Luigi and Mario: Mushroom Island Battles

By Amos Magikoopa

At the Mario Bros' house...

TV Announcer: Now back to The Love of Two Toads.

Zess T: NO! Don't go, Toadsworth! I love you and I'll never see you again if you go back to the Mushroom Kingdom.

Toadsworth: Don't worry, Zessy, I'll come and visit Rogueport sometime.


Luigi is seen sobbing and eating ice cream with a shovel on a very nice red recliner.

Luigi: No! Don't go, Toadsworth! She loves you! *SOB*

Mario walks into the room.

Mario: Luigi, how many times have I-a-told you? The red recliner is mine and the green is yours.

Luigi pauses the show with DirectToad TV.

Luigi: But Mario, my recliner smells like moldy cheese and has ice cream stains all over it.

Mario: That's no excuse!

All of a sudden a BOOM is heard.

Mario: Mamamia! What was that?

Luigi: Oh! I installed a new doorbell.

Mario: Idiot.

Luigi: What was that you said?

Mario: Nothing, now answer the door.

Luigi gets up off of the chair and spills ice cream all over it. While Mario rushes over to clean the stain, he opens the door to see Toadsworth.

Toadsworth: P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-r-r-ncess! P-p-p-p-

Luigi: Let me guess, the princess' castle was raided?

Toadsworth: No! Ha! I tricked you, old bean! Wait, what in fungus are you watching on TV?

Toadsworth walks over to see himself hugging Zess T. on TV.

Toadsworth: *gasp* I thought I burned this videotape. *gasp* Toadette, the cleaning lady, was in my room carrying a videotape some time ago. *gasp* She found the last one and put it on TV.

Luigi: What?

Toadsworth: Nothing. Anyway, the princess is throwing a party in the castle to celebrate Sue T's success in  refurnishing the castle.

Then in the distance, the castle is seen on fire. Toadsworth faints on the doorstep.

Luigi: Mario! The castle is on fire!

Mario: Mamamia! Okay, let's go, but when we get back, you're cleaning up this stain.

Luigi: Umm... Last one to the castle is moldy pasta!

The Mario Brothers race off after closing the door, and go down a pipe. Toadsworth wakes up two minutes later to see a blue Yoshi dressed as a buisness man come up the pipe.

Yoshi: Haha! I'm dressed like a Yoshi pool salesman and the Mario Brothers will never discover my true identity.

Toadsworth: Who are you?

Yoshi: Look! A flying Toad.

Toadsworth: Where!

The Yoshi then hits Toadsworth on the head with a club.

Meanwhile, Mario and Luigi have arrived at the castle.

Sue T: Mario, Luigi! Bowser was just here in the biggest doomship I've ever seen! He attacked the castle, then abducted the princess with an abduction ray. Then he flew off to the ocean towards Mushroom Island.

Mario and Luigi: Mamamia!

Toadette: You must rescue the princess right away! You must take the boat to Mushroom Island.

Luigi: What boat?

Sue T: There is a boat that takes Mushroomers to Mushroom Island for camping and hiking purposes. While you're there, remember Mushroom Island is for camping and hiking only. While it is a vacation spot, there are no towns there except for some houses belonging to the natives of the island.

Toadette: On the boat you can grab a map of the island so you know where to go.

Sue T: Also, when you get off the boat you'll be on a dock in the middle of the ocean. This dock is a boat station from which you can return on one of the boats to the Mushroom Kingdom later.

Toadette: The only way to get to the island is by cannon since the boat can't sail to the island since the surrounding waters are so rocky. Also to return to the pier there is a cannon onshore.

Sue T: By the way, to get to the pier on the boat you'll need to buy tickets, but since my cousin runs one of the boats I get free tickets. So here you go.

You got boat tickets. These can be used to get to and from the pier as many times as you want.

Sue T: For this adventure you'll need a suitcase for items you earn on the way. I have a spare at my house, and I will meet you with it at the boat.

Toadette: Mario, follow me to the boat.

Meanwhile at Mario and Luigi's house...

Blue Yoshi: Finally, after tieing up that Toadsworth fink-rat I can talk like I normally do and take off this stupid outfit. The outfit was only if the Mario Bros. were home and it took all my strength not to yell fink-rat at Toadsworth or that other Mushroomer that came to give Mario and Luigi a cake to thank them for finding their lost cat yesterday. I have fury! Now to get to the buisness of the plan of buisness!

Meanwhile, Mario and Luigi have arrived at the dock, retrieved the suitcase from Sue T, and left on the boat to the pier.

At Bowser's castle on Mushroom Island...

Kammy Koopa frantically rushes into Bowser's throne room.

Kammy: Lord Bowser, the Mario Brothers are on their way here.

Bowser: Ah! I knew they would be. Tell the Koopalings and my other troops to get ready for attack of the Mario Bros.

Kammy: As you wish, Sire.

Now let's check on those Mario Bros...

Boat Driver: Thanks for sailing Mushroom Boat Service. Have a nice day.

The boat then travels off into the distance.

Luigi: All right, Bro, let's get ready to beat up that evil Bowser.

Mario: Let's-a go!

Mario and Luigi walk over to see another boat being driven by a familiar-looking Toad that is just about to leave. Then their boat's motor puffs and stutters, and then stops working.

Boat Driver: I'm sorry, passangers, the boat seems to have broken down. You might be stuck here fot a while, so why not go stay at the motel at the pier or visit the shop here? I'm very sorry.

Two sad-looking Toads walk towards a motel right out on the water. Mario and Luigi walk over to the boat driver.

Mario: Are you the sister of Sue T?

Boat Driver: You bet I am. By the way, the name is Beth T. And if you want to leave, this boat's broken and my cell phone battery is dead, so I can't call the other boat.

Luigi: That stinks.

Beth T: Well, have a nice day.

Luigi: You too.

Beth T. goes to work on fixing the boat as Mario and Luigi go to the motel and take a nap. Then they buy some items from the item shop and then walk towards the giant cannon that is to take them to Mushroom Island.

???: You shall not get to Mushroom Island.

Suddenly a giant Blooper hops out of the ocean.

Luigi: Did you say that?

Blooper: (sarcastically) No, the cannon said it.

Luigi: Oh! Hi, cannon.

Mario: Luigi, now is not the time to be an idiot!

Luigi: Okay!

Blooper: Bowser has given me strict orders that I shall not let you pass. Now prepare to be defeated!

The Mario Brothers try to jump on the Blooper, but get hit by his tentacles.

Blooper: You cannot hit me.

Mario: Luigi, I have a plan! Run around the Blooper in circles and I'll take care of the rest.

Luigi: Okely dokely.

Mario and Luigi run around the Blooper and make him dizzy. Then Mario takes off each tentacle individually just like in Super Mario Sunshine. Then he pulls its nose and lets it go, sending the Blooper flying into the ocean.

Mario: Who's defeated now?

Luigi: Now maybe we should get into the talking cannon?

Mario: Grrrr.

Mario and Luigi hop into the cannon and are sent flying to Mushroom Island.

Who is the disguised Yoshi? Will Beth fix the boat? What will become of Peach? Why is Luigi acting like an idiot?

Read on!

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.