PROLOGUE: THE BAD BEGINNING
One day, Larry is ruling Grass Land, when a Piranha Plant comes up to him.
Piranha Plant: Uh, Prince Larry?
Larry: Yes, what is it, Minion #238?
Piranha Plant: Well, something’s happened in your dad’s castle, and you need to go. Now!
Larry leaves his general in charge, and goes to his doomship. It takes a while, but he makes it to Dark Land. He sees that the others are crying.
Larry: Huh? What happened?
Junior: *sniff* KING DAD DIED!
Larry: 0_0 Who did this?!
Ludwig: My device says that the murderer was…
Lemmy: MARIO AND LUIGI! I KNEW IT!
Ludwig: Sorry, Lemmy. They’re not the culprits. It was… Smithy!
Others: Gasp!
Roy: I say we pound Smithy, until he’s scrap metal!
Iggy: But wait! Why did Smithy do this? How did Smithy do this?
Ludwig: He probably had his henchmen help. But I don’t know why. Probably revenge for the events in SMRPG.
Larry: I read in the Grass Land Times reports of a robot with a hammer headed for Nimbus Land.
Lemmy: Then it’s settled. We must kill Smithy.
Wendy: But how?
Roy: We pound him!
Larry: I know! We’ll draw straws. Whoever gets the shortest will kill Smithy!
Ludwig: Great idea! Except you, Lemmy. You already starred in too many FFs as it is, so you can’t go.
Lemmy: Darn.
And it lands on… Larry! Because I’m in the mood to make him the star.
Larry: What do I do now?
Ludwig: Go to Nimbus Land, and kill Smithy.
Larry: Should I protect Mallow, or something?
Ludwig: I don’t know. If you want, it doesn’t matter. But don’t take any doomships or the Koopa Cruiser. He may be expecting those, and might kill you.
Kamek: I’ll come, too.
Junior: Who will watch us?
Morton: Perhaps we’ll go to Sub-con and see if Uncle Wart will watch us!
And so, Larry and Kamek set off for
Nimbus Land.
CHAPTER 1: THE PEA-BRAINED PARTNER
Kamek: Larry, I think it’d be best if we get some recruits from Grass Land to help.
Larry: But who? All my minions are… well, just generic minions!
Kamek: Then why not hire someone?
Larry: But who? I don’t know of anyone who’d want to help avenge my dad.
Kamek: How about Petey Piranha? He’s a villain. And a plant!
Larry: That could work. But we’d have to go all the way to Isle Delfino. We need to find a boat.
Suddenly, they hear someone talking on the other side of a wall.
Larry: Who is it?
Kamek: I don’t know. But usually in video games, this is the kind of thing that will help us. Let’s listen.
P.T.: I’m telling you. There’s this guy, and all he does is fold napkins.
Goomba: Yeah, I think he used to fold maps, or something. Say, how about that lobster we saw today?
P.T.: Yeah. It reminds me of Aunt Lucy. This may come as a surprise to you, but my Aunt Lucy was a lobster.
Goomba: No.
P.T.: No, really! Sometimes when she fell asleep, we’d pull her antennae, and make it look like she was moving. It was fun. Once we did it at Daisy’s birthday party, and we actually got her walking across the table.
Larry: WHAT?!
P.T.: Huh? Hi, Larry. Hi, other guy!
Kamek: I have a name, you little- Wait, you were at Daisy’s birthday party? Why?
P.T.: Why does it matter?
Kamek: She has a boat! We need a boat! If you know her, you can ask her for us!
P.T.: I’m her brother, as revealed in LM3 and my bio, for the sake of adding a plot twist.
Larry: Well then if Luigi marries her, we’ll have to kill you, too.
P.T.: That’s disturbing. Why should I ask for the boat?
Kamek: Uh…
Larry: Free dental!
P.T.: Okay.
Larry: Just don’t let her know that we were asking.
Soon…
Daisy: No.
P.T.: Please?
Daisy: No.
P.T.: Please?
Daisy: No.
P.T.: Pretty please?
Daisy: No.
P.T.: Ugly please?
Daisy: FINE! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
Soon, the Daisy Cruiser can be seen on the sea. It bumps into a small boat.
P.T.: Sorry!
It bumps into another.
P.T.: My fault!
Kamek: Maybe I should drive.
P.T.: NEVAH!
Larry is seen in the dining room, looking at a photo of him, his father, his 7 siblings, and Clawdia. Why hasn’t Clawdia appeared yet? I don’t know!
Larry: And to think, this morning was like any other. It feels like a billion years ago.
Suddenly, the ship shakes hard. Larry goes to the control room.
Larry: WHAT ON PLIT HAPPENED?!
Kamek: P.T. happened. He was playing Mario and Luigi 2, while steering.
P.T.: Shut up, Kamek! Baby Luigi just died because of you! Both here, and in the game!
Kamek: …
Larry: Give me that!
Larry throws P.T.’s DS into the ocean.
P.T.: NO!
Larry takes over. And they soon make
it to Isle Delfino and get arrested.
CHAPTER 2: THE IMPOSSIBLE ISLAND
Larry, Kamek, and P.T. are in the jail in Delfino Plaza.
P.T.: Way to go, Larry! Your dead dad and dead-beat brother just got us all a bad rep. Since Kamek helps you guys and I’m with you, we’re in trouble, too! Thanks for being evil, tree-hugger!
Larry: Shut up.
P.T.: But it’s all your dad and brother’s fault!
Kamek: Oh, yes! Larry’s dad died a few hours ago, and now he has to kill a guy that would probably kill him, and now him, you, and me are in jail! Let’s yell at him, and make it worse!
P.T.: Okay, if you want.
Kamek: I WAS BEING SARCASTIC, NITWIT!
P.T.: … You know, you have to give a guy a warning about that.
Larry: BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! I’M THINKING OVER HERE!
P.T.: About the meaning of life?
Larry: … No. About how to escape. How did Mario get out?
Kamek: He cleaned the whole island.
Larry: Lame. Maybe we should get someone to help.
P.T.: Isn’t that how we got here in the first place?
Larry: I’ll get my lawyer!
Kamek: I’m your lawyer.
Larry: Lame.
A Bob-omb is taking a vacation in the meantime. He trips, gets mad, and blows up, next to the jail.
Larry: We’re free!
Policemen (from Mario Power Tennis): Busted! Get back in there!
Larry: Make us!
Policemen: Oh, Sprinkles!
Larry, Kamek, and P.T.: *snicker* What a wimpy name!
A big, ripped policeman comes out. That’s Sprinkles.
Larry: Uh, did your parents name you that before they saw you were tough, or after?
Sprinkles punches Larry.
Larry: Ouch!
Kamek: Say, Larry. I have an idea.
Larry: Let me hear it.
Kamek: What if we make a bargain?
Larry: Good idea. Ahem. Policemen, if we beat Sprinkles, will we be free to go?
Kamek: Not that bargain! We’ll get creamed!
Policemen: Uh, sure. Not like you’ll beat Sprinkles, anyway.
RPG BATTLE! CUE MARIO AND LUIGI 2 BOSS MUSIC:
Larry: 30/30
Kamek: 20/20
P.T.: 25/25
Vs.
Sprinkles: 45/45
Larry uses, “Service”.
Rackets a ball at Sprinkles. 3 damage!
Kamek uses, “Cloning”.
4 other Kameks appear!
P.T. uses, “Boomerang”.
6 damage!
P.T.: How come all our attacks do 3 damage? Mine only does 6 because it attacks twice!
Sprinkles uses, “Kick” on Larry. 5 damage!
Larry: 25/30
Kamek: 20/20
P.T.: 25/25
Vs.
Sprinkles: 36/45
Larry uses, “Wand”. He shoots geometric shapes. 4 damage!
P.T.: Hey! I don’t like it when the Koopalings still have wands! I’m as of now canceling them from my submissions!
Kamek uses, “Spiked Ball”. So do the clones. 25 damage total!
Larry and P.T.: Woah!
P.T. uses, “Cannonballer”. They each jump into the cannon, and land on Sprinkles. 10 damage! Sprinkles faints!
Larry: How come my attack was the weakest?
Larry: 25/30
Kamek: 20/20
P.T.: 15/25
Vs.
Sprinkles: -3/45
Larry, Kamek, and P.T. win! Battle over!
Policemen: Oh my DAD! Back to jail!
Larry: But we won!
Policemen: Yeah, but we didn’t expect you to! We just agreed to the bargain to humor you!
Larry: How dare you? I’m the son of Bowser!
Policemen: That’s why we arrested you.
Larry: But I wasn’t part of what my dad did! I’m just here to speak to Petey Piranha!
Policemen: Oh. Okay. Sorry for the misunderstanding!
Larry and Kamek: …
P.T.: WEDDING CAKE!
Larry: …
The policemen leave. The trio then jump into the Pianta statue, and make it to Bianco Hills. There, they make their way to the windmill.
Larry: Hello? Petey? Are you home?
Petey: If you’re girl scouts, you’d better run!
Larry: Relax. It’s me, Larry Koopa.
Petey: Never heard of you.
Larry: … I just need you to join us, is all! We need your help to kill Smithy!
Petey comes out of the windmill.
Petey: Why?
Larry explains everything that happened from the beginning of the story, up to what you’re reading right now.
Petey: Okay. But I can’t let King Boo know. He doesn’t like Bowser that much, and would be less than thrilled to know that I’m helping Bowser’s son.
Petey Piranha joined the party! In the field he can spit goop, and in battle he can-
Larry: THIS ISN’T A VIDEO GAME!
Kamek and P.T.: How come we never got any intros?
Larry: Shut up! We have to go to Nimbus Land!
P.T.: How are we going to get there?
Larry: Hmm. I never thought of that. I was using my focus on getting Petey to join us.
Petey: I could fly us there!
Kamek: Don’t worry about me. I have my broom.
Larry: I don’t think we should ride you. There has to be something else. Do you know anyone with an airship?
Kamek: Prince Larry, why not just go to Bean Valley? There’s a way to Nimbus Land from there. It may take a while, but it’s our best bet!
Larry: Fine.
So with Petey
Piranha as the newest member of the party, they go back to the Daisy Cruiser,
and make their way back to Toad Town Docks.
CHAPTER 3: THE FEARSOME FOREST
The quartet are at the entrance to Kero Sewers.
Larry: Ew. Are you sure this is the way to Nimbus Land?
Kamek: No. We go here, then down Midas Falls, then through the Rose Region, then the Moleville Region, then the coast, then to Land’s End. That’s the way to Nimbus Land.
Larry: Ugh. We have to go all that way? Do we at least have a vehicle?
Petey: I know! Why not just go back to Dark Land, then go to Land’s End from there?
P.T.: Can’t. Road’s closed.
Larry: Ugh.
So they go into the sewers, then down Midas Falls. Well, Larry and P.T. go down Midas Falls. Kamek and Petey fly to the bottom.
Larry: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
P.T.: Whee!
They make it to the bottom, and are on a barrel.
Larry: Oh no! How could this get worse?
Larry trips and falls off the barrel. A Cheep Chomp eats him. But he spits him out at the end.
Larry: Note to self: never jinx, and never EVER go to Nimbus Land again.
They make it out, and after a while make it to Rose Town. Arrows are landing, freezing everyone.
Kamek: Again?
Yes! Again!
Random Citizen: Help! Bowyer is shooting arrows!
Larry: Hmm. What to do?
Petey: You want a villain fowling the air of a forest with his existence?
Larry: No way! I like forests! Let’s go!
They head off to the Forest Maze.
Larry: Which way should we go?
Kamek: Left!
P.T.: Straight!
Petey: Right!
Larry: Of course.
Petey: How about Kamek and I get a bird’s-eye view?
Larry: Good idea!
They fly up. However, Kamek gets hit and falls.
Larry: Kamek! No! Are you alive?
Petey: Larry, haven’t you played SMRPG? The arrows freeze people. They don’t kill them, or even wound them.
Larry: Good. Petey, carry Kamek. You’re the biggest one of us.
Petey: Lame.
The plant picks up the wizard.
Petey: You know, that arrow came from straight ahead.
Larry: That’s our best bet. Let’s go.
So they go, and soon meet Bowyer.
Bowyer: Nyah! Found me, how did you?
P.T.: Yoda? I thought you died in LM3!
Bowyer: Nyah! Yoda, I am not! Bowyer, I am!
Larry: Why are you doing this?
Bowyer: Impeding your progress, I am! Stopping you, so kill Mallow, Smithy can.
P.T.: Huh?
Bowyer: Explain, this Flunky will. Nyah!
Flunky: Ahem. Smithy is trying to kill all 5 of the people who defeated him. He’s already killed Bowser, and is going after Mallow. However, we’re trying to keep you from reaching Nimbus Land, so you can’t avenge your dad. And no, we don’t know how we know. We’ve already had the Axem Rangers use Blade to destroy the path to Land’s End from Dark Land. Now, we must kill you.
Bowyer: Nyah!
He takes the Flunky, and shoots it at Larry. Larry bats it back with his racket, but Bowyer dodges. P.T. runs towards Bowyer, swinging a big staff like a moron. But Bowyer grabs it, and tosses it (with P.T. still holding on) away from the platform. Yes, they’re on the platform where Mario, Mallow, and Geno fought him.
Petey: Nothing’s working! We have to do something!
Larry: I know!
He whispers the plan.
Bowyer: Talking, stop! Nyah!
Bowyer shoots a Flunky towards Larry. P.T. and Petey grab him, while Larry volleys the Flunky back at Bowyer, who now can’t dodge, due to P.T. and Petey.
Bowyer: Ah! Frozen me, you have!
He freezes, and previous victims get unfrozen. Then, they all 3 beat Bowyer into unconsciousness.
Kamek: Oh, what happened?
Larry: You got stunned, but we beat Bowyer. Now we have to get to Nimbus Land.
Rose Town Mayor: Did someone say, “Nimbus Land”?
P.T.: Well I assume we all did, at least once in our lives.
Larry: No, you moron! Yes, I said it.
Mayor: Well for beating Bowyer, we’ll let you use our cannon!
Petey: You have a cannon?
Mayor: Uh… I’d rather not talk about it. But yes. Go back to town to use it. It’ll take you to Nimbus Land.
Kamek: Why are you here, though?
Mayor: Uh… I’d rather not talk about it.
Quartet: …
Soon, they get back to town. They jump in the cannon, and it takes them to Nimbus Land.