff!

Goomba King: No, that was my clone!

Mario: ...

Goomba King: YOU WHAT?! I must protect the fortress!

Mario: What did we do?

Lakilester: I don't know! KNOW!

Goombario: I don't know!

Watt: I don't know!

Sushie: I don't know!

Mario: ...

BOOM! The tower falls and makes a bridge to the other side.

Mario: Let's go.

Mario and Co. enter the fortress and find...

Goomba Kings: HI, MARIO!

Mario: ... How many of you are there?

Goomba King #9,348,726,382: About 23,109,130,192,938,324,239,742,384,720 of us. There was 23,109,130,192,938,324,239,742,384,722 of us, but those two died for no reason!

Mario: How is it physically possible to fit all you Goomba Kings in here?

Goomba Kings: Do not question things you cannot understand.

Mario: ...

Mario and Co. leave but find...

Boom Boom: If you want to pass, you have to beat me first!

Mario jumps on Boom Boom 3 times, and a ? Ball appears. Mario than grabs it.


The Goomba Kings' fortress explodes, sending all the Goomba Kings everywhere. It also sends Mario and Co. to Koopa Village.


Sushie and Goombario: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Watt: WEEEEEE!!!


Random Guy: Wii!

Mario: Ow...

Koopa: Hello! Welcome to Koopa Village!

Mario: Is there a problem?

Koopa: Nope! We killed all the Fuzzies except for Kooper.

Mario: Who is Kooper?

Koopa: Kooper is a blue-shelled Koopa that lives in that house over there.

The Koopa points to a HUGE mansion.

Mario: O_O  Doesn't he have servants?

Koopa: What? Oh, I was pointing at the place next to it!

The Koopa points to a cardboard box.

Mario: ...

Mario and Co. go to the box.

Kooper: STAY OUT!

Mario and Co. enter.

Kooper: Hello! Would you like some tea?

Mario: O_o?  What happened to the Fuzzy?

Kooper: He is having tea!

Fuzzy: Quite so!

Mario: ... You're supposed to join us.

Kooper: All right.

Kooper joins the Party! In battle he can attack an enemy on the ground with his Shell Toss! Or he can attack all ground enemies with his Power Shell! Outside of battle, he can be kicked to far away places and grab things or hit switches!

Mario: Now we go to Koopa Bros. Fortress!

Kooper: How do you know?

Mario: The title of this Chapter says "Storming Koopa Bros. Fortress!"

Kooper: Oh! It's over there!

Kooper points to a fortress about 100 steps away.

Mario: Now that is some fortress!

Kooper: Actually, I was pointing at the place next to it!

Kooper points to an even bigger fortress that's about 1,000 steps away.

Mario: O_O

Mario and Co. walk to the fortress...


General Guy: All right, men! Did you prepare the ship?

Tribal Guy: Yes, oh great god!

General Guy: Great!

Back to Mario and Co...

Mario: We're finally here...

Black Ninjakoopa: ACK! IT'S MARIO!


Black Ninjakoopa: *sniff* WAHHHHHHHH!!!

Mario: ...

Mario and Co. pass him and enter the fortress.

Mario: We're in! Now where do we go?

Mario and Co. notice a sleeping Koopa.

Koopa: Zzz...

Mario: Uhh...

Koopa: Zzz...


Koopa: I'm so happy! I'm giving you a present!

The Koopa gives Mario the key.

Mario: Uhh... Thanks?

Mario and Co. enter and find more Koopas.

Green Ninjakoopa: IT'S MARIO! Throw this key in the cell, darn it!


Green Ninjakoopa: *yawn* I'm so sleepy...

Green Ninjakoopa falls asleep.

Green Ninjakoopa: Zzz...

Mario: ...

Mario and Co. continue and enter a room with those weird stairs.

Mario: DIE, KOOPA!

Koopa: NO!




The author got Super Princess Peach.

Mario: So?

That means the author heard about the Vibe Scepter, so now he went to Vibe Island and got it. Now he's using it like crazy, including on this chapter.

Mario: Why?

The Koopa Bros' colors! They almost match the colors of the Vibes. Red will get Angry, Green will get Calm, Yellow will get Happy, and Black will get Gloom.

Mario: Ok, that makes sense. Now back to the battle... DIE!

Koopa: OW! ME KILL!

The Koopa charges at Mario but misses completely and dies.

Mario: I knew it...

Than a switch falls from the sky.

Mario: Switch!

Mario presses the switch and the stairs go down.

Mario: Let's go!

Mario and Co. go down the stairs and into an open room full of Angry Koopa Troopas and one Happy Paratroopa.

Angry Koopas: WE'RE SO ANGRY!

Happy Paratroopa: I'm so happy!

Angry Koopas: DIE!

The Koopas kill each other and make the doors come down.

Mario: ...

Mario and Co. continue and find a room with Firebars, a key, and a thin strip floor. Mario and Co. manage to get to the key without getting burned, except Goombario gets burned 10 times.

Goombario: ...

Mario and Co. go back and go up that stairs and into the next room. In that very room, someone is making a trap.

Yellow Ninjakoopa: Perfect! Now to...


Yellow Ninjakoopa: I'm so happy!

Yellow Ninjakoopa floats all the way to the top of the room. Than Mario and Co. go all the way to the top and hit the ? Block that Yellow Ninjakoopa used to activate the trap.

Mario: ... What kind of idiot makes a trapdoor that opens away from the person?

Yellow Ninjakoopa (from the top of the room): Could you jump in it?

Mario: Ok.

Mario and Co. jump down the hole and find themselves in a prison.

Bombette: Hi! We're locked in a dungeon that is cracked so a Bob-omb can blow up that part of the wall and let everyone escape! But we can't escape!

Mario: ... Did you try exploding that crack over there?

Bombette: Why didn't I think of that?

Bombette goes over to the crack and blows it up and makes a hole in the wall.

Bombette: Thanks! I'll join you!

Bombette joins the Party! In battle she can Body Slam her opponents or explode them with her Bomb attack! Outside of battle, she can explode cracked walls!

Mario: Let's go!

Mario and Co. continue and go back to the room where they fell. Than Mario and Co. enter the room where Green Ninjakoopa put the key, only on the second floor. Mario and Co. manage to get across. Then Mario and Co. continue until they find another switch and another locked door.

Mario: Press switch...

The stairs go down. Mario and Co. go down and enter the room where Green Ninjakoopa put the key... and himself...

Green Ninjakoopa: Zzz...

Mario: ...

Mario blows up the wall with Bombette and takes the key and goes back up the stairs and opens the door. Now they find themselves at the beginning of the Fortress, only on the second floor.

Mario: Another switch...

Mario presses the switch, which makes the stairs from the water go up. Mario and Co. continue and take the Hammer Charge Badge and then exit to an outside part of the Fortress.

Mario: Let's go!

Mario and Co. continue but...

Red Ninjakoopa: HOLD IT! You can't continue! All right, boys, open fire!

Black Ninjakoopa: But I'm so sad! WAHHHHHHHH!!!

Green Ninjakoopa: Zzz...

Yellow Ninjakoopa: I'm so happy!

Mario: How did they get up here?

Red Ninjakoopa: Magic!

Mario: But you guys don't know magic!

Red Ninjakoopa: ... It's called ninja magic! It's also called stealth!

Mario: Ah...

Red Ninjakoopa: Ok... OPEN FIRE ALREADY!

Bill Blaster: You forgot to put in Bullet Bills!

Red Ninjakoopa: Crud...

The Koopa Bros. escape, except for Green, who is dragged in by Yellow.

Mario: Odd...

Partners: Yes they are!

Lakilester: ARE!

Mario: ...

Mario and Co. follow the Koopa Bros. and enter their arena.

Larry: Finally! I got bored!

Koopa Bros: GET IN HERE!

Larry: Fine...

Larry goes to the backside of the arena.

Mario: Guess we wait...

Hours later...

Mario and Co: Zzz...

Koopa Bros. and Larry: WE'RE READY!

Mario: Huh...? Oh right! WE FIGHT!

Bowser???: GWAHAHAHA!!! I'm Bowser! Now we fight!


Mario: 45 HP
Bombette: 40 HP
Bowser???: 10 HP

Mario: You're kidding... right?


Mario: ... This will be easy! MEGA SMASH!
Bowser???: 0 HP!

Koopa Bros. and Larry: NOW WE FIGHT!


With the Koopa Bros' Vibe Power, their HP has risen!

Angry Red Ninjakoopa: 30 HP
Happy Yellow Ninjakoopa: 30 HP
Calm Green Ninjakoopa: 30 HP
Gloom Black Ninjakoopa: 30 HP
Larry: 20 HP

Angry Red Ninjakoopa: Grr... ATTACK!
The Koopa Bros. stack on top each other and do their special attack, only different.
Mario: 41 HP
Bombette: 36 HP
Mario is Calm!
Bombette is Angry!

Bombette: Grr...
Angry Red Ninjakoopa: 25 HP
Happy Yellow Ninjakoopa: 25 HP
Calm Green Ninjakoopa: 25 HP
Gloom Black Ninjakoopa: 25 HP
The Koopa Bros. have been flipped!

Larry: How did you hurt them all?

Mario: Probably the vibe... Zzz...
Mario is asleep!
Mario recovers from all the damage from earlier!

Larry: Wand Blast!
Mario: Zzz...
Larry's attack was useless!
Larry: Why?
Did you notice the Calm Bubble around him?
Larry: No.
Well he has a Calm Bubble around him! You know, like Bowser 2 and Gooper Blooper!
Larry: Oh...

Mario: Zzz...

Bombette: Grr...
Angry Red Ninjakoopa: 20 HP
Happy Yellow Ninjakoopa: 20 HP
Calm Green Ninjakoopa: 20 HP
Gloom Black Ninjakoopa: 20 HP
Larry: 15 HP

Larry: Apparently, the rage makes her Bomb have a higher explosion attack radius.
Larry: Wand Blast!
Bombette: 31 HP

Mario wakes up!

Bombette: ARGH! DIE!
Angry Red Ninjakoopa: 10 HP
Happy Yellow NinjaKoopa: 10 HP
Calm Green Ninjakoopa: 10 HP
Gloom Black Ninjakoopa: 10 HP
Larry: 7 HP

Larry: ... Attacking her made us lose half our HP!

Mario: I feel better! MEGA SMASH!
Angry Red Ninjakoopa: 0 HP!
Angry Red Ninjakoopa: ARGH!!!

Bombette is no longer Angry!

Larry: Wand Blast!
Mario: 40 HP

The Koopa Bros. got up!

Mario: Luckily, I kept this in my hat since Mario Bros!

Author's Note: Yes I do mean Mario Bros, not Super Mario Bros.

Mario pulls out... a POW Block!
Happy Yellow Ninjakoopa: 8 HP
Calm Green Ninjakoopa: 8 HP
Gloom Black Ninjakoopa: 8 HP
Larry: 5 HP
The Koopa Bros. have been flipped!

Bombette: Change partner!
Bombette changes to Kooper!
Kooper: 40 HP

Kooper: Power Shell!
Happy Yellow Ninjakoopa: 5 HP
Calm Green Ninjakoopa: 5 HP
Gloom Black Ninjakoopa: 5 HP
Larry: 2 HP

Larry: Plant Seeds!
Larry plants seeds everywhere!
Gloom Black Ninjakoopa: WAH!!!
Gloom Black Ninjakoopa's tears made all the seeds grow into Piranha Plants!
Larry: ATTACK!
Mario 20 HP
Kooper: 20 HP
The Piranha Plants die!

Mario: Ow... Jump!
Calm Green Ninjakoopa: 3 HP

Kooper: Power Shell!
Happy Yellow Ninjakoopa: 2 HP
Calm Green Ninjakoopa: 0 HP
Gloom Black Ninjakoopa: 2 HP
Larry: 0 HP
Calm Green Ninjakoopa: My Calmness is gone!
Larry: NO! I've been defeated!
Larry runs off but lands in lava...

The Koopa Bros. get up!

Kooper: Power Shell!
Happy Yellow Ninjakoopa: 0 HP!
Gloom Black Ninjakoopa: 0HP!
Happy Yellow Ninjakoopa: I lost my Happy!
Gloom Black Ninjakoopa: I lost my Gloom!


Koopa Bros: AHHHHHHHH!!!

The Koopa Bros. fly into their own dungeon.

Mario: Finally!

Eldstar: Thank you!

Mario: And 100 percent no explosion!

Eldstar: That reminds me; the author bribed me with one Star Coin to do something for him.

Mario: What?

Eldstar: An explosion!

Mario: OH NO! RUN!



Yes, I have to.

End of Chapter:

... What? I have no questions this time!

Read on!

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