Prologue: Idiots Become Bold... But Still Are Idiots
One day, Wario and Waluigi were walking down a path. Why they were, you'll never know! However, we can assume it's just for the sake of story progression.
Wario: SHUT UP!
Fatigue sets in, turning Wario into even more of a JERK!
Wario: I hate you...
Waluigi: Shut up, fat boy!
Wario: Grrrrr!
Wario and Waluigi begin beating each other up. And by that, I mean that they're trying to slap each other, but missing horribly. A Toad soon runs through the fight, sending Wario and Waluigi into a nearby tree.
Toad: MARIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Waluigi: WHY ARE YOU YELLING?!
The Toad, distracted by this, hits a Fuzzbush. This gives him poisoning, and the inability to get complete thoughts out.
Waluigi: YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION! YOU JUST SORTA HURT YOURSELF!
Toad: Princess... Peach... Beanbean... take... need... MARIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The Toad dies.
Wario: Well, that was odd.
Waluigi: HEY! I bet that this is just another "Bowser kidnapped Peach" story, and that the Toad was seeing Mario to tell him so he could get the fame, glory, and kisses from the princess! And, he must've had beans for lunch!
Wario: Yeah...
Waluigi: You know what that means, right?
Wario: Yep!
Wario goes to a nearby "Taco Eeker", where he eats a bean burrito. Of course, he drives the restaurant to the ground when he gets a bill.
Waluigi: NO! I mean, let's not tell Mario and Luigi about this, and take the reward for ourselves!
Wario: OH! Why can't I think of stuff like that?
Because you're fat!
Wario: Yeah, that must be... HEY!
Waluigi: Let's GO already.
Wario: NO! I have to kill the author!
Waluigi (somehow) drags Wario all the way to Toad Town, where everyone is panicking.
Waluigi: Excuse me... pardon... a moment of your...
However, Waluigi can't figure out why all of the Toads are panicking, because... well, they're panicking, and don't have time to answer a purple stick guy.
Wario: EVERYONE SHUT UP, OR I'LL EAT YOU!
All of the Toads immediately stop and go into the fetal position. Waluigi walks up to one.
Waluigi: Why are you panicking?
Toad: T-t-trouble at the CASTLE! BOOM! BOOM! Peach SCREAM! Bowser'... NO! BEANBEAN LIMA!
All of the Toads explode due to repressing their fear.
Waluigi: HA! Told you! That proves it!
Wario: Whatever, let's just get the money.
Wario and Waluigi walk up to Peach's Castle. However, two still-sane Toads stop them.
Toad Guard 1: HALT! Thou shaln't pass!
Waluigi: Wha?
Toad Guard 2: He said you can't pass.
Wario: And I suppose you're gunna try to stop us?
Toad Guard 1: I shall skewer thou with thy javelin!
Toad Guard 1 pulls out a spear.
Toad Guard 2: And I DIDN'T leave it at home this time!
Toad Guard 2 pulls out his bazooka.
Wario Bros: OH SNAP!
Random Bystander: WAIT! You guys weren't in Superstar Saga, which this is a spoof of!
Toad Guards: Oh... well... um...
The Toad Guards kill Random Bystander.
Toad Guard 2: HEY! If you two give us a body bag, we'll forget we ever saw you. Sound good?
Wario: Um... sure! (Freak.)
Wario gives Toad Guard 2 a paper bag from the remains of "Taco Eeker" and gives it to Toad Guard 1.
Toad Guard 1: Thank thou.
The Toad Guards bag up Random Bystander's body and carry him away. Wario and Waluigi then enter the castle.
Wario: What was that all about?
Waluigi: Probably just a way to waste time.
They soon reach the door to Peach's throne room. However, they soon find that...
Waluigi: IT'S LOCKED!
Wario: Don't worry, I have an idea! I read this in a Fun Fic once.
Wario uses Waluigi as a battering ram to break down the door. However, the door goes flying and hits Bowser...
Wario: JUNIOR?!
Waluigi: Yes, Mommy?
Bowser Junior: Yeah. King Dad was busy doing something right now, so he sent me! That's why there was an appostraphe on Bowser when that Toad in Toad Town was rambling nonsence! He was going to say "Bowser's son!"
Waluigi: So... where's Bowser?
Meanwhile, with Bowser...
Bowser: Finally, I WILL DESTROY THE WORLD WITH THIS DEVICE THAT I TOOK FROM THE DRYEST BONES!
Bowser activates TDB's doomsday machine, but it backfires and blows up his castle, sending him into the sky.
Bowser: This seems all-too familiar...
Back with the Wario Bros...
Wario: Well, big boy or not, we'll beat you, save Peach, and get rich doing it!
Bowser Junior: BRING IT!
Mini-Boss BATTLE!
Wario (25/25 HP)
Waluigi (15/15
HP)
VS
Bowser Junior
(10/10 HP)
Junior: HEY! Luigi didn't fight with Mario in Superstar Saga at first!
Waluigi: Well, I'm no green-garbed coward.
Junior: But you're supposed to be a purple one!
Waluigi: I got over it!
Wario uses "Punch
in Face" on Junior. -5 HP
Junior: OW! MEANIE!
Waluigi uses "Tennis Racket Hit" on Junior. -3 HP Junior: STOP IT!
Junior uses "Ulitmate
Doom Shell" on Waluigi. -1 HP
Junior: WHAT?!
Wario uses "Sit
on Opponent" on Junior. -2 HP!
Wario Bros. WIN!
Junior: Ugh, enough of that now, 'cause Mama Peach has bigger problems!
Wario: What do you mean?
Peach, who had been conveniently sitting on her throne this whole time, talks. However, no one can understand these words. Suddenly, they all drop from their word bubble and explode when they hit the ground.
Bowser Junior: SEE?! She has an explosive vocabulary!
Wario: How'd this happen?
Toad Fanfare Guy: I know! I just didn't want to talk before, because that'd ruin my big entrance!
One explaining of Superstar Saga's intro later...
Wario: So a Beanbean ambassador from the Beanbean Kingdom wanted to improve the ties between the Beanbean and Mushroom Kingdoms, but instead stole Peach's voice, turned into a witch, battled you, struck everyone with lightning, and flew away with an insane Beanbean person?
Toad Fanfare Guy: *whisper whisper*
Wario: And now I seem like an idiot because I'm repeating everything you're saying?
Toad Fanfare Guy: Yeah, that's about right.
Waluigi: Not our problem!
Toad Fanfare Guy: I'll pay you if you go!
Wario: It's our problem!
Junior: Excellent! I want Mama Peach's voice back way more than the next guy, so we'll take my Junior Koopa Cruiser! I'll be stationed in Mushroom International Airport, so HURRY UP!
Bowser Junior jumps out of a nearby window.
Waluigi: Well, what exactly did we get ourselves into?
Wario: An adventure
of pain.
Chapter 1: Junior Koopa Cruiser Calamity
Wario: *looks at title of chapter* Wait, why is the author pointing out this event? It isn't even that special!
DAD wills it!
Waluigi: Why do you keep saying that? It's been, like, the third time (in all stories combined).
Every other tourist with 100 or more Koopaling Votes has a catchphrase! I want one too!
Wario: O...k...
Waluigi: Where exactly are we?
In the middle of Toad Town.
Wario: Oh... now what?
Waluigi: We could talk to the Toads like Mario did.
Wario: Did you forget they're all dead?
Waluigi: Oh yeah...
Wario: We could talk to that pilot guy!
Waluigi: Why not?
Wario and Waluigi walk up to one of the pilots of the Junior Koopa Cruiser.
Pilot: Ooh! Where's the cruiser?!
Wario: Um... inside that factory over there?
Pilot: Thanks a bundle!
The pilot enters a nearby factory. However, just as he enters, a wrecking ball hits the factory, and it crumbles to the ground. The wrecking ball, driven by Foreman Spike, then goes through an empty Toad Town.
Foreman Spike: And now, for stuff in Hoohoo Village!
The wrecking ball leaves.
Waluigi: Now what?
Wario: Um... Go to Club 64?
Waluigi: Actually, it's Club Wii now.
Wario: Whatever!
Wario and Waluigi go to Club Wii and party. Two days later...
Junior: YOU'RE LATE! BY TWO DAYS!
Wario: Well SORRY!
Junior: What's with the lampshades?
Wario: Um... "Do not question things you cannot understand?"
Junior: -_-
Wario: What?
Junior: Just get on the ship, BOTH OF YOU!
Wario and Waluigi enter a hatch in the ship.
Junior: Bowser Junior Baddies, ASSEMBLE!
About four baddies go to the Koopa Cruiser.
Junior: WHAT HAPPENED?! I BROUGHT 15!
Baddie: 10 of us were gambling, and they won... but Toadsworth threw them in the dungeon for beating him. Foreman Spike killed number 11.
Junior: Just get on the ship, ALL OF YOU!
Baddies: YES, SIR!
Junior: And... TAKEOFF!
The Junior Koopa Cruiser begins its ascent. A few minutes later...
Wario: I'm bored...
Junior (on an intercom): FATSO! STICKMAN! Get your rear ends to the deck ON THE DOUBLE!
Waluigi: And if we refuse?
Junior: I feed you to my new pet, Harold!
Wario: Which is?
Junior: A rabid Boss Bass... with a Chain Chomplet inside.
Wario and Waluigi: O-o-OK!
Wario and Waluigi immediately begin running. They quickly run into the Bowser Junior baddie taking the pictures.
Photographer: YOU TWO!
Wario and Waluigi: Yeah?
Photographer: You need passports to get into the Beanbean Kingdom!
Wario Bros: But, we don't have any!
Photographer: I'll take pictures for you for practically no good reason! And, since I just sto... I mean, took... I mean, GOT a second camera in Toad Town, I can take both of your pictures at once!
Wario: Is it free?
Photographer: Why not?
Wario: All right then!
Photographer: Say "I HATE CHEESE-LOVERS!"
Wario and Waluigi try to pose, but a piece of metal hits their head, making them take on embarassing poses at the time of the picture.
Photographer: Ew... WELL, no retakes! Thank you, have a nice day, and here are your passports!
The photographer quickly drops the passports on the ground and leaves. However, he accidently falls into a jet engine.
Waluigi: Well, let's keep going.
They walk randomly through many, many halls. Finally, a barrel blocks their path.
Wario: Let's break it.
Random Bowser Junior Baddie: NO! There's a Goomba in that barrel!
Waluigi: So?
RBJB: Goombas are people, too! Just deformed, wimpy Mushroom people.
Wario: And you have a Goomba in a barrel BECAUSE...
RBJB: THEY'RE ON TO ME!
Random Bowser Junior Baddie breaks the barrel, squishing the Goomba. He then randomly jumps out of the Cruiser and lands in the middle of an ocean.
Waluigi: Well... this is pointless.
Wario: Chapter expansion. Nothing more.
Waluigi: Well, we'd better get to the deck.
Wario: Yeah...
Wario and Waluigi (after much random wandering) finally make it to the deck.
Junior: It's about time, losers!
Wario: If I wouldn't get sued by the Koopa King, who runs the court systems, I would so throw you off of this ship!
Junior: WHATEVER! Anyway, according to this map that I painted on the floor, we're about to enter the Beanbean Kingdom.
Waluigi: Let the torment begin.
Junior: Why do you say that?
Suddenly, a ball of green fire hits Junior, knocking him unconscious. Fawful and Cackletta then come to the ship's bow on their flying machines.
Wario: The ship has a bow? Is it Birdo's, becuase that one's diamond-encrusted!
BOW! THE FRONT OF A SHIP! Duh...
Wario: How should I know that?
Cackletta: ACK! We had two and a half days of a head start, and you still catch up?
Waluigi: Apparently.
Cackletta: Fawful! Do you know why they caught up?
Fawful: Due to your, Mistress Cackletta's, most plentiful trips to the room that gives rest and relief is the reasoning that I use to spread my mustard of belief on the bread that is truth!
Cackletta: Am I the only one that needs subtitles for what he says?
Fawful: To you, I say no.
Bowser Junior Baddie: ... I'VE GOT IT! DUE TO CACKLETTA'S CONSTANT TRIPS TO THE BATHROOM, WE CAUGHT UP! And NO!
The Bowser Junior Baddie shows a ribbon that says "Evil Genius".
Cackletta: Now here's your reward!
Cackletta strikes the baddie with lightning, and he falls into Barrel Volcano.
Cackletta: Fawful, the rest I leave to you.
Cackletta flies away.
Fawful: I shall dispose of these fink-rats in a matter that would be most pleasant and gracious of your liking!
Waluigi: Bring it on!
Fawful: To you, I say YES!
Wario (27/27 HP)
Waluigi (20/20
HP)
VS
Fawful (32/32
HP)
Wario uses "Punch
in Face". 6 damage.
Wario: Why'd
we change the damge distribution format?
Felt like it!
Wario: Wonderful
answer.
Waluigi uses "Slap
in Face". 2 damage.
Waluigi: Why
is my attack so weak?!
Fawful uses "Annoyance
through the impediment that goes by the definition of speech!" on Wario.
20 Damage.
Wario: MAKE IT
STOP!
Wario (7/27 HP)
Waluigi (20/20
HP)
VS
Fawful (24/32
HP)
Wario uses "Body Slam". 14 damage.
Waluigi uses "Doom of the skinny filler character!" 8 damage.
Fawful uses "Bite Leg" on Waluigi. 10 damage.
Wario (7/27 HP)
Waluigi (10/20
HP)
VS
Fawful (2/32
HP)
I don't feel like giving Wario another attack, so... Fawful gets hit by a rock! 2 damage! Wario and Waluigi win!
Fawful: How could me, Cackletta's most bestest pupil, be defeated by fink-rats such as you?
Waluigi: We just beat the stuffing out of you.
Fawful: That gives me rage and doom! The kind of rage that can only be described as FURY! I HAVE FURY! And I will unleash my fury in the form that is the device that will explode the Koopa Cruiser with the added title of Junior! I HAVE FURY!
Fawful flies away with his headgear.
Wario: We do need subtitles for that guy.
Subtitles: PICK ME! I just got cut out of a public-acess television program.
Wario: Are you free?
Subtitles: Sure?
Wario: Then we'll take you!
Subtitles: YAY! Fawful said that he put an explosive on this ship that will probably detonate...
The Junior Koopa Cruiser explodes.
Subtitles: NOW!
Wario: You're fired.
Subtitles: Darn.
Chapter 2: Stardust or Bust
Wario and Waluigi are falling like meteors out of the sky.
Waluigi: Should we be panicking?
Wario: Nah. Since it'd be stupid if the protagonists died in the second chapter, we probably won't.
Waluigi: Why are you breaking the fourth wall?
Wario: The fourth what?
Waluigi: -_-
Wario and Waluigi finally hit the ground, making small, barely noticable craters. However, the Junior Koopa Cruiser falls on top of them, leaving a large, very noticable crater.
Wario Bros: Ow!
They eventually get out of the remains of the evil ship and see one Bowser Junior baddie lying in a small crater next to theirs.
Bowser Junior Baddie: Well *cough* it's about time I died. *wheeze*.
Waluigi: Why do you say that?
Bowser Junior Baddie: Everyone else *enter dying noise here* was killed... Why not me?
Wario: Good point...
The Bowser Junior baddie dies.
Wario: What an idiot.
Waluigi: I agree!
Iggy: Don't steal my lines!
Iggy, get back to the portion of the story I haven't written yet!
Iggy: Darn.
Iggy teleports to wherever he first appears.
Wario: So... now what?
Waluigi: We could go across the border that's right next to us.
Wario: Works for me!
Wario and Waluigi walk into the Border Bros' Building.
Older Border Bro: LOOK! It's some idiots that look sorta like Mario and Luigi!
Younger Border Bro: Let's force them to do the Border Jump!
Older Border Bro: YEAH!
Wario: WHAT?!
Younger: It's simple: all you have to do us jump over this rope that we're holding until we decide to stop! Then you can cross!
Waluigi: Shouldn't you just check our passports?
Older: Now where's the fun in that?
Waluigi: -_-
Younger: Start... NOW!
Wario and Waluigi try to jump over the rope. However, due to being so fat, Wario fails miserably.
Older: All right, tubby, 1,956,934,920,000 times is enough!
Wario: Wait... When do I ever play fair?
Wario takes the rope from the Border Bros. and ties them up with it. He then throws them down an extremely large gorge.
Wario: I hope you learned a valuable lesson!
Wario and Waluigi keep going through Stardust Fields, randomly picking on all of the Fighter Flies they see. Soon, they get to a large cannon... with Darth Vader inside.
Waluigi: Wait, isn't it supossed to be Bowser Jr. in the cannon?
Darth Vader: Look, he fell on Hoohoo Mountain, so just GET ME OUT OF THIS CANNON!
Wario: Aren't you skinny enough to get out? And if not, can't you just use your lightsaber?
Darth Vader: I left my saber at the cleaners, and my hand is magnetically stuck to the side of the cannon.
Waluigi: Ah.
???: Well, if it isn't the powerful Dark Lord of the Sith!
Tolstar drops from the sky.
Tolstar: All right, here's the deal, you two. You give me 100 coins, and I'll let ol' Vadey here go.
Darth Vader: I hate you.
Tolstar: So, do we have a deal?
Wario: NO! I will NEVER PART WITH MY PRECIOUS COINS!
Wario pulls out a photograph showing him hugging a large pile of coins.
Tolstar: Wait... Those are Mushroom Kingdom coins!
Wario: And your point?
Tolstar: I'll only accept 100 BEANBEAN coins!
Waluigi: But why would we want to help Darth Vader.
The emperor appears behind them.
Emperor: If you don't, I'll use my UNLIMITED POWER on you!
Wario: And you don't use it on the cannon BECAUSE?
Emperor: I can't hurt cannons- my one weakness.
Wario: I see...
And so Wario and Waluigi randomly run all over Stardust Fields, somehow trying to get a Beanbean coin. Eventually, they reach the Starshade Bros with about 4 coins.
Green Starshade: SIRS! WE MUST TEACH YOU BROS MANEUVERS, SIRS!
Wario: We don't want to.
Red Starstade: Then we'll take you back to our secret army bunker, sirs!
Waluigi: Wait a minute. *whisper whisper*
Wario: I hear you...
Wario knocks down the Starshade Bros, and falls into one of their star-platform things. He then robs them of 96 Beanbean coins.
Wario: Well, let's give the coins to the fat guy.
Wario and Waluigi walk back to Tolstar.
Tolstar: Well, I'll take my 100 coins. NYEKHEKHEKHEKHEK!
Darth Vader: Give it to him!
Emperor: You must.
Wario: Hm... Free Darth Vader, keep money. Free Darth Vader or keep money? Free Darth Vader... KEEP MONEY!
Wario throws the emperor into the cannon. He then blasts them back to a galaxy far, far away.
Tolstar: Accursed curs! I'm SENDING YOU BACK TO THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM FOR BLASTING MY CANNON WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!
Waluigi: Oh boy...
Wario (20...
Tolstar: NO RPG BATTLE!
CURSE YOU! FEEL MY WRATH!
Tolstar is struck by lightning.
Tolstar: It'll take a lot more than that to defeat the King of Stardust Fields!
Wario punches Tolstar in the face. Waluigi wraps himself around Tolstar's legs. A pebble falls on Tolstar.
Tolstar: This is why I hate authors.
Wario then picks up Waluigi and throws him like a boomerang. Waluigi then sets a Bob-omb on Tolstar, which explodes.
Tolstar: All right, you win.
Wario: How'd you like our Boom Bros. attack?! I just made it up!
No, I DID!
Wario: Whatever.
Tolstar: Well... um, bye, I guess.
Waluigi: No... WAY!
Somehow, Waluigi throws the cannon at Tolstar, and it explodes. Tolstar goes flying.
In a galaxy far, far away...
Tolstar: AAAH! Where am I?
Jabba the Hutt: FEED HIM TO THE RANCOR!
Tolstar: Aw crud.
Back with Wario Bros...
Wario: Wow, that was easy.
Waluigi: Yeah.
They go through a nearby cave. However, they emerge on the other side with many wounds.
Wario: Why us?
Chapter 3: Hoohoo... Who Cares?
Wario and Waluigi slowly walk down the path to HooHoo Village. Suddenly, three Beanbean Guards surround the Wario Bros.
Beanbean Guard 1: You! FIENDS! YOU KIDNAPPED PRINCE PEASLEY!
Wario: WH...
Beanbean Guard 2: DON'T DENY IT! YOU'RE THE ENEMY! WE DESTROY THE ENEMY!
Waluigi: But...
Beanbean Guard 3: And don't give us some idiotic excuse: we know who done it: you done it!
Wario: You like colins, don't you?
Beanbean Guard 3: Yeah: why?
Wario: Colins are EVIL WHEN IN SPEECH!
Beanbean Guard 2: THREE! IT WAS YOU!
Beanbean Guard 1: PREPARE FOR YOUR DOOM!
Beanbean Guards 1 and 2 chase after 3.
Waluigi: That was idiotic.
Wario: What in this adventure isn't?
Waluigi: You have a point there...
The Wario Bros. run through HooHoo Village, hearing something about "Blanblandon" or someone similar. However, in their rush, they fall off of the unfinished bridge.
Hoohoo Guy: The bridge isn't finished!
Wario: We figured that out!
Hoohoo Guy: Come back later!
Waluigi: Ok.
Wario and Waluigi enter the Hammerhead Bros' house.
Sledge: Hey, can you get us a Hoohoo Block?
Wario: Will it require work?
Mallet: Yeah.
Wario: Then no.
Hammerhead Bros: Then we'll throw you down the waterfall.
Waluigi: Just for a stupid rock?
Hammerhead Bros: Yeah.
Waluigi: Fine, you win.
Wario: They do?
Waluigi: They do.
Wario: Ah.
Wario and Waluigi get out of the house.
Waluigi: RUN FOR IT!
Wario and Waluigi try to run out of town, but Fawful stops them.
Fawful: Fink-rats of the magnitude level that you're are at the point of do not have the deserving right to run very fastly on that which is feet toward the town that is given the label of Beanbean followed by that which is a higher honored mansion/fortress which is called castle followed by that which is a town!
Wario: Maybe we should've kept the subititles.
Waluigi: He said that Fink-rats like us don't have the right to follow this road that goes to Beanbean Castle Town.
Wario: You can understand him?
Waluigi: No, but I stole the speech booklet from the subtitles.
Wario: Oh.
Fawful: Feel that which is my FURY, FINK-RATS!
Fawful fires a ball of fire at Hoohoo Mountain, and a rock that says "Only breakable by hammer" falls down.
Fawful: ... That is in the working, too!
Fawful flies away.
Wario: Well, I guess we'll get a Hoohoo Block.
Wario and Waluigi go back to see a completed bridge.
Wario: How'd you finish the bridge so fast?
HooHoo Guy: What bridge?
Wario: -_-
However, just before Wario and Waluigi cross, Foreman Spike knocks down the bridge.
Foreman Spike: HAHAHAHAHA! I'm so awesome! I love destroying things!
Foreman Spike leaves.
Wario: Great... Now what?
Waluigi: Well, I guess we can go back to town.
Wario and Waluigi go back to town... to see that E. Gadd is there and building something!
Wario: OLD GUY THAT I ONCE STOLE FROM?!
E. Gadd: WHAT? I TURNED OFF MY HEARING AID!
E. Gadd turns his hearing aid back on.
E. Gadd: What is it, whippersnappers?
Waluigi: What are you doing?
E. Gadd: I built a Mecha-Blanblandon to help out the townsfolk here! They gave me enough Woo and Hoo beans to help me start up Starbeans!
E. Gadd leaves.
Wario: OURS!
Wario and Waluigi grab onto Mecha-Blanblandon. It starts carrying them up Hoohoo mountain. However, its foot breaks off due to Wario's tremendous weight, which makes him drop off the Wario Bros. at Hoohooros's gate. He then flies to the top of the mountain.
Wario: Well, that was boring.
Hoohooros: Welcome! Now, collect my sparkles by spin jumping around the platforms!
Waluigi: But we can't spin jump!
Hoohooros: Oh, I guess you have to battle THESE now!
20 Mini-Hoohooros suddenly jump out of the ground.
Hoohooros: And ME!
Wario: Awww, do we have to?
All of the Hoohooros form pillars.
Wario: Wait, I think I just thunk!
Waluigi: Does that sentence make any sense at all?
Wario picks up a pillar and destroys all of the Mini-Hoohooros with it. He then just sits on the only pillar that's left until it crumbles, taking Hoohooros with it.
Waluigi: 0.0
Wario: Too bad that'll never happen again...
Waluigi: Aw! But that was awesome!
Wario: Wait... how exactly are we supossed to get up the mountain?
Waluigi: Um... punch the wall until we make stairs?
Wario: All right.
Wario somehow punches the wall enough to make stairs to the top of the mountain. At the top...
Wario: OOH! A TELESCOPE!
Wario looks through the telescope.
Wario: What a pretty kingdom... except for the smoke near the castle. Waluigi, remind me to conquer this mountain sometime.
Waluigi: Um... sure?
Wario and Waluigi go to the giant egg with Blablanadon on top.
Blablanadon: HEY GUYS! I'm just sitting on this egg so the kid can hatch. Yep, that's what wierd dinosaur-like things like me do!
Waluigi: You do realize you've left Hoohoo Village in chaos, right?
Blablanadon: Yeah, but all they wanted to do was ride me. It serves those jerks right.
The eggs begin to crack.
Blablanadon: OOH! It's hatching!
Dragohoohoo emerges from the egg.
Dragohoohoo: ROAR!
Blablanadon: Ugly kid, huh?
Wario: I'll say!
Dragohoohoo blows a Hoohoo Block at Blablanadon.
Blablanadon: I'M OKAY! THIS RUBBLE THAT LOOKS LIKE HOOHOOROS BROKE MY FALL!
Wario: Wait... HOOHOO BLOCKS! Hey UGLY! You make Moldy Bones look good!
The Dryest Bones: Stop insulting my far-off cousin!
Dragohoohoo, obiously offended by this, shoots a Hoohoo Block at Wario. However, Wario catches it just as Blablanadon flies back up the mountain.
Wario: Down, NOW!
Blablanadon: Um... You might be too heavy.
Wario: DOWN, NOW!
Blablanadon: FINE!
Blablanadon slowly carries Wario down.
Waluigi: MY TURN!
Dragohoohoo fires a Hoohoo Block at Waluigi. However, it hits Waluigi in the head. Both Waluigi and the Hoohoo Block fall off of the mountain... conveniently into the Hammerhead Bros' chimney.
Mallet: YAY!
Sledge: THANK YOU, SANTA!
Mallet: Do you mean Santa Claus or Smithy?
Sledge: BOTH!
Mallet: Wow, this one is big.
Waluigi: I'm not a Hoohoo Block.
Sledge: AND IT TALKS! WOW, WE HAVE TO MAKE HAMMERS OUT OF THIS ONE!
Waluigi: WHAT?!
Sledge and Mallet start making hammers. Back with Wario...
Blablanadon: I HATE YOU!
Wario: I got a present for you.
Blablanadon: OOH! I LOVE PRESENTS! WHAT IS IT?
Wario gives Blablanadon a Bob-omb, and then runs away.
Blablanadon: I SWEAR THAT I'LL TAKE THE BEST NON-QUEST-RELATED ITEM FROM YOU, WARIO! YOU'LL PAY!
Blablanadon gets blasted into the sea.
Wario: Well, I'll give my block to the Idiot Bros, I guess.
Wario goes to the Hammerhead Bros' house, where he sees that they made Waluigi into a giant hammer.
Sledge: WE DID IT!
Wario: TURN HIM BACK TO NORMAL!
Mallet: Why?
Wario: I need him to help me steal stuff!
Sledge: Good point.
Sledge and Mallet take apart Waluigi's hammer shell. They then construct a hammer out of the remains.
Mallet: Sorry, here you go, Waluigi.
Waluigi: Thanks!
Wario: Make me iron knuckles.
Sledge: But we specialize in-
Wario: Do you want me to eat all of your food?
Sledge: No, we'll comply!
Sledge and Mallet make iron knuckles out of the Hoohoo Block.
Mallet: GET OUT OF OUR HOUSE!
Sledge and Mallet hit the Wario Bros. out of their house down the waterfall.
Wario: Why does this always happen?
Waluigi: You mean us falling in this chapter?
Wario: No, I mean each chapter ending in pain.
Waluigi: Hmm, good point.