Luigi and Mario: Mushroom Island Battles

By Amos Magikoopa

Okay, reader peoples, I've decided to keep it in script format. If you don't like script, go read The Good, the Bad, and the Torte, written by the best author on the Net, Chef Torte.

Mario: Right-a here!

Mario appeared in a flash of smoke.

Gritty Goomba1: Who be you?

Mario: Your worst nightmare!

Mario ran up to Gritty Goomba1 and smacked him with a hammer. Gritty Goomba2 ran out of the room scared, dragging his comrade’s body behind him.

Luigi: What happened?

Mario: I'll explain later, now let's get you out of here.

Luigi: How?

Mario: I don't know.

Luigi: How about this key?

Mario: What key?

Luigi: That one in your pocket.

Luigi grabbed the key through the bars and searched for a keyhole.

Luigi: No keyhole in sight. I wish I was out of this cage.

Mario: Luigi, NOOOO!

The key shined with power once more, and the cage burst open and melted into shreds. Then the number 1 appeared over the key and turned to a number zero. Then the key stopped glowing and the star handle became a normal handle.

Mario: Luigi, you used the last wish. I was going to use it to defeat Bowser and rescue Peach.

Luigi: Wish?

Just then an alarm went off and the room was bathed in a red glow.

Mario: That can't be good.

The two Brothers ran to the door and scrambled out into a cave-like hallway, where numerous Tanoombas and Gritty Goombas were scattering about.

Random Tanoomba: There they are! It's the prisoners. Get them!

The Mario Brothers ran back into the room and through a door on the other side into another hallway lined with doors. This one was empty. They dashed to the end of the hallway, where they saw a big, red door.

Luigi: This either leads into the leader’s chambers or out of this place.

Mario: Just open it!

The door they used to enter the hallway opened, and the Tanoombas and Gritty Goombas came rushing out just as Mario and Luigi disappeared through the big, red door. The Mario Bros. hurried out into the desert and ducked behind a large rock. They looked back at the door they had rushed out of and saw that the place that they were just in was, in fact, a large pyramid type thing.

Mario: That was-a close one.

Luigi: Quiet, they're coming.

Then the big, red door opened and Mario and Luigi's pursuers came rushing out.

Random Gritty Goomba: They escaped! The king will not be pleased.

Random Tanoomba: Let's go beg him to not punish us!

They then ran back inside. After they did, Mario and Luigi heard an awful droning noise in the distance.

Mario: What is that awful noise?

Luigi: I'm not sure, but as we head towards it, tell me about that key and what happened with you and Doopliss.

So the two plumbers traveled towards that noise, as Mario told Luigi what happened after Luigi entered the cave.


Toad: Help! Help! HELP!

Toad Town was covered in blazing flames.

Toadette: Toad! Over here!

Toadette beckoned from her hiding spot behind a garbage can, and Toad hid with her.

Toad: What's going on?

Toadette: Someone is attacking Toad Town. But who?

Toad: I don't know, but we need Mario.

???: Mario, eh? I can help ye, then.

Toadette: Who goes there?

???: Tis I, Scarvy!

Toad: Scarvy?

A sailor-type Bob-omb waddled into view.

Scarvy: Follow me!

Toadette: Where are we going?

Scarvy: No time to explain, just follow me.

And so they followed him through the burning town, hiding when footsteps were heard and when spheres of fire rained down and exploded in the town after being fired from a large cannon floating above the town. On top of this enormous cannon was a tower. A blue Yoshi was flying towards this tower on an Albatoss (Super Mario Bros. 2). He flew in through the only window at the top of the tower. In this room there was another figure standing in the shadows cast by a bookcase at the edge of the room.

???: So, my pupil, have you brought me the items I consulted you for?

Blue Yoshi: Yes, disguised in my costume of trickiness I snuck around quite sneakily for the items of your wanting.

???: Wonderful. Now go let the one who is our master know that phase 0-1 has begun.

Blue Yoshi: Yes, Mistress. First I will get rid of this costume.

He then took off his costume to reveal... himself to be... the one... the only...  wonderful... glorious... Okay, maybe he's not wonderful or glorious.


Mario and Luigi had finally reached the location of the noise. It was a tiny village on a mountain kind of like Mt. Rugged. The noise had grown louder as they went, and now sounded like a dying animal. This, however, was no dying animal; it was Morton Koopa giving one of his horribly long speeches. Morton Koopa was the noisiest Koopa, and if you keep him going he will talk on and on and on... for a very long time.

Mario: I'm guessing Morton's giving a speech.

Luigi: (sarcastically) I would have never guessed.

Mario: Well let's go shut him up.

Luigi: Gladly.

And so they made a long journey up the cliffside and to the town. When they finally reached the town, they waltzed through the orange gates. As they did so, they were spotted, not by any Koopas, but by a person that would spell disaster for them in the near future. This figure was hidden in a patch of cacti and small plants..

???: (whispering to himself) Go ahead, Mario, run ahead while you still can. It's only a matter of time before the souls of the Mushroom people belong to me. Then I will release unimaginable power upon Plit and make myself its ruler. BwahahahahaHA!

Mario and Luigi didn't notice, however, for they were concerned with making Morton shut his trap. They then entered the amphitheater, from which the sound of the speech came.

Morton: So that is what my dad, King Koopa, is planning to do and that is also why I hate fish. Any questions?

The crowd was asleep except for two people standing in the back: Mario and Luigi.

Morton: Yes, you in the back!

Luigi: Why don't you try to shorten it?

Morton: Well it’s simple I... Hey it's you the Mario dweebs.

Morton leapt over the crowd and landed in front of Luigi.

Morton: Get ready to battle!

Mario: I think we'll be fine as long as you don't talk us to death.

Luigi chuckled and Morton roared in anger.

Somewhere else on Mushroom Island…

E. Gadd: What is it?

The professor was standing in front of a computer monitor, with a sailor-type Bob-omb, Toad, and Toadette on the other end.

Bob-omb: It's me, Scarvy, your new assistant.

E. Gadd: Oh hi, what do you want?

Scarvy: The town is under attack, and I'm afraid our experiment on the bay fish population is ruined.

E. Gadd: Under attack? By who?

Toad: That's the question we need to find out.

Toadette: Actually, what we need to know is where are the Marios?

E. Gadd: Well they were just here, but... Say, where are you broadcasting from?

Scarvy: We're using a webcam on the computer in Club 64.

Toad: Back to the Marios!

E. Gadd: Oh, right! They were just here, but we ran into problems and I lost contact with them.

Scarvy: That stinks… I wish... and... What... noise... breaking up... with signal... and... OH NO! HELP...

The transmission was lost and an explosion was heard.

E. Gadd: Oh no! I must find the Marios right away.

Back with Mario and Luigi…

RPG battle!

Morton- 70/70
Mario- 35/35
Luigi- 40/65

Mario: Why is your HP so low, Luigi?

Luigi: When the Gritty Goombas captured, me I had a fight with ten of them at the same time, but since you had all the items with you I decided to run when I got to 40. They then captured me before I could get too far.

Mario: Oh!

Morton takes out a microphone and attacks with Sonic Scream.
3 Damage!

Mario attacks with Splash Bros. (Luigi helps) and does 10 damage.

Morton- 60/70
Mario- 32/35
Luigi- 37/65

To Be Continued... Right now....

Somewhere else…

Doopliss and a Magikoopa named Amos (sound familiar) wearing a red cloak and carrying a wand with an orange tip named Amos were in a cozy cave huddled around a fire.

Doopliss: And can you believe it, Amos? I lost!

Amos: Interesting! A key that grants wishes?

Doopliss: I wonder what Bowser's doing?

Amos: He'll obviously never tell us!

Doopliss: I know... Wait a minute! Amos, use your wand to teleport us to Bowser’s castle. We are minions, after all.

Amos: First of all, do you really think it's a good idea to ask King Koopa himself? Second of all, if I do a teleportation spell, I might be less powerful later.

Doopliss: We're not asking Bowser, we are going to someone else. Someone who has been eavesdropping the whole time she was there!

Amos: Fine! (waving his wand) tropelet ot apooK eltsaC, dnalkraD.

There was an instant flash of fire, the flames dancing in a circle around Doopliss and Amos. Then they were gone.

At Koopa Castle…

Peach: Help me now, Mario... and Luigi!

Ugh, how she hated life here. There was the smelly shower (the water was black), the moldy mattress, and the bathroom that was so dirty, if Wooster saw it he would die of trauma. The food was okay (scrambled Albatoss eggs for breakfast, and Shroom Roast for dinner; Bowser didn't think she needed lunch). Still... she wished she wasn't here.

Suddenly the door to her cell slammed open and a Magikoopa dressed in red came in followed by a weird creature under a sheet with a party hat on his head. He looked a bit like a creature that Mario had told Peach about called Doopleck or whatever his name was.

Peach: Who are you?

Magikoopa: No one of your concern, now follow me!

Creature: Yeah, Slick!

Peach followed unwillingly. (For those of you who are confused, this part was told from Peach's point of view, so Creature was Doopliss and Magikoopa was Amos.)

Magikoopa: (whispering) Hey Doopliss, where is our other comrade?

Doopliss: Don't worry, that's were we are going!

Magikoopa: I think I can transport us there! I have enough power.

Doopliss: Go for it, Amos!

Amos waved his wand once more, and another ring of flames danced around them.

Amos: ooB esuoH no eht elsI fo atnaK, rolraP!

There was a flash of smoke and Peach, Doopliss, and Amos were gone.

A creature dressed in Purple had been hiding in the shadows of the Castle hall along with the more noticeable Kamek.

???: So the two troublemakers decided to question Peach... Interesting! I will follow them, and once I have enough evidence King Bowser will know that someone is on to his plan. Then those two will be kicked out of the Koopa Clan (or roasted by Bowser) and they will be at my mercy for smashing my favorite vase!

Kamek: Isn't that going a little far for a small vase?


Read on!

Bowser Jr: Hey stupid author, when do I come in? I was only in for three seconds until you sent me to the dungeon!

Quiet, you whiny brat!

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.