CHAPTER 11: THE BIG BATTLES
Larry’s group is on their way back up Star Hill. In Star Haven, they see Twilit messengers around.
Purple: I don’t think those are supposed to be here.
Larry: Who cares? Let’s just go to Star Temple.
They’re about to leave, when stone things drop around Purple, P.T., and three of the messengers, who begin shrieking.
Purple: Oh please.
Purple destroys one with his axe, while P.T. knocks another out with the shovel (a LOZ item, not a generic shovel). The remaining messenger shrieks louder. The other two then come back to life.
Both: 0.0
P.T.: I have an idea! Super Fist of the Nose Hair: Office Executive Rotation!
P.T. is dressed up as an office executive, and is in an office, in an office chair. P.T. sticks his feet out, and spins around, kicking the messengers as he spins around, killing them all at once. The scene goes back to Star Haven, and the barrier disappears. Also, a portal opens above the group.
Purple: What’s that thing in the sky?
Petey: Who cares?
The gang continue to Star Temple, and enter. Inside…
Twilit Star Door: Halt! None of you shall pass without the password!
Larry: Can this just end?
Kamek: This story is dumb?
P.T.: Silence, nonbeliever?
Petey: Do not question things you cannot understand?
Purple: Cheese?
King Boo: Wedding cake?
TSD: No.
Larry: Lemmy’s Interview Show?
TSD: D’oh!
The door opens.
P.T.: That cursed phrase...
On the other side, they reach the Aurora Block. The light from the Strange Sack enters the block. Larry hits it, and the Star Rod comes out! The star on the end glows, and all the Twilit enemies die.
DAD’s voice: Hurry! Go to the Star Spirit Chamber!
Petey: Make us!
Lightning strikes.
Petey: Okay!
The gang leave the Star Temple, and find the Star Spirit building.
Larry: Even though this place isn’t in Twilight, there are flames around the Star Spirit place. That’s weird.
King Boo: How will we get past?
Larry: I have an idea.
Larry shoots from the Star Rod, and light appears, destroying the flames. They then enter the building. Inside, two Twilit messengers appear.
Larry: Hmm. How should we kill them?
Just then, Petey eats them both. But when he does, he gets a Twilit color scheme!
King Boo: Are you okay?
TWILIT PIRANHA PLANT: PETEY PIRANHA
Kamek: Oh no! He’s been possessed by the enemies!
Twilit Petey eats Kamek, and spits him out.
TWILIT MAGIKOOPA: KAMEK
Larry: RUN!
The gang run, but a Zant Hand grabs them.
Purple: A Zant Hand? What are they doing here?
King Boo fazes out of the hand, and then beats it up. It drops Larry, P.T., and Purple, who continue. But black geometric shapes hit King Boo.
TWILIT BOO: KING BOO
In the next room, there is a barred door. Next to it are two Zant statues.
Purple: I thought this was the Shadow Queen’s hideout!
Larry: Who cares?
P.T.: DOMINION ROD!
P.T. shoots an energy ball at one of the Zant statue, and moves it off of the pressure plate it is on. He then does the same to the other, and both pressure plates are relieved. The barred door opens. Suddenly, King Boo licks P.T.
TWILIT FIST MASTER: P.T. PIRANHA
Larry and Purple: AAAHHHHHH!!!
Larry and Purple run into the next room, which is the Shadow Queen’s throne room.
Larry: There you are! And why are there Zant things?
Shadow Queen: You mean my brother?
Bum, bum, BUM!
Purple: Who did you call a bum?
Uh… no one.
Purple: Okay.
Suddenly, an arrow hits Purple.
TWILIT AXEM: AXEM PURPLE
Larry: AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
Shadow Queen: Now for you!
Shadow Queen uses a spell to stick Larry to the floor, and Purple leaps at Larry with his axe, when suddenly, a shadow of some sort drags Purple into the ground! Purple then pops back up, back to normal. Then, four more shadows do the same thing to the others. Then, a purple, more solid version of the shadows appear. It’s Bogmire!
Shadow Queen: Nephew?! Why?!
Bogmire: Because I can! (whispering to Larry) I’ll distract her. While she’s not noticing, destroy the Skull Rod with the Star Rod, then put it on the altar. Your friends should help me.
Larry: Okay. Hey guys! Help Bogmire!
Others: Why?
Larry: … Free dental?
Others: Okay!
Bogmire, Kamek, P.T., Petey, Purple, and King Boo all lunge at Shadow Queen, attacking her. Meanwhile, Larry walks behind her throne, and is about to destroy the Skull Rod when a Zant Hand grabs him! It turns Larry around, revealing Zant!
Larry: Didn’t you die in that game?
Zant: Didn’t my sister die in Paper Mario 2, as well as many LL submissions?
Larry: … Good point.
Zant: NOW TO KILL YOU!
Zant shoots an energy bolt at Larry, but Larry manages to free his hand, and volley it back. This stuns Zant long enough for Larry to break free. He then shoots a beam from the Star Rod, destroying the Skull Rod, and Larry quickly replaces it with the Star Rod.
Shadow Queen (who just beat Bogmire and Co): What?! NOOOOO!!!
Shadow Queen is then pulled towards the Star Rod, and is eventually sucked up into the Star part.
Zant: Huh? SISTER! I SHALL AVENGE YOU!
Zant shoots a death bolt at Larry, but Kamek counters with geometric shapes, the spells destroying each other.
Zant: My spell! Die!
Zant shoots a quicker bolt that knocks the wand out of Kamek’s hands. He then charges up one that’ll destroy them all, when Bogmire shadows reach up from the ground, and try to pull Zant into the ground.
Bogmire: He can’t shoot when he’s trying to break free, so kill him while you can!
P.T. shoots a light arrow at the charged up ball of energy, filling it with light. Then, Larry throws his racket at Zant’s hands.
Zant: Ouch!
In his pain, Zant drops the ball of energy. But since it was over him, he drops it on himself, and he gets smothered with light.
Zant: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! IT BURNS!
Zant then explodes, and all that remains of him, his pointy helmet, drops to the ground, . Then, the building glows and stops. It changes back to the normal one room that it was in Paper Mario.
P.T.: I want to keep his pointy helmet as a keepsake.
King Boo: So?
Larry: Well, I’ve saved the world. But now what?
Bogmire: Nothing, really.
So Larry and Co.
start heading out of Star Haven and down Star Hill. But little do they
know that they left a void for a stronger evil to fill…
CHAPTER 12: THE NEW NUISANCE
Purple: So now that we’ve defeated Smithy, restored the Star Rod, saved Plit from the twilight, and defeated the Shadow Queen as well as her brother, now what do we do?
Larry: That’s it. That’s the end of the adventure.
Petey: Unless we left a void for a stronger evil to fill, or something like that. But I doubt it.
Larry: Right.
3 seconds after that, and not a second more, a beam hits the party, sending them into the X-Naut Fortress.
Kamek: Where are we?
P.T., Petey, and King Boo: LISTEN TO TEH NARRATOR!
Grodus: I’ve heard that you destroyed the Shadow Queen.
Purple: So what if we did?
Crump: Sir Grodus was planning on using her again!
Grodus: Now you must d-
Kamek shoots a spell that causes all the X-Nauts to disappear.
Grodus: Gah! Crump! Destroy them!
Crump: Buh-huh!
Crump attempts a body slam, but Petey eats him.
Grodus: 0.0! I guess I get to do this!
Grodus leaves and comes out in Magnus Von Grapple 2.0!
Larry: That old thing?
Grodus: We’ve made improvements.
The drills on the hands start spinning, and an extra set of arms appear. They have clamps on the ends. A jetpack is visible on the back, lasers appear right next to the dome, and the chest opens up, revealing many laser cannons.
King Boo: Does that make it Magnus Von Grapple 3.0?
Grodus: No, it’s still the same robot.
The hands launch off the robots and all aim for the group. Larry volleys one hand back, Kamek causes one to disappear, P.T. reflects with the Mirror Shield, and Purple slices one with his axe.
Grodus: Gah! Laser cannons!
He uses the lasers to vaporize the hands before they come to him. He then shoots lasers from near the dome of the robot.
Petey: Whirlwind!
Petey spins, creating a whirlwind that deflects the lasers, causing them to break the dome! But Grodus presses a button so that the top of the robot right around the dome flies up, and flies towards the group like a disk. But Purple slices it. Grodus then decides to shoot from the laser cannons on his stomach.
Larry: Why?! We didn’t know you needed the Shadow Queen!
Grodus: Too bad!
Larry quickly volleys all the lasers back, causing the front of the robot to explode, revealing the circuitry and the chair that Grodus is sitting in.
Grodus: DEFENSE!
Grodus activates the jetpack, and turns invisible.
Grodus: Like my cloaking device?
Kamek: Lumos!
Grodus is visible!
Grodus: But how?
Kamek: Same way Watt could let Mario see invisible ? Blocks in Paper Mario.
P.T.: King Boo Magnum!
P.T. punches the back of King Boo, launching a piece of his face to fly up and smack Grodus in the head. And he somehow turns back to normal.
Larry and Purple: WAH!
Grodus: Ow…
P.T.: Now for this!
P.T. grabs King Boo by the tongue, and swings him like a whip, knocking Grodus out of the robot.
Larry: Die!
Larry shell tosses, knocking Grodus into the wall.
Grodus: Ouch… Well, you don’t exactly know what I was going to use her for.
Kamek: Come again?
Grodus: I was going to use her to retrieve the Skull Rod.
Larry: Why?
Grodus: Because… all the video game worlds are now in jeopardy of a greater evil since the original Star Rod was destroyed. So now that you've saved Plit, the other worlds need saving.
Purple: This sounds like a mix of quite a few other plots.
Grodus: Who cares?
Petey: He has a point. So how exactly were you going to travel to other worlds?
Grodus: The portal in the other room.
Petey: Ah.
Grodus: But you all beat me so bad, my body is shutting down, except my head.
Larry: Okay… But what if we need your help?
Grodus: Detach my head, and take it with you. I may be of use.
P.T.: I will!
P.T. detaches Grodus’s head. But he places Zant’s helmet on the body out of boredom, when no one sees. They head to the other room.
Larry: Ooh. Portal.
Kamek: What is the first world?
Grodus: I couldn’t say. Spin the wheel of fortune- I MEAN WORLDS!
Purple spins, and it lands on Rayman’s world.
Larry: But that’s barely a Nintendo place!
Grodus: JUST GO!
They enter the portal.