Chapter 6: The "Invincible" Tubba Blubba
Last time I actually didn't ask any questions! Happies! Also Mario and Co. were exploded out of Koopa Bros. Fortress... Now we see them in Toad Town Square...
Mario and Co: X_X
Later...
Mario: Ow... I think we forgot something on Pleasant Path...
Mario and Co. try to go to Pleasant Path, but...
Red-Spotted Black Toad: You can't go to Koopa Bros. Fortress!
Mario: Didn't we kill you guys?
Green-Spotted Black Toad: Oh, right!
The black Toads disappear.
Mario: ... Forget Pleasant Path...
Meanwhile...
Peach: Finally! It's been about two chapters since I was last seen!
No one cares. Now go to the Quiz Room.
Peach: Ok.
Peach and Twink go to the Quiz Room. How they got past the locked door without getting Gourmet Guy's Key, we'll never know.
Hammer Bro: Woah! It's Princess Peach! Die!
Koopatrol: Easy! We need another contestant!
Hammer Bro: You win this round!
The Koopatrol, Peach, and the Hammer Bro. enter the Quiz Panel thingies.
Peach: Isn't the Hammer Bro. supposed to be quizzing us?
Hammer Bro: Silence, nonbeliever!
Peach: What's up with him?
Koopatrol: He's the Hammer Bro from P.T.'s Fun Fiction, Paper Mario Brothers 2: Pinheads in Time. You know, the one from the Vim Factory!
Peach: Oh. That explains the P.T.-like behavior! But than who's quizzing us?
Koopatrol: That guy!
Crazy: Howdy do!
Peach: Why is the author quizzing us?
Crazy: I like quizzes! NOW ANSWER, WORMS!
Peach: You didn't ask a question yet!
Crazy: LIAR! Question
1, what is the winner of this quiz going to get?
A: Sneaky Parasol
B: Pie
C: Bowser
D: An All Expense
Paid Trip to Isle Delfino
E: An Appearance
in the comic series Crazy and E-Man are making
F: GDFGDSGSDBHDFD!
BUZZ!
Peach: A.
Crazy: Holey moley! You answered correctly! Now I shock you!
Peach: BLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIAAAG!!!
Crazy: Question
2, what kind of magic wand did I use on the Koopa Bros?
A: The Vibe Scepter
B: Grass Land
Wand
C: Magikoopa
Wand
D: Star Rod
E: The King
F: DSFDDFDFSV
BUZZ!
Koopatrol: A!
Crazy: Correct! You win a cookie!
Koopatrol: Yay!
Peach: That's not fair!
Crazy; Holy moley! She used the tone! I shock you again!
Peach: BLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIAAAG!
Crazy: Question
3, which tourist will become a cameo in this chapter?
A: Flame Chocobo
B: P.T.-from-another-dimension-kind-of-like-his-alter-ego
C: E-Man
D: Dark Koopa
E: King Doopliss
F: The Dryest
Bones
BUZZ!
Koopatrol: F.
Crazy: Correct! You win another cookie!
Peach: ...
Crazy: Holy moley! She said, "..."! I shock you again!
Peach: BLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIAAAG!
Crazy: Question
4, which of these sentences does P.T. use the most in Fun Fiction?
A: You can't
tell Dracula what to do! Dracula's a grown man! He can do what he wants!
B: Silence, nonbeliever!
C: TEH CLOSET!
D: JJJJJJJJJJJJJJ
E: TEH CLOSET
AGAIN!
F: Lost in the
sea of randomness
Hammer Bro: SILENCE, NONBELIEVER!
Crazy: Correct! But since you didn't use the buzzer, you win a cookie!
Hammer Bro: Yay!
Peach: Shouldn't you be shocking him?
Crazy: Holy moley! She's telling me what to do! I shock you again!
Peach: BLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIAAAG!
Crazy: Last question,
which place has the next Star Spirit imprisoned?
A: Forever Forest
and Gusty Gulch
B: Flower Fields
and Cloudy Climb
C: Lavalava Island
and Mt. Lavalava
D: Shiver Mountain
and the Crystal Palace
E: Pleasant Path
and Koopa Bros. Fortress
F: Under Peach's
Dress
BUZZ!
Peach: A.
Crazy: Holy moley! She answered another question right! I...
Peach: SHOCK YOU AGAIN! I KNOW! NOW I'M LEAVING!
Peach and Twink leave.
Crazy: ... I actually was going to say, "I give you a Sneaky Parasol!"
Back with Peach...
Peach: Twink, tell Mario to go to Forever Forest.
Twink: Ok.
Back to Mario and Co...
Mario: Author! Where are we supposed to go?
WAIT!
Mario: BUT I CAN'T! ARGH!
BOOM!
O_O
Watt: Uhh...
... Someone bring out the Auto Mario Maker!
Squeak, squeak, squeak. *pushes button* POOF!
All right! This time, Mario, don't explode!
Mario: Ok.
All right, now you...
Mario's head pops off.
... Wait. No, no, no! Don't put back the Auto Mario Maker! Bring it back out here!
*pushes button* BOOM!
Ugh! What happened now?
Guy who pushed the Auto Mario Maker in: Blew up.
AGH! Bring in the Emergency Auto Mario Maker!
Squeak, squeak, squeak. *pushes button* POOF!
All right... Now is your head about to pop off?
Mario: No.
Good!
Mario: Guess we wait.
Twink: MARIO!
Mario: Hi Twink!
Twink: Forever Forest!
Mario: Ok!
Mario and Co. go to Forever Forest... but get hopelessly lost...
Mario: We're lost!
Goombario: How many times have we passed that sign?
A tree falls on Goombario.
Goombario: ...
Mario: I have an idea!
Mario pulls out his chainsaw!
Mario: TIME TO CHOP SOME WOOD!
BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!
Mario cuts down the entire forest and sees a mansion.
Mario: Let's go!
Mario and Co. continue, but...
???: Hello ladies, gentlemen, and stupid, crazy, chainsaw-using idiot!
Mario and Co: Hello!
Boo: Go to Boo's Mansion.
Mario: Why?
Boo: Than I, Bootler, won't have to say Zeeky Boogy Doog!
Mario: But you just said...
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Mario and Co. land in front of Boo's Mansion.
Mario: Stupid Boo...
Bootler: Thank you for coming! Now go to the third floor!
Mario: Couldn't you just take us up to the third floor?
Bootler: Do not question things you cannot understand.
Mario: ...
Mario and Co. enter and...
Mario: Hmm... I know!
Mario Super Jumps all the way to the third floor.
Bootler: Congratulations! You win a tourist that has been waiting patiently to be a cameo!
The Dryest Bones: I'm a 1-use item!
Mario: Ok.
Mario and Co. enter the doors and find a green Boo, Bootler, a large treasure chest, a painting, a record, a sofa, a weight, and more.
Green Boo: Hi! I'm Bow. Now if you want to have me as a partner, you have to solve ALL these puzzles!
Mario: ...
Hours later...
Mario: Beat all the puzzles... and I got new shoes!
Bow: Finally! Now I join you!
Skolar: What about me?
Bow: Oh... Also, if you defeat a weird person named Tubba Blubba, I'll give you the Star Spirit!
Mario: Ok.
Bow joined the Party! In battle, she can attack her opponents with Slaps! Or she can hide Mario with her Outta Sight! Outside of battle, she can hide Mario away from enemies!
Mario: Let's go!
Mario and Co. go to the entrance to Gusty Gulch.
Mario: Why are we here?
Bow: This is where Tubba Blubba lives! Now... YOU STUPIDS! OPEN THE GATE!
Boos: Yes, Lady Bow.
The Boos open the gate.
Mario: I'm tired! Is there any way to get through here faster?
I know! Look! A kamikaze watermelon!
*Insert Fooby the Kamikaze Watermelon's Fanfare*
Fooby: Wee!
Splat!
Mario: ... How was that supposed to help?
The jet engine?
Mario: ... Oh yeah!
Mario takes Fooby's jet engine and flies to Gusty Gulch.
Mario: Hello!
Brown Boo: RUN!
Mario: Why?
Brown Boo: Tubba Blubba is here!
Mario: What's wrong with that?
Brown Boo: HE EATS BOOS!
Bow: HIDE!
Bow hides Mario. Tubba Blubba appears.
Brown Boo: HUH?! WHERE DID EVERYONE GO?!
Tubba Blubba: FOOD!
Brown Boo: Oh...
GULP!
Tubba Blubba: Yum!
Tubba Blubba leaves.
Mario: ... At least we know what he looks like!
Look! Another kamikaze watermelon!
*Insert Fooby's Fanfare again.*
Fooby: Wee!
SPLAT!
Mario: Great! A new jet engine! The other one is out of gas.
Mario and Co. fly all the way to Tubba Blubba's Castle.
Mario: TUBBA BLUBBA! COME OUT!
...
Mario: ...
Mario and Co. continue and deal with more random rooms... like the Crystal Palace...
Mario: ... Author?
Lazy...
Mario: ...
Mario and Co. continue and find a staircase to the basement and find a treasure chest with a key.
Mario: Let's go!
Mario and Co. continue through the locked door in the main entrance and enter room with more stairs.
Mario: ... Can I just fast forward?
Sure...
*Insert fast forwarding noises here and also a fuzzy screen.*
POOF! POOF! POOF! POOF! POOF! POOF! POOF! POOF! POOF! POOF! POOF!
11 bombs appear.
Mario: What the?
Bow: Oh no! You fast forwarded wrong!
BOOM!
Plit soon falls into the sun...
SPLAT!
Take 2!
Mario: I'm climbing the stairs.
Mario and Co. continue and eventually enter a room with a table.
Mario: Why are we stopping here?
Because I say so!
Mario: ...
Mario and Co. continue and eventually enter the hallway where Tubba appears. You know, the one with the room with the key and that last hallway in the main entrance?
Tubba: Duh... Are you Mario?
Mario: No.
Tubba: Duh... Ok!
Tubba leaves.
Mario: Wow that was stupid!
Bow: Well at least he wasn't a watermelon!
Mario: ... Where did that come from?
Mario and Co. continue and enter the room full of Clubbas.
Mario: (whispering) Shh! We have to be quiet!
Bow: Yeah! Otherwise we'll never see a kamikaze watermelon!
Mario: ... What?
*Insert Fooby's Fanfare again...*
Fooby: Wee!
SPLAT!
Mario and Co: Oh no!
Clubbas: FUSION!
The Clubbas fuse and create the Giant Clubba with a Banana!
Mario: Where did the banana come from?
Sorry, I'm eating a banana. What I meant to say was he has a club with an H-Bomb instead of a spiked ball.
Mario: DON'T WHACK US!
Giant Clubba: Duh... With our combined brains, we're smart! And we're not falling for your tricks!
Mario and Co. ignore him and grab the key and leave. Mario and Co. eventually make it to Tubba Blubba's bedroom.
Mario: TREASURE!
Mario opens the treasure chest and makes a key come out.
Key: Are you here because of the secret of Tubba Blubba which is the secret of Tubba Blubba whose secret is a secret because all secrets are secrets?
Mario: Uhh... What?
Key: Sorry... What I meant to say was I figured out that the world is going to crash into the sun in about five seconds!
Mario: ... What?
Key: Sorry... again... What I really meant to say was, are you here to save the Star Spirit?
Mario: Yes!
Key: Ok... Do you know that the only way to defeat Tubba is the secret in the Windmill?
Mario: ... What secret? The author never mentioned any stinking secrets!
Key: You are a bad liar... MASTER TUBBA BLUBBA! THIEVES!
Tubba Blubba: SHUT UP! I'm trying to sleep!
Mario: ...
Mario and Co. leave with the Key. (Yes, I forgot that stupid key's name.)
Key: Hey! I can read your thoughts, you know!
... Mario and Co. make it to the windmill very quickly!
Key: So?
They'll use you and you'll die!
Key: NO!
Mario opens the lock and enters the windmill.
Mario: What do you think the secret is?
Bow: Treasure?
Sushie: A plan?
Watt: Embarrassing photos?
Goombario: Toys?
Kooper: Another kamikaze watermelon?
Lakilester: An organ?
Mario and Co. except Lakilester: O_o?
Lakilester: What? It could be possible!
Mario: ... You're speaking normally...
Lakilester: Yay!
Mario: Anyways, it seems these signs say something!
Sign 1: No entry allowed!
Sign 2: Really! No entry allowed!
Sign 3: Absolutely, NO ENTRY ALLOWED!
Mario: ... Ignoring them...
Mario and Co. enter and find an organ... a heart to be exact.
Mario and Co. except Lakilester: O_o?
Lakilester: I was right!
Tubba's Heart: Who the ^&$%^# are you?!
Mario: Watch the cursing!
Tubba's Heart: I don't @#$@$%@#$% care!
Tubba's Heart explodes!
Mario: O_O
Ludwig: I can't believe that idiot!
... Someone bring out the Auto Tubba's Heart Maker!
Squeak, squeak, squeak. *pushes button* POOF! POOF! POOF!
Guy who pushed the Auto Tubba's Heart Maker in: Uh oh...
BOOM!
What is going on down there?!
POOF!
Guy who pushed the Auto Tubba's Heart Maker in: A new, generic Tubba's Heart is ready!
Great!
BOSS BATTLE!
Mario: 50 HP
Bow: 45 HP
Vs.
Tubba's Heart:
50 HP
Ludwig: 40 HP
Mario: MEGA SMASH!
Ludwig: 30 HP
Bow: Slap!
Ludwig: 25 HP
Ludwig: Ouch!
Blaster Ray!
Mario: 40 HP
Tubba's Heart:
CHARGE!
ATTACK +6!
Mario: MEGA SMASH!
Ludwig: 15 HP
Bow: Outta Sight!
Mario and Bow
are invisible!
Tubba's Heart:
TAKE THIS!
MISS!
Ludwig: Ghost
Blaster Ray!
Mario: 30 HP
Mario: OUCH!
Mario and Bow
are no longer invisible!
Mario: MEGA SMASH!
Ludwig: 5 HP
Ludwig: OUCH!
I'M HURTING! I'M OUT OF HERE!
Ludwig runs out
of the windmill.
Tubba's Heart:
Grr...
Mario: MEGA JUMP!
Tubba's Heart:
40 HP
Bow: Slap!
Tubba's Heart:
35 HP
Tubba's Heart:
CHARGE!
ATTACK +6!
Mario: MEGA JUMP!
Tubba's Heart:
25 HP
Bow: Outta Sight!
Mario and Bow
are invisible!
Tubba's Heart:
TAKE THIS!
MISS!
Mario and Bow
are no longer invisible!
Mario: MEGA JUMP!
Tubba's Heart:
15 HP
Tubba's Heart:
CHARGE!
ATTACK +6!
Mario: MEGA JUMP!
Tubba's Heart:
5 HP
Tubba's Heart:
Ow! I'm hurting!
Tubba's Heart
escapes.
END OF BOSS BATTLE!
Mario: Uhh...
Mario and Co. follow Ludwig and Tubba's Heart. Than they go outside since that's the only way out.
Tubba's Heart: WE REJOIN!
Tubba Blubba swallows his Heart.
Mario: How did you get here?
Tubba: Wow! I get to say this first out of this entire Fun Fiction! Plothole!
Mario: Wow, that's old!
Tubba: I know!
Ludwig: WE FIGHT AGAIN!
BOSS BATTLE!
Mario: 30 HP
Bow: 45 HP
Vs.
Tubba Blubba:
10 HP
Ludwig: 5 HP
Mario: ... Wow, you guys mock evil everywhere...
Tubba Blubba: Duh... Thank you!
Ludwig: I CAN'T STAND THAT! WE USE MY ULTIMATE PLAN!
Ludwig jumps on top of Tubba Blubba.
Mario: Uhh...
Ludwig: Now witness my latest and greatest plan to date!
A white light appears around Ludwig and Tubba Blubba and when the light fades, out comes...
Mario: Uhh...
Yux: Huh? Where am I? Why am I in this Fun Fiction?
Yux notices Mario...
Yux: SHADOW MARIO! I KILL YOU!
Mario: But I'm not...
Yux: 15 HP
Mario: ... Ok, they just made a guy that has a total of the HP they had earlier.
Yux: Dang! You found me out!
Yux turns out to be Ludwig and Tubba Blubba. How they were thin and made a perfect Y-Shape, we'll never know.
Mario: Well that was the most pointless thing in this Fun Fiction so far!
Mario Mega Smashes
Tubba.
Tubba Blubba:
0 HP!
Tubba Blubba:
OW!
Ludwig: Oh #$@#$@%!!!
Bow: Slap!
Ludwig: 0 HP!
Ludwig: I can't
stand this!
Ludwig makes
a lava pit appear and jumps in it.
Mario: ...
END OF BOSS BATTLE!
Bow: Here is your Star Spirit!
Skolar: THANK YOU!
Mario: Now jinxing it...
Then that Giant Clubba from earlier appears.
Giant Clubba: I kill you with my club!
WHACK! BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Mario: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Goombario, Sushie, Kooper, and Bombette: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Bow, Lakilester, and Watt: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Mario: Wait... We defeated Iggy, Roy, Wendy, Lemmy, Larry, and Ludwig... So that leaves...
Everyone: ... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! MORTON!
End of Chapter:
Still no questions!