Chapter 4: Fight Isle
Toad’s body is seen floating in the ocean. The body eventually ends up on an unknown island.
Meanwhile at Koopa Castle…
Bowser: All right, I can’t stand you idiots anymore. I’m going to drop the limit from one month to one and a half weeks.
Luigi: This is horrible.
Bowser: You brought it upon himself. You all deserve to die.
Luigi: No, it isn’t that, it’s I thought we had Toad on speed dial!
Princess Peach: Don’t cell phones usually have at least four speed dial buttons?
Luigi: Oh yeah…
Luigi presses speed dial button number 3.
Back with Toad, he’s still unconscious).
Cell Phone: Ring Ring Ring!
Toad’s body moves a little.
Cell Phone: *clears throat in a musical way* I said Ring Ring Ring!
Toad’s still just laying there.
Cell Phone: GET UP, MUSHROOM BOY!!!
Toad sits up, stretches, and yawns.
Toad: What is it, Cell Phone?
Cell Phone: You got mail.
Toad: Really?
Cell Phone: NO! I’M A CELL PHONE, PEOPLE CALL YOU THROUGH ME!
Toad: Oh, ok.
Cell Phone: Now answer the phone.
Toad: Ok.
Toad picks up the cell phone, and talks through it.
Toad: Hello?
Luigi: Hi.
Toad: Luigi?
Luigi: Toad?
Toad: How are you guys?
Luigi: Not so good, Mario’s being an idiot.
Toad: What’s so unusual about that?
Luigi: He’s being more of an idiot than normal; he makes Goombas look smart.
Toad: That’s hard to do.
Luigi: Yep.
Toad: So how’s Peach?
Luigi: She’s telling us about strange things that she hides in her crown.
Toad: What?
Luigi: It’s better left unasked.
Toad: Obviously.
Luigi: I’m the only sane one left, and even then I’m not that sane.
Toad: That’s great.
Luigi: So how’s your fighting going?
Toad: To quote
Lemmy Koopa: “Toad learned little about how to
fight, and really
just went from one trainer to another, so he's not much
closer to being
able to save the day.”
Luigi: What?
Toad: I’m not that much closer to saving the day. I’ve been moved from master to master very fast. I don’t even know where I am anymore.
Luigi: I have bad news, Toad.
Toad: What is it?
Luigi: Bowser dropped your one month limit to one and a half weeks.
Toad: Why did he do that?
Bowser picks up the cell phone.
Bowser: To move the story along.
Bowser gives the cell phone back.
Toad: Makes sense.
Cell Phone: I also have bad news, Toad.
Toad: What’s that?
Cell Phone: Low Battery!
Toad: That can’t be good?
Luigi: What is it?
Toad: My cell phone has low battery, I don’t know how much longer I ha-
The cell phone dies.
Luigi: Toad? Toad?
Mario is seen dancing to Thriller.
Mario: Who was that?
Luigi: Toad.
Mario: The guy from accounting?
Luigi: No.
Princess Peach: Where is he?
Luigi: He doesn’t know.
Princess Peach: Let’s watch and see.
Princess Peach pulls out a microchip from her crown.
Luigi: What’s that?
Princess Peach: It’s a microchip.
Mario: Chips?! Let me go get Salsa!
Mario runs off.
Princess Peach: Anyway, it’s a microchip I installed in Toad’s helmet so I can keep an eye on him, always.
Princess Peach pulls out a full computer system from her crown.
Luigi: How do you…? Never mind.
Princess Peach puts the microchip into the computer, and Toad appears on the screen. Mario reappears with Salsa and Bean Dip.
Mario: I got the Salsa! Hey look, it’s Toad. HI TOAD!
Luigi: He can’t hear you.
Mario: Hey Toad, watch this.
Mario messes with his face.
Luigi: Just sit down and watch, you idiot.
Mario: K.
Toad: Where am I?
Toad walks around for a while, and then he sees a blue Yoshi.
Blue Yoshi: Hello, my name is Lance.
Toad: Hi Lance, I’m Toad. Where am I?
Lance: You’re on Fight Island, where we hold giant fighting competitions and fight all the time.
Toad: Fight Island?
Lance: Yes, it’s located just off the shores of the Mushroom Kingdom.
Toad: I don’t mean to be rude, and please don’t take offense, but I’ve never met a Yoshi that can speak in proper English.
Yoshi: No offense is taken; you’re probably used to Dinosaur Land Yoshis. The Yoshis from Fight Island are more educated.
Toad: How are you more educated? Don’t you only fight here?
Lance: Education Island is nearby.
Toad: Ok.
Lance: So Toad, what brings you here?
Toad: What?
Lance: Everybody has a reason for coming here. Are you interested in one of our competitions?
Toad: Not really. The reason I’m here, well, it has a long story.
Lance: I have time; you can come to my house and tell me it.
Toad: I don’t really want to bother you.
Lance: Bother me? No one’s ever bothered me. Please, I insist.
Toad: OKAY!!!
Lance: What was that?
Toad: Sorry, old habit, usually doesn’t happen. I’ll take you up on your offer.
Lance: Ok, follow me.
Toad follows Lance to a nice little cabin.
Lance: Here we are.
Toad: I like your house.
Lance: Thanks.
Lance leads Toad to the kitchen.
Lance: If you want you can stay the night here.
Toad: Thank you, no one’s been as nice as you on my journey.
Lance: Journey? Now that sounds as though it would be a good story. But wait- tell me, Toad, are you hungry?
Toad: Yeah, I haven’t really eaten in two days since that restaurant incident.
Lance: Please save the details for the story. Do you like Spicy Pasta?
Toad: Do I like? I love it!
Lance: Great! All right, I’ll start dinner, and you tell the story.
Lance starts cooking the Spicy Pasta.
Toad: Ok Lance, it goes like this. Two days ago a big bad guy named Bowser sent out restaurant invitations to my friends, addressed under my name. Well all my friends and I accepted this invitation, and my friends got kidnapped. Well apparently someone must have said something about me coming to save them, because Bowser left a note about how I can save them. So I attempt to get ready to save them by going to The Master and trying to learn martial arts, but he turns out to be an idiot, and so I decide to leave him and get training from Petey Piranha, but he drops me, and I end up the ocean, but eventually I reach this place, where I got a call about how Bowser dropped the one month limit he set for the rescue time, to one and a half weeks. And then I eventually end up meeting you.
Lance: That’s a sad story.
Toad: But it’s true.
Lance: It looks as though the Pasta’s done.
Toad: It smells great.
Lance: It does, doesn’t it?
Lance gets the Spicy Pasta, and serves it to Toad.
Lance: So Toad, do you have any fighting experience at all?
Toad: Not really.
Lance: I can teach you some things.
Toad: I’m not falling for that again.
Lance: Toad, have I given you a reason not to trust me?
Toad: No.
Lance: I’ve been an instructor on Fight Island for a long time now, and I’m the current owner of the Fight Island battle arena.
Toad: I don’t know… I’ll need to learn a bunch of stuff to fight against Bowser; he is a king after all.
Lance: Wait! This is Bowser, King of the Koopas?
Toad: Yeah.
Lance: You’re going to need all the help you can get.
Toad: I know.
Lance: Also I know that in this one competition, there’s a Bowser affiliate.
Toad: I’ll need to be in it, since I have no idea where Bowser’s HQ is. When is this competition?
Lance: Two days.
Toad and Lance shake hands.
Toad: Let’s do it!
Lance: All right, cue inspiration music!
My Heart Will Go On by Celine Deon starts playing.
Lance: I said inspiration music!
Toad is seen crying.
Toad: Poor Jack! Rose is such a horrible person!
Lance: Umm… Toad?
Toad stops crying immediately.
Toad: Lance.
Lance: All right, let’s try this again. Cue Inspiration Music!
Axel F by Crazy Frog starts playing.
Lance: Almost.
Toad: One more time?
Lance Ok. Cue Inspiration Music!
The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny by Lemon Demon starts playing.
Lance: Ok, now you’re just being silly.
Toad: Let me try.
Lance: Ok.
Toad: Please Cue Inspiration Music.
The Eye of the Tiger by Survivor starts playing.
Toad: Thank you, Guy in Charge of Music.
Guy in Charge of Music: You’re welcome, Toad.
Lance: All right let the training begin.
Toad and Lance are seen copying fighting scenes from action movies. Lance is seen being given a piggyback ride by Toad. Lance looks like Mr. Miyagi and Toad looks like Luke Skywalker.
Toad: Is this really necessary?
Lance: No, Toad san, it’s not, but I’ve always wanted to copy Star Wars and Karate Kid at once.
Toad and Lance continue routines like this, until the day of the competition.
Toad: I don’t think I get it.
Lance: Now there’s one thing I forgot to tell you about the competition.
Toad: And that is?
Lance: The way you battle your next opponent, is that you have to fight by your opponent’s rules. So I doubt you’ll ever really fight.
Toad slaps his head.
Lance: Now we’ve got to go sign you up.
Toad: Ok.
Lance: To the competition. Jump on my back.
Toad: I don’t know…
Lance: Just do it!
Toad: Ok, ok.
Toad jumps onto Lance’s back. Lance starts running towards the competition.
Toad: Vroom vroom vroom.
Lance: Shut up.
Toad: Yes sir.
The duo arrive at the competition, which is being held in a giant building.
Lance: Here we are.
Toad: Cool.
Lance: All right, we’ve got to go get you a signup sheet.
Toad: All right, you go get it, I’ll call my crew.
Toad takes out his cell phone, and calls Luigi. Luigi answers.
Toad: Hello?
Luigi: Hi.
Toad: I’m at a fighting competition, because there’s a Bowser affiliate here. I need to get the location of his base from it.
Luigi: I know.
Toad: How do you know?
Luigi: We’re watching you. We’ve been watching you for a while.
Toad: How?
Luigi: Long story.
Toad: So you’ve been watching me for a while.
Luigi: Yep.
Toad: How?
Luigi: Long story.
Toad: Obviously.
Lance returns with a piece of paper.
Toad: I’ve got to go.
Luigi: Good luck.
Toad: Thanks.
Toad hangs up the phone.
Lance: Toad, here’s the signup sheet. I’ll read the questions to you.
Toad nods his head.
Lance: Question 1, what’s your name?
Toad: Toad.
Lance: Question 2, what’s your fighter name?
Toad: Toad.
Lance: It has to be different than your real name.
Toad: Ok, how about, Mushroom of Steel?
Lance: Question 3, what’s your age?
Toad: 22.
Lance: All right, I think that’s all that’s needed.
Toad: All right, when does the first competition start?
Toadinator: Next time.
Toad: What do you mean next time?
Toadinator: You know, on the next segment of Toad with a Vengeance.
Toad: I don’t get ya.
Toadinator: This part’s over… now!