Paper Mario: Goomba Star Saga

By Keroh Toad

Chapter 2: Beanbean Kingdom

Unfortunately, Iggy will be joining us for this story too.


Anyway, on with th-

Iggy: Don't listen to this awful story! Close out of it while you still can!


Last time, Mario met Goombella and Bombelle, and they got onto a ship to the Beanbean Kingdom, but the ship started to get attacked by Cheep Cheeps, Luigi went to Petey's Pizza Palace and ordered the usual... whatever that is, and Charlie the Goomba was playing "Marco Polo" with a High Definition Flat Screen TV....but the TV still hadn't said "Polo". Oh, and the Goombas failed to take over Teehee Valley.

Mario: This doesn't look good...

Bombelle: How come you just said that twice?

Mario: Huh?

Bombelle: Never mind.

Goombella sees a crack on the wall.

Goombella: Hey, guys. There's a crack over there that seems to be getting...

Mario and Bombelle turn to see the crack.

Goombella: ...bigger.


Goombella and Bombelle: Hey!


The 3 "heroes" start running around in random directions screaming. All of a sudden some water seeps out of the crack.

Bombelle: STOP!

Everybody stops running.

Bombelle: We can't just run around like idiots until we drown! We gotta go up and help the chubby Shy Guy!

Mario: But I like running around like an idiot...

Bombelle: We get plenty of running when we get to enemies! Now let's get to the chubby Shy Guy.

We see the chubby Shy Guy's seat, and it's empty. Soon the door behind it flies open and the 3 heroes walk through.

Goombella: He's GONE!

Bombelle: And there's some kind of red substance on the seat...

Goombella: Could it be...


Mario picks up a flattened ketchup pack.

Mario: The chubby Shy Guy sat on a few of these things.

Bombelle: Oh!

Goombella: That's better than the other explanation of that stuff.

Mario: What's the other explanation?

Goombella: Never mind.

A loud crack and the sound of falling rocks is heard.

Bombelle: Uh oh...

Mario: Quick! Open the door before the whole ship gets filled with water!

Mario tries to open the door, but it won't budge.

Mario: That's just great...

Bombelle: Where did Goombella go?

Mario and Bombelle look around the room, but Goombella is nowhere to be seen.

Mario: Maybe she drowned...

Bombelle: Noo!

???: Hey guys! Come here!

Mario: Is that... Goombella's ghost?

Bombelle: Goombella, we don't want to die yet! We know dying will take us with you, but...

Goombella: What? No, I didn't die! The ship isn't sinking! We're on land!

Mario: Huh?

Mario and Bombelle go where the crack is and see there is no water around them. They walk through the crack and see the chubby Shy Guy holding an axe, and Goombella standing on the land of the Beanbean Kingdom.

Chubby Shy Guy: I made that crack in the ship once we got to land, which was three seconds after the Cheep Cheeps started attacking us.

Bombelle: Why did you make a crack there?

Chubby Shy Guy: Well the other option was to tell you guys over the intercom that we had landed, but where's the fun in that? Besides, the door next to me got stuck with a piece of bubble gum that I accidently dropped when I got out.

Mario: What's with the ketchup pack squishing?

Chubby Shy Guy: It's a Shy Guy thing. I don't know why we do it, it's just fun...

Mario sees an innocent... unsquished ketchup pack lying by his feet, and he stomps on it.

Mario: That was kinda fun...

Bombelle: I guess that would be fun... for people with short attention spans... It's just like bubble wrap.

Miles away, we see Charlie the Goomba walking across a meadow.

Charlie: Did somebody say bubble wrap? BUBBLE WRAP! BUBBLE WRAAAAP!

And at Petey's Pizza Palace...

Luigi: Okay okay, people! I know that I'm holding up your orders, but... Hey! Put that torch down! ... But you guys need to calm down.

Keroh Toad: Like having to wait four more days to get on the ship to Toad Town wasn't bad enough.

Luigi: Can you stop appearing in your own stories already?!

Keroh Toad: I'm in my own story? AAAH! No flash photography!

Keroh Toad covers his face with a newspaper and runs away.

Chef Boo: Petey! We're almost done making the usual!

Petey: That's nice...

Chef Shy Guy: You don't care about this plot anymore, do you?

Petey: I lost interest after the twelfth hour of making the usual.

Chef Shy Guy: I still think you aren't a good manager.

Petey: And I still think you should take off that mask.

Chef Shy Guy: I'll be good! I promise! Anything but the mask! Pleaase!

Meanwhile, at the Goomba Gathering...

King Goomba: Well, we've come to a decision. We will now try taking over the Beanbean Castle!

Spiny Goomba: I guess that'll be easier than taking over Teehee Valley.

Back in the Beanbean Kingdom...

Mario: Wow, I didn't know we had three stories going on in this plot.

Goombella: Don't forget Charlie's journey for the High Definition Flat Screen TV.

Mario: Four stories to the plot!

Bombelle: Can you two stop talking about the story we're staring in?

Goombella: We're the stars of this story? Cool!

Mario: I'm a bigger star than you two, though.

Bombelle: You don't need to brag about it.

Mario: Yes I do...

An orange pops up in front of Mario for no apparent reason.

Keroh Toad: The Vitamin C! So... HORRIBLE! AAAH! I'm appearing in my story again! Make the camera go away! Please!

Keroh Toad runs out of view. A TV pops up in front of Mario, Peach appearing on the screen.

Peach (on TV): Mario! The Goombas are heading toward Beanbean Castle! Oh, and have a nice day!

The TV shuts off.

Mario: I wonder how she knows everything that's happening with enemies.

The TV turns back on.

Peach (on TV): I have resources.

The TV shuts off and vanishes.

Mario: The plot thickens...

And now time for the...


Uh, thanks...

Iggy: You aren't not at all can't not welcomed.

Wha...? Anyway....

Will Keroh Toad appear in his own story again? How come he didn't use the cheese joke this time, or did he? When will we find out what the usual is? When will Charlie find the High Definition Flat Screen TV? Will the Chef Shy Guy's mask get taken off? What resources is Peach talking about? Will I find out what Iggy meant? Will the questions ever be this long again? Find out in the next part.

Read on!

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.