Chapter 3: Digging Up Trouble
At the Dark Beings' castle...
Dark Goomba: All right, Lemmy, get to interviewing!
Lemmy: But I don’t have anyone to interview.
Dark Goomba: You can interview MEEEEEEEEEEE!
Lemmy: Oh joy.
Dark Goomba: Ask me a question, NOW!
Lemmy: Ok, why did you capture me?
Dark Goomba: BECAUSE I'M EVIL! MUAHAHHAHAH!
Dark Bob-omb: Um, sir? We have another problem.
Dark Goomba: What? I'm busy, so go away.
Dark Bob-omb: I'm very sorry, sir, but we have a report that Dark Buzzy has been defeated.
Dark Goomba: WHAT?! FIRST DARK KOOPA AND NOW HIM? WHAT DO I PAY YOU GUYS FOR?
Dark Bob-omb: Well you don’t pay us at all, but anyway, the good news is I found the Elemental Stone and I put it in a place the fools will never get it from.
Meanwhile...
G.G: Were are we now?
Koopa 13: I don’t know, but I think were in a tunnel.
G.G: Well this must be where the next Star, is so lets look for it
The three of them head off toward the unknown darkness.
G.G: Look over there! It’s the Koopalings!
Koopa 13: What? Them?!
G.G: What are they doing here?
They go over to them and find they are knocked out.
Koopa 13: But who could have done this?
I don’t know, I’m the narrator.
G.G: Well what should we do, fart on them until they wake up?
The Water Star comes out and water covers the Koopalings and they wake up.
G.G: WOAH, DID YOU SEE THAT? The Star just healed them! So that’s what the water stone does!
Larry: Ugh, what the... Who are you guys?
Koopa 13: None of your concern.
Roy: Wait, I know you guys, you’re the schmoes that Lemmy hired to interview.
G.G: Looks like out popularity has grown. We may just get on to Tourists' Choice before long, HINT HINT.
Koopa 13: Yep, and Lemmy has been captured.
Wendy: We know, we were there. We were just hanging out behind the stage minding our own koopa business when suddenly we heard a noise and saw those Dark Beings captured our poor brother. Before we could do anything the Interview show started to sink and we woke up here.
Ludwig: What are you guys doing here?
Koopa 13: Oh, does the genius know nothing?
Ludwig: I know things!
Larry: Yeah, very FEW things.
Chompy: Ruff huff.
Morton: The Elemental Stars those things I love those things there very cool and awesome and stoney do you like stoney I hate stone ice cream it’s very weird-tasting and rocky-like and…
Iggy: Do you even know what they are?
Morton: No.
G.G: Anyway, do you know where they are?
Morton: No but-
Larry whacks Morton in the face.
Larry: If it will help Lemmy then we'll do what we can.
Koopa 13: Ok, then follow us.
The three heroes and the Koopalings head off into the tunnel.
G.G: Woah, look at this! An underground city!
Koopa 13: I bet some strange creatures live here.
Iggy: Well what are we standing around for? Let's go down there.
They all slide down on their butts to the city.
Wendy: Hmm. Maybe that Star of yours is in here as well.
G.G: Well, only one way to find out. Get over here, you stupid Star!
G.G.’s voice echoes throughout the city, and a bunch of Monty Moles pop their heads out of their houses.
Monty Mole: Huh, what? HEY! IT”S THEM!!!
Monty Mole 2: Eeeeeeeeeeeeek! It’s them! Oh my gosh! Eek eek!
This Monty jumps around like a screaming fangirl.
Roy: I see the great Roy is as cool and popular as ever.
Monty Mole: We ain’t talking to you, moron.
Koopalings: Then you must be talking to us.
Monty Moles: NO, NOT YOU EITHER!
They walk past the Koopalings and head toward the three heroes.
Monty Mole: It’s Double G Goomba! Oh, I’m so siked to be meeting you!
G.G: Heh heh. I know you are.
Monty Mole: Oh my gosh! Koopa 13! You are my idol!
Koopa 13: What did you just say?
Monty Mole: And Chompy is here, too! You are the best, man!
Chompy's face turns red.
G.G: Well, how nice to find people who actually appreciate us
Larry: Hello? We're the KOOPALNGS! The baddest of the bad.
Monty Mole: Yeah, whatever. Anyway, what brings you three to our village?
Koopa 13: You call this a village?
Chompy: Bark bark!
Monty Mole: Oh, the Elemental Stone, huh? Well we could give it to you, but you gotta do something for us first.
Koopa 13: Is it whacking your head with a hammer?
Monty Mole: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- *dies*
Monty Mole 2: No, we need you to do two things for us. One, interview all of us Monty Moles in one of your crazy cool Interviews.
G.G: You mean a couple of you guys, right?
Monty Mole: No, I mean THE ENTIRE VILLAGE!
G.G: Oh jeez.
Kooopa 13: Okay, let’s start out by you, G.G, asking a question.
A few agonizing hours later...
G.G: I will never interview another mole again.
Koopa 13: Me neither.
Chompy: Bark.
G.G: Hey, what happened to the Koopalings?
Koopa 13: Did they get captured or what?
Chompy: Bark.
G.G: Yeah, forget about them. What's the second thing you wanted us to do?
Monty Mole: Come with us.
They are taken to a part of town that has been completely destroyed.
G.G: Woah. What happened here? Looks like something died and exploded in here.
Monty Mole: This used to be another part of our town, but then it was destroyed by the monster that hunts us down and eats us. It’s called the Giganto. Every day we must hide in fear. If this keeps up then we will all be destroyed.
G.G: So I take it you want us to destroy this Giganto thing, right?
Monty Mole: Yes, and in exchange you will get the stone.
Koopa 13: This thing is obviously no match for us. We can kick its butt all the way to the desert level and back.
Chompy: Bark bark.
Monty Mole: Just what we wanted to hear.
Monty Mole 2: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! It approaches!
All the Monty Moles hide. The place starts to shake from the beast's footsteps.
G.G: Oh jeez. This thing sounds big
Koopa 13: But I wonder if it’s Bigfoot.
G.G: It’s Bigfoot, all right, and it’s gonna use its feet to squish us flat!
Chompy: B-bark.
The monster appears. It is a giant anteater that roars loudly.
*Commence battle*
G.G : 50 HP
Koopa 13: 50
hp
Chompy: 40 HP
Vs.
Giganto: 50 HP
G.G. uses Multibonk and does 7 damage.
Koopa 13 uses Shell Spin and does 7 damage.
Chompy uses Crush and does 7 damage.
Gigantor uses Chomp and does 10 damage to each character.
* Status *
G.G: 40 HP
Koopa 13: 40
HP
Chompy: 20 HP
Vs.
Gigantor: 29
HP
G.G. uses Multibonk and does 7 damage.
Koopa 13 uses Air Shell and does 10 damage.
Chompy uses Crunch and does 7 damage.
Giganto uses Quake and does 15 damage to the party.
* Status *
G.G: 15 HP
Koopa 13: 15
HP
Chompy: 5 HP
Vs.
Gigantor: 5 HP
G.G. uses Spin
Bonk and does 10 damage.
Gigantor deafeated.
*End of battle*
Gigantor faints.
G.G: WE DID IT!
Koopa 13: Yes, but what now?
Chompy: BARK BARK BARK!!!
G.G: What’s up, Chompy?
Chompy points up at its head and shows that the Elemental Star is on its head.
G.G: It’s the Star! So that’s what the mole meant by you will get the stone in exchange. Let’s get it and-
??: Not so fast!
In a flash, the Star is gone and the Gigantor turns into a Monty Mole.
Monty Mole: Huh? What happened? And why do I feel like a vicious monster?
G.G: Where did the Star go?
?? : Over here, moron.
They turn around and see the Koopalings are behind them tied up, and Dark Bob-omb is next to them.
Dark Bob-omb: Hello, friends. What’s up?
Koopa 13: You are one of the Dark Beings who attacked Lemmy’s Interviews. I shouldn’t be surprised.
Dark Bob-omb: Of course you shouldn’t. Now then, if you wish to see these Koopalings alive and not blown up, then meet me at the end of this little town, and bring the Elemental Stars.
G.G: What, so you think we actually care what happens to the Stupalings?
Dark Bob-omb: You will care if you want this!
He pulls out the Elemental Stone of Earth.
G.G: He has the Stone!
Dark Bob-omb: Yes, you see, I powered that Mole you just beat up with this stone, and if you don’t want to keep fighting it then do as I say.
He takes the Koopalings and makes his leave.
Koopa 13: Let him take the Koopalings while we find the stone. Wait a minute- he has the stone! After him!
They follow after him.
Dark Bob-omb: It’s about time that you made it! I have been waiting for the past two minutes! Now give me the Stars and they get hurt!
Iggy: Don’t you mean no one gets hurt?
Dark Bob-omb: Whatever!
G.G: Why do you need these Stars anyway?
Dark Bob-omb: We don’t need the Stars, they just stand in our way. Once we destroy them, nothing can stop us. Right now, as we speak, the doom device is sucking up the greatest interviewers in the Land. Then the doom machine will absorb their power, and once it’s full we will destroy the rest of the interviewers with the machine by reversing the ray by changing it from suck to blow and shooting a blast of energy at Lemmy's Land, destroying everything!
G.G: Very descriptive, aren’t we? Why haven’t you sucked us up then?
Dark Bob-omb: I said the GREATEST interviewers, not the ones that make spelling errors constantly and really bad jokes!
G.G: WHY YOU LITTLE!!!
Dark Bob-omb: Uhn uhn uhn! Make one bad move and the Star is toast.
Chompy: Grr.
Suddenly Monty Moles drop down from the ceiling and drop on top of Dark Bob-omb. They take the Star from him, untie the Koopalings, and give the Star to the three heroes.
G.G: All right! We got the Star back!
Wendy: My heroes!
She plants a kiss on each of them.
G.G: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Gross! *cough* I think I’m gonna throw up!
Koopa 13: Don’t tell anyone I have been kissed by an ugly girl.
Chompy coughs up a bunch of Lakitus.
Lakitu: FREEDOM!
Dark Bob-omb: How dare you attack me? I shall take my anger out on you three! Prepare to perish!
*Commence battle*
G.G: 50 HP
Koopa 13: 50
HP
Chompy: 40 HP
Vs
Dark Bob-omb:
60 HP
G.G. uses Multibonk and does 7 damage.
Koopa 13 uses Shell Shield and protects G.G.
Chompy uses Charge and raises his Attack by 3.
Dark Bob-omb uses Mega Explosion and does 10 damage to koopa 13 and 7 damage to Chompy.
G.G: 50 HP
Koopa 13: 40
HP
Chompy: 33 HP
Vs.
Dark Bob-omb:
53 hP
G.G. uses High-Five on Koopa 13 and gives him an extra turn.
Koopa 13 does Air Shell and does 10 damage, then uses Shell Spin and does 7 damage.
Chompy uses Crush and does 13 damage.
Dark Bob-omb uses Air Bomb and breaks G.G.’s shell/
G.G: 50 HP
Koopa 13: 40
HP
Chompy: 33 HP
Vs
Dark Bob-omb:
23 HP
G.G uses Spin Bonk and does 10 damage.
* Koopa 13 defends.
Chompy uses the Elemental Star and does Fire Wave, which blows up Dark Bob-omb but does 5 damage to each character.
* END OF BATTLE *
Dark Bob-omb: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
He explodes.
Koopa 13: Wow! Cool explosion!
G.G: All right, let’s take the Star.
They pick up the Star.
Monty Mole: Thank you for everything; we are in debt to you three.
G.G: Just send us 100 dollars every month at Lemmy’s Interview Show, an'd well be even Steven.
Koopa 13: Ugh. I hate that show.
G.G: All right, now let's get out of here!
Wendy: But I need to reward you three!
G.G, Koopa 13, and Chompy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
They warp out of there.