CHAPTER 6: THE TROUBLESOME TOWER
Last time, Larry and Co. went to Star Hill and killed Mack and Smithy! But they’ve made a mistake, and now must save the world, by getting the Star Rod from the top of Chip Tower, a giant Pringles can in a remote, far-off desert! We find the gang, in Toad Town square.
Purple: What was the point of recapping the last episode?
P.T.: Because the hiatus-like thing since the last part made me feel like we needed to remind the readers.
Larry: Not nearly as long as the hiatus on The Quest.
P.T.: I’ll get around to it!
Kamek: How do we get to Chip Tower?
Petey: We can fly!
Larry: Newsflash. You and Kamek are the only ones who can fly.
Petey: I can carry you in my mouth!
Larry and Purple: NO!
P.T.: I know! We’ll use spoons to dig our way to the desert!
Larry: Why not a shovel?
P.T.: Why a shovel?
Larry: … Okay, how about we just use the train that Mario used in Paper Mario!
Others: Okay!
They go to “convince” the engineer to take them to the desert. Soon, they reach a giant Pringles can.
Purple: Why would there be a giant Pringles can in the middle of a remote, far-off desert?
Petey: Don’t question things you cannot understand.
Purple: Wrong FF.
Petey: Oh.
Anyway, Larry opens the door. A bunch of giant Pringles flood out of the door, burying the group. They soon pop out of the sea of Pringles.
Larry: Great. We can’t enter the regular entrance, yet we’re not high enough to get to the top.
P.T. and Petey eat all the chips, real fast.
Larry: … Okay, let’s enter!
Inside…
Statue of the guy on every Pringles can: Welcome to my tower. If you wish to proceed to the top, you must fight the Pringle King!
A Goomba walks out. The only thing that makes him look different at all is a crown on his head.
Goomba (Pringle King): Fear me!
The group try to keep from laughing, but eventually they all laugh very hard. Pringle King then grows legs, arms, and hands. Then, those arms become ripped, and he grows wings, horns, and a tail.
Group: 0_0
RPG Battle! Cue the music that played when Mario fought the Gold Fuzzy in Shhwonk Fortress in PM2!
Larry: 60/60
Kamek: 50/50
P.T.: 50/50
Vs.
Pringle King:
1,000/1,000
Larry, Kamek, and P.T.: YOU HAVE 1,000 POINTS?!
Pringle King: Yes! Insert evil laugh here!
The boom mike falls on Pringle King’s head. 100 damage!
Larry: Uh, okay.
Larry uses, “Whirling Fortress”. 20 damage!
Kamek uses, “Geometric
Shapes”. 5 damage!
Kamek: What?!
P.T. uses, “Fire Rod”. 10 damage! Pringles King is burnt!
Pringles King uses, “Fire Breath” on Larry! 10 damage! Larry’s burnt!
The fires on Pringles King and Larry both do 1 damage!
Larry: 49/60
Kamek: 50/50
P.T.: 50/50
Vs.
Pringles King:
864/1,000
Larry uses, “Racket Smack”. 15 damage!
Kamek casts, “Fastify”.
Kamek gets a second turn! For 2 turns!
Kamek uses, a
Refreshing Herb on Larry. The fire’s out!
P.T. uses, “Hero’s Bow”. P.T. uses Bomb Arrows for this. 25 damage!
Pringles King
uses, “Tail Whip” on P.T. 20 damage!
The fire burns
Pringles King. 1 damage!
Larry: 49/60
Kamek: 50/50
P.T.: 30/50
Vs.
Pringles King:
823/1,000
Larry uses Mushroom Drops. Larry and P.T. regain 20 HP!
Kamek uses, “Switch”.
Switches to Purple.
Purple: It’s
about time someone else fights! Also, it’s about time someone speaks!
Pringles King:
Shut up!
P.T. pulls out a Trampoline! Everyone continuously bounces on Pringles King. 30 damage!
Pringles King
uses, “Really Painful Punch” on Larry. 30 damage!
The fire burns
Pringles King. 1 damage! The fire goes out!
Larry: 30/60
Purple: 45/45
P.T.: 50/50
Vs.
Pringles King:
793/1,000
Larry: If we keep
doing this, the fight will take forever! Wait, I know!
Larry equips
the Charge Badge! Everyone’s attack power is multiplied!
Purple uses, “Thunder Axe”! 150 damage!
P.T. uses, “Boomerang”! 100 damage!
Pringles King
equips the Double Pain badge! His pain is now doubled!
Pringles King:
Wait, I wanted a different one!
Too bad!
Larry: 30/60
Purple: 45/45
P.T.: 50/50
Vs.
Pringles Guy:
543/1,000
Larry uses, “Racket
Smack”. 300 damage!
Purple uses,
“Axerang”. 200 damage!
P.T. uses, “Megaton
Hammer”. 200 damage! Pringles King faints!
Larry: 30/60
Purple: 45/45
P.T.: 50/50
Vs.
Pringles King:
-157/1,000
Larry, Purple, and P.T. win! Battle over!
Larry: I can’t believe that battle took over 2 pages!
Petey: I can’t believe that you never used me!
Pringles King: I can’t believe I equipped Double Pain.
The Pringles King explodes, and the crown falls to the ground.
Statue of the guy on every Pringles can: Use the crown, if you want to proceed.
Larry takes the crown, and the gang continue through the door the Pringles King came out of. They’re now in an elevator!
P.T.: Hey! The only buttons are the ones that go to the first floor and second floor!
Larry presses the 2nd floor button, and they’re taken to the second floor. When they get out of the elevator, they see another Pringles guy statue.
Statue: To proceed, you must defeat the Knights of the Square Table on which they ate Pringles!
A bunch of knights with swords come out.
P.T.: I have an idea!
Plit: Gasp!
He whispers his plan to Purple. P.T. then goes and sits on the windowsill.
P.T.: Switchhook!
P.T. uses the switchhook to switch physical positions with a few of the knights. The knights are now on the windowsill, and Purple pushes them out the window. They don’t have a happy landing.
P.T.: I knew stealing Link’s items (except his sword and shield) was a good idea!
Larry rackets knights out the windows, Kamek turns knights into Goombas (which he squashes), P.T. smashes them with the Megaton Hammer, Petey eats them, and Purple slices them. Eventually, they drop a Royal Scepter.
Statue: Take the scepter if you wish to proceed.
They go into the door the knights came out of, and it reveals that the room was yet another elevator. Larry presses the only other button (3rd floor), and they’re taken to another room. This room has a row of 5 king statues against the wall on the other side.
Larry: I don’t get it.
Kamek: Don’t you see? All of those kings have crowns and scepters. Except one doesn’t have a crown, revealing a bald spot, and one doesn’t have a scepter!
Larry: Oh… I knew that.
Larry puts the crown on the crownless king’s head, and puts the scepter in the scepterless king’s hand. The kings then glow, and become spheres of light. The spheres shoot a laser at the wall, and a door is revealed. They then fly out the window, and head for the top.
Petey: How much weirder is this going to get?!
They go into the door (another elevator) and press the roof button. They’re on the roof!
Larry: Finally!
Purple: Look! The spheres are circling above the altar in the center!
They then stop and shoot a laser at the altar. A suitcase appears!
Spheres: To find what you seek, look in the suitcase…
The spheres fade.
Petey: No, seriously. This is just getting weird.
Larry approaches the suitcase. He opens it, and sees a star.
Larry: I seek a star? That’s not right! I seek the Star Rod!
The spheres come back. They then take the form of the guys on the Pringles cans.
Spheres: We are the Pringle Spirits. And yes, that IS the Star Rod.
Group: WHAT?! IT WAS BROKEN?!
Spirit #1: Yes, the Star Rod has been fragmented. Someone knew of your arrival, so they broke the Star Rod into the pieces: the star on the end, the top half of the handle, and the bottom half of the handle.
Spirit #2: You must find the other two pieces before it’s too late!
Spirit #3: The top half of the handle is on Thwomp Volcano. The other is in Shhwonk Fortress. When they’re assembled, return here.
Spirits #4 and 5: How come we didn’t get any lines?! WAAHH!
The spirits fade.
Larry: This is a lot like Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess.
Purple: How many plot twists will this story have?!
Petey: And how much weirder will this get?!
P.T.: To Thwomp Volcano!
P.T. grabs the others and the suitcase, and uses the switchhook with a knight’s corpse next to the train they used to come here. The knight’s on top, and they’re back on the ground.
Larry: Let’s get this over with.
They hop into
the train, and drive back to Toad Town.
CHAPTER 7: THE VICIOUS VOLCANO
Back in Toad Town, the gang is thinking.
Larry: Who could’ve known that we were going to try to get the Star Rod?
Kamek: Probably someone who didn’t want us to save the world from darkness.
P.T.: If we’re going to have more plot twists, then we need more people.
Larry: Good point.
P.T.: Woohoo! Two in one day! A new record! Mom would be so proud!
Voice: Hi, Petey!
Petey: Oh no.
King Boo appears out of nowhere. Literally.
King Boo: I was just looking for the thrift store, when I saw you! What are you doing?
Petey: Uh…
P.T.: He’s helping Larry, Kamek, me, and this purple Axem Ranger assemble the Star Rod to save the world from darkness, so we can have Smithy killed in a safe way!
Petey: Yeah… (Whoo, okay. That was close. As long as no one says why we’re going to kill Smithy…)
King: Why?
P.T.: To avenge Bowser’s death. We get paychecks! And free dental!
King Boo: Petey, you’re helping them avenge Bowser? Don’t you know I hate Bowser?
Petey: (I am going to kill P.T.!) Uh… King Boo! What are you doing here?
King Boo:… Right. Anyway, I’ll help!
Kamek: Why?
King Boo: I beat Bowser in a poker game last Thursday, and he hasn’t paid me yet! But now that he’s dead, I’ll never get my money! I must kill whoever killed Bowser. But if Bowser had paid me before he died, I’d have no problem.
Larry: Uh… okay.
King Boo joins the party! It’s about time someone joins!
P.T.: To Thwomp Volcano!
Eventually, the gang finds the warp pipe to Thwomp Volcano. They end up in the same place where the Time Hole was.
Larry: Hmm. This place seems awfully quiet.
Kamek: Guys! I’m sensing the part of the Star Rod is somewhere inside the volcano!
Purple: How will we get there? We can’t use the Spin Jump, Bros. Ball, Baby Spin, or Baby Cakes!
Petey: Now before anyone says no…
Petey quickly eats Larry, P.T., and Purple. Then, Petey, Kamek, and King Boo fly to the top. There, he spits out Larry and Purple.
Petey: There, was that so bad?
Larry and Purple: YES!
King Boo: Wait, where’s P.T.?
Petey: Oh yeah.
King Boo becomes intangible, and floats into Petey’s stomach. He comes back out with P.T., and turns them tangible.
P.T.: That stomach acid felt like dying.
Kamek: Oh no!
They turn around to see that a giant cork is stuffed into the crater!
Larry: How will we get in now?
P.T.: How about that giant Thwomp statue where E. Gadd’s lab used to be?
The others turn to see it.
Larry: That looks promising.
They enter a hole in the statue, and see remains of Thwomp organs and bones. They also see some scrap metal lying around.
Purple: What happened?
A Boo appears.
Boo: I can explain. You see, 30-something years ago, a few months after the Shroobs left the Mushroom Kingdom, a mysterious figure carrying part of what looked like the Star Rod entered the inside of the volcano. The person was evil, so it didn’t want anyone to stop it. So it got rid of all the Thwomps inside the volcano. I was killed, and thrown out. I landed on E. Gadd’s old lab.
Kamek: Then that means… WE’RE INSIDE YOUR CORPSE!
P.T.: Ew.
Petey: This story seems to be getting darker.
Boo: When it left, the person left a giant cork in the top of the volcano. But there is another way to enter. Know how the Shroobs abducted the Mario quartet?
Larry: Yeah, why?
Boo: Well, go through the hole that the Shroobs made, and you’ll be in the room where the piece of the Star Rod is.
Kamek: But how was the person in the past?
Larry: They must’ve known we were coming.
Purple: Someone must be out to get us.
P.T.: Wait. I thought Boos were born as ghosts. But you’re the ghost of this Thwomp.
Boo: Oh, we can be both. Now hurry…
Larry: I can’t tell if this is epic, dark, long, or just dumb.
King Boo: I vote for all four.
They then leave the corpse (ew), go around to the back, and see a chasm. On the other side is a platform with a hole in the wall.
King Boo: How will we get there?
Larry: How about you flyers just go, and we’ll wait here.
P.T.: I’ll come!
Kamek, Petey, and King Boo fly across. P.T. pulls out the Deku Leaf, and floats across with it. Inside, they see the piece of the Star Rod in the same spot where “Peach” was. P.T. goes to grab it, but it becomes a pile of dust when he touches it.
P.T.: …
Petey: We’re doomed!
Just then, a Time Hole opens!
King Boo: Maybe not!
They hop into the Time Hole, and reappear in the same room, only around the same time the person attacked the volcano.
Kamek: Quick! To the top!
They fly to the top of the volcano (P.T. riding on the broom behind Kamek), and see a cloaked figure about to kill Mr. and Mrs. Thwomp outside the crater.
Figure: (pulling out a Magikoopa wand) Now to-
A boomerang knocks the wand out of the figure’s hand, and it’s revealed that P.T. threw it.
Figure: You!
Petey: Yes, us! (whispering to Kamek) Who is that?
Kamek: (whispering back) I don’t know.
The couple go to hide in the volcano. The figure dives to get the wand, when Kamek swoops down, and takes it first! P.T. then pulls out the Ball N’ Chain, and knocks the figure to the edge. The figure is hanging by one hand, and the Star Rod piece lands in King Boo’s hands. Hey! That rhymes!
King Boo: That was convenient.
King Boo licks the hand of the cloaked figure, and in disgust, the figure lets go. But that causes the figure to drop to the ground way below.
Petey (just back from looking at the crater): Guys, the Time Hole’s closing!
They fly back to the Time Hole, and re-enter the present. They’re back in the room, with the Piece. All the damage done to the volcano that the figure caused is undone. They then fly to Larry and Purple, who are in the same spot but don’t remember a thing, as they didn’t go back in time.
Petey: We got the Piece!
Purple: My head hurts.
Kamek: Uh, don’t worry about that.
Larry: Well, I guess we’d better go to Shhwonk Fortress, now.
The gang go back to the warp pipe, and head back for Toad Town.