Chapter 37: Hand to Hand Combat
Mario and Tatanga
walk down the airstrip to stadium number two to see Princess
Shroob... with something attached to her mouth.
Mario: Princess Shroob. I thought I destroyed you.
PS: Nah. We Shroobs will live forever... as Koopamon trainers.
Mario: You can talk...
PS: Yeah, they
won't let me be an Elite member if I can't speak English, so they put
this stupid translator on me. Enough of that. You came to battle, and it is my duty
Mario: All right. Five-on-five, I guess.
PS: Exactly. Mario, I hear you haven't gone against Fighting types.
Mario: No, I have not.
Mario: Oh dear.
Tatanga: Mario, watch out.
PS: Shall we begin?
Mario: Let's do it.
PS: BEGIN! GO HAMMER BRO!
Princess Shroob releases a Hammer Brother to the field
Mario: Hooray for Psychic. GO EEKER!
PS: Hehehe, I
should have known. Classic Mario does classic things. USE YOUR BRICK
Hammer Bro runs
forth swinging wildly, smashing the ground and throwing up debris until
he is haulted by Psychic.
Mario: HEAT WAVE!
Hammer Bro glows for a split second, and all of a sudden the heat wave haults and is blown away.
Mario: What was that?
PS: MIND READER!
Hammer Bro closes its eyes and glows.
Mario: Okay, TRY PSYCHIC AGAIN!
Eeker begins to glow.
PS: HYPER BEAM!
Hammer Bro fires
a huge beam that Eeker dodges. The beam, however, turns and comes
Mario: What the? RUN, EEKER!
PS: It's useless. Mind Reader is a homing move. This means the next move ALWAYS hits.
Eeker runs around
and causes his psychic effect on Hammer Bro to wear off. The beam
then hits from behind and sends him flying forward towards Hammer Bro.
PS: BATTER UP!
Hammer Bro sideswipes Eeker and sends him flying to the arena's edge.
Mario: No! Get back to the center. USE FIRE BLAST AND PSYCHIC!
Eeker jumps forward
and fires a star-shaped flame and holds it in the air with
Psychic before blowing it up, throwing flames everywhere. A flame lands on Hammer Bro,
and he goes up in flames in a matter of seconds.
Mario: Woah, flammable.
PS: Hehehe. He's been burnt.
Mario: So? Why are you happy?
PS: Guts. A special
effect on many fighters. When they suffer a status affect, their
attack goes up. ATTACK!
Hammer Bro jumps
at Eeker and kicks him across the arena before going into a karate
pose and throwing his hammer at Eeker, hitting him down and out.
Mario: Return. Darn, that was powerful. Let's go, B BASS! AQUA JET!
B Bass comes out
and launches at Hammer Bro, who jumps aside and punches B Bass in the
side, flipping it around. Hammer Bro starts screaming and running at B Bass.
Mario: OH MY GOD! WHAT KIND OF FREAK SHOW IS THIS?
B Bass springs
up and dodges as Hammer Bro goes into some kind of body slam and
crashes into the ground. It gets up, pounding on its chest before running in for
PS: USE BRICK BREAK!
B Bass bounces up over Hammer Bro and comes down on him, knocking it out.
PS: Return. How are things so far, Mario?
Mario: I hate Fighting types.
PS: Good. Now it's time for CHARGING CHUCK!
Princess Shroob releases the football-playing Koopa.
PS: HIKE HIKE HIKE!
throws a football into B Bass' mouth and then storms across the
arena and jumps on him and begins to tackle it.
Mario: HYDRO PUMP!
B Bass uses hydro
pump to push himself and Charging Chuck off the ground from the
pressure. They go flying but Charging Chuck lands safely.
PS: GO FOR THE TOUCHDOWN!
pulls a football out and storms across the arena, again plowing into
B Bass and flipping it through the air. It comes crashing down. Charging Chuck then
slams the football into the ground, and it bounces up and comes down on B Bass.
Mario: We're going down. HYDRO PUMP!
The Hydro Pump comes head on at Charging Chuck.
PS: TACKLE IT!
Charging Chuck runs forth, pressing through the high-powered blast of water.
Mario: QUICK! USE ICE BEAM!
B Bass uses Ice
Beam, which freezes Charging Chuck's upper body. He falls over with
his feet wiggling.
Mario: That should do it.
PS: HIKE HIKE HIKE!
flips up even though it's frozen, and runs forth even with its whole
upper body incased in ice.
Mario: My god. HYDRO PUMP!
B Bass pushes it off the arena with the blast. It rises knocked out.
PS: Return. Well, you're good. Hmmmmmm, okay, let's try this one. GO FIRE BRO!
Mario: Fire on water... Okay. HYDRO PUMP!
Fire Bro throws several fireballs into the Hydro Pump and turns it to steam.
PS: LET'S GO! COMBAT MODE!
Fire Bro jumps
out of the steam and proceeds to do throw a pile of punches right
into B Bass, knocking it out.
Mario: Return. Let's try out SHAMAN!
PS: More Psychic! Well I know how to handle these. COMBAT MODE!
Fire Bro proceeds
scream before running at Shaman and jump-kicking him across the
Mario: Oh no. Not again! You aren't pulling off that psycho stuff again. PSYCHO CUT!
PS: FIRE CUT!
Fire Bro's hands
glow red, and Shaman's gold. The two run forth and throw blocked
karate chops at each other until Fire Bro pulls a cheap move and ducks under one and
gut punches Shaman, throwing it onto its back. Fire Bro runs forth screaming.
Shaman glows and
the running Fire Bro starts running up diagonally as
if a stairway was there. Shamea springs up and hits Fire Bro from beneath and flips
it onto its back, down and out.
PS: Good. Return. GO BROOZER!
PS releases the boxing ghost.
Tatanga: A ghost. This can't be good.
PS: LET'S GO, ROCKY!
back and forth, throwing punches at thin air until it throws a punch
so fast it forms a shockwave pushing Shaman back. Broozer goes in and shadow punches
Mario: Return. GO GLURP! Use Icy Wind
Glurp spits a huge stream of icy wind at Broozer.
PS: USE YOUR FIRE PUNCH!
the wind, turning it into small bits of flames that shower down to
the ground. Broozer floats over them and goes in for the punch.
Mario: DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN!
Glurp goes under the ground as Broozer makes its failed punch.
Tatanga: Woah. That was close.
PS: Let's go. ROCKY, SHOW US YOUR SPIRIT!
to punch thin air again, but this time he aims down and forms the
shockwaves, which start to chip and hack at the ground.
Mario: UP UP UP! ICE BEAM!
out and shoots Ice Beam at Broozer, freezing its fists, before using
Ice Beam again to hit Broozer in the face, flipping it. Broozer then screams and
slams his fists on the ground, shattering the ice.
Mario: ICE BEAM!
Broozer charges right into an Ice Beam and is sent flying down and out.
PS: Come back. One more. GO SLEDGE BRO!
PS releases the fat Koopamon with the sledge.
Mario: Ice Beam.
PS: ONE HIT! EARTHQUAKE!
Tatanga: Eww, what a time to be a Koopamon attached to the ground.
Sledge Bro jumps, blowing the ground about. Masses shoot out of the ground and sink back in, and Glurp sinks and then gets shot out. It comes down knocked out.
Mario: Return! I need a new plan... GO CLONE!
Tatanga: YES! A GHOST TYPE!
Mario: SHADOW PUNCH!
PS: Let's go. COMBAT MODE!
Mario: You can't hurt it with Fighting moves.
PS: No, but I
can knock it about a bit. Your Clone isn't transparent, remember. The
moves will hit, they just won't hurt. They will, however, still have effects such as if
hit hard enough he will be thrown back.
Sledge Bro steps up like a sumo wrestler before going all wild and throwing a punch.
Mario: SHADOW PUNCH!
The two throw a connecting punch.
Mario: Let's try your method.
Both: COMBAT MODE!
begin throwing one blocked punch after another. Sledge Bro then throws
an under-punch and guts Clone, causing it to back up. Sledge Bro then throws a slap
that causes Clone to back up even more.
Mario: Let's go, let's go...
Clone ducks under
a punch and then jumps up. Things go slow-mo as Clone's feet line
up with Sledge Bro's head. Things return to normal speed and Clone, still in the air,
throws five consecutive kicks on Sledge Bro's face, causing it fly back and smash
against the ground. Unfortunately it gets back up and fires Hyper Beam.
Things go in slow-mo
as Clone bends back and the Hyper Beam goes over him Matrix-style.
Sledge Bro then goes wild and proceeds to run forth and slap Clone
until it's thrown back.
Mario: It's not hurting.
PS: Right, SHADOW PUNCH!
Sledge Bro punches
Clone for massive damage. Clone counters by kicking up and
hitting Sledge Bro in the chest. He jumps and proceeds to do spin and jump-kicks at a rapid pace, constantly landing blow after blow on Sledge Bro's chest until
he falls. Sledge then gets up and beats on its chest before going wild again, letting
rip an earthquake.
Mario: JUMP, CLONE!
Clone jumps up
and comes down on Sledge Bro's head, but Sledge Bro jumps up and lands
on his head and begins spinning upside down, sending Clone flying onto his back.
Clone sits up and shoots Shadow Ball, flipping Sledge Bro over again.
PS: He isn't going down so easy.
Mario: EASY? EASY WAS TEN MINUTES AGO! SHADOW BALL!
Sledge Bro gets
up only to be knocked over yet again. This up and down motion continues
four more times until Sledge Bro bounces up, screaming at window-shattering volume, and
then runs and slaps Clone right across the face. He then lifts Clone up by the hair
and snaps him over his knee and flings him aside. Clone gets up and limps about
before throwing Shadow Ball. Sledge Bro spreads out and lets it hit him right in the
gut. Sledge Bro catches it and throws it back, but Clone jumps over it and comes down,
chopping Sledge Bro on the head.
Mario: SHADOW BALL! SHADOW BALL!
The ground masses
fly up again, posing as a shield against the shadow balls. Sledge Bro
punches throw and throws a slap that Clone catches. He then flips Sledge
Bro overhead and onto its chest. Clone spins only to be kicked back.
Mario: My god, why won't you go down?
PS: Wanna give up yet?
Mario: NO! SHADOW PUNCH!
PS: Fine, COMBAT MODE!
Sledge Bro runs
into a punch and stumbles back. Clone uses this break to throw in
six more and then an uppercut until Sledge Bro throws itself into Clone and the two
go flying. They land with Sledge Bro on top.
Mario: I WIN!
Mario: KICK UP!
Clone kicks up
and Sledge Bro goes flying off into the air and crashing off the
arena into the water, knocked out.
PS: Return. Good
job, Mario. You REALLY deserve this win. You proceed. I know you
should have no problem further on.
Mario: Thank you. Goodbye, Princess Shroob.
Mario and Tatanga continue on again.