Chapter 1: Of Glitz and Glory
Last time... a bunch of things happened! Mario and Co. enter Glitzville. But first, Peach and Bowser!
Peach...
Peach: Why did YOU kidnap me?
Grodus: Because! Now go to your room!
Peach: No!
Grodus: Do it or I will ground you for life!
Peach: Fine!
Peach goes to her room.
Peach: I'm bored...
The doors open.
Peach: Huh?
Peach continues and meets TEC-XX.
TEC-XX: I AM TEC-XX! THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE! WHY HAVE YOU COME HERE?
Peach: I want to go home!
TEC-XX: THEN TAP YOUR HEELS AND SAY "THERES NO PLACE LIKE HOME!"
Peach: ...
TEC-XX: Sorry... Teach me about love.
Peach: Why?
TEC-XX: Because that is the only thing I'm missing in my dictionary! If you do, I'll let you send an Email to someone.
Peach: Ok.
TEC-XX: Also, you can use it now.
Peach: Ok.
Bowser...
Bowser: WHERE IS THE CRUSTY HAG?!
Koopatrol: Not here! Crusty Hag was fired months ago, Lord Bowser!
Bowser: Oh, right. Then I'll say WHERE IS KAMMY KOOPA?!
Koopatrol: In the bathroom.
Bowser: ...
Bowser goes to his throne.
Kammy: My lord! I heard Peach was kidnapped by someone else, Mario is going to find a treasure, and gas prices are going up higher!
Bowser: *GASP* GAS PRICES ARE GOING UP?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Wait... where did you get this information?
Kammy: The Magikoopa in the garden told me!
Bowser: Really?
Kammy: Yes. Really.
Bowser: I want treasure! Let's stalk Mario and hope we find Peach!
Bowser gets his Clown Copter and crashes through the wall.
Kammy: Ugh... Someone call the Wall Repair Company... again...
Mario...
Mario: Where do we go from here?
Goombella: Hmm... The Glitz Pit!
Mario: How did you know?
Goombella: That sign right here says something!
Sign: If you want the Crystal Star, go to the Glitz Pit!
Mario: ...
Mario and Co. enter the Glitz Pit and enter the double doors and see a yellow bird fighting... the Axem Rangers? Ok, now I'm confused...
Rawk Hawk: DIE! Bucket of Water attack!
Axem Rangers: BLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIAAAG!!!
Axem Red: OH NO! I STILL FORGOT TO INSTALL THE WATERPROOF ARMOR!
KABOOM!
Grubba: Wasn't that some fight, folks? 'Cause Rawk Hawk is the champion!
Rawk Hawk: Feel the RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWK!
Audience: YAY!!!
Rawk Hawk holds his belt, the one with the Crystal Star.
Mario: What do you think we should do to get that Star?
Goombella: Fight valiantly and earn it with honor?
Mario: ... I was suggesting we steal it!
Goombella: ... Ok!
Mario jumps to the arena but can't because of an invisible wall.
Mario: Dang stupid invisible walls!
Goombella: So we enter?
Mario: Unfortunately...
Mario and Goombella enter Grubba's office.
Grubba: What in tarnation?! Don't you know how to knock?
Mario: Uhh... Sorry?
Grubba: That's better. Now what can I help you for, son?
Mario: Can I enter the Glitz Pit?
Grubba: Well blow me away! You want to enter the Glitz Pit?! Alrighty then! Just sign on this here contract and you got yourself a deal!
Contract: If you sign me, you'll become a victi... err... I mean a warrior in the Glitz Pit.
Mario: Hmm... A talking contract... I'll sign!
Mario signs the contract.
Grubba: Alrighty! Now Ms. Jolene will escort you to your locker rooms! Oh, and you need a name first.
Mario: How about... Super Mario!
Grubba: Nah, we'll be sued by Mario.
Mario: But I'm Mario!
Grubba: Yeah right! Now pick a different name!
Mario: ... Ultra Mario?
Grubba: Lame! I'll call you the Great Gonzales!
Mario: ...
Jolene: Follow me.
Mario and Goombella enter their locker room and Jolene explains the rules.
Jolene: One, you use the Gameboy Advance over there to start your matches. Two, you listen to what Grubba says to move on. That is all.
Jolene leaves.
Mario: Hmm... I wonder who is on the Fight Roster.
Mario and Goombella check.
Mario: NO WAY!
Goombella: THAT IS WEIRD!
Glitz Pit Roster:
1: Axem Rangers
2: Crazy's Interview Gang
3: The Giant Clubba
4: Magikoopa Masters
5: P.T.'s Interview Gang
6: Twilit Monsters
7: Hamma, Bamma, and Flare
8: Spear Head
9: Drill Heads
10: Armored Harriers
11: Grubby Boiler Monarch
12: Ball N' Chain Knight
13: Arrow Head
14: Despotic Dizzy Totem God
15: Invincible Person
16: Yux
17: Bald Freaks
18: Mr. Jumping Knife and Co.
19: KP Koopas
20: Complete Idiot
--: The Great Gonzales
Mario: ...
Mario registers for a fight.
Grubba: Well hey there, Gonzales! Your first match is against... the blue-hatted Complete Idiot! Now listen, I want you to kill this guy as fast as you can! He drives me insane!
Security appears.
Security: Match time!
Mario tries to leave, but...
Security: Not you! I meant I get to use matches today! Happies!
Mario: ...
Another security guard appears.
Security: Gonzales! Match time! Follow me!
In the ring...
Grubba: Today's match is Complete Idiot versus the GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT GONZALES!
Complete Idiot: Hey how come you didn't stretch my name?
Grubba: ... I don't like you.
Mario: OH NO! NOT YOU AGAIN!
Complete Idiot is actually... GOOMBARIO!
Goombario: Yes, it's me! Now to kill you...
A Thwomp falls on Goombario.
CRASH!
Grubba: We have a winner!
Mario: Yes! I'm good!
Grubba: Not you! The Thwomp!
Mario: ...
Grubba: But you get to move on.
Mario: Happies!
Mario and Goombella go back and register for their next fight and enter the ring.
Grubba: Today is a match between the KP Koopas and the Great Gonzales!
Mario: ... Are you related to someone?
KP Koopas: Yes, why do you ask?
Mario: ... Who?
KP Koopas: Our cousin! AKA the author!
Everyone: O.O
Plit: O.O
Earth: O.O
No one: O.O
Existence: O.O
Grubba: O.O
The KP Koopas aren't there...
Grubba: O.O I think the Great Gonzales won...
Mario: Yay!
Mario goes back and does the same thing.
Grubba: Yeah, another match.
Mack: MARIO! I'M BACK!
Mario: Not you again! ... Bodyguards! I bet you can't jump on each other's heads!
Bodyguards: JUST WATCH US!
The Bodyguards kill themselves.
Mack: Grr... SUPER JUMP!
Mack jumps but jumps too high and gets stuck in the ceiling... again...
Mack: Not again!
Grubba: He wins.
Mario does the same thing.
Grubba: Match start.
Bald Clefts: *sniff, sniff*
Grubba: Overuse of sniffing! Gonzales wins!
Mario does the same thing.
Grubba: Another stupid match.
Yux: I'm Yux!
Mario: ... So?
Yux: The RANDOMIZER Yux.
Mario: Oh.
Yux: RANDOMIZE!
Yux glows, then stops.
Yux: The good news is...
Shadow Mario jumps onstage and takes Yux away.
Everyone: O.O
Yux (from faraway): The bad news is...
All the other fighters pummel Mario.
Mario: X.X
Goombella: ...
Mario goes to the bed and rests up for the next match.
Grubba: Do I really have to say it?
Mario: Since when is Invincible Person a Goomba?!
Goomba: Since I'm a Goomba with a Starman!
Mario: Oh...
Mario and Goombella run around the ring to avoid the Goomba, who is chasing them until...
Goomba: NO! My invincibility is gone!
Mario: ...
Mario and Goombella pummel the Goomba.
Grubba: ...
Mario tries to register again, but...
Gameboy Advance: NO! YOU HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE!
Mario: ...
Mario and Goombella leave and go to the lobby and go outside, after pummeling Rawk Hawk's fans.
Hoggle: OH NO! THE EGG IS ON THE LOOSE!
Egg: ...
Hoggle: I can't make hotdogs without it!
Mario: Aren't hotdogs made of pigs?
Hoggle: Yes, why?
Mario: YOU ARE A PIG!
Hoggle: Oh! Then I can cook myself!
Hoggle cooks himself and dies.
Mario: ...
Goombella: ...
Egg: ...
Mario: A talking egg! Let's be friends!
Egg: Sure, I've got nothing else to do.
Egg joins the party! In battle, he can do absolutely nothing! ... Wow he's lame...
Egg: Shut up!
Mario and Co. register for the next match.
Grubba: ...
Targitzan: So you think you can take another Jiggy from my temple, eh?
Mario: What's a Jiggy?
Targitzan: ... DIE!
Despotic Dizzy Totem God: Targitzan
*Insert Targitzan's Battle Music here!*
MINI BOSS BATTLE!
Mario: 15 HP
Goombella: 10 HP
Vs. Targitzan: 12 HP (1 HP for each
target)
Mario: ...
Mario pulls out a bird and shoots eggs at the targets.
Targitzan: 0 HP
Targitzan: Curses! You have defeated me! Now I invoke my Sacred Self-Destruct!
KABOOM!
Audience: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! PAIN!
Mario: ...
END OF MINI-BOSS BATTLE!
Mario registers for the next match.
Grubba: Arrow Head vs. Gonzales.
Bowyer: NYA! BACK I AM!
Mario: Not you again!
Bowyer: NYA! FIGHT YOU I NEVER DID! CRASH INTO ME DID YOU! NYA!
Mario: ... I'm behind you!
Bowyer: WHERE?! NYA!
Mario pushes Bowyer off the edge.
Grubba: Ring out! Gonzales wins!
Registers again...
Darkhammer: ROAR! I am the Darkhammer from Snowpeak Ruins in Twilight Princess!
Mario: Uhh... Don't you have a Ball and Chain?
Darkhammer: CRUD! I FORGOT IT AT THAT ROOM!
Darkhammer leaves.
Grubba: ...
Registers again...
Grubba: Insert random/witty comment here.
Old King Coal: So you think you can steal my train, eh?
Mario: What train?
Old King Coal: DIE!
*Insert Old King Coal's Battle Music here!*
MINI-BOSS BATTLE!
Mario: 15 HP
Goombella: 10 HP
Vs.
Old King Coal: 50 HP
Mario: O_O We're dead. Unless...
Mario pulls out 10 Snowman Dolls!
Goombella: Where did you get those?
Mario: Deleted scene from the last Fun Fiction.
Old King Coal: 0 HP!
Old King Coal: Ok! You can use my train! Don't you dare scratch anything, as I just polished!
KABOOM!
Mario registers again.
Grubba: TO THE MINI-BOSS!
MINI-BOSS BATTLE!
Mario: 15 HP
Goombella: 10 HP
Vs.
Iron Cleft: 1 HP
Iron Cleft: 1 HP
Mario: O_o?
Iron Cleft: Our defense is so high, we don't even need to have more than 1 HP!
Mario: Oh...
Mario and Goombella run away.
END OF MINI-BOSS BATTLE!
Mario: I hate Clefts!
???: I can help you beat them!
Goombella: Are you the egg?
???: Yes, but I hatched from it! Now give me a name, Gonzales!
Mario: Hmm... Yoshi!
Yoshi: Yoshi it is!
Yoshi joined the party! In battle he can ground pound his opponents or use his Gulp to eat opponents and attack the opponent behind him! Wow! He is better than Egg!
Yoshi: Let's go!
Mario registers.
Grubba: Zzz...
MINI-BOSS BATTLE!
Mario: 15 HP
Yoshi: 10 HP
Vs.
Iron Cleft: 1 HP
Iron Cleft: 1 HP
Yoshi: GULP!
Iron Cleft: 0 HP!
Iron Cleft: 0 HP!
Iron Clefts: Aww...
END OF MINI-BOSS BATTLE!
Grubba: WOW! Gonzales defeated the Armored Harriers in one move! Amazing! You are now promoted to the Major Leagues!
Mario: WOOHOO!
Talking Woo and Hoo Beans: Yes?
Not you!
Mario: What do we do now?
Jolene enters.
Jolene: Follow me.
They enter Grubba's office.
Grubba: What in tarnation?! Don't you know how to knock?
Jolene: Uhh... Sorry?
Grubba: That's better. Now what can I help you for, son?
Mario: She claims that you wanted to see me.
Grubba: All right! Now that you're promoted to the Major Leagues, you get to go to a new locker room! Also, here are some coins.
Mario gets 30 coins!
Mario: Hey... Shouldn't I get money for beating my opponents?
Grubba: Oh, right!
A bag of coins lands on Mario.
Mario: Thank you!
Mario and Co. leave and go to their new locker room.
Mario: Hmm... Looks nicer.
Rawk Hawk enters.
Rawk Hawk: Who's Gonzales?
Mario: Me?
Rawk Hawk: Oh, ok. I just wanted to say hi.
Yoshi: Your Crystal Star is a fake.
Rawk Hawk: Well that's not very nice!
Rawk Hawk leaves.
Mailbox SP: MAIL!
Mario: Yay!
Goombella: Where did you get that?
Mario: Deleted scene.
Mail: If YoU wAnT tHe CrYsTaL sTaR, lIsTeN tO mY dIrEcTiOnS.
Mario: Does this person know how to type?
Mailbox SP: MAIL!
Mail: No I dOn'T!
Mario: ...
Mario registers for the next fight.
Grubba: The Great Gonzales versus the Drill Heads!
Drill Bits: We work for Master Yaridovich!
Mario: Uhh... I'm not here?
Drill Bits: Ok.
The Drill Bits leave.
Grubba: Great Gonzales wins.
Mario registers again.
Grubba: The Great Gonzales versus Spear Head!
Yaridovich: If you want to continue, you have to defeat me!
Mario: Ok! SUPER MACHINE DESTROYING FLASHLIGHT!
Yaridovich: THE LIGHT! IT BURNS!
Yaridovich melts.
Grubba: The Great Gonzales wins! I need a lozenge...
Mailbox SP: MAIL!
Mail: Go To ThE jUiCe BaR.
Mario goes to the juice bar.
Bean: Gonzales, you got a present from a fan.
Mario obtains the Super Hammer!
The background changes and Toadette appears.
Toadette: Hi! Do you want to know about that hammer?
Mario: Yes?
Toadette: Ok! You spin yourself to twist and when you let go, you can do a Super Hammer Spin! Try it!
Mario tries and does it.
Toadette: Great! Do you want to try again?
Mario: NO!
Toadette: Ok! You spin...
54,689,375,938,257,832 repeated lessons later...
Mario: I think I'm going to barf...
Mailbox SP: MAIL!
Mail: Go SmAsH tHe BlOcKaDe In ThE mInOr LeAgUe LoCkEr RoOm.
Mario goes to the Minor League Locker Room and smashes the blockade and finds a paper that says things about the Crystal Stars.
Mario: Hmm...
Then Jolene enters.
Jolene: GONZALES! Look what you did! Now I have to confiscate that paper as payment!
Jolene takes the paper. Mario registers for the next match.
Grubba: It's the Great Gonzales versus Hamma, Bamma, and Flare!
Mario: Super Mario Bros. 3 Attack!
The arena changes to the Hammer Bro. battle from Super Mario Bros. 3.
Bros: Oh #@$@!!!
Mario defeats them.
Grubba: The Great Gonzales wins!
Iron Clefts: Rematch!
Mario: I'm not here?
Iron Clefts: Oh, ok.
Mario: (Idiots.)
Mailbox SP: MAIL!
Mail: Go away or die! From Someone.
Mario: ...
Mario registers for the next match.
Grubba: It's the Great Gonzales versus... the Twilit Monsters!
MINI-BOSS BATTLE!
Mario: 15 HP
Yoshi: 10 HP
Vs.
Diababa: 50 HP
Fyrus: 60 HP
Morpheel: 70 HP
Stallord: 80 HP
Blizzeta: 90 HP
Armogohma: 100 HP
Argorok: 110 HP
Mario: O_O
Diababa: I'm burning!
Fyrus: I'm not burning!
Morpheel: I'm drying up!
Stallord: No sand, I can't live!
Blizzeta: I'm melting!
Armogohma: This ceiling is pointy!
Argorok: Idiots!
Everyone beats up Argorok and Diababa burns, Fyrus is no longer living because he has no flames, Morpheel died from dehydration, Stallord killed himself because there was no sand around, Blizzeta melted, Armogohma fell because she got poked too many times on the ceiling, and Argorok lost all 5 senses from the beating.
END OF MINI-BOSS BATTLE!
Grubba: Well the Great Gonzales wins!
Mario goes back to the locker room. Then Jolene enters.
Jolene: Cake for you.
Mario: Happies!
Mario eats the cake.
Mario and Co: Yummy!
Mario registers for the next fight.
Grubba: The Great Gonzales versus P.T.'s Interview Gang!
Mario: Punchy! I'll give you a potato chip if you and your team surrender!
Punchy: POTATO CHIP! WE SURRENDER!
Grubba: ... The Great Gonzales wins!
Mario registers again.
Grubba: The Great Gonzales versus the Magikoopa Masters!
Mario: Isn't your wand backwards?
R Magikoopa: Hmm... So it is!
R Magikoopa turns his wand around, so it now points the wrong way.
R Magikoopa: Die!
BOOM!
Magikoopas: X_X
Grubba: The Great Gonzales wins!
Bowser: MARIO!
Mario: Hi Bowser!
Grubba: Why are you calling the Great Gonzales Mario?
Bowser: You mean that isn't Mario? Oh...
Bowser leaves.
Mailbox SP: MAIL!
Mail: Go To ThE pHoNeBoOtH.
Mario goes to the phonebooth outside and finds a key.
Mailbox SP: MAIL!
Mail: Go To ThE sToRaGe RoOm NeXt To GrUbBa'S oFfIcE.
Mario goes to the storage room next to Grubba's office and finds someone in there.
???: Hello there!
Mario: Who are you?
???: I'm Ms. Mowz! Expert Badge Thief!
Mario: Why are you in here?
Ms. Mowz: I was looking for badges, but I found cheap junk.
Ms. Mowz points to a pile of stuff that has lots of good things including the Beanstar and the Cobalt Star.
Mario: ... Ok.
Ms. Mowz: May we meet again, my cheese hunk.
Ms. Mowz kisses Mario and runs away.
Mario: That was weird...
Yoshi: I know!
Ms. Mowz: Comes back in.
Ms. Mowz: Also there is a switch in here.
Ms. Mowz leaves again.
Mario: Hmm... These boxes look suspicious...
Mario pounds them with his hammer, but nothing happens.
Mario: Let's blow up these boxes with these explosives I found!
Yoshi: Good idea!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
A security guard comes in.
Security: Who is in the storage room here?!
Mario: Uhh... No one?
Security: Oh... Ok.
The guard leaves.
Mario: Idiot. Hey, what's this?
He pulls off the fake background.
Mario: ... YOU MEAN ALL THIS TIME THEY WERE JUST YELLOW BLOCKS?! @#$@#$@#$@%^#$%^#$!!!
Yoshi: Foul mouth.
Mario destroys all the blocks and presses a switch, which makes stairs appear.
Mario: Let's go!
Mario climbs up, destroys a Big Yellow Block, enters the vents, and hears a conversation.
Grubba: So people went missing?
Jolene: Yup.
Grubba: Do you know about the Crystal Stars?
Jolene: They're star-shaped?
Grubba: You know a LOT about them... Anything else?
Jolene: Gonzales is in the vents?
Grubba: Hmm... And what does that have to do with the Crystal Stars?
Jolene: It doesn't.
Grubba: Ok. You can leave now.
Mario: OH MY DAD!
Grubba: WHAT IN TARNATION WAS THAT?!
Mario: Mice?
Grubba: Oh. Ok.
Mario: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
Yoshi: What?
Mario: The Crystal Stars are star-shaped! Who knew?
Yoshi: ...
Mario and Co. leave and register for the next match.
Grubba: The Great Gonzales versus The Giant Clubba!
Giant Clubba: I'm the same one from Chapter 7 from the last story!
Fanfare starts.
Mario: OH NO!
Mario and Goombella run away.
Giant Clubba: Huh?
The Giant Clubba turns around and finds a Zeeky Bomb.
Giant Clubba: OH @#$%@$%#@$^$#!!!
Zeeky Bomb: Zeeky Boogy Doog!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Grubba: I guess the Great Gonzales wins!
Mario and Co. register for the next match.
Mailbox SP: MAIL!
Mail: I said go away or die! From someone.
Mario: ...
Jolene comes in with more cake.
Jolene: More cake.
Mario: Sorry, we won't eat cake until after the next match.
Mario goes to the ring.
Grubba: The Great Gonzales versus Crazy's Interview Gang!
Mario: OH NO! They can't be bribed! Well... I think they can't...
MINI-BOSS BATTLE!
Mario: 15 HP
Yoshi: 10 HP
Vs.
Lakitu: 10 HP
Crazee Dayzee: 7 HP
Axem Red: 50 HP
Axem Green: 50 HP
Axem Yellow: 55 HP
Axem Pink: 45 HP
Axem Black: 50 HP
Security Bot: 100 HP
Gloomtail: 80 HP
Hector the Reflector: 50 HP
Six-Face Sal: 60 HP (10 for each head)
Cactaur: 20 HP
Mario: Since when is Gloomtail, Hector, and Sal part of the gang?
Lakitu: Since always, why?
Mario: Just asking... Wait... the author said he won't post the HP unless we Tattle!
I gave you the Peekaboo Badge for no reason.
Mario: Ah, ok.
Yoshi: I know how to beat them! Look! It's your boss!
Lakitu and Others: WHERE?!
Yoshi pushes them out.
Mario: How did you push them all out?
Yoshi: I have no idea.
END OF MINI-BOSS BATTLE!
Grubba: The Great Gonzales wins!
Mario registers for the next match.
Grubba: The Great Gonzales versus the Axem Rangers!
Mario: Didn't we fight you already?
Axem Rangers: Yeah, but this battle is when we get to use the Blade!
Axem Red jumps to their Breaker Beam Cannon.
Axem Rangers: Cannons charged! Lasers locked! Guillotines good to go! Fire the Breaker! BREAKER BEAM!
Mario: We're over here.
Axem Red: HOW DID YOU AVOID IT THIS TIME?!
Mario: You blasted towards the audience.
Axem Red: ...
Mario: Bucket of Water Attack!
Axem Rangers: BLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIAAAG!!!
Axem Red: OH NO! I STILL FORGOT TO INSTALL THE WATERPROOF ARMOR!
KABOOM!
Grubba: You know.
Mailbox SP: MAIL!
Mail: PuLl OfF aLl ThE gReAt GoNzAlEs PoStErS iN tHe LoBbY.
Mario goes to the lobby and pulls off all the posters and finds a key behind one.
Mailbox SP: MAIL!
Mail: OpEn ThE dOoR oN tHe SeCoNd FlOoR oF tHe StOrAgE rOoM.
Mario does what the mail said and finds another Big Yellow Block. When he smashes this one, he finds people under it.
KP Koopa: Ow...
Bald Cleft: Pain...
KP Koopa: Don't go to the arena alone! And don't trust Grubba!
KP Koopa and Bald Cleft faint.
Mario: Oh come on! He wasn't supposed to reveal who did this to them yet!
Mario goes back to the locker room and registers for the Title Match.
Security: Come with me if you want to live!
Mario: What?
Security: Sorry, I watch too much TV and most of the TV shows I watch have that line.
Mario: Ok.
Mario follows the guard to a cheap locker room.
Security: Wait in here.
Meanwhile at the ring...
Grubba: Today is the match between the Great Gonzales and RAWWWWWWWWWWWK HAWK!
Rawk Hawk: Feel the RAWWWWWWWWWWWK!
Audience: YAY!
Back to Mario and Co.
Mario: Hey! He forgot to lock the door! Doesn't he watch movies?
Mario goes to the ring.
Rawk Hawk: What? I told the guard to lock you in that locker room!
Audience: GASP!
Rawk Hawk: Oh... Did I just say that out loud?
Grubba: Yes you did! You are now banned from the Glitz Pit! And by default, the Great Gonzales is the new Champion!
Audience: YAY!
Jolene takes Mario to the Champion's Room.
Jolene: Also, here is your money.
Mario obtains a sack of money!
Mario: Yay!
Mailbox SP: MAIL!
Mail: FiNd ThE gHoSt In ThE cHaMpIoN's RoOm. FrOm X. By ThE wAy, AlL tHe OtHeR lEtTeRs WeRe FrOm Me.
Mario: Ok.
Mario goes to the vents because that's where voices were coming from. After going through it, he ends up in Grubba's office, while Grubba is in it.
Grubba: Now to put my blueprints here.
Mario stands on his bookcase, which falls over and makes a really loud crash and also makes the plant fall over, and the dirt goes on the couch, and Mario grabs the bookcase, but everything falls out and slams on the couch which causes the dirt to fly on top of Grubba, which makes him swell up because apparently, he's allergic to dirt. But Grubba doesn't notice anything.
Grubba: Well, time to go.
Grubba leaves.
Mario and Co: ...
Mario checks the drawer where Grubba put his blueprints.
Blueprints: CRYSTAL STAR-POWERED MACHINE!
Mario: Grubba has the Crystal Star?!
Grubba enters.
Mario: What in tarnation?! Don't you know how to knock?
Grubba: Uhh... Sorry?
Mario: That's better.
Grubba: Wait... I should be the one saying that! WHAT IN TARNATION DID YOU DO?! AND WHY DO YOU HAVE MY BLUEPRINTS?!
Yoshi: We know.
Grubba: Eek! I'm now going to run away to the ring!
Grubba runs away.
Mario: ... To the ring!
Mario and Co. enter the ring and find Grubba in a machine that is powered by a Crystal Star.
Grubba: Since you found out my secret, I have to kill you!
Grubba transforms into Macho Grubba.
Macho Grubba: WE FIGHT!
BOSS BATTLE!
Mario: 15 HP
Yoshi: 10 HP
Vs.
Macho Grubba: 30 HP
Macho Grubba: ...
You have half your HP because of budget cuts.
Macho Grubba: Dang budget cuts!
Mario: Hammer!
Macho Grubba: 28 HP
Goombella: Headbonk!
Macho Grubba: 26 HP
Macho Grubba: Double Attack!
Macho Grubba can now attack twice per
turn for 3 turns.
Macho Grubba: Power Up!
Macho Grubba's Attack +3 for 3 turns.
Mario: Hmm... I got it!
Mario throws a Power Punch on Macho
Grubba!
Yoshi: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Mario: *whisper, whisper*
Yoshi: Oh...
Yoshi throws another Power Punch at him! Why are they doing that?
Macho Grubba: Time to...
Wait... You have an allergic effect
on you because of the dirt...
Macho Grubba: So?
That means power-ups and stat boosts
can't work on you!
Macho Grubba: Oh...
Macho Grubba loses his power ups but
is still big!
Macho Grubba: Hey! I can't move!
Mario: Ha! You're so big and heavy,
that you can't move!
Macho Grubba: NO!
Mario and Yoshi use Unlimited-Attacks-On-Macho-Grubba-Because-He-Is-A-Sitting-Duck-Ha-Ha-Ha!
Macho Grubba: 0 HP!
END OF BOSS BATTLE!
Grubba: Ow...
The Crystal Star falls from the top of the machine.
???: Thank you!
Mario turns around and ??? reveals herself to be...
Mario: Jolene?
Jolene: Yes. By the way, I was X.
Mario: Ok.
Jolene: You can have the Crystal Star. Now... GRUBBA! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BROTHER?! AKA THE OLD GLITZ PIT CHAMPION!
Grubba: I have no idea what you're talking about... I did nothing to him...
Jolene: Then where is he?
Prince Mush: Right here...
Jolene: MUSH! Wait... Where were you this whole time?
Prince Mush: The bathroom!
Everyone: O_O
Jolene: ... How could you have been in the bathroom for so long?!
Prince Mush: I ate a lot of beans at the bean eating contest. Plus, the door got stuck when I tried to get out, but than I realized, the door said pull and I was pushing.
Jolene: ...
Mario: Well I'll be taking the Crystal Star now!
Yoshi, Jolene, and Prince Mush: WAIT!
Mario: What?
Yoshi, Jolene, and Prince Mush cover their eyes with one hand.
Mario: O_o?
Mario grabs the Crystal Star and a very bright light show happens.
Mario: AHH! MY EYES!
Everyone that didn't get blinded: Thank you for telling us earlier, Author!
You're welcome.
Mario: ... And you didn't tell me, why?
That's the new joke! Instead of being blown up!
Mario: ...
END OF CHAPTER:
Will my old jokes return? Will I be able to work on this AND my comic series? Why am I telling you this? Why was Punchy the only one who spoke? Why were the opponents random people? Why did the Axem Rangers fight twice? Why did Axem Red still forget to install the water proofarmor? Find out in Chapter 2: 3 Days of Excess!