Paper Mario: Goomba Star Saga

By Keroh Toad

Chapter 3: The Beginning of the End

Iggy: What do you mean by "The Beginning of the End"?


No, it's just the title name.

Iggy: You really got to stop making weird titles like that.

Last time, Mario, Bombelle, and Goombella made it to the Beanbean Kingdom. Peach informed them that the Goombas are heading toward Beanbean Castle. Luigi tried to calm down the crowd in Petey's Pizza Palace, since his order was taking so long, and we still don't know what his order is. Oh yeah, and Charlie the Goomba is still wandering around Plit.

Bombelle: I guess we should go to Beanbean Castle.

Mario: Do we haaave to?

Bombelle: Yes.

Mario: Ooookaay.

Goombella: It's weird how he acts like a kid sometimes...


Goombella: I didn't say anything about your mo-AAAH! BOMBELLE! GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!

Mario is chasing Goombella around in circles.

Bombelle: Two great heroes, reduced to childish acts....

Meanwhile, at Petey's Pizza Palace.

Luigi: Please, people... Hey! Don't point that flamethrower at me! Anyway, please stop getting so angry. I'm sure they're almost done with my order.

Inside the kitchen we see Chef ShyGuy and Chef Boo running away from millions of flying pizzas.

Chef Boo: How much dough did you put in the machine?!

Chef Shy Guy: ... A lot... The Snifit Cook always knew the right amount of dough, I just watched...

Petey: You two are pathetic.

Back with the angry crowd...

Luigi: Uh, let's sing a relaxing song... related to pizza... to pass the time.

Keroh is listening to a song on his iShroom.

Random Shy Guy: Hmm....

The Random Shy Guy yanks the headphones out of the iShroom and the music plays loudly in the room.

iShroom: PIZZA PIZZA PIE! I WANT PIZZA PIE! EVERY MINUTE EVERY SECOND PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE! Pizza pizza PIEEE, Pizza pizza pie, every minute every second pie pie pie pie PIE! Pepporoni angry peppers mushrooms all the time... PEPPERONI ANGRY PEPPERS MUSHROOMS ALL THE TIME!-

Keroh: My iShroom!

Keroh turns off the iShroom.


Child Snifit: Pizza pie!

Random Dry Bones: No, just pizza.

Child Snifit: Oh, ok.

Many miles away...


Back to Mario chasing Goombella...

Mario stops running.

Mario: I sense a disturbance in the force.

Goombella: Wha?

Mario: Somebody mentioned pizza, which has cheese on it... and I still haven't gone crazy.

Bombelle: You never went crazy when somebody mentioned cheese before...

Mario: Must... resist... chesse joke... AAAUGH!

Mario falls on the floor.

Bombelle: What happened?

Goombella: Maybe we should call an ambulance.

Bombelle: With what phone?

Goombella: Good point...

So Bombelle and Goombella just stand there waiting for something to happen for... 7 seconds.

Mario jumps up quickly and starts running in a circle around Goombella and Bombelle.

Goombella: I'm scared...

Bombelle: Me too.

Mario: (still running around) I WANT PIZZA PIE! PIZZA PIZZA PIE! EVERY MINUTE EVERY SECOND PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE!!! Pizza pizza PIE! I want pizza pie... Every minute every second pie pie PIE PIE PIE!!! Pepperonni, angry peppers, mushrooms all the time... PEPPERONNI ANGRY PEPPERS MUSHROOMS ALL THE TIME! i NEED theraPY theraPY advertising causes ME theraPY theraPY advertising causes-

Goombella: That song is getting annoying now...

Bombelle: Again, he has a short attention span. That song never gets old to him.

Goombella: Oh, I bet the Goombas are having a better time than us.

The Goombas are seen walking...

Random Goomba #1: So, how's your day been?

Random Goomba #2: Uh, good, I guess. I bet we're having a better time than Goombella.

Random Goomba #1: I wonder why she never went out with me.

Random Goomba #2: (quietly) Many, many reasons....

Random Goomba #1: What did you say?

Random Goomba #2: Nothing...

Back with the 3 heroes....

Goombella: I sense people talking about me....

Goombella takes out a ray gun and shoots it in a random direction.

Same Random Goomba #1: For real, what did you say?

Same Random Goomba #2: I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!

Random Goomba #1 gets shot in the head bythe ray gun.

Random Goomba #1: What the?

Back with the 3 heroes...

Bombelle: How come I don't get a sense for anything?

Goombella: What do you mean?

Bombelle: Mario gets a cheese sense, you have a... people talking about you sense. What do I get?

Mario is still singing...

Bombelle: Exactly, I get a crazed plumber singing a crazy song running around me in circles.

Goombella: Seems like a great prize...

Bombelle: That's it!

Bombelle runs in front of Mario and blows up. Mario falls on his back and is burnt.

Bombelle: Finally, now can we get to Beanbean Castle?

Mario: Sure.

Mario, Goombella, and Bombelle-

Bombelle: Hey, how come my name is last?

... Bombelle, Mario, and Goombella go to Beanbean Castle, passing the weird-looking stores, and see that the castle looks normal on the outside, except that the two guards in the front are gone.

Mario: Maybe they're on a lunch break.

Goombella: Who eats lunch at 7:08 AM?

Mario: Me.

Bombelle: I'm not surprised.

Mario, Goombella, and Bombelle go inside the castle.

Goombella: What happened here?

They see that there is... very badly drawn graffiti everywhere and the room is empty.

Mario: What does that one say? "G00mb@ f0r 1f3"?

Goombella: It means "Goomba for life".

Bombelle: And you know that... how?

Goombella: I got used to a lot of bad graffiti when I used to hang out with those guys.

Bombelle: What does that one say? "1 p\?/ 8*%^^3 ##3@ 9(3h^%".

Goombella: I remember there was this one guy that made graffiti that made no sense at all, so it doesn't mean anything.

Bombelle: Oh, ok.

Mario: Let's go to that room over there that says ")0 \0T 3\T3r".

Goombella: That means Do Not Enter!

Bombelle: Too late.

Mario opens the door and stops moving.

Goombella: What is it?

Bombelle and Goombella walk over by Mario and they stop moving too.

Bombelle: Woah...

They see a giant crowd of Goombas in the room. All the Goombas are walking in random directions.

Mario: ... Wow...

Random Goomba #1: Goombella! You've come back for me!

Goombella shoots that Goomba with the ray gun again and the Goomba explodes.

Goombella: What a loser.

Bombelle: Yup.

Goombella: Hey, Mario still isn't moving.

7 seconds later, Mario gets up and...


Bombelle: That's just great...

A drumroll is heard.

It is now time for, ANNOYING QUESTIONS! DUN DUN DUUUN! And here they go:

What will happen to our 3 heroes? Will Keroh ever trust a Shy Guy near his iShroom again? Will the chefs find a way to clean up after their messes and keep going on other peoples' orders? Why didn't Petey take off Chef Shy Guy's mask? Why won't that darn High Definition Flat Screen TV ever say POLO? Why did the pizza pie song all of a sudden come?

Iggy: This story is actually getting kinda good.

Actually I can answer that last question right now: In the making of this part of the story, the author was continuosly listening to the "Pizza Pie" song. For one and a half hours, to be exact.

Iggy: Wow...

Anyway, find out all those questions in the next part.

Iggy: I wonder how long this story goes...

Actually, the next part of the story is the last part.

Iggy: WHAT?!

Read on!

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