Prologue: A New Adventure
The story begins at Lemmy's Interview Show, where G.G. and crew are doing their daily routine.
G.G: Zzzzzzzzzzz...
Koopa 13: Zzzzzzzzzzz...
Chompy: Zzzzzzzzzzz bark bark zzzzzzzzzz...
Lemmy: Zzzzzzzzzzz proper grammar zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Suddenly the ground starts shaking.
G.G: Zzzzzzzzzz- Huh? What what’s going on?
Koopa 13: Zzzzzzzzzzz... Turn off the oven... Zzzzzzzzzzz...
A square suddenly breaks through the ceiling and slowly moves to the ground and makes an explosion.
Lemmy: Ahhhhhhhhhh! What the?
G.G: Woah!
Koopa 13: Zzzzzzzzzzz... Hey, let go of that! That’s my pizza.
Chompy: Bark bark!
He bites koopa 13.
Koopa 13: OUCHY!
Lemmy: What in the world was that?
Another comes down.
G.G: Hit the dirt!
There is another explosion. The four of them look up and see space invaders up in the sky.
Koopa 13: What are they here for?
G.G: Wait...
The mothership shoots out a bomb.
G.G: IT'S A BOMB!
Lemmy: EVACUTATE!
They make a run for it out the door as the place explodes.
Lemmy: No!!! I haven’t paid the deposit yet!
G.G: What’s going on?
They see a bunch of odd creatures running around.
G.G: Who are these guys?
Sephiroth comes up behind them.
G.G: Who are you?!
Sephiroth pulls out his sword.
Koopa 13: That sword is like a giant shishkabob .
Koopen: It's all right. He’s not here to hurt you, he just does that to look cool.
Koopen appears behind him.
G.G: Hey! It’s you!
Koopa 13: What’s he here for? I thought he was dead.
Koopen: Yep, I thought you where dead, too. Anyway, these fellows here are not from this world. They are from other worlds.
Chompy: Bark bark?
Koopen: Yes, other worlds. Come with me and I will explain.
At Koopen's house...
Koopen: You see...
He pulls out a map of space.
Koopen: This is the Nintendo universe that we live in, created by our creator, Shigeru Miyamoto. Whenever a creature is born, it is put into a certain game world depending on race, like you guys for instance are where you are because of what you are.
Lemmy: You always were my favorite interviewer, Koopen. You three could learn a thing or two from him.
G.G: Yeah yeah, whatever. Anyway, what’s happening to our world?
Koopen: I'm getting to that.
He pulls out a picture of a black cat wearing a suit of armor.
Koopen: This guy here was different. Miyamoto couldn’t decide on a place to put him, so he isolated him in abandoned world. His name is Koi.
Lemmy: What’s that in his hand?
Koopen: It’s the Eternal Spear. He used it to bring all the worlds together into one, and now your world and all worlds have been combined. It’s a spear that was only to be used by Miyamoto, but he stole and used it to cause all of this.
Koopa 13: Do you know what we can do right now?
Koopen: The spear was created by Miyamoto, only he knows how to use it. If you wish to get to him, you must make a dimensional rift to his world. To do so you must find objects that contain mass amounts of power. I would suggest going around the place and looking for some. While you do that I will research Koi and what he is up to.
Lemmy: Ok, then I will stay here with Koopen and help him. You three go find some power sources.
G.G: All right! That means we get to go on another adventure.
Koopa 13: Oh, great. It will be fun poking fun at other people we meet.
Chompy: LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Koopen: Good luck.
CHAPTER ONE: Getting Jiggy with the Jiggies
Koopa 13: My Koopa senses are tingling.
G.G: There must be a power source around here somewhere.
Suddenly a blindsighted mole comes out.
Bottles: Who are you guys, truckers?
G.G: No one, just some guys looking for something with a lot of power.
Bottles: Hmm... The only thing I have is this.
He pulls out a shiny Jiggy.
Koopa 13: Hey, it’s one of those important objects that bear and his bird collect.
G.G: How do you know that?
Koopa 13: I have the game, duh.
Chompy: Bark bark.
G.G: Yeah, let’s take it back to Koopen.
Suddenly the Jiggy disappears.
Bottles: Huh? Where did it go?
??: Mehehehehehehe.
They look up in the sky and see an ugly old hag.
Grunty: Well lookie here, what's this I see? It’s a Jiggy that belongs to me.
Koopa 13: That Jiggy is ours, old hag.
G.G: Yeah, give it back before we kick your old, slimey butt.
Grunty: If you want this you must catch, this Jiggy in a racing match.
She flies off on her broom.
Chompy: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
G.G: Darn, she got away.
Bottles: Are you going after her?
Koopa 13: No duh, Sherlock Holmes.
Bottles: Then you will probably need some moves in order to beat her.
Koopa 13: We've already got moves of our own.
Bottles: Yes, but do you know-
He starts bouncing off the walls.
Bottles: -kung fu?
G.G: Um, no.
Bottles: Good, then I'll teach you.
One instruction book later...
G.G: All right, I feel pumped and ready with these new moves.
Bottles: All right, then off you go, after the witch.
They start to chase after her.
G.G: Ah shoot, where did she go?
???: Are you looking for the witch?
Suddenly Ms. Mowz appears.
G.G: It’s Ms. Mowz.
Koopa 13: Ms. Mowz, what are you doing here? You have no reason to help us find what we're looking for.
Mowz: I also need to find the witch.
Chompy: Bark bark.
Mowz: No, I’m not going to steal anything, I just need to borrow a thing, or two… maybe three… possibly four... Anyway, I know the way, so follow me.
Koopa 13: Okay, fine. I hope your nose doesn’t lead us into a trap.
Mowz: Right, then follow me.
They make their way across the land to Grunty’s lair.
Mowz: Here we are.
G.G: Ew, ugly place.
Koopa 13: Hey, what’s that red book over there?
Cheato: Hello, new friends. I'm Cheato, the book with cheats, and have I got a deal for you; if you can find my missing pages I will revel the path to Grunty.
G.G: Ok.
He pulls out some pages.
Cheato: Woah, that was fast. Thanks.
The walls fall apart and the path is opened.
Cheato: Hey, wait! These are pamphlet pages.
G.G: Sorry, can’t hear you from all the way over here.
They walk down the path.
Klungo: Grrr. Mussssssssst protect Missssssssstressssssss Grunty.
We see Klungo standing behind our three heroes.
G.G: (ignoring Klungo) So where do we go from here?
Mowz: There seems to be some stairs over there
Koopa 13: It should lead us maybe to the top.
Klungo: Hey, sssssssssstop ignoring me.
G.G: Well then, let’s be on our way.
They walk around Klungo as if he wasn’t there, and move on.
Klungo: That wassssssssssssnt very niccccccccccccce.
As the four of them enter the room, they are suddenly chained to chairs.
G.G: What?!
Grunty: Welcome all, Grunty’s the name, and these three are here to play my game. My lair is done and here they stand, through all my tricks and traps and lands. So let's get started, here we go: a question for each and every one you of you schmomes. First question for you, my mushroom friend: what is the name of the thing on my rear end?
We see a sock on her butt.
G.G: Umm…. A sock?
Grunty: That’s a secret, how did you know? Did my sister tell you so? It doesn’t matter; now for you, my little, blue-shelled turtle stew.
Koopa 13: Hey, at least I am not in your brew.
Grunty: Take a look here on my screen, do you know where you have been?
A picture of Lemmy’s Interview Show appears.
Koopa 13: Lemmy’s Interviews!
Grunty: The answer of yours was very right, now for the next question, lose you just might.
Chompy: Bark bark.
Grunty: Now you must guess: give or take, what sound does a Chain Chomp make?
Chompy: Ummm… uhhhhh… Bark?
Gruty: That question is right so you pass, but now this question will be the last.
Mowz: THREE!
Grunty: No! That’s right! This cannot be! How could you win against little old me? Now for the hills I shall head, you can’t catch me; go home instead.
Mowz: She's getting away!
G.G: Follow the old hag.
They do so.
Dingpot: Ohhh. Visitors, I like-
Mowz: (ignoring Dingpot) This pot here should get you to the top. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some spring cleaning to do.
She makes her exit.
G.G: All right, let's go.
They jump inside the pot and get shot to the top.
Dingpot: Awwwwwwwwwwwww.
They land at the top, where Grunty is sitting on her broom.
G.G: There she is.
Koopa 13: Ready to get stuck under a boulder again?
Chompy: Grrrrrrrrrrrr.
Grunty: Not this time, now let us fight, to test all your skills and might.
She charges at them. The three of them jump into the air and kick Koopa shells into her head, knocking her back. Koopa 13 starts kicking from wall to wall, dodging her fireballs and then kicking her once again. As she falls backwards G.G. comes from underneath and rams into her back, sending her flying into the air. As she goes into the air, Chompy wraps his chain around her waist and sends her to the ground. She lands on her feet and shoots out a giant fireball that causes an explosion, sending the threesome backwards. As G.G. hits the wall, he bounces off of it and rams his head into her gut, sending her toward koopa 13. He is twisting in the air and spins into her. As she flies backwards, Chompy puts her in his mouth and spits him toward G.G., who rams her into the wall. She breaks thought the wall and hangs over the edge.
Grunty: No no no, this cannot be! How could you defeat little old me?
Koopa 13: Old people are weak.
Chompy: Bark bark!
G.G: Now hand over the Jiggy and we'll help you.
She does so.
G.G: Thanks.
He steps on her hands and she falls from the top of her tower.
G.G: Whoops, butterfingers.
As she falls, a giant boulder falls toward her. When she hits the ground the boulder traps her inside the hole she made.
Grunty: Grunty’s fate this should not be, so quickly, Klungo, rescue me!
On the way back to Koopen's house...
G.G: So this is a Jiggy, huh?
Koopa 13: Yeah, those puzzle pieces used to help us open doors in Banjo Kazooie.
G.G: Well, then let’s take it back to Koopen.
??: Not so fast, see.
Suddenly Popple and Doopliss appear.
Popple: You'd better give us that Jiggy, see?
Doopliss: Otherwise we will destroy you slicks.
G.G: What in the world do you want it for?
Popple: We can get a lot of money for it, see? Now hand it over.
Chompy: Grrrrrrrrrrr!
Popple: Well then I guess I'm gonna have to get serious, see?
Doopliss: Me too.
He turns into G.G.
G.G: You've gotta be kidding me! Not only is that not how I look, but there also no way you can win. It’s three on two.
Popple: That’s right, so now it’s time to bring in my new rookie. COME HERE, ROOKIE!
Roy jumps out of a tree.
Koopa 13: Isn’t that Roy in a blue mask?
G.G: Since when does the great bully Roy work for others?
Roy: They're paying me 500 coins!
Popple: All right then, let's do it
G.G: and Popple start duking it out. G.G. starts to swing his bat but Popple grabs it and starts slamming him into the ground with it until G.G. pops up from behind and kicks him, then grabs his bat and starts whacking him against the wall and sending him through. Meanwhile koopa 13 starts bouncing from wall to wall, hitting into Doopliss until Doopliss flies above him and knocks him on the ground and then throws him into Chompy, who swallows koopa 13 and spits him into Roy, knocking him back into a tree. Roy picks it up and slams the two of them into a wall until Chompy starts biting through the tree and rams into Roy, sending him flying. When Chompy turns around, Roy tackles him to the ground. Meanwhile, Popple tries to grab G.G. with his bag until G.G. grabs it and puts it over Popple’s head.
Popple: I can't see, see?
As popple runs into a wall, G.G. kicks him through another wall. Meanwhile, as Chompy is being attacked and Roy is about to ram him, koopa 13 quickly kicks him out of Chompy’s way and swings him into the wall, hitting Doopliss in there as well.
Popple: No! We lost, see?
Doopliss: Impossible! We lost to slicks.
Roy: Can I have my money now?!
G.G: Now why don’t you go home and cry to your momma?
Koopa 13: And say to her bullies beat me up and I never want to go out there again, wahhhhhhh!
Chompy: Heheheheheh.
Popple: Grrrr. You win now, but you haven’t seen the last of us, see?
Doopliss: We will be back!
In a puff of smoke, they disappear.
Koopa 13: You forgot to say slicks. Doopliss!
Back at Koopen's house...
G.G: We got a power source.
Lemmy: Very good, now get more.
G.G: But we got this powerful Jiggy, that has a lot of power.
Koopen: Yes, but that alone is insufficient.
Lemmy: If we want to make a dimensional rift, we need A LOT of power. So for now we just have to continue looking around for them, or to be more frank, YOU three will look for more or you're fired.
Koopen: With the worlds all combined into one, it should be easy. I have made a map of the new worlds. Use it find more power objects. Right now I heard that there is a huge amount of power coming from that tube over there. You can search from there. Now get out of my house.