Tin Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

By Crazy Koopa

Chapter 4: The Great Boggly Tree

Lousy recap as usual. Mario and Co. finally got the Sapphire Star from Keelhaul Key. To the not important characters as usual…

Grodus: Crump! You failed!

Lord Crump: …

Grodus: Just for that failure, you’re going on the next mission immediately!

Lord Crump: To Boggly Woods?

Grodus: Yes!

Lord Crump: Ok.

Lord Crump leaves. The Shadow Sirens enter.

Beldam: No?

Marilyn: GUH!

Vivian: She’s right. You start asking what’s up by saying “yes?” not “no?”

Grodus: I have to agree with them.

Beldam: Silence before I punish you!

Everyone: …

Grodus: Anyways, you… people go to Boggly Woods now.

Beldam: Ok.

The Shadow Sirens leave. An X-Naut enters.

X-Naut: Sorry I’m late, dude… uhh… sir! I got the sketch of that guy!

Grodus: What?! You didn’t give it to the Shadow Sirens?!

X-Naut: Was I supposed to, sir dude?

Grodus: … I’d kill you if I had my staff…

X-Naut: The one Crump sold on eBay for less then five coins?

Grodus: WHAT?! That was my favorite staff! TT^TT

X-Naut: … What kind of face is that, sir dude?

Grodus: Crying! Can you see the TT parts look like watery eyes?!

X-Naut: No.

Grodus: …

With the not important princess!

Peach: I am too important!

TEC: Lab. Now.

Peach: … What?

TEC: Lab. Now. Go. Potion. Create.

Peach: Why are you talking like that?

TEC: Bored.

Peach: …

Peach goes into the elevator, goes to the sublevel where the lab is, and goes into the lab… with 2 X-Naut PhDs…

X-Naut PhD 1: Ok, we have to finish organizing the medical drugs.

X-Naut PhD 2: Ok. Ascorbic Acid, Acetaminophen, Antihistamines, Mypenzadyne…

X-Naut PhD 1: Wait, what’s Mypenzadyne?

X-Naut PhD 2: I said my pen is dying.

X-Naut PhD 1: …

Peach does what she did to those 2 Bandits from the Prologue… Eww…

Peach: Now what?

TEC: Potion. Create. Now.

Peach: How?

TEC: Dunno.

Peach: …

TEC: Anyways, now that my boredom has passed, you must create an Invisibility Potion.

Peach: How about this?

Peach hacks into the game’s coding, and changes everything.

X-Nauts > Swift Phantoms
X-Naut PhDs > Phantoms
Elite X-Nauts > Gold Phantoms
Floors > Safe Zones

TEC: … How did you do that?

Peach: … I don’t know…

TEC: … Go to Grodus’s office.

Peach goes out and enters Grodus’s office with ease since the Phantoms (X-Nauts) can’t see her since the entire floor is made up of safe zone.

Peach: Now what?

TEC: Find the disc that looks like a Famicon Game Thingy!

Peach goes to the shelf and finds it.

Peach: … Is it supposed to be labeled “How To Takeover The World If You’re A Computer That’s Stuck In One Place And Is Learning About Love From A Princess Named After A Fruit Of Some Kind Mainly Peach And The Princess Rules A Place Called The Mushroom Kingdom”?

TEC: … No… It’s the one next to it.

Peach: The one labeled “How To Beat The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass Without Cheating In 1028 Easy Steps?”

TEC: Yes! That’s the one! Now download it onto Grodus’s computer.

Peach: …

Peach downloads it.

Peach: Wait, how can you get it from here?

TEC: Hacking, of course!

Peach: …

TEC hacks into Grodus’s computer and downloads the info.

TEC: … Oh! You touch the Touch Screen to get past the Start Menu! I wonder why the game didn’t say that…

Peach: … It does…

TEC: … Anyways, are you going to change the game’s coding back?

Peach: Nah, I’m lazy. Just use the Default Button.

TEC does. Everything is back to normal.

TEC: Send an Email.

Peach: Finally!

To the useless Koopa King!

Bowser: I’m not useless!

Kammy: To the World #-4 rip-off!

Bowser: Why not just do this?

Bowser installs an Action Replay and makes himself invincible.

Bowser: I’M READY!

Bowser rampages through the level, and eventually makes it to the flag.

Rawk Hawk: This is my place! I’m training to stay champion at the Glitz Pit!

But you were banned.

Rawk Hawk: They put me back in! Anyways, feel the RAWWWWWWWWWWK! Die!

Bowser stomps on him. Kammy for no reason at all touches the wall. The vibration of that simple tap makes the 3D, actual weight Crystal Star Belt fall from the paper wall, with the wall coming down too, breaking the wall and the Crystal Star.


Bowser: …

To the not-so-great hero!

Mario: I am too great!

Bobbery: To the Thousand-Year Door!

Thousand-Year Door: I don’t feel like doing a light show…

A stamp falls out of the sky and lands on the map where The Great Tree goes.

Thousand-Year Door: Go there.

Mario and Co. go to Leaf’s house.

Leaf: What kind of name is Leaf?!

Spirit of Power: Hey! That’s my name! Die!

Leaf kills Leaf.

Mario: … What’s with the many Phantom Hourglass references?

Leaf: I don’t know. And my name isn’t Leaf! It’s Frankly!

Mario: Who cares? How do we get to the Great Tree?


Mario and Co. go underground. Eventually, they find a Puni.

Puni: Hi!

Mario: Aren’t you supposed to go through that hole and flee from us?

Puni: I don’t feel like it.

Mario: …

Puni: Help! The Great Tree is under attack! Will you help us?

Mario: Ok.

Puni: Thanks!

The Puni goes into the hole. A path appears… in the other room…

Mario: How are we supposed to get over there?!

Puni: … Oh yeah!

The Puni grabs the pipe; yes it grabs the pipe, and drags it, killing random enemies that are attacking him, and brings the pipe to Mario and Co.

Mario and Co.: O_O  If you can do that, why do you need our help?!

Puni: We’re lazy!

Mario and Co.: …

Mario and Co. enter the pipe and reach Boggly Woods.

Mario: What the?! This place looks like a forest fire, or ten!

Puni: No, there were 23 forest fires from the wars we had against the Pale Piranhas, Dark Puffs, and Clefts for The Great Tree, 13 more from what you said.

Mario and Co: O_O

Mario and Co. enter the next area and see the Shadow Sirens.

Beldam: Vivian! You lost the sketch! Now we’ll never know what Mario looks like!

Vivian: … We saw him at the Poshley Sanctum. We know what he looks like.

Beldam: Don’t make things up in front of me!  Hey look! It’s Mario! Hi! Now back to what I was saying, we don’t know what he looks like!

Everyone: …

Mario and Co. walk by and go to The Great Tree.

Puni: Ok! Now we must go see Madame Flurrie!

Mario: Why? And we never even heard your name…

Puni: Because there is an invisible… thingy… blocking the secret entrance! And my name is Punio!

Mario: … Why do we need to take the secret entrance?

Punio: Because!

Mario: …

Mario and Co. go to Flurrie’s house and knock on the door.

Flurrie: Who’s there?

Mario: Mario, Goombella, Yoshi, Bobbery, and Punio.

Flurrie: … Never heard of you! Go away!

Mario: … Well! We tried!

Punio: No! Let’s try again!

Punio knocks on the door.

Flurrie: Who’s there?

Punio: Mario, Goombella, Yoshi, Bobbery, and Punio.

Flurrie: Oh! Punio! Come in!

Mario: …

Mario and Co. enter the house, and because this part is boring, we’ll fill this part with random filler.

Count Bleck: Eh? Who put garlic in this floating basket in front of Count Bleck?

Nastasia: Random Vampire Hunters.

Count Bleck: … Why?

Vampire Hunters: Because all vampires’ names start with Count!

Count Bleck: …

Nastasia: K, Count Bleck isn’t a vampire. If he was, he’d be dead by Chapter 6 from Super Paper Mario. Not the beginning since he was indoors, not during the wedding because that was in Castle Bleck, and not during the meetings since we were indoors. Chapter 6 proves he isn’t a vampire since that was outdoors.

Vampire Hunters: … Dang!

Back to Boggly Woods…

Mario: Now to the Great Tree!

Now… wait… we forgot Flurrie’s Partner Thingy! Flurrie joined the party! In battle, she can Body Slam her opponents or blow them away with her Gale Force! Outside of battle, she can use her wind power and reveal secret entrances/things and stun enemies!

Mario: … Anyways, TO THE GREAT TREE!

Mario and Co. go there. Flurrie blows away the secret panel, but there is no secret entrance.

Punio: Darn. I wanted to use the secret entrance. Oh well, might as well use this key I had the entire time on the door.

Punio opens the door, but it gets stuck. Punio pulls out a battleaxe and destroys the door.


Punio: Because RPG Laws and Adventure Game Laws clearly state that you need a partner in every chapter except the ones that are supposed to be Chapter 7 and 8 or above!

Mario: …

Mario and Co. enter and find…

Mario: … How did you get here?

Jelly Jiggler: The power of jelly!

Mario: …And why are you here?

Jelly Jiggler: Looking for myself! I couldn’t find me on the train or the island! So I’m searching in this tree!

Mario: …

Bobbery: Also, he’s a running gag!

Mario: …

Punio: Puniper! We must trust them!

Puniper (who suddenly appeared): No. You must rescue the elder, and the other 90 Punis.

Punio: Fine!

Mario: …

Mario and Co. continue on and find the cages.

Mario: Wait, where are the X-Nauts?

Flurrie: Look in there!

Flurrie points to the cages, which have the X-Nauts in them.

X-Nauts: Those things are scary!

Everyone: …

Mario and Co. enter the next room and find Ms. Mowz.

Ms. Mowz: Hi!

Mario: Ok.

Ms. Mowz: Bye!

Ms. Mowz leaves.

Everyone: …

Mario and Co. continue and eventually go back to the main entrance.

Puniper: What took you so long?! The elder came back!





100 Punis joined the party!

Mario and Co. continue and… wait… I forgot the Shadow Sirens! Oh well, I know how to make them appear. Anyways… wait… I also forgot the Puni Orb!

Mario: I got that in a deleted scene.

Ok. Mario and Co. continue and eventually make it to the first Jabbi Hive… which looks like a military base…

Everyone except the Punis: O_O

Punis: CHARGE!

The Punis enter. Then screams are heard, first the Punis, then the Jabbies. The Jabbi Hive explodes.

Everyone except the Punis: O_O

Mario and Co. enter and find a Blue Key.

Mario: …What’s the point of this?

Punis: Absolutely nothing!

Mario: …

Mario and Co. continue and find another Jabbi Hive… which looks like an even bigger military base than the last one.

Everyone except the Punis: O_O

Punis: CHARGE!

Screams are heard, first from the Jabbies, then from… the Jabbies again!

Everyone except the Punis: …

Mario and Co. continue and eventually make it to that one part where Lord Crump made that cheesy podium thing.

Mario: Should I put the Puni Orb here?

Everyone: Do whatever.

Mario puts it on the platform. Nothing happens. Lord Crump appears.

Lord Crump: Hey! Where’s the trap?! Gimme that!

Lord Crump takes the Puni Orb. Then the cage falls on Lord Crump.

Lord Crump: … Help?

Mario takes the Puni Orb from him and continues on through, passing annoying parts like the lilypad room and eventually reaching the bottom of the tree where the Crystal Star is.

Thudley: Yup! Thudley the Pixl here! Do you have enough girth for the Crystal Star?!

Mario: Huh?

Thudley: Let me check! Hmm…

Thudley explodes.

Mario: … What now?

Gourmet Guy suddenly appears and breaks the tile because he’s THAT heavy. The Crystal Star appears.

Gourmet Guy: I admit I’m fat.

Shadow Mario: At least SOMEONE admits they’re fat!

Wario: Hey! That story is over! Stop annoying me!

Mario: …

Lord Crump appears and takes the Emerald Star.

Lord Crump: Thanks!

Goombella: How’d you escape?

Lord Crump: RPG Logic!

Everyone: …

Lord Crump: Anyways, bye! I’m gonna make the tree explode with explosives that are in my pocket!

Lord Crump presses a button. The bombs in his pocket explode and send everyone to the entrance to The Great Tree.

Lord Crump: How’d you get here so fast?!

Everyone: …

Lord Crump: No matter, meet Magnus Von Grapple!

Lord Crump makes a robot appear. He jumps in.

Lord Crump: Time for battle!


Mario: 40 HP
Flurrie: 20 HP
Punis: 1 HP each (101 HP total)
Magnus Von Grapple: 30 HP

Lord Crump: … That’s an unfair advantage!

Mario: Who cares?

The Shadow Sirens appear.

Beldam: Here we are! Now we fight!

Beldam: 9 HP
Marilyn: 12 HP
Vivian: 10 HP

Mario uses Spring Jump!
Magnus: 26 HP

Flurrie uses Body Slam!
Magnus: 25 HP

Punis use Giant Battleaxe!
Magnus: 10 HP

Lord Crump: …
Magnus uses X-Tra Large Pain!
Mario: 20HP
Flurrie: 0HP!
Punis: 1 HP each (81 total)
Beldam: 0 HP!
Marilyn: 0 HP!
Vivian: 0 HP!
Flurrie is knocked out!
20 Punis are knocked out!
The Shadow Sirens are knocked out!
Lord Crump: D’oh!

Mario uses…

???: Hey!

Ludwig appears.

Ludwig: I’m the only Von here! Die!

Ludwig dismantles Magnus with a wrench!

Ludwig: Wait, I thought there weren’t going to be any Koopalings… Oh well!

Ludwig leaves.

Robot Parts: 0 HP!

Lord Crump: … WAH!


Magnus explodes.

Mario: Wait, how’d it reassemble back into a robot?

RPG Logic!

Mario: … At least there wasn’t any brochure joke.

Bobbery: That reminds me, there’s a hidden shop in this tree!

Mario: … You found that out in a brochure, right?

Bobbery: Yup!

Flurrie: That reminds me that a Whacka lives on Keelhaul Key!

Mario: You got that from brochure too?

Flurrie: No, Internet guide!

Mario: …

Lord Crump: … FINE! Take your stupid Emerald Star!

Mario: Ok.

Emerald Star: Oh joy, you’re probably expecting a light show, right?

Mario: Well since you look like you don’t feel like it, no.

Emerald Star: Wrong! LIGHT SHOW!

Mario: AHHH!

Emerald Star: I let you use Clock Out!


… I don’t have questions! Anyways, the next chapter is… Chapter 5: Castle and Dragon.

Read on!

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